Jessica watched as the boy waved his hands. "Behold, the city dump!"... Welp, her excitement for today has firmly reached the negatives. "Went looking for a job when I came into the city. This was the first one available. I just sort through the scraps and make sure the flammables don't mix with the inflammable. Other than that, I'm pretty much free to do what I want here."
"Good for you... I guess... but... why… why would you want to work at the dump?" Zatanna winced with a gag.
"Any job that has an opening, I try to keep." Iruma shrugged. "It's how I'm paying for school."
"I really need to learn about that place." The princess, Diana, muttered to herself.
"Aww, this takes me back." Barbara, the girl who, for the most part, forcibly dragged them all here, jumped with glee. "It's just like when we were kids, and I found you digging through the dumpster for old napkins to sew into a blanket."
"Except now I can actually find entire blankets that just need one or two patches to sew up together." The boy grinned.
"Well, I, for one, do think it's great that you are resourceful enough to recycle what most people throw away." Jessica smiled, doing her best to put her best foot forward. She would not get into the fighting, but she would at least be amicable enough to try and befriend these people.
"I know, it's such a waste- Hey, free apple." He smiled, taking a rotten core and biting it. "You can feel the bacteria... Anyone else want a bite?"
"Still thinks he's cute?" Kara snickered at Zatanna.
"Very much less so..." The magician grumbled. "I can't imagine anyone with such low standards-"
"Why thank you, fellow sister. A meal shared between warriors binds us for life." Diana grinned as she ate the rotten apple whole. "The fruit of man's world is surprisingly refreshing."
"I know, right? Remind me to show you burgers later." Iruma grinned.
"… Well, I'm disturbed, anyone else?" Karen asked, looking as shaken as always.
"Alright! Now! I believe introductions should hold best!" The Amazonian pointed a finger at Jessica, getting everyone's attention from what happened. "Let's start with you, green one."
"Fine..." Might as well get it over with. "My name is Jessica Cruz, and I have this space ring given to me by little blue aliens that oversee something called the Green Lantern Corp, who, to sum it down, simply are just space cops." The redhead raised her hand. "Yes... Barbara, was it?"
"Yeah, Iruma said you could do anything with that ring. Is that true?"
"… Yes and no." She stated. "While it offers a large variety of abilities, its main factor is the user's willpower as fuel..." Jessica made a giant squirrel, letting it rub its cheek against the girl. "And creativity as its outlet."
"Oooh... so could you make a pogo stick?" Jess nodded as she created the devices. "What about a giant Batarang?" Jessica complied once more.
"Can you make food?" The boy asked.
"It disappears as soon as I stop thinking about it." Jessica demonstrated as she made a giant stalk of celery. "Plus, it's a construct made out of light, so the practicality of it as food is already slim to none-"
Chomp
The boy ate the construct, and it actually crunched in his mouth as he swallowed. "Huh, minty. Thank you."
"… I fear you." The light faded as she took a step back.
"Nonsense, you have nothing to fear, especially with this ring of the gods." Diana walked up to her. "You can create any weapon for any occasion! A most versatile warrior you can be."
"Thank you, but I don't believe in violent solutions." She took a step back and let her uniform form. "If I'm going to be a superhero, then I will not embrace that lifestyle. No problem can not be solved with peace."
"A most noble goal. Not one easily sustained." Jessica didn't like how she worded that.
"Ooh, me next, me next, me next!" Barbara eagerly jumped up and down like a hyperactive child. "So, I got myself a grappling hook, Batarangs, bat bombs, a bat computer, a can of..." She pulled out a can. "Why do I even own a can of Anti Tarantula Repellent?"
"Don't you remember that time when we were kids with Clayface and that sack full of maggots and gold?" Iruma spouted out a completely random segment of words.
"Oh yeahhhhh... that would have helped." The girl nodded as if it made sense. "But, yeah. Basically, I'm prepared for literally anything, especially when it comes to fighting, as I'm about as strong as any teenage girl can be at their peak and really super agile. I managed to get a black belt in karate, which is nothing like in movies where you clean a bunch of dishes and suddenly know the secrets of the universe-"
"You lack focus." Diana summed up as she moved past Barbara. "What about you, Iruma?"
"Nothing." The boy shrugged.
"You literally ate a ball of light." Jessica pointed out.
"So can anyone else if they're hungry enough." He shrugged. "I'm like Barbara. Part of the 'normal human' camp. Right?"
"Come on, Iruma, you can't tell me you still don't have your Super evasive crisis maneuver after all these years!" Barbara giddily chuckled as she shook the boy.
"I told you and Harley to stop calling it that!" The boy glared.
"Never!"
"Hold on." Kara snorted. "'Super evasive crisis maneuver'? Your superpower is dodging?"
"Oh, he's the best at it!" Barbara shook his body. "Back when he was four, he managed to avoid everything that came his way! Brick walls, baseball bats, bullets, flamethrowers, that one time with the weather wizard and that bolt of lighting-!"
"I didn't dodge the lightning. It still got me," he argued.
"It nicked your arm... when it would have fried you otherwise." The girl continued.
"Well, first of all, it's not a superpower. I just dodge things like anyone else can, nothing special." Iruma shrugged. "It's perfectly normal for-ahh!" The boy ducked under a punch that Diana threw out of nowhere. "What was that-! Ahh!" He ducked again.
"Impressive!" The crazy chick exclaimed with glee. "Those were moving with enough speed and power that any normal woman would be unconscious for days on end! You have the reflexes of an Amazon, Iruma!" She clasped the guy's shoulders.
"Anybody else could do the same thing if they lived in Gotham for eight years," the boy insisted.
"Really?" Diana tilted her head before turning to Barbara and pulling back her fist.
"Wait, wait, hold on-!" Barbara tried to call out.
Fwosh
Iruma pushed the girl to the ground before the punch, which could be barely seen by the naked eye, could land. "You should... learn to be less humble... Iruma.." Barbara gasped.
"You should learn not to drag everyone into superhero fights." He shot back.
"Learn to take pride in your abilities, Iruma. A woman shouldn't be afraid of her own capabilities." Diana patted the boy on the back.
"… I'll keep that in mind when it's relevant." The boy muttered.
"Alright, I believe you're next." Diana turned to Zatanna next.
"Well, alright, if you insist." The purple-haired girl giggled with faux humility as she twirled around. "Gentlemen and Ladies, prepared to be amazed by the stunning, the dazzling, the fantabulous..." She bursts out into a light purple glow, her hair sparking and moving with the wind as her clothes transformed into a traditional magician's uniform with a matching top hat. "Zatanna!"
"Wait, Zatanna… like Zatanna Zatara and Giovanni Zatara." Iruma question.
"Yep, that's me and my dad." The magician nodded with a proud grin.
"No way! I remember your show from Gotham!"
"Right, she was the phony magician along with Abra Kadabra." Barbara nodded.
"Phoney!?" The girl with glowing purple hair shouted.
"Well, yeah. Magic isn't real."
"..." Everyone paused at Zatanna, whose hair was now in purple flames. "...You might want to take that back." Jessica calmly warned as she began backing away.
"Why? There's just no proof that magic's real." Barbara shrugged. "And anyone that calls themselves a magic user is just a conman using cheap tricks to make a quick and greedy buck."
"Hide me!" Karen ducked behind Iruma.
"Um, Barbara, please take it-" started the boy.
"How's this for not real!?" Zatanna shouted, raising her hands. "Nwodnus llit tab a fo mrof eht ekat!" She screamed, blasting Barbara.
"NO!" Iruma tried to jump forward but was too late... as a bat stood in place of the girl. "Barbara!"
"This… THIS IS AWESOME!" The once-human girl cheered. "I'm a bat! I'm the inspiration of the greatest superhero of all time!" She exclaimed, flying into the air.
"You believe in magic now?"
"Yes, yes, yes, yes! Magic is real, and it's amazing! I've ascended to my final form!"
"Barbara, bats are the least feared and most feasted prey in the animal kingdom. Literally, EVERY animal considers them food!" Iruma shouted.
"Doesn't matter, for I have the intelligence to make it work!" She exclaimed. "I'm a literal Batgirl!"
"Barbara, stop moving. There's a hawk nearby!"
"I can outsmart it, for I am Batgirl-ah, sharp talons!" Barbara moved out of the way as she flew around a little, avoiding the large predator. "Too scared to think, too scared to think!"
"Hey, shoo!" Jessica created an even bigger hawk to scare them off.
"Most impressive sorcery," Diana congratulated in awe.
"Thanks. I can also change a heart to a spade if I wanted." Zee snickered as she pulled out a card doing just that.
"Turn her back, please." The boy pleaded, walking up to the girl.
"It will wear off at sundow-"
Iruma shifted his hair back, and what looked like purple highlights filled his hair as his eyes got sharper, his face lost the baby fat… and he looked...far more handsome. "Turn her back…please." He repeated again in a far more confident and slightly deeper tone.
Zatanna blushed red as her legs looked noticeably more wobbly. "I… I suppose I can take the limit down to one hour since you asked… asked so nicely."
"Thank you!" And in an instant, the boy went back to normal, showing no sign of… whatever it was he just did.
"… Well, this is turning out swell." Kara rolled her eyes.
"I agree. This is turning out to be the most promising!" Diana grinned, apparently not understanding sarcasm. "Now. What about you, little one?"
"I..." The girl flinched. "I'm Karen... I'm trying to be an inventor, but nothing I build works." She looked down to the ground.
"But that suit you made earlier does." Iruma tilted his head as he held the still bat Barbara in his hands.
"I originally made this suit to be bigger and stronger..." She pressed a button, shrinking it down to the size of a fly. "But it malfunctions and makes me small. I tried to develop weapon systems, but they never fired. And my hover gear keeps making an annoying buzzing sound." Karen sighed. "It's a complete failure. I shouldn't even be here. I'll just go home..."
"Nonsense little bumblebee, there is much strength to be found within you." Diana smiled as she held the girl in her hands. "You simply need the confidence to match it."
"Aaand maybe some weapons." Zatanna deadpanned. "That hawk is coming back for round two."
"Oh no, you don't!" Iruma grabbed a piece of scrap metal on the ground and chucked it at the bird's head, making it fall. "Sweet, now I have a snack for later."
"… Aaaaahh!" Jessica panicked and ran over, looking over the creature. "Come on, be alright, be alive. You can fly and live another day, girl."
"Nice aim, Iruma." Barbara cooed. "I didn't know you were a marksman."
"Picked it up down the line." He responded. "So, can you change her back now, Zee?"
"I don't know-"
"Please?" The boy shifted again.
"… Won kcab reh egnahc, timil emit eht odnu." And in a purple flash, the Batman fangirl was back to normal.
"Sweet. Though I never got to use that bat sonar. Total missed opportunity." Barbara sighed. "So when did you learn how to do the cool scary voice?"
"My, what now?" Iruma asked.
"You know, flipping your hair and telling her please and stuff?"
"… I just asked her nicely. I don't know what you're talking about." The boy looked legitimately confused.
"I agree. They were speaking normally, were they not?" Diana asked, ALSO confused.
"Yeah, this was a great idea, super glad I came." Kara laughed sarcastically. "I'm having a fun time hanging around a junkyard with a bunch of crazy people. It's the highlight of my week."
"Now you..." Diana turned, walking around the girl. "I have felt your strength. You could be one of the greatest warriors of all, yet you do not show it."
"Yeah, 'cause using my powers gives me nothing but grief." Kara turned her back. "Being a hero is for chumps."
"I kind of agree." Iruma raised his hand. "I just came because Barbara's buying lunch."
"Come on, doesn't it inspire you a little?"
"Barbara, I've lived off the land for the last seven years. Being a hero isn't exactly on the front of my schedule."
"… Is it on the back of your schedule?"
"You have the power to achieve greatness." Diana looked at Barbara... and grabbed her. "You just need the right motivation!" And the girl was sent flying across the city at Mach one speed.
"Barbara!" Iruma screamed. "What's wrong with you!?"
"I'm giving Kara here the motivation to act on her naturally heroic impulses," Diana smirked as said the girl disappeared in a puff of smoke. "See? She instinctively moves when someone is in mortal peril."
"Because you put Barbara in mortal peril!" Jessica argued.
"Is that not the most effective way to learn life skills?" Diana asked.
"Yes, but that doesn't mean you should do it on purpose!" Iruma shouted. "What if Kara doesn't catch her in time!? What if a plane gets in the way? What if-!"
"She's fine," Kara groaned from the air as she held Barbara in her arms. Kara was wearing a cape and a suit with a S symbol that invoked similar iconography.
"You're... that's-!" Karen gasped.
"Yes… Superman's my cousin." Kara sighed.
"Oh..." Well, THAT was a bomb to drop.
"Who is this 'Superman'?" Diana asked curiously. "Are not all men created equal, or was he forged from clay like myself?"
"He's not a human, but he is the strongest hero on the planet, bar none." Zee clarified.
"Literally no competition." Karen nodded.
"Even as a Batman fangirl, I have to agree that the guy's strength is off the charts." Barbara nodded
"Hey, for the record, I'm just as strong as him," Kara grumbled. "He's only more well-known and popular because his pod came to Earth before mine did while I got stuck in stasis. The only things super about him before were the diapers he went through."
"You see, you can all be amazing heroes!" Diana shouted. "You simply need to train, and I, with my three hundred years of battle experience, will train you!"
"Is that going to involve throwing us across the city more?" Karen asked meekly.
"If the situation calls for it, yes." Diana nodded.
"… Oh, look at that, my job." Iruma began backing away. "I'm going to go do that now."
"Oooh, Iruma~" Barbara held out a drumstick. "I have more for you if you stay the whole time."
"… You have become devious in my absence."
"Devious... or clever?"
"Devious," Iruma muttered as he ate the drumstick whole, bone and all.
Kara cracked her knuckles. If she was going to be forced to train for this chick, she was going to at least give it her best. "So, what am I doin'?" She asked the Amazon lady. "Punching meteors, stopping a building from falling, giant bowling balls?"
"Ooh, I hate it when giant bowling balls show up out of nowhere." Bluey shuddered. "Almost as bad as when flaming anvils rain from the sky."
"That doesn't happen." Greeney raised an eyebrow.
"Not around Metropolis, maybe."
"He's got a point." The Batman wannabe nodded. "Gotham is weird...I miss it already."
"Your challenge, Supergirl..." The princess began with that high and mighty yet genuine smile that Kara had seen on Kal so many times, and it made her queasy. She was already on the verge of leaving, and the princess wasn't helping, but the fact that she proclaimed she could be the greatest hero in the world, aka better than Kal, may have convinced her to stick around for a little while. That and Bluey acting like a crazy person was kind of funny. "Is to save the civilians-" She pointed out to a row of mannequins that the Batman wannabe was setting up. "From this mechanical monster Karen is setting up."
"Um... I don't know how this will turn out..." the small girl whimpered beside a crane. "Like I said, I can't make anything I build work."
"Uh, I can operate the crane if you want-" Bluey raised a hand.
"No need, blue-haired sister. Karen needs to build up her own confidence while we focus on Kara." The princess grinned proudly. "You understand your objective clearly?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, beat up the monster and save the day, easy enough." Kara waved off. "Just give me the countdown, and I'll beat the thing in record time."
"Ten nine eight..." The cosplayer began counting down.
"Wait, beating up the monster doesn't mean beating me up, too, right?" The tiny girl squeaked.
"I'll keep your cockpit relatively unharmed," Kara assured as she stretched.
"Seven six five..."
"Relatively!?"
"Here!" Bluey threw the tiny girl a pillow. "For when you need to abandon ship."
"Four, three, two..."
"I'm going to die here." Karen shook as the crane started up.
"One and Go!" The redhead scratched out excitedly.
Kara shot her laser vision, melting off the crane arm. She then combo'd with a bit of frost breath to freeze the treads in place. And finally, she flew into the air before coming back down to deliver an elbow drop. "Ahaha! Yeah, that's right! Who's the Supergirl? I'm the super girl! Now that's how you do hero!" It always felt nice to beat something up that didn't berate her for doing so.
"Yes, you are the girl." Diana nodded. "The girl that failed this exercise completely."
"What!?" She shouted in outrage. "But I stopped the problem! You're welcome!"
"I'm not sure 'stopping' the problem would be the right term." Purple hair muttered as she picked out a couple of bolts from her hair. "You left everything in a mess, and we were already in a dump!"
"So what? I leave some damage here and there. Big whoop, it's not like I'm going to be out there fighting guys that don't necessitate it." Seriously, why did people get so butthurt about property damage? Rich people like Lex Luthor would just pay for it, and since everyone hated him, there was no problem with it.
"It's not the damage we're worried about. It's the people who get HURT when you cause that much damage!" Jessica shouted, pointing to all the mannequins... the mannequins that were all in pieces.
"Oooooh... well… if they're normal people, they'll just run away before that happens, right?" Kara tried to justify.
"No. I've seen Superman and Flash. They usually make sure to either grab the people or the rubble because civilians are too slow to react when they're about to be crushed." Bluey spoke up.
She felt herself twitch at the comparison between her and her baby cousin. "Well... at least no one alive got hurt."
The door of the crane slowly opened as the tiny girl crawled out with a haunted look in her eye. "My life flashed before my eyes... I got so terrified it did it twice!"
"After the tenth time, you get used to it." Bluey shrugged. "And then the twentieth time, it becomes so mundane you'll barely register it."
"I don't want to get used to it!"
"I do!" The red-haired raised her hand.
"Your strength is great, Super Girl." The princess said. "But what is strength without temperament control?"
"I do NOT have a temper!"
"You also don't know the meaning of the word ironic either." The purple-haired girl snickered.
"Hey, YOU try holding back super strength so much you don't destroy your city block by sneezing wrong!" Kara shouted back. Sooo much time in the North Pole in Kal's stupid crystal clubhouse.
"Cool, can you show us!?" Barbara asked.
"Babs, that's NOT a good thing. I know this place is a literal dump, but I still need some of it intact for my job." Bluey groaned.
"You have the power, just not the patience." Diana turned back to Kara. "Clean this mess up and start all over from scratch."
"I don't do clean up." Kara scoffed.
"I wasn't asking." Diana glared.
"Oh, you want to go again-"
"Done." They turned back to Bluey… who somehow cleaned up all the scrap and metal, replacing all the mannequins with new ones. "You can restart when you're ready."
Everyone blinked in silence for a minute. "...Did anyone see him move?" Jessica asked.
"I didn't even hear his heartbeat…" Kara muttered.
"And I painted them to look more lifelike!" They turned to the redhead, who made EXACT DUPLICATES of everyone who went to school. "And they said the Gotham graffiti club at school was a bad idea. Take that mom and guidance counselor!"
"...Does this training come with a therapist?" Karen asked the Amazon.
"I am unfamiliar with the term you are using. Are you referring to a practitioner of the alchemic arts?" Diana asked.
"No, it's a term for people who help others with voices and nightmares in their skulls that never leave." Bluey nodded.
"Ahh, they exorcize evil spirits from the innocent, I understand."
"...Anyone want to back out now and make a run for it?" Zatanna whispered to them.
"If we leave now, I think Diana will chase us and probably break our spines," Jessica mumbled back.
Diana remained positive. Kara, the 'Super Girl,' remained less than receptive to her teachings, but that didn't sway the Amazon at all, not in the slightest. She was met with six sisters with extraordinary gifts not too dissimilar to her own, which was a CLEAR sign that she had made the right call to flee Themyscira in search of her own destiny as a warrior who would save the world! "Now then, Jessica, we can begin YOUR training!" She shouted to the 'Green Lantern' in front of her. "Prepare your armor for battle!"
"I told you, I'm not fighting anyone or anything." The girl in the glowing green light stubbornly shook her head. "There is always a peaceful answer to a situation."
"Aww, it reminds me of you when you tried to befriend the people that shot at us." Barbara, the Batgirl and the only one who seemed to share Diana's spirit and enthusiasm for heroism, smiled fondly as she hugged their blue-haired sister, Iruma, who had yet to be given a designated code name.
"Yeah... I hope she can keep it up." She said back. "I really want to support a goal like that. Even when I was traveling in the middle of Egypt, I had more luck befriending the people trying to rob me than beating them up."
"So you befriended them, and they left you alone?"
"Oh no, they still robbed me and left with all my stuff, but they gave me a map and a pouch of water, so it evened out." An optimist and a survivalist. It seems they'll need to work on bringing out the warrior spirit in them.
"While it is a noble goal, some enemies will not be so easy to back down." She stated. "Like Chronos, Typhon, the Harpies, some simply destroy relentlessly, refusing to listen to reason and logic."
"Like how a hyena will hunt down animals just for fun?" Iruma raised their hand.
"Exactly." Diana nodded. "Thus, Green Lantern, you must be willing to attack when necessary."
"I can handle heroism without fighting." The girl shook her head. "The point of being a hero is to protect and defend. That can all be accomplished without needing to throw a single fist."
"But what of the occasion where the only way to save someone is to throw a fist?" Diana glared intently.
"Such an occasion will not occur." Jessica grinned proudly. "I am more than capable of acting quickly to prevent it."
"Yet you were pretty quick to throw food everywhere." Kara snorted.
"That was everyone else! I tried to STOP the fight!" She argued back. "And most of that food was made out of animal byproduct, so the food that just so HAPPENED to get thrown back was for a good cause."
"..." Iruma shook weirdly for a second, a strained expression coming over their face, but otherwise said nothing.
"That will be enough squabbling." Diana clapped her hands, pushing everyone back just so slightly with the backlash of the wind before she continued. "This time, Batgirl shall be operating the crane and charging at you and everyone around her. Your job will be to protect those in need and subdue your enemy."
"Seriously, I'm licensed for operating the machinery, I can drive it-" Iruma spoke up.
"Don't take this away from me too soon, Iruma. I've been dreaming about having my own Batcrane since I was two!" She shouted, pulling up on the arm.
The lantern smiled. "As I said, I can do this peacefully."
"I don't know, this chick has crazy eyes!" Karen squealed.
"No, that's just her everyday happy face." Iruma nodded. "Her crazy eyes are MUCH scarier and more intimidating when she's armed with a burrito and a gallon of hot sauce... But yeah, Jessica, you DON'T want to underestimate Barbara when she's armed with big heavy metal."
"I can handle a peaceful conversation." Jessica continued to smile. "Go ahead, start the match."
"Oh we ain't going be talking much. Batdozer, do your thing!" Barbara cackled madly as she turned the keys, the machine, that was causing more damage with it's carbon emitting smoke alone, roared like a beast as it charged ahead.
"And... begin!" Diana shouted.
The crane began to move forward... as a green, stretchy material wrapped around every mannequin, dragging them onto a soft green mattress. They were then covered in metallic green walls, clicking with locks as chains wrapped around them, before objects protruded out of the side and shot flames downard, as the metal green crate was now flying in the air. "Secure enough that even if the crane COULD reach the civilians, which it can not, they are safe and secure."
The ingenuity was there... "AHHHHHHHHHHH!"...But not the self-awareness. "Barbara, stop that crazy thing!" Zatanna shouted as the others ran out of the way.
"Sorry, it has a mind of its own! I can't stop Batdozer!" Batgirl shouted.
"I thought you knew how to drive!?" Super Girl questioned as she grabbed the arm.
"I never said that. I just said I've dreamed of driving one!" The girl shouted back.
"You've saved a handful of civilians, yes, but in your reluctance to not fight, the monster has roamed free and caused more collateral damage elsewhere," Diana explained the folly of Green Lantern's actions. "You must strike them down and contain the threat!"
"But I shouldn't-!"
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, NOBODY CARES IF YOU PUNCH A CRANE!" Zatanna screeched as Iruma pulled her out of the way of the swinging claw.
"Barbara, pull out the keys and punch the fuel gauge!" Iruma shouted as they rolled out of the way of another strike.
"I can't!"
"Why not!?"
"Well, Kara broke the last fuel canister, so I replaced it with a prototype fuel supply for my battery! It's highly explosive!"
"WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THAT!?" Karen shrieked.
"I said it was a prototype." Batgirl shrugged as the metal monster began spinning around rapidly. "AHHHH! It's going to blow!"
"Lantern, act now!" Diana ordered.
"Alright!" Jessica screamed, looking panicked. "Maybe I can-!"
"Barbara!" Iruma jumped through the door and pushed the girl out of the machine-
KABOOOOOBOOOM
A tiny mushroom cloud overtook the area, sending out soot everywhere and forming a crater that formed through the rubble. "We're okay!" Iruma cried out, carrying Barbara in hand.
"Wow, your Super evasive crisis maneuver has really upped its game." Barbara grinned. She was immediately dropped onto the ground.
"One, don't call it that. Two, please don't make light of that." Iruma sighed. "You're lucky I smelled the combustion before it fully exploded."
"Wait, you smelt it?" Kara asked. "But how-"
"It's easier to detect when you've been raised around it most of your life," Iruma explained. "It took me a long time to figure out what Plastique smelled like.
"Now you see the necessity of combat?" Diana asked.
"I see that I should've pulled Barbara out of the crane and placed it with a safety bubble immediately after protecting the civilians," Jessica answered.
"Or you could've just smashed it and be done with it." Kara offered.
"Why didn't you do that?" Karen asked.
"It wasn't my turn." She shrugged.
"You know, until they actually figure out how to do the other half, if you're serious about the team thing, then they should be the ones paired up with each other." Iruma pointed to Jessica and Kara.
"No." Diana shook her head. "If you combine a tiger and a tiger, you have nothing but fangs and claws."
"Ahh, I guess that's a fair point." Their blue-headed sister nodded as the rest of them stared at the Amazon. "If you put two things together with the same weakness, it'll be easier to exploit." They clarified.
"You've gotten a lot better at reading metaphors." Barbara nodded
"Hunting's a pastime I had to adapt to. It just clicks with me, I guess." Iruma nodded as a flaming tire passed by. "Okay, no more cranes. That alone is going to cut into my check this week, and I'd rather not add more to the pile."
"You could always try punching her till she punches back," Kara suggested.
"Hey, she is more civilized than-" Jessica began to argue.
"What an excellent idea!" Diana grinned. "Jessica, I shall assault you with all my strength until you manage to punch me back in return."
"Wait, no-!" The girl made a shield as Diana's fist made contact. "Come on, fighting is not the answer!"
"It is here!" It seems Diana needed to beat the lessons into her… just like her own mother did. Fond memories, fond memories indeed.
Zatanna was filled with a mix of slight bemusement, confusion, disgust, and discomfort over the last few hours. A city dump was NOT her scene, or a scene for anybody decent for that matter, and the longer she stayed here, the faster she felt like her sense of smell and sanity would deteriorate into nothing. "Zatanna, now that I am done educating Jessica." The attractive but uptight and crazy Amazonian princess spoke out as Jessica Cruz, the 'green lantern' as she put it, was passed out on the ground, bruised and likely concussed. "It is your turn to improve on your weaknesses."
"Going to be hard to find any, but by all means, be my guest." She playful waved off. The idea of beating a superhero never really appealed to her, but if she was going to be forced to do so, she might as well look fabulous for the adoring crowd she'll be needing to rescue.
"Since cranes are no longer an option, you shall save the civilian from what is known as a conveyor belt of doom!" She shouted, pointing to said device that led to a crushing demise.
"Not a problem." Except for what spell to use... something that turned the machine into a cloud? That could be showy.
"And to make sure that you'll stay focused on the task at hand…" Diana picked up the blue haired boy that rang a familiar bell but for some reason she couldn't place a finger on it and marched towards the machine.
"...Ah… do we have to use live bait for this one…?" The blue-haired cutie asked with a nervous sweat as he was placed on the converter belt.
"Yes, I believe that the use of plastic replacement civilians has decreased the urgency that we desperately needed to inspire!" Diana shouted. "Thus, real flesh will inspire real urgency."
"Besides, with your reflexes, you'll get out before anything goes horribly wrong!" Barbara smiled.
"Yeah... yeah, I-"
"And to prevent such a thing!" Diana began strapping the boy down with metal bars. "Thank you, Barbara. I almost forgot to make sure the test couldn't be ruined."
A flash of horror overcame the girl's face. "… That's not what I meant-"
"And begin!" Diana pulled the leveler to make the machine move.
"Barbara, you better have a second mortgage on your house pulled out because I'm going to need double the food you promised after today!" Iruma called as he screamed and struggled.
"Diana, your-your-your exercises are getting t-too extreme!" Jessica shouted as she tried to pull herself up. "I can... I can get you out, Irum-!" And the girl passed out again before she could wave her ring.
"Don't worry, I'll have you out in a jiffy." She just needed to get the right spell ready. What did she want to do? Turn the metal into rust? Nah. Too messy. What about a sweater? Wait, no, it was too hot for that, and it would probably be as tacky as Karen's.
"Um, could you please hurry up!?"
"Just a minute... ah, yes." She could freeze the minutes on the machine, pausing it in time. That would be fun. Zee began floating in the air, gathering energy as she twirled it around, facing dramatically for the audience. "Ladies and Gentlemen, be amazed as the great, the stunning, the fantabulous-"
"The girl that clearly has no sense of timing or urgency." Kara heckled. "At least I would've smashed something by now."
"He's going to die!" Karen screamed.
"Zatanna Zatara!" She exclaimed as small fireworks exploded. "Now, for the first trick of-"
"FOR THE LOVE OF AZARATH, GET ME OFF OF HERE ALREADY!" The boy screamed, invoking the name of a mystical city in another dimension that most people shouldn't even be aware of, as Zee realized the boy was three feet away from being turned into a cube.
"And I shall be pulling a teenage boy out of my hat!" She went for old reliable as she reached down into her hat and pulled Iruma through before he could get crushed. "Tada!"
"Oooh, again again!" Barbara clapped her hands.
"How about no." Iruma glared. "Although this hat is surprisingly cozy. Pocket dimension?"
"Yes..." She nodded slowly. "... How do you know about-" Zatanna began to ask.
"Through a very annoying bastard."
"Iruma, you curse?" Barbara tilted her head.
"Only when the man who shall not be named is involved."... Zatanna wasn't sure if it was out of hate or if invoking his name would literally summon him into the world. With magic, it could be either.
"While I commend you for actually saving the one in trouble, your vanity was your downfall and nearly cost you an innocent life," Diana called out.
"Skipping over the fact that Princess put him in danger in the first place," Kara muttered.
"Hey, I am not vain!" Zee growled. "I just needed the right spell."
"Or you could've simply..." Diana turned to the lever and pushed it down. "Turned it off."
"For a princess from an island without modern advancement, she's surprisingly adept at understanding technology," Karen noted.
"Levers and pulley systems are foundational systems that existed even back in Ancient Greece." Iruma pointed out.
"Iruma... how-?" Barbara asked, looking confused.
"I was taught by a really smart gorilla. I'm a straight C average." The boy smiled... a smile that made her feel a familiar warmth she couldn't quite place a finger on.
It was really bothering her, too. She knew about Gotham and Abra Kadabra… but… what was it she was missing that stopped her from remembering that day in full? "Wait, do you mean that metaphorically like they were big and hairy-?" Karen asked.
"Yes, and also as if he was a literal gorilla." The boy spoke. "He's also the reason why I have my license to drive, fly, and operate the machines in the junkyard, though I turned down the license to kill." The license to what now?
"As- As you should..." Jessica groaned, still concussed. "I think I'm still seeing double."
"I got bandages for your head, don't worry." The blue-headed boy nodded. "Dealt with this a lot when I was living in London."
"Tell me your story!" Barbara shouted pleadingly.
"...No." Iruma smiled cheekily. "Some things are best left unanswered."
"Darn it!"
Cute face, well-mannered, mysterious backstory, and the sense of deja vu… this was ticking off a lot of boxes for Zee personally… but eating the garbage was still a really big turn-off.
Karen really wanted to flee, she REALLY wanted to fly away and be invisible, it would be the one time her 'growth' tech would be useful, because now she was surrounded by crazy people led by a crazy amazon princess that was determined to kill her through her brutal methods of 'training'! Karen didn't want to train, she wanted to get out of here and never be seen again!
"Today, Karen, you shall prove yourself against a mighty beast!" Diana exclaimed, holding a dog in her hand. "Otherwise, he shall rip apart the victim."
"So I can't eat this?" Asked Iruma, holding a steak in his own hand.
"You plan on building a fire for it?" Kara raised an eyebrow.
"Well, it would taste better cooked, but I'm not picky."
"...You eat raw meat?" Jessica gasped, horrified, likely due to being vegetarian.
"Oh yeah, there was this girl back in Gotham that wanted to kill Iruma 'cause we got her dad arrested and deported," Barbara said. "So when she sent an army of rats to rip him apart, he just ate them alive."
"...Excuse me, I have to go throw up!" Zatanna gagged as she fled somewhere to puke.
"Can I throw up too?" Karen asked, feeling even sicker than she already felt.
"You can lose your sludge of nutritional fluids later. For now, you must face your fear!" Diana called out. "I will release this tiny Cerberus, and you'll have to charge right into its face, or else Iruma will be ripped apart into shreds."
"Although THIS time, we've given him the freedom to run away." Barbara chuckled nervously. "You know, so you're not actually ripped apart into shreds and giving you more time..."
"I was serious about that second mortgage. My appetite has not changed."
"Aaand, go!" Diana shouted as she let go of the dog, the creature barking as it charged at her with really sharp teeth that would rip her apart-
"I CAN'T DO THIS!" She ran off, turning on her suit to fly out… only for the wind to knock her off balance and make her hover towards the dog's teeth. "AAHHHHHH-!"
"I got you!" The boy, who was kind of cute and really nice but also kind of scary and freaky, picked her up from the jaws of death, holding her in his hand.
"GRRRRRR." The dog growled.
"Who's got you!?" She pointed at the charging beast.
"Oh, that's nothing, watch." The boy smiled as he walked towards the dog casually before shifting his hair. And those…dazzling sharp and warm eyes from before appeared, being somewhat hypnotizing to see up close."Sit." The... really, really cute boy spoke with so much confidence as he got in front of the dog without fear, making it heel as he petted its head. "See, it's nothing to be afraid of."
"Ahh..." The only time Karen ever felt like this was when she saw dusk before dawn whenever Adrien was on the screen, and it sent her heart a flutter.
The dog made a whining noise. "No. If I can't eat the meat, you can't either." The dog pouted. "Come on, you can… oh, what am I saying? I can't deny someone hungry…" He ripped it in half. "We'll split it. Sounds fair?" The dog barks in excitement, wagging its tail. "Yeah, yeah, here you go." The meat was tossed into its mouth as it rolled on its back like it was a puppy.
"Wow, you're even better with animals." Barbara blinked. "Usually, you'd try to eat the dog if it was back in Gotham."
"I had a lot of evaluations on the value of a life while I was away." The kid said. "… Which was very particular when apparently you could hear fish screaming for mercy when eaten and not feel bad about it."
"Okay, now I need to throw up." Jessica ran away.
"The circle of life can seem cruel, but life gives onto life in many forms." Diana grinned as she patted the boy on the back. "Karen, you simply need to show the beast you have nothing to fear, and it will not attack you."
"But I don't have your super strength to make it back off, and I don't even have the scary 'talk to people or else' energy he does." She argued.
"The what now?" Iruma tilted his head in confusion.
"The-That thing you do where your eyes got sharper and your voice got deeper?" Barbara pointed out.
"How could I make my eyes sharper?" He asked. "Wouldn't sharper nails make more sense? And my voice always sounds the same… actually, it's kind of weird how mine and yours haven't really changed all that much in the last seven years."
"...Was he always like this?" Karen asked Barbara.
"Both kind of yes and kind of no." Barbra winced sadly. "He left for seven years and I've been trying to prod out the details, which you WILL bring out one day!"
"I will not." He responded. "… So do you wanna grow bigger now or...?" Iruma asked her.
"Oh... sorry, yeah, I... I guess I can resize…" Karen blushed, having gotten really comfortable in her spot in his hands.
"Yes, maybe if you face a bigger opponent while you yourself are at regular size, you'll be able to face your fears much more effectively!" Diana called out.
"...Or I can just hide in here until my time is over." Karen curled herself down into Iruma's hand.
"… Still enjoying your super team?" The boy asked the redhead.
"Yeah, it's amazing! Super powers and super training with my brand new BFFEAEAEAEs!"
"The what?" Kara asked as the other two girls came back from throwing up.
"Best friends forever and ever and ever and ever." Iruma clarified. "Been one with Barbara since I was five."
"Really, that's how old you were?" Barbara blinked. "Could've sworn you were three."
"Nope, the record said five."
"What recor-?"
"Come on, Bumblebee!" Diana shouted. "We need you to face a challenge head-on!"
"No!" She dove into Iruma's shirt pocket. Embarrassment was a small price to pay for keeping her skin on her back.
Iruma watched as Diana set up the next course. "You, Batgirl, shall carefully weave your way through the civilians with speed, precision, and grace as you rescue the cat stuck in a tree!" This whole thing… had been a mess. Even he, at his most optimistic, couldn't deny that. Being in a school full of metahumans, aliens, and smart people was one thing, but grouping them up together, most of them against their will, was another. "Do you understand?" She questioned... getting no response.
They turned to see Barbara writing in a book. "Fish, gorillas, knows Kara, knows about Green Lanterns … knows how to tame animals, a seemingly second personality-"
"Batgirl!" Diana called out.
"Sorry, got distracted, busy writing down my 'Iruma mysterious-seven-year timeline,' which I will crack by myself!"
"No, you won't," Iruma smirked.
"Debatable! Now, go time!" She ran forward.
"Wait, I didn't-"
Barbara ran past Diana... as she kicked one of the mannequins's heads off. "Take that!" And punched another in the stomach. "And that!" And threw batarangs at three more. Then she elbowed one in the face, followed by drop-kicking another, before tossing out a bunch of small bombs, which exploded as she grabbed the cat. "Saved the cat from the criminals."
"...Those were civilians." Jessica pointed to the mannequins.
"What, no, they were the bad guys, why else would they…" Barbara looked at the plastic people... the ones in everyday clothing. "...Look... ah... suspiciously normal?" She tried to justify her little mistake.
"Still think I was bad?" Kara asked with a smirk. "She did all that damage on purpose."
"Okay, we're done here." Iruma looked over the damage. "I think I could make the manager believe it was a freak earthquake that caused the damage if I clean up at least half the scraps. It won't explain any of the melted metal, though, or the smell of burning rubber everywhere."
"But we haven't tested you yet, Iruma!" Diana argued. "Your challenge-"
"No." Iruma crossed his arms. "I'm not doing this. I'm just a regular guy trying to rebuild my life. I was only bribed with food to hang out with you guys. I'm not going to go out and go into dangerous situations on purpose." At least ... not yet.
"Oh, come on, Iruma, you totally got the skills to be a superhero!" Barbara shook him. "You can dodge, you can aim, you can tame wild animals, and there's so much other stuff that I probably don't know because you won't tell me about your time away!"
"And I won't." He grinned. It wasn't for a lack of wanting to tell her … it was more about how he felt about it … the last seven years weren't completely fun to talk about. There WAS a lot of good moments … but a lot of bad moments too he'd rather forget.
"If you wish for our blue haired sister to disclose her past, I am more than willing to assist with my lasso of truth." Diana grinned as she held up her golden, and clearly magic, rope which began to glow. "All wills must submit to the truth when under its binding."
"Riiight." Kara rolled her eyes. "Cause a golden rope can force someone to say what they're thinking." Diana merely gave her a blank stare before wrapping it around her. "Hey, you can't do this!" The rope began glowing. "You are physically capable of doing this, but it is conceded socially rude to do so because some of us don't want our secrets blurted out in the open, like the fact I constantly feel guilty about staying with the Danvers because they never get mad at me for anything I do and I just feel like a worse person every time they forgive me for a mistake-!" And the thing was instantly taken off. "… Give me one good reason not to deck you into the next century."
"Your time for sparring has ceased," Diana stated simply.
"So coool!" Barbara chuckled. "So if you'd wrapped that around Iruma, he'll have to tell me where he's been the last seven years!?"
He blinked... Iruma didn't consider rope dangerous, but he did consider getting bound against his will dangerous. Plus, with how strong and fast Diana was, it probably wasn't a good idea to make this something he should fight over. Still, there was the matter of experience... "How long have you been hunting?" Iruma asked.
"My mother was ambitious and taught me at the young age of twenty how to hunt for my own food."
Given that the girl said she was three hundred, there was a large gap between her and him. Iruma would never win a fight against her... but luckily, avoiding a fight was what he was best at. "Alright, Diana, I'll make you a deal." Iruma crossed his arms. "You manage to wrap that rope around me in five minutes. I'll go through more training and officially join this team you're trying to make. But if I avoid you in all that time... Then the training stops for today, and we go get lunch."
"Very well." She nodded. "When you are ready."
"Alright, Iruma!" Barbara cheered. "You totally got this!"
"Dude, she's a three-hundred-year-old warrior princess, and he's the second smallest person here." Kara pointed out in disbelief. "He's gonna get creamed."
"Hate to agree with her, but she's gotta point." Zatanna nodded.
Iruma took in a deep breath... and began running. Okay, first thing first, he needed distance to help judge how bad of a threat Diana really was. Who knows what she could do with a shadow... like the one over him... because said warrior princess leaped clear over Iruma, landing where he was planning on running to as she tossed her rope. "You move quickly, little sister, but evil can move even quicker!"
"Believe me I already know!" He screamed out as he jumped out of the way suddenly, barely missing the rope. She was clearly able to outpace and could likely stay ahead. Out maneuvering her needed to stay the top priority.
Diana, instead of immediately chasing him, kicked a mountain of broken cars, causing them to crash down onto her. "Watch-" He tried to warn her...
Smash
Before she kicked one directly at him. "-Out!"
"The enemy will not have compassion on you, which is why you can't hesitate to strike!" She called out as Iruma ducked beneath it.
"I know, but I don't want to actively seek out an enemy either!" He shouted back as he avoided another car. "Doing that causes more problems in the long run!"
"Finally, someone gets it!" Jessica shouted.
"I thought you understood that sometimes violence is needed?" Diana questioned as she kicked another car at him.
"I won't start a fight, but I will finish one if needed," Iruma argued as he leaped above another car. He paused, noticing the fact he was both standing still yet completely safe despite the cars flying past him. "Are you even trying to hit me?" He questioned.
"No!"
"Then what are you..." Iruma trailed off, seeing that she created a ring of wreckage that severely hampered his escape options. "… Ah."
"Either face me or get bound. There is no other option." Diana grinned as she got her lasso ready.
Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap! He did not want to blab about where he'd been the last seven years or about other things he had on his mind now. Think quickly, or all your secrets are going to be out. Air would leave you a sitting duck. Underground was too slow... car windows? She threw him cars that were stuck in the ground, cars he could hide in, and hopefully, he would be forced to follow him inside! "Alright… I've done worse!" He dove right into a car as she was about to snag him, placing him inside.
"Trapping yourself in a hole is not an answer when your foe saw you enter!" She shouted, following suit as she hopped in front of the car.
Ding
Iruma suddenly got an idea… a very Harley inspired idea. "It is when that foe has no idea how a car works," Iruma responded as he pressed the car horn, balding out the alarm making Diana pause for a second.
"Agh." She winced in annoyance. "Your sirens are a distraction at best-"
Squirt
He sprayed the windshield fluid on her face next, actually making her step back. "Aggggh! What is this burning sensation in my eyes!?" If you can't beat your enemy, annoy them.
He slipped out while she was recovering, jumping into the maze of junk that was a junkyard. She wouldn't stay distracted forever, and you were surrounded by scrap metal... this was Iruma's turf. And he wasn't going to go down on his turf. Just needed to scrap together a couple of wires and a few hangers to get what he needed. Work fast, work fast because losing her eyesight was probably not going to stop Diana for long!
Shink
… Or, as the sword next to his shoulder said, a lot shorter than he thought. "Blinding your enemy is a good start, but as a warrior, it would be foolish for me not to know how to fight blind." Diana grinned as she kept her eyes on her clothes as she approached now. "Ready to surrender now?"
"Surrender..." He got his copper wiring together, hooked it up to one of the motors that were still running, and placed it right into her shoulder… "... Is death in my language."
Bzzzy
"Gaaaah!" Diana was sent back as Iruma's makeshift taser sent her stumbling back.
"Yeah, way to go, bestie!" Barbara cheered him on, and admittedly, it felt nice to hear her support him, even if she got him into this mess to begin with.
"Surprised he had enough voltage to make her feel it," Kara noted. "How much time is left?"
"One and a half minutes," Karen said.
Short time, but any time that gave Diana enough time to recover was already too much. Now focus on getting out of range so she'll run out the clock chasing you! Something to buy time, buy time...
"Enough games, Iruma! I shall now fight you with one hundred percent fury!" Diana screeched as she smashed the cars around her, creating a backlash of wind that forced him out of the ditch.
"Oh great, for a second, I thought she was going easy on me!" Iruma groaned as he looked around. What was around you that you could use!? Converter belt? Car crusher? Giant magnet "So quick question." Iruma asked as the girl approached, getting close to the machine. "How much of your armor is made out of metal?"
"My armor is blessed by the gods themselves!"
"So most of it?" He nodded as he pressed a button.
"Making simple observations like that won't help you-!"
Slam
And the giant magnet used to move the cars around landed on the Amazon. "Ahhh! You flattened her into a pancake!" Karen shrieked.
"She's fine." Iruma nodded as Diana immediately shot it off herself.
"Very clever, but it won't do you much good-" And it slammed her into the ground again.
"Magnetic force, Diana. You can't overcome it," Iruma said. "So I'm just gonna leave and-"
"Hera..." She stood up, pushing against it. "Give me..." And began pulling. "STRENGTH!"
CREEEK
… If Iruma had any illusions about keeping this job, the Amazon ripping the magnet out of the crane definitely shattered that. "And now, you shall submit-"
"And time!" Jessica called out.
"..." Diana blinked. "Very well, I shall admit defeat, and you as the superior." She kneeled before Iruma.
"Oh, ah, no need to kneel. It was just a little exercise, that's all." Iruma insisted. "You're definitely more skilled at fighting than I am."
"Oh, don't be so humble, Iruma, you kicked butt!" Barbara giggled as she shook him back and forth again. "I knew a super-skilled superhero was inside of you all along!"
"Still not a hero." He said. "Also, I won, so I'm not joining the team."
"Sure, you're not 'joining the team.'" Barbara winked at him.
"I'm not." He groaned.
"Sure. You're 'not'." Barbara winked at him again.
"Exclude winking and take my words literally. I will not be a hero."
"I will study your skills until the day comes in which I can surpass you, my sister," Diana spoke up.
"Ugh, I'm too hungry to argue about this." Iruma groaned.
"I agree with Bluey. Let's head out." Kara nodded.
"And then afterward, we're giving Diana here that much-needed makeover." Zatanna grinned as she pulled her to the side. "Like seriously, top to bottom, you need a full redesign."
"I don't see the appeal," Iruma said. Seriously, why were girls always so focused on makeup? They began walking along, and Iruma noticed that Karen was right behind him. "Are you alright?" He asked her.
"Yeah, yeah… to you... you were good... I mean, you were good... you know..." She softly spoke out. "Good job."
"Thanks." He smiled back. "I'm not much for fighting, but I do know how to survive." So many years surviving... learning... figuring out what living meant... having to rediscover it over and over… having to fight his way into actually understanding the world.
Truth be told… Iruma HAD thought about becoming a hero, a real one… one like Superman… someone who could give hope to those who lived in the slums, those who lived in poverty... Those who were homeless like him.
But the world wasn't like that... it was harsh and cruel at times when you least expected... his home... Gotham… it needed saving… but it would take something more than a hero to do it.