Chapter 5: Answers for Questions, Questions for Answers

'To laugh or not to laugh, that is the question.'

And he would have laughed out loud, if Nerya wasn't so fidgety and nervous. Two words he never expected to associate with her, and seeing her like that was disconcerting; at least for the first ten minutes. But then he got carried away by the happy dance he was doing internally 'She wants to tellme, it'smeshe needs-needs!-to talk to, she trusts me, she's opening up!' Let alone that the state she was in had started to amuse him as well.

They were still beside the lake and Nerya was pacing back and forth in front of him, her whole existence dripping nervousness, and not unlike a madman, she was mumbling incoherently to herself. She had explicitly forbid Albus to speak, told him to stay there and keep still. Albus was waiting patiently, biting down his smile. After Merlin knows how long, she finally stopped in front of him. For the third time.

Yes, it was amusing, he noted, because it was so unlike her; but also, and mainly, because right now he wasn't the one disconcerting her. Nerya was preparing to share something that was obviously both very important and very difficult to her; it was only reasonable to be nervous.

He respected her wish and didn't dare speak, not even to reassure. Albus was a man of intellect, dedicated to progress and the search for truth; he had long ago understood that narrow-mindedness and prejudice of any kind were traits he couldn't afford. Nerya would have never chosen to speak if she was unsure whether her listener would scorn her and be prejudiced against her. That was a trait they shared, Albus believed.

Nerya swayed on her feet, face tense and taut. She closed her eyes and her shoulders slumped.

»Maybe telling you all of it at once isn't a very good idea.» she whispered. «Maybe I should have taken it piece by piece, threw you bits of information at random times, stretch it over time, allow you space to come to terms with it.» She opened her eyes decidedly. «But that would be unfair to you and torture to me.»

Albus just smiled gently, a tad sadly, but he didn't utter his thoughts.

'Yes, you wonder, you know how I can be a bloody vampire when it comes to new, interesting information; I latch on the source and suck without remorse. But, I would have been patient for you, I would have. Nevertheless, you are right; why should you hold back? You said you need to speak, and I'm sure that didn't come to you on a whim. Fall, my loveliness, and I will catch you. Fall, and do not fear. I've never been so certain in my life: I will not disappoint you.'

Nerya almost breathed in his smile, it gave her the oxygen her anxious state was depriving her. She could see that Albus was finding it all quite amusing, and, well, she wasn't very far from agreeing with him, only in a bitter, self-deprecating way. How ridiculous the things she was about to utter would sound? Would he avoid her, afterwards? What they had was too precious, she wouldn't dream of losing it. Albus had placated her just now, but she wanted to hear it again, and again.

But then, if it all went wrong, wouldn't that mean that she had misjudged both Albus and the situation between them? If their precious thing didn't survive this ordeal, wouldn't that mean that their connection was more flimsy and unsound than she believed? And if it wasn't as steady and deep as she right now thought it was, then would it be so very precious?

'This is a test.' She squared her shoulders.

'You'll risk the exposure of our world, and to test a stranger, no less?' but Nerya had already tuned out her mother's voice. She wasn't reckless; Albus had never been a stranger, not even at first. Familiarity had come to them as if they had known each other for years, it seemed natural, obvious, given. It just was so weird, how two people could be like that so easily, so it took her some time to wrap her head around it and accept it.

She took a long breath, 'please believe me, please believe me, please,' and with a broken voice, she said,

«I'm not human.»

Albus, perceiving that he was allowed to speak now, went for a witty retort at what he considered a joke or euphemism, but swallowed it upon seeing Nerya's raised palm and serious expression.

«No- Please, now that I found the courage, just… let me finish.» She took another shaky breath. «Remember last night, I… I told you a few things about my… people?»

Albus nodded, his brows creased as the amusement in his face slowly drained away. Nerya wasn't just nervous anymore; she was looking at himdesperately. Even her face had turned ashen; the face that was always so bright and radiant. She was being serious.

She blurted out, «I belong to a race called the Elves.» She underlined her statement with a curt nod of her head and a nervous swallow.

Albus shifted his weight, his head tilted, his eyes trying to find the meaning of her words on the patch of sky beyond her shoulder. Nerya gave him some time, silently panting and chewing her lip.

'Albus likes new things, he likes to be surprised.' she tried to placate her anxiousness. 'Albus' mind is craving for wonders, I know that, everybody knows that. He's always researching, always looking for truths nobody knows of yet. Surely that will be somewhat helpful! I can give him wonder and awe, a whole new plane of existence, literally, for him to play academical Columbus in;' she tried to force down the lump in her throat.

'He only needs to believe me first.'

After a while, Albus turned his eyes on her again. «You mean like a… sect? A secret society of some sort?» he guessed, his whole face a crease of bewilderment.

Nerya's desperation grew. «N-N-No. I-I'm not hu-» breathe Nerya, breathe, «human, I belong to a different race.» She articulated as clearly as her trembling allowed.

Albus would have laughed at the fact that Nerya's eyes had taken the size of galleons, if he didn't have the unnerving feeling that there was still something huge he was missing. He folded his lips on one another and took a deep breath too.

«Well, to be honest,» he started carefully, «I had considered a possibility of you not being entirely human, a half-Veela was one of my-»

«No, not half human, I'm not human at all!» she cried, before looking around nervously, checking if someone was within earshot.

Albus' eyes searched around.

«So-so-so, so you're some… sort of mmmagical creature, we've never heard of yet?» Albus tried, stammering and bemused. That wasn't unreasonable. He knew from personal experience how understudied that particular field was.

«Well, I suppose that in a way I am…» she stammered warily, not sure if she should feel relief or despair with the path Albus' mind had followed.

«Because you-you-you said… Elves…» Albus didn't seem to hear her, it was more like he was talking to himself. «There are the house elves but they're not… don't bear much resemblance to… hhhumans…? I-I me-mean there are human-like young girls called fairies or elves but only in muggle myths and fairy tales…» he mumbled absently, his brow was creased by something more than plain bemusement and puzzlement. His eyes returned on her to study her intently. And Nerya really didn't want to name one of the things they conveyed.

«I don't know if that's how our memory survived…» she needed to bring him on the right path, «I mean, it's been 6000 years since we left Earth, perhaps we inspired the notion behin-» but horror gripped her heart and her voice trailed off, because Albus' face had faltered; she saw him fall into panic and now she couldn't ignore it anymore: there was suspicion.

Albus immediately closed his eyes, counted his breaths. All that was echoing in the empty cavity of his mind were overlapping exclamations like,

'is this ajoke?'

'Don't disappoint her.'

'No it isn't, look at her, you moron!'

'Don't disappoint her.'

'If not a joke, then what does she mean?'

'Don't disappoint her.'

'I need more information'

'Don't disappoint her.'

'Please, no more, don't say anything else, just stop, everything must just STOP!'

Seconds ticked by excruciatingly. When he languidly opened his eyes again, his face was empty, even his eyes seemed void. The twinkling eyes Nerya had come to adore.

When Nerya saw him facing her but not quite seeing her, she felt energy drain from her limbs; 'Holy fuck, he's occluding', she thought in sheer panic. Albus always had a bare minimum of shields up, but now he was seriously occluding, Nerya could feel it. And judging by the result it produced, it was a sloppy, desperate, rushed but very forceful attempt. It didn't matter who he was trying to protect by smothering his reaction, her or himself. The point was that he was locking himself away, and that wouldn't lead to anything good.

Suspicion was ok, suspicion, she could work with. She needed to bring him back to her, before either of them slipped too far out of reach.

»Aaah, uhm, I'm not kidding you… uh… I can explain!»

She started blurting out whatever she could think that might help Albus understand what exactly she meant. Elves and immortal and departure from Earth, and how her people are and what they are good at, she lost herself in brainstorming, words were erupting out of her, jumpily and stammering. Talking made her feel like she was doing something instead of nothing, and she thought that it would allow Albus time to sort out his thoughts; maybe even ground him a bit, flood him with facts, show him that her words weren't empty.

After a while she ran out of breath, of facts, of energy and she didn't have a clue how much of her words had registered into Albus' seemingly comatose brain. She kept the silence, taking in everything about him, trying to perceive what he was thinking and bracing herself for whatever might come.

'Holy shit, maybe I shouldn't have blurted it all out like that.' was a thought that came too late. 'Selfish, foolish little orc.'

«ththng» Albus closed his eyes and Nerya could actually see his brain forcing his mouth into articulation. Not very successfully. «The thing… (rapid blinking) sssecret… ththat you were hiding ah… (nervous swallow) a-all this time…» he looked as if he was drunk and trying to calculate 567 by 8735, «is that you are imimmo-» he seemed to reconsider, «an Elf?»

His voice was hoarse, his lips were parted, his brow was creased in utter, relentless bewilderment and Nerya could swear that if she knocked on his skull, the sound would come out hollow. She actually wondered how he managed to utter all these words instead of just exclaiming a trembling 'Are you mocking me?' And for his restrain, she was utterly torn between gratefulness and despair.

Albus' reaction wasn't as bad, loud or angry as Nerya had fretted it would be, but it was pretty alarming, all the same, mainly because it was so atypical of him. It was like he had turned into a statue, he stood frozen and tense, his face blank, and the only thing that kept Nerya from taking him to the hospital wing in fear of his heart having stopped, was the fact that he was blinking; owlishly slowly, but still.

«Yes.» She answered patiently. She chose to address the matter Albus had left unsaid. «From what I know most humans consider immortality as something far beyond them. They believe it exists only in the context of religion, right?» An academical plain; facts. Facts are good, facts are grounding.

«Ah…» he seemed to be searching the source of a voice that came to him from far beyond. When he focused on Nerya, well, more like turned his emptiness towards her face, he started, slowly and dazedly. «Y-Yea-yeah, the muggles, mainly. Bbbut for wizards too it's not… (he shook his head slightly). If you are… uhm…human(he tasted the word)… death is a certainty. Eeh… P-p-perhaps the only cccertainty. athv… Avoiding that usually means atat-at least c-corruption; well, there's the philosopher's stone, bbbbut, nnn- in any case s'not something that hhhappens easily, or… or without its toll.» Albus mumbled absent-mindedly, his eyes not really focusing.

'Well,' Nerya thought, 'emptiness apart, at least he responded.'

Still his shields were fortified as if whole armies were about to lay siege to his mind and steal him of his dirtiest secrets. Nerya had never purposefully invaded someone's mind since she got here, but sometimes she got carried away and caught glimpses of thoughts unintentionally. With Albus not even that could happen, because he had a permanent barrier; it was faint and it couldn't really hold back a proper penetration, it didn't take much energy to maintain, and he had managed to establish it as a subroutine, so it barely needed any conscious effort. Normal thing for those who study the mental arts, yet an impressive feat for a fifteen year old human, Nerya had always thought. Now though, she could feel being mentally pushed away, although she couldn't be sure whether it was directed to her specifically, or Albus was just so desperate to detach himself from his feelings, that he put too much energy and effort into the task without realising it.

His eyes were fixed on her, but without the intensity his gaze usually held. His empty face was unnerving, but he cutting himself off from her was the worst part.

«Albus.» she reached out to touch his hand. Albus didn't seem to register the touch. «Tell me what you need.» she said quietly, in nervous, desperate seriousness.

It took some time for her words to register, but after a while he blinked again, as if emerging from a trance. Albus focused on her after a couple of seconds. «Ah…»

'I'm not pulling your leg.» She reassured him searchingly.

For a moment his face was a perfect depiction of a drowning man, but then he closed his eyes again and mumbled, «yeah, yeah, I can, uhm, I can see that.» A moment's frown followed his words, but a couple of blinks sent it away very quickly, and his face returned to that unnatural blankness. «It's just that… uhm… I'm having some… difficulty…» his empty eyes had trailed away again, his lips were parted, «aaah, understanding what exactly you mean…» his eyes returned to her, again conveying… nothing.

'Understanding,' Nerya thought, 'notbelieving. oh, my considerate Albus, what am I doing to you?'

«Would it help if you saw some proof?» she said carefully, searchingly. «Something more… solid?

He just hummed; a high-pitched, strained sound, but at least conveyed agreement.

Nerya breathed again, just a little, but it was an improvement. «Alright, It would be a good idea though, to go somewhere more secluded…»

«Yes, uhm…» Albus blinked a couple of times. «Let's find… something… an empty classroom or something.»

Suddenly he was like a device that someone activated. A very lost-looking Albus grabbed Nerya's wrist, more like seized it as if it were a life boat, to be honest, and he was applying quite a bit more pressure than needed, as he dragged her towards the castle at a quick pace.

For a moment, this sudden activity took Nerya by surprise, but then she just let herself be manhandled. Albus' hold on her hand had started to be properly painful, but she didn't dare send her only reassurance away; after what she inflicted on him, he might as well bruise her all he wanted. Why did she have to overwhelm him like that? Why did she allowed her anxiousness cloud her judgement? No, she had handled the whole situation very poorly indeed. A bruise was the least she deserved. She was only grateful Albus had chosen to seize her instead of running away from her.

But then she considered how Albus would feel if he saw the bruises he had inflicted. Nerya would never be able to convince him it wasn't his fault. No, if she were to suddenly engage in self-harm, she would do it in a way that will not make Albus feel like it's his fault too. She tried to unclasp his hand from hers, gently and carefully, unwilling to disturb his thoughts again, but it wouldn't badge.

«Uhm, Albus? Albus?» she said then, as tentatively and sweetly as the rattling of her heart echoing in her ears could allow.

«Ehh, ye-yes?» he turned to her, looking lost.

«I like it that you are holding my hand, but I usually don't allow someone to bruise me so early in the conversation.» she said hesitantly, foolishly hoping against hope that the joke might remind him of their familiarity, soothe him in some way, as he found himself in strange and unnerving tides.

Albus looked down, widened his eyes in understanding and released her at once «Uhm, sorry. Sorry.» He mumbled forcefully as he shook his head and pressed a palm on his forehead. «I… I am obviously ridiculously confused.» Nerya would have chuckled if she weren't so bloody anxious.

Albus stayed looking at her blankly for a moment, Nerya boiling with nervousness and searching his face. His face that gave away nothing. After a while she gently nudged his shoulder. Albus shook his head, but that did nothing to shoo away the emptiness of his expression. As they proceeded towards the castle, they both retreated into their minds, an occupation made easier by the scarcity of people wandering in the corridors.

Other than silently praying for this –frankly, ridiculous- ordeal to be figured out as neatly as possible, she wasn't able to think about much else. They had started down the slope, so all they could do now was roll with the snow. That thought didn't do much to ease her nerves though, that were being tattered by the contradictory feelings she was experiencing. She was anxious about how Albus would eventually react, (because blankness wasn't a reaction in her books), but so relieved she managed to open up. Fearful yet appeased. Excited and eager to know what was going on in his mind, while nervous on the point of collapsing.

In the meanwhile she kept shooting sideways glances at Albus' face. At first he didn't seem to know what his thoughts were either. But as they were briskly walking on and on Nerya witnessed the gradual alterations of his expression. From lost and blank it slowly turned into lost and frowned, and it got stuck at just frowned by the time they were somewhere on the third floor. Deeply, intensely, properly frowned, but at least he seemed to have taken control over his mind again.

Nerya had never properly appreciated how enormous Hogwarts was. She had gotten lost a couple of times during her first days, but soon habit and her peers taught her the quickest routes to all the usual places. She had admired the building from the outside, but she had never really walked the corridors as thoroughly as they were doing now. Yes, in theory Hogwarts was huge. But her reality right now was making her actually consider the termexcruciatinglyendless. Under the current circumstances, she didn't have the mind to appreciate architectural matters; she was boiling, bubbling, as she followed Albus around and wished for a development, any development at all.

'When did I become so dependent on what someone will say or do?' for a moment she thought she should have wondered, but Albus wasn't just someone. And it is worth it to lose the serenity of mind that detachment provides, when you have found someone worth to be truly attached to.

What he was thinking remained a mystery and she didn't want to interrupt his thoughts. The mental pushing had gradually decreased; all Nerya could feel was a bit more than the minimum barrier. His hand had at some point released hers as well, and Nerya berated herself for reading too much into it.

Could he be angry that she kept something like that from him? No, she thought; he had even apologized for pressuring her last night, something that he had hardly done. Additionally, Albus would surely understand very well why she had to be careful about this kind of information. He was shocked, stunned, bewildered, suspicious even, but not angry.

But did he believe her? Obviously not yet, or at least not fully, but he hadn't chosen to run off or mock her either, so that was a good start. And the way he had grabbed her hand; as if he was afraid she might disappear. He had lots of questions and she would make sure he got all the answers that she was capable of giving.

'But why isn't he asking them already?'

If his frown were an indicator, Nerya would say that the first wave of bewilderment was over. 'Therefore,' her mind started to wake up, 'something is stopping him, detaching him from me.' It was like he was preparing himself, thinking things through before discussing them with her. Well, that was reasonable, he always measured his words like one would do potions ingredients; also he was intelligent and proud and he would never settle for accepting a conclusion made by someone else, without first checking its legitimacy.

But was that a reasonable explanation for all this lengthy, heart-breaking silence? No. There was something more.He was being careful.

She could feel her heart literally braking. Albus was being careful and it was directedather. And the worst thing was that she really couldn't blame him for it, because if she were in his shoes, she would have found it very difficult to believe all this too. The danger of seeming gullible or delusional was looming over the entire situation, and both she and Albus had the weakness of wanting to be the smart ones, the ones who understood everything and that no one could trick.

But on the other hand, why shouldn't one believe something that someone they trust is telling them?

Oh, no. Oh, FUCK. Fuckfuckfuck.

'He does trust me,' her eyes widened in panic, 'does he not?'

She trusted Albus enough to tell him. And she had supposed that he trusted her too, at least enough to take her seriously. Apart from some childhood stories that he had shared with her last night, he hadn't really done anything that screamed of trust. That, however, might be her fault as well; no matter how much her curiosity had been itching her to ask personal questions, she had smothered them, lest it all backfired and she found herself opening up as well.

But all those walls concerned only this single matter: their families, background, and nothing more than that. And she had reasoned that if he could understand her so well, that meant that he knew who she was, therefore he would trust her. Now that seemed like a hasty conclusion. What if he didn't trust her enough to overcome something so big, so seemingly unbelievable? Would just three months of knowing each other be enough? And in those three months, they had barely had a few proper hang-outs together. Practically, their single proper, actual, real, eye-opening time together was last night.

How can anyone presume to know a person under those circumstances? Albus hadn't had many chances to study her closely, to test her and draw his conclusions. He obviously liked her and enjoyed her company ('at least until today,' she mused ominously), and last night he felt it too, Nerya was sure; hefelt how similar they were. But under those circumstances, that was immaterial, it was the equivalent of a hunch.

And for brains like theirs, a hunch is never enough. Say, she was in his place. Even if she managed to bend her reason into accepting something that seemed unbelievable, she would need a very strong initiative and the process would take forever. She suppressed the hateful, wicked voice from earlier, which was trying to come back with a vengeance. She didn't really need it, she was doing a fine job on her own. Should she have waited more? Why, dear Eru above,whyhad the revelation seemed long overdue instead of a hasty move? For once, just once, Nerya decided to follow her heart and act on impulse, and she immediately bumped into reason, that bitch, reason who was now sneering maliciously at her idiocy and insufficiency.

Her heart was galloping in her chest and it seemed to her so loud, that she turned to check if Albus had heard its frenzy beat too.

Her eyes met his studying stare. Immersed as she was in panic and other counter-productive dwelings, she hadn't noticed when his attention had shifted on her. Apart from his frown, his face was unreadable. Her heart sunk even deeper. He moistened his lips, as his eyes searched somewhere ahead.

«Is it bruising time yet?» Albus said quietly, as if asking her to remind him. He had on his usual 'I'm joking but I'm keeping a straight face' expression, but the familiar twinkle was nowhere to be seen.

Nerya searched his face, more baffled by the second. 'Are you just trying to cheer me up or do you mean…? can you mean…?' And then hope kindled a small flame in her chest; warmness enfolded her whole. Her eyes widened, as a question filled her mind and heart. 'He believes me?' She didn't dare to give in to relief, however. The question 'How can he just believe me like that? What I'm saying is positively unbelievable!' mingled with the previous one, and the result screwed up her face between wonder, disbelief and a bit of disappointment. Said mixture faltered, when Nerya saw Albus' face relax for the first time in what seemed like forever.

He suddenly looked tired, his mouth became slack but was drawn into an almost smile. «I was just trying to break the ice, although it was fun seeing you struggle between hugging or berating me. Aaah,» he became startled, suddenly seemed dubious, «if that's what you were-» he begun hesitantly, but Nerya cut him off.

«Yes, yes, that's what I was thinking, but» Nerya hurried to dismiss the obvious, «my thoughts aren't important right now, only yours are.»

Albus just stared at her unblinkingly for a moment, seemingly struggling about something. Then he blinked and sighed. «I hate to drag it on like this, but…» he searched her eyes, struggling for the right words, his manner guarded, «I… I still have… questions. I don't want to… to say somethi-»

«And I would never ask you to say something hasty, that's not who you are and I don't need empty words.» Nerya interrupted him again, gently but decidedly.

Albus stayed watching her again, with a crease between his brows. Nerya went back to desperately trying to understand what on middle earth was going on inside that brain of his.

«Perhaps you would like some privacy?» she guessed, trying hard to hold her chin high and her voice steady.

«Wha- No!» he woke up, startled. He tidied his face quickly. «I mean, what makes you say that, pray?» he asked more politely.

Nerya tried to ignore the spark of hope in her chest. Hope is a cruel thing after all. «Well, you haven't uttered a word for quite some time now.» she tried to sound nonchalant. «I thought it best to provide you with…» she averted her eyes as she finished, but her voice was clear, «a way out.»

«Oh, shut up and come in here, you fiend of a woman.» he exclaimed, and he dragged her, more gently now, into an empty room. Nerya against her better judgement hopefully skipped inside.

«Are you a woman, by the way?» Albus turned to her, wearing his expression of polite interest, though it came out more breathless than usual.

Nerya closed the door behind her, surprised by the question. Was it irony or had he decided not to take anything for granted?

»Well, anatomically speaking, I am. But in our culture, sex is just another variation. Like the colour of hair or eyes. It doesn't really mean as much as it means here. Our sex doesn't… define us.» Nerya explained, gently but steadily. «Our social standing defines the norm we should comply to, far more than our sex does.»

Albus made an indistinct sound, something between a whimper and a breathless laugh, his eyes lost far away. He would have stayed like that for ever, if Nerya hadn't decided to step in.

«Shall we speak solid? A revelation or counter-spell will reveal the change I've made in my appearance. Would you like to do it yourself?» Without waiting for a reply, Nerya stood in front of Albus expectantly, her eyes closed.

After a moment she heard Albus' voice mutter some incantations (not one, but a few - she nervously noticed). She waited until Albus' voice was heard no more, then opened her eyes and found him looking at her with a mixture of confusion and suspicion.

«Ah… I don't...» he almost whispered.

Then Nerya raised her hair away from her face and revealed two elegant, porcelain-white, pointy ears. Albus let out a humourless, nervous chuckle when they came into sight; wonder added itself in the mixture of his expression.

«C-Can I…?» he asked, extending a hand towards her and when Nerya nodded a positive, he approached her and his fingers brushed the upper side of her ears. «Τhat's the only difference then?» Nerya wondered how he was able to see with his eyes so thoroughly narrowed.

«The only visible difference, yes, and the only thing in my appearance that I have concealed.»

She watched him nervously as he started pacing back and forth in front of her. How the wheel turns.

«So, you're like us, only you don't… die?» he guessed, trying to hide his scepticism.

But Nerya saw it and it made her knees weak.

«Well, we can be killed, but time doesn't touch us. We can live for millennia without aging a day. And we're not exactly like you. I mean, our bodies can be described as humanoid in appearance, but we're more ethereal than you are and there isn't as great a variety in our bodies' appearance. I mean, our faces and hair colours vary, but nothing more than that.» She continued talking as steadily as she could, brainstorming again, without knowing or caring if she was repeating herself.

«Our bodies are always tall and slender, we have a fair complexion, beautiful faces –well, beauty is relative, but from the human perspective we are possibly breath-taking, if not in a cold, ethereal way, like… like starlight – which is one of our favourite things.»

Albus was uneasy, pensive in the verge of bursting, but his lips twitched nervously at that.

»We prefer our hair long, no matter our sex. We are very capable in arts and crafts and whatever we make combines elegance and efficiency. In times of war, we can be a force to be reckoned with, and nobody can make finer weapons, more beautiful and deadly. But our true talent lies with the arts of the mind; in politics and strategy we are supreme, but our language, Quenya, is made for poetry. But there is more than what can just be seen. Normally, we have a calmness and brightness in our demeanour. An average Elf is usually cleverer and wiser than an average human, but I suppose, that could also be explained by our long lives. We also have what you call magic, though for us it's just part of our nature, like our second skin, not something weird or mystical, like the muggles believe; and also we don't use it for little, everyday things like you do.»

Albus' lips pursed, as he faced her. «And I suppose that's why you are so good at wandless magic.» He guessed, but his eyes were still narrowed.

Nerya nodded, but her heart sunk. Albus, after a loud sigh, had resumed his pacing. His nervousness and scepticism were evident. It was also evident that he was trying very hard to wrap his head around it. Or maybe to find a way to test her? Catch her unawares? In any case, he didn't believe it yet. How could she make him see that she was telling the truth?

«How come no one knows about you?» He asked without stopping his back and forth.

«Times have passed since we walked the Middle Earth. That's what my mother's generation says, anyway. I wasn't born back then. Possibly that is the source of the misunderstanding about our appearance. But now we reside very far away from your earth. In a place of pure thought, you might say, somewhere above and beside your plain of existence. We can visit if it is necessary, but the journey is not easy and the necessity almost never arises. Most of my people don't really like it here anyway. But I wanted to see new things, to travel, so I sort of forced them to allow me to come.» She was intertwining her fingers nervously, but she forced her voice to be as steady as possible. That last bit wasn't the entire truth, but Nerya really didn't have the focus and mental strength to deal with that now; maybe in due course. If Albus spoke to her after today, that is.

Albus snorted, almost in genuine amusement. «Yeah, that does sound like you.»

Nerya would have smiled in response if she hadn't seen his face immediately creasing again. So, there was a thoughtful pause from both of them.

«So you live in another…planet…now?» Albus faced her and tried with a grimace to put some things in order.

Nerya's heart sunk a bit deeper, but her mind had found some bravery and energy and she refused to let them go. «Would it make it easier for you if we did?» she asked searchingly.

«Well, it would be an explanation easier for me to understand, to…believe, but… I am not looking for the easy here. I am looking for the truth.» Albus dropped himself in a stray chair, about four paces away from where she was standing, crossed his legs and passed a hand down his face.

After a while, he looked up at Nerya and smiled tiredly but sweetly. «I don't want you to feel like I don't take what you are telling me seriously…»

«We wouldn't be here if you didn't.» Nerya interrupted him gently. Albus contemplated her, his frown broken for a moment, as another emotion was peeping through his face. Fondness? Nerya wondered, but before she knew it, Albus was deeply frowning again.

«But all these things you said;» he exclaimed in a broken voice, incredulity verging on exasperation. «An immortal race called the Elves, who reside in a faraway place, unapproachable to mere mortals… ethereal beings, beautiful and wise, who know everything, but choose to stay on their… Nethersphere. All this sounds awfully like… God!» he grimaced at that last word and his hands, that moved around in an explanatory manner during his little speech, fell to his lap tiredly.

Nerya grimaced, unconvinced. «Well… I suppose if you put it like that, we do sound like Gods…» she conceded sceptically. «But on the other hand, isn't it possible that our presence here in older times shaped the archetype on which your gods, or-or angels were based? Or your sense of beauty, for that matter. We were here first, after all. That's what our history says, anyway.» she shrugged, then cleared her throat. «N-Now, about the know-everything part, rest assured we share many similarities to humans when it comes to… attitude or mistakes of judgement. I, for example. I look, think and act humanly enough, do I not?»

«So that wasn't an act, you weren't faking your behaviour as to not raise suspicion, or something?»

'There it is: Do I know you?' Nerya thought, and she was surprised to find that her heart could sink even deeper.

Albus' face hadn't conveyed blame or aggressiveness of any kind. It was evident that he was asking in order to understand. Yet Nerya couldn't help but feel her gut twist. She couldn't allow Albus to believe that he was the centre of a joke or a farce, especially when something like that was as far away from her truth as anything could be.

«Everything you have seen me do or say, is the same I would do or say among my own people.» She declared looking him unblinkingly, firmly in the eyes. «None of it was pretend. I am as I appear before you.»

She refused to continue by, 'dear Earendil above,youhave actually seen more of the real me than most people I've known all my life have!' No matter how true it was for her, that would work as emotional manipulation, and she respected him too much to resolve to that.

Albus searched her eyes for several moments; and then he shut his eyes and nodded slowly with his head, conveying that he believed her. Nerya didn't dare breathe however, because she noticed that he still seemed sceptical about everything else. He had slumped back on the chair, his face ashen and taut, fatigue dripping off him, but lost in thought still.

'You cannot convince him, if he doesn't want to believe you.'

The world seemed numb and detached, hazy around the edges. Something of a low buzzing sound had started tormenting her ears.

'Shut up, shut up, shut up, he'll believe me, he knows me, shut up, shut up, shutiti up-up-up.'

Suddenly Albus stilled. His eyes shot to find hers. there was a eureka glee about him, Nerya's breath hitched.

'What?' she wanted to cry. 'What are you thinking about? is it good, bad? you forgot to return books to the library, and you have to leave immediately to take care of it, so you're going to step out of the room and avoid me for weeks?'

Albus' eyes searched around the room, without focusing anywhere in particular. Nerya could see his chest heaving as he took big breaths but there was no panic, no anxiety. only this breakthrough. He turned to her again, blinked; his face relaxed somewhat. He left the chair, approached her; laid a hand on her arm.

The familiar blue eyes were looking at her kindly, with a hint of nervousness still, but also decidedly. He spoke slowly, gently.

«Firstly, I want to thank you for your trust, for I can see that it wasn't at all easy for you.» Her eyes widened as a small glimmer of hope was sparked inside her chest. Albus was searching her eyes, his face tense. «So I want to give you the gift of trust too. Believe me when I say, I…truly…wanttobelievethat all these magnificent wonders you are telling me about are true.»

Nerya's lips parted; but she stayed silent, her heart sensing the 'but' that was about to follow.

Albus took his time looking away pensive, before he continued, his voice more broken. «I'm afraid though that my… mind, my… sense of reality (he winced) is putting up a fight against my wishes.» Albus searched her eyes again. «Iwantto hold your words above doubt, but before I can promise you that, I… I'm afraid I must firstly… doubt them.» Albus' gaze through creased eyes and brows, was so intense, that made Nerya forget to blink. But then he added, with a modest smile, a bit defensively, «not…seriously, though.» His eyes twinkled, ever so faintly, but for the first time in a century, or so it seemed to Nerya.

The world shattered in a million pieces. A single word, a word that wouldn't mean anything to anyone; but to them, it made all the difference in the world.

Her shoulders relaxed and she breathed, «How did I dare doubt you… Oh, you wonderful mind…!» her smile was strained and the trembling in her voice betrayed the nervous tears left unshed.

They both chuckled under their breath, their eyes locked; and there were so many and so unspeakable a thing in their stare, that they were momentarily overwhelmed. They were so close now, Albus' cheeks were painted red, Nerya realised, as her arm was burning where he was touching it, his lips were trembling lightly still, a remnant of his nerves now dissolving, and she could just lean in and –

Feeling breathless, she asked with as much playfulness as she could muster. «Am I right to suppose that your… cunning brain has come up with a plan?»

His face faltered, his hand slided off her arm. «Oh, shit. No, not really.» he seemed surprised. «Wow. Not having a plan about how to doubt something, that's not very like me, is it?» he mumbled to himself.

«It has been a pretty atypical morning for both of us, I dare say.» she huffed, her voice broken.

Albus chuckled lightly under his breath, and before Nerya could ask what was his eureka look for, another one followed.

»And… there.» Nerya whispered instead with a slight smile. «Back to normal. Got an idea?»

»Well, there's always- How do you feel towards Legillimency?» he asked, his face contorted defensively.

Nerya's face beamed and her lips parted as she understood what he was proposing. «Yes, yes, yes! why, why, why didn't I think of that!» She mumbled irritably, slapping her brow repeatedly, as she walked past him and made herself comfortable in the chair. «Ready, when you are» she exclaimed with a wide grin.

Albus didn't approach her immediately. «Do your people learn about Occlumency, or mental barriers of some sort?»

«Yes, Elves are highly telepathic. It is part of our basic schooling to shield our minds, otherwise our thoughts have no privacy.»

Nerya's nervousness returned as if it never left her, and with greater ferocity too. She was watching Albus unblinkingly, while he was lost in his thoughts. Her breath was shallow. 'Damn you, you little orc. Behave, calm down.' When she spoke, she was aiming to joke her way out of the nerve-racking situation, but her voice didn't come out as steady and not at all as playful as she intended it to be.

»Are you afraid I'm going to trick you?»

Albus turned abruptly towards her and reached her in no time, in panic and shaking his head negatively. «No, no, no, it's not that at all, no!» He crouched in front of her chair and took her hands in his. Looking at her eyes in desperation, he added, «I was thinking about you, I don't want to make you uncomfortable! I was thinking about how we can make sure that you can shield anything you don't want me to see!»

Nerya's relief came with a deep breath, a relaxation of her body and tears in her eyes. «Oh, you'll be the death of me…!» She said, smiling fondly and unable to stop her tears.

«You're the one to talk!» Albus chuckled breathlessly, and gently wiped her cheek.

Nerya laughed a small laugh at that, sniffling. «Oh, how can you believe me?» She conjured a handkerchief and tried to tidy her face, but the tears wouldn't stop falling.

Albus exhaled shakily, he seemed to be drowning in her question. After a moment's desperate fluttering around, his eyes found their way back to hers. He looked so much like a child, so vulnerable and open.

«It seems that the only way I am willing to be provided with when it comes to you isin, notout.»

Nerya's lips trembled as she smothered her sobs in elation that warmed and broke her heart simultaneously.

«Oh, Albus… I would never…» betray you? *vomit, let you down? *cringe*… Instead, she darted out of her chair and hugged him tightly, causing him to let out awhoop, lose balance and land on the floor on his backside. Nerya landed beside him, her hands hadn't dared release him, as she cried and cried, shaking and gasping for air.

«You have remarkable strength for a person of your stature, you know.» Albus mumbled as he choked, but he had returned the hug all the same.

Nerya tensed and released him. «Oh, so-sorry.» she managed between sobs.

«Oh, fuck you, I didn't mean it like that,» he reproached her, smiling sheepishly, and hesitantly embraced her with one hand. Nerya chuckled and sniffed and snuggled her head on the crook of his neck.

«I guess it's bruising time.» she whispered, more to herself, but Albus heard both her words and the smile in her voice.

«Finally.» he whispered back suggestively, relieved that Nerya had regained enough of herself to throw in a hickey joke. He rested his head on hers, his other hand found one of her own and started massaging it.

Nerya was finally, completely letting all her nerves out and her crying was tinted with excitement and relief. Albus stayed there, trying not to feel too dizzy by her smell or her emotional discharge. Silence reined the empty classroom for a while, broken only by Nerya's sobs.

«I think I was already prepared to believe that you were something very different than what I've known so far.» Albus almost whispered absent-mindedly. «Right from the first time we met; there was so much light coming off you,» his tone breathless by passion and awe, «like nothing I had ever seen before…»

That only made Nerya cry even harder with joy.

After neither-Merlin-nor-Earendil-know-how-long, a few minutes or a couple of hours, Nerya managed, «If it was likethisfor me, then I cannot begin to imagine how it must have been for you.»

«Well… Firstly, I had it coming;» he said harshly, «I was so obsessed with finding answers, so that serves me right.» he chuckled bitterly, Nerya pressed her head down on his shoulder. «Secondly, you gave me time to process things. I left you hanging for five entire floors and then some more. It was bound to take its toll…» He answered fondly, rubbing her back. «Thank you. Thank you for… telling me.»

Nerya took a deep breath as she backed off just enough to look him in the eyes, a bit surprised. «Oh, Albus…» She cupped his face and kissed his cheek softly. «Thank you for not calling me a nutter.» She said emphatically, not far away from his face, the warm feeling in her belly stirring into something much more intense. In an effort to clear her mind, she stood and extended her hand to help him up.

«Albus?»

Albus' mind had gone blank –again- and electricity was spreading from his cheek, covering every inch of his body, pulsing through his torso. He could hear Nerya calling his name. Mechanically, he looked up and saw her hand and the images that came to his mind made heat rise on his face. But he swiftly got himself under control, took hold of her hand and stood up too.

«Would you mind if we took a break?» he sighed more than said. «I am not sure I have the concentration for practically anything other than complete silence.» He sighed a tired chuckle and managed to maintain eye contact, his hand, still in her grasp, burning.

Nerya was smiling faintly, biting her lip. «I can imagine... I think I might go for some fresh air...» she let go of his hand with some hesitation and took a couple of steps backwards to the door.

«And I'll head to the dormitory for a while.» Then Albus took a look at his watch and said, «it's ten minutes to eleven. What about we meet at half past twelve in the common room and maybe go for some lunch?»

Nerya almost stumbled in her surprise and relief. «A perfect plan.» She beamed.

They grinned at each other and made for their respective locations.