Shane O'Shaughnessy had a very particular way of running things. Quiet, focused, and orderly... Which is why, he loathed to watch his arch-nemesis of such standards, Barbara Gordon, walk through the door. "Hello my fellow Burrito Bucketeers! I, Barbara Gordon, have returned, as the knight of the sauces and the beans, the dark avenger of the tortillas, the defender of hunger–"
"You're five minutes late, Gordon." He cut her off. "Again."
"I... ah… had to catch up with Iruma on a few class assignment–"
"Suzuki was here ten minutes early." He pointed to the semi-tolerable employee at the desk.
"That's one double decker burrito with extra shredded cheese. Care to leave a tip?" Good work ethic but far too cheery for his taste.
"Why, aren't you a dear? Here's a twenty for your troubles." The elderly lady placed the bill in the boy's shirt pocket.
"Thank you greatly! Have a wonderful day Mrs. Garcia!" He waved as the woman walked out. "Oh, Mr. O'Shaughnessy, want me to check the stock in the back while it's slow?"
"You might have to... Gordon here's been late all week." He glared at the other employee. "You show up late and you don't even have a half-decent excuse. I'm going to have to let you go this week if this continues." She panicked.
"No, Mr. O'Shaughnessy, please don't fire me, I love this job!"
"You barely do it as it is–"
"I swear I can do it better, plus the school was demolished and repairs won't be done until the end of the week, so I can doubly commit to my job extra extra perfectly!" She shouted. "Pleeeeease!"
"… One chance." He raised a finger. "If you aren't on work during your shift again... you're fired."
"Yes!" The girl hugged him invasively. "I swear you won't regret this!"
"I already do!"
"You have such funny jokes."
"I never joke."
She ran over to grab a mop, as Suzuki stared at her. "There's six people with masks in the city, you know." Iruma said. "You can afford to not show up every now and then."
"What kind of hero–" The girl looked at Shane. "...Hero fan girl I'd be if I didn't go... to... take pictures…"
"The kind that trusts her friends to be there to stop–" The boy looked at him. "… People from taking bad pictures."
"Yeah but if I'm not there to help our friends… stop people from taking bad photos, then they could end up taking bad photos themselves!"
"Well we could always get them a higher powered camera."
"In this day in age? Do you know how hard it is to find a good camera?! You might as well tell them to sketch it on sight!"
"Then why not build them one? The parts and schematics should be online and easy enough to make."
"Hey, that's not a bad idea, I can build one right now–!"
"AHEM!" Mr. O'Shaughnessy tapped his foot.
"...now as in I'll make one for my friends after work, of course." Gordon chuckled hesitantly. God, what was wrong with this generation?
Karen looked at the multiple schematics Barbara had posted around the lunch table. "… I'm not following." Apparently this was supposed to be some kind of camera… but why they would need a camera was never explained by Barbara nor Iruma.
"Yeah." Iruma added. "I got lost in the metaphor myself."
"This is supposed to be some sort of riddle?" Diana asked as she gazed upon the blueprints. "Is it written in some sort of code? I see no words, just mathematical equations for some sort of device that blinds and traps the souls of people within tiny cylindrical devices."
Kara blankly stared at Diana, grinning as she pulled out her phone and took a photo, before showing it. "Tada."
"Deceiver! Hand over my soul this instant!" Diana tackled Kara across the table and pinned them to the ground.
"...Well who didn't see that coming." Zatanna rolled her eyes as a drip of water fell on her head. Her face pinched. "Ugh, you'd think for a budget they use to specifically rebuild the school, they'd get a lot better equipment. That's the tenth leaky pipe that's hit me today."
"Sorry, still on my lunch break." Iruma noted as he took a bite of food. "Although I am impressed they fixed up the damage Carol did so fast."
"Speaking of …" Karen started, turning to Jessica. "There's a love-powered maniac in love with Iruma that can level a city free and about?" She questioned, as that seemed to be a problem… for many… many… MANY reasons.
"Okay, so that didn't turn out as well as I had hoped... but I was able to stop the whole thing without throwing a single punch–" The girls looked at her blankly. Even Kara and Diana had stopped fighting to do so. "... I had nothing to do with the 'falling in love with Iruma' thing though, just to be clear."
"I don't think she's in love with me." Iruma said. "The message was to love herself."
"You did it while doing the voice." Jessica shot back.
"The what now?" Like usual, Iruma tilted his head, completely baffled.
"… So Barbara, what is all this then?" The lantern changed topics, completely justified in wanting to dodge the psychological issues that were opened up with that response.
"I didn't want Mr. O'Shaughnessy to overhear me and Iruma talking about going out on patrol and fighting bad guys, so I had to pretend I was just an over eager fangirl that wanted pictures of super hero fights."
"Wow, that must've been SO hard for you to pull off convincingly." Kara snickered. "Not like you're not the biggest hero nerd in the world or something."
"Your sarcasm doesn't bother me in the slightest!" She cheered. "Besides, now I can have this super advanced state of the art camera for stake outs, or anytime Batman shows up!"
"… So the camera wasn't a metaphor for building something to trust your team more so you don't ditch work?" Iruma asked.
"Oh it's still that, but it can have more than one use, just like how metaphors can have more than one meaning!"
"...Metaphors DON'T have more than one meaning." Karen corrected.
"Art's in the eye of the beholder, and so is this camera." She went on.
"I do not see how this metal chimera shall help our heroic endeavors." Diana asked. "Is it a scout?"
"It takes pictures, which for paparazzi practice, it's perfect, but heroic work, not so much." Zee shrugged. "Though I believe what Iruma was trying to say earlier was that Barbara here can't balance having a job and being a superhero at the same time."
"Yeah, that's the sum of it." Iruma nodded. "This is why I choose to not be a superhero. I can focus more on my own life without too many worries."
"Come on, when you're a superhero, there's NEVER anything to worry about."
"... Were you just asleep for the past few weeks where it was something to worry about?" Karen asked. "Isn't the fact you're about to lose your job something to worry about?"
"Pfft, I'm not worried. Mr. O'Shaughnessy is just showing some tough love because he knows just how good of an employee I am."
"No, not at all." Kara shook her head. "Dozens of people at this school worked for him and got fired."
"Speaking from past experience?" Jess asked.
"I take ONE lunch break and he's all 'you can't put ALL the meat in one burrito for yourself, Danvers', and I threw it right into his face."
"Believe me, I know it's hard to NOT do that, but I have to give myself the discipline every time I'm near the meat." Iruma shuddered. "It's perhaps the toughest job I have since I'm near so much food."
"How many jobs do you even have?" Karen asked.
"Twenty five." Iruma said.
"… Twenty five?" Kara repeated slowly.
"It would be more, but there's too many child labor laws. And I don't have a diploma; hence school."
"And you don't have super speed?" Zee asked.
"Completely human."
"And you can be everywhere at once?" Karen asked.
"Whenever I'm needed."
Barbara poked his head. "Did you become a speedster while you were gone?"
"Nah, I just learned how to walk in London. Still nowhere near as good as the bastard who shall not be named though." He shrugged. "Point is: you need to choose, Barbara-imouto. Superheroing or job?"
"Hm… or I can get Zee to clone me-!"
"Haven't read that far into my spellbook, can't be any help there, Babs." Zee stopped her. "Sorry."
"Dang it." Barbara muttered.
"Or you can trust your friends to get the job done in your absence." Diana smiled. "I do not have a job, so if you need me, I am available."
"It is the point of having a team available." Jessica nodded. "We can take care of the rest of the city while you work. Five hours for three days a week isn't the end of the world."
"Yeah there's …" Iruma paused, raising his fingers. "Six, eight, ten heroes in the city that I'm aware of, maybe more. You don't need to stop crime all the time. Plus it gives us time to catch up like we used to back in Gotham."
"Yeah… Yeah you're right!" Barbara cheered as she pulled the boy in for a hug. "Two thirds of the Gotham trio tearing it up at Burrito Bucket, our very own dynamic duo, except we're both dressed up like bats cause the bird theme does NOT make any sense especially with the bright colors."
"You wear bright colors, Babs." Zatanna pointed out.
"And I'm not dressing up like a bat." Iruma once again put his foot down on that. His watch began beeping. "Lunch break is over, back to construction." He stood up, pulling out a hammer as he walked to the rest of the workers trying to fix up the school.
"...It really shouldn't be legal for him to have so many jobs at once, especially one during school hours." Karen pointed out. "How does he even sleep?"
"Like a baby wildebeest after a long day's hunt." Diana answered.
"... Wait, how would you know that?" Zee asked.
"We are neighbors." The Amazon smiled. "How the fates love to weave their strings together."
"... And you watch him in his sleep?" Jessica asked in concern.
"Many times. Our dear sister passes out quite quickly once she rests her eyes. It might be because she spends all the energy they have surviving during the day."
Well that was concerning. "... Actually that WAS how it was back in Gotham." Barbara nodded. "And it's completely normal to watch Iruma in his sleep. I did it all the time whenever he passed out right next to the dumpster. It's like watching a cat sleep in a little box. " And that was disturbing.
"So many people at this table need help." Jess groaned.
"That's why I follow the rules of lunchtime." Kara nodded as she bit into her meatball sub. "At lunch time, nothing else exists but lunch. No homework, no chores, just lunch." Karen wishes she had the confidence to just not flinch at ignoring the world.
Pamela Isley... desired the end of humanity. The past seven years have done nothing to uplift her attitude... if anything, it only justified her desire ten fold. Man was rotten, filthy parasites that not even the biggest and strongest of weeds could siphon nutrition from. Man was a problem... an invasive species that only got worse and worse the longer they continued to exist.
She accepted that there were good people in the world, she learned to acknowledge that much... but the sheer lack of quantity compared to the black mass of rot was too astounding to ignore. It hadn't risen past two. Harley, who she learned to accept as a confidant and friend for her more darker impulses... and …
Iruma…
…Did she dare think about her first friend... the one bright bloom of light in a city of darkness? The only seedling of hope she ever grasped onto for the good qualities of man, a hope… a hope that was torn away by the greedy and violent clutches of mankind?
So much destruction and suffering caused just because of a few dollars... a boy defending himself shot at and nearly killed... it sickened her... it sickened her that the monsters involved were still alive.
Mankind needed to be reset, fixed of its flaws with few remaining lives left... but... but she'd wait. At least until graduation... she'd give the species that long. And.. she would do it.. Elsewhere. Away from Gotham, away from the slithering cesspool, that was far beyond saving. When she had told Harley her desire to move, the girl giggled and playfully suggested Metropolis. The supposed 'city of tomorrow'.
She looked around the city... it had a lot more sunshine than Gotham, and alot more green, green from plants and not acid or toxic waste. "Still... another concrete jungle." It was still a city full of humans. For human success, for human progress, all run by the greediest, most corrupt manufacture of useless products and plantlife destruction, Lex Luthor.
A man even worse than Bruce Wayne, who runs his company with open evil, with the sole excuse of getting away with it because of money. Disgusting. Revolting. In a way, this place could be worse than Gotham, because at least in Gotham, there wasn't a false sense of misplaced hope hanging above every corner. This city would be the start of her empire…
Grumble
… But first she needed something to eat. Something quick, and something she could eat without needing to pick out the vegetables, and hopefully save them if given the chance. Something that CLEARLY had meat and could eat only the meat. "... Burrito Bucket…" There were plenty of plants in mexican food... but they also had plenty of meat. Just all the meat will do, and then she could plan on how to liberate all her leafy brethren later. She reached for the door…
SLAM
Only for it to send her on her butt. "One hundred burritos soon to be delivered!" A familiar and annoying voice shouted.
"Ugh..." She rubbed her back as he looked up. "Gordon…" Not the old cop that worked with the Bat, but the younger, more irritating loud mouth daughter, the one that Harley held in high regard for some strange reason.
"Pam?" The girl blinked. "When did you-gah, no time, delivery!" She ran off.
"... Better eat before she gets back." Pamela grumbled as she walked inside. She thought her days of dealing with that little brat were over since… since…
She pushed the thought down. Just eat your lunch and get out of here. You eat, you get stronger, and then you conserve your energy to destroy. You could get through the annoying customer service for a decent meal. Just get through it and everything will be fine. "Hello, welcome to Burrito Bucket, home of the burrito Bucket, how can I take your order?"
"I'll have one..." She looked up at what she was expecting to be just another faceless peon she'd have to wipe from the face of the earth at some point.
"May I suggest the special …" The very... VERY familiar face asked, blinking in shock.
"Iruma…" Was... was it really …
"Pam?" He asked with surprise. "Did Barbara and Harley tell you I was here or was it the weird magnet school thing-"
She hugged the boy over the counter. "I... missed you!" She wanted to shout for joy, she wanted to scream to the green and above that she could touch her little Brunnera macrophylla again. "I missed you…" All that came out though was her silent enthusiasm. She wasn't the best at speaking out loud even after seven years.
"Oh…" The boy blushed as he hugged her back. "I… I didn't expect this... I... I thought you didn't like people."
"I don't... but I like you." She let out a small tear. "I missed you, Iruma... you left without saying a word."
"… I'm sorry... I would've if I could, but everything with Dagget and Mooney... I didn't know what to think or believe at the time." He sighed as he looked at her with those same beady and beautiful eyes she kept etched in her mind all these years. "I... I couldn't live with what I did... I thought I was a monster…"
"Gotham is a city full of monsters... you were never one of them." She smiled at him as she rubbed his soft skin.
"Mm... so... do you wanna get anything while you're at the front of the line or …"
"Oh, sorry, forgot where I was for a second." She blushed as she parted her hair so she could have both eyes on the boy. "One jumbo burrito please."
"Triple the meat, no veggies or beans, light cheese and skim the sour cream?" Iruma asked. "That was how you liked it last I checked."
"Aww, you remember." She flushed.
"Course I do. You were one of my first friends." He gave that innocent grin like he used to. "I could never forget you... in fact, I got something for you back when I traveled to Japan." The boy looked like he blinked out of existence for just a microsecond, before presenting in his arms...
"That's... that's the most beautiful tree I've ever seen..." She gasped in awe as she held the pink petaled beauty in her arms.
"It's a sakura tree. I grew attached to them during my stay in Japan... and I wanted you to see it for yourself." All this time... he was still thinking of her? "If you'll have him… her… I'm still confused on plant genders."
She could feel something bloom in her chest as she took it… "Thank you… you know …" Pamela looked him in the eye, smiling right at the innocent one. "Things got better after Dagget died." She reassured. "Wayne Enterprises bought the zoning rights… I don't trust that overhyped rich brat, but for the moment he's left the slums alone."
"That's good… people still have a place they can sleep in." He smiled. "And a place where plants can grow."
"Yes…" A place for her future Garden of Eden… where a new Adam and Eve could bring the world back to its natural order. "You saved it… You were the hero Gotham needed... not some nut job in a batsuit."
"No… No, I was just a scared kid." Iruma sighed. "A scared kid who crossed a line that shouldn't be crossed."
It was a line that needed to be crossed... but she could sense that he still considered all life valuable... that made him better than her… and the rest of the world didn't deserve him. "Still... I prayed to the green I'd see you again… Harley kept me company through the tougher times. She's the one human other than you I learned to like."
"Aww, you made another friend." Iruma grinned at her warmly, patting her shoulder. "I'm proud of you. I know it's hard to learn how to trust other people."
He... he was proud of her…?
Badump Badump
Those feelings she had back in the alley when she finally admitted it to herself... those weren't random or childhood misunderstandings... this was real… these were real feelings... she... She was in love with Iruma… she loved this wonderful... beautiful boy.
"Iruma... I-"
"Hey, Suzuki!" A man shouted at her Iruma. "Don't dilly dally like Gordon, get back to work!"
"On it, Mr. O'Shaughnessy!" Iruma nodded as he quickly wrapped up a burrito. "Sorry, he's my boss. Don't worry, I made sure he's not evil like Mooney was. Never making that mistake again."
"Good... call me though, if he treats you badly." Pam miffed as she grabbed her food, gently rubbing her hand.
"I will, but I haven't saved enough for a phone, so I'll have to do it by messenger pigeon if I do."
"I'll avoid eating pigeons then." She smiled, moving over to a seat. Pamela idly took a bite of her scrumptious meal as she watched Iruma greet customers and cook food... "He's just as warm and bright as I remember..." She turned to the Sakura plant he gave her. "And he took care of you so well.."
'He's very kind... and very broken …' The plant sighed. 'Took care of me even when he didn't have to... fed me water when he had little to spare for himself.'
"He's always like that… so selfless…" She gently stroked the base. "Don't worry, I'll make sure he's provided for from here on out. He'll never go hungry again." Just needed to slowly convince him of the right way …
Wait a second. Babara worked here too, Barbara talked with Harley... and Harley suggested Metropolis with a cheeky smile …
"Oh that sneaky little minx.." Pamela growled. Looks like she'd be making one last stop in Gotham to talk to Harley about full disclosure… and then… then she could finally... finally start growing her Garden of Eden.. with her perfect Adam.
"Gordon!"
"Right here, Mr. O'Shaughnessy!" Pamela felt the annoying and irritating body of Barbara Gordon push into her.
… Okay, when she razed humanity to the ground, she and Iruma were definitely debating that woman. Friend or not, some people just couldn't be left alive.
Barbara panted as she laid across the counter. "Fifteen minutes... almost time …" She realized she may have overestimated her capability to stay out of crime fighting trouble, given that she was right across the street from a bank and the twitching urge to stop bad guys took over.
"Barbara." Iruma said. "I believe you have a few friends to call?"
"But it's just across the street-"
"And you said you trusted them to take care of the situation if it came up." Iruma crossed his arms. "I know being a hero is exciting for you, but it's taking over all the free time that you have meant for other things."
"I know, I know. But, come on! It's right in front of me!" Barbara called out. "It's like when someone places three grilled steaks in front of you, you don't just ignore it, you devour it into nothing!"
"But you could live without punching people in the face, Babs."
"Could I Iruma? Could I really?"
"Yes. You're breathing, and your stomach is full. You can live."
"But my heart burns for the call of justice! It yearns for the beating of bozos and bandits alike!"
"You better be working, Gordan, and not wistfully staring across the street!" The boss shouted from the back.
"Wrapping Burritos as we speak, Mr. O'Shaughnessy!" Barbara called out as she began rushing out. Two, four, six, eight... "And the robbers are getting bags of money …"
"Barbara." Iruma tapped his foot. "You told the girls you could count on them to help out, so call them."
"Can't you-"
"I don't have a phone and carrier pigeons will take too long." He explained. "Besides, we both know you already hacked all their phone numbers by now."
"It's a blessing and a curse how well you know me by now." Even worse was how little she knew about Iruma now. "Okay, I can do this, I will call the girls right now."
"Good."
"I'm really going to do it while I stand here and do my job."
"As you should, being a responsible teenager." He nodded.
"Gonna do my job while bad guys threaten lots of people with blasters."
"Cause any of our friends can stop them."
"Because it's more convenient to ask someone else to beat criminals up than to do it myself."
"Yes, because it's what will prevent you from being fired." He nodded again.
"Yeah..." She looked out the door, seeing the robbers getting into their getaway car. "I'll just call Kara or Diana to get them."
"Sounds reasonable." He agreed. "Especially since they have super speed and can get here instantly."
"Yeah. I'll call them right now…" Barbara looked at her phone... and let it slip out of her hands. "Oh no, my hands are slippery, guess I'll head to the bathroom right now to clean them!"
"Barbara, you promised you wouldn't-!"
"Juuuuust washing my hands, no big deal." She moved quickly to the door. "Okay, this'll only take me two minutes tops, I swear." She muttered.
Yes she should've called the others, yes she was not following through on what she promised and yes she was putting her hangout time with her BFFAEAEAE at risk.. but how could she just ignore a robbery happening right in front of her!? That just wasn't her, if something was going wrong then she had to fix it!
Batgirl jumped onto the scene, throwing a batarang to knock a gun out of a crook's hand. "Stop right there you malcontent mischief maker!"
"Seriously? Isn't this like the tenth time you've come back and bailed?" The man with the horse head asked. "I've planned this robbery two months in advance and I feel like you're not taking me seriously."
"You're not worth serious, random unnamed goon!" Barbara called out as she took out the batarang. "Who robs a bank as blatantly as you do anyways?!"
"It's been working so far." The man in the panda mask shrugged. "No hero has been able to stop us so far."
"Yeah!" The guy wearing a duck hoodie shouted. "We caught the Flash!"
"What, that's impossible!" Barbara shouted. "The Flash would've ended you three in two seconds!"
"Then why is he tied up in our car now?" They pointed to... the Flash, the new one not the one from WW2, in the back of the car… tied up with rope.
"…Huh?"
"Trust me, I'm just as surprised as you are." The hero admitted.
"But you can just-never mind!" Barbara went to throw her weapon...
splat
...Only to throw a burrito in its place. "… Oh crap…" Did she put batarangs in the buckets in her hurry?
"... So we're just gonna drive away now …"
"Wait-"
Beep beep beep
She had thirty seconds! "Hold on-!" She could run back now and she her job- no then she wouldn't have enough time to catch up-maybe if she ran and emptied out all the soda machines-no Iruma was there and her boss would likely get him to do it leaving her even MORE stuck at the front desk!
"So... bye." The guy waved, getting in the car.
"No!" She had to chase after them-then she was going to lose her job— call her friends — but she really wanted to fight them— but she'd lose hang out time with Iruma— no then she'd let the bad guys get away— What was the right thing to do here-?!
Chink
Ssssssh
Their tires were cut... by batarangs. "Hey Batgirl, I think we got our orders mixed up. I have the burritos. You have the Batarangs."
"Thanks, Iru …" She paused at the new mask. "Irregular stranger." She had to hold in a chuckle.
"I'm helping you, don't laugh." The boy in a sombrero and bucket mask deadpanned. "Come on, we have ten minutes to clean THIS mess up. Luckily for you, I save my breaks until I need them." He handed her over a bucket full of Batarangs. "And believe me, it wasn't easy convincing the nine year old these weren't the toys that came with his meal."
"Right away." She grinned, grabbing them as she threw them into the bad guys' guns, knocking them away. "Beware you buffoonish bandits bumbling about with that pilfered packing of bank dough, for now you have to deal with the wrath of Batgirl and the Burrito Bucketeer-!"
"We're on a time crunch, save the speech." Iruma said as he grabbed one man's leg and bent it around the back of his head. "I'll tie them up, just start punching."
"Hahah, me and my BFFEAEAEAE, fighting side by side! Best day ever!" Barbara cheered as she backflipped and kicked another goon in the face. "It could be like this every day–"
"You mean on the verge of constantly losing our jobs because you have an addiction to fighting crime?" Iruma asked as he caught a fist in his hands. "Heck, I don't even like doing this specifically. These are hard working thieves that steal a minimum amount of money just to live. They weren't hurting anyone." And proceeded to wrap a rope around both their arms.
"Thank you! It's hard to get appreciation for my planning." The guy in the horse head nodded, as Batgirl punched him in the face.
"Okay, we're gonna have to come back to that last bit later." Not the most surprising thing out of Iruma's mouth, considering he worked for a crime boss and likely had to steal during his time away. "But I do NOT have an addiction to fighting crime."
"Batgirl, you do. You've had it since we were kids." Iruma rolled his eyes as he jumped out of a way of a knife to the back, shoving the man into a wall. "On your ninth birthday, your wish was for Clayface to attack your house so you could beat him up."
"I mean …"
"You broke a guy's arm when you were eight because you thought the shade made him look like Two Face."
"It was a very convincing look!"
"Daggett!" They both paused. "… Sorry, that went too far."
"No… no you got a point." Barbara sighed as she held a goon in a headlock. "I... I know I get carried away with wanting to be a superhero. It's just… " The rush… the adrenaline… the smile you could put on someone's face when you saved them. "I finally found something I'm good at… and I mean actually good at! I can do a double somersault across a building and have a grappling hook that actually works and only gives people concussions when I WANT to give them concussions."
"Please don't give me one." The panda begged.
"I know, it's your dream, and I'd never tell you to stop." Iruma nodded as he lassoed a guy with an eagle mask. "But you've also made a commitment to your personal life with your other job." He pointed out. "And you CAN count on the others to handle this stuff. I mean, there are tons of heroes in this city." Barbara pointed to the Flash, who was tied up in their car. "...How?"
"I literally couldn't tell you for the life of me." The red suited hero noted.
"That's why you should walk more. You get to observe your surroundings more often." He said in a rather familiar manner. "… So you're going to super speed yourself out of there …"
"Oh, right, sorry. Got caught up in your touching moment." The Flash vibrated himself out of the ropes and quickly ran around, collecting the criminals. "I can take them all to jail, you can get back to your emotional breakthrough. Laters." With a friendly wave, the supposed fattest man alive zoomed out of the area, leaving just Barbara and Iruma.
"… So many questions." She nodded. "Like how am I going to explain myself to Mr. O'Shaughnessy, cause I'm pretty sure I've been gone for more than two minutes."
"Don't worry, he thinks you're in the restaurant as we speak." Iruma nodded. "I dressed a mop like you and had it man the counter." Iruma explained. "… And frankly it's already sold more burritos than you have today." Well that was both amazing and sad.
"Second question, how do you know the Flash?"
"Secret." Iruma said cheekily from under the bucket.
"Oh come on!"
"Hey, it's his secret identity, it'd be rude to reveal it to someone else that they don't want knowing." Iruma nodded. "After all, you never told our other BFFEAEAEAE, and Jessica only knows Aqualad's because they changed right in front of her when Star Sapphire attacked."
"Wait, Jessica know's Aqualad's secret identity-?"
"We talked about it during lunch-were you that busy with the camera metaphor?" He asked.
"Kind of." Barbara shrugged with a smirk, realizing she was still talking to Iruma in a burrito bucket helmet. "...Hahaha, so this is going to be your persona from now on."
"Don't you start on that."
"I mean I know you love food but I didn't think you loved Burrito Bucket more than me. Kudos dude, embrace that spicey side."
"Seriously, Batgirl."
"Pffft, hahahaha, oh man, this whole job thing was worth it for this alone!" She cackled as she snapped a photo of them. "Burrito Buddies for life!"
"Show that to anyone and I will tell everyone I know about that time you and Harley found a makeup kit."
"I don't know, I feel like it could be worth it." Barbara chuckled.
"… I'm not covering for you again." He groaned as he walked to the restaurant.
"Okay, Iruma, we're done joking." She grinned as she took off her costume. "You are joking right?" She asked and got no answer. "Right?" Still no answer. "Right!?"
Iruma was slightly joking. Barbara was his friend and he'd do almost anything for her. Almost. He'd never kill for her, which means it was a good thing Barbara was a hero, a hero that strongly advocated against death… he couldn't even completely keep his hands clean of that given his past…
But aside from that, he'd always be there for her, for her, for Harley, for Pam, and any and every friend he's made. Like the girls at the table. "Seconds!" Iruma shouted out as he downed another bowl of ice cream.
"Seconds!" Diana also cheered.
"How do neither of them get brain freeze?" Kara asked. "I'm nearly indestructible and even I can't avoid that."
"It's more weird considering Iruma's completely human… as far as I'm aware." Jessica muttered as he and Diana had their thirtieth bowl since coming. "He is human, right?"
"Besides the dodging, everything I've seen is completely normal." Barbara nodded with a smile.
"Yep, just a normal human with skills anybody would have living in Gotham." There was the whole… thing with the lab files but it wasn't like it actually did something to him. Nope. Iruma was human through and through.
"So... there's an Aqualad, a Green Lantern, and a Flash in Metropolis." Zee noted. "Should we open a group chat or something?"
"I could ask them if you want." Iruma offered.
"Yeah, no. I already see enough of the other Green Lantern as it is." Jessica grumbled. "If we started a group chat, he'd just spam the dms with selfies and random sport metaphors that barely make sense even with context."
"Exactly." Kara nodded as she sipped a smoothie. "I'd rather keep this an all girls club. Otherwise Kal will just take all the credit."
"All girls huh?" Karen asked as she gestured towards Iruma.
"Oh Bluey barely counts. He barely acts like a normal person period, let alone a guy, and he's not a superhero."
"...Well I agree with about a third of that statement." Iruma muttered.
"I admit, a sisterhood does sound nice." Diana smiled. "Just like back on Themyscira. A group of warriors bonded for eternity, forged through battle and comradery and good memories."
"See, I told you guys making this team was a good idea." Barbara grinned as she moved her hand towards the salt shaker and napkins. "And I have a special surprise for the occasion I made with some of the money I've earned at Burrito Buckets."
"But you've only worked there for four weeks." Iruma raised an eyebrow.
"I did say SOME." Barbara grinned. "I'm great with working for a budget." And the girl twisted the shaker.
"Wait, wait, what are you doing-ahhh!" Everyone fell through the opening the chairs suddenly had as all three of them were sent down a slide beneath it.
"Danger sense is kicking in, danger sense is kicking-!" Iruma tried to shout-
Smack
Before falling face first onto the hard ground.
Smack smack crunch
Followed by the rest of the girls falling on top of him. "… Note to self, put down a mattress." Barbara muttered.
"So mind explaining to us why you put us on the drop of doom before I send you to another dimension?" Zee asked with a glare.
"And does everyone mind getting off me?" Iruma asked from underneath the girls. The quicker he was away from Kara's behind, the better his bones would be.
"Welcome, ladies and Iruma, heroes and hero to be-"
"You're not making it go any faster by constantly trying to push it." He rolled his eyes.
"To the Super Hero Girls Headquarters, name patent pending."
"Clearly, I think that's too on the nose..." Jessica looked around as everyone got up. "...But this is an impressive little place, not going to lie."
"Whoa, is this a workshop lab?!" Karen excitedly jumped for joy as she sped over to a table with a bunch of scrap metal on it.
"Yep, I tinker, you tinker, Iruma sometimes tinkers, so I figured we needed a little space to tinker!" Barbara explained with a wide grin. "Since your bumblebee suit is in the works, we'll all put our brains together to make it faster and stronger... and need less duck tape."
"Duct tape is one of life's greatest tools, never doubt it." Iruma reminded as he sniffed the air. "... is that a fully stocked fridge?"
"Yep, figured since you're always needing something, you'd need someplace to store your food, just make sure to label it-and you've already ate half of it." Barbara snickered as Iruma stuffed his face.
"So good …" He paused. "… How did you work on this while I was working construction?" Iruma asked with a surprised smile.
"You're not the only one with secret skills they've mastered after a long period of time." Barbara poked his nose.
"I feel you're teasing me about not telling you much... and I accept it." He nodded.
"You have done well securing us this tremendous fortress, Barbara." Diana smiled proudly. "You are truly a worthy member of our sisterhood of heroism!"
"Somehow that's worse than Super Hero Girls." Kara muttered.
"We're working on the name, but for now, group selfie!" Barbara held out a phone as everyone moved closer. "Everyone say cheese!"
Iruma smiled as arms wrapped around him. "Cheese!" They shouted as the picture was snapped... a happy memory... one he'd cherish forever …
"Ahh, Diana, you weren't smiling." Barbara pouted.
"I was confused by-you have stolen my soul as well!" Diana took out her sword. "I shall fight you for ownership, witch!"
"Ahhhh!" Iruma pulled Barbara out of the way as Diana began her attack. "Can someone explain to her how cameras work already!?"