The pain Steph felt in her heart was indescribable, so painful she could barely breathe. Maxine was gone, forever. That was it. She hadn't even had the chance to say goodbye, to hug her, or tell her how much she loved her one last time.

It wasn't fair, it wasn't right.

She wanted the floor to wrap itself around her body and pull her into the ground. How could she live without Maxine by her side? Maxine was her world, Steph adored her. She had brought joy back into her life. And now she was gone. Just like that. Her heart throbbed and screamed.

Tears streamed down her face as she held Maxine's cold, limp hand. She wanted it all to be a bad dream. She wanted to wake up and find Maxine sleeping peacefully in her bed. She wanted to turn back the clock- to have arrived at the house earlier than she had done, so she could save her. She wanted Maxine back. She wanted what she couldn't have.

It was the kind of thing you expected to see on the news. An innocent young woman- killed by her abusive husband or boyfriend. You'd see a statement from the grieving family, maybe the outcome of the Court Case, and a picture of the man who had taken the life of a promising, beautiful woman. You felt the grief of the family at surface level, as well as their heartbreak. What they were going through was unimaginable. Steph had never imagined that she would be in this position. Maxine was an innocent, beautiful and promising young woman, who had been murdered by her boyfriend. Steph was the grieving Mother. She felt the grief and heartbreak first hand. It was powerful enough to kill her. She wished it would, in a way.

Maxine didn't deserve this. She was a child, just a few weeks away from turning eighteen. She'd had her whole life ahead of her, a bright future in the palm of her hands. Her life had been taken before it had even begun. It wasn't fair. Why Maxine?

The anger Steph felt towards Earl Kelly threatened to eat her alive.

How could he do this?

He was scum.

He was evil.

She'd known he was trouble from the first day she'd met him.

From the second Steph had taken Maxine in, she had vowed to protect her. But she hadn't been able to protect her from Earl Kelly.

But, at the same time, that was a part of Maxine that she loved. Maxine always saw the best in people, no matter what. She'd even seen the best in Earl Kelly. Maxine loved deeply and passionately, Steph had always known that. Earl had taken advantage. And now she was gone, because of him. Steph despised him. She would never forgive him for this.

The 'What ifs' were racing through her mind on a loop, taunting her.

What if it had been her, instead of Maxine? She wished it had been. She wished she was the one with the bullet in her abdomen, instead of Maxine. She wished Earl had shot her instead. Then Maxine would still be alive, and she'd of had a chance at a future.

What if she had just stepped out of the classroom to talk to Maxine when she'd asked her to? She should have been there for Maxine, Inspector or no Inspector. She knew Maxine was upset, and she, as her Mum, her guardian and her friend, should have been there for her. She should have dropped everything. The bollocking she'd have got from Rachel later on would have been worth it, because Maxine would have still been alive. Maxine dropped everything for Steph when she was upset or angry, why hadn't she done the same for her? When it came to her job and Maxine, Maxine should have always come first. And today, she hadn't. And Steph hated herself for being so stupid. Because, if she had just stepped out into that hallway when Maxine had asked her to, she might still be here now.

What if Earl Kelly had never come to Waterloo Road? That was an easy answer. Maxine would still be alive, and Steph wouldn't be kneeling in front of her cold, motionless body.

"Steph? We need to get you out of here so we can tend to Maxine" one of the Paramedics explained, crouching down beside her

Steph shook her head frantically. There was no point, Maxine was gone. She'd watched the life drain from her body with her own eyes. Maxine wasn't coming back; she didn't need medical attention, not anymore. It was too late.

The Paramedics pulled her out of the way, circling and hovering over Maxine. Steph sobbed as she watched them check for a pulse. Her heart broke all over again when she heard the words "She's gone". She couldn't stop the guttural cry that escaped her lips.

She hardly put up a fight as she was escorted out of the living room by the Police. She sat on the stairs, sobbing and shaking.

Janeece walked over to her, her body trembling under the blanket that had been wrapped around her. If Steph was honest, she had forgotten Janeece was here. She felt guilty, knowing Maxine would have told her off for not being there for Janeece when she needed her most. She pulled the young girl onto the steps beside her. The two of them held onto each other tightly as they wept. They were all one another had left. They needed each other.

"Steph? My name is Emily. We've called Janeece's Mum; she is going to meet us at the Police Station. Is there anyone I can call to be with you?"

Steph immediately wanted to tell her to call Maxine. Her name almost rolled off her tongue with ease. When she stopped herself, the severity of her current reality was enough to crush her. She needed to think of someone else. Matt was too busy, Sambucca Kelly had been allowed to return home to her Mum (for now at least). Things would probably change once Earl had been arrested.

Grantly was a good friend, but he wasn't the sympathetic, compassionate type that she needed right now.

And then there was Rachel Mason.

They weren't the closest of friends, she would admit that. But Steph wanted her to know what had happened. She would find out in the next few hours anyway. Maybe this would be a wake-up call for Rachel, even if it was too late. This is what happened when you ignored behaviour like Earl Kelly's.

She gave the Police Woman Rachel's number, explaining that Rachel was the Head Teacher of Waterloo Road. Once the Police Woman had turned away to make the call, Steph turned to Janeece. She needed answers.

"What happened between Maxine and Earl, Janeece?"

Janeece exhaled shakily.

"Earl had, had a baby with a girl from his last school. He was planning on selling it for 10 grand to some weirdo's on the internet. The mother of the baby turned up at school, and Maxine found out from her that Earl had promised her all the things he'd promised Maxine. He'd gotten her pregnant and then convinced her to sell the baby. Maxine couldn't stand it; she was so upset and angry. She dumped Earl, and then she called the Police to tell them where the baby was. Then we came here and... he just turned up... and,"

Janeece started to cry again. Steph held her close, rubbing a hand up and down her arm.

So, that's what Maxine had wanted to talk to her about when she'd walked into her classroom. Suddenly, it made sense.

What Earl had done to that girl and her baby had made Steph herself feel sick, so she dreaded to think how Maxine had felt. She wished more than ever that she'd just gone against trying to be perfect in front of the Inspector and had stepped outside to talk to Maxine. They could have resolved all of this together, they could have had Earl arrested without anyone getting harmed.

But it was all too late.

Steph was proud of Maxine for doing the right thing. She'd stood up to Earl and called the Police. The fear she must have felt. The strength and determination it must have taken. Steph knew that, despite everything, Maxine had loved Earl, and she knew that pushing her feelings to one side to report to him in order to get the baby to safety couldn't have been easy. That was another thing she'd loved about Maxine, she had always fought for what was right. She was brave, she was strong. She was a powerful young woman.

"I'm sorry, Steph. I couldn't save her" Janeece wailed

Steph pulled herself from her thoughts, hugging Janeece tightly. She didn't know what to say, or how to comfort her. She didn't know how to comfort herself. But she did know one thing, and she would do everything to make sure that Janeece knew it.

"It wasn't your fault, Janeece"

...

The sight of the body bag hit Rachel like a harsh, icy gale of wind, threatening to knock her to her knees. Somehow, she managed to stay on her feet, a silent wail escaping her lips as she leaned against Steph's front door. Maxine was in that body bag, she was never coming back. This wasn't a cruel joke or a lie. This was real. Maxine was in that body bag because of her. The tears were threatening to fall, but she refused to let them. This was her fault. She had no right to cry.

She looked down the hallway, watching as Janeece walked towards the front door, a Police Officer by her side. The girl was trembling violently under the blanket that had been wrapped around her shoulders. Rachel placed a hand on her arm as she passed her. She couldn't even begin to imagine how Janeece was feeling. Losing your best friend was one thing, watching them die was another.

Janeece stared at the Head Teacher tearfully before leaving.

Rachel moved along the wall, her eyes falling on the mess in the living room. To her horror, there was blood everywhere. Rachel gripped the wall tightly to steady herself, fighting back tears. This couldn't be happening.

"Are you Rachel Mason?" A female Police Officer asked

Rachel nodded

The Police Officer smiled kindly.

"My name is Emily. We spoke on the phone" she explained

Rachel smiled weakly at her, desperately trying to control the shaking in her legs and the nausea that was bubbling in her stomach.

"We're going to head to the Police Station. As the Head Teacher of Waterloo Road, I assume you knew the victim and perpetrator quite well?" Emily asked

"Not well enough", Rachel thought to herself

Still, she nodded shakily.

"We'll need you to answer some questions, Rachel. Just a few things about Earl" Emily explained

Rachel nodded again, looking over at Steph, who was sobbing on the stairs. Her eyes filled with tears. Steph was grieving because of her. Maxine was dead because of her. Nothing she could do or say would make it better.

"I'll give you two a minute" Emily decided, stepping out of the front door

Rachel gathered herself, walking over to Steph cautiously.

"He should NEVER have been at the school! Anyone else would have slung him out ages ago, but not us! We had to keep him as a little 'Pet Project', to show how progressive we were!" Steph blurted angrily

Rachel sighed as she held onto the wall. She pushed back her tears as she placed a hand on Steph's arm, flinching as the other woman shoved her off angrily.

"Is this bad enough for you now, eh? I WISH HE'D DIED AT BIRTH!... and then Maxine would still be with me" Steph sobbed

Rachel exhaled shakily, the guilt threatening to consume her. This was her fault. She had let Earl Kelly into Waterloo Road, she had ignored his concerning behaviour. She had been adamant that she could improve his behaviour, and that she could change and help him. She had ignored the concerns of the staff. She had ignored the concerns of the students. She had put everyone at risk, because she thought she could prove everyone wrong. And because of that, Maxine Barlow, one of her own students, someone she was supposed to protect, was dead. Steph had every right to hate her. Rachel hated herself. But she wouldn't cry. She didn't have a right to.

This was her fault.

"Come on, Steph. Let's get you out of here" she decided, pulling Steph to her feet, wrapping an arm around her to steady her as she sobbed

Steph suddenly stopped, turning around.

"This was her home! She should have been safe here! She should have been safe with me!" she wailed

Rachel managed to pull her away, biting her lip hard so she wouldn't cry.

The cold December air hit them when they got outside, but neither of them felt the icy chill.

Rachel put Steph into the Police car, before heading back to her own car. She climbed into the driver's seat, closing the door behind her. She exhaled sharply, brushing the tears from her eyes.

When she'd first received the phone call, a part of her had believed that it was a prank, a sick joke. As she'd driven over to Steph's house, she was fully expecting for Steph to frown at her when she arrived. She'd expected Maxine to come to the door to prove that she was ok. Anything would have been better than her current reality.

She hadn't really known what to expect when she'd walked in the doorway. It wasn't for Maxine's body to be carried out in a body bag right in front of her, confronting her with the consequences of her own actions, her ignorance and stubborn nature.

She jumped as her phone started to ring. It was in the cup holder next to her.

She knew it was Eddie calling, desperately trying to get hold of her. She wanted to answer it, she felt bad for leaving him and driving away. She knew he'd be worried sick and that she should just call him. But she wasn't going to. This was her fault. She didn't deserve comfort, or someone to be there for her. She had no right to cry or grieve. Not when this was her fault.

Without a second thought, she started the car, following the two Police cars in the direction of the Police Station.