Hello Everyone and Welcome Back!
To anyone who is out there still part of this fandom and reading these stories, thank you for all the support to all the writers here!
Any suggestions, comments, or reviews are very welcome and appreciated
Chapter revised for grammar and minor rewrites*
B. M. Adams
Xoxo...
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from R&I, just this plot and OCs
Jane's POV
The day has passed in a blink; in between the sun, the sand and the water, games, laughter, and happiness. Both kids were enjoying themselves to the fullest and we were just delighted by their happiness. But, even though we were all happy, since our arrival in Florida our eldest wasn't herself. Maura told me what they both spoke about last night. And I could just feel sad for her, and the desire to make up for her, to give her all the love she needs. "I'll go inside to check on Meg," I said looking at Maura.
"Ok, give her a kiss from me" she said kissing the back of my hand.
I winked at her and kissed her cheek "I will" I said and stood up going towards the house. As I got closer to the house I could hear a soft melody coming from the piano in the living room. The sound was unlike what Megan usually plays. This was slower and more melancholic. I went inside the house and found Megan mindlessly pressing the keys. She looked zoned out as if her mind was somewhere else. I looked at her for a couple of minutes before going in, trying to think how to make her feel better, a way to get her back to her old self. Since last night she had said possibly less than 10 words: most of them, monosyllables.
I decided to go next to her "Hey, sweetheart" I said softly, trying not to startle the girl.
She stopped playing and diverted her gaze to me from the piano keys "Hey!" she simply whispered.
"You ok?" I said looking lovingly into her beautiful olive-green eyes. She just nodded.
"Aw, you can do better than that" I teased her smiling, hoping for a few more words.
She laughed softly "I'm good, yes," she said.
My eyes softened and I started to rub her back up and down "I know your night was a bit rough, but sweetheart, if you ever feel like that again come to us. I know Maura probably repeated this too many times already but I wanted you to hear it from me too" I said, carefully caressing her hair, wavier than usual due to the salty air.
She locked her eyes with mine and nodded "I know" she simply answered and returned her gaze to the piano keys again, starting to play again. I stayed with her just enjoying her melodies. Intently I kept on watching the girl and could notice the dark rim under her eyes and the tiredness that her face showed. It all didn't seem the result of just one night of bad sleep but quite a few of them.
I kept on listening to the song for a few more seconds "Why don't you and I go to the beach and have lunch with Mom and the kids" I said.
She stopped playing "OK, not really hungry though," she said.
"Well, you can eat a little and after I can beat you at beach tennis" I joked, teasing the girl who was known for her competitiveness, just like mine.
"Yeah, we'll see 'bout that," she said and stood up from the bench. We both walk down the beach towards where Maura is already setting everything for us to have lunch.
At the sight of both of us, Maura stood up and greeted us. "Glad you decided to join us, sweetie," Maura said kissing the teenager's cheek.
"Well, someone promised a beach tennis match. How could I say no" The girl said.
"No, I promised to beat your as…Butt" I corrected myself when I saw Maura's eyes widen at the almost slip of that world out of my mouth.
"Someone is gonna beat someone else's if you finish that sentence" Megan commented laughing, making me and my wife laugh as well.
Megan's POV
We sat under an umbrella eating the snacks Maura made. Everyone was happily chatting with one another but I was just thinking about one thing, that white and blue house at the end of the street. That forgotten refugee where I remember the few happy memories I have. More so today, August 17th, the day the only person I constantly had in my life would be cherished if she was alive. Particularly today was hard, being here on this day I knew would be a matter of strength and patience to go through.
I'm sure I zoned out for a while thinking because I found myself being shaking slightly by Jane's "Earth to Meg. Still with us, kiddo? She said, raising her eyebrows quizzically.
I shook my head "She, just enjoying the view" I said trying to look and sound convincing. I could easily see how both women's faces looked not convinced at all. I fixed my attention to what I was eating. After eating, the kids and Jane went back to their task of building a sandcastle without a wave tearing it apart, I helped Maura to tidy the spot up and collect all the trash. I stared at the sea for a while until a paddle landed on my side splashing me with sand.
"Ok, that was uncalled for!" I said looking at her as I grabbed the paddle and stood up.
"Ready for your cute butt to be beaten miserably," Jane said, sure of her words.
I looked at her with my eyebrows raised "Yeah, well see 'bout that. But knowing your reputation Maura will be de referee" I said.
Jane looked outraged "My reputation? What reputation you're talking about?"
"She knows you too well, Jane," Maura said laughing.
"Ok, ok... I will beat you anyway, sweetheart" she said to me.
We both went to our positions and started to hit the ball. With every hit, the heat of the game increased. With both of us being pretty prideful, losing was no option for either of us. We continued to hit the ball as hard as we could. The game was pretty tied, Jane scored and so I did. Lily and Lucas were cheering at both. Maura was equally cheerful, after a good 20 minutes in the game we were one point to finish the game and tidy. Our arms were starting to be tired and the constant impact of our feet with the sand made them a bit sore as well
"You have been a worthy opponent, kid. Ready to be defeated" Jane smirked, panting slightly due to the constant movement and heat.
"Too early for you to boast about it, don't you think?" I said, taking heavy breaths.
I served and Jane sent it back way too high for me to reach and send it back. Even though I knew it would be nearly impossible for me to hit that ball I jumped as high and extended my arm and the paddle as much as I could. As if it was magic the paddle struck the ball, I fell to the sand back first, hitting it spectacularly but scoring a point in my favour and putting me as the winner of the game.
"Told you not to boast about it" laughing at Jane's stunned expression and the kids acclaiming my victory against the so-called "Beach tennis goddess"
Maura came and as usual, she was worried about the fall I just took "Are you alright, sweetie?" She asked while she helped me to stand up.
I nodded "Yes" I said whilst shaking the sand off of my sweaty body.
Jane walked to where we were "How in the hell did you, Oompa Loompa, reach that ball" she asked me incredulously.
"Never doubt the Oompa Loompa" I laughed
She laughed and patted my back "Well done, sweetheart" she said and then she lifted me over her shoulder and carried me to the water, submerging herself in the water and bringing me with her in the process. We playfully wrestled for a bit until we emerged to the surface. We kept on splashing water on each other's faces. At that moment and for a second I felt like when I was a kid. When life was easier and happier. On one of those rare but precious moments, I spent on this beach.
Shortly after, Maura and the kids joined us in our little match of splashing and playful wrestling. The sound of laughter and giggles was joyful for all of us. I could see in both older women's faces the happiness this was bringing to them and the kids' laughter increased at each water splash that landed on the faces of the others. Even though I was happy as well, an overwhelming feeling was escalating inside of me. The happiness was mixed with the nostalgia and longing for those old memories with my biological family.
I excused myself and started to swim to the shore, leaving Jane and Maura looking at me quizzically for my sudden escape. At my arrival to the shore took a towel and dried myself before going inside the house. I went to my room and shortly after jumped in the shower to wash the salted water off of me. I decided to just stay inside for a while, just enjoying some of the peace and quietness. I grabbed a book and went to the terrace to read for a while, I put my headphones and iPod on pretty loud, trying to avoid any sign of the outside world of my mind. While reading I could also enjoy the warmth of the sun, still the Rizzoli-Isles in my view. They look pretty happy. I'm happy for them, for them to be having so much fun and love and even for me to be with them and get to enjoy it too. Never been a person who shows too much about what she feels but I have to admit that my time in the group homemade me kind of fearful of foster families. All of Janet's stories made me believe finding a nice family would be impossible but at the same time, now that I have found a family I feel quite guilty that at my first attempt, I got to be a nice family. A family that cares about me.
And just like that, I kept on daydreaming about everything and nothing. I must have fallen asleep as the sun was already coming down, I stood up from the chair and after that, I quickly went to my room and dressed in some joggers and a T-shirt. I knew what I was doing was about to get me into some good trouble but I needed to clear my mind and just stop overthinking everything.
Maura's POV
While the kids played with the sand Jane and I were sitting under the shadow of the beach umbrella enjoying the view and the bliss of being in each other's company. We talk about everything and nothing, just chatting about what life has been like lately for both of us and our family. I suddenly remember my conversation with Megan after the incident at the station. I never said anything to Jane and now I cannot believe I never said anything to her, more so being something that could quite change many things.
"You know..." I started and she looked at me waiting for the rest of the words to leave my mouth. "I had a little chat with Megan a while ago. Just after the shooting" Jane was intently looking at me, eager to know what I was talking about "she asked me who Lucy was?".
Jane's eyes widened, but waited for me to continue."When we came back from the hospital that night, she went to check up on the kids and Lily asked her if you were going to die just like Lucy".
Jane just looked at the horizon where the kids were happily playing and sighed bringing her gaze towards me eyes when I spoke to her.
"What I wanted to talk to you, is about what she told me afterwards" I paused and drank some water again turning to see the kids, "She told me that we should not stop trying, that we are great moms" I said not taking my gaze from the seashore.
Jane and I remained silent for a little while, both processing the information. "Isn't it a bit too soon; I just feel like we just lost her" Jane said rather sentimentally.
I grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly and looked straight into her eyes "I understand how you feel, I feel the same" I said.
My wife's eyes were full of tears threatening to fall down her cheeks "You know that if we try it going to be hard, right? I mean, we passed through many tries before and well… I don't know if I can, my love. I just don't-don't know if…" Jane trailed off.
I placed my palm against her cheek and rubbed it carefully with my thumb "I know your fears, I have the same ones. But we can't let fear control our lives and our dreams. We are a team, baby and as a team, we need to talk to each other. I know the pain very well, but we cannot leave in fear, baby" I said, feeling my own eyes filling with tears.
Jane cleared her throat "I know, I know. It's just…it seems too soon" she said
Sympathetically I smiled at her "We have something to figure out first then start thinking of anything else" I said.
Again, Jane's face showed her confusion, one of her eyebrows raised. "Megan" I exclaimed "We need to decide if we are going to adopt her" Jane remained silent, looking to the seashore. "Because we are still adopting her, right? I asked at her unresponsiveness.
She suddenly turned and looked at me "Of course" she said sternly. She then looked down to the sand and spoke with a broken voice "I'm just missing Lucy a lot"
"Me too," I said straight after "We are never going to stop missing her, but she will always be our little angel. You know I am agnostic but I have a hypothesis, can't scientifically prove it due to the variables and the unlikeliness of an afterlife…" I startle to ramble.
"Maur, I got it" he stopped me "We need time, that's all" she said grabbing my hand. We looked into each other's eyes for a few seconds before breaking the space between us with a loved-filled kiss.
Megan's POV
I ran for not more than 10 minutes when I stopped, in front of that white & blue house, I stared at it for a little, just concentrating on the frame. I took the earphones off and walked towards the steps of the entrance. Slowly I climbed the 5 steps, my hand sliding over the handrail. I could feel my chest tightening as I approached the porch. My eyes were fixed on the door. Out of pure inertia, my hand reached the doorknob in a useless attempt to open the door. My head leaned down and sighed deeply. I sat on the swing on the side of the porch and stared at the try of the front yard, a bit neglected for the time without much proper care just like the rest of the house. Slightly but present was the evidence of the passing of the time on the walls. I remained sitting on the swing for a little longer blankly staring at nothing.
Something suddenly clicked in my mind, I remembered that inside of the gnomes – Quite cliché if you ask me - of the flowers near the tree a key for the back door was hidden by my dad. I checked the little yard's ornament to see if the key was still in it. It was there indeed. I picked it up and went to the backyard. I stood in front of the door, doubting if going in or not, doubting if it was a good idea to relive those memories or if I was purely being a masochist. I sighed and closed my eyes completely lost and conflicted. I just shook my head and extended my arm, putting the key inside the lock. I fidgeted a little to open it, it was stiff possible to the sea air and the time without use and lack of maintenance. Pushing the door it could hear the squeaky noise front hinges. I peeked my head through the doorframe, looked inside for a couple of seconds and opened the door enough to be able to go in. Behind me I left my shoes to avoid bringing sand inside the house, remembering my mom would not approve of shoes full of sand inside the house. I closed the door softly and once again I stood frozen in the living room.
I felt like something was pressing its hands against my chest making it hard for me to breathe easily. I knew it was going to be hard. This place brought back mostly all of those nice memories I had. Walking through the living room and entering the kitchen, everything was exactly as it was left the last time we came here. It was odd being in here and not having anyone around.
I walked then towards the stairs to go to the 2nd floor and climbed them upstairs. When I reached the floor I turned to the first room on the left, Lisa's room. A small layer of dust rested on top of the dresser and nightstand but apart from that everything remained untouched. My hands started sweating and my breathing was more erratic the more I spent inside that house. I sat on the bed and took a picture that was on top of the nightstand. Lisa and I, I was on her piggyback on Lisa's smiling. I felt the first tear rolling down my cheek. Wiping it away I left the photo on the spot it was and moved to the room next to that one too, further into the hallway. My parents' room, same state as Lisa's room, I couldn't stop staring at the picture of them both on the dresser. I traced my mom's jewellery with my fingers, trying to keep my tears at bay. I got out of there quickly, didn't and couldn't stand it.
At the end of the corridor was my room, I went in and with my head down I reached the bed and lay on it. I was feeling too overwhelmed with everything. I knew it was not the greatest idea to come in here. As soon as my head hit the pillow I started to cry, a long, long overdue cry, the mourning time I didn't know I needed. I cried, it was all I could do. I just wanted to be alone at the time, didn't want any nice words or anyone pitying me. Just using my time to mourn my family. It took me a while, but I stood from the bed, there was no way I could resist the number of things running through my head. I went down the stairs, again taking a look at everything around me. When I reached the bottom of the stairs I went to the living room and sat on the sofa just staring at the void of the wall in front of me.
Jane's POV
"Where the hell is she!" I exclaimed starting to get really mortified and quite angry.
Maura was sitting on a chair at the dining table; silently thinking with her hand over her mouth and a worried look on her face.
"You don't think she has run away?" I said panicking.
She sighed. "Well, I might have a theory," she said concerned and stood up from the chair, going towards the stairs.
I waited at the threshold of the stairs until she came back. She walked down the stairs with her arms crossed and stopped right in front of me "Well, her running shoes aren't in her room" she stated. I got angry, thinking that once again she decided to just leave, knowing it was unacceptable. "Someone is going to have a lot in her very clear mind when she comes back home," I said ready to have a long talk with Megan.
"For sure. However, I don't think she left just for the sake of a run" she exclaimed.
That left me confused "Elaborate for me, please" I said crossing.
"During our talk last night, she mentioned that she and her family spent a lot of time on this beach. I'm not excusing her but she might have gone to that beach house." Maura rationalized.
"I get that but why leave without telling us," I said annoyed. I sat on one of the chairs of the dining table and pinched my nose bridge, sighing. "Did she mention where the house is?"
Maura simply shook her head "No, she just mentioned it was on this beach, which is not that big, we can walk along with it and we might find it?" Maura said.
We both remained silent for a little longer thinking what was the best action plan we could take. "Do you have the number of that lawyer who called us just after Megan came to live with us?" I said, remembering that maybe the man could have some information.
Maura quickly grabbed her phone and started to look through her contacts "I think so," I said, not sure about the name.
The phone rang a few times before the man picked up "Hello?" he simply said.
"Hello, Mr. Lane this is Dr. Maura Isles, Megan's foster mother" My wife announced.
"Oh! Dr. Isles, please, call me Arthur and why do I owe this pleasant call?" He politely said.
Maura looked at me and breathed deeply for encouragement to continue "We can't find Megan" Maura said with a shaky voice. She cleared her throat and continued "She mentioned a beach house she used to come to with her parents. We think she might be there" Maura said mortified, sitting on one of the chairs in the dining room and putting her hand over her forehead "Arthur, just please, don't call CPS or the police, we just want to find Megan and if she is not there we will call them ourselves, but we just want to avoid any inconvenient with them and risk Megan's stay with us" Maura stressed. I had not even thought about that, though, it was true; as soon as CPS or the police knew about this incident Megan could be removed from our care and that was something we were not willing to let happen.
"Dr. Isles I know this is an isolated incident and I won't do anything to jeopardize Megan's stay with you two. I'm more than sure that she could not be under the care of better hands" he confirmed "I will text you the address of the house and please, as soon as you find her, let me know" he said.
"Of course!" Maura exclaimed. They both said goodbye and hung up.
Seconds after the conversation ended Arthur sent a text with the address of the house; we realized the house was at the end of the street, a few blocks down.
"I will run to the house" I said grabbing my phone and keys.
"Call me as soon as you get there!" Maura screamed behind me.
I ran to the house as fast as I could. "Come on, Megan. Be there" I was thinking while running down the street – praying more than thinking – I watched my phone for the location of the place and at the distance, not too far away I saw the house, but no light was on, as soon I reached the front yard I could see everything complete still, nothing moved inside the house. My heart started to beat even faster, my anguish growing bigger in my chest at the possibility of her not being there. I searched the surroundings with the hope of seeing her; I saw a passage that led me to the back of the house. I looked around again and something caught my eye on the wooden terrace of the house, I jumped to it and saw Megan's shoes. I sighed relieved at the sign that she appeared to be there but at the same time, I was angry at her.
I softly grabbed the doorknob and turned it, it easily budged, a sign that it was opened. I pushed the door, carefully poking my head inside the structure, as soon as I went inside the house I saw a figure on the couch and could hear soft sniffles coming from the figure. I carefully approached it and called Megan's name.
The figure turned around and locked her eyes with mine. I felt a wave of relief washing over me at the sight of Megan. I could not see much, though. The fading light of the moon and the few lampposts from the surrounding houses were not bright enough to reach the interior of the house. My relief became worry at the sight of her sad expression. I walked a little too fast towards her "Megan, are you ok? You hurt?" I asked worriedly inspecting the little I could see of the girl's body. She just shook her head, not saying a word.
"Megan, what are you doing here? What is going on?" I asked her, trying to make some sense of the situation. Megan remained silent, not taking her sight from her lap. "Megan, I'm going to need you to start giving some explanation as to why you decided to run out of the house without telling us and deliberately decide to not let us know where you were," I said sternly. "Come on; let's go home, mom is worried sick". I exclaimed and stood up; the girl did the same behind me. She silently grabbed the keys that were on top of the little table next to the door and as soon as we got out of the house she locked the door and put on her shoes. She was on mute, not a single word left her mouth. As we walked out of the perimeter of the house she hid the key inside a little garden gnome. Then, we started the short walk to the house. Not a word was said by any of us, I couldn't stop asking what was going on inside her head for her to do such careless actions. Every once in a while I looked towards Megan; the girl had her arms around her chest, rubbing up and down her upper arms. The temperature here tends to get pretty chilly during the night.
We arrived at the porch of the house after a ten-minute walk and not a single word was said by any of us I couldn't take the silence anymore "Megan, you gonna have to start spilling what's going on" I said in a no-nonsense tone. "You can't keep on running away every time your emotions overwhelm you. Megan, these stunts can cost us all a whole lot" I exclaimed, uncrossing my arms from my chest " And I mean you being removed from our care" That was the moment she lifted her face from the fixed point on the ground her gaze was so concentrated on. That little fact I mentioned must have clicked on her mind "Megan, if we wouldn't have been able to find you, we would have had to call the police and that could have gone really bad" I sternly said. Megan's mouth parted open as if she was just about to say something, but no words left her mouth. I sighed and decided to leave this conversation for the time until we could go inside, warm up ourselves and for Maura and me to address this together.
As soon as we got in the house Maura was standing up from the kitchen stool and holding Megan in her arms, and the fact that Megan was returning the hug actually made me look at all this from another perspective. Maybe she might have been running from memories or towards them. Maybe today was special somehow and this whole ordeal had an actual good backstory. By way the girl was holding onto my wife made me realize she wasn't running from us, not in the way I thought at first.
While my thoughts were running I could hear Maura asking Megan the same question I have been asking myself all this time.
"Sweetie, I need to know there is a reason why you just ran without telling us. You have no idea how worried we were!" she exclaimed, partly relieved and partly anxious to know her reasons. I then moved next to my wife both of us observed how Megan sighed deeply and held her head up again.
"It's… was supposed to be my sister's birthday" she simply said. Indeed she was in need of comfort, not physical but mental comfort, the feel of what she felt normal on this occasion, the need for a mental break from all the stress she had passed in the few short months. She had been robbed of all she knew and felt like home.
"Look, I know I screwed up, I know this could have gone way, way too different if the police would have been involved. And I understand that you are mad at me, you have every right to be, and I understand if you want to speak with Trish about my behaviour and send me back…" she continued "I…I don't really know why I did it. I don't know I just needed…" she trailed off "I don't know" she said defeated, not having the right words to explain the turmoil of emotion she was feeling and revolving around her head.
I looked at Maura who was intently listening "I think that you were overwhelmed" I said. Gaining curious looks from both Maura and Megan. "Overwhelmed, by today's date, what it meant to you and your family, this place, all the memories it brings to you. But first of all, no one is going anywhere; that has to be clear" I said, remarking the fact that we would never send her back.
"We can understand that you are feeling too many things, Sweetheart. And you know you are allowed to feel anything you are feeling" Maura chimed in. "and because of that, you just need to speak with us, anything you feel is valid," Maura breathed deeply before continuing. "I think we should call it a night. We can keep this talk on hold until tomorrow morning. It has been exhausting enough of a day for all and is not healthy to make conjectures tired. We'll also figure out some consequences tomorrow, but for tonight we can just go and rest" Maura advised. And she was right. All of us were on edge and it was not smart to decide things like that.
The girl nodded, thanking the decision. The girl looked at us looking for approval to go upstairs. "Go on sweetheart, you need to rest" Maura approached the girl again and kissed her forehead. "And for the record, you are going anywhere," she said while she kept the girl's face in her hands. "Goodnight," My wife said as a cue for the girl to go to her room.
I then looked at Maura "What are we going to do?" I asked.
My wife smiled beautifully at me "We'll figure it out in the morning" and after that, she kissed me deeply and as if it was second nature, I wrapped my arms around her waist and reciprocated the kiss.