Once Eddie was satisfied that Bolton had made a sincere apology to Philip, he let him leave the cooler. An awkward silence fell over the room. Philip remained in his chair, eyes staring at the table in front of him as he picked at the skin around his finger nails.

"I'm sorry, mate" Eddie said, breaking the silence

"It's ok" Philip mumbled

"No, it isn't. I jumped to conclusions like everyone else. I'm sorry"

"You didn't have much evidence to say that I hadn't done it" Philip pointed out

"Your word should have been enough" Eddie replied

Philip nodded quietly.

"Come on" Eddie instructed, gesturing to him to stand up

"Where are we going?" he asked

"I think you and Rachel need to talk"

Philip nodded, following Eddie out of the cooler.

...

Rachel smiled softly at Philip when he entered the office. He smiled awkwardly back at her. He really hoped she knew that he hadn't done anything to Sarah-Leanne with a malicious intention. He wanted her to know it was an accident and that he would never, ever treat a woman so disrespectfully. He knew how much trauma Stuart's actions had caused Rachel. It was his priority to get the message across to her that this was an accident. He didn't care if he got punished, as long as she knew that it was an accident, he didn't care. Rachel had done so much for him over the last few months. She had confided in him about Stuart raping her and the pain and trauma it had caused. He felt like he had let her down.

They sat down on the sofa opposite where Grace was sleeping. Rachel brushed down her trousers nervously. She was dreading this conversation.

Philip knew he had to set the ball rolling.

"Rach, I- I'm sorry"

She lifted her head to look at him.

"You're saying that like you did do it" she commented

"I didn't" he answered

"I know" she nodded

"Bolton pushed me, Rachel. I would never, ever do something like that, not after what you went through. Even if I didn't know you'd been through that, I wouldn't have done it. I hope you know that" he continued

"I do"

Philip nodded.

"Philip, what's going on with you? You've been off since Eddie and I came back from Whitby" she asked

"Nothing" he mumbled

"Philip, tell me the truth. Something is going on with you! I want to help!" she pleaded

Philip's gaze dropped to the floor as he remained silent.

"Is this about your Mum?" Rachel questioned

Philip shook his head.

"Philip, it's ok to admit you're upset or angry about her not contacting you" she reasoned

"It's NOT about her!" he snapped

Rachel sighed. She knew she wasn't going to get anything out of him unless she changed her tactic.

"You think a lot of Bolton Smilie, don't you?"

Philip nodded slowly. He knew deep down that Bolton was only tolerating him because he looked up to Rachel so much. She had done a lot for him, and by letting her Nephew hang around with him and Paul, he felt he was repaying the favour somewhat. But there was a difference between tolerating and befriending someone.

During the week he had stayed with Bolton whilst Eddie and Rachel were away, he had observed Bolton carefully, taking note of the things he was into, the things he said, the music he liked and the clothes he wore. He figured if he took all of those on board and tried to be like him, eventually, he would fit in and Bolton would become his best friend. He'd been wrong.

"He's alright... he's a mate"

Rachel couldn't help but scoff at that. After what Bolton had just put him through, how could Philip still call him a mate?

"Philip, 'mates' are people you get on with. You don't show off to them, you shouldn't have to. If they like you, you can just be yourself. You don't have to pretend to be someone you're not, which is what you were doing, wasn't it?" she pointed out

Philip nodded.

"That's the story of my life" he mumbled

Rachel shot him a puzzled look.

"Explain what you mean?" she requested softly

Philip sighed.

"I've spent nearly all of my life pretending. I know I'm... different to everyone else, even though I try not to be. I try so hard to fit in and it just backfires and blows up in my face every time" he explained

"I don't think that's true, Philip. You've been doing well while you've been here. Your grades are good, your confidence is growing. You've made friends that you go out with after school,"

Philip cut her off with a scoff.

"Friends? You think I have friends?"

"Well, you must do, considering you go out nearly every night" she shrugged

Philip's gaze dropped to the floor, eyes clouded with guilt.

"Philip?" she prompted

"I-I've been... lying to you. I don't have any friends to go out with. I'm completely on my own" he blurted

Rachel frowned, processing his words carefully. This didn't make any sense.

"But... that night Eddie and I went bowling... you texted to say you weren't coming because you were going to a gig with friends?"

"I went to the gig on my own" he told her

Rachel's confusion was only increasing. None of this made any sense.

"I don't understand, Philip. Where have you been going in the evenings? You've been telling me and Eddie that you're going out with friends, but now you're telling me that you haven't?" she questioned

"I just... walk around Rochdale. Mostly I go to the library and do some homework and revision, that's why my grades are so good. I don't have any friends, Rachel. I never have and I probably never will"

Rachel sighed painfully. How had she missed this? Her Nephew was cripplingly lonely and she'd had no idea. He had been so convincing whenever he'd said he was going out with friends. Of course he had never said who with (which now made sense), but she had never questioned him because she was just glad that he was out socialising. But he hadn't been. That was the problem with loneliness, you get so used to it that masking it becomes a habit and you get good at pretending that you aren't.

"Philip, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you say something to me, or to Eddie? We could have helped you"

"I couldn't. It was easier not to. I didn't want to burden you anymore than I already was, especially with you being ill and Eddie being so worried about you. You didn't need it" he told her

"Philip,"

"I'm used to it, Rachel. No one wants me around. Not Bolton, not Eddie... not you. Even my Mum doesn't want me. She's just left me here and dumped me on you! It isn't fair. When the baby comes, I'll just be a burden to you and Eddie. You'll have your own little family and I'll just be... alone again"

Rachel's first instinct was to reach out and hug her Nephew, but she refrained. Philip wasn't a fan of hugs. A pang of pain shot through her heart, seeing just how low he truly was. She knew how it felt to be lonely and to feel invisible and that you don't matter. She hated that Philip felt and thought all these things, especially when they weren't true.

Her anger towards Melissa increased. She had caused most of Philip's problems, and there had been no need for it. She had upped and left, leaving a broken boy behind and his Auntie to pick up the pieces. It was cruel and she hated Melissa for it. Even if Rachel did believe that Philip was better off living with her and Eddie than he ever would be with Melissa. The emotional damage she had caused him would leave a scar on his heart that would never fully heal.

Instead of hugging him, she grabbed his hand. Rachel had never truly believed he didn't like affection or physical touch. It was more to do with the fact that he had been so deprived of it his whole life that it was unfamiliar territory for him. Having gone through the same thing growing up, being beaten or yelled at rather than loved, she could recognise when someone had experienced what she had.

The reason she had become a teacher in the first place was because she didn't want another child to go through what she did growing up. And Philip was here, having gone through that and was still suffering. She felt like she was letting him down. Maybe if she hadn't given up prostitution and left home permanently that night when she was nineteen, she wouldn't have lost contact with Melissa and would have been able to save Philip. But what would that have meant for Rachel herself? A life trapped in a world she was desperate to escape from? A longer prison sentence than what she'd already had?

One thing was for certain, delving into the 'what ifs?' wasn't going to help. She needed to focus on the here and now. She couldn't change Philip's past, but she could change his future.

When he finally glanced up at her, eyes filled with tears, she swallowed the lump in her throat. She wasn't used to seeing him upset. It caused a pang of pain to shoot through her heart.

"Philip, listen to me. You are NOT a burden. Not to me, or to Eddie. We want you here, we love you so much and we care about you. You are a part of our family, and you still will be when this baby comes, I promise you that. Eddie and I will always make time for you, and we'll support you with everything. What your Mum did to you, even before she left, was disgusting and cruel. She doesn't deserve to have you as a son. But I know that, despite how she treated you, you still love her, even if you can't forgive her actions. I know that makes no sense at all, but believe me, it is normal"

She cleared her throat before continuing.

"I'm sorry I didn't notice how lonely and isolated you were feeling before now. You shouldn't have had to tell me. I should have known. But you're not on your own now. Eddie and I will help you through this, but you need to let us in, Philip. You need to tell us when you're struggling and we'll do what we can to support you, ok?"

Philip nodded with a sniffle.

"Will you let me give you a hug?" she requested

Philip didn't hesitate, wrapping his arms around her tightly. She sighed, hugging him back.

"It's going to be alright, Philip. I promise you"

Philip pulled apart from her, wiping the tears off his cheeks.

"Thanks, Rachel" he mumbled

She smiled at him softly.

"I need you to go back to the cooler for me now, ok? I'll come and get you in a bit" she instructed

Philip nodded, standing up and exiting the office. He couldn't deny it, he felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulder now he'd finally told the truth. He had believed it would make things worse, but, surprisingly it hadn't. It was a massive relief.