Rachel paused as she drove up to the gates of Waterloo Road. She pushed back the tears as her eyes fell on the memorial the students had put together just outside the gates. Thousands of flowers, hand-written goodbye messages, photos and teddy bears were scattered along the fence. Eddie had told her about the memorial and how the students had spent their time putting it together. It had filled her heart with pride knowing that they had all come together in their grief to do something in memory of a beloved student.

Her eyes wandered over to the many messages and photos. The guilt grew stronger as she read each message and saw every photo of Maxine smiling and having fun. The memorial was a reminder of her failure to protect Maxine. A student was dead because of her. Maxine was dead because of her.

The urge to reverse and drive away from the school, from Rochdale, from Eddie and all of her problems was overwhelming. Her heart filled with dread as she thought about the upcoming events of today. Facing the staff, Steph especially. The staff had warned her time and time again about Earl, and she had ignored them because she thought she knew better. They'd been right all along. And now Maxine was dead. Steph would never forgive her, Rachel knew that, and she didn't blame her one bit.

She had to face the students too. The thought of that made her feel sick. It had been her job to protect them, and she had failed them. Because of her, Maxine's life had ended before it had even begun. She would never take her A-level exams, never go to University. She'd never get married or have children if she wanted them. Maxine had lost her future, because her Head Teacher had failed to protect her. How would the students, staff and the LEA ever trust her again?

That was why she was resigning. She had made the decision the minute she had seen Maxine being carried out of Steph's house in a body bag. It was the right thing to do. She had failed as a Head Teacher. The school was better off with someone else in charge. Rachel didn't trust herself anymore, or her decisions. Her career in education was over. The journalist who had written that article about her had been right; she was a failure, a coward and a danger to the students.

Maybe it was for the best, to just leave now without a word and never come back. She could go abroad, live somewhere where no one knew her name or her past. She could start fresh.

No.

She had to clear up her mess. This was her fault after all. She refused to be a coward and run away from her problems. She owed it to Maxine. If she resigned now and tied up all the loose ends, then she could go. Running away now wouldn't fix anything. Maxine's death would follow her wherever she went, whatever she did. At least if she resigned and did things in the proper way, it would give her a little bit of closure.

She parked her car in her usual parking space. To say it was 7:15AM, the playground and car park were quiet. Usually there would be a few members of staff starting to arrive.

Rachel sat there, unclipping her seatbelt as she leaned her head against the window. She was tired, there was no denying that. Her head was pounding against her skull, and the nausea bubbled in her stomach. The pregnancy seemed to be draining all of her energy. Pregnancy was a magical experience, or so she'd been told in the past. But it also seemed to be physically and emotionally demanding too.

If she was honest, she still couldn't believe Eddie was by her side. How could he still love her after what had happened?

Even though his initial reaction to the pregnancy had been positive, Rachel had expected him to have changed his mind and to have upped and left her by now. After Maxine's death, which she had caused, it was what she deserved.

And yet, somehow, Eddie was still by her side, patient and loving as ever, even though she had shut him out and distanced herself. She wanted to let him in. She wanted to let him comfort her. But she couldn't. She didn't deserve him. She didn't deserve to be carrying his child either.

Rachel wanted to be happy about the life growing inside her. Deep down, she was. She wanted to be making plans to go and turn the spare room into a nursery and to be thinking about baby names. She wanted to be daydreaming about her future with Eddie and their little one. But she couldn't. Not right now. It was too much.

If anything, she was scared. How could she be a Mother when a student, who had been under her care, had been killed? How could she protect her child, when she hadn't protected Maxine?

Before she knew what was happening, the passenger door of the car flung open. She was a little relieved when she saw it was Eddie sitting down next to her, not some random stranger. She hadn't even registered that his car was now parked next to hers.

Her relief quickly turned to dread when she saw the way he was looking at her. He was searching for answers. Why couldn't he just give her a break?

"Eddie! Get out! I want to be on my own!" she huffed

She could feel him glaring at her. His demeanour had changed from when she had last seen him less than half an hour ago. He wasn't just concerned anymore, he was angry.

"I think we need to talk, don't you?" he spat

"Eddie,"

Eddie held a hand up to silence her. Rachel found herself obeying him, not wanting to anger him further.

"When were you going to tell me about this?" he questioned, holding up a folded piece of A4 paper

When she frowned at him, he shoved the piece of paper into her hand with a scoff. Rachel unfolded it, her eyes falling on the resignation letter she had typed up this morning. She sighed heavily. It was her turn to be angry now.

"You had no right to go through my paperwork and read that!" she snapped defensively

"I didn't have to, Rach! YOU left it on the kitchen table for EVERYONE to see! Philip found it and showed it to me" he huffed

She turned away from him to look out of the window, biting her lip hard to suppress the tears that wanted to escape. She hadn't wanted Eddie to find out this way. She had been planning on telling him of course. It was just finding the right time.

"It's for the best, Eddie" she whispered

Eddie stared at her in disbelief. He was hoping this was a decision she was still considering and that maybe she would change her mind once she'd thought about it. But as he looked at her, he realised her mind was already made up. He wasn't going to stand for it though.

"Rach, we have just spent the last week putting this school back together,"

"No, we haven't, Eddie- YOU have! I've done nothing, you've done all of it, which is exactly why this place is better off without me, and why it's right for me to go now. If I'd upped and left last week then yes, I would have failed the kids. But you've been in charge for the week and have put everything back into place yourself without me"

"Rach, you've been ill. We all get ill. That doesn't mean you're not capable of running this place! I can and will catch you up on everything"

Rachel shook her head.

"It's too late. I've made my decision. I'm resigning"

"What are you going to do instead? Rachel, you love this place! You know you do! You can't leave!" he reasoned

"I'm leaving because I'm not good enough, Eddie! It's my fault Maxine is dead. No one else's but mine. I... I don't trust my own decisions anymore"

"Rach, please, you can't leave! The kids love you, they need you... I need,"

"Eddie! One of our students is dead because I failed to protect them!" she cried, cutting him off mid-sentence

"Rach, this was not your fault! If it is, then we're both to blame! I didn't take any notice of Earl's behaviour either. We made the decision to let him stay here together!"

Rachel shook her head.

"It doesn't matter anymore. I'm resigning and today will be my last day. That's final"

Eddie huffed, shaking his head in disbelief.

"And what about us?" he asked

Rachel glanced at him tearfully before moving her gaze to her hands.

"You're better off without me" she mumbled

"Rach," he sighed, reaching for her hand

She flinched, pulling away from him.

"I don't deserve you, Eddie. I don't deserve to be a Mother to our baby,"

She exhaled shakily.

"I'm poison, Eddie. I destroy everything I touch" she blurted, her lip trembling violently as tears streamed down her cheeks

Eddie knew where this was heading. She was going to leave him, she was going to try and break up with him. But he wasn't going to let it happen. Because he knew it wasn't what she wanted.

"Rach, I'm not giving up on you, and I sure as hell am not giving up on us!"

Rachel scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"I'm pregnant with your baby, Eddie! Why aren't you running a mile?" She screamed

"Because, Rach, I love you. I love our baby. I wanted this just as much as you did. I would never, ever up and leave you! It hurts that you'd even think I'd do something like that!"

There was silence. Eddie could feel Rachel quietly sobbing in the seat next to him.

"I love you, Rach" he told her

Rachel lifted her head, staring at him tearfully. She wanted to say it back, she really did. But she didn't deserve to love a man like Eddie Lawson, or to be loved by him.

"Then you're a fool"

With that, she stormed out of the car, slamming the door behind her.