-8-
Something had changed.
Something new had happened, and it focused on his beloved apprentice-to-be.
Anakin Skywalker. The Hero with No Fear. The Chosen One. Anakin had many titles, not that Darth Sidious cared; all he cared about was what Anakin represented, raw, almost untamed power. Potential. From the moment he was inducted into the Order of Sith Lords by his old master, Darth Plagueis, Sidious had worked long and hard on undermining the Jedi, and the Republic, manipulating critical incidents like the Stark Hyperspace War, the Invasion of Naboo for his own ends, all to ripen the galaxy for the galactic war long since planned and manipulated by Darth Bane and the future Sith Masters in the Order, who had followed the Rule of Two to not follow the mistakes of Sith Lords of the past….all to transform the Republic into a Sith Empire, rather than remove it and replace it with a Sith Empire.
Darth Sidious had many ideas which had been shaped into detailed plans and formulas to make the Grand Plan come to fruition, helped by Plagueis, who had worked with Dooku to manipulate Sifo-Dyas into ordering the clone army on Kamino. All of them had a chip in their heads with the single, simple command to wipe out the Jedi to the Chancellor's order. It was such a seemingly innocent command, it was almost invisible…but when it was activated, its effects would be overwhelming, devastating. And the Sith would rule the galaxy.
Originally, Sidious had planned on Darth Maul being the one to storm the Jedi Temple when he deemed the time was right, although even Sidious had wondered if the Zabrak Sith apprentice was even capable of taking the revenge of the Sith to its inevitable conclusions. The Zabrak had been raised to be a weapon, nothing more. He wasn't meant to take the Rule of Two to the next cycle, in fact, Sidious, like many Sith Masters in the Banite lineage, had held the bit where the apprentice killed the Master to take power in contempt, and he had plans to make sure he was the master forever.
But that would come later.
But Sidious soon changed his mind when Maul proved to be unworthy of being the apprentice. Dooku was nothing more than a placeholder; while formidable, Dooku was meant to lead the Separatists. The Sith Master had a different apprentice in mind.
Anakin Skywalker.
From the moment he had laid eyes on the boy, certain he was the result of that experiment he and Plagueis had started years ago, during the Muun Sith Lord's latest attempt to understand how to manipulate life, Palpatine had known he wanted the boy as his own, his next servant. The experiment had failed…or so Plagueis had assumed until word reached them that Qui-Gon Jinn had found a boy he was sure was the legendary Chosen One on Tatooine. Plagueis had panicked, frightened by the news, but Sidious's devious mind saw an opportunity, and he saw the emotions and raw power in Anakin's 9-year-old self.
Since that day, Palpatine had been working to plant the seeds that would drive the boy deeper into the embrace of the Dark Side. It wasn't hard; the boy was nursing a healthy rage towards his childhood circumstances, and his marriage to the meddlesome, and stupid, Senator Amidala was already fraught with problems.
Amidala was stupid to include so many people in the secret of their marriage, one of them being Captain Panaka, who was loyal only to Palpatine and had informed him of the marriage. Palpatine had been delighted when he had received the news, as he had manipulated Amidala into being protected by Obi-Wan and Anakin in the first place, and he had been delighted the Jedi had assigned Kenobi to investigate Kamino, leaving Anakin to protect Amidala, although neither of them were aware the bounty hunters had been called off.
There was no need to kill her once she was gone, knowing he didn't need to do that much to actually ensure the Clone Army was officially recognised; he actually wanted her to live, all to help Anakin go down the path that would see him kneeling before Palpatine, a willing Sith apprentice. It had been easy to manipulate the young couple to make it simpler, and since Amidala had become a Senator, Palpatine had ensured the kind, selfless girl who had been elected as Queen of Naboo, changed, and it had worked.
As a result, by the time he became a Sith, Anakin would be more than willing to join. And Palpatine had several contingencies in mind, just in case.
However, Palpatine was not stupid; he had not reached his current level by being sloppy. There was a chance Anakin could die at any point during the Clone Wars. He had taken that into account, and he had backup plans. The Sith Master had spent a long time manipulating not just Anakin, but other members of the Jedi Order; knights, apprentices, and even Masters.
But Anakin was the crown jewel.
While many of the Jedi he manipulated and even now was pushing closer and closer to becoming a Dark Jedi or even a passable Sith, Anakin would ensure his rise to power would go unchallenged.
But in the meantime, he wasn't ready. No, he had to sink deeper into the Dark Side. The fairly recent temple bombing involving Ahsoka Tano had fractured whatever small trust he might have for the Jedi Council, and Obi-Wan Kenobi, who did the barest minimum to help the Togruta girl, and he was firmly on the path.
Or so he had thought.
Something had changed.
The Chancellor usually went to bed late at night, protected by a lightsaber, partly asleep, partly in meditation when he had felt waves in the Force. Annoyed at the disturbances but worried, Sidious had focused…and discovered that the seeds of darkness he had worked tirelessly to sow in Anakin had just died. Oh, while he still had an inner darkness, it had already been there before Palpatine had his meetings with the young man. Sidious had tried to discover what changed, but the Force refused to yield, leaving him stumbling as he mentally screamed in rage, all of his plans were being ruined.
-8-
Lunae Minx woke up slowly, a huge smile on her face as she became aware of the male body next to her, and she lovingly stroked Anakin's chest and face.
"Mm, this is a lovely way to wake up," she whispered.
"How are you feeling?" Anakin smiled.
Lunae smiled back, charmed by him. "Like a supernova's exploded in me."
Anakin chuckled sheepishly in embarrassment. "I never expected that," he commented.
And he hadn't. When he had lost his virginity to Padme, it hadn't been a dream come true. Oh, sure, Padme had moaned at the right moments, but it had been like fucking a plastic doll, but he had been so naive and caught up with his crush and his obsession with her, he had just put up with it, hoping when the war ended, they would finally strengthen their relationship instead of going months and months without seeing each other.
All that had changed now.
Lunae could see his expression change. "What's wrong?" She whispered in concern.
"I've made up my mind, Lunae. I'm leaving the Jedi. I'm going to divorce Padme. I want to be with you," Anakin replied firmly.
It was not a sudden decision. Anakin had been thinking about leaving the Jedi for a long time, on and off, over the years. But he had been scared, not sure of where he would go, and how he would survive if he had left with Ahsoka after the nightmare she had gone through. Even then, he had subconsciously known his marriage with Padme was a disaster, which was why he had stayed.
Thinking of Ahsoka made him frown in thought.
He had no idea where she was, whether she was okay or not…..but thinking about her brought back all the guilt he had been locking away in the strong box he had in his very soul.
When he had first seen Ahsoka, Anakin had been scared about Yoda's insane plan to give him an apprentice, just to teach him how to let go of the ones he feared dying. Well, it had not worked. Anakin was a frontline soldier; every single time he was deployed with the clones of the 501st he was forced into battles that resulted in shattered planets, ruined cities and millions of dead civilians and clones.
The last thing he wanted was an apprentice, and he didn't understand what kind of sanity the Jedi Masters had in exposing their apprentices to the war.
Didn't they realise they could be killed?
And they were being killed.
They were either killed because their minds were taken by surprise by the brutality of the war, which went against their damned upbringing or because their masters were careless or they were themselves.
Anakin didn't have a problem teaching younglings the basics. He had helped several Jedi Masters in the past. But he wasn't prepared to take a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed Padawan on into battle. But Ahsoka had changed his mind, and he guessed Yoda had deliberately chosen her, as their personalities complimented each other.
Against his better judgment, Anakin had become close to Ahsoka, and he had decided to give her some tough love. He had trained her to become a killing machine. He had taken the girl Yoda had foisted on him, and he had made sure she was put through the wringer, every time. Obi-Wan and other Jedi Masters had been concerned by how brutally he was training her, how hard it was, but he genuinely didn't understand their naivete. They were at war, for the Forces' sake. What would it take to realise they needed their apprentices to be tough, to think for themselves?
Anakin had poured many hours, teaching her some of the more brutal lightsaber forms - again, earning a lot of concern - pushing her into target practice with the clones. And it worked; Ahsoka had stumbled at first, but her natural stubbornness had forced her to grow, to adapt. During the months they had fought side by side, Anakin had been scared when Ahsoka was stuck in sticky messes and came out on top. He didn't know for sure if she would have lasted before they'd even met when Barriss suddenly went mad and framed her and she had to run and hide. But he was proud of her.
Anakin made a mental note to get in touch with her after he was done with the council.
Lunae's eyes brightened, but there was worry in her voice. "A-Are you sure?" She asked uncertainly.
"I am," Anakin replied.
He had it all worked out.
He would go to Padme, to the Council. He would tell them he wanted out, giving his reasons. Ironically he was dreading the meeting with Padme, although he wasn't sure what she would say or do, but he wasn't sure if she would take it well. But when he left with Lunae, he was considering taking her to a different planet and setting down roots, instead of being trapped on this overdeveloped, mechanised planet.
But he had no intention of making the same mistakes he'd made with Padme. He had no intention of knowing Lunae for a few days, then getting married; no, he wanted to get to know her, to see if they were compatible. It would hurt them too much if he married her soon and discovered she only liked him for being the Jedi war hero. Anakin was unsure if he could ever recover if that were the case, but even he was stunned by how easily he had.…bounced back from Padme, but he was unsure if he could do the same in Lunae's case.
Lunae seemed to see into his mind, "Anakin," she began, biting her lip hesitantly, "do you think we should, like, take it easy?"
Anakin shifted in the bed, "What do you mean?" He asked curiously.
Lunae looked uncertain, unsure how to go ahead with this, and he gently stroked her cheek to make her more comfortable. It worked. She smiled. "I think we should take things slowly, to see if we work," she said.
"I was thinking the same thing," Anakin lightly kissed her on her lips. Again he felt that spark, and he cuddled her to his chest.
Lunae giggled. "If we keep this up, we may not get out of this bed!"
Anakin laughed.
-8-
As his speeder travelled towards the Jedi Temple, Anakin decided to see if he could get through to Ahsoka. To his disappointment, she didn't answer, so he decided to leave a message.
"Hello, Ahsoka," he began, "I…I'm just calling again, hoping you're okay. I miss you. I really, like, totally miss you. I miss the sound of your laughter, and the way you brightened things up. The way you spoke back to me….okay, maybe not all of those moments, but still. I do miss you. Life hasn't been the same since you left."
Anakin sighed as he decided now was the time to be short, sharp, to the point. "I'm leaving the Jedi Order, Snips. Now, before you ask yourself 'why now? Why not come with me,' which I know you'll probably be asking yourself, I need to tell you the reasons." As he spoke, Anakin noted the distance between where he was and the Jedi Temple in the distance. He had plenty of time. "I broke the Code, Snips. Big time. I don't know if you already guessed, but….I was in a relationship with Padme, Senator Amidala. Or at least I was. I got married to her shortly after the Clone Wars started…well, lets just say that was a mistake, as I'm starting to understand. I'd fallen in love, or at least I thought I had, with her when I was 9…not a good age, I know, and I became obsessed with her. Even bigger mistake, and it was an even bigger mistake for the Jedi since Obi-Wan knew how I felt about her. But I became her bodyguard, and I spent most of my time acting like an idiot. I won't bore you, although I can picture you chuckling and rolling your eyes!"
Anakin chuckled himself. But he quickly turned sombre. "Marrying Padme was a mistake, Snips," Admitting that was painful, but the words left his mouth so freely he was surprised despite all that had happened recently, "we barely knew each other, I can see that now. I'm sure you noticed yourself, sometimes when we were busy, she would send messages to me, or Palpatine would, and I would be expected to just…drop everything and go help her." As he spoke, he realised something. "I've seen Padme in action before, Snips; the woman I saw in battle on Naboo, on Geonosis…it was like a changeling had taken her place, and she played the damsel in distress. How many people died or could have died because of her? I don't know the answer, and truthfully…I don't want to know, because the number's likely going to haunt me. But she kept doing it. Getting herself into trouble and then wanting me to pick up the pieces, but I ignored it, I pushed it aside even though we rarely saw each other for months and months."
But Anakin sighed and then he confessed to what he had just done to Clovis. How much he hated the little man, why he hated him, and why he thought Padme was irredeemably stupid for being a bleeding heart around him. "I thought I was protecting her, Ahsoka," he concluded sadly, "but she wants nothing to do with me right now."
"I've met someone, or rather I was reunited with someone the Force brought me towards, a Twi'lek woman called Lunae. And….oh, Ahsoka," he breathed sadly, sounding like he wanted to break down into tears. "I wish I left with you. I've been regretting it since you stared at the council in disbelief since I saw you walking away. I had the perfect opportunity right there in front of me. I'd never liked living in the Jedi Order. I had the opportunity to leave when I was 11. Life was horrible for me; the Younglings hated me, the Padawans were jealous of my talents and they mocked me for not knowing things like reading and writing, and when they discovered I was a former slave, I had expected kindness, understanding…No way. And the Jedi Masters were forever making it clear they didn't want me around and they were hounding me, telling me I could do better, all the while putting me down to make me humble."
The tide had come unleashed now. Suddenly all the bitterness Anakin had been holding within him towards the Jedi Order came unstoppered.
"The Clone Wars gave me some kind of purpose, Ahsoka," he said, "many Jedi aren't capable of being soldiers, but I am. I don't always like it, having to see worlds destroyed, and people dead, but I have it in me. And then I met you. I remember when you were first given to me as an apprentice, and I….treated you poorly," Anakin sighed, once more lifting his gaze to the Temple in the distance. "Why did I do that? I….did it because I knew there was a horrifying chance you could die. I can put my own life at risk….but….I…I'm not strong enough to send you into danger or put you at risk, that's why I was hard on you. But when I saw you in action, I changed my mind, but I made it clear my training methods aren't the softly-softly methods of the Jedi. The other Masters, even Windu, don't seem to have accepted the fact we're at war. The dogmatic ways of the Jedi just aren't gonna work."
Anakin sighed, "I'm sorry, Snips. The training I put you through….I was turning you into a killing machine. I figured, if you were going to be with me, then I would help you survive. I pushed you time and time again. And I'm sorry. I am so truly sorry. I destroyed your life."
Those simple words…that confession almost shattered him.
"If you don't get in touch after you receive this…then I understand, but let me tell you, I miss you, despite everything…I always will. See ya soon, Snippy." Anakin chuckled before he turned off the communicator.
-8-
Anakin was surprised when he found Master Shaak Ti standing in the hangar. He had just hoped to go to the council, walk in, announce his resignation and just leave peacefully. But he hadn't expected to find a Jedi Master waiting like this. He was surprised to see her here, and it was obvious she was waiting for him, judging by how relieved she was. But something was wrong. She seemed….nervous, uneasy. That wasn't like the usually serene Jedi Master.
"Master Ti," Anakin greeted her, nodding at her politely.
"Anakin, the council wish to speak with you," Shaak Ti said, and Anakin saw it. Shaak Ti knew what he had done, if the uneasy looks she was sending him were anything to go by, and he had been around Ahsoka enough to know when a Togruta was blushing. But Anakin wanted to know what this was all about.
"The whole of the Council?" Anakin asked.
"Yes," Shaak Ti replied.
The very thought of the entire Jedi Council wishing to speak to him was daunting.
"What's it all about?" Anakin asked.
Shaak Ti looked even more nervous. "I think you know, Anakin."
Anakin was becoming nervous now, just wondering to himself what the Council knew. Anakin was used to the fact many on the council did not trust or even like him, but he didn't care what they thought. He had learnt, after the Hardeen fiasco, and the way they just….followed the Senate's demands for Ahsoka's head on a platter, that the Jedi Council were full of the most double-crossing bastards in the galaxy.
He would have to keep those thoughts to himself since he needed to leave peacefully without any conflict.
Still, he quietly followed the older Jedi through the Temple to the Council.
-8-
When they finally arrived in the council chamber, Anakin took a moment to study the flow of their auras in the Force. Some weren't here physically, but in holographic form, but he could feel them. He could feel the uneasiness and the disappointment many of them were showing, and even…uncertainty, even concern. Still, he walked to the centre of the room, so he could address the full council formally, and as he did he kept his head held high. It helped hide his nervousness.
"Masters," he greeted even if he no longer felt that chip on his shoulder; it was like being with Lunae, it had made him see these people no longer held any kind of hold on him anymore.
Yoda began the meeting, "Changed, you have become, young Skywalker," he said in his aged voice. "Witnessed, and felt, through the Force, the balance did come."
Anakin was surprised. This was something he hadn't expected.
Balance…to the Force?
Balance….had come to the Force?
How was that even possible?
He had never put much stock into the Chosen One prophecy; okay, at first, he had been excited at the thought of being a Jedi messiah or hero, but as time passed he realised it was more trouble than it was worth. He was judged for his past. His attachments. Many Jedi were critical since he had come to the Jedi Temple as a former slave without knowing much about reading, and writing, despite his unimaginable genius and skill with technology, and the truth Watto had put into him to teach him computer hacking, but that meant nothing to the Jedi who had great hopes for him only to find him…wanting, and even sceptical even now about him, truthfully he didn't blame them since Anakin had known for years the Jedi and the Sith had been at war for centuries, and they hadn't utterly defeated them.
After a while he had started to realise it didn't really matter, and besides, if other Jedi hadn't managed it, why should he be more successful? It honestly never made any sense to him, and after a time he decided it didn't matter. If he found a way to end the Sith, great. But he wasn't going to let that dictate his life. He wasn't going to be a slave to the prophecy. It wasn't until Mortis that Anakin had started wondering how other Force-using groups viewed the prophecy, and wondered if they had the same interpretation as the Jedi, and assumed it meant the destruction of the Sith, or if they viewed it as something different.
He had also considered the other possibilities.
Historically, every time the Jedi assumed the Sith were gone, they inevitably came back, either because an unknown pocket survived, or someone, a Force-sensitive, discovered a holocron and became drawn into the sinister embrace of the Sith. Was that because the Jedi had upset the balance of power, and the Force merely compensated?
"How did that happen?" Anakin asked quietly, his mind racing while he tried to keep all thoughts of Lunae away from his consciousness.
Mace Windu coughed. Anakin had never seen the older man looking so embarrassed. "We saw your past relationship with Senator Amidala, and what happened to it," the Jedi Master's expression was his usual stern set.
Anakin wanted the ground to swallow him up. He wanted to be dragged down the miles from this height all the way through the layers and layers of metal and concrete towards the planet's natural mantle. "You saw that?" He whispered, but all the Jedi heard him.
"Yes, we did, Anakin," Plo Koon spoke up, "We also saw your….activities from last night."
Anakin blinked despite his face turning so bright red despite his permanently tanned face, Plo Koon was one of the few members of the council he actually took the time to like. They had a lot in common. They were both pilots and they'd had dozens of talks about pod racing, and Anakin had once suggested to the Kel-Dor they should pod race together. The suggestion had garnered a lot of interest. Unfortunately, while the topic of Ahsoka had driven a wedge between them, Anakin had never heard embarrassment from him before.
"Y-You saw?" Anakin whispered, aghast.
"Mean to intrude, we did not. Show us your activities, the Force did," Yoda explained.
"I…I honestly didn't intend for you to see that," Anakin whispered, flustered.
"Oh, we saw it, Anakin," Shaak Ti said.
"Anakin, have you ever heard of a Sith Lord called Darth Plagueis?" Depa Billaba asked, her tone was more than enough to make Anakin turn around and face her directly. Anakin had a very good memory, but he couldn't remember the Sith's name.
"No, Master, I haven't. Why?"
Ki-Adi sighed, "We saw a potential future, one which could come about if we interfere with your….relationship, and if you were still with Senator Amidala. You would have experienced nightmares seeing her dying in childbirth. The nightmares would cloud your judgement, as they were designed to do, and you would be desperate for help. You wouldn't find it here, and then you heard a story of a Sith Lord capable of holding back death."
Anakin had thought he had wanted to sink through the floor to the centre of Coruscant. Now he wanted nothing more than to be teleported into the heart of the star Coruscant orbited. "I would have believed it," he replied, "I would have been desperate to save her because family means everything to me." But then he shook his head. "There's just one problem. For that to work, I'd need to be close to someone. But while I've got acquaintances on this planet, they would need to be close to speaking to me about something like that in a casual conversation and setting."
The logic of Anakin's statement threw the Jedi Masters off balance. "Who do you know, Anakin?" Tinn asked.
"Virtually the whole Jedi Order. Obi-Wan. Senator Amidala. A few people in the races out there. But I don't think any of them are likely to be a Sith in control of the senate," Anakin was referring to the frankly stupid dismissal the council had sent towards Obi-Wan for his report Dooku had told him there was a Sith in charge of the senate, but thinking of the senate…it reminded him of one other, "and the Supreme Chancellor."
The Jedi in the room reacted. They had been growing increasingly….worried about Palpatine recently because he had exceeded his terms of office in the senate, and many of his decisions had raised more red flags than they should.
Yoda silenced the rest of the council, although he made a mental note to speak to Obi-Wan about the meetings Anakin and Palpatine had often. "Question that later, we will," the Grand Master's word was final. "For now, Skywalker's balance to the Force, we shall discuss."
Anakin was surprised and also relieved Yoda was going to move on because the thought of Palpatine being Darth Sidious was a horrifying one.
"Your attachments are concerning to us, Skywalker," Windu said. "Such attachments can lead to the Dark Side."
"I understand that, Master Windu. And that's one of the reasons I came here. I'd planned to speak to you all about what happened last night, and to tell you I'm leaving so any chance of being tempted by the Dark Side will never happen," Anakin replied.
His announcement was met by silence.
"Y-You were going to leave, Anakin?" Obi-Wan replied.
Anakin had known Obi-Wan was not going to like his announcement. Granted, while he was still angry and hurt over his former Masters' actions during the Hardeen disaster and then with Ahsoka. He had put some distance between them, wanting Obi-Wan to understand following the mandate of the Jedi Council all the time was not right.
"Yes," he nodded. "I know temptations to the Dark side are usually based on conflict. I want to avoid that as much as I can. I also want to turn over a new leaf, and make a new life for myself."
"Understandable, that is," Yoda nodded to himself. He could very well understand Anakin's mindset. Originally he and the Council had planned on sending Anakin to the agri-corps long ago just to keep him away from such things, but Darth Maul's actions had put paid to those plans, as had Qui-Gon's request. "Miss you, we will."
Anakin wasn't sure if he believed that, but he nodded anyway. "And I wanted to make some peace with myself for the last few years, the mistakes I've made, everything."
"Like your marriage to Senator Amidala? How did that happen?"
"I thought you saw it through the Force?"
"We did."
"But tell us, please, in your own words what happened?"
Anakin sighed. He lowered his head as he tried to find the right words before he spoke. "When I met her on Tatooine in the junk shop of my slave master, I thought she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. After I was freed, I thought she was the kindest. Fast forward a decade later, I thought she was even more. I won't bore you with how we got married, but after seeing….Lunae in the club the assassin ran into, I knew I'd made a mistake…and like an idiot, I thought I could make it work.
"But it felt fake. Almost forced. And then she began to change. She started to throw herself into danger, expecting me to drop everything, sometimes she got Palpatine to tell me to go despite the distance or whatever I was doing. But the Padme I knew from Naboo, from Geonosis…she seemed to have…vanished. I don't know what happened."
"That's worrying," Master Fisto commented. "You could have been engaged in a very important mission."
"And it did happen," Shaak Ti added.
Anakin nodded, "And I want to try to move on from my guilt over Ahsoka."
"Padawan Tano's departure, not your fault," Yoda said.
Anakin had to restrain the urge to retort it was their fault, but he shook his head. "No, I'm sorry you don't understand," he sighed, "I know many on this council had concerns about my training methods where Ahsoka was concerned. I did it to toughen her up because I was charged with her safety. We were in a galaxy at war, she needed to be ready. I felt the soft training of the typical Jedi was not going to cut it. I knew ordinary Jedi training couldn't keep her safe. I had her standing in the middle of clones, who would fire stun pulses at her. I taught her to become a killing machine because the war required it, and because….I was scared. I was frightened she would die in front of me, and I'd have yet another death on my conscience."
The Jedi Council were shaken. They had witnessed Anakin's brutal training of Ahsoka, but they hadn't expected that. But what stunned them most was the sheer pain and guilt radiating off the usually cocky young man.
"Look, I want to leave the Jedi, make a new life for myself. If you have issues with me being out there on my own, then come and visit," Anakin said in what he hoped was a reasonable voice, knowing that the Jedi Council had become touchy about anyone who left the Order, or any uncontrolled Force-sensitive since they didn't want another Ventress or Dooku running around, especially with the Sith Lord out there.
Yoda had been silent for some time. He had been horrified when he had listened to the very truthful reality Anakin had painted, but his guilt and the way he felt about it was more than enough for him to allow Anakin permission to leave.