~:.:~ DRACOCOR ~:.:~ DRAGONHEART ~:.:~
Awkward.
Harry had returned to his room to write Remus, soon as he came to his landing he could hear it. Malfoy's choking sobs. He continued to his room anyway, but instead of the letter he had intended to write he sat upon his bed listening. Malfoy's sobs came out in a stutter. He was clearly trying his hardest to hold them back, but they force their way from his mouth, choking him as he attempted to swallow them.
Harry wasn't sure what to do. Did he dare to try to comfort Malfoy? Malfoy wasn't the type to cry so easily, let alone these wracking sobs he could hear stifled through the wall. The other boy probably wouldn't appreciate Harry's presence. He resigned himself to leaving Malfoy alone. He didn't want to, it felt heartless, but Malfoy wouldn't accept him anyway, and it felt horribly strange to reach out to Malfoy in a compassionate manner. Ron was right, as he'd ascertained earlier, you can't just flip a switch.
So here he was, sitting stone-still in his room, listening to Malfoy's apparent misery.
~:.:~ DRACOCOR ~:.:~ DRAGONHEART ~:.:~
Draco sat up. When had he succumbed to slumber? It didn't matter. Looking out the window he could see it was night. Darkness coated the Weasley yard, and crickets were all that could be heard. He cast a quick glance to his watch, one forty-three in the morning. He ran a hand over his eyes and down his face, trying to wipe off the tired, the stiffness. A long stretch shifted his body, pulling his muscles in the most satisfying way.
'Food.' He thought. Severus was beyond cruel in his lecturings, but he also wasn't wrong. Draco needed to take care of himself if he was going to help his mother and teach his father a long-needed lesson. Draco made his way gracefully to the door. He tiptoed down the stairs, desperate to not rouse anyone.
Within minutes he was rifling through the fridge, shoving random things in his mouth. A grape here, ooh, that was juicy, a slice of ham, salty and delicious, a scoop of yogurt, very creamy. He was completely possessed by the food; he knew he was behaving extraordinarily rude and possibly quite gross, but he couldn't seem to stop. That is, until he felt someone watching him.
"Oh bloody hell," he groaned. Of course it was Potter.
"Don't mind me, Malfoy," Potter threw out casually, a twisted smile trying to contain his snickers.
Draco hesitated briefly before deciding he didn't care that Potter was there. He did, however, stop his wild rummaging, opting instead to grab a few items and a plate to hold them. He took the plate to the table, stepping around Potter, and sat himself down.
Potter, bless the fool, kept standing there, his shoulders occasionally twitching with his barely restrained amusement.
Admittedly, Draco was mildly embarrassed to be caught behaving in such a way, but he'd be damned if he let Potter see that.
A chair scraped along the floor as Potter sat himself beside Draco. Draco paused momentarily, giving him side-eye, then continued eating with an irritated shake of his head. Potter, to his credit, stayed silent as Draco finished his meal. Soon as he was done though, that was a different story.
~:.:~ DRACOCOR ~:.:~ DRAGONHEART ~:.:~
"So," Harry started. "Finally decided to come and eat? Or have you been sneaking down here every night?"
Malfoy snorted indignantly as his only response.
Harry noticed Malfoy's leg started bouncing slightly under the table, the only indication that Malfoy was uneasy. He wondered if he should leave it, but then he thought, they'd all left it before and Malfoy ended up sick and needing medical intervention from Snape.
"Why did you starve yourself?"
An agitated scoff exploded from Malfoy's pale lips.
"It wasn't intentional, Potter" his voice was like a whip. "I was… Studying" Malfoy said, faltering a tad. Harry wasn't dumb, Malfoy wasn't studying, the way he stumbled mid sentence was only too obvious.
"Studying?" Harry queried, "studying what, and with what?"
Malfoy averted his eyes, he was quite tense, his shoulders hitched a bit.
"Just…" He started slowly, "wandless magic."
Harry didn't expect that response. Maybe he was studying then, but the way said it felt suspicious, like there was more to it than that.
"You must be seventeen already then," he said.
Malfoy made a face before responding.
"Yeah, at the beginning of the summer." He sounded confused.
"Oh, yeah. Me too, I just turned seventeen yesterday."
"Cool." Malfoy's response was short and exaggerated.
"Well, forgive me for trying to have a conversation," Harry sniped. This was annoying, Harry was annoyed. He knew Malfoy was hiding something that hurt him deeply, and he was just trying to be at least someone Malfoy could talk to. Maybe not about the deeper things, but just in general. Having no one to socialize with was probably not good for Malfoy's state of mind. However, this stubborn ass was making that near impossible.
"What's the point?" Malfoy snapped, an edge to his tone. "It's not like you actually care about any of it. So long as I am not your enemy, an obstacle, who cares, right?"
The smile on Malfoy's face was bitter.
"You know what, Malfoy?" Harry bit out in his anger. "I am so tired of this attitude of yours. You're exhausting! I get that you're not comfortable here, but you're not the only one that it's weird for!"
Malfoy chuckled a short, quiet, sad, chuckle- and as he spoke his voice was strained.
"Weird?" Another chuckle. "Weird is not the word I'd use." He picked up his plate and rinsed it at the sink.
Harry was bewildered at the mood shift. Malfoy dried his plate and moved to the cupboard.
"What word would you use, then?" Harry asked breathily.
"Agonizing," Malfoy said with a large grin on his face, before going back up the stairs.
Harry wasn't crazy, right? There were definitely tears in Malfoy's eyes. He sighed heavily. 'Great,' he thought. He had felt obligated to say something to Malfoy after hearing him sob the previous day, and now he'd probably made Malfoy cry all over again.
'Why does he have to be so difficult, though?!' It wasn't ALL Harry's fault, he decided, it was Malfoy, too. His insufferable attitude, constant snippy comments. Half the time it felt like Malfoy was transitioning into someone they could get along with, it seemed to be what Malfoy wanted. The other half of the time it felt like nothing had changed. Same old Malfoy. Harry was getting whiplash trying to keep up.
He sat in the silent dining room.
'Yeah,' he thought, 'Malfoy's fault too.' But even as he thought it, he wasn't really sure if fault had any place in it anyway.
~:.:~ DRACOCOR ~:.:~ DRAGONHEART ~:.:~
'Bloody Potter!' Draco thought angrily as he closed the door to his room. Why did he have to be so nosy? And what did Draco care about Potter's birthday? Whoop-dee-doo. He belly-flopped on his bed then wriggled under the covers. Still in recovery he was easily fatigued and right now he wanted nothing more than to sleep. To sleep and leave everything behind.
Another sunny day, this one hotter than previous days. A butterfly fluttered passed Draco's window, floating through the torridity. Draco prepared himself, then made his way to breakfast.
There was a small reaction, eyes that stared momentarily, but other than that it was as if Draco hadn't even entered the room. He grabbed an empty plate and filled it up for himself. This time he refused to let his nerves prevent him from taking care of himself.
Potter yawned obnoxiously loud and long.
"Whoa, mate," Ron said with humour, "didn't sleep well?"
Potter made a small frown, shrugged then said, "nightmare."
It sounded nonchalant but from the way Potter fidgeted as he spoke, Draco deduced that it was not as casual as all that. The look that Weasley and Granger exchanged only served to confirm his theory. 'File that away as useless information,' he thought with an internal eye-roll.
He continued to eat without any attempt at conversation or social interaction, until Mrs. Weasley cleared her throat loudly.
"Well, I was thinking," she began timidly, "perhaps we should go to Diagon Alley today for school supplies. We'll beat the crowds if we go now."
Draco stiffened minutely. He had the sudden realisation that he had no money. He was 'dead,' of course. He had no access to his family money, and how would he even wander about without causing mayhem and notifying… Lucius… That he was still alive? Maybe Lucius already knew, but Draco couldn't be certain of that- and if Lucius was still under the impression that he was dead, if his mother had allowed him to continue to think that way wouldn't she be in trouble if the truth was revealed?
'This was why Mrs. Weasley said it like that, isn't it?' He thought as he swiped his tongue angrily across his teeth.
"Draco, darling," the 'darling' came out a bit strained, Mrs. Weasley still adjusting to treating him just like everyone else. "I have some robes from my boys that I could tailor to fit you, of course, Ron needs some, too, but I think I have enough to make some for each of you."
Ron looked a little disgruntled at the thought of sharing half of his would-be robes with Draco, but said nothing, and to his credit- wiped the look off his face relatively quickly. If Draco hadn't immediately looked at him as Mrs. Weasley spoke, he would've missed the expression entirely. Draco couldn't say the same for himself. He could feel his face twisted in a look of absolute horror.
'Hand-me-down robes?!' His incredulous internal monologue growled. The very thing he used to tease Ron about so relentlessly, the thing he used as a reason to look down on the other boy. Now he would share in the very same misery
The others waited for a reaction from Draco, probably easily reading each horrified thought that passed through his thoughts on his transparent face.
"No, Mrs. Weasley," Potter spoke up, "I'll take care of his school expenses."
If Draco had a twisted expression on his face before, now it must look deformed. He was aghast and not good at hiding it; not that he was even making any effort to hide it.
"Why the bloody hell-"
"Mrs. Weasley has enough to deal with in her life, and I have money to spare?" Potter said it like a question. He clearly hadn't thought it out before making his offer.
Draco's face was rubescent with rage, and embarrassment. He hated this feeling, being a damned charity case. It only served to accentuate his uselessness, his pathetic existence. A thought then occurred to him and he laughed out loud. A sudden, savage, chortle ripped its way from his chest, up his throat and stampeded out his mouth. It startled those around him, Potter looked put-out.
"I was just trying to be helpful," he said.
"God," Draco said between laughs, "I imagine you're always 'just trying to be helpful.'"
Potter started to look irate.
"This is pointless, though," his laugh still simmering. "I can't go back to school anyway."
"No, Dumbledore said-" Mrs. Weasley began.
"Draco Malfoy," Draco announced with glee, "the dropout! How hysterical!" And he devolved into more boisterous cackles. "No," he broke in, "A dead man can't be a drop out, can he?"
Draco couldn't stop his laughter, his whole body quavering aggressively as he wiped tears from his eyes. He knew he was losing control, breaking down. He wanted to stop but nothing could stop him now. He was a dirty and shambled mudslide of a mess, and he would wipe out the forest before he was done.
He could see their faces through his blurred-eyes growing somber, and still he could not be stopped.
"Malfoy…" Hermione tested.
'Oh good!' He thought callously. 'Pity!'
Draco's laughter began to have an edge to it.
"Once you're at Hogwarts, you'll be safe." Ginny broke in; the noises from Draco sounded half laugh, half sob. "Dumbledore can protect you."
Yes, Dumbledore could protect him, but he couldn't protect his mum.
He felt his hysteria shifting into uncontrollable sobs and he rose to escape the wary eyes of his 'companions.'
A few of them also rose from their seats, an automatic reaction born from their uncertainty. Draco paid them no mind and started up the stairs quickly, feeling his laughter truly transforming into sobs.
'All I seem to do is cry these days.' The thought was enough to keep the chuckles alive until he was out of earshot.
Once securely in his room, Draco slapped himself- hard. He kept slapping until the tears stopped. Then he sat on his bed, staring absently at the wood grain beneath his feet. He needed to stop these outbursts. He didn't think he'd survive the embarrassment of it all. His situation was already unsavoury, what good did it do to add to that?
'Just pile it all on, why don't you?' He snorted.
If testing his new abilities made him this defenceless plebe then it wasn't worth it.
A whispered voice in the back of his mind reminded him of his vow to the dragon. It just made him mad.
'Yeah, do what's right, eh? Well, what the fuck is right?' Draco couldn't imagine how he was supposed to do anything right here. He had nothing but a small bag of clothes, his wand, a broken and marred body, a million regrets, and a shitty personality.
"Argh!" He cried out, jumping to his feet. This negative, poor-me attitude of his was starting to piss him off, too. 'This is not me,' but then, what was Draco these days? It was all just so complicated, and while Severus was right, it didn't make it any easier to try to navigate this new life. He needed to find that determination he'd had a month ago and apply it once more. He couldn't just give up!
Knock, knock, knock.
Draco turned to his door, stalked over and opened it.
"Surprise, surprise," Draco mumbled (though he really was surprised because how did Potter know which room was his, and how long had he known?) as Potter stared at him. "Don't you ever get tired of trying to help me? Trying to save me? Don't you still hate me?"
Potter hadn't been expecting that if his expression was anything to go by.
"No, I don't think I do." He said after a minute. "I did, a lot, now I don't know. You're not always pleasant to be around, now for instance," he gestured to Draco who was scowling with his arms crossed.
Draco exhaled loudly, "What do you want?"
Potter, rather rudely and without invitation, stepped passed Draco into his room. He stared at Draco for a few moments before gesturing again, this time to the door, raising his eyebrows and shaking his head slightly. He may as well have just snidely remarked, "close the door!"
"You know what?" Potter asked.
Draco shrugged his shoulders.
"This is so much better. So much more… us."
"Pfft."
"No, really, doesn't this feel more natural? Fighting and all?" Potter laughed.
"What's your point?" Draco snipped.
"I think maybe you're trying too hard," Draco gaped at Potter. "You're trying too hard to peacefully fit in, but y'know, it's too fake."
"What, so you just want me to be an arse?" Draco inquired exacerbated.
"No, I mean, don't be cruel but also… react naturally. No one expects your entire personality to change, you should stop forcing it. We'll all get a long better."
"If I'm mean, and rude, and, and-" Draco struggled and trailed off.
"Bitchy?" Potter added most unhelpfully. The scowl painted Draco's features once more. "I'm kidding, but really, the only way for us all to actually get along is for you to just let up a little. Stop putting so much pressure on it and let it happen organically."
"Right, I'm sure everyone will love that," Draco said through a sigh, lazily looking over at Potter.
"We are all grumpy and snippy sometimes, in fifth year I was almost constantly biting everyone's heads off." Potter responded.
"Sure, sure," Draco groaned. "There'll be no fighting, then? Everyone will just be so understanding, our former interactions forgotten- no longer coloring our-"
"We all fight sometimes," Potter cut off his tirade.
Draco just stared at Potter, not sure how to continue the conversation at this point. He still didn't believe it was possible to get along with everyone if he acted normal but arguing it didn't seem to be making any headway.
Potter wandered about the room for a moment making Draco uncomfortable. So, he decided to give it a shot.
"Potter," he turned to look at Draco, "I don't want you in my room. Tell me why you came here, then bugger off."
"I have an idea," Potter stated, "So you can go back to school."
Draco felt a small flutter of hope, though he was cautious about encouraging it.
"You see, I have this cloak."
~:.:~ DRACOCOR ~:.:~ DRAGONHEART ~:.:~