Doing his best not to chuckle at the rather adorable sight before him, a task that was proving rather difficult considering the shocked expression of his human born student and Octavia's rather unusual attempt to conceal her tearful expression, Stolas released a slightly grateful sigh as his Blitzy's adoptive daughter decided to put an end to this rather heartwarming display.
"Ok, ok, break it up you two. I know that you've lived a sheltered life princess, but people are gonna start thinking you like your meals from the kiddie menu if you start treating him like your dad treats Blitzo."
Deciding it was now time to intervene in this rather touching reunion, for the last time his Owlette had that look in her eyes it had taken him weeks to repair the damage done to his beloved garden, Stolas cleared his throat to draw the group's attention onto himself.
"Her language, and choice of comparison aside, Loona is right my dear. As much as it breaks my heart to interrupt just a joyful reunion, Harry is here to further his studies. Something which you should have been doing right now if I didn't convince your mother to let you confirm that your friend is still alive and well."
Enjoying the light blush that came over his daughter's cheeks, as well as the look of genuine confusion that was on the young Wizard's face, the lanky owl Demon turned his attention towards the smirking Hellhound.
"I trust that you have something to preoccupy yourself with for the next hour or so? If not, I can easily send you back to Blitzy until it's time for young Harry to depart?"
Having expected the female canine to take him up on the offer, Stolas was surprised and more than a little amused, at her answer.
"Nah, that's alright. With Blitz brainstorming how to profit from our latest job, and the fact that the kid's mother is doing her best to show her…appreciation for Moxxie's sudden spine, I have no better place to be."
Chuckling at this answer, if only because the way she delivered it was almost identical to the way his Imp lover would have, Stolas gestured his hand to the door behind him.
"If that is the case, may I suggest that wait in the game room? The first part of today's lessons will be covering a rather obscure, but rather useful branch of magic. And while there is no danger to your youthful charge, concentration is a crucial element in learning this important art."
Receiving a look that was part irritation part amusement, though the former aspect only became more pronounced as his daughter was shooting the Hellhound a look of superiority, the Goetia Prince was prevented from commenting further thanks to Harry's interference.
"But she can come back when we're working on combat magic right?"
Resisting the urge to chuckle at the glaring expression that was currently being worn by his daughter, as well as the slightly smug expression of Blitzy's adoptive daughter, Stolas nodded his head.
"But of course. I will have to double-check that the protective wards are in place, but other than that I see no reason why she can't observe the lesson. Provided of course you wish to observe your friend's training?"
Choosing to ignore the scowl that was currently being worn by his precious Owlette, if only because addressing it would lead to a conversation he would rather put off for as long as he could, Stolas waited until he received the canine's nod of acceptance before continuing.
"Perfect. Now until that time, feel free to make use of the servants. They've already become somewhat accustomed to dealing with Blitzy's requests, so I have no doubt that they could easily cater to yours. So long as your liver and other organs have the same tolerance for certain substances as Blitzy's."
Receiving a smirk from the gray furred woman, as well as a brief chuckle from the boy who appeared to have finally gotten wise to the nature of some of vices that were commonplace amongst the inhabitants of Hell, Stolas turned his attention back to his young pupils as he began the day's lesson.
"Alright students. Now today we are going to be practicing something that, while not as visually appealing as some of your other spell work, is nevertheless a useful skill to possess. Though I should warn you that for the time being you will only be practicing the more aggressive aspect of this magic within this classroom. So to start us off Via, why don't you explain the differences between Legilimency and Occlumency?'
….
Despite the empty nest feeling he always experienced whenever his beloved daughter was out of earshot, Blitzo nevertheless had numerous things he could be doing with his time.
He could be thinking of the company's next perfectly designed ad campaign.
He could be cleaning his weapons to ensure that they were ready to shoot, stab, or club the next human shit stain they were hired to take out.
And if he was feeling really motivated, he might finally get around to ordering some better technical equipment for the Imp who was forced to do all the paperwork that he couldn't be bothered with.
But thanks to his latest efforts to ensure that he knew every little thing that went on in his place of business, except of course the bathroom that only his darling Looney and Puff the Magic Dragon could use, he was able to enjoy an activity that never failed to bring a smirk to his face.
"Uhh Millie, I don't…uhmm….I don't think I'm gonna..."
"DON'T YOU FUCKING FINISH BEFORE I DO MOXXIE!"
"But….uhhhh…but you've already….oh sweet Satan…..you've already gone twic…"
"AND I…OHHH HELL YESS….I WANT MY THIRD TIME TO HAPPEN AT THE SAME TIME YOU….OH MY THAT'S THE RELEASE YOUR LOAD!"
"But….I…I'm nearly ther…"
"MOXXIE IF YOU DON'T C** INSIDE ME RIGHT NOW I'LL MAKE SURE THAT THE NEXT TIME I SHOVE MY VIBRATOR UP YOUR A** IT'S WITHOUT THE LUBE. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SHOW THIS FARM GIRL THE PROPER WAY TO PLOW A FIELD!"
Chuckling at Millie's show of dominance, which was made all the more amusing since the supply closet camera was showing her to be in a position that didn't exactly speak of anything but submission, Blitzo considered his next course of action.
He could record this latest example of sexual deviancy and sell it to whoever decided to take Valentino's place in the sex trade. He had heard rumors that the multi-limbed porn star, aided by some one-eyed anarchist, was doing a good job in securing his late pimp's interests, but since the remaining members of the V trio had yet to make a move, he thought it best not to draw attention to themselves.
On the other hand, he could simply turn the camera off and give the couple a moment of privacy, since he knew for a fact that Millie's maternal instincts were refusing to let her adopted son sleep in any bed but hers.
But on the other hand, the sight of his two employees going at it, knowing that he was in the same building as them, was enough to convince him that perhaps he should have a little fun himself.
Sadly however, as soon as he managed to unzip his pants, he was greeted to a sight that he would find some way to blame Moxxie for.
But his annoyance quickly disappeared as a highly eccentric voice spoke out from the cloud of dust that had once been his wall.
"Greetings members of I.M.P. I am Loopty Goopty. Dastardly inventor of all things Loopy and Loopish. I have come seeking your services, of which I am prepared to pay top dollar for."
Quickly turning off his T.V. in order to hide the evidence that he was continuing with his voyeuristic hobby, the former circus performer put on his most charming smile as he moved to seal this deal.
"Well then, you've come to the right place Mr. Poopty. My name is Blitzo, and I…"
"I already know WHO you are, you miniature excuse of a pathetic peon. Despite being only in Hell for a week, I assure you that I have done my research in finding out those I can rely on to go topside."
Unfazed by the interruption, though he did allow his hand to hover over one of the countless weapons he had concealed on his person, Blitzo opened his mouth to continue his sales pitch.
Only to once again be interrupted by the petulant whining of his most irritating employee.
"WHY IS THERE A HOLE IN THE WALL?"
"Because my pathetic little Imp, I put one there."
Fighting the urge to smirk as the cartoonish-looking freak answered Moxxie's question, the taller Imp allowed the two to lightly bicker before he decided to get back to business.
"WHY would you do that?"
"Because how else was I suppose to enter from the outside?"
"You know we have a door right?"
"But that would go against my aesthetic. As an eccentric inventor, I am obligated to perform actions that are as whimsical as they are nonsensical."
"Yes but…"
"Moxxie shut up. Just cause you're suddenly man enough to rail your wife at the office doesn't mean you have the right to argue with our clients."
Enjoying the look of mortification that was currently displayed on his fellow Imp's face, though he was enough of a gentleman to ignore the embarrassed, yet nevertheless satisfied look that was being worn by Millie, Blitzo wasted little time in getting to the task at hand.
"My employee's idiocy aside Mr. Goopty, I have to say that I admire your drive. Only a week down here and you're already taken the steps to get back at one of the pricks who caused you to be denied your heavenly reward. But enough about that. Who do you want us to kill? How do you want us to kill them? And how much money are you willing to pay to get the job done?"
And from there, the members of I.M.P. got all the details they needed to perform their latest hit.
…..
"Are you sure this is the place, Collin? I mean, it's a nice enough neighborhood, but it doesn't exactly scream magical."
Frowning a little at Keenie's question, for even if she didn't mean it her words still carried a slightly judgemental quality to them, the periwinkle-colored Cherub could only sigh as he tried to explain their current difficulties.
"They are technically on our list, even if our clients specifically stated that their son shouldn't be in their care. But their first choice for a guardian is in that dreadful prison."
"Oooh don't remind me. Even if we're immune to those mixed-blood demons, that place was awful."
Ignoring his boss, Collin continued down his list.
"The couple who were the second choice are in no state to look after their own child, much less another one."
Slightly tearing up at an example that made him understand why some misguided souls believed death to be a solution if one's existence couldn't be considered living, Collin lightly pouted as Keenie picked up from where he had let off.
"One we deemed unsuitable because he lacks the ability to control and provide for his monthly transformations. Another is a traitorous rat, whose presence in that large but loving family sadly disqualifies them for consideration. Two are too elderly and busy with their noble careers to dedicate themselves towards the raising of a child."
Choosing to remain silent at that last bit even though he wished to include another factor that disqualified the bearded human for consideration, the blue wooled Cherub found himself wearing a slight frown as Cletus described the remaining candidates who had made the Potter's will.
"One, while possessing an innocence that allows him to love all of God's creatures, sadly lacks the knowledge on how to take care of a human child. While the other…..despite his recent desire to seek redemption has a long, long way to go before he is welcome in God's kingdom. But since none of these humans are in possession of the boy, and the fact that we can only interact with the human our clients' have contracted us to protect, the last place we have to look into before we consult one of our superiors is his closest living relatives."
Though nodding his head in agreement with his boss's reasoning, Collin couldn't help but hope that this stop would also prove to be a failure.
For while it was intimidating to seek help from their superiors, even if Deerie was more indifferent than outright hostile, the fact remained that his notes regarding the Dursleys didn't paint them in a favoring light.
And while Mrs. Potter had made it plain that her sister's hatred for all these magical stemmed from the sin of envy, Collin believed that the presence of her magic using nephew would serve to keep these unhealthy feelings alive.
"God be praised! The signature is faint, but the house ahead does possess a clear trace of magic."
Ignoring the small feeling of disappointment he felt at having his hopes dashed if only because it meant that he could now return to the Potters with the news that their child was alive and well, the sheeplike Cherub moved to voice his agreement with his boss.
Only for Keenie, whose senses were a tad more developed than his own, to announce something that no servant of the Lord wished to hear.
"I smell….Hellfire".
…
Despite the fact that he was both sore, covered in bruises, and was sporting a few slowly healing cuts on his arms and face, Harry nevertheless didn't bear any ill will towards the one responsible for his current predicament.
If only because he had managed to get his sweet revenge by using a spell that had managed to not only make his sadistic trainer beg for mercy but also send the usually composed avian teenager into a fit of giggles.
Something which oddly enough seemed to annoy the pony-tailed Hellhound even more than the fact that he had used magic to lock her legs together and trip her up.
Though sadly Loona sought to vent at him first rather than Octavia.
"I thought you said you wanted to learn how to fight WITHOUT using whatever tricks the perverted dick bird was teaching you."
And just like that, Octavia's expression of amusement turned into one of annoyance.
"Need I remind you that you're currently in the home of the 'perverted dick bird'? The least you can do is show a modicum of respect considering my dad's decision to offer you and the rest of your group a place to sit out this year's Extermination."
Frowning a little at the reminder that he would soon be experiencing his first glimpse of the horrid day when God's soldiers descended into Hell to carry out his will, Harry was quickly broken out of his depressing thoughts thanks to Loona's dismissive snort.
"Considering your dad allows Blitzo to call him names that are more insulting, I think I'm showing the proper respect by keeping it simple. Anyway, we're getting off-topic. Harry, mind explaining why you cheated?"
Doing his best to retain his composure as he stared into the less than pleased expression of the female Hellhound, Harry decided to risk her anger by using an answer that would have been accepted by either his mother or the childish Imp that was their employer.
"Technically I didn't cheat considering you told me to fight dirty. And since I kept getting hurt every time I tried to go for what I thought was a weak point, I decided the best way to end this was to use a leg locking jinx. Hard to do since I was trying to avoid your attacks…"
"Which you were doing rather well until she went for the legs."
Shooting a grateful smile to the supportive owl Demon, even if it did manage to cause Loona's glare to worsen, the young wizard hurried to finish his defense.
Only to have the grey-furred Hellhound finish it for him.
"So you decided to end it on your terms. Well, I suppose that I can't blame you for wanting to win. However…"
It was here that her expression morphed into something that was far scarier than a frown.
"As I stated before the whole point of this exercise was to teach you how to win a fight WITHOUT the use of magic. And even if you managed to win, you still took a lot of damage and tired yourself out, making this exercise pointless."
Frowning dejectedly at this piece of news, Harry quickly regained his enthusiasm as Loona did something she rarely did for her other co-workers.
Giving positive feedback.
"But, your reflexes are good, though we do need to work on building up your stamina until your dragon resilience kicks in. While somewhat weak and predictable, your attacks showed a little promise since you went for areas that would seriously fuck up an enemy. I'll try not to hold it against you."
Laughing nervously as she shot him a smirk, Harry kept quiet as Loona finished her critiquing.
"And you didn't hesitate to cheat when you realized that you were never gonna win fairly. We still have a lot of work to do, but you have the right mindset."
Beaming as she proceeded to further mess up his already unruly hair, Harry soon sported a look of concern as Loona turned her attention towards Octavia.
"And how about you Princess? Care to step into the ring and see how you measure up? Or are you the type that prefers to order others to get their hands dirty since your too much of a stuck-up bit.."
Jumping back as the normally composed teenager launched a blast of pink-colored fire at the mocking Hellhound, who of course nimbly dodged it before adopting the traditional 'come at me bro' pose, Harry quickly retreated to the sidelines as he watched a spectacle that was probably only possible because Stolas had to step out for a bit.
Since he sincerely doubted that the eccentric owl Demon would have tolerated the sight of his daughter being slashed at by a snarling Hellhound.
Though he had to admit that Octavia was doing a lot better than he thought she would considering that apart from that opening blast she had chosen to rely solely on her physical talents.
Even if it was readily apparent that she was more of a speedster than a brawler.
She managed to land a few odd blows on the violently slashing Hellhound, it did little damage and sadly left her wide open.
That being said, while it was clear that this style of fighting favored Loona, for she had both speed and power on her side, she rarely managed to land a hit on her avian opponent.
He suspected that the fight would eventually end in her favor since Octavia lacked the power and durability to withstand a battle of attrition. But perhaps if she was lucky enough to avoid some of Loona's more vicious lunges, she could…
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"
Jumping out of his seat at the less than pleased tone of the female owl Demon, Harry tried to come up with an answer that she would deem acceptable.
Only to have a visibly tired Octavia beat him to it.
'We…we were training, mother."
Though the answer was sufficient enough to make the older Demon lower her tone, it was not enough to take the edge off her anger.
"Is that so? Cause from where I'm standing, it looked more like you were engaged in the sort of violent behavior that only the lower orders subject themselves to."
Not liking the way her eyes turned towards Loona as she said this, Harry decided to use the one trump card he had to play in this sort of situation.
"Please Madam Stella it was my fault. I wanted to know how to fight without magic since my kidnappers ensured that I couldn't really use it. And since Vi…I mean Octavia only offered to show me the correct way to fight an attacker since I failed my first lesson, the fault rests with me. Not with them."
Doing his best to ignore Via's look of carefully guarded gratitude, as well as Loona's look of amusement that told him she knew exactly what he was trying to do, Harry had to fight the urge to sigh in relief as the intimidating avian woman slowly nodded her head.
"I suppose that is an acceptable excuse. However Octavia you are a member of the Goetia family. Next time you are in a fight, you do NOT limit yourself. Do you understand?"
"Yes, mother."
However, his relief soon proved to be misplaced as Stella shot him a small smirk.
"And as for you, a valid effort, but you're still a few decades away from being able to play the game properly. But since you at least made the effort, I will not be the one who delivers your proper punishment. That honor I'll leave for your…parents."
Ignoring the distasteful expression that had come over her face as she used the correct title for the Imps who treated him like their son, Harry did his best to keep his fear in check as he imagined what his mother and father would do to him once he got home.
His only hope for escaping punishment for fighting without supervision, something he had hoped to conceal with a bit of magic, rested in his parents having a good day at work instead of the usual chaos they endured.
It was wishful thinking, but he had noticed that the temperature seemed to be dropping outside a bit so, he could only hope
…
Despite this being perhaps one of the worst days of his life, though it paled in comparison to the events that had trapped his spirit inside a foul and decaying sack of flesh that could only be supported by the one remaining love in his life, Lyle Lipton nevertheless derived a certain degree of satisfaction from watching the agents of Heaven and Hell fight over his prematurely aged carcass.
At first, he had nearly cried with joy when he discovered that there were those willing to help him put an end to his suffering. Then of course he had cried when it became apparent that someone upstairs hated him enough to ensure that his soul remained trapped in a body that could no longer move without pain, or contain the foul-smelling liquids that frequently burst forth from his shriveled nether regions.
But to see two factions violently battle over the right to decide his fate? Two of their members possessing features that would have made his now useless manhood stand at attention, it was enough to make him realize that perhaps he could enjoy his life without the presence of his beloved partner.
Especially since it was clear that the red-skinned babe with the perfectly formed posterior, and the dream girl of every lonely Welshman, had more than his rotten soul to squabble over.
It was a real shame that he didn't have a bag of popcorn on hand or the digestive system to handle it. For what was going on before him was quality entertainment.
"Where the fuck do you get off telling us off for doing our job? The bastard's going down anyway, so get out of our way you wool-covered floozy!"
"FLOOZY! That's big talk coming from a foul creature like you. Especially since some of your more infernal brethren actually have the figure to pull off an outfit like that. They're still scum-sucking tempters, but at least they pick their clothing on what they possess rather than what they possess."
"That's rich coming from you. Or didn't you realize that your look is favored by a 'specific' demographic of the My Little Pony Fan Club? You basically the fantasy girl of every sheep-herding virgin worldwide."
"Yeah? Well, at least my people don't kidnap little boys to make them reject the love of God!"
"Your so-called priests already do that. Hard to fall in love with the Gman if your getting sodomized in his house. I'm just happy Harry didn't have to put up with shit before we brought him downstairs."
"That's….wait. What did you say?"
Sadly he would never get to hear the conclusion of this compelling conversation thanks to the fact that the male members of the supernatural debate team had managed to somehow send a piano flying in his direction.
But since his hands were stained with the blood of the homeless, and the occasional orphan, he was certain that if he cared enough to remember, he would enquire as to how the argument ended.
Again, IF he cared.
…..
Despite knowing that this being possessed more power than he could ever hope to match, even if his former status as a wizard gave him a bit of a power boost compared to nonmagical souls, James Potter nevertheless a very real desire to strangle the angelic being that bore little resemblance to the noble creature that was his animagus form.
"Yeaaaaahhhh soooooo, we've checked the records, and it looks like there might be more than a grain of truth in what our currently exiled coworkers have claimed. Sorry."
But while he somehow managed to restrain his rising anger, his understandably infuriated wife did not.
"You mean to tell me that our son was kidnapped by Demons? And you did NOTHING to prevent it?"
Of course, this did nothing to change Deerie's attitude.
"Yeaaahhhh sorry. We kinda did drop the ball on this one. Our bad."
Unable to bear Lily's heartbroken expression, James felt his fists clench as the uncaring CHERUB offered up a consolation prize to ease their suffering.
Though in truth that only made their anger worse.
"However since we recognize that the pair of you might want to vent your aggressive tendencies, we've decided to grant a special classification for the Sinners who were responsible for your son's vulnerability to the forces of Evil. Apart from yourselves, no other Exorcist will touch the Dursley family during the course of this year's trip down below. Hopefully, that will help you come to terms with this regrettable…situation. Is that good?"
Slowly nodding his head, James was unsurprised when Lily, who had smartly waited for Deerie to leave for her next appointment, voiced a thought that he could only agree with.
"We're finding our son James. And we're bringing him back."
…..
ANNNNNNNND another chapter out of the way XD
Once again a big thanks to Darksycthe Drake for helping with this story. Strongly suggest you read some of their stories as well.
AND…exciting news….this story has managed to get TWO mentions on the TV Tropes website. In the PapaWolf and Did you just punch out Cthulhu Fan works category. It's a small accomplishment I know, always thought the Screw the Rebellion/Vader Goblins Bane would have gotten a mention since they were quickly popular, but still nice to see.
And as always, pleased to see that this story is still proving to be popular with the readers. Though I am thinking of taking a small break from it in order to work on some of my more neglected stories.
Anyways just to clarify/address some things.
In regards to Stella….I think it's safe to say that I will not being going the canon route with her. Of course will probably use some elements from the new episodes, BUT I already have an idea of how her character will progess (which was influenced by some other stories) soo…yeah lol.
And FINALLY moving forward with the Extermination/James and Lily segment. Not 100% sure how that will end up since I have lots of ideas, but as I said…FINALLLY moving forward XD
Also it has been pointed out to me that the latest episode can be done any old time….so will probably have something like that happen in the far future….thinking Harry's summer between 1st and 2nd year.
Anyways, plz review. No flames.
Hope you all enjoyed
Til next time.