A/N: I know this story is kinda different than my others (and as such, I am insecure, as always).
*taps mic* "Is...is anyone still there?"
Seriously though, thank you all for your reviews. I know this fandom slowly dwindles as time goes on, but I love that we still have this little support group left.
Chapter 7:
Falling Slowly
Alison was striding across the set of a dining area. She hit her mark and then the main characters came walking into the camera's frame.
Acting put her in a hyper-focused mindset. It kept her negative thoughts at bay. When she was on camera she forgot she even had a sister, much less that her sister might be calling and harassing her.
The production she was working on was from a studio in Hollywood, but it was filming on location in Malibu. There weren't as many productions in Malibu as Hollywood, but LA didn't have Emily. And that was a deal-breaker for her.
Things had been going so well for them, even after the little snafu on Emily's first day back to school.
Alison hadn't meant to bring chaos back into their lives, but the unknown caller had upset Emily.
It had been two weeks since the brunette had answered one of the many hang-up calls Alison was on the receiving end of.
Alison didn't know Emily had grabbed her phone a few days after it happened and sent Caleb information that he was using to try and trace the calls.
The director called "cut" and they ran through the scene several more times before finally moving on to the next scene, which had Alison walking over to a booth with two of the main actors. It took them half an hour to set the scene.
They called for her to stand on her mark and then rolled the camera.
She glanced at the main actors.
She envied their wardrobe. Not that she was ungrateful to the casting director for getting her the part of a waitress…who had actual lines and was in more than one scene. She just wished that the clothes she had on were more glamorous.
When she heard "action" she walked over to the table, running through her lines and taking their order.
She was a natural. The camera loved her.
She had gained a tremendous amount of new followers. People thought she was gorgeous inside and out, which was a nice change of pace from the person she had been when she was a teenager. She had a great reputation with being incredibly kind to her fans, especially when they approached her and asked for a picture.
It happened sometimes when she was out with Emily. The brunette had mentioned more than once that it was really nice to see her interact with her fans.
Alison knew how much Emily hated being in the spotlight, so she respected her privacy. She often gently guided her fans away from Emily when they approached them.
"Again from the top." The Director, a middle-aged woman with a soft face and a penchant for being nice to everyone on set, drew her out of her thoughts.
They set up the shot again and ran it a few more times. Once they were finished with her scenes she headed back to get changed and call it a day. Her call time had been fairly early, so she had enough time to grab a late lunch with Emily.
Despite their busy schedules, they made their relationship work.
Living together had ended up being the best thing in the world. They had most nights together. Sometimes Emily was working or consumed by school work, but they always found time for each other.
"Nice job today people!" The Director shouted encouragingly as they walked by.
The extras on set had already been dismissed for the day. Only a few people remained.
As she was walking down the hallway behind the others who had wrapped for the day, she dawdled. She paused to look at framed photographs on the wall of other movies that had been filmed there.
She didn't realize she was alone until the silence permeating the air was broken by a loud pair of footsteps. Heels clacking against the floor.
That's odd. No one was wearing heels in that scene.
Something felt off.
The hairs on the back of her neck stood at attention.
The footsteps stopped abruptly. There was a haunting lilting laugh.
Alison spun around, but no one was there.
The echoes of the heels started up again, this time moving at a faster pace. But they were moving away from her.
Alison's instincts kicked in and she followed the sound down another hallway.
She heard a side door open and turned the corner just in time to see a wisp of blonde hair disappear as it closed.
No. No no no…
She raced over to the door, but when she opened it…no one was outside.
She was staring at an empty parking lot.
I'm losing it.
The calls were starting to get to her.
Had she actually heard anything, or was it all in her head?
Charlotte was good at head games. She knew that Alison still had PTSD from being on the run. She knew Alison would be paranoid someone was after her because of the calls.
Alison took a few moments to stop and breathe.
When she got back to the fitting area she was the only one there.
Everyone else had already grabbed their stuff and left.
She dug her bag out of a locker and pulled her phone out.
She hadn't been allowed to bring it to set, which was the downside to any acting gig where you weren't the star. They had a strict policy on phones, though Alison had seen the lead actor with her phone more than once. She'd seen her use it in between takes.
She hated being disconnected for a lot of reasons. Being online was her escape. Not having her phone also made her feel farther away from Emily. They texted throughout the day and sent each other pictures when they could, but Alison couldn't do that on set.
She glanced at the screen. She had a few messages from Emily. She always sent really sweet affirmations.
Morning. Have a great day on set.
Followed up by,
This made me think of you.
A picture was attached of a Van Gogh Starry Night painting replica that hung in the hallway of her school.
Her last text was from thirty minutes ago.
Let me know what you want for lunch. The food at Pepperdine is actually insanely good. I can grab something and meet you during my break between classes.
Alison started to text her back, but she saw that she had a missed call and a voicemail.
Her stomach lurched.
She dreaded listening to it. Emily didn't usually leave voicemails. Most people she knew just texted.
She knew who it was from. Or rather…she knew it wasn't from anyone she considered a friend.
She stared at the voicemail, considering deleting it, but there was some strange morbid part of her that wondered what was on the recording. She didn't want to listen. But she was hoping that whoever was calling her would mess up. And she could end it.
She hit the play button and put the phone up to her ear. As expected, there was nothing on the other end except an eerie darkness and heavy breathing.
She angrily jabbed the delete button and swore under her breath.
The phone vibrated in her hand and she nearly dropped it in shock. But then she saw Aria's contact photo and breathed a sigh of relief.
They had been talking a little more lately. It was nice to get back in touch. Alison knew part of it was because of Aria's job. She was the one who had suggested the right agent to get in contact with the right people in the industry. And Alison boosted that by promoting Aria's content on her socials.
"Hey, Boston. How's it going?" Alison answered, smiling when she saw Aria's face in the frame of her camera.
"Hey, Malibu Barbie." Aria tucked her bobbed black hair behind her ear with a laugh.
At first Alison was certain Aria had given her the nickname to insult her, but then Aria told her that one of her followers had lovingly called her Malibu Barbie because they wanted Alison to star in a film as Malibu Barbie. They thought she was beautiful.
"How is the movie shoot going? Is Gregg taking care of you?" Aria had put Alison in contact with someone she knew through her writing and editing career who had been advising Alison.
"He's been great. How are you?" Alison asked, pulling her clothes off of a rack and slinging them over her shoulder. "How's Liam?"
"Still the Clark Kent to my Lois Lane." A flicker of mischief flashed in Aria's eyes.
"I had no idea you were a DC fan." Alison teased.
"My brother's comics." Aria chuckled. "I'm surprised you know what DC is."
"Jason was obsessed with the entire DC universe." She rolled her eyes and blew her hair out of her face, trying not to think about the fact that her brother had betrayed her.
"Jason was obsessed many things." Aria muttered darkly.
She hadn't meant to let it slip. Alison didn't fault her for it. Her brother had committed a felony. A disgustingly gross felony. They were all horrified by his actions, but Aria was more sensitive to it since she'd been groomed in high school. She had no love for older men taking advantage of kids.
"You didn't happen to see the perv when you were in Rosewood, did you?" He still hadn't called Alison back.
Alison had told the girls that he wanted Charlotte out, but that she disagreed. She hadn't gone into the details of how she'd lobbied against Charlotte and told the Board she should never be released.
"No. I was only there for three days though. I wouldn't ever go back it if wasn't for my mother and my brother. I did run into a perv though."
"You'll have to be more specific. There are so many people that could apply to."
"Wren. I know Spencer said he apologized, but seeing him at the Grille just happily sitting there and eating his lunch made me so angry. I felt like walking over to him and punching him."
"What stopped you?"
"Before I could do anything my mother waved to him and then walked over and started talking to him. Veronica and my mom didn't talk about Wren trying to get with Spencer when she was 16. I don't think Veronica told anyone. Spencer told me they blamed her and then made an excuse about Melissa's engagement falling through."
"They blamed her? That's awful." Alison scrunched her nose up in disgust. "Though I can't say I'm surprised that the WASP-y Hastings protect their image first and their daughter…never."
"Mom talked to him while I got our food. I didn't want to be anywhere near him, though I guess seeing him is better than seeing Ezra." Her voice tensed at the name. "Toby was there and he didn't look thrilled to see Wren either. He saw me getting take-out and we chatted for a bit. He kept staring at Wren."
"Makes sense given his history with Spencer. If she opened up to anyone about Wren pursing her it would have been Toby. He's over-protective, too. Glad you were there, because I bet he would have had words with the man and gotten himself hauled off to jail otherwise." Alison could picture Toby walking over to Wren and punching him right out of his chair.
There was an explosion of laughter from the short brunette.
"He said those exact words, but he didn't want to make a scene in front of my mother or call attention to me. When my mom came over, we both had these fake smiles on our faces. Mom said Wren was doing great. Seeing someone he met at work."
"Is she an underage patient?" Alison uttered caustically.
Aria laughed.
"No. Some graduate student. She's apparently brilliant." She exaggerated a British accent. "Mom and I talked to Toby for a little bit. He's good. He was heading to a build a few towns over. He looked like he was doing well."
"Yeah, Emily talks to him and texts him a lot."
"Don't really have much more gossip than that. Oh, other than the fact that Principal Hackett is getting married to Ms. Horowitz, who is fresh off of a divorce."
"Pretty sure those two were in bed together when I was working there." Alison giggled. She felt like a school girl sharing secrets on the playground.
"Bridgette Wu is running this really successful boutique and is engaged to some rich businessman. Sean Ackard works at his parents' dental office, and one of the old football jocks got locked up for a drunk and disorderly a month ago."
"Sounds like Rosewood is still…Rosewood." And Alison didn't miss it one bit.
"How are you? And Em? Are you two…" Aria fished for an answer.
"Oh…you know…we're just Alison and Emily." Alison danced around the truth.
Their relationship was still something they wanted between them. Emily's friends in California had been respectful…even protective of helping them keep their relationship guarded. It was really sweet.
It's not that they didn't want to tell the girls. They were just trying to wait for the right time.
Alison quickly shifted gears, changing the topic.
"So, I got the advanced copy of your book. I've been reading it during my downtime on set. It's really good."
She had related to the themes in Aria's book because it was real. They had both experienced so much when they were younger. And Aria painted a painful but powerful picture. She was the writer Alison had always aspired to be.
"You think so?" Aria chewed her lip.
"Yeah, I do." In fact she'd had a hard time putting it down. "No wonder you're going to get a motion picture deal out of it."
Movie studios were already bidding for her novel, which was about a young girl finding her way in life after a torrid affair with an older man in which the young protagonist realized that she had been groomed. It was the antithesis of Lolita.
Alison considered the root of Aria's source material.
She knew how it felt. When Alison was younger she thought she held all the power over the grown men in her life who were all too eager to accept her advances. But the truth was…they were the adults in the situation. They should have stopped her. They held the power. It was hard for her to come to terms with. She was still coming to terms with it. And she knew Aria was, too.
"How are you doing, Aria?" Alison furrowed her brow in concern. "I mean how are you really doing? I know writing that book couldn't have been easy for you."
Aria's eyes widened. She seemed genuinely surprised that Alison had asked. They didn't talk a lot about their past.
"I'm…" Her gaze slowly tracked off screen before meeting Alison's eyes again. "Well…Liam has been great. I've been…trying to process everything."
Her face contorted as if she was trying to push it away. She puffed out a sigh. She pursed her lips, letting the silence between them linger until it started to grow uncomfortable.
When she spoke again her voice sounded different…aged in a way beyond her years.
"He stole something from me." Aria licked her lips, his name coming out as a whisper, "Ezra. He stole my youth. And sometimes I'm just so angry and…confused. But for the most part I'm trying to discover who I am without him. Because he molded me into being just his...belonging to only him."
"You are an amazing and compassionate person. A good friend. And a hell of a writer." Insults were a thing of the past for Alison. The caring comment had come naturally.
"Wow." Aria laughed. She looked at Alison like she was a complete stranger. "You've really come a long way since high school."
"Yeah. If only I'd taken a class in How Not to Be a Bitch sooner." Alison shot her a timid smile.
It earned a laugh from Aria.
"To be fair, we all had our moments."
"Yeah, but not like me. I was the worst. I mean like…it wasn't even a competition, but if it was I would have won. Because I have to be the best at everything, including the best worst person in Rosewood."
Aria shook her head, a puzzled expression on her face.
"I think that sentence just shorted out my brain. Best worst person. The editor in me is screaming and kicking the walls." Aria chuckled.
"Back in high school I always knew you were going to take the world by storm with some form of art." Alison pulled Aria's book out of her bag and admired it.
She had the Kindle version, too, but she'd been bringing the book to work to maximize its exposure. She was hoping that other people would see her reading it and they'd be interested in it. But it wasn't just for the exposure. There was something magical about holding a physical copy of a book. The way the pages smelled. The weight of it in her hand.
"I'm not bullshitting you. The book is incredible." She flipped her copy of Aria's book Then and Now over and read the back cover. "The narrative really sucks you in. I think the most amazing thing is that it's your story, but you managed to give a voice to all of the people out there who are dealing with this. It's amazing…and heartbreaking. And it's going to change lives."
"I can't take all the credit. Liam and I alternated chapters. He has a voice for it, too." Aria's lip twitched as she fought back her emotions. "His little sister was groomed."
"That's terrible." Alison grimaced. It was far too common for little girls. Little boys, too. "Did he punch the shit out of the man?"
"Yep." Aria nodded. "Writing the book was really cathartic for both of us. But I'm not going to lie. It was difficult to go back to that time in my life. Not just because of Ezra."
Her eyes grew cold, glassy. She looked like she was fighting back tears.
Alison saw the physical transformation in Aria. Her shoulders tensed. Her eyes darkened. A sneer slipped through, but she managed to catch it and push it into a sad smile.
Charlotte destroyed her.
She destroyed all of them.
"My panic attacks are back in full force." Aria took a breath. "I was on the Red Line the other day going to Braintree and the train stopped in the tunnel between the stations. The power went out and it was dark. So dark that it was black." She shuddered. "And I was back in every box and every tight space that she ever put me in. I couldn't breathe."
Aria reached up for her throat and gently raked her fingers over her skin as if she was re-living it. She blinked and looked at Alison again.
"I felt really alone. But then I heard a girl crying, and for a minute I was relieved that someone else was scared out of their mind." Her eyes darted to the side and then back towards Alison. "And then the power came back on…and every single person on that train was staring at me. Because I was the girl that was crying."
Alison felt a chill shoot down her spine. Her heart ached for her friends…and selfishly, a little for herself. She had wanted so desperately to believe that everyone could change. Mona had changed. She had changed. She wanted to believe there was good somewhere in Charlotte, too.
It was stupid and juvenile and incredibly insulting to her friends, and she knew that now. But her heart still hurt.
And she felt guilty that it still hurt.
"I shouldn't have stayed in Rosewood." Alison looked away.
Aria exhaled another heavy sigh.
"The girls and I don't blame you for staying. We know it was confusing…and complicated. You lost your mother. Your father bailed. You were dealt a shitty hand. It's hard to know what to do when someone you care about does horrible unspeakable things. Hell, Hanna went through it with Mona after Mona tried to kill us. And me…I defended Ezra for years."
They'd had a lot of people in their lives who had let them down, and so many more who had hurt them in ways they'd never recover. Sometimes rehashing the past wasn't easy. But it was necessary. Aria's book was proof of that.
"I think…" Aria paused, trying to consider how she wanted to phrase something. "Actually, I don't think…I know it's possible to believe you love someone and also know that their actions are not okay. It's complex. But the thing I realized when I was writing Then and Now was that sometimes it can be impossible to see the toxicity of someone when you're too close to them. You were a victim, too. Charlotte attacked you, too. But she was your sister, and we all heard what your parents did to her."
Alison's eyes burned with tears. She still hadn't reconciled her mother's death. The way her body had been found was so traumatic. And the fact that her murderer was still out there somewhere was a painful burden.
Even worse, she carried a deep-rooted guilt because even though her mother was gone, she hadn't forgiven her for burying her alive or for pushing Charlotte away into isolation.
She had a lot of people in her life she had yet to forgive. She hadn't forgiven her father for being a transphobic asshole…or for the fact that he ran away when he had children who needed him. And she hadn't forgiven Jason for choosing Charlotte over her or for his actions in high school.
"I don't forgive her." Aria cleared her throat, jolting Alison back into reality. "I never will. I would not feel safe if she ever got out."
"I know." Alison managed to squeak out. She barely felt like herself. The conversation didn't feel real.
"But just because I don't forgive her doesn't mean I don't understand what you're going through."
Alison nodded.
"Perhaps that's why Then and Now resonates so much for me." Alison took a breath. "When you're scared and when you're lost and hurting…you do things that you'll one day look back on and ask yourself 'why didn't I know better?'"
"It's not that you didn't know better." Aria corrected her. "It's that you weren't taught better. Perhaps it's out of pocket for me to say, but your parents really failed you. They failed Jason and Charlotte, too."
Alison saw Aria flinch when she said Charlotte's name.
"It's a wonder you turned out sane." Aria's statement struck a chord in Alison.
Am I really sane?
Or am I just good at pretending I am?
What sane person willingly stays in a town where everyone wanted her dead for someone who tormented her and her best friends?
That wasn't sane at all.
And now I'm seeing ghost versions of my sister.
Right. I'm the picture perfect version of someone who does not need therapy at all.
"When I looked back on it I realized how much she hurt you, too. I didn't realize that until I started drafting this book. I was sitting in Liam's chair and Argos was in my lap, snoring. I was mindlessly petting him and penning my thoughts and I wrote "Ezra had many victims" and your name was listed. I didn't think. It was just there. It was eye-opening. Then I started thinking about how Ezra didn't just pull me into his world. He used all of us. He made Emily feel safe after Maya died. He tried to make himself a savior when Spencer was using drugs. He inserted himself into all of our lives. He manipulated all of us. And your sister manipulated you."
So, why did I stay?
There has to be something wrong with me.
She tried to shake it off.
"You'd think I would have seen it coming a mile away since I was such a master at manipulation." Alison weakly attempted some self-serving humor.
"Sometimes we're too emotionally-charged to see it for what it is. Feelings blur the line." Aria looked at her sadly. "Sometimes it takes something huge to shake us out of it." She paused, considering something. Then she looked directly into Alison's eyes. "I know what you did for us. How you went against your family and lobbied against Charlotte's release. I know you and Jason had a huge blowout over it. You two didn't just have a disagreement over whether she deserved to come home. You actively fought against it."
Alison didn't know what to say.
The only person she had told was Emily.
One of the girls must have found out and reached out to the others. Her money was on Spencer. Spencer didn't like to let things go, so she'd naturally try to find out why Alison walked away from her sister. Emily had mentioned that Spencer was really curious about why she left.
"My mom told me. She found out through someone who used to work at Welby. My mom's friend said you fought really hard for us." Aria stopped Alison before she could go down the rabbit-hole wondering who knew what. "I didn't say anything to the other girls. I assume Emily knows. And I thought if you wanted us to know you would tell us."
"I…" That had been Alison's moment. The one Aria was talking about. Shaking herself out of a situation she didn't even know she was in, "I told them that no one spent more time with her than Jason and I did. I told them that I didn't believe she had good intentions and that I personally wouldn't feel safe having her out, but that even more-so I was worried that she would come after you all again. I also told them that it was unfair to drag you back into it with victim impact statements and that it would traumatize you all over again."
Alison closed her eyes and she was back in that small dank room talking to a panel about her sister. Charlotte and Jason had been horrified when she spoke.
"Jason didn't know I was going to bring it up in the preliminary hearing. He looked at me like I'd betrayed our entire fucked up heritage. Because the Board agreed we both had to be on the same page about her getting out. My words carried a ton of weight."
She had lost her whole family that day.
But had they really been her family?
Mothers didn't teach their children to manipulate and lie. Fathers didn't scream and go into a rage and shove their children into a mental institution. Brothers didn't turn on their sisters when they needed them most. They didn't prey upon their siblings and their friends. Sisters didn't try to kill each other.
Alison hadn't realized how alone she had felt. She was clinging to what was left of her sanity, but no one around her knew it. She used her fame as an attempt to fill a void she was missing, but there was a tiny crack in the foundation. She knew eventually she was going to have to face her past…and her future.
Aria pursed her lips in thought.
"Why didn't you tell us?"
"I was going to, but I didn't know how." Alison blinked back her tears. So alone. "Things were heated and I panicked. Jason was pissed, and Charlotte…she…"
Threatened to escape and murder us all.
Is haunting me from 3000 miles away.
"She wasn't happy." Alison didn't want to scare her, so she caught herself before she said it.
"You did a good thing. You did the right thing." Aria leaned forward and a stray lock of hair fell into her face. She pushed it back behind her ear. "We know where you stand. No matter what our past is. No matter how terrible you think you are for staying. You did what was right. We know you're not the same girl we knew in high school. I can't speak for Spencer and Hanna, but I'm pretty sure they feel the same. Just because we don't talk a lot doesn't mean we don't love you. And I know Emily is crazy about you."
They both laughed, though Alison was trying to hide her nerves. She wasn't sure why she was so protective of her relationship with Emily, but she intended to follow her instincts.
"Thank you. I think I needed to hear that." Alison sat down on a trunk of clothing. "I love you guys, too."
That love made her anxiety even worse. Thinking about Charlotte running around with free reign was gnawing a hole into her stomach.
"I'm glad you're doing so well. And I can't wait to see your debut on screen." Aria's olive green eyes sparkled with excitement.
"And I'll be the first in line to buy your book…" She held up Aria's book and smiled as she waved it around. "Even though I already have two copies."
"Ah…speaking of books, my boss is calling." Aria scowled at the phone and rolled her eyes. "She knows how to sell books, but she's a demon from hell."
"Well, we've all dealt with a lot of those." Alison leaned back against the trunk, placing her palm on top of it to keep from toppling over. "I was one of those."
"But you're not anymore." Aria she frowned at her phone. "I better answer this. It was really nice catching up with you." Her features softened as she turned her attention back towards Alison. "Let me know how things are going out there."
"I will."
Once they'd said their goodbyes Alison lowered the phone. She stared at Aria's book sitting next to her and thought about their conversation. They had been through hell in Rosewood. And those scars were long-lasting.
She had buried the pain of Charlotte's betrayal, but her talk with Aria made her realize that she needed to face some hard truths about herself.
"It's a wonder you turned out sane," Aria had said.
The truth was that she was more paranoid than ever.
Why was she seeing Charlotte everywhere she went? Why were the hang-up calls rattling her? Why was she so afraid? Was she afraid of her sister or was she afraid of herself?
She tried to cleanse her palate by scrolling through all her alerts from Instagram. Before she went to set she had taken a selfie and uploaded it. She was in her little waitress outfit and some of the other clothes from wardrobe were behind her.
She had captioned it Can I take your order? And tossed a few hashtags #Hot, #Fresh, #ServingLooks, and #SetLife.
She had been promoting the movie to her followers, but there were guidelines on what she was allowed to post. The rules were easy enough to follow. No spoilers. No posting pictures with the cast. No photos were allowed while they were filming. Simple things to keep the integrity of the project intact.
She scrolled through her comments and saw a bunch of fire emojis and the fairly common Marry Me that she got on pretty much every photo she posted of herself.
She had been very coy about her relationship status, not because she wanted to lead anyone on. She just didn't want Emily to be dragged into the limelight.
Her agent told her it was good to remain ambiguous about dating and sexuality because it helped her fanbase.
Alison had scoffed at that. She didn't care if people knew she was bisexual or if they knew she was dating Emily. And if Emily decided one day that she wanted to be a part of her life online Alison would accept that, no questions asked.
She thought it was fake and disingenuous to pretend for the sake of an image. She hated the idea that people only followed her just to objectify her. She wanted to create content that was for everyone.
She deleted the usual trolling comments.
Someone should teach you a lesson.
Eat shit.
"How pleasant." She turned her nose up at the screen.
She didn't like that her fans were seeing things like that, but a lot of them came to her defense.
Wtf is wrong with you? Reported was written below the first ugly comment.
Seek help was written below the second comment.
Everyone online was used to trolls.
Her fans had no way of knowing that her troll might actually be real. It was too much to think about. She closed her socials and pulled up her texts.
Alison reread Emily's text with a smile on her face.
Let me know what you want for lunch. The food at Pepperdine is actually insanely good. I can grab something and meet you during my break between classes.
She flipped the camera on her phone on, ready to take a picture not for the internet, but for Emily. She gave her best sexy pout and pulled back to reveal the waitress uniform. She snapped a few pictures until she found one that she was happy with. Then she sent it to Emily,
How about a serving of Me for Lunch? We both already know you love the taste.
The second after she sent it she shook her head in embarrassment. It was super corny. Sometimes Emily made her feel so insanely giddy that she said and did stupid things.
Fortunately, Emily was someone who just laughed it off. And she'd had her fair share of embarrassments, too.
Ahhh, God, please ignore that. I was trying to go for sexy, but that was so cringe. Please forgive me. I temporarily lost my mind. She popped in several blushing emojis and then added. Whatever you pick up at Pepperdine is fine. I have to get changed and make sure I'm clear to leave. Love you.
After she finished up on set she checked her messages and saw Emily had responded.
That's not lunch. That's dessert. She sold it with a winking emoji. There. Now we're even on the cheesy pick-up lines.
Alison knew she had to have been blushing when she typed it out. Emily didn't usually get sappy in texts. She did when they were together though. Sometimes she would say something and her face would turn bright red and she would get completely flustered.
I'm home. The rest of Emily's message read. My 2:00 class was cancelled and my 4:30 is virtual. So I'm here for the rest of the day.
Dessert is on its way.
This time she didn't flinch. She loved that she could be corny and sappy with Emily.
When Emily saw the flirty text her jaw almost dropped. She had to choke back her laughter and work hard to contain her surprise.
She wanted to send something sexy back to her, but she was on a video call with her dad, and the last thing she needed was to be sexting her girlfriend while talking to him.
"You're taking care of yourself, right?" Emily gave him a concerned look.
He'd been diagnosed with a heart condition when Emily was in high school, but it didn't keep him from doing his job. He'd been cleared by a doctor, but Emily still worried about him.
"Who's the parent here?" Her father chuckled. "I should be asking you that question."
"I don't have heart problems and a job as dangerous as yours." Emily countered.
"Considering you could drown, your old Pop would beg to differ." The screen froze on his warm smile.
The connection wasn't great, but Emily would take any time with her father that she could get.
Emily's chest cinched and her hands balled into fists.
Darkness.
Water roaring around her.
Choking.
"I can't breathe!"
She pushed her fingernails into her palms to pull herself out of the memory.
"I don't know how mom has managed to stay sane with both of us jumping head first into danger." Emily shook her head.
"Speaking of your mother…we have something we've been wanting to talk to you about." He glanced at someone off screen, made a hand gesture and nodded.
"Is everything okay?" Emily's heart seized. She hated that her automatic reaction was fear, but she'd been conditioned throughout her teenage years to react to all the trauma she'd been through. "Is mom okay?"
She wanted to kick herself for not going back to see her more. It was just so hard to be in Rosewood.
"Everything is fine." His tone calmed her down.
His voice had always soothed her. She was convinced she'd come out of her mother's womb and ended up right in her dad's arms with him telling her he would protect her from everything in the world.
"We didn't want to say anything until I was sure. Didn't want to get your hopes up. But it looks like I'm going to get the opportunity to head home for a few weeks next month."
"Dad, that's great!" Emily exclaimed.
"I know you're busy with school, so I thought maybe your mom and I could fly out to see you. I really miss you, baby girl."
"I was actually planning to take time off if you can't make Malibu work for you two." For her father, she would go back to Rosewood. "Alison and I were talking about going back to Rosewood. If that's easier, we could do that."
"We'll see how it plays out. You know how your mother is a stickler for holidays at home, but it would be nice to see the beach." He winked. "I've always loved seeing you in your element. You were a natural in the water when you were a baby."
If he only knew how much she'd struggled with water after Charlotte had drowned her…
"I remember mom teaching me to kick my little legs and you taught me how to doggy-paddle."
The memory washed away the one of the water rising around her in the well. It was one of her coping mechanisms. She thought of good memories when a bad one popped into her head.
"We're really proud of you." The light in her dad's eyes made Emily feel good. "How is school?"
"It's good. I stay really busy. But it's good." Emily nodded.
"And Alison?" He asked. The screen pixelated, froze, and then came back to rest. "How are things going with you two?"
"We're good."
Emily glanced at her phone where Alison's text sat unanswered.
Dessert is on its way.
"She's actually on her way home so we can squeeze in a quick lunch before I've got to get back to classes." Emily had to bite back the devious smile on her lips.
"How is she enjoying the acting thing?" He asked.
"She really loves it. And she shines at it."
"Well, you be sure to tell her that your Ma and I will be front and center when she makes her debut on the big screen." He grinned.
Emily drew in a surprised breath. It wasn't her father's kindness that was shocking to her. It was the fact that he had blindly accepted the blonde into their lives with no hesitation.
He loved and supported Alison because she loved and supported Alison. There was no question about whether Alison was family, because anyone Emily loved was family when it came to her parents.
"That's really sweet. I'll let her know."
"She better thank you in her awards speech." He furrowed his brow, though she knew he wasn't being serious.
"Oh, my name will be the first name on her lips." Emily knew it was a guarantee.
That turned her attention back to Alison's cheeky text. Her eyes darted towards the phone again.
"What's on your mind, kiddo?"
Not picturing my girlfriend naked with a sundae bar spread across her body.
"Food." She blurted out without thinking.
She could feel the heat in her cheeks and she silently cursed herself for fumbling over her love for Alison.
I am a dopey love-sick idiot.
"I've got lunch warming on the stove." She recovered quickly.
"What'cha got cooking in the mess hall?" He had an eager expression on his face that had frozen on the screen. "Is it one of your mother's recipes?"
The screen unfroze and he'd leaned a bit further away from the camera.
"No, just leftovers from Pepperdine's finest sous chefs. But mom did share her recipe for roast chicken and red potatoes and I made it a few weeks ago. It's not as good as hers, but it was good enough." Emily had made peace with the fact that her mother's cooking would always be superior.
"I miss your Ma's cooking." A tender smile ticked at the corners of his mouth. "I look forward to having it when I come back."
"How did you swing the time off?" Emily asked.
They hadn't even let him come home after Emily had been abducted and missing for a month…or when she'd been found. After his emergency leave request was denied he'd been livid enough to go AWOL, but Pam told him there was nothing he could do. His response was that he would tear up the entire state looking for her, and beyond if needed. He hated not being there for his family.
"Saved up a bunch of days."
"Well, I can't wait to see you." Emily tugged on a loose thread on a throw pillow.
No matter how old she got, she still felt like a little girl when her dad came home.
She couldn't wait to sit down with her parents and Alison and just have a nice normal dinner. Then again, she had no idea what Alison's schedule looked like. She hoped they could make it work. She needed to reconnect with her parents, and perhaps she could give Alison a sense of family as well.
Her father glanced off-screen at something and when he looked back at her he had a pensive look on his face.
"I've got to go, Emmy."
"I love you, Dad." She wanted to hug him. She wanted him to hug her back.
"I love you, too, baby girl. I'll see you soon."
The call froze and then disconnected.
Emily sighed and closed the laptop.
She needed a minute to breathe. Her throat felt like it was closing up. The nausea made her gag.
The anxiety she felt over her dad's job was overwhelming sometimes. It made her entire body physically ache. She felt a pain shooting through her left shoulder. She tried to rotate it to work out the muscle spasm, but when she moved she felt her chest tighten.
He's fine. He's okay. You JUST got off the call with him.
Breathing was becoming difficult for her. She stood up, trying to shake off the feelings of unease, but the room closed in on her.
She sat back down and closed her eyes, slowly breathing as she counted to ten. Then twenty. Then thirty. By the time she got to fifty her chest was moving normally again.
She opened her eyes and peered at the room.
It was back to normal.
She brushed her fingers through her hair.
It had been a long time since she'd had a panic attack. The constant feeling that she was going to die had kept her company for a while after the Dollhouse.
Her triggers weren't rational. It wasn't the first time she'd had a panic attack after talking to her dad. She worried about him. She felt helpless, and that loss of control landed her right back in the torture chamber Charlotte had built underground. It sent her into fragmented moments of panic, but she'd learned techniques over the years to help.
She flicked her wrists and shook her hands and then started wringing them together, trying let the jittery sensation pass.
Once she felt like she had it under control she managed to stand up without the room swirling around her.
She walked into the kitchen, studying the familiar area.
Familiar areas helped center her mind. Everything was like she'd left it. The cabinets were all closed. Snacks were lined up neatly on the counter. Plates were drying on a drying rack next to the sink.
She reached for the plates and a hand towel and dried them off completely. Then she reached for the take-out boxes she'd used to bring their lunch home and started arranging plates for herself and for Alison.
The normalcy of the routine helped bring her mind back to ease. She always worried about her dad, but she was more on edge lately because of the calls Alison had been receiving.
She grabbed her phone and opened her last text to Caleb. She'd been waiting for him to get back to her about who might be calling Alison.
The last she'd heard was that he had managed to hack into Alison's phone records. He'd also set up an alert system that let him know when an unknown number called Alison. Emily didn't ask for the specific details. She just wanted to put a stop to the calls.
How is it going?
She put her phone down and went back to preparing lunch. Pepperdine had a wide variety of menu items to choose from. From Thai food to pizza to hot and cold sub sandwiches.
Emily had been craving Mexican, but she knew Alison liked lighter lunches. Mexican was one of their favorite weekend foods, because after they ate they took an afternoon nap before they had to go to work.
She inhaled the aroma of the tomato fritters, one of Alison's favorites. She'd gotten them a variety of things, including stuffed veggies with rice, Greek bean soup, and Beef stew. What they didn't eat they would save for leftovers. She had picked up a side salad for both of them made with cucumbers, olives, tomatoes, and feta cheese.
Her phone buzzed on the counter and she saw Caleb's number.
"Hey." Emily answered.
"Hey. Sorry, I've been meaning to follow up. Work has just been chaotic."
She could hear the tension in his voice and she could picture the tight look on his face.
"It's fine. You're doing me a favor. I don't expect you to put this before your job." Emily popped a cherry tomato into her mouth.
"Still. I know it's been on your mind. And I wish I had more for you, but I had a backlog of things I had to take care of. I should know something in the next few days. I have everything I need. I just need to look through it all." He was breathing heavily, probably hustling to get somewhere.
An army of horns sounded, followed by a bunch of people shouting. A typical New York noise to hear in the background. She'd heard it before when talking to Hanna.
"I hate this." Emily pinched the bridge of her nose with her index finger and her thumb. "I hate everything about this. The fact that she's getting these calls. The fact that I violated her privacy…"
"Don't beat yourself up. You know she'd do the exact same thing if she was in your position."
"That doesn't make me feel better." She stared at a picture on her refrigerator.
The photo showcased her and Alison on the beach. Alison was on her back with her arms wrapped around Emily's neck. Max had taken it on a whim. She'd liked it so much that she'd printed out a hard copy and put it on the fridge.
Right next to it was a picture from her childhood with all of her friends back in Rosewood. Alison was in the center. Aria was on her right and Emily was on her left. Spencer was next to Aria. And Hanna was next to Emily with her arm slung over Emily's shoulder. They had all forced smiles for the camera. It showed a stark contrast of who they used to be and who they were now.
"After everything we went through I think it's normal to worry. Someone is clearly harassing her. You wouldn't just stand by and watch it happen if it was happening in person."
"No." Emily managed to laugh, thinking about how she had pulverized Tyler. "I absolutely would not."
"You could always just tell her what we're doing."
"That's what I should have done from the start. But I knew she'd want to keep me out of it because she's worried it will put me in danger." Emily shook her head. "Guess we can leave Rosewood, but Rosewood is never going to leave us."
"It might have nothing to do with Rosewood." Caleb's phone started to cut in and out. He was probably underground.
"Still, that town will always have a hold over us. Even if it does turn out to be some stupid prank…the first place my mind went was Rosewood." Emily looked at the photos on her refrigerator.
There was a brief pause, and for a second Emily thought the call had been dropped. But then Caleb spoke softly,
"You know you can always talk to us about it. Hanna and I are always here for you. Just because we don't talk every day or see each other all the time doesn't mean we don't still care about you…Alison included," he said.
"I know. Thanks, Caleb. And likewise. We all went through so much. Too much. At such a young age." Thinking about how much of their lives they'd lost when they were kids was a hard thing to bear.
"For what it's worth, you're doing the right thing." Caleb seemed so sure of himself. He'd always seemed sure of himself, even in high school. "Even if these calls aren't connected to Rosewood someone could be fixated on her and want to harm her. It happens all the time to people in the spotlight. People have been killed by their fans."
"I thought this conversation was supposed to make me feel better." Emily deadpanned.
"It is. Because I'm going to figure it out, and we'll make sure Alison stays safe. I'll let you know as soon as I have answers." His voice was cutting out again. "…soon…might lose…on subway…"
Seconds later the call dropped, which wasn't a total surprise. She knew Caleb would call back when he had answers. She also knew that whatever those answers were that she was going to worry about the blonde.
If Jason would just call her back…
She was irritated at the older boy. She thought about calling Jason herself and telling him that Alison was getting calls that were taunting her, but that was crossing a line. She refused to do that. Plus, Jason was ignoring his own sister. He wasn't likely to call her back anyway.
Thinking about Jason reminded her of her own protective big brother she had in Toby.
Seeing Toby always calmed her nerves.
She glanced at the clock. She had a little bit of time before Alison got home.
She pulled up FaceTime and hit Toby's contact information.
"I miss your face." Emily smiled into the camera when he answered.
"Hey, hey. To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing my favorite person's smiling face?" He popped on screen.
He was closing up on a job site. She could see wooden beams and stucco behind him.
"Your favorite?" Emily teased with a wink. "I can think of a certain Senate intern you might like a little more than me."
"Different kind of favorites." Since they were on the phone, he couldn't hide the blood rushing to his cheeks, though his beard covered some of it.
"Everything going okay in Rosewood?" She subtly wanted to seek information about whether Charlotte was pulling shenanigans there.
"As far as I know." He wiped his sweaty brow. "How've you been?"
"School and work. Work and school. I feel like an ant just moving from one thing to another." Emily glanced at the food she'd picked out.
"And how is Alison?"
A big smile washed across her face.
"Wow. Going that well?" He asked.
"Guess all we needed to do was all almost die, separate for three years, and then leave Rosewood in the past." Emily thought about how strange their journey had been. "What are you working on?"
She watched him maneuvering through the site until he was outdoors.
"Small cottage. Retirees looking to get some peace and quiet." He rubbed his scraggly man-beard that was somehow both cute and rugged at the same time. "Wouldn't mind a place like this of my own some day."
"You want to become a mountain man?"
"Being alone the past couple of years has helped me find peace in my own company. When Spencer and I broke up it was devastating, but it just wasn't working and we both knew it. Maybe one day…" His eyes wandered off screen. "Maybe we'll get to have the ending you and Alison have. Find our way back to each other."
"You two talk though, right?" Every time Spencer said his name her face lit up.
Emily could tell she still loved him.
"Yeah. When we can find the time in our crazy busy lives. I know it will slow down one day. Then we can try and rekindle things. I think about her a lot." He looked the same way Emily looked when she thought about Alison.
"I can see it happening. I mean if Alison and I can do it, you two can, too."
"Where is your girlfriend? Let me say hi to her." Toby grinned.
"She's not here. She's on her way home so we can have lunch together."
"That's sweet."
His smile briefly helped her forget about the fact that Alison was being harassed.
Something about her expression must have alerted Toby to the fact that there was more on her mind.
"Something wrong in paradise?" He assumed since they were talking about Alison maybe it was a romance thing.
"No…we're great. She's…perfect."
"Then what's with the tiny little creases of worry by your eyes?"
He knew her so well. It wasn't easy to hide things from him.
"Just stressed trying to balance everything." She hated lying to him. She once told Spencer that lying to Toby was like lying to the Dalai Lama. "You know how life can be."
"Mmmhmm…" Toby furrowed his brows and scrutinized her. "You're sure everything is okay?"
No.
I'm having nightmares.
Alison is getting threatening calls.
Charlotte wants all of us dead.
I don't know how to stop any of this.
"Yeah. Just had some bad dreams lately. PTSD flaring up."
Toby nodded in understanding.
"I get it. Spencer has the same problem. What you girls went through was traumatic. And trauma manifests in so many different ways."
"Sometimes I feel like a baby for not being able to move on," she admitted.
"You shouldn't ever feel that way. You shouldn't ever apologize for the way you react to severely traumatic events." He shook his head with a frown. "I know you have the girls to talk to, but if you're ever feeling overwhelmed you can always call me. Day or night. I'm here for you."
"You always make me feel better." She smiled.
"You were my first dance partner and my best friend." He waved it off bashfully.
She loved that he always offered her a soft place to land.
"You're going to be my best man one day." Emily winked.
"You two kids move fast." Toby laughed.
"You know what I mean." She chuckled. "In the future. If things keep going the way they're going."
She wasn't in any rush. For the moment, she was just enjoying the present.
"Yeah, I hear you." He ran his fingers through his hair. "And I'm going to hold you to that. But I'm glad things are going well for you two."
"Enough about us. How are you?"
Toby caught her up on his projects and how her mother was doing as Emily patiently waited for her girlfriend to get home.
They had been talking for nearly ten minutes when a text popped up on her phone.
In the elevator. Be there in a minute.
"Alison's almost home. I've got to go."
"It was good to hear from you." Toby tossed a tool into a tool kit. He was used to quick conversations since everyone stayed so busy. "Take care, Em."
"You too."
They said their goodbyes and Emily put her phone down.
She grabbed two glasses and filled them halfway with ice. Then she grabbed a pitcher of filtered water from her refrigerator and filled the glasses up.
She was putting the water pitcher away when she heard the front door open and then softly close.
"Em?"
"In here!" She closed the refrigerator.
When she turned around she saw Alison walking towards her with a smile on her face.
"This looks great." She eyed the plates on the warmer.
She gave Emily a peck on the lips. Emily reciprocated by tenderly kissing her on the forehead. She was like that. Mild and sweet. It was how their lovemaking always started. Then their kisses would start to grow more urgent.
"You want to eat in here or in the living room?" Emily asked.
"Do you have time to squeeze in some entertainment?" Alison needed to block out her feelings.
She didn't need Emily asking her what was wrong.
She didn't need to have a conversation with her girlfriend about how she was afraid she might be crazy like the rest of her family.
She'd learned to lie from her mother.
She'd gotten her temper from her father.
Who was to say that she wasn't as messed up as her sister and her brother?
What if she snapped?
"Yeah, sure." Emily grabbed their plates.
Alison picked up the glasses and followed her.
Their living room set up had TV trays that they could pull in front of them as they watched their favorite shows.
Emily pulled up a streaming site and clicked on a dark comedy that they had been watching. Ironically, dark comedy was cathartic for them.
Alison stared at the TV blankly as she replayed the conversation she'd had with Aria in her head.
Love and hope…and perhaps a duty of responsibility had blinded Alison to her sister's devious intentions.
She had been apologizing for herself for months now, but she hadn't apologized to herself, and she certainly hadn't forgiven herself. It wreaked havoc on her mind. It had been building up since she left Rosewood. Her feelings were at a boiling point.
Emily realized almost immediately that something was wrong. She reached for the remote and paused the show.
Alison raised her chin and her eyes met Emily's. The brunette regarded her carefully as she studied her face.
"What's up?" Emily's hand was frozen above her plate, her fork dangling precariously above her food.
"What do you mean?" Alison cleared her throat and stuffed a bite of salad in her mouth.
Emily tilted her head and a soft expression washed across her face.
"You know I can read your mind, right?" A patient smile tugged at the brunette's lips.
Her smile always melted Alison's heart. It never failed. It was soft and sweet and had a mixture of innocence, mischief, and radiance. It lit up the entire room.
"Oh?" Alison lifted an intrigued brow. "You can, can you?"
"Mmhmm. And I know something is bothering you. What's wrong?" Emily reached for her hand.
Alison stared at her food, knocking an olive around before finally facing Emily again.
"I talked to Aria today." She stabbed the olive with her fork. "It shook some things loose."
"Like what?"
Alison took a thoughtful breath.
"Like the fact that I've never dealt with how I feel about my sister."
As soon as she said the word sister she froze.
Unresolved anger clawed at her insides.
She couldn't look Emily in the eyes. How could she sit there and whine about Charlotte to someone who'd been brutally tortured by her?
Emily had told her to be honest with her, but Alison found it to be challenging, because every time she brought Charlotte up she could see Emily's pain. She hid it well, but it radiated off of her.
"It's just…stupid drama." Alison tried to wave it off.
"It's not." Emily's tone pulled Alison's focus back to her.
Ire was pulsing off of the brunette in waves. But that anger wasn't directed at her. It was directed at Charlotte.
"She hurt you, too." The ire softened into sympathy. "And I'm willing to bet you've barely even begun to deal with it."
"How do you know that?" How did Emily look at her and just see everything?
Emily thought about her conversation with Toby.
Moving on wasn't easy. She knew that from experience.
"You shouldn't ever apologize for the way you react to severely traumatic events." His words rang true.
"Because it took me over two years to finally begin to deal with it. And I'm still in the very early stages of processing it." Emily licked her lips, something that Alison usually found enticing, but the connotation was different. It struck a nerve in her, because Emily was upset. "Talk to me, Ali. Don't shut down. I'm right here."
"I don't know what to say. Or where to start. I've just buried it…like my mother buried me." Her laugh was angry and sinister.
The words were like a dagger, sharp and unrestrained.
Emily stiffened beside her, and Alison considered how difficult it must be for her to be dragged back in time. Emily had mourned Alison. She had loved Alison perhaps more than all of her friends and family combined.
"My family really fucked me up," she said quietly. "And Charlotte put the final nail in my coffin. I loved her." She grumbled. "And I hate her. I feel so selfish talking about this given the extent of what she put you all through. But she hurt me. She lied to me. She manipulated me. And I've been angry at her, but something I haven't allowed myself to feel is hurt…disappointment. Heartbreak. I saw what my parents molded her in to. I know she's a monster. And that scares me for more than one reason, but mostly because I was raised by the same parents. And I did terrible things. I'm afraid that I'm just like her."
"You're nothing like her." Emily squeezed Alison's hand. "Alison, look at me…"
Alison refused. She pulled her hand away and stubbornly turned her head to hide her face.
"Something happened to me when I stayed back in Rosewood. I don't…I don't really understand it, but I became this person I didn't even recognize. I'd look in the mirror and I'd see a stranger staring back at me. I felt like I was sleepwalking through life. And when I saw Charlotte she chipped away at me, and I didn't even realize it was happening. It wasn't until I saw the cold look in her eyes when she spoke about getting out that I finally woke up. And I realized what was going on. She stole three years of my life. And I let her."
"That's not how it works." Emily shook her head. "You didn't let her do anything. She used your fleeting moment of compassion and squeezed it until she'd choked the life out of it. Because that's what she does. She turns love and empathy against people."
"She makes people crazy, too." Alison balled her hands into fists. "I think she broke me. I um… I've…I've been seeing things…seeing her."
"What?" Emily's fork clanked against her plate, spilling her food when it fell from her hand. She pushed her tray away. "You…saw her?"
"Like…hallucinations. Nightmares that blur into reality. I saw her when we were in the bar that night we came home really drunk. The night I panicked and wanted to come home? But I don't remember how much was real and how much I dreamed."
Alison lowered her fork, too. She'd lost her appetite.
"She threatened us. I thought she attacked us in the parking lot, but then I woke up next to you. After that I called Welby just to be sure. She's still there. But they said I don't have access to talk to her. But I swear…I could swear she's following me. Sometimes I'll see her walking down the street. I thought I saw her on set today, too." Alison couldn't shake the laugh she'd heard in the hallway.
"Do you think she's the one calling you?"
"It's not impossible. But I don't know. They're really strict on the no electronics policy."
"Still nothing from Jason?" Emily hesitated.
"He won't answer my calls." Anger flooded her cheeks. "He's still so mad at me."
Emily's plate scraped up against the tray. The brunette swiftly closed the gap between them and embraced her.
"I'm scared I'm going insane." She buried her head in Emily's chest. "I'm so scared I'm going to lose it. This kind of crazy runs in my family. My mom was a narcissist. Jason is an addict and a pervert. My dad had explosive anger disorder. And Charlotte…" Everything that she'd been holding in poured out of her, "It's in my genes. What if I'm insane, too?"
"You're not. You're not crazy."
"Then why do I feel like I am?" She was irritated, frustrated.
"Because you've been through a massive amount of trauma." Emily pulled her tighter into her chest. "Because she fractured something in you the same way she fractured us. You might not have been in the Dollhouse with us, but you were tortured just the same."
Alison blinked in surprise. She knew what Emily was saying was the truth, but she couldn't compare what her friends went through to what she'd gone through. It wasn't the same.
"I can't look at you without thinking about what she did to you." Alison admitted, her throat burning with raw emotion. "Every time I see your scars…" Her head fell forward and her gaze landed on the floor.
"Hey…" Emily grazed Alison's chin with her fingers and tilted her head up until their eyes met.
The motion was so gentle that it made Alison want to cry. She shook her head, starving off the tears.
"I'm more than what happened to me. And so are you. Your pain is valid, too." Emily cupped Alison's face.
Alison lost herself in Emily's gentle eyes. Her eyes had always been a safe place for her.
"It's like you said. She psychologically gets to you. She lives in my head now, and I can't get her out." Alison uttered breathlessly. "I don't know what to do. And these stupid calls I'm getting aren't helping…"
Emily felt her own guilt biting her.
Alison picked up on it.
She pulled back, studying Emily's features.
"You flinched." Alison's narrowed. "Why did you just hesitate?"
There truly weren't any secrets that could be held between them.
"There is something that I need to tell you…" Emily let out a quiet breath.
"Emily, what did you do?"
If the brunette had put herself in danger she'd lose her mind entirely.
"Nothing that you wouldn't have done for me." Emily's tone was calm and even. "I know what you're thinking, but you don't need to worry. I have been really careful."
"Oh, God…no." Alison cinched her eyes shut and rubbed her temples. "I wanted you to stay out of this…"
"I know. But someone has been torturing you. And if my memory serves me correctly…when I was being tortured you came through for me. We're not alone in this. We have people who care about us…who love us."
And they also happened to know someone who was really good with technology.
"You called Caleb." Alison stared at her.
"I called Caleb." Emily nodded to confirm her suspicions.
"That puts him in danger. Hanna, too. Why would you do that? You didn't think to ask me?" She wasn't angry. She was scared.
Charlotte had threatened to go after the people Alison cared about. She would hurt them just to watch her suffer.
"They're fine. They're happy. They're safe. Cheese probably guards the house like he's some kind of Tiger-God."
That little cat had probably showed up on their doorstep for a reason. Animals were intuitive. And if the cat sensed anything was off he'd let them know.
"Cheese…what?" Alison wasn't sure how to respond.
"The point is…they're okay." Emily flicked her wrist and tried to wave it off. "And we've been very careful. I know I shouldn't have gone behind your back…"
"No. You shouldn't have." Alison glared at her plate of food.
It was hard to be angry given the fact that she was getting increasingly worried about the calls she was getting being related to Charlotte.
"But I'm kind of glad you did." She picked her fork up and scraped it through her salad.
There was a silent pause.
"You are?" Emily peered at her in surprise.
"I don't know if you know this about me…" She had a smirk on her lips, "But sometimes I'm too stubborn to make the right call."
"No way." Emily feigned shock.
"The way you went about it wasn't okay…and I wish you had talked to me. But it was something that needed to happen. I thought I could handle it alone and I was wrong. You were smart enough to reach out for help. That's something that I still struggle with. And I'll never begrudge you for being brave enough to admit when you need help."
"We'll find a better way to communicate." Emily stroked Alison's back.
"Definitely. I don't want another relationship based off of secrets and lies. We're better than that…stronger than that." Alison agreed. "So, catch me up to date on what's happening with our very own Mr. Robot."
Emily huffed out a laugh,
"Hanna called him Steve Jobs and Caleb didn't like that at all. Told her he was Mr. Robot."
"You think he can do it? You think he can figure out the psycho stalking me?"
"I do." Emily nodded. "I believe in Caleb. I know he has some jagged edges, but his heart is real. He cares about those he loves. He's loyal. He was there for Hanna through so much. And he went above and beyond for me. He was really there for me after Lyndon tried to kill me in the lighthouse." Tension radiated from her body like a clenched fist, her past popping up to blindside her.
Alison had tried to shove that memory aside. She'd heard about it on the news. She'd been sitting in a bus station staring at her dwindling savings when the story had come up about Emily being attacked by the stalker who had killed Maya. It had infuriated her.
She'd used the last of her money to take a bus back into Rosewood and sneak in to see her to make sure she was okay. She'd been having a nightmare when she looked in on her. Alison remembered thinking that if the boy had still been alive she would have killed him herself.
She found out the full story when she was sleuthing back in town.
The guy had posed as someone who had known Maya at camp, pretending to be Emily's friend. When he'd made a pass at Emily and she'd rejected him he had kidnapped Emily and Paige and held them hostage in a cabin at a lighthouse inn. Emily had managed to escape and call for help, but he'd caught up to her in the lighthouse. They'd struggled over a knife and Emily had stabbed him in self-defense.
She had been there alone and scared, and that was intolerable to think about.
She could tell by how much Emily's hands were shaking that it still terrified her.
Caleb had gotten there right after the struggle. Lyndon managed to get his hands on the gun that Caleb had brought.
Emily hadn't told the news crews or her friends the truth about what happened in those terrifying moments, but she told Alison after the fact that Caleb had pushed her out of the way and had taken a bullet for her.
Emily had wrestled for the gun and Lyndon was killed in the scuffle. It ate at the brunette's conscience, because no matter how much Lyndon deserved to die…she still took someone's life. And she'd had to watch Caleb suffer while she tried desperately to save him. Her hands had been covered in his blood when the rescue team showed up.
"After the lighthouse Caleb is the only one who was able to make me feel safe. It's hard to explain. I had the girls. I had a lot of support. But Caleb was the only one who understood. He was there." Emily picked at her nail bed. "He cares. He might not outwardly show it, but he does. And he's good at his job. It anyone can do this it's him."
"What if whoever is responsible…" Alison cringed thinking about the fact that Charlotte could be the one pulling the strings, "…finds out? What if something happens to him because of it? Or to Hanna? Or us?"
"It won't. We're not kids anymore. And Caleb is the best." There wasn't a shred of doubt in her tone.
Alison lowered her defenses. Emily seemed so sure of herself. She had come a long way from being the timid young girl she knew in Rosewood. When they were fifteen that confidence would have intimidated Alison. But now that they were older it turned her on.
She had mixed feelings about Emily lying to her, but some of that was offset by the fact that she had been lying to Emily, too.
She had kept Charlotte's threats a secret. She had acted like the phone calls were nothing to worry about. She had potentially put her in danger just by being in her presence.
"I don't like that you lied to me." Alison pulled back, brow knotted together, a semi-scowl on her face.
"I didn't like lying to you." Emily kept her gaze fixed on Alison's eyes, somewhat drawing away the aggravation that Alison was feeling.
"I know why you did it. But I want us to be better. Lies and secrets destroyed us in Rosewood. I don't want to repeat the past."
"You're right." Emily nodded in agreement. She cupped Alison's arm. "I care so much about you. I just don't want to lose you."
Her words weaseled their way into Alison's heart.
"Em, you couldn't lose me if you dropped me off in the middle of nowhere and drove off without leaving me a map. I would find you."
"I wouldn't drop you off in the middle of nowhere." Emily scoffed. "And who needs a map when you have GPS?"
"That's true. Plus you'd probably be likely to hack my phone so you know where I'm at." She took a playful shot at the brunette.
"Without hesitation." Emily admitted with a firm nod. "How else would I protect you from big mean animals that would try to eat you and your crazed fans and uber-stalkers?"
"Where the hell are you dropping me off that all three of those are close by?" Alison snickered.
"California is a weird place."
"It has some of my favorite attractions though." Alison reached up and stroked Emily's face.
It was hard to be angry or upset with her, because she knew Emily's actions weren't malicious.
The brunette would never hurt her. She'd spent her entire life protecting her.
Alison leaned towards Emily with a smile on her face, and before Emily could blink she'd given her a peck on the cheek.
Emily's lips quirked into an amused smile.
"Does that mean you forgive me?"
"I'd forgive you for murder. You know that."
"Aw, I love you, too." Emily reached for a bowl of the Greek bean soup she'd put on the tray to chill. "So, do you want to talk more about how you're feeling?"
"I'm on your couch and you're analyzing me. Is this a weird therapy related kink?" Alison had gotten some of her spunk back.
"We can talk. Or we can eat. Or we can do both. It's up to you how much you feel like talking." She cast a patient look at the blonde.
"What if I don't want to talk about Rosewood anymore?" It had drained her to tell Emily the little that she had.
"We can talk about whatever you want." Emily shrugged.
Alison's eyes darted towards the closed laptop sitting on the end table.
"How is school going?"
Emily had been doing well before Alison had showed up on her doorstep. She wanted to make sure that she wasn't too much of a distraction. Part of their relationship was learning to let each other be independent.
"Not bad." Emily tilted the bowl of soup towards her lips and spooned some into her mouth. After she swallowed she licked her lips and looked at Alison over the rim of the bowl and smiled. "How is set life, Zendaya?"
Alison didn't wave off the comparison, but she was definitely no Zendaya.
"It's very exhausting, but so amazing." Her eyes twinkled with delight.
"My dad can't wait for you to become a movie star. He basically begged me for tickets to the premier of your first film." Emily lowered the soup and carefully spooned another bite into her mouth.
"Yeah?" Alison felt a warm appreciation for Emily and her parents, not just for being supportive of Emily, but for being supportive of her.
"Yeah. I talked to him right before you got home. He's coming home in a few weeks. He wants us to get together." Emily's excitement added to Alison's. "You interested?"
"That's amazing!" Alison exclaimed, but she couldn't hide her nerves. It was important to her that Emily's parents liked her. She didn't want to screw up with them. "And of course! I'd love to see them again."
She could see the wires connecting in Emily's brain, and it was fascinating. Fascinating and endearing. Emily really cared what her parents thought, too.
"I promise to be on my best behavior." Alison took a sip of her drink.
"Just be who you are. They love you because I love you."
The fact that Emily wasn't trying to change her spoke volumes about her character. Alison admired that about her.
They chatted as they ate, taking their time. Alison's phone had been blowing up, but it had been on silent. People loved the photos of the Greek meal she'd posted. Food was always a hit. Food and sex appeal. That was the key to the internet. Humor helped a great deal, too.
Even though Emily wasn't posted on her social media that didn't mean the brunette didn't add anything to her content. Like Alison, people admired the things that Emily brought to the table. Things like sunsets and secret little scenic places that showed the beauty in the world. Emily was good at showing beauty in the darkness.
After they had finished there was a lagging silence between them. The air felt charged with a new kind of energy. They always felt a new form of intimacy when they talked about their past and moved towards their future.
"I'll clean up." Alison reached out and took Emily's empty plate from her.
Her fingers brushed against Emily's, sending a swift electric shock down the brunette's spine. It reminded her of the very first time their fingers had casually brushed together when they were younger.
Alison had always had a hold on her. She had blushed then, and she was still blushing years later.
The blonde didn't miss the way that Emily's cheeks flooded with color or how she was looking at her.
When Alison smiled back at her, her smile reached her eyes. She was genuinely happy. And she was not going to let anything or anyone stand in the way of that.
Charlotte can rot.
She managed to pry Emily's plate away from her. But it was harder prying her eyes from Emily's as she grabbed all the dirty dishes and walked into the kitchen.
Alison placed all the dishes in the sink and took a moment to observe the kitchen. It was so cozy. She was used to mansions and huge spaces. The condo was a breath of fresh air. It felt quaint. Almost domestic.
"I've become a housewife," she muttered to herself.
"A hot housewife." Emily's voice startled Alison as she turned the water on.
When Alison spun around she saw Emily leaning against the doorframe watching her every move.
Alison laughed in embarrassment, but then she realized that she liked the idea of being Emily's wife some day. She liked that Emily was watching her.
"I thought you had a class." Alison's eyes raked over Emily's body. She was so at ease that it was sexy.
"Yeah, in an hour." Emily pushed off of the doorframe and walked over to her.
She grabbed the liquid dish soap and flipped it over, squeezing some into the running water.
"I wash, you dry?" Emily asked, flicking soap bubbles on to Alison's face. "Got to keep your pretty little manicured hands protected."
"I didn't hear you complaining about my pretty little manicured hands when they were all over you last night." Alison mimicked Emily's motion with the soap, blowing bubbles towards her.
"Why do you think I want them protected?" Emily winked at her.
Alison's jaw dropped at the quick retort. She hadn't been expecting the sharp wit, though she certainly should have.
She'd truly met her match in Emily. One minute the sassy brunette was blushing and stuttering over what to say and the next she was cocky and confident. It was the perfect mix. A little sweet. A little naughty.
Emily wasn't blind to the changes in Alison either. She still had the edge she's always had, but there was a vulnerability she'd never had back in Rosewood.
Emily appreciated that Alison was opening up to her. She had grown so much in their three years apart. Emily had always loved her, but respect had been harder for her to earn. But the compassionate and empathetic woman who stood in their kitchen had fully earned every ounce of respect Emily had.
After they finished up in the kitchen they found themselves back in the living room on the couch, curled up together.
Initially they were just watching TV. But then hands started to wander and their kisses had slowly built into something more than just sweet and simple.
Half of their clothing had been removed when Emily's phone started beeping.
A grumpy mutter interrupted their heated passion. Emily sat up and glared at her phone.
Life was constantly moving, and sometimes getting in the way of their perfect moments.
"I was supposed to log on for class ten minutes ago." She grabbed her laptop from beside the couch and opened it up.
"Uh…are you going to put your shirt back on, because I mean…" Alison pointed to the camera.
Emily pecked Alison on the lips.
"The camera stays off during the lecture. I can multitask…" Emily clicked into the virtual link provided by her professor. "We just need to make sure it stays muted…"
Alison snickered.
Emily was by far the most perfect human in existence.
Emily looked back at her with equally shared affection.
Sometimes people just needed to know that their loved ones were there to make things better for them. They had that in each other.
Despite the trouble they were having with the unknown caller, they were on top of the world.
The trouble with being on top of the world was that gravity inevitably sent everything and everyone crashing back to Earth. And the impact was killer. Unfortunately, the higher they were…the harder they fell.
A/N: You might be sensing a theme. Is it psychological torture? Or is it more? Alison needed to deal with her trauma on the show and the progress was never really showed in depth there, so we're gonna get into the emotional depths of it here.
You'll see more Rosewood integrated into the story as well, good and bad...because yes...never let PLL catch you slippin...some scurry creepy shiz happens in this series. And there are going to be things that are gonna have you maaaad AF. But lots of fluff, too. I promise.
As far as our lovers, it was important to me to establish Emison not only as a couple, but as Alison and Emily...two individuals with lives together AND on their own. You see shades of it with Toby learning how to let Spencer do her own thing while he does his. Love is a wonderful thing, but healthy relationships can be a tricky balance if people don't have a tiny bit of independence.
I had fun writing the Aria/Alison scene. It brought back nostalgia.