Barbara could barely contain herself in her seat. A month away from Gotham was FAR too long in her taste. A month away from the best city in the world, even if Metropolis was a close fourth… Bludhaven was just as crime ridden, and Star City was decent enough in crime. And don't even get her started on Hub City… one look on the internet made her vomit. But it wasn't just the familiar sights of crime she was excited about, it wasn't just the convention for Gotham enthusiasts she was excited about, it wasn't even just seeing Harleen again after so long... It was getting to do all those things... With her BFFAEAEAE IRUMA!

"Wow, not a single hint of blue in the sky." Iruma giggled as he looked up into the sky from the bus window. "I forgot how nostalgic that would've felt."

"Yep." She took in a deep breath. "Blood in the air, pollution in our lungs, and screams around every corner… Gotham City, we're home." Back to their good old, happy memories. "...So…" She trailed off. "Iruma, you gotten into any media lately?"

"It's been varied on and off over the years. I don't own a TV or a phone, so I watch whatever I come across." Iruma shrugged.

"I see… ever see any shows in your home country?" Specifically of the tokusatsu variety.

"Hm… I did get into anime. Favorite one is Food Wars." Iruma grinned.

"It's because you like watching food, isn't it?"

"I'm a boy of simple tastes."

"All tastes." She chuckled. Not a lead. She may have taken Karen's suggestion to research the show in hopes of finding a link in Bluebell, and while she DID see the inspiration, along with that 'counting up sins' line when he first showed up, there was nothing truly notable. And it wasn't like she was expecting Iruma to know too much about it. Media had never been his strongest concern… likely due to never owning anything with a screen on it. Something she had hoped to fix when she had enough time.

Good skills, good tech, perfect efficiency… no leads. Bluebell covered his tracks far too well. No hair samples nor fingerprints. Voice was clearly filtered. Heck, he even lined his helmet with lead like Batman did after his first fight with Superman! Why didn't she think of that?! Well she did, but lead was expensive, proven by the fact Lex Luthor coated his entire building with it. Not to mention, poisonous over a long period of time… "Maybe I should work with toxin clearing gear…"

"Really?" Iruma asked. "So far, nothing has been more poisonous than Gotham air… other than that one island plant…"

"Oh, I wasn't thinking about Gotham... although that's a good point. Who knows when the next joker venom attack will strike?" Barbara's eyes lit up. "Oooh, we should totally find one of his hideouts later, see if we can sneak out a sample and develop our own anti-venom for it just in case we fight him considering we're super heroes now and we'll probably fight him eventually-"

"One, still not a superhero—"

"Not yet, Batboy." Barbara grinned.

"And two, we fought the Joker even before you became you know what." Iruma pointed out. "He's less dangerous than Ratcatcher 2."

Barbara stared wildly at her CLEARLY insane best friend. "...Wow… I... I have no idea how to respond to that other than cooing at your naivety."

"Well you don't need to. We're here." The boy smiled, standing up on the bus as they walked outside… to a bustling street filled with dirty looks and half drawn pistols. "This is Gotham… my home."

"We're home... We're both home…" She jumped on the pavement. "We're really both… home...WE'RE HOME, BABY!" She held Iruma close as they jumped up and down in excitement. "WE'RE REALLY REALLY HOME!"

"Hello black skies!" He shouted. "Hello crumbling buildings!" He exclaimed. "Hello man currently mugging me!"

"Welcome to Gotham! Give me your money or I shank ya!"

"Oh I missed you." Barbara grinned as she punched the man in the face. "You just don't get that in Metropolis."

"I know, right? You expect people to rob you and they never come. Here they do, and you know what to expect." Iruma grinned. "Life's way easier to predict this way."

"Yeah… there's only one thing that'll make it even more perfect—"

"IRUMA!" Shouted a familiar voice.

"Well, we still can't predict her." Barbara chuckled, as they both turned to the barreling form of Harleen. "Harley!"

"IRU!" She ran up to him.

Iruma waved his hands forward frantically. "Harley, wait! Too fast, too—!"

SMACK

The two of them slammed into the bus station bench. "I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE ALRIGHT!" Her other BFFAEAEAE began kissing his face. "I CAN FINALLY HUG YOU IN PERSON AND NOT JUST IN MY IMAGINATION!"

"Oh what am I, chopped liver?" Barbara asked with a teasing smirk, holding out her arms.

"GROUP HUG FOR THE GOTHAM TRIO!" And Harleen brought her into a lovely bone crushing hug. "WE'RE FINALLY BACK TOGETHER! Is this a dream!? This feels like a dream, somebody pinch me cause I don't know if I'm dreaming

"You're… pinching… meeee …" Iruma got out, his face turning into the same color as his hair.

"Oh you're still just as cute!" Harley grinned as she squeezed even harder. "You sound the same, you feel the same, you have the same cute Cowlick…" She took a sniff of his hair. "You even still smell the same way…"

"Get a room, perverts." A gothamite grunted as they walked past them.

"You get a life, bastard!" Harley called out as she let them go. "Iru, it's so lovely to have you back!"

"Again, chopped liver. The worst of foods." Barbara joked.

"Oh, don't think I'm not happy to see you, my Barbarbarabella." Harley twirled her around. "Life's been too gray in Gotham since you left, and not the fun gray we like seeing in the sky, but dull, boring gray with a side of cement and paste. I never thought I'd be happy again!" Harleen laughed. "The Gotham trio is back in business! We're going to tear this town upside down just like the old days! Oooh, we could rob a grocery store!"

"Or we can sneak into one of Bane's old hideouts!" Barbara suggested

"Or we can dive into the pie batter at a local bakery!"

"Or we can analyze blood samples off the ground!"

"Orrr…" Iruma raised his hand. "We can start walking through Gotham to get to the convention before it gets too crowded."

"Oh right!" Harleen nodded. "The villain convention!"

"You mean the hero convention!"

"It's called the Convention of Gotham enthusiasts for a reason." Iruma chuckled. "Oh, I've missed this."

"Say, Iru, is the Joker better than Batman?"

"No, Batman's way better than the Joker, tell her Iruma!"

"I think…" Iruma chuckled. "I can spot more crime scenes than either of you before we get there!" He grinned as he started running.

The two blinked, looking at each other… before running after him. "You're on!" Just like old times… times Barbara would protect.

Harley panted as she reached the door. "Thirty seven!" She exclaimed with glee. "I counted thirty seven, I win!"

"Nuh uh! I countered thirty EIGHT, that means I win!" Babsy grinned.

"Actually I countered an even forty, so I win." Iruma… her Iruma, her precious little bro Iru… grinned with a cheeky smile. He was back... he was back and not just a voice in her head! He was talking outside of her head and actually there in person! "I have officially become the Gotham game pro."

"Oooh, well well well, looks like our little Iru thinks he's a big boy now." Harleen teased as she and Babsy giggled together. "All confident in himself."

"Yeah, so confident, and so… UNPREPARED!" Barbara tackled the boy as she began tickling him just like they used to.

"NO! NOT AGAIN! I DIDN'T TRAIN TO ESCAPE TICKLE TORTURE!" He cried out, laughing uncontrollably.

"There is no escape, this is just your life now, ENDLESS SUFFERING!" Harley cackled as she joined in. "Feel the love Iru, feel seven years worth of love we never got to give you!"

"Too much love! HAHAHAHAHA! I can't breathe!" He screamed.

"I'll let you out if you tell me where you were for the last seven years!" Babsy offered.

"NEVER!"

"Then the tickles will never end!" Harleen cackled as she went for the armpits.

"No, no, no-Okay, I'll tell you ONE place I lived in for a year. Just stop. Stop, please. Stop, you're going to make me pee!" They pulled back, letting little Iru breathe. "You're ruthless …"

"Only because we WOVE you." Harley grinned. "Now tell us, spill the beans, tell big sis Harley everything."

"I said I would tell you ONE place I lived in." Iru rolled his eyes. "...I lived in Africa in a city full of sentient and psychic gorillas for a whole year who taught me most of my basic education and helped me gain all my licenses."

"...Did he make that up?" Barbara asked.

"Better question, COULD he make it up?" Harley countered.

"Well, he DID say he got proposed to and denied it …"

"Wait, Iru got hitched!?" Harley shrieked. "Little Iru, mazel tov! I knew you'd make a little lady happy someday!"

"I was just proposed to. I turned her down because I was just fourteen and not ready to make that kind of commitment." Iru explained.

"You're fourteen?" Harley tilted her head. "Could've sworn you were like twelve at least."

"Fifteen now actually. Birthday's in October."

"Wait… WE CAN ACTUALLY CELEBRATE YOU BIRTHDAY NOW!?" Barbara shook their shared bro. "WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT EARLIER!?"

"You…didn't… ask!" He got out from the shaking, trying to get rid of the vibrations. "You just kept asking 'where have you been' over and over again."

"That was implied!"

"Nah, I think Iru's got a point. He's never been good with details." Harley grinned. "Now let's try a new question… what do you know about your birth family?" She tried.

"My biological mother and father can fade away for all I care." He responded bitterly, getting both of their eyes to widen. "...I have a nice sister though."

"...YOU WHAT!?"

"Honestly, you two are going to give me early deafness by the time I'm twenty." Iru rubbed his ears with a good natured smile.

"You have a sister!?"

"Yes, and she took care of me for three of the seven years I was gone." He explained. "But don't ask me to bring you to her; she's doing her own internship across the world, but I do send her messages on falcons every once in a while. They can travel farther than pigeons when I need them to go overseas."

"I need to thank that gal." Harley noted.

"Anyway, enough about me." Iru shook his head. "What's new with Gotham since I left? Barbara's been weirdly quiet on that front."

"I wanted to wait until we were all together." Babsy grinned. "You remember Cobblepot right?" She asked.

"Yeah, without him, I wouldn't have been able to make it out of the city."

"Get this, the loon now owns the Mooney's NightClub. He renamed it the 'Iceberg Lounge'." Harley nodded. "He goes by the alias 'the Penguin' now."

"Really?" Iruma asked. "He was just the umbrella guy last I remember… whatever happened to Solomon Grundy? He was nice enough."

"He died on a sunday." Harley groaned.

"Then he was born on a monday." Babs finished.

"Riiiight. Just learned he was a zombie… are they alive or dead?" Iru asked. "Never got a clarification."

"Weird mix of both. Gets a new personality every time he 'dies'." Harleen explained. "Last I heard, he was the standard roid rage monster that wanted to fight people indiscriminately."

"Shame, I knew him as a nice guy I could talk to while smuggling cocaine to other gangsters."

"Hahaha. I missed those jokes, Iru!" She cackled, hugging the boy. "...I missed you …"

"...I missed you too, Harley." He hugged her back. "There wasn't a day that went by where I didn't think about you both… keeping those happy memories with me were what kept me going."

"Aww." She ruffled his hair as they walked inside. "Ooooh, the steamroller of the Joker." The one he used to bulldoze the mayor into a squishy paste… good times.. Good times..

"Oddly enough, I think that's one of the few practical devices he's ever used." Iruma chuckled.

"Ooooh, an empty shell of the Bat credit card." Babsy looked over one. "They said this was once used by Batman himself in emergencies that needed money."

"A bat credit card?" Iru looked it over. "He actually had a bat credit card?"

"A BAT CREDIT CARD!?" Some bald guy in a suit, white shirt, and red tie was being carried off as security dragged him away. "ANAAAAAAHGGH I'LL KILL YOU I'LL KILL YOU I'LL KILL YOU...!"

"...What's that guy's problem?" Iru asked.

"No idea." Harley shrugged, turning. "Ooooh, footage from the controversial Adam West reenactment of Batman's fight with the Joker!"

"Wait, is this the part with the-?"

"Yep, shark repellent."

"YESS!" Barbara ogled at the screen. "I love shark repellent!"

"It's a lot more useful than it sounds." Iruma nodded. "I have twenty shark bites on my back that confirm just as much."

"Ooooh, they have the giant penny Two Face tried to kill Batman with!" Barbara exclaimed.

"Wait… doesn't Batman usually keep this stuff in the Batcave?" Iruma asked.

"Yeah, but about five years ago, he made a deal to display the fancy stuff for charity." Harley grinned as she saw one of the Joker's old squirter guns. "Weapons, rides, gags, giggles, all of its right here!" And for the taking for any aspiring future criminal masterminds.

"In fact, Batman himself is showing up!" Babsy exclaimed, pointing to a paper without looking at it. "As seen by this presentation."

Iru looked it over. "Attention, Batman called off on the account of Mister Mind taking over Superman's brain, Robin will be taking his place."

"What, ROBIN!?" Barbara shouted in outrage. "No, no, no, no! I was promised Batman! I wanted to meet Batman in person!"

"You've met Batman in person before … like… several times." Iru pointed out. "Mostly when we went out in the night and got in trouble."

"Yeah, but I've never had a one-on-one conversation with him! This was my one chance!" Babsy wabsy pouted.

"Hey, Robin's a nice guy from what I remember, so maybe—"

Iru was shoved out of the way by a very RUDE person in spandex. "Out of the way, get out of my way… stupid freaking convention… razzle frazem.." The kid, who couldn't have been much older than any of them, grumbled. "Leaving me alone while he fights an alien demigod… freaking dumb…"

"Yeah, Nice isn't exactly on the Boy Wonder's itinerary these days." Harley groaned. He was right up there with the most annoying people in Gotham list she had going on. Only under the Batgirl, who got in her way EVERY TIME … at least until she moved away to Metropolis for some mysterious reason. Weird, very weird. "This one cracks more backs than he does jokes."

"Why do I feel like I know that guy…" Iruma muttered, staring at Robin.

"The first Robin moved to Bludhaven and changed his name to Nightwing." Babs rolled her eyes. "And apparently Batman was holding auditions for a sidekick role that I didn't know about because then this bozo just showed up a few months later!"

"Oh, I don't mean that." Iru said. "I mean, I know this guy…" He rubbed his chin. "Which is weird, it's usually not that hard to figure out masked people… well, barring Batman. All he has is a chin I can't place...oh well." Iru shrugged, turning to Babsy. "So were you going to ask him your questions?"

"I mean… he's not exactly a question asking guy…"

"Lady, shove one more camera in my face, I will shove it where the sun don't shine!"

"Ugh, seriously, why did Batman choose this kid?" Babsy groaned. "He's the worst! Bad tempered, bad mouthed, he doesn't even do as much circus trick flips as the last Robin! At least he had style!"

"I know right?" Harley asked. "I'm surprised that Mr. J didn't drag the boy into an alley and teach him a lesson already." Maybe somethin' with a crowbar…

"Come on. I'm sure he isn't THAT bad. If he's a hero that walks out in daylight, then he has to have some good qualities to him." Iru nodded. "I can go talk to him."

"You sure, Iruma?" Babsy asked. "He seems kind of prickly."

"So did Kara, but we learned to get along with her." He pointed out.

"Babsy, why didn't you tell me you met some new friends?" She asked with faux disappointment. "Were you ashamed of lil ol' me?"

"Of course not, Leany-Beany, I just got caught in finally bringing Iruma home that it kind of slipped my mind." Barbara grinned. "It was kind of spontaneous too, but we managed to make things work. And we even got a bunch new superheroes in town too, so the city is ALMOST as cool as Gotham... Almost."

"That's a big claim Babsy Wabsy." Harleen grinned. "I might have to run over to your neck of the woods and see what it's all about."

"Maybe you should."

"Maybe I should do it soon."

"Maybe you could do it right now?"

"Maybe I should tie you and Iruma up and keep you in my closet so you'll never leave me again."

"Hahahaha, funny joke!"

"Hahah, who's joking?" She already stole the chain, she just needed a big enough closet.

"I'll eat through the chain." Iru smiled brightly at her. "My teeth are stronger than last time."

"Your challenge will be accepted!" She cackled. Oh … so much fun to be had.

"Alright, gonna go try to talk to the Robin now." Iruma nodded as he approached the dumb wonder.

"Five bucks says he gets yelled at." Harley spoke.

"I mean, just because it's true doesn't mean it'll happen." Babsy spoke. "After all, Batman did send him here, so there has to be some bedside manner to him."

"I told you to stop shovin' that camera in my face!" Robin shouted, grabbing a gal's camera and throwing it into a wall.

"...So what if he's better off being in a ditch? That doesn't make him a bad person per say..." Babsy winced. "I mean sure, one or two punches to the head wouldn't hurt him.."

"Maybe he deserves a whack across the head with a mallet." Harley cackled. It seems like Harley Quinn needed to make an appearance today.

"'It'll be a social test' he said. 'A way to reach the common man' he said. I call bullshit, Batman." Jason grumbled to himself. How the hell did he get stuck in a loud ass convention surrounded by people he didn't want to talk to in a circus outfit?

Well maybe it had something to do with the fact he tried to steal the tires off the Batmobile five years ago. But in Jason's defense... it was a car in the middle of an alley, and tires sold for good cash on the streets. Unfortunately, he didn't account for the military grade bolts on it, so he wasted two hours just trying to get the one tire off.

Which of course, led the Batman himself descending down on to him. Jason first thought it was just going to end up with another trip to the police cell he broke out of before.

But to his shock, and disbelief... apparently Batman was lonely. No shock given the whole 'lone dark knight' thing he had going for himself. Apparently, the former Boy Wonder had decided to fly the co-op solo, leaving a spot open for a sidekick role.

At first, Jason's instinct was to say 'fuck off' and rob the Batcave of whatever wasn't nailed down... But Alfred and his cooking was a GOOD motivator to stick around. Also apparently Batman was Bruce freaking Wayne, so it was an instant upgrade to living in the streets.

The Robin lifestyle was easy enough at first. Sure, the smarter villains were always tricky, but Jason lived on the streets long enough to knock out a gaggle of goons. Flipping across rooftops was a bitch to learn; apparently the last Robin was a freaking trapeze artist. At least it explained the fucking color scheme. Bright red and yellow? Soon as Jason could he was getting something darker… although the red admittedly WAS nice. Maybe a full face mask too cause wearing a freaking domino mask was not going to fool anybody. It was only by the fact Jason had no friends to connect with that people didn't recognize him... then again, he was a street kid that people barely paid attention to anyways.

"Um, excuse me?" Jason groaned, turning to… a mop of blue hair … "If you don't mind, my friend's a fan of Batman and wanted to ask some questions."

Jason may have forgotten a lot of faces over the years, but people with hair colors as alien as that only came about every once in a while. Especially when people with said weird color pound his head in over a freakin' burger. "Yeah, I kind of do mind actually." Jason growled, doing his best to ignore this guy. Bruce was already on his ass enough about beating the shit out of goons, last thing he needed to hear was 'the Boy Wonder' wailing some random homeless japanese kid.

"...But isn't the reason why you're here to answer questions?"

"No, the reason why I'm here is because Batman stuck me with the job of being a walking cardboard cut out while he helps Superman fight a magic worm." He groaned.

"Ah… so a modeling job." The boy nodded.

"What? No, that's not it at all!" Jason yelled.

"You're just here to stand around and look nice for everyone else and get paid for that, right?" The kid tilted his head.

"...Damn it..." Jason grumbled. "Look, just make it quick, I'm stuck in this place for the next two hours and I want this done fast."

He nodded. "Barbara! Over here!" The kid waved over to Barbara Gordon, the daughter of Commissioner Gordon. He was a good man, one that Jason learned overtime to accept, always funny to do the disappearing trick with. His replacement… Ellen Yindel… was a LOT more difficult to deal with. In fact, he was pretty sure she was shouting at the mayor this very moment for not letting her bring police into a potential Batman appearance.

"Oh sweet, this is nice! Well, not as nice as talking to Batman cause well who can compete with talking to Batman but talking to his partner in crime metaphorically speaking of course is a nice second choice considering well you work right next to Batman and working right next to Batman is like the greatest honor EVER—"

"Oh holy motor mouths of death…" Jason almost forgot that the redhead that day he met the homeless Japanese kid was Barbara Gordon… the girl that didn't know when to SHUT UP.

"Right right, question." The girl pulled out a long list. "Okay okay okay … Batman, I mean Robin. When investigating a crime, a good detective will uncover dozens, if not hundreds, of facts. What techniques do you employ to differentiate the incidental from the most illuminating?"

… Jason had no idea how to respond to that. He was a brawler through and through, Bruce was the detective. "I find the guy has the most blood on his hands and beat the answers out of him." Which, according to the batcomputer, had a sixty percent success rate, which was more than half, which meant he was right.

"Oh …" A disappointed look overtook the girl's face, before she shook it off. "Another question then … um …" She flipped through some papers. "Okay, what martial arts techniques do you recommend for beginners following in your footsteps?"

"Street fighting." Jason deadpanned. "Martial arts always follow easy to ready and pre done movements that follow an honor code. No criminal has honor. And it's less predictable, and if I say so myself, less waste of time."

"...But martial arts are cool..."

"Yeah, well, do you want cool or do you want effective?" Jason rolled his eyes. It would be even better if Bruce let him have a gun with rubber bullets, but nooooo, guns 'were a coward's weapon for the superstitious criminal element of the city'.

"Oh…" The girl's enthusiasm seemed to die even faster as she went through her list. "Uh… what weapons do you find to be the most effective and how often to you maintain daily maintenance and repair-"

"Most effective weapon is a fist. Batarangs are a dumb idea in my opinion." So much time learning about the right angles. "A good second is bashing someone's head in with a grappling hook."

"I mean, he's not wrong about that second part." The japanese kid nodded turning to the girl … who looked downright depressed now.

"I'll … just be going now." Great of course, Jason made another kid his age upset. Just another pattern for-shadow descending.

"MOVE!" He shoved them both out of the way … as a mallet overtook his original standing position.

"Well well well. Seems like SOMEBODY needs to relearn how to make people smile!" Spoke the most Joker obsessed woman in Gotham.

"Harley Quinn!?" Barbara shouted.

"You two get out of the way." Jason cracked his knuckles.

"Yeah, this is between me and the bird brain!" The clown rushed after him, swinging that oversized mallet.

"At least I know I have one!" He swept out her legs, making the villain trip.

"Oooh, so you do know jokes. How about a pie gag!?" He leapt out as she threw a pie at him.

BOOM

And blew up the wall. "I hear they're explosive! HAHAHAHAHA!" She cackled, rushing back at him.

The EX-commissioner's daughter grabbed onto the asian boy. "Come on Iruma, we have to get out of here and find Harleen!"

"...You're kidding right?" The blue haired kid raised an eyebrow.

"Why would I be kidding about trying to get our BFFEAEAEA to safety and away from this psychotic clown!?"

"...You REALLY can't see it? Didn't you say her name was Harley Quinn or-"

"It's a fancy way of saying Harlequin, little blue bean!" The clown cackled as she took out a banana and bashed it into the kid's face, covering him in the yellow slime. "Now if you excuse me, there's a bird I need to kill with two stones!"

"It's two birds with one stone, genius!" Jason growled.

"Oh really, cause I count one bird boy, and two BOMBS in my hand I'm choosing to call stones!" He avoided said bombs. Okay, he needed to close the distance on this bomb throwing maniac now. He yanked out his grappling hook, firing it off into the bitch's face.

"Jokes on you, I'm immune to grappling hook concussions!" She cackled, grabbing the line as she swung him around.

"Oh yeah, are you immune to cleats!?" Jason growled as he kicked her in the chest, sending her in the direction of a couple of costumes for sale.

"No, just like you're not immune to wind up teeth!" The wannabe clown cackled as she unleashed the chattering toys on him.

Shink

Which were all struck down with yellow batarangs. "Not today, Quinn." Batgirl …

"Bratgirl!? What the heck are you doing here!?" The wannabe clown shouted. "Could have sworn you were out of my hair once you ditched this town for some girlfriends!"

"I'm wherever I'm needed, especially when it comes to contemporaneous conniving clowns just like you, Harley Quinn!" The wannabe Batman shouted as she grappled him out of the way. "You'll be safe behind me, Robin!"

"Hey hey hey, I can take care of myself against one second rate clown!" He growled.

"And last I checked you were losing to said second rate clown." The girl spoke up. "Forgive me for not having that much confidence in your already abysmal fighting skills."

"Abysmal!? Who are you to talk abysmal with your shoddy looking batarangs!? It's like you made them out of garbage!"

"Well at least I can actually use a batarang!"

"At least I have training!" He shot back.

"At least I can leap over a roof!" She screamed.

"Can you defuse this bomb?" The squeaky voice of Quinn cackled.

"Yes I can-" The cosplayer stopped, as they both looked at the old cartoony bomb placed in her hand with a lit fuse and everything. "Gahhhhh!" She shook it all over the place trying to blow it out.. only for it to reignite. "Gah! Trick birthday candles, why!?"

"Hahahaha!" The crazy clown flipped out of the way as Jason kicked the bomb in her direction. "Oh boy."

BOOM

"You have this handled?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Oh anyone could throw a bomb into a villain, don't get on your high horse." Batgirl glared. "I can still catch and apprehend her faster than you can!"

"Oh I'd love to see you try." Jason grumbled.

"It's on!" She ran and tackled the dazed villain. "Today's the day I arrest you, Quinn!"

"No, todays the day I shove you and the little birdie into the grind for a pot pie!" The clown grinned as she kicked the girl off of her, and flipped to the top of a starlight. "Of course, I'm gonna need a bigger hammer to pound the both of ya into paste."

"You mean paste other than the goop that makes up your brain." Jason rushed over to head off the clown. A wannabe joker goon was something he was not going to be losing to, especially not to be shown up by a wannabe Batman.

"Oh come on, how does the boy blunder have better quips than my own arch nemesis?" The clown asked as she smacked her hammer in the air. "It ain't fair, I tell ya. Life is just one insultin' joke."

"Oh I have WAY better quips than this guy!" Batgirl shouted, throwing more batarang that the clown back away. "Like Batter's up!" She grabbed a nearby bat and threw it at the clown's head.

"You know one of the rules of fighting criminals is to not actually indulge their insanity and delusions of grandeur right?" He asked the cosplayer. "Keep it up and the clown will think she's worth something compared to any gangster with a baseball bat."

"Oh, says the second ever bird boy that can't even fly as high as the first one, let alone jump!" The clown cackled, smacking his back with a rubber chicken across his head, one that felt like it was full of sand. "You're more like a dodo, small, fragile, and most likely to die from your own stupidity! And you can't even talk to kids without making 'em cry!"

"I'm not in the business to make kids happy, I'm here to crack skulls like yours!"

"Whoa, seriously? Batman canNOT be approving that in any case." Batgirl glared.

"Oh don't agree with the girl trying to murder us!" He shouted back. "And last I checked, the job description was to make criminals too scared to fight back."

"I dunno." Responded an almost feminine distorted voice as a black figure in a suit descended from the ceiling. A large black fedora covered their head, almost covering them entirely. "You'll have to tell me …" And pulled out a gun. "Is this scary?"

Bang

Pain. Pain and blood flooded Robin as he was sent into a wall, red spewing from his chest with … wait, this felt more like a bruise … and there was WAY too much red to be his blood … unless it was an artery … Jason tried lifting his hand, but found the red substance was too sticky for that. "I believe that put the fear of death into the boy, wouldn't you, Ms. Quinn?" The man in a suit asked, spinning over to the villain.

"Not that I don't appreciate the help, but who the heck are you, short dark and creepy?"

"I'm no one special." Spoke the masked figure in a suit with a soft, digitized voice, tilting up their hat to reveal white slitted contacts on a black… demonic mask. "I'm just … Human."

"Bad name for a weird villain, so that's just double the reason to take you down!" Batgirl launched herself at him … the figure in the suit merely stepped to the side and struck her right in the back, sending her straight into the ground.

"Slow." They commented, firing off a few more of those red bullets that splattered into a sticky substance at the girl.

"Gaaah! I've been hit, I'm paralyzed for life, I'm...only slightly sore?"

"It's amazing how much a paintball with the right pigment can make someone think they've been shot." The figure chuckled. "Especially with a large splatter and a bit of pain."

"Funny, I was going to say the same thing about you!" Jason broke free and rushed in, going in for a kick, which the figure dodge again by simply dodging to the side, before sending a strike into his neck. "Fight back you freaking coward!"

"...No." The figure shot him in the legs.

"Gahh!" It might've been a paintball, but it still hurt like hell! "How about you get off your butt and do something!" He shouted.

"I … can't get out!" She exclaimed. "It's not paint! It's hardening too fast!"

"Right, I might've been simplifying things when I said it was paint. My bad." The figure cackled.

"Nice, now they're ripe for the picking." Harley Quinn picked up a hammer and began swimming it. "Nighty Nighty, Boy Blunder! Hope Batsy loves his sidekicks mashed with a side of butte-"

Bang bang bang

Only for three bullets to land onto the clown, solidifying her. "Hey, I thought you were on my side here!?"

"Sorry for the deception Ms. Quinn, humiliating dear Robin was just a side mission on my way here, seemed like fun." The guy cackled, yanking away her hammer. "I'm here to rob this place blind."

"Wait what!?"

"Gear and weapons from all of Batman's rogue's gallery on display, it's a miracle none of this has been stolen sooner. I'm getting a jump start on it before anyone else gets the same idea." The figure sounded like they were grinning even wider behind that creepy masked smile. "And with all the threats trapped and Batman away … toodloo."

"Get back here you asshole and take your beating like a man!" Jason shouted.

"...No." The figure spoke simply again. "You're down and I have nothing to prove. There's no benefit and beating you black and blue … Heh, that rhymed."

"Who do you think you are!?" Batgirl shouted.

"I already told you… I'm only Human." The figure threw down a puff of smoke … and in an instant, disappeared.

"... So …" The clown started. "I Spy anyone?"

"...I hate you both." Jason grumbled. "How long is this crap going to last?"

"Dunno …" Batgirl grumbled. "I would get a sample if my arms were free. Can anyone help us out here?"

"Oooh, cool roleplay." One of the cosplayers passed by.

"... I fucking hate my life." Most days he wished Bruce sent him to a jail cell instead of adopting him.

Oswald Copplepot was no meager man. On the surface, he didn't seem like much. He was short, thin, gangly, his nose was a size two big and he walked with a permanent limp. But once you met him behind closed doors and in the dark … cross him and you'd find the tip of his umbrella shooting right through your stomach.

Course, he wouldn't go THAT far. Unlike most criminals, Oswald prided himself on owning a commodity very, very few villains had … sanity. Sure, people like Falcone and the Bertinelli's weren't exactly headcases for Arkham, but they couldn't exactly be classified as villains either. They were gangsters and mob bosses … they held power but they didn't have that edge… something that Oswald Copplepot, the Penguin, had in spades.

He was infamous enough to have costumed villains in his employ, and powerful enough for even the Goddamn Batman himself to let one or two crimes slide on the side in exchange for information. All his years of working under the thumb of Fish Mooney had paid off…

Speaking of, the old bag hadn't been seen in a while. Penguin at first personally attested to killing her … but when you couldn't find a body, then the chances of death were lower. Besides … he owed her that much. She was the one who raised him after all, in a manner of speaking. The only reason he got as far as he did, learning everything he could from that woman …

"Boss." One of his goons spoke up. "Your meal is ready. Sushi with fried chicken and rice."

"Excellent." One of the best parts of being the boss, he got first dibs on the best foods in town, and not the second rate crap they sold to the masses that wouldn't even be suitable as prison food. And to think this was all made possible after 'anonymously' leaking tips about Daggett's illegal planning.

He raised his fork to take a bite …

Crash

Only for the vents to collapse … as a weirdo in a suit landed within the room. "So, you keep your vents dirty on purpose so people don't crawl through them, or is it a lazy thing?" Multiple guns were pulled onto the man. "Testy, testy, aren't we?"

"I don't know, you broke into my place of business, destroyed my vents and almost ruined my dinner." Penguin glared as he twirled his umbrella.

"My dearest apologies. As a token of my sorrow, allow me to make it up to you." The short man spoke overdramatically, reaching into their coat …

Thunk

And dropping a familiar weapon onto his desk. "Would Mr. Fries' ice gun do the trick?"

"...Where did you get that?" Oswald asked skeptically.

"At the Gotham convention of Gotham enthusiasts. The only protection there was Batgirl and Robin, so it was fairly easy to sneak them out."

"...And you're just… giving one of the most powerful weaposn in Gotham to me?"

"Correction, this is to make up for the damages." They waved off. "I'm offering you the entire stock of weapons. From Scarecrow's gas to Riddler's shock rubix cube."

"Uh huh…" This already reeked of a trap. "And what's stopping my men from shooting you down right now and taking your supply?"

"The fact that you think I'm carrying an entire stock of weaponry without a vehicle is a bit ridiculous, don't you think?" They tilted their head. "I'm not stupid enough to walk in with it all."

"True, but you are stupid enough to barge into a room full of men with guns. I don't have to kill you, but I can still maim and torture you for the location of said weapons."

They let out a digital groan. "It seems like we're doing this the hard way then." They stomped on the ground, as the room was covered in smoke. Years of dealing with Batman told him that the noises he was hearing were his men getting creamed...

BANG BANG BANG BANG

..and…shot at. "Well this definitely isn't one of the Dark Knight's infiltration plans." The Batman would never allow the use of guns.

"No, not at all." When the smoke finally cleared, the room was covered with unconscious goons and bloodied corpses …

"Ooooh …" Correction, paint covered corpses if the guy with a headshot was whining in pain.

"So can we discuss terms now, or should I just leave and try someone else?" The man asked casually. "I'm good either way."

"Sorry about that, force of habit. I like knowing the full extent of who I'm dealing with." The Penguin nodded as he took the cold gun into his hands. "So, what's your charging price?"

"Normally I'd charge a hefty fee … but I'm willing to offer a discount price." The crazy loon said. "Call it an old debt being paid back. One million, up front in cash."

"Discount, eh?" He asked sarcastically with an eyeroll, but signaled for the only man remaining to go ahead and grab the cash. "So how are we doing this?"

The loon pulled out a pair of keys. "These go to the Joker's steamroller. I'll drop it now, and once the money's in my possession, tell you where it's parked. You'll find all the wears inside." They spoke, tossing it over.

"Uh huh... And what am I to call my new mysterious benefactor?"

"I don't need a fancy name… I'm only Human." The figure cackled.

"I somehow doubt that." Oswald raised an eyebrow. "Gotta say, it takes a lot of guts… or stupidity, to try and walk into my base of operation unannounced. I could've fed you to my pet crocodile if I had been in the mood." Waylon was much more workable than Grundy… mostly on the fact that Waylon knew how to freaking SPELL.

"When you grow up in Gotham, you either get guts or the ability to hide away." They shrugged. "Hiding didn't get me anywhere, so I stepped out."

"Gotham kid, huh?" Oswald looked up and down. "Well you'll definitely fit in with one of the freaks, that's for sure."

"A wise friend once told me Gotham was the city of monsters… I'm just a different type of monster."

"Different from the mass murdering maniacs?" He asked, sliding over the case.

"The only thing I want for Gotham... is for the people to live their lives… and the only way to do that is for people like you to run the streets… for now." The guy took it up. "The abandoned lot on avenue three is where you'll find your loot. Now then, good day." With a bow, the loon jumped up into the vents, crawling out.

"...Freak." Penguin rolled his eyes. Oddly enough, this was one of his more peaceful negotiations. "Croc, come here, I got a job for you!"

"Yeah yeah, hold your feathers, Penguin, I'm finishing dinner." The crocodile man grunted as he slurped down a bucket of chum. "Whataya want this time …" They looked at the room. "... I would ask who the mass murderer was if I actually smelt blood."

"Long story that only slightly relates to your next job." He tossed the man the key. "Head to the lot on avenue 3. There should be a steamroller of weapons waiting there. Bring them back."

"Got it." The man nodded without question, sniffing the air. "...Weird. Thought I smelled something familiar for a second." Familiar eh … something to take note of for later.

Iruma shot at his friends, stole, and negotiated with a crime lord, making a million bucks in cold, hard, cash. And what might one do with a large amount of money created from such a scheme? … "Anyone not receive a blanket!?" He shouted out to the people on the streets.

"I could use an extra one for my feet!" An old lady called out.

"Not a problem, here you go." He kindly offered. "Alright, is anyone still hungry? I have plenty to give out.

"Um … I already had a bowl." A little girl said hopefully. "Is it possible to save it for later …"

"Sure. Here's a cooler." He handed her the little blue box. "And make sure to follow these instructions to heat it back up over the fire, alright?" He slipped a paper too. "No one deserves to eat soup cold."

That's right … spend it all on the people in the slums. Seven years away from Gotham ... and he never forgot where he came from. The alley he lived in, the newspapers that warmed him… or the people who knew what it was like to go days, weeks even, without food. No matter where he was in the world, he could never forget that … even when he was offered paradise in Atlantis.

But the place gave him time to think … to contemplate about all he's learned, all he's experienced, all his desires and goals coalescing … and Iruma finally made his choice. He would help everyone. Bluebell could stop villains that went too far and beat people up for no reason other than ego and sadism.

But Human … Human could get the money from those that were never going to use it to survive or help others … he could get dirty and ruthless as he stole and traded, getting funds … so he could give them out into donations for the homeless.

Yes … Iruma was both a hero ... and a villain. And both sides would work to make the world better for people like him, like the people who couldn't live a day without going hungry. And he kept both sides a secret from his friends because … well … because trying to explain it felt like it would've been too much trouble… and if today's incident at the convention was anything to go by, he'd end up fighting Barbara and Harley constantly.

Although how could they be arch nemeses and NOT know each other's identities? That just seemed stupid and ridiculous on so many levels. Were they just blind? He understood it was rude to say something, but it was … weird. Heck, Harley barely changed her name, how did Babs NOT connect the dots… hell, Bab's told them over and over again how much she wanted to be Batgirl, all the signs were THERE-

"IRUMA!" Said girl came running at him ... At him at the speed he couldn't dodge for some reason.

"Wait wait wait-!"

Crash

"Ow …" He groaned as he got smashed into the wall. "At least-"

"IRU!" And now Harley was rushing to the both of them.

"WAIT WAIT WAIT-!"

CRASH

And now they got smashed THROUGH the brick wall. "Hello concussion my old friend …" He groaned.

"Iru, where the heck did you go!? It's like you vanished into thin air at the convention!" Harley yelled as she squeezed him tightly around the ribs.

"Barbara told me to split up to help find you when Robin started fighting." IE, Iruma went to go find Harley while Batgirl went to go fight … Harley. "I... got lost in the crowd trying to find you." Aka, he walked in and out of the convention undetected in order to get into costume. Slipping through the shadows was as easy as eating cake. Tatsu's strict regiment made sure of that. "And then when the crowd pushed me outside, I realized I was close to Crime Alley, and ... I took a stroll …you know, feeling nostalgic." Iruma told the two with a small smile. "Hard to believe we spent half of my childhood here."

"Yep … all that time out in the streets …" Harley noted nostalgically. "Looked down that alley for a month expecting to see your grinnin' face … always disappointed …" She hugged him tightly. "I know you're headin' back to Metropolis … but promise you'll never leave without sayin' anything, alright?" She pleaded quietly.

"I promise." Going to be hard too, but to keep Harley happy... He would do it. "So, I've noticed the park is still intact. We can head down there and roast squirrels and rats just like the old days, ooh, maybe if we're lucky, we'll get a possum too."

"Now we're talkin'!" She shouted. "You in Babsy wabsy? It could be a cheer up for how badly the con went."

"Actually I think it went pretty well all things considered … this is the first time in seven years we got to spend a whole day together." Barbara grinned as she hugged them close. "The Gotham trio is back, baby, and we'll never be apart again! Now let's find an abandoned grocery cart and ride our way to the park in style!"

"YEAH!" They cheered. Human and Bluebell could take on the important things in his life. Iruma Suzuki? He would live it up and have fun with his friends. Just had to make sure the two didn't kill or arrest each other. Too bad there was a rule about never telling other people identities. If they knew they were friends it would be so much easier.