The whole week that my dad died was busy and weird and emotional. Sam was mostly great through it all, keeping me busy and grounded, well fed and well fucked.
Preparing for the funeral put a damper on my mood and Sam's. We had only fucked twice since I got home from work on Friday. It felt like we were wasting our weekend. We had an hour before we had to go.
We both had our clothes picked out for the funeral. He was going to wear a black button up and tie with black dress pants. I was going to wear the long black dress that I wore to Emily's funeral. It was really tight across my chest now, so I was going to wear a shawl over the top.
I wanted Sam one more time before we had to go. "Want to take a shower?" I asked him.
"Together?" He asked with that hungry look in his eyes.
"Yes, please," I said. We had tried shower sex before he was a wolf and it was clumsy but still pretty hot. Then after he became a wolf, he wanted to try it again and it was great. Now that we were both wolves, it was fucking amazing.
We watched each other undress in the living room.
He took long strides toward me, his eyes devouring every inch my body. When he reached me, he put his mouth next to my ear and whispered, "what if I don't want you to be clean?"
Fuck. He wanted to smear his jizz on me again. I loved how I smelled when he did that. It was like he was with me always. It would be such a comfort to have that during the funeral.
"Yes, please," I said again.
He lifted me at the waist and tossed me in the air. He pulled my hips toward him as I wrapped my legs around his waist. I landed right above his cock on his torso. He was still standing. Fuck. He was talented.
He moved my hips and his and he was inside me. Slowly, he walked me to the wall. Our mouths connected as he pushed into me, using the wall to push against.
He was alternating between thrusting into me hard and softly grinding his pelvis against my clit. He had one hand on my ass and one on my breast, creating an amazing tingly sensation all over my body. My hands were clinging to his shoulders, nails scraping his back. I was licking his neck and chin and kissing his mouth. He tasted so good. I could just eat him.
He was doing the soft grind when my breath hitched. I was coming. His eyes met mine and he kept grinding until I was screaming. Then he did four hard thrusts and pulled out, his cum shooting all over me. He started rubbing it in, all over my body and face, but not my hair anymore.
"Why does it smell so good?" I asked.
"Because it is me and we are bonded. We are each other's comfort." He said, rubbing it into my boobs. Sam always spent a lot of time making sure it was all over my boobs.
"What does it smell like to other people?" I asked him.
"Sex. You smell like sex."
"Is that weird, do you think?"
"You look like sex too, so I think it is fitting. Has anyone said anything about it?" He asked, looking at my face.
"No, but I don't think that they would. You know, the whole authority thing. No one ever complains about me anymore."
"Were you getting a lot of complaints at work before, Leah?" He was grinning at me, still rubbing my skin.
"Sometimes food would take a long time, or I didn't notice when someone wanted my attention for a refill or something."
"And that doesn't happen anymore?" He let my body slide down the wall.
"Well the cook seems to prioritize my customers and I think I might be more observant now, so I'm pretty quick about refills and shit. Not too quick. I've been careful about my speed."
"So no complaints?" He asked, pulling up his pants.
"No complaints."
"You are so beautiful." He said with adoration, looking over my whole body. "It's surreal how beautiful you are."
"You're one to talk." I said. "You make Adonis look like a chump."
He laughed, then kissed me again, holding me close. "We should probably start getting ready. You need to get dressed or else I'm going to have you again. We don't want to be late."
I pulled my panties up. He was rolling his thumb over my nipple while I was trying to get my bra on.
"This is a new bra?" He asked.
"I had to get all new bras. None of my old bras fit at all. My boobs were spilling out of the top. I had to wear the half cup one and it barely gave any support" I told him. " So I went on Friday after school, before my shift at the diner."
"To Port Angeles?"
"I ran as a wolf," I explained. "It's mostly woods from here to there. I carried a backpack in my mouth."
"Smart! I don't think anyone else has done that."
"Did any of the other wolves need new bras?" I asked cheekily.
When we arrived at the funeral, the pack was all there. Most of the tribe was there. A good portion of Forks was there too. There were too many people but I stood by my mom and Seth. Sam stood by me as Daddy's son-in-law. I was emotionally numb, just letting Sam guide my body to wherever I was supposed to be.
I was full of dread. I had been suppressing all of my feelings about my dad's death. Now I had to face the reality of the situation head on. It was too painful. But at his funeral there was no avoiding it. It was crazy. He was only in his forties. He was too young.
And he was my Daddy and I loved him and I'd never see him again and my cheeks were wet. Sam pulled me into a tight hug, rubbing my back.
"Let's sit," he said after a few minutes. "Billy is about to start."
I sat next to Seth who sat next to Mom who sat next to Charlie Swan. Charlie had planned everything. I'll need to thank him later.
Billy's eulogy was beautiful. He talked about their childhood memories. As kids, there were four best friends: Billy, my dad, Quil Ateara IV and Quil's cousin Charlie. So Billy started by talking about their childhood shenanigans and mischief. It was pretty funny.
He kept the theme of the four guys going through adolescence and adulthood. He talked about how the four of them had families but kept their friendship strong. I knew that my dad had these friends, but I didn't know just how beloved he was.
Billy told the gathering of Daddy's values as a husband and father. He told what a joy it was to watch his friend raise such great kids. He talked about Daddy's work and Daddy's efforts on the council. He talked briefly about Daddy's passing, about his heart condition that took him too soon.
After the service, everyone mingled around in the meeting hall while the pack brought out snacks. They were told not to eat anything for twenty minutes except peanut butter and jelly sandwiches from the kitchen. They did well. Kim and Jared hung out in the kitchen assembling sandwiches. I would have rather been with them than trying to mingle with the crowd.
People would approach me, shake my hand, shake Sam's hand, and say something nice. I'd nod, not able to make eye contact. Then Sam would say something to make them go away. Rinse and repeat.
It felt like we were being swamped with well wishers, even more than my mom.
"When can we leave?" I whispered to Sam. It was the first thing I had said since we got there.
"Right now," he said. "Let's just go tell your mom before we go."
He walked me over to my mom. I said nothing. My mom gave me a hug but she also said nothing.
Sam spoke for me. "I'm going to take her home. She's not doing great with the crowd."
My mom gave Sam a hug too. Still she said nothing. She looked like she was numb too.
In the car, Sam asked, "are you okay to drive? I could drive or we could leave the car here and come back for it later."
"I'm fine." I said, turning on the car but not moving it. Now that he mentioned it, I wasn't sure that I was ok to drive.
There was a knock on my window. Seth. Shit! I forgot to talk to Seth.
I opened the door, got out and hugged him.
"Mom wanted me to tell you that people have been dropping off meals for us. She wants you guys to take half because we're running out of room in the freezer."
"We can do that, thank you, Seth," Sam called from inside the car.
"Thank you, Seth," I said. I was finally able to breathe, able to speak, now that we were no longer in the funeral. "Are we still on for Monday?"
He nodded. "Mom wants you to stay for dinner on Mondays, Leah." He ducked to look at Sam in the car. "She wants you to come too, Sam."
Sam got out of the car and clapped his hand on Seth's shoulder. "That's great, Seth. Lee-lee, I'm going to drive."
"Ok." I walked around to the passenger's seat. Sam drove us home. We snuggled on the couch and watched TV mindlessly. Neither of us said a word. I don't even know what we watched.
After an hour, Sam got up, saying he wanted to make something to eat. I followed him to the kitchen like a lost puppy.
"What do we have?" I asked.
"A huge shopping list." He said, rummaging around the cupboards. We had agreed early on that we would only shop on Sundays and make do with what we had. Sam's mom went shopping every other day and it always bugged him. My mom was a once a week shopper and I agreed that seemed more sensible. But we hadn't expected a week like this.
I rummaged through the fridge while he continued looking in the cupboards.
"Let's go get some casseroles," I suggested.
"Yes! I meant to do that after the funeral. Do you want me to drive?" He offered, looking over my face to see if I was ready.
"No, I got this," I said confidently.
SPOVWhen we got to the Clearwaters' house, my mom was there, along with Charlie Swan, Sue and Seth. Charlie was doing dishes. My mom was sitting on the couch with Sue. Seth was sitting in an armchair playing with his game boy. When he saw us at the door, he bolted up to greet us.
"Leah, Sam, are you here for food?" Seth asked.
"And to see you all, but yeah, for food." Leah said, smiling a little.
"Good," Sue said. "I've had to put some on the counter because we're out of room."
"Even I took one," my mom said. Knowing her, she probably froze it for my next visit.
"Seth, come help us divy it up," I said.
He followed us into the kitchen. We both started to fill the table with casseroles while Leah talked to Charlie.
"Thank you for helping my mom with the funeral, Charlie. I meant to talk to you at the funeral and thank you." Leah said.
"You two were getting swamped. I knew I'd see you around at the diner. And what's there to say anyway? There's nothing to say that makes this better."
"That's actually the perfect thing to say," Leah said.
Charlie wiped his hands on a dish towel and gave her a fatherly hug. When he let her go, he turned to me and gave me a solid handshake.
"The cops on the scene were very impressed with you, Sam. The paramedics too. I appreciate your efforts to try to save him. We all do."
I didn't know what to say. I didn't save him. I didn't feel it was right to be praised for failure.
I shook my head. "I'm just sorry I was too late," I said.
"We all are, but you did all that you could."
"Thank you, sir," I said. "Are you taking any of this food?"
"No! My daughter would kill me if I did. She wants Leah and Seth to have it. Bella adores both of them."
"She has good taste in friends," I said.
"Yes, I can't say the same about her taste in boyfriends," he quipped.
"I'm glad you said it. I didn't want to," I said. I knew that we were both thinking of the night that I found Bella in the woods, abandoned by the leech. Of course, Charlie didn't know that his little girl was dating a vampire. All he knew was that Bella was dating a jerk.
Seth and Leah were taking turns picking out the meals and casseroles. Our pile was getting big. It was making me hungry.
"Can we pop something in the oven now?" I asked. "I didn't eat at the funeral. Not even the sandwiches you guys had."
"I have a full bag of sandwiches in the fridge," Seth said. "Jared and Kim kept making them until we ran out of bread."
I could picture that. Jared and Kim made a great team.
"Oh, that's even better. Then I don't have to wait." Seth handed me the bag. I grabbed one for me and one for Leah. The two of us finished the whole bag while they continued to discuss who would get the less desirable casseroles.
"Let me see what's left," I said. "If you guys don't want these, I'll bring them to my mom's and eat them there while you're at work, Leah."
They both looked so relieved. I didn't care. I could eat anything. After years of my mom's cooking, I had a high tolerance for weird food. And some of it didn't look bad.
I carried the stack into the living room and told my mom the plan.
"You better actually come and eat those," she said.
"I will," I promised.
Seth and Leah were putting food into the back seat of Leah's car when I came out of my mom's. Leah drove us home and we put two casseroles in the oven for dinner. After dinner, we snuggled on the couch again.
Leah didn't say anything all night. She fell asleep on the couch so I carried her to bed. It had been such an emotional day for her.