Tales of TCoC: Mercy Cain.
Musings over Mercy's Offerings.
Inside the Palace of Pleasure surrounded by Their other six domains. Slaanesh - the Prince of Pleasure, She-Who-Thirsts, The Great Enemy, The Great Serpent, and thousands of other Horrid Titles - sat on Their favorite seat, musing about the queerest - and yet paradoxically ordinary - offering They had received as of yet.
Water.
A simple - yet equally perplexing - glass of ordinary water.
Sure, They had received offerings of beverages before. But typically exotic and/or rare blends of liquids that inebriated the drinker, or overstimulated the senses. It was what was expected of those who follow the path of Excess and Pleasure.
Yet, for all offerings and sacrifices that They have been provided for Milenia. This was the first time someone had offered Them a regular glass of potable water.
Baffling offering aside, the offeror was too, quite the curious little thing.
A Half-Eldar Half-Human Hybrid child, an Elduan, who had recently been created by some sort of cloning accident/misunderstanding, that They were pretty sure that Fool Cegorach had something to do with.
Still, A new species! A combination that was thought - by mortals - to be impossible. And this Elduan, descendant from the Eldar, decided to make an offering to THEM - the Bane and Archenemy of the Eldari species - all on her very own.
How humorously quaint!
As all sacrifices that managed to catch Their attention, They were prepared to listen and maybe even bestow blessings and power for such a novel tribute. And yet…
The Elduan Child had asked for nothing in return.
A tribute towards Them, One of the Four, capable of granting all of what a Mortal Soul desires, and still, no reward was asked for such a unique offering.
Even those cultists in the dominion of the Beloved Mortal of Their newest and freshly amusing Daemon Prince, Emeli - Ciaphas Cain and His Cainite Protectorate, They recalled - that worshiped Them in Their aspect of Joy, would ask for something in return. Sure, it was mostly banal stuff like continued preservation and stability of their Joyful lives under their Beloved Liberator, but they were still seeking a reward for their worship of Them.
But this Elduan, this Mercy Cain - of course she just happened to be an Issue of Cain - sought no reward. At least not something They could grant. Instead, Mercy wanted nothing but the peace of mind of having repaid Them for Their "hard work" and for helping to ease Their "Burden of Thirst".
That was… unexpectedly thoughtful.
No one before had freely offered Them anything for the sake of Their own wellbeing.
It was…Nice.
Cute, even.
It was Cute.
Mercy Cain was Cute.
Excessively Cute.
As amusing and novel as all of it was, They decided that, despite not asking for it, Mercy Cain shall receive at least some of Their Favor, with no Strings Attached. It was the least They could do. As Humans once were fond to say: "kindness is repaid with kindness."
And as to not waste said Kindness, She-Who-Thirsts, took the Freely Offered glass of water from Mercy and took a small sip.
It might've been a second, it might've been an eternity, but Slaanesh was no longer inside Their Palance in Their Dominions in the Warp, instead she was in a beautiful meadow near a crystalline lake, which calmness made it look like a perfect mirror to the beautiful sunny and clear skies above. And in the meadow sitting among the colorful flowers, was a Perfect Princess bearing an Ethereal Beauty that put those of Isha to shame, playing a soulful melody with a string instrument, whose name has been forgotten by mortals everywhere.
The Prince of Joy, basked in the glory of such a serene scene, until They found Themselves back in their Realm. So surprised They were by the sudden influx of emotions that They couldn't help but shed a Single Tear.
That… had been… some good water.
They contemplated in silence what They just experienced when They realized that Their pull for all Eldar Souls had slipped.
That had been queer, so very unlike Them.
Correcting Their momentary slip, They started to pull back again. Thanks to the Warp that short lived respite would've lasted but a fraction of a second in the Materium. Those long-eared frakups probably wouldn't even notice.
[-]
The Eldar did in fact notice that for less than a fraction of a second, the pull upon their Souls had stopped, only to return as always.
There was much speculation of what this strange phenomenon could mean. Some thought it was vindication that their chosen path for Salvation was the correct one and the Gods sent them a message to maintain their current course of actions.
Others thought that it was just a Trick from She-Who-Thirsts. An insidious deceit to lower the Eldar's guard on their souls, only to pull back and steal from those who had fallen for her Trickery.
Then there were those who remained quiet, and offered no speculation for fear of spreading panic. The Archenemy would never willingly stop Her eradication of the Eldari Souls, not even for a "Trick".
No.
For She-Who-Thirsts to even pause her unending Thirst was for something to forcefully draw Her attention away from them. Just what sort of cataclysmic event could have happened that would make The Archenemy deem it more important of Her attention than those of their coveted souls?
Did something happen in the Sea of Souls? Did one of the Other Three gain a monumental advantage over the others in the so-called Great Game?
Whatever the case may be, it was clear that the Galaxy would never be the same.
[-]
At the very center of the Brass Citadel, Khorne sat upon his Throne, vexed by an offering he just received. Normally, any offering towards him would've gone to the rivers of blood and travel all the way down to end up in the Lake of Slaughter, or just be added to his collection of Skulls for his Throne. But this latest tribute to him went to neither.
It looked like a Skull, but it was not a Skull, since it was not made of bone. No, it only had the appearance of a Skull, shaped by the offeror in an attempt to gain his favor. Fool! For this farcical attempt at deception, he would smited them where they stood!
Except…
This was not an attempt at Trickery, nor Mockery.
This had been a genuine, yet naive, attempt at a Tribute.
Looking at the Offeror, Khorne realized it had come from an Eldar Child. No, wait, a Half Eldar? An Elduan. How Bizarre.
While every act of violence that made blood spill on the battlefield gave him power, whether committed by his followers or by their enemies, it was unheard of for a member of the Knife-Ears to make a willing Tribute towards him. Though it had happened before. Khorne could almost count with his fingers the amount of times an Eldar had pledged themselves to him in order to escape that brat Slaanesh. Which was a shame it didn't happen more often, because he wouldn't have minded if those of the Biel-Tan Craftworld were to join as his mortal followers.
But that's besides the point, the important thing was the Tribute Khorne had just received.
For what he could gather, this Tribute was the result of the Elduan Child's ignorance of Chaos Worship. She had first made an offering to Slaanesh, and now in an attempt to be "fair" and not "forget them", she then made an offer to both him and Tzeentch as well. And coming from someone from that weird "Protectorate" - from which strange forms of worship came their way- only Nurgle was offered nothing.
So the Elduan Child, Mercy Cain - as she preferred to be called -, had carved the form of a Human Skull out of a hardened Christilized Carbohydrate, meant to taste Sweet. And while he appreciated Skull Iconography, this was not the type of offering he regarded highly. If it had been made of Crystallized Blood, then maybe it could get a pass, but he would still regard it as a waste of time that could've been better spent fighting or training for future fighting.
But that wasn't the worst part. The worst was the fact that the Skull was varnished with Plant Sap, which according to the Child's logic, it was the "Plants' Equivalent of Blood".
First of all, no.
Just no.
While he could follow the flawed logic, it was still wrong!
Seriously, was the phrase "Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Throne!" THAT hard to comprehend?
While Woo-Woo Types like the Slutty Brat would find it "cute", Khorne himself found it repulsive.
Worship of Khorne was about Violence and Konflict - (With a K of Khorne, because it was more menacing that way). About the Challenge of Kombat to see who was Strongest. His followers were never "cute" nor "naive", they were Strong! They were Wrathful! They were Hard! ("Oh my!") - Dammit Slaanesh, not what he meant!
Where was he? Oh right. What to do with this "offering". His first thought was to just throw it away, but he refrained from that instinct solely by the fact that he was not a wasteful slob like that Obese Nurgle. But he couldn't just put it with the rest of the skulls nor in the rivers of blood. While it'll be like a grain of sand compared to the enormity of a galaxy, it would still feel like a taint towards the "purity" of his holdings.
What to do? What to do?
Then he noticed.
An army of Slaanesh forces came into his domain to attack! But why?! While attacks towards one another were normal, it was the Great Game of Chaos after all, to be so brazenly attacked by Slaanesh of all people was confounding.
What was the brat after?
Then he heard it.
The forces of Slaanesh kept shouting the same thing over and over again as they clashed with his own army.
"For the Crystal Skull! Fight for the Crystal Skull!"
The Crystal Skull? Did they mean this!?
Khorne looked down at the now named Crystal Skull that Mercy Cain had offered him. He knew that Slaanesh had recently given some more of Their favor towards the Protectorate, and to Mercy Cain specifically after receiving an offering from the Elduan Child. And now that he had received an offering from the same Child, Slaanesh had deemed it necessary to send an army to retrieve it for themselves.
Truly, Slaanesh embodied Excessive Obsession.
Well, it seems that Mercy Cain's Tribute was useful after all.
Khorne placed the Crystal Skull on the armrest of his BrassThrone. Where it would remain within his reach, so no one could steal it without some proper and honorable Mortal Kombat.
Mercy Cain Tribute brought Violence and War upon his Realm, and made Slaanesh focus on fighting a war the proper way, instead of focusing on self-indulgence and debauchery.
Well, wasn't that "Nice" of her. He might send his favor her way whenever she had the need to smite some army or two.
But that was for later. Now it was time for Blood to flow!
[-]
Inside the Hidden Library - containing every single scrap of knowledge, every thought of every creature across space and time- laying at the center of the Impossible Fortress, within the Maze of Tzeentch, The Changer of Ways, the Lord of Sorcery, the Great Conspirator, the Architect of Fate, and more recently the God of Hope, focused on an unexpected development.
Not to say that he stopped any of his schemes and plots at the moment, those still developed and changed as always, but were "running" in the background as he pored over an amusing gift from an interesting source.
Mercy Cain, a member of a newly created (by accident) species he was sure had existed before; or had that been retconned from existence?
Didn't matter.
What mattered was the implications of the "offering" he just received from the Elduan Child. He was aware that Mercy had already given his Cohorts in Chaos (except Nurgle) offerings too, and they all resulted in strange and new results that had changed the landscape of the Great Game.
And now it was his turn to find out what Mercy has given him.
Sure, he already knew what the gift was, but at the same time he had no idea. How did that work? Well, he could answer, but that would involve an explanation of quantum superposition, that while interesting, would distract from Mercy's gift.
So he opened his gift, only to find a pouch containing something inside.
Ooo! How exciting! A surprise inside another surprise! How thoughtful of her!
Opening the Pouch, he recovered the contents inside onto the palm of his hand, and once he realized what he got, Tzeentch chuckled.
Oh, blessed be the mind of a Child, for they come up with ideas that defy any sort of so-called "common sense".
As expected of the offspring of Ciaphas Cain.
Coins! But not just any coins, but Nine of the different denominations of the currency that was used on the Cainite Protectorate at large. Money, she had given him money, or more specifically, Change.
She had given him Change.
While he allowed a lot of free-rangeness in the ways his followers could worship him and give him tribute - he refused to follow the rigidity of worship his Cohorts demanded - this was certainly unique. After all, why would a Chaos God have a need for money?
But despite the pointlessness of Mercy's offering, it didn't mean it was worthless. Because it had given him an idea, and those for the Changer of Ways, were truly precious.
Pocketing the Change away, Tzeentch continued to plot and scheme, and while doing so decided that whatever plans and goals Mercy Cain wanted to achieve, she would never lack Hope for achieving them.
[-]
Cegorach laughed.
It seems that his latest joke on his favorite straight man, Ciaphas Cain, was bearing even more fruit than expected. Who knew that messing around with Malicia's cloning attempt for a child would cause the Great Game to change the way it did! Truly she was a Child of Cain!
Speaking of which, it looks like she was disappointed with the lack of information regarding the Eldar Gods from her Mother. Well, who was he to deny something so simple for someone who had brought so much laughter into this grimdark galaxy.
Sending out one of his Harlequins to deliver her sought-after knowledge, Cegorach couldn't help but chuckle when wondering what sort of laughs Mercy Cain will bring out next.
Well, people seemed interested in a Slaanesh POV from my latest Omake, so here I am to deliver. And not only Slaanesh, but Khorne and Tzeentch as well.*
Hopefully it is to your liking and that I did the Crack Chaos Gods justice.
Also the term Elduan to refer to a Half Human / Half Eldar hybrid, was taken from Ciaphas Cain: Daemon of the Imperium by The Plauge Dragon and Chainsword83.
Though they use Eluan instead. I added a D because I felt it sounded better. Still, credit goes to them. And if you haven't read their story, what are you waiting for! It's really good crack content.
*I wanted to add a Nurgle POV, but I decided to delete it because I doubt SB's Mods would allow it.
Just one piece of dialogue survived.
"You truly are f*cking disgusting." said Isha with a look towards her captor filled with pure and utter revulsion on her otherwise beautiful face.