Three hours had gone by. Three. Whole. Hours.
Eddie had heard nothing from Rachel. No call, no text. Nothing. She had just vanished completely, and Eddie didn't know why. It scared him. It was out of character for her to do something like this. The last time she had disappeared on Eddie, she had been attacked and raped by Stuart Hordley, and Eddie had found her unconscious on her bathroom floor.
There had to be a reasonable explanation, right? Eddie wished he could come up with one to calm his racing mind.
He was worried, especially because she hadn't been feeling well. Even if she was feeling better, she wasn't exactly fit to drive. The nausea and dizziness was there one minute and gone the next, it came on unexpectedly and without warning. It made driving dangerous.
He'd called her at least fifty times now. Every call had gone to voicemail. He'd sent multiple text messages, all had gone unread. He'd even driven around Rochdale, searching for her car. Nothing.
The last time he saw her kept replaying in his mind.
They'd been with Linda in the car park. Rachel's phone had started to ring, she'd walked away to answer it. After that, she'd vanished. Eddie couldn't help but feel that her going AWOL had everything to do with that phone call.
He just wanted to know that she was alright. That she wasn't hurt.
"Have you heard anything?" Philip asked, walking into the kitchen
"Nothing" Eddie sighed, shaking his head
"I'm sure she's ok. She probably just... had an emergency" Philip reasoned
Eddie wanted to believe that. He really did. But he was struggling. She wouldn't dash off without telling him where she was going. A few months ago, when her guard was still up, she would have. But not now.
Had he done something?
Had he said something?
Philip wouldn't admit it, but he was worried too. He was trying to mask it for Eddie's sake. Rachel didn't do things like this, even he knew that.
He'd been planning on going out tonight with his friends, but he'd changed his plans and stayed home with Eddie. He wanted to make sure Rachel was ok. They'd kept themselves occupied. They'd been to the Supermarket to do a food shop, and they'd both sat in the living room, doing homework and marking. They had watched their phones the entire time, hoping for any kind of communication from Rachel. Of course they'd heard nothing, so Eddie was now in the kitchen, making pasta for him and Philip for dinner. He planned to save some for Rachel to have... whenever she decided to turn up.
"Did she not tell you anything at all?" Philip checked, sitting at the table
Eddie shook his head, stirring the pasta.
"Nothing. She got a phone call...and then she just vanished"
Philip sighed.
"I'll give her another hour. If she's not back by then, I'll go out and look for her again" Eddie added
Philip nodded.
Eddie dished up the pasta onto two plates, leaving a third portion on the stove for Rachel. He sat down at the table with Philip, both of them tucking into their dinner. Eddie glanced at the clock. It was 6:30pm. He couldn't help but wonder where Rachel was, what she was doing, if she was safe.
...
One hour later...
Rachel pulled up on the drive, the car grinding to a gentle stop.
She sat there long after the engine stopped, staring at the house. She thought about just driving away again, of leaving Rochdale and never returning. Then she wouldn't have to answer Eddie's endless questions.
It had been the longest four hours of Rachel's life. And yet, at the same time, it had gone by in a complete blur.
There had been questions. So many questions. Questions about Earl, about Maxine, about their relationship. The Police wanted to know why. They wanted to know why Earl had shot Maxine. They wanted to know why Earl Kelly's behaviour hadn't been spotted and reported before now.
Janeece had provided the answer to why Earl had shot Maxine. Rachel had sat with her in the Interview Room, after her Mother had failed to turn up. Rachel now knew about Earl's baby and how he'd planned to sell it. She knew about how Maxine had found out and had broken up with him and had then reported him to the Police. She knew that Earl had showed up to Steph's house, in a calm, but manic rage, with a gun in his hand and had shot Maxine.
All of this could have been prevented.
All of it.
Steph was right. Earl Kelly should never have been let into Waterloo Road. They had been made aware of his violent behaviour from day one. Eddie had called Earl's previous school himself whilst Rachel was enrolling them. She'd known that the reason he was expelled from the other school was because he'd thrown a chair at his teacher. Any other school would have turned him away having heard that. But not Waterloo Road. Rachel had been adamant that if they gave him a chance, Earl would give the school a chance too. Rachel had been adamant she could prove everyone wrong and turn his behaviour around. She'd done it with Bolton, as well as countless other kids. Earl would be no different. Every child deserved a chance, right? At one time, Rachel had firmly believed the answer to that was yes. But now, she wasn't so sure. Because giving Earl Kelly a chance and being so adamant to prove everyone wrong had cost Maxine her life. A student was dead because of her arrogance and desperate need to prove a point. Not everyone wants help, and not everyone can be saved.
There had been so many times that Earl had demonstrated what he was capable of. The fight he'd had with Bolton, him taunting and provoking Tom Clarkson, his disruptive behaviour in class. And of course, the dead birds. That had been the biggest clue of all. How had she been so naive? Of course a cat hadn't killed those birds! She'd known that, Tom and almost all the other staff had told her that. And she'd ignored them. She had failed, she had failed massively. Her failures had cost a student their life. The guilt was just too much. It clouded her mind, threatening to envelop her and drown her. She wished it would. It was what she deserved.
Steph was angry with her. She had refused to talk to her, or to look her in the eye at the Police Station. Steph despised her. And Rachel didn't blame her, she had every right. Maxine was dead because of her. Rachel wished it had been her, instead of Maxine.
As she sat in the car, staring at the house, she began to shiver. Now the engine had stopped, and the heating wasn't blasting at her, the cold wind from outside had started to creep in. She needed to get out of the car, not to get warm; she didn't think she deserved that. She needed to face Eddie and his questions, as well as his frustration and concern. She had to tell him what had happened. She didn't know if she could bring herself to, but she had to.
Slowly, she got out of the car, closing the door carefully. She groaned as a wave of dizziness and nausea coursed through her. She wasn't sure if the cause of it was nerves, or a continuation of whatever sickness bug she seemed to have. Probably both.
The closer she got to her front door, the more nervous she became. Whilst she longed to be Eddie's arms, she knew she didn't deserve to be. For two reasons.
One, Maxine was dead because of her. If Steph had no one to comfort her, why should she?
And two, for leaving Eddie and driving away with no explanation and ignoring his calls. He had every right to be angry with her.
When she stepped through the front door, the warmth hit her instantly. She closed the door quietly, pressing her body against it as she let out a heavy and shaky sigh. She was safe when she didn't deserve to be. She was safe when Maxine wasn't. It wasn't fair, it wasn't right.
Eddie, who was in the kitchen, washing the dishes, heard the front door open and close. He dashed into the hallway.
When his eyes fell on Rachel, a mixture of emotions rushed through him. Relief, confusion, frustration. He didn't know whether to hug her, or question her. His mouth seemed to make the decision for him.
"Rach! Where the hell have you been?!"
She couldn't look him in the eye, it was too painful. She could feel the anger radiating off him. Whilst it was mixed with relief, it only made her sink further into her guilt.
"I had to... go" she mumbled, her eyes glued to her shoes
Eddie frowned.
"Go? Go where, Rach? Where did you 'have to' go? What was so important that you couldn't answer the damn phone?!" he questioned
Rachel envied Eddie in a way. He was completely oblivious to the events that had unfolded in the last few hours. Maybe it was better for him to not know and to just let him be angry. It would be easier than having to tell him the truth. It wouldn't matter if she told him or not, he would find out soon anyway.
"Rach? Will you please just answer me!" he huffed impatiently
She finally lifted her head to look at him. His eyes were burning into hers, searching for answers.
His anger melted away when he saw the tears in her deep, brown eyes. She was white as a sheet. Something was wrong. Something had happened. She didn't need his anger, she needed his comfort. She needed him to be there for her.
As her lip started to tremble, and her body started to shake, Eddie instinctively held out his arms for her. Rachel fell into them, sobbing uncontrollably against his chest. Eddie held onto her tightly as her legs gave out. He stroked her hair gently, shushing her softly as she wept and breathed heavily. He sank to the floor with her, pulling her properly into his arms.
As she fought for breath, Rachel felt the bile rising in her throat. Before she could stop it, she vomited violently onto the carpet, her breathing becoming wheezy.
Eddie immediately lifted her into his arms, carrying her into the living room. He laid her carefully onto the sofa, wrapping a blanket around her shaking frame. He passed her the bin, rubbing her shoulder gently as she hurled into it.
Philip had heard the commotion and dashed down the stairs. He stood in the doorway of the living room, watching on in concern as his Auntie threw up.
Eddie turned to him.
"Can you get a glass of water please?" he requested
Philip nodded, running into the kitchen.
When Philip came back a few minutes later, a glass of water in hand, Rachel had finally stopped being sick and was dry heaving. Philip placed the glass of water carefully on the coffee table, before heading back upstairs to leave the two of them to talk.
Eddie knelt down in front of the sofa beside Rachel. She gazed at him tearfully as he brushed the hair away from her clammy forehead. He smiled at her reassuringly, intertwining her hand with his.
"Are you ok?" he asked
She nodded tentatively, taking some deep breaths.
"Rach, what's happened?"
She exhaled shakily, her eyes filling with tears again. It only made Eddie more concerned.
"Rach, come on, talk to me, please?" he begged, squeezing her hand gently
Rachel sighed. How could she tell him? What was she supposed to say? He needed to know, but she wasn't sure she could bring herself to say the words.
"Rach, please?" he pleaded, tucking her hair back behind her ear
"Maxine is dead" she blurted
Eddie stared at her for a moment. He wasn't sure he'd heard correctly.
"What are you talking about?" he questioned with a frown
"Maxine is dead... Earl shot her" she told him
Eddie didn't want to believe it. This couldn't be right, could it?
But judging by the shocked and traumatised state Rachel was currently in, he knew it was real.
Rachel watched as Eddie contemplated her words. She knew he had questions. She needed to answer them.
"The phone call I got... it was from the Police. They were at Steph's house. Maxine had broken up with Earl after she'd found out something about him. He turned up to the house where Maxine and Janeece were, and he just... shot her. By the time Steph got there it was too late. She died, Eddie. Wh-when I got there, they were carrying her out in a body bag"
She let out a strangled sob as Eddie pulled her into his arms.
"What was the thing Maxine found out about Earl?" he asked, rubbing her back gently as he held her
Rachel sighed. She knew he was going to ask that. If she was honest, she wasn't sure if she could tell him. He'd be as disgusted by it as she was. But she was still trying to process and make sense of it all. Telling and Eddie and talking it through with him would help her with that. And, if a small handful of people knew the facts, it might stop the rumour mill from going round. So she told him about Earl's baby, as well as his plan to sell it.
As she expected, he was disgusted. Anyone with a conscience would be.
"Christ, Rach" he breathed once she'd finished explaining
He really couldn't believe it, any of it. Just a few hours ago, he'd defended Earl to Matt, telling him to 'Give Earl a break' after he'd heard Matt criticizing him.
He'd really thought they'd been making progress with Earl. He had genuinely believed that his behaviour had turned around, that he was changing for the better. How had he got it so wrong?
He hadn't seen it coming, and he knew Rachel hadn't either. And it wasn't like they hadn't had warning before now. They'd seen Earl's violent tendencies first hand. And they'd ignored it. He had ignored it. He was responsible for Earl. He had been in charge of trying to turn his behaviour around. And it seemed he'd failed, because Maxine was dead.
"It's my fault. It's all my fault" Rachel blurted, pulling Eddie from his thoughts
Eddie pulled apart from her. The look on her face threatened to break his heart. He tilted her chin so her teary eyes were locked with his.
"This was NOT your fault, Rach" he told her firmly
She shook her head.
"It is, Eddie. I had so many warnings from day one. From his last school, from him fighting with Bolton, provoking Tom and him... killing those birds. So many warnings, Eddie, so many times I could and should have excluded him and didn't. I kept him at Waterloo Road because I was adamant I could prove everyone wrong and turn his behaviour around. And Maxine has paid the price for that"
"Rachel, we made the decision to let Earl stay together. We dealt with his behaviour together. Be honest with yourself, Rach, it wouldn't have made a difference if we'd excluded him or not. He still would have hurt someone, maybe multiple people if we'd forced him out of Waterloo Road. He could have gone after Steph for keeping Maxine away from him. He could have gone after Tom, or Davina,"
"It could have been you" she whispered
She wasn't wrong. It could have very easily have been Eddie, just as it could have been Steph or Tom. The thought of it made her stomach start to churn again.
"And it could have been you, Rach"
She nodded. She wished it had been.
"It could have been any of us, Eddie. Why did it have to be Maxine?" she sobbed
Eddie sighed, biting back his own tears as he pulled her into his arms. He didn't have an answer to that, and he wasn't sure it would help if he did anyway.
"We'll get through this, Rach, together" he promised
She nodded, unconvinced. Nothing could fix this. The damage she'd caused was detrimental and irreparable.
As she sat back against the arm of the sofa, she immediately began to feel sick again. She groaned, the bile rising in her throat.
"Are you ok?" Eddie asked, noticing she'd suddenly become deathly pale again
Before she could answer him, she grabbed the bin next to her, vomiting into it. Eddie sighed inwardly, rubbing his hand up and down her back.
Thankfully, it stopped as quickly as it had started. Rachel whimpered, placing a hand to her clammy forehead as she lay back against the cushions. Eddie grabbed the glass of water off the coffee table, handing it to her. She took it from him carefully, sipping it slowly.
"You need to eat something, Rach. I made pasta for me and Philip, I saved you some, but I don't think you'll want it now" he explained
Rachel shook her head. She definitely didn't want pasta.
"What about some plain boiled rice?" he suggested
She nodded.
Eddie stood up, heading into the kitchen. He closed the door behind him, a heavy sigh escaping his lips.
He couldn't believe it.
Maxine was dead.
Earl had shot her.
Eddie had genuinely believed that Earl Kelly's behaviour was turning around. He had truly believed that Earl hadn't killed those birds. But he had. Of course he had.
Eddie had been responsible for Earl. He had been sure he could turn his behaviour around. And now, Maxine was dead. How had he got it so wrong? The signs of his violent behaviour had been staring him in the face the whole time, and he'd missed it. And now, Maxine was dead.
This wasn't Rachel's fault. Not at all. It was his. Completely his. He'd promised Rachel he could turn Earl Kelly's behaviour around. And he had let her down.
He'd let Maxine down too.