Zack knocked at the door of the small clinic and slowly pushed the door open. "Hello?", he called into the dim room. "Just a second!", he heard Aerith respond from behind a dirty curtain with faded floral pattern. He let himself into the waiting area, where a counter was set up and the walls were lined with chairs, some of which were occupied with people giving him stares. He scratched his head as he sat down, embarrassed about himself just calling into the room, not noticing that there were people there. He glanced over the waiting people, one of whom was visibly injured, and the others being a mother and daughter. The slums were a dangerous place, not just because of hoodlums looking for a quick gil, but also because monsters could appear anytime under the plate, and because the way buildings were typically constructed in the slums was far from safe. Although people were often armed and trained to handle the smaller critters showing up around the slums, travel between the populated centers was still risky, and scavenging around the trash piles could still pit collectors against creatures they could not handle.
Helpful as he was, he offered to the injured man immediately: "Do you want me to cure you?" The man stared at him with hollow eyes and responded with a weak voice: "Are you a doctor?" Zack shook his head. "No, I'm a SOLDIER. We use materia to heal injuries." He had no idea how people in the slums survived without materia. He could not possibly cure every single injury, but since he was here already, he did not like to watch this man suffer in pain. "Mommy, what is materia?", the little girl wanted to know from her mother. "It's magic, dear!", the mother responded, patting the girl's head softly. "Oh, magic!" The man's eyes lit up on hearing that. "I guess the doctor will be available soon, but go ahead and entertain me", the man continued. Zack sighed and, having enough confidence not to be discouraged by the man's ignorance, readied his curaga materia and cast the spell over the man's bloody arm. Before his eyes, he was ingulfed into a rainbow sparkle and the edges of the deep cut on the man's arm moved toward each other until they joined together in the middle and the skin closed, leaving behind a faint scar where the wound had been. The man raised his arm to his eyes in astonishment. Cure magic seemed very much like a miracle when used on sufficiently bad injuries. The girl was looking up at Zack with big eyes. "Can I do magic, too?", she called out with joy.
He did not quite know how to respond, because using magic was not that easy and required a lot of practice for people who had not undergone the treatments a SOLDIER went through. And as he was wondering how to gently encourage her, the curtain behind him slid aside with a whoosh. Zack looked around to find Aerith stepping into the waiting area, wearing a loose, light yellow dress. She waved at him and called: "Hi Zack!" Zack waved back at her and said softly: "Hello, sweetheart!" Before either of them could say anything more, the little girl yelled at Zack again, more pushy this time: "Can I do magic, too? Please teach me!" Aerith walked over, picked up the girl and asked: "What did he do?" The girl pointed at the man, who showed her his arm and explained: "He cured my arm! The wound is simply gone." Zack scratched his head. "Don't overdo it. Magic heals only superficially. Your arm might still hurt for a few days." The man stood up and laughed as he walked out, which led Zack to believe that he would be back in the clinic in a day or two, because even magic could not do miracles.
"Sorry for taking your client away", Zack apologized after the man had left. But Aerith only shook her head as she sat the girl down on the now free seat and responded: "Most people who come in don't really pay anyway, so it doesn't matter". Zack's questioning glance was met with: "The people here don't really have any money. The clinic is funded by donations." She sounded so sad as she said it that Zack took her hand and squeezed it lightly in an attempt to cheer her up. She shook her head in response. "It doesn't matter. We're just doing our best to keep everyone healthy." She gave Zack a smile that looked forced and said: "I'm done for today. The nurse can handle the rest by herself. Do you want to go anywhere?" She pulled him along, out of the door before he could say anything.
"Did you have lunch yet?", he asked, realizing that perhaps he should not have gone to the cafeteria and have lunch with Aerith instead. She shook her head and said: "I almost never eat lunch. I don't really have time on most days." He sighed as he caught up with her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Is there a place to eat nearby?" She responded in kind by wrapping her arm around his waist and pulled him along.
It looked quite hard to walk this way, but I could imagine it was nice to bounce around holding each other like this. Watching them like this made me feel a certain kind of longing, because we never did that, obviously. Not only did we try to keep our relationship a secret, but Sephiroth always tried to remain as low-key as possible whenever he went out. And drawing the attention of random bystanders by walking around hugging each other like this was something he would always try to avoid. We used to always go out with Genesis, the three of us together, and whenever we did, we visited the bars and clubs in Sector 8. Naturally, Sephiroth, with his imposing stature and long silver hair, drew a lot of attention. The first time we were actually allowed to go out at night, several years after we first became SOLDIERs – I believe we were around sixteen – he was brigaded by teenage girls, who had seen him on TV. Genesis was jealous because Sephiroth got all the attention, while Sephiroth tried to get out of the situation as quickly as he could and refused to go out again after that. Having grown up very secluded and sheltered when he was not made to go out on the battlefield, being surrounded by strangers made him very uncomfortable. Genesis laughed at him and went out anyway. This was the first time he broke curfew, and he would continue to do that quite a lot from then on. The sad thing about it was that he claimed it was more fun without Sephiroth there because he got all the attention of girls when he was by himself. Naturally, Sephiroth did not care much for the attention of girls or Genesis' opinion about him, but Genesis had a new "girlfriend" every other week or so, and he never let us hear the end of it. Somehow, whenever I went out with Genesis, it was mostly older women who tried to hit on me. I was not interested in that at all, but I tried to be patient about it, even though they simply would not leave me alone whenever I sat somewhere by myself because Genesis had run off somewhere. It was not really fun to go out just with Genesis because all he did was hit on girls, drink and talk nonsense. One time, he actually told a group of girls that he was a 454-year-old vampire. I have no idea why he would say such a thing. I think he was just drunk and in a mood to crack weird jokes. It was the time of his life where he started going for this kind of aesthetic by dressing all in black with ruffles and fishnet sleeves, and wearing skull-inspired accessories. He thought it was cool to pretend to be an immortal that fed off the life force of young women. The girls loved it, but, at least judging from his reaction when he saw his birth year listed as "[µ]-εyλ 1540" in the updated profile published by his fanclub, he did not actually expect them to believe that story. He was just kind of drunk and going with the flow and thought it was cool at the time.
It was very difficult to get Sephiroth to join us again after the first experience he had casually going out into the general public. But, eventually, I managed to convince him to cover his hair, wear something inconspicuous and do something really mundane outside. We simply went to a nearby department store within Sector 3, and after he managed to stay out for over an hour and return to the SOLDIER quarters without being swarmed by people, he was finally convinced to go to a bar with us on a weekday, when it was not quite as busy as it would have been on a Saturday. That went relatively well. Sephiroth was left in relative peace, although he still drew somewhat curious looks by people, because you just do not see a very handsome, very tall and muscular man with a black shawl wrapped around his hair every day. But Genesis took it upon himself to draw all the attention to himself with his antics, and that made Sephiroth more open to going out and pleasing me with his presence.
This happened a long time before we got together, but I believe that I was already lying to myself then, when I said I wanted him to be together with us simply because we were a trio of friends, and there really was something missing when he was not there. With Genesis busy hitting on girls, we were left mostly to ourselves – and even the older ladies left me alone when I was with my friend. We had all the time in the world to talk and steal a glance or another. I did not realize it at first, but I think the gil finally dropped when he slipped back into my mind for the first time at night after an evening out while I was touching myself. Of course, it was not he who did anything. It was I who imagined what it would be like, and I was deeply ashamed of myself after the fact.
"Can I ask you something?", Aerith interrupted my thoughts over the modest lunch she was eating. "Of course", Zack returned after putting down the cup he was drinking coffee from. It appeared as if Aerith had gotten used to accepting things from Zack, because this time she did not protest against him buying her lunch, while he was only drinking coffee. She swallowed the bite she was eating and asked: "That spell you used earlier, could I do that, too?" Zack scratched his head. "It takes a lot of practice to use materia." She picked up a few more pieces with her fork. "Can I try it?" Zack shrugged. "Sure, why not?" Zack did not know, obviously, that Aerith was exceptionally gifted in the art of magic. Remembering that she was not like other people, in many ways, I suddenly felt embarrassed for letting my thoughts wander to where they went. I could only hope that Aerith could not pick up my feelings as clearly as she did when we were in the church. Zack pulled out his phone, pressed a few buttons, scrolled for a little bit, and then a small green materia appeared in his hand.
She studied it with her big eyes that were just as green as the shining sphere before her, almost as if she had never seen materia in her life. As Zack held it out to her, she slowly reached for it, hesitating just before she touched it. "It's not going to explode when I touch it, is it?", she asked doubtfully. Her question made Zack laugh out heartily, as if he could not believe how anyone could think that. She furrowed her brows and folded her arms, apparently offended by his reaction. His laugh died down, and, having realized that it was a serious question, he explained: "Erm, I think if you compress materia too much, it can explode, but I've never actually seen that happening. It doesn't do anything when you touch it. Here!" He held it out to her and she finally took it. She lifted it up to her face to study it more closely and called out: "It's so beautiful!" Zack nodded. "Just like you!" One may find his devotion to Aerith cringeworthy, but I personally feel that too few people really show their loved ones enough how they feel about them. As a SOLDIER, who may or may not return from his next deployment, he lived his life to the fullest so he could die without regrets and rest assured that Aerith would always remember being loved by him. It was beautiful, but it also made me a little sad thinking about Sephiroth, who now had to live without my love. But was it truly better to never have been loved than to be left alone without your lover, knowing that they loved you? I hoped that someday he would think fondly of me again, and perhaps that would be the day I would finally be free of my guilt and return to the planet where I belonged.
"Strange", Aerith said. "I thought holding materia would feel quite different." Zack supported his chin on the palm of his hand and asked: "Why did you think it would feel like anything?" Aerith passed the materia back and forth between her hands before she replied: "Materia is compressed mako energy, isn't it?" When Zack nodded, she continued: "And isn't mako energy is the life force of the planet?" Zack shrugged. "I dunno. Aren't you overthinking this a little?" Of course, I was familiar with the theory Aerith was referring to, ever since Genesis made us read "The Study of Planet Life" with him. This book, heavily frowned upon by the company, explained the origin of mako energy as the life force of the creatures and plants living on the planet, and proposed that this "spiritual energy", as the anonymous author called it, cycled back and forth between life and death, returning to the planet after its life had faded, in order to rejoin with its collective consciousness, which, itself, was the life of the planet. I did not put that much actual meaning into it, believing that the book was not meant to be taken literally. I thought it was all just a metaphor for the human mind, as in a memory of a person remaining in one's head, even after the person is gone. But here I was, watching my friends from the afterlife, no longer in any position to deny the Theory of Planet Life.
"You wanna try it?", Zack interrupted my thoughts, and Aerith nodded. "How does it work?" She had finished her meal, so Zack stood up and offered his hand. "Let's go someplace quiet, so it'll be easier for you to focus."