Hello Everyone and Welcome Back!
To anyone who is out there still part of this fandom and reading these stories, thank you for all the support to all the writers here!
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Chapter revised for grammar and minor rewrites*
B. M. Adams
Xoxo...
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from R&I, just this plot and OCs
Megan's POV
"Megan, are you aware that we're just leaving for two weeks, not moving out" Jane complained when she came inside my room and looked at my suitcase, which to her accordings, was way too big for just two weeks.
I laughed "Jane, this is just the bare and necessary" I justified, chuckling slightly "And I just finished," I said, zipping up the zipper of the case.
She just stood there and threw her hands in the air "You know what. You're old enough to know what to pack but you're the one carrying with all this" she said.
"Yes, ma'am," I said and laughed at her exaggerated mannerisms towards my totally acceptable suitcase size.
"I can't believe this" As she left my room to go downstairs to meet Maura, I heard Jane exclaim incredulously "There's two of you!" she finished horrified, referring to Maura's suitcases.
Maura laughed "Just the bare and necessary Jane" she excused us. I laughed coming downstairs with my suitcase in hand
"I'm, under any means, helping you two carry those monster suitcases" Jane stated while Maura and I laughed.
Jane went back to the upper floor to help the kids and meanwhile, Maura and I went to the kitchen and just sat on the breakfast bar, waiting for the rest to come down and make our way to the airport. Not long after we were all in the SUV and going towards the airport. Both kids were very excited, laughing, jumping and talking nonstop about how awesome this vacation was going to be. Even though Lily wasn't so excited about the 3-plus hours of flight.
when we finally made it through security, I needed to take a walk and be alone for a little while "I'm going to the restroom" I announced and stood up from the bench where we were all sitting. I walked to the nearest toilet and simply splashed some water on my face. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I could just stare at the bags under my eyes. Lately sleeping had been something hard to do. Since they told us where we were going many memories had been resurging. That beach held many memories that I had not even thought about until now. Staring at the face in the glass I decided to, yet again, park those thoughts aside and go back to the rest of the Rizzoli-Isles'.
They were all sitting, Jane was reading a book with Lily on her lap, Lucas was on his portable console with Maura by his side probably playing an educative game Maura approved, and she was checking her email on her laptop. I slowly just sat on the chair next to Maura and just stared to check on my phone, as if nothing was happening. With the corner of my eye, I could see the look both Jane and Maura shared. They obviously knew something was going on but didn't say anything.
The boarding process started and when our boarding group was called we went to the gate and through the tunnel, getting on the plane, we quickly found our seats. I placed my carry-on in the upper compartment and my backpack on the floor, under the chair in front.
"Sweetheart, if you like we can change sit, you'll be dealing with Lily and she doesn't really love flights" Jane spoke.
I smiled "Don't worry, Jane. I think I can handle it"
She chuckled "If you need help, kick the sit, I'm in front of you"
"Loud and clear" I laughed too and looked at the girl on the floor "You want to go by the window?" I offered but the girl just shook her head. I sat on my seat and Lily followed me. I helped her with her seat belt. I noticed how tense and scared she looked.
"Lily, meet Mr. Bear" I smiled pulling my old, beloved teddy bear from my bag. "Someone told me that you don't really love flights. Is that true?" I asked
The girl nodded but giggled slightly "You know, when I was your age I hated flying as well, but as long as Mr. Bear was with me flying wasn't that bad and well, I think he will help you too" I said handing the teddy bear to the girl. She grabbed it and hugged the toy "Thanks Meggie" the girl whispered barely audible.
The girl kept on getting increasingly nervous as the take-off got closer. Every noise made her jump "Why flying scares you, Lily? I asked her.
Lily shrugged "Too noisy" she said in a shy and really soft voice. Truth was the girl wasn't a big fan of noises. Let alone the buzzing and the sharp sounds a plane makes.
"I think I have a solution" I, once again looked in my bag for my headphones and iPod. "I think this can help you with that," I said placing the headphones on her head and playing some music to try to relax the tense girl.
The girl visibly relaxed and looked at me "Is it better now?" I asked her separating the headphones from her ear. The girl shyly nodded and hugged the bear tightly. "Good to know," I said, placing the earpiece again on her ear, she remained really quiet but calm until the plane started taxying towards the head of the airstrip. She then just grabbed my hand and squished her eyes close. I held onto her hand while the plane sped up through the airstrip and while the plane reached our cruising height. Not much after I decided to stand up and go to the toilet but before I could do so Lily looked at me pleading.
"Don't go" she pleaded whispering.
"I'll be back in two minutes, just go to the toilet," I said. The girl just let go of my hand and went back to hug the teddy in her arms.
I started walking down the aisle towards the line of people waiting to use the toilette and when I got to the line I noticed Jane behind me.
"Hey, Jane," I said, somehow knowing what she was going to say,
"Hey, kid. You ok?" she asked.
I nodded "Pretty good, yes" I answered her.
She sighed "I just wanted to thank you for being so sweet with Lily. We really appreciated" she said heartfeltly "You know, it's the first time she doesn't end up crying. The headphones idea was really smart" she stated
"I'm glad I could help" I simply said, smiling shyly.
She smiled and kissed my temple "My sweetheart" she said and I couldn't help but smile at the comment. "Hey, you next" she said, referring to the person that just got out of the bathroom.
"You know, they say 'Age before beauty'" I joked, moving myself to the side to give Jane space to move to the cubicle.
She widely opened her eyes "Excuse me! Young lady" she said offended "Did you just call me old?"
I only laughed. She playfully slapped me on my arm "You're dead" she said.
I winked at her and got inside the other cubicle. Getting out of it I went directly to my seat. Going back to it I noticed a bit of turbulence coming. The plane was moving a bit more now. As if I was predicting it, the pilot announced turbulence zoned ahead of us and the 'fasten your sit belt' sign turned on. Nobody likes turbulence but I knew someone especially wouldn't like it. I rapidly walked to my seat and again, as if I could predict the future the girl was again, tense and really nervous, her eyes red and about to cry.
I sat and fastened my seat belt "I don't like turbulence either, and you know what always helped me is to concentrate really, really hard on the music I was listening to, can you do that?" I advised the little girl, in an attempt to ease her fear. Lily just nodded her head and squished her eyes, hugging the teddy bear against her upper body.
Fortunately, the turbulence didn't last long and neither did the flight. We landed in Miami and soon were out of the airport, carrying our luggage towards our rental. We load everything on the SUV and head up to Maura's parents' beach house. The drive took at least 2 hours but finally, around 4 pm we arrived at the house. A big, Victorian-styled house; a perfectly neatly organized front yard and also painted perfectly. It indeed, looked like Maura's parents' house. I looked down the road and as I spotted the house at the end of the street the yearning on my face was probably evident. The smell of the salty air and the freshly mowed lawns, the chirping of the birds and the squawk of the seagulls; everything was just bringing too many memories.
"Ok, troops. Go and choose rooms" Jane announced followed by Lily and Lucas running upstairs. I kept on standing in the middle of the entrance looking around at the surroundings, completely zoned out.
"Megan… Megan!" Jane called me, bringing me out of my memories.
"Yeah?" I said.
"You're coming in or would you like to bring you the tent" she joked.
I chuckled and walked towards her, she rounded me with her arms and we walked inside the house. The interior was beautiful and sublimely decorated. I decided to stop daydreaming and help unload the ton of stuff we had on the SUV. When everything was out of the car Maura showed me the bedroom that would be mine for the next 2 weeks. The room was pretty and classy, and mostly soft and cream colours but really nicely set up. The view was amazing, it was the same view I remembered.
"Well, I hope you like it," Maura said smiling.
"It's really nice," I said, not taking my eyes off of the window view.
"I'm glad," she said giving me a sideway hug. I smiled at her. We just enjoyed the sight for a few seconds "Why don't you and I go to do some grocery shopping?" she asked me.
I looked at her "Sure" I said. We went downstairs and notified Jane that we would be going to do some shopping. Maura grabbed the keys and we both hit the road again towards the supermarket.
While we finished our quick run in the grocery store Maura had the idea to do something special for dessert, so she sent me to look for the ingredients to make a healthy upside-down pineapple cake. After I picked up everything on the list Maura gave me for the cake, I found her at the register, already placing the items on the band. "Oh! There you are" she said when I approached and placed the items on the band.
"Hello, good evening, Ladies," the checkout girl said politely. Both Maura and I returned the gesture. "And may I say that I love your hair colour. I believe it runs in the family" she smiled at us.
I remained frozen but felt Maura's eyes on me. When I looked at her I saw the smile on her face "Yes, we are a lot alike" she said somehow proudly. She then looked at me and rounded me with her arm, giving me a light squish.
We finished packing and paying for the things we bought and went to the car, we loaded everything in the trunk and jumped in it. " I thought you'd like this," she said. I turned my gaze towards her and looked at the package of sour gummy worms in her hand. I was puzzled about how she could've known I love sour gummy worms. Since I've been living with them I'm pretty sure I haven't eaten them.
"Don't be that surprise, I know you're not a fan of sweets and you love gummies" she said, sure about her words "I just put two and two together" she laughed "Jane's not the only detective in the family" she smirked and winked at me.
I smiled back and grabbed the bag from her hand "Thanks Maura" I said truthfully. I wasn't actually thanking her for the actual bag of candy but for the attention she always paid to me.
"You don't need to thank me; that is my job" she answered just as if she had known what I was thinking.
Again, I shyly smiled "Anyway, thank you" I repeated looking at her eyes this time.
"You welcome, sweetie," she said kissing my cheek.
We arrived at the house and by the time the sun was setting. We saw Jane and the kids playing with the sand at the beach and the twilight in the sky was beautiful. Maura and I finished quickly putting what we bought away in the cupboards and fridge.
"Come with me, I want to show you something," she said and grabbed my hand, leading me upstairs. We went to a little balcony that was inside the master bedroom from which we could see the sunset, the whole beach and Jane playing with the kids whose laughter could be heard from our position
"This is the best sit in the house" Maura said, standing by my side.
I smiled "I can see!" I said not taking my eyes from the horizon.
We just remained silent, simply enjoying the company and the view. How the sun appeared to be drowning in the ocean was relaxing and that coupled with the sound of the crashing waves against the shore was so relaxing but also it, again, brought up many memories. I closed my eyes to prevent the tears in them from dropping down my cheeks. I took a deep breath afterwards and regained the strength to keep my tears at bay.
"Why don't you and I go to the kitchen and make dinner together?" Maura asked. I just nodded and made my way down to the kitchen. We worked in relative silence, just making a simple lasagna and some salad dinner.
After eating I just needed to be alone. So I just excused myself and left the room, making up that I was tired because of the trip and wanted to turn in soon. They did look suspicious but let me go. We just said good night and I went up to my room, finally.
Maura's POV
After an exhausting but rewarding day, we were all in bed. The kids were tired after a long day of airports, car trips and playing on the beach. Jane was on her phone checking something and I was just, as every night, reading a book.
"Do you think Megan is ok?" Jane asked suddenly.
I took my glasses from my face and put the nook down. I sighed deeply "Well, she's been certainly even quieter than usual" I answered.
"That too, but also she's been like distracted ever since we got here" Jane commented.
I thought for a few seconds about Jane's train of thought "Even though I don't want to guess, she has been taciturn lately" I said.
"I don't know but I feel that it has to do with being here" Jane said, staring at the wall opposite to the bed after a few minutes of silence.
"Care to explain?" I said looking directly at her.
"My gut is telling me that this place might be bringing some memories" Jane explained "Maybe she used to come here during summer with her family. I don't know but I can see a lot of sadness in her eyes" Jane finished.
"You know I don't like to guess, but I have to hypothesize I would say that she might be affected by the redemption effect," I said and noticed the questioning look on my wife's gorgeous face "Maybe this place brings her both negatives and positives event that happened in the past and those are triggering many emotions that are making her long her family and her old life. All of the changes she had suffered lately might have made her think she has changed for good and not exactly for the better" I explained sadly.
Jane sighed and rubbed her forehead "Anything we can do to help her?" she asked.
"If she's longing for her family and life before all this happened there's not much we can do. Just keep on loving her through it and reassuring her that we'll do anything possible to make her feel better" I answered, doubtful of what to do to help our girl.
Jane nodded and kissed me "We surely can do that and some more" she said.
"Yes, we will" I agreed "We should sleep, tomorrow will be an eventful day" I finished.
"Goodnight, my love," Jane said, kissing tenderly my lips.
I said goodnight to her and reciprocated her kiss. We both then drifted off to sleep tangled in each other's arms. After a while of being asleep, I woke up to the sound of a door opening, followed by the squeaky noise of the wooden floor, I waited thinking it was Lily or Lucas but after a few minutes no one came inside our room and I heard the sliding door from the terrace opening. Slowly I untangled myself from Jane's embrace and went to the bathroom to put on my bathrobe, getting out of the room I noticed Megan's door opened and looked through the window of the room after I got inside. She was sitting in one of the chairs not moving, just sitting there, staring at the horizon. I started to worry and went downstairs as silently as possible.
When I reached the bottom of the stairs I could hear sniffling coming from the terrace and my heart couldn't help but ache for her. I decided to leave her alone for a little bit while I made some hot chocolate for her. While whisking the mix I was just thinking what might have made her so upset. I went out and placed the mugs on the little table between Megan's chair and the one I was about to sit at.
"Took you a while" she said not taking her gaze from the horizon.
I laughed softly "Perfection needs time" I answered and sat on the chair. She remained silent, never looking at anything else but the dark silhouette of the sea. Silently I sipped on the hot beverage thinking in a way to initiate a conversation. After a few more sips I decided to just ask her "So, what made you come out here at 2 in the morning?" I asked.
She just shrugged and shook her head. I looked at her side face and could just notice how her eyes were red, most likely from the tears she was strongly trying to keep inside, I sighed at her "Sweetheart, is there anything bothering you?" I decided to confront the situation directly "Since we arrived we have noticed you are… sad" I said, worry creeping into the pit of my stomach.
The girl turned her head towards me and looked at me directly in the eyes. Her eyes showed a great amount of pain and sadness. He opened her mouth to say something but no words came out of it "You don't have to say anything you don't want to but I just want you to know that you can tell us anything, it doesn't matter what, we are here to be with you and help you through it" I said grabbing her hand in mine.
The girl looked at me and bit her lip. Clearly, I could see that she was debating whether to tell me what was on her mind or not. Again, the girl turned her face and looked at the horizon, sighing deeply "I just... just had a dream" she said not sounding very convincing "Well, more like a memory, I guess" she said after a few seconds of silence.
I quizzically looked but before I could say anything she started to speak. "I could see myself; I was a kid, maybe 7 or so. The day was sunny, I was building a sand castle with my sister and my parents were watching us from the water. Seconds after we all were in the water playing and splashing. And just like that, it was all finished" she recalled "When my parents had some time to spare we used to come here I could feel like having a family" she said "Don't get me wrong, I didn't have it bad at all. Just that...this was the only place they actually spent time with us instead of being working" she finished. Besides sadness I could hear some anger in her voice "It's no big deal" she then said.
I couldn't help but to relate to her feelings. Knowing firsthand her feelings I felt the need to let her know that she wasn't alone in this "I understand" I said "I think you have noticed how my parents are" I softly laughed "I understand how weighting that absence can be in a kid's life" I sighed "A good quantity of the memories I can remember of my parents being both mentally and physically with me are in this house. That's why Jane and I are always trying to spend as much time as possible with each of you. I vowed myself when I was younger that if I ever had a family, I wouldn't let my kids feel like I felt when I was a child" I explained, the girl's eyes started to well up again "I don't you guys to feel like we are too busy for you"
Megan remained silent just staring into my eyes "I know is not easy to talk about this but if you feel that being here is getting too hard for you, just tell us. We can go somewhere else…"
"No, Maura. I am enjoying being here. It's just that sometimes I just need... a little time" she interrupted me.
"We just want you to know that if you ever feel uncomfortable or upset, just let us know. We just want you to be happy" I said heartfeltly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.
The girl nodded "I know" she said looking back to the ocean. "Is just that…That sometimes I think back and ask myself why was work more important than us" she whispered bitterly.
Again, my heart ached for her "No, sweetie. It was not more important than you. Sometimes, we parents, get so caught up in trying to give you the best that we can neglect you from us" I tried to explain.
"No, Maura, don't make excuses for them. You and Jane have terribly unpredictable and busy jobs and anyway, you find time every day to be there and at least say goodnight" she angrily "They were never there" she whispered.
I then stood up from the chair and kneeled in front of her grabbing her hands "I know where you are, I know what you are feeling" I said to her looking at her straight in the eyes "I used to think the same and I how it made me feel. That feeling of being not important, forgettable and disposable. I've been there and I know from experience that is not true. Yes, you might feel like they didn't love you but that is also not true, not at all" I said "Your parents loved you like you have no idea. They maybe had made some mistakes but that doesn't mean they didn't love you"
Her lower lip quivered "Why are you so sure?" she questioned, her voice breaking.
"Because I'm a mother and I know how strong and incomprehensible a parent's love is. Even though sometimes we can take things for granted" I explained "Sometimes we can take your love and needs for granted, thinking that money and things can cover for our absences. Love can't be replaced" I finished. And just like that the tears she had been holding for a while started to fall down her cheek and through herself to my arms.
The girl rested in my arms for a little until I spoke up "Why don't we go back to our beds and get some rest, tomorrow we have an eventful day ahead?" I asked her.
She nodded and separated herself from our embrace. "Come on, sweetie" I said standing up and grabbing her hand, leading her to her room. "Would you like me to stay with you?" I asked when we were at the door frame.
She shook her head no but she tightly hugged me again "Thanks, I'll be fine" she whispered, barely audible for me to hear it.
"Goodnight, and if you need us, call us," I said kissing her on the forehead. Megan nodded and went directly to her bed.
I sighed and rubbed my forehead knowing that even with all the love and support we could offer her, she had a long road ahead of herself to actually start to believe in her worth again. I went into my room and finally let my head rest on the pillow and as soon as I did so Jane tuned herself and hugged me "Is she ok?" she asked.
I shook my head negatively "No" I simply said.
"Then, we'll help her to be ok," she said, really sure about her words.
"We will" I said, also meaning every word.
"Now, we should rest a bit more," She said and kissed me, lingering her lips against mine a little longer than usual "Sweet dreams, my beautiful wife," she said keeping on holding me the whole time.