Chapter Forty-Five: One More Breath

I hear my heart beating in my chest before I hear anything else. Even that is an impossible sound.

But impossible doesn't end there. My fingers twitch at my sides, like all of me is coming alive. Even as my thoughts seem to be crawling through sludge. They're so slow but they're there. They're mine. It's almost impossible for me to believe I'm…me.

How can I still be me?

Sonic's eyelids shivered as he opened them. Like his body wasn't ready to be awake even though Sonic himself could hardly wait one more moment. The ceiling drifted blearily overhead. Ceiling to where? Sonic knew he should care. But as long as it wasn't that tiny cell on the Metarex ship, he couldn't care less. He didn't have that sort of energy to expend anymore.

"Funny seeing you around here."

Sonic started, though even that small movement sent a sharp pain cutting through his abdomen. His hand clutched at his center, even as his head turned toward the voice. The voice that was far too weak and small to have shocked him so fiercely. But any scrap of stimulus was too much for him now. Every sound was enough to send him into high alert. So though he didn't have enough energy to move, he still moved toward it.

To see Nova lain out in the next bed over in the Blue Typhoon's infirmary.

The sight of her killed the meager thoughts in Sonic's head for a second. Nova's already thin angular body looked too thin, her curls limp, her wings gray and…were there stitches in one of them?

"Nova, I—" But even that small attempt at speech tore at Sonic's throat. Like since their lack of use, Sonic's vocal cords decided to call a protest. An attempt to clear his throat only worsened the pain.

Nova's already pale face only paled further. She shifted up onto an elbow, though not without effort. "Careful, don't hurt yourself. We don't exactly have enough healthy crew members to go around right now."

Sonic's eyes widened. Then he remembered before, in the Metarex shell, he'd attacked—

"Amy," he choked through his ruined vocal cords.

Nova shook her head quickly. "Angel said she's okay, just exhausted. Shadow too."

Some of the tension collapsed out of Sonic's already exhausted body. Tears burned at the corners of his eyes and he didn't know if he had energy to spare to hold them back. For a moment, all he knew was that relief. It took him another moment to sort through all the words Nova said. Angel? Angel was here?

And that was all before he really considered the only other one of them currently in the Blue Typhoon's infirmary.

"And are you?" Sonic whispered. The small brush of his voice, it seemed, his vocal cords were intact enough to accept.

Nova smiled, but it was of an ironic sort, one Sonic didn't believe for a second, one Nova probably didn't intend for Sonic to believe. "That is a long, complicated story."

Sonic raised a brow. Clearly, it wasn't as if he was going anywhere anytime soon.

Some of the strength slid away from Nova's shoulders. Her eyes fell away from Sonic's. Sonic could see the color dull within them, like some piece of her was actually dying within her body. "My people are…the Metarex killed them all, Sonic."

Nova's words tore a hole in Sonic's already wounded side and stole some essential piece out from inside him. He struggled to gather a breath, much less say anything to Nova. The Metarex…had gone so far? He knew that the Metarex had once attacked Majyk when Nova was a child, an attack that left her mutilated and scarred in more ways than one. But the Metarex hadn't taken the planet then.

It seemed they had learned from their mistakes.

"I'm the last of my kind, and I…" She choked on her words for a second, even whispered as they were. "…and I have Airin's Disorder. If you…remember what that is. From when I told you about it with Angel. My magic…it's mostly gone now."

The hole in Sonic's side yawned open even wider. He couldn't tell what expression he wore on his face but he was sure it couldn't be the right one. If there was a right one.

Nova took in a shuddering breath and held it for a long moment before releasing it almost silently. She lifted her head again. "And you. Are you okay?"

Sonic tried to smirk and shot her a thumbs-up. But Nova just leveled an even look in his direction. "At this point, what's the purpose of lying?"

Sonic's hand fell back to his side. The meager sarcastic joy he'd forced collapsed back into dust. He turned his head back toward the ceiling. "I…" Sonic's eyes fell closed. "…am still alive. Still me. Which is way more than I expected."

"I'll raise a glass to that," Nova muttered.

The tiniest of smirks sparked to life on Sonic's face for an instant. He wasn't sure if it was for himself or for Nova sounding so much like herself, at least for the moment. Even as both of them were irreparably damaged.

-(-)-

Sonic's consciousness drifted. His chest hurt when he tried to take a full breath. And whenever consciousness drifted back within his reach, he awoke expecting the bands of Metarex armor to be wrapped around his limbs. The relief that such restraints weren't there was exhausting enough that it sent his consciousness drifting away once more.

As least until a nightmare sent Sonic shooting awake, snapping to an upright position so fast that his body only screamed in protest once he had already straightened. For a split second, his mind was nothing more than those sensations. Pain. The lingering flashes of nightmare more real than not. He couldn't even see beyond it. Once the worst of it faded, he was still left gasping. Only then did he realize he was alone. The bed Nova had previously occupied was empty now.

Sonic lowered his face into his hands. Even that simple motion required so much concentration. Like the synapses in his brain had to rewrite themselves after weeks under Metarex control. His entire body shivered. With exhaustion? With unexpected emotion? He couldn't tell the difference. His body was like a stranger to him now.

"Sonic."

Sonic pulled his head back out of his hands. To see Amy Rose standing in the infirmary's doorway.

Sonic couldn't speak. He couldn't think of words, even if he could speak. Instead, he just stared. Stared at how heavily Amy leaned on the doorframe, like she wasn't entirely confident in her body's ability to hold its own weight. How badly had he hurt her when he was a Metarex? She was still standing when he regained control, he vaguely remembered, but maybe that was just a pleasant dream, a lie his brain told him to make reality bearable.

"Nova said you were awake before, but when I came by you were out again so I wasn't sure if now…" Amy's rambling voice trailed away, and she swallowed whatever other words remained on her tongue. She leaned forward, like she wanted to step over the threshold and into the room. But then she hesitated. Her brows pulled together, eyes searching Sonic's face.

He stretched a hand out toward her.

Apparently, that was enough invitation for Amy. She stumbled forward, reaching out for Sonic's hand with both of her own, then pulled it in toward her chest. She said nothing. Her eyes searched his, like their gazes locked on one another was a whole conversation in itself. She took a step closer toward him. And he let his head fall to her shoulder.

His weight was far too heavy to carry all on his own.

She stilled, though only for a moment before she reached around him and gingerly wrapped her arms around his injured body. She didn't ask if he was okay. She didn't waste his limited energy on such a stupid question.

"I love you," she finally breathed after a good long while. "I love you. I loved you. I will always love you. Whatever happens. Whatever you've been. Whatever you'll be next."

Sonic pulled his head back from Amy's shoulder. She eased her arms away from him without question, without protest. With one hand, he traced a finger down Amy's pink quill, from her temple down to the tip. "You saved me," he whispered.

But Amy shook her head. "You saved you."

Sonic's other hand reached for Amy's face. He pulled her toward him until her forehead pressed against his. "Amy Rose," he breathed. And without further preamble, he pushed his lips up against hers.

They only remained together for a moment, for a heartbeat, before Sonic had to pull back and gather another breath limited by his bruised ribcage. But their lips remained only inches apart, breathing the same air.

Sonic's hand slid down the side of Amy's face, then down her arm, like he was trying to memorize every inch of her. Like he was desperate to confirm she was real and searching for any indication that might say otherwise.

But Amy didn't ask, didn't interrupt. Whether she knew or not the turmoil in Sonic's head, she left room for it. Only when he pulled back did she. She twined her fingers between his. "I know you're not ready," she said, locking her eyes on Sonic's, "but I want you to know you can talk to me about everything that happened. And if you never want to, I won't think less of you. I love every version of you, Sonic the Hedgehog, whichever version you choose to be."

Sonic didn't have the words. Even if his heart and mind weren't a damaged mess, he wouldn't have the words. How did he explain the way her words cracked him open and left him the best possible version of broken? How did he explain how much it meant that she didn't expect him to know what he wanted?

How did he even begin to tell her that she clearly knew him better than he would ever know himself and right now that simple fact healed every bruised part of his soul?

"I love you," he whispered.

It was a start.

-X-X-X-

Tails's View

Tails's mind was a mess.

An entire swarm of wasps buzzed angrily inside his skull. He could hardly hear himself around the noise. Black Thorn is Dark Oak's daughter and she is going to end the entire universe in less than twelve days.

But for one breath, for the length of one single breath, Tails shut down the noise, slammed the doors closed to every room inside his head, and he focused what little of himself remained on Cosmo.

They sat on Cosmo's bedroom floor. Against what many would say was better judgement, Tails had pulled his headset from his head and set it to the side. In case of emergency, Chris would still have plenty of ways to reach him. But if the universe really ended in less than a fortnight, he was going to take this moment.

They sat against Cosmo's bedroom wall with Tails's twin namesakes wrapped around the pair of them. Cosmo leaned her head over on Tails's shoulder. Phrase after phrase jumped to Tails's mind to start the conversation, but none of them felt right. None of them seemed like enough.

"Did you know it was a trap?"

Cosmo's words startled Tails into continued silence. Of all the questions to ask, that's the one she chose?

"When I called you," she clarified, as if Tails could ever forget.

"Cosmo, that doesn't—"

"Of course it matters," Cosmo interrupted. While she didn't pull her head away from Tails's shoulder, Tails could see her tension in the way her hands curled into fists in her lap. "The Metarex kidnapped me to force Sonic to do their will. And when that wasn't enough, they used me to manipulate you. It's…all of this is so very strange. I feel both used and as if I've become a burden."

"You're not—"

"Tails."

The quiet sound of his name on her lips, her hand reaching out to press against his knee, it was enough to give him pause, even as the speed of his racing heart threatened to outpace Sonic himself. She leaned away from Tails and met his eyes with her own so that he was again forced to face the black eye a Metarex had inflicted upon Cosmo as punishment for Sonic, when he failed to destroy the rest of the Blue Typhoon's crew. Tails's hand drifted toward it, and Cosmo closed her eyes. He hesitated a heartbeat, but then he leaned in to trace the outside edge of the bruise with his thumb. It was the one detail that made all of what was happening feel real, since Tails could never imagine a world where Cosmo was hurt. So this couldn't be a dream then. It had to be reality.

"I understand now," Cosmo whispered, "why it's always been so hard for Sonic to talk about what happened to him during the Changed War. Words don't feel sufficient. The memories feel false. And the emotions you're left with…you know they are mixed up and largely untrue but they are the only way you can begin to process all that happened to you. So yes, I feel like a burden. And I feel levels of conflict within me that I don't know where to begin in processing because the Metarex were once members of my own people, and yet they have reached the end-goal where I am as much an enemy to them as anyone. And I know I might feel a little lighter tomorrow but there is a scar now, against my heart, and I will always carry that with me."

Shivers unfurled against Tails's shoulder blades. An irrational desire to reach inside Cosmo and pull that scar from her buzzed inside him. He wished he could unwrite the day the Metarex Scarship attacked her clan. And the day she held Dark Oak in place long enough for Tails to fire Super Sonic and Super Shadow at the both of them.

But a long time ago, before Tails had ever met Cosmo, Sonic had taught Tails there was no point wishing for a different past. What was done was done and lingering uselessly on the things you wished you could change would do nothing to make the new choices your present moment held. That present moment was all you really had. It was a terrible thing to waste.

All you could do was keep running.

"You're not a burden," Tails said finally. "You're not a byproduct of the Metarex. You're Cosmo, my extraordinary friend. And I will always care about you, whole or in pieces, and I'm always going to be here. No matter what I have to do. And that's not because you're a burden. You will never be a burden. I will always come for you because I love you."

Cosmo's hand slid from Tails's knee to his hand pressed on the ground between them. A thin tear slid from the edge of Cosmo's eye and slipped silently down her face. "I love you," she breathed.

To the end of the universe.

-X-X-X-

Black Thorn's View

Black Thorn's thin teal hair tangled around the metallic fingers she pressed against her scalp. She sat in the absolute dark but it seemed that even obscured in shadows, the one thing she wished she could hide from refused her such luxury.

No matter where you went, you always had to carry yourself with you.

Shining Birch and Rusted Maple, the leaders of Metarex forces for the last two wars had fallen now. Only a handful of their generals remained. They had lost both Sonic the Hedgehog and the Seedrian Cosmo to the crew of the Blue Typhoon.

Her forces were running thin. Though only days remained before she could put into action the Metarex's final plan, she had expected a significantly larger buffer between that plan and their enemies.

She extracted her hands from the tangled mess of her hair and tilted her head back to direct her eyes toward the ceiling overhead. She took a deep breath. Her lungs held tight, refused to fully expand to accept all the air she wished to take in. But even that wouldn't matter much longer. She wouldn't be breathing much longer.

No one would.