Would you rather loving the wrong person or not knowing love at all.
Would you rather letting the person you love go or letting her suffer with you.
Would you hold her hand, would you kiss her, would you give her what she wanted, even when you know it is only going to hurt her...
Lincoln sat quietly in his seat, still recovering from the statement of their guest, of the black haired girl sitting beside him taking lead in their situation. He was hoping he could use the conversation to his favor, to use his words like the master of convincing he claimed to be and hopefully, as futile as it may be, make their current predicament less horrible than it need to be for all of their sake.
But it is easier to wish for something to happen than actually doing it. And he wasn't one to wish and wait for a miracle to solve everything for him, something he know he can't and don't deserve to have. Much less to receive it from the people who had done so much already for him when they clearly don't need to. He wasn't ungrateful, he just don't see the need for it, to do something like that for someone like him.
After all, wouldn't it be much easier to just blame everything on one person than to start pointing fingers and letting it fester into something worse. In a world where innocence could easily be considered as nothing less than ignorance, he can't afford to hide this from them. Not without purposely showing them how little he cares about himself. Not without having them think it was their fault that he ended up like this. And not without putting his parents in a position he would never want them to be in. It has always been him, the man with the plan, the jack of all trades, the center of all problem.
There might be some truth lying somewhere amongst them, but the weight of that knowledge was only for him to carry alone. It was something he would prefer to keep for himself. Lest he would only be reminded of what kind of person he truly is.
The person he has always been even before all of this mess started, and he know that even in the end, that person would still be there with him. The sweet and soothing voice that has always been there by his side, a companion which he had also long since accepted into his life.
It was rather... pointless...
And to have the girl speak on his behalf, to see the conviction in her cerulean eyes drowning his doubt and worry away, of what she was willing to do for him. It was strange, he don't know how he should feel about it, not when he himself can't say he truly understand what he was feeling.
It was different, it wasn't the lack of emotions like the unique skill, terror afflicted him with during the activation. And it weren't hollow or obsolete either since he had already lost those skills as sacrifice in exchange for his new skills from the Raven and Crow. If anything it felt more like he was being consumed from the inside. An emptiness that kept taking more and more out of him even when he has nothing more to give. It was almost sickening, to have someone look at him this way. To know how far they are willing to go just to waste all of their effort on someone like him.
It felt like he was being laughed at...
That he who can't even can't take care of himself was trying so hard to take care of others.
People who don't need him, people who would be better off without him, people he know he have no right to be a burden to.
How pathetic...
...
"And what is that suppose to mean?" Lynn Jr leaned her back into the seat and crossed her arms over her chest, her brown eyes staring intently at Haiku, not at all affected by her intimidation.
"Junior, please..." Rita sighed, glancing at her unnervingly quiet son before returning her soft gaze to their guest. "Let her explain herself." She added, giving all the attention back to the black haired goth girl nodding politely at her in appreciation.
"Thank you Mrs Loud, as I was saying earlier I was the one who called him last night." Haiku calmly said, choosing her words properly to show how serious she was being at the moment. "It might have been a misjudgment on my part, but that was the only thing I can think of that can actually help me at that time." She added.
Taking a deep breath, Haiku let out a sigh and slightly lowered her head, her half lidded gaze landed on her balled fists resting limply on her lap. "I was..." She hesitated, biting her lips in frustration at her own shaking resolve before finally lifting her head back up to look at rest of the people at the table waiting for her. Even with the sound of her heavy heartbeat picking up in her fragile chest, she refused herself the comfort of letting him carry all this burden alone by himself. It wasn't fair, not when she was clearly the one to blame for this entire mess. A fact both she and Lincoln already know even without them admitting it, or at least it was for her. She don't know if she can say the same about him, of whatever it might be he need to face against in his own head he would rather keep to himself.
"I... I was almost kidnapped last night..." Haiku honestly said, shocking most of them with the sudden revelation. As for those who already know of her situation, they can only afford to look at the unfortunate girl in pity. "There is no other way of saying it, I know, I know I should have called the cops instead, I just..." She struggled to speak, suddenly being overwhelmed by the dizziness knocking into the temple of her skull and the nausea building in her throat when she opened her mouth.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pulled him into this mess, that I was only putting him in danger just by being there for me, and I know there is nothing I can do to ever redeem myself if something bad ever happen to him because of me." Her fists tightened.
"But if Lincoln wasn't there to save me, I wouldn't be sitting here with all of you right now." She uncomfortably fidgeted in her seat at the memory. At the ugly reminder of what those despicable men said they would do to her body that she can't help the shiver crawling up her spine. That she didn't realized she was also hugging herself just to make sure that she is actually here. That she will not wake up in a place she don't recognize with those men defiling her body with their rotten eyes leering over her fear.
And she took comfort in knowing no one else will ever fall victim to their depravity anymore. At least, that was all she could wish for...
"If it wasn't for Lincoln, I would probably be dead already by now..." She couldn't help the cruel and humorless smirk appearing on her pale face. "And there is nothing, nothing I can do will ever be enough to repay him for what he did." She choked out with a melancholic smile, just now noticing the stray tears escaping from the corner of her exposed eye.
"I... I'm sorry..." She quickly wiped it away with the back of her hand, only to bit her lips in dismay when she noticed more of them started coming out. She don't deserve their pity. She don't have the right to be crying Infront of them like this, not when she was the one putting their only son and brother in danger for her own sake. For a stranger like her to take him away from them, his blood and family. "I really am..." She sniffled just like the little girl she truly was.
The scared little girl he had known far too well for his own good...
Noticing her best friend only sinking deeper into her own turmoil, Lucy almost stand up from her seat and get to her side, only to remain still when her brother who has been quiet the entire explanation gently placed his hand on Haiku's head before softly patting the top of her raven black hair. Which Haiku responded by hugging his side and burying her face into his shoulder. And for a glimpse of a second Lucy's eyes widened beneath her dark bangs as she saw what Lincoln sees in the girl she called her best friend. Of this blurry memory and gnawing fear she held far away from him only getting more apparent. The fear she somehow now shared with the girl for the white haired boy who will not hesitate to put other before himself. And it broke her, it destroyed whatever she had left in her of the brother she thought she know, of how far he was actually willing to go when he really find the need to. That he would even challenge the impossible with this same vow he kept to himself, a doubled edged sword he gladly stabbed into his chest for them, not only Haiku, but also his sisters.
This is her brother... The brother he has always been. The brother that as much as she don't want to believe it was also slowly getting further away from her reach.
Why didn't she notice this sooner, why didn't she see how her brother was religiously taking himself apart pieces by pieces for them.
Why? Just why did it need to hurt this much?
Is this what Lynn was talking about before, this agonizing feeling of not being able to hate him even when she wanted to so much?
It wasn't fair, he can't do this to her, not like this.
Not with how similar it was, not when she was only reminded of how her brother used to comfort her before just from looking at them.
...
"When I got her call, I didn't really know what I should do." Lincoln spoke, lifting his gaze from Haiku seeking for comfort within his warmth to look at his family staring deeply at him with nothing but genuine concern in their eyes for their only son and brother. The clumsy yet kind white haired boy he has always been for them. It was enough, it was more than enough, it was more than he could ever wished for. It was enough to be him, to be Lincoln Loud, the comic loving dork and annoying brother they have always known him as. He... He don't need to be more for them.
He have nothing to prove...
He have nothing...
Nothing...
[Nothing]
{And you will never be anything more}
{For you are a 'Martyr'}
{A passing stranger held closely by your past and ripped violently into the future that despise you}
"I shouldn't have suddenly ran out of the house like that, I should have called the cops, I should have told all of you what was happening... I should have at least try to." Lincoln let out a humorless chuckle. "I don't need to make it to be so complicated like this, but I guess I'm still me, I still made a huge mess out of myself like usual." He weakly sighed.
"If I need to be truly honest, than I probably should stop hiding behind my lie anymore." He calmly said, further making the situation more intense with what he was implying. But nothing would ever be enough to prepare them for what he is about to talk about. And yet there is also nothing they can do about it.
"I've been sneaking out of the house at night to meet with Haiku at the playground near her place." He confessed, shocking most of them since they didn't notice what he was doing behind their back, even Lucy was caught off guard by the revelation. Not once did this ever come up during her conversation with Haiku.
She knew of the one time where her brother fainted there, but how long exactly has this been going on between them. How many times had it been since he started going out there without her knowing about it.
And why would Haiku hide something like this from her?
But what if she wasn't, what if she was only doing this for Lincoln, that he wanted to be the one to come clear with this.
"W-why?" And it surprised her even more when her small and meek voice slipped out from her lips much to her confusion. "Just why?" She continued, her rapid heartbeat betraying her small body barely holding herself back from completely breaking down. It felt like she was tricked, not by her best friend, but by the brother she thought she know.
But she also know he was only doing this for all of their sake, that he was only sparing them the trouble of worrying about him. And she only hated him more for that.
"It was only for some nights, probably for an hour or so until she decided to get back to her house. She didn't talk much, but I didn't really have anything to say either, we just stayed there and looked at the stars." Lincoln smiled fondly at the memory. "It was nice, it wasn't something that I can explain, but I also can't stop myself from being there."
"I don't know if I'm doing it for Haiku or myself, I just want to be there, to look at the stars... With her." He sincerely admitted, letting the silence linger for a moment before getting back to the matter at hand.
"That's why when she suddenly called me out of nowhere for the first time, when I heard her voice, I knew she was in trouble," The goth girl hugged him tighter. "That was why I can't afford to waste whatever little time I had left, why I needed to get to her as fast as I can." He continued.
"And only when I got there I understood the situation she was in, that I was running out of time to do anything. When I saw her hiding in the dark from the two men who were looking for her, I figured it would be better if I got to Haiku first to check up on her." He explained.
"She told me that they had been stalking her for awhile now from their conversation while she was hiding from them. That they also know where she lived." He pointed out.
"So I told her to stay there while I distracted the kidnappers. It wasn't really the smartest thing to do but it worked. They did chase after me when I showed myself, and it didn't take long either before they eventually gave up when I finally got out of their sights." Lincoln lowered his gaze. "That was also when I heard the shot..."
"Wait, hold on a second, they had a gun!?" Luna quickly stood up from her seat and slammed her hands onto the table, scaring Lily who slightly jumped in her seat, oblivious to the serious conversation her siblings are having. "You're telling me this entire time they could have just shot you up there!?" She screamed, her frantic eyes looking at him in disbelief.
"Luna!" Leni raised her voice, her tired eyes only reflecting the pain she was holding back. She also wanted to let it all out, this mess suffocating her from the inside, to scream her frustration and anger away, but in the end all she could do was listen to him. "Please, just sit down." Which the girl relented to her wish as the current oldest sister in the house with her following in second. Respect was a rarity in the house, and even among them, it was never really something that they take seriously. At least not unless if it was coming from Leni.
"I... I didn't know they had it." Lincoln defeatedly said, finding himself unable to look straight at Leni without seeing the tears dwelling in her watery eyes looking back at him. "Even I was surprised when I heard the shot, but I also knew they were only trying to intimidate me to come out from my hiding spot so they can get me."
"Since I already saw their faces, they probably thought everything would be over for them if they didn't catch me first before the cops got there."
"And with them carelessly shooting their gun around, it was more than enough to alert the neighborhood up." Lincoln remarked. "I don't exactly understand what happened next, but they got into a fight, one was telling them to run away while the other kept insisting on searching for me."
"They both started fighting over the gun, and then..." He paused, looking at Lucy, Lola, Lana, Lisa, and Lily before sighing in resignation. "You can probably already guess what happened after that."
"When it was all over, I got back to Haiku still hiding behind the tree like I told her to just as the cops arrived." He finished.
"But why?" Luan tiredly asked. "Why did it need to be you Lincoln?"
It was a selfish question, one he also know far too well he can't avoid.
"Because she don't need to tell me the truth," Lincoln calmly said. "I know she was lying." He added as Haiku stiffened under his gaze.
"That no matter how many times she kept telling me to leave her alone, that I'm only wasting my time with her, or the fact that her parents already allowed her to be there..." He paused, his gaze slightly softening. "None of them were true."
"If she wanted to be alone, she would have just left when I got there. Instead she stayed even when she know I won't leave first until she did. And I never see it as a waste of time either to be there with her." Lincoln pointed out before slowly letting out a sigh of defeat. "I had my suspicion but I don't think her parents even know she was sneaking out at night to be at that playground." He accurately deducted.
"Like I said, she don't talk much." Lincoln caressed Haiku's cheek with his right hand and gently lifted her chin until she was looking up to face him. "But she sure shows what she was thinking about a lot even when she think she wasn't." He couldn't help but smile slightly at the tinge of pink painting her pale face before she turned her head away from him in shame.
How long, just how long exactly has it been since he figured her out. Was it from the first night they met at the playground. And what exactly gave it away, was it something she said, or perhaps a slip in the way she was acting that she didn't notice getting through to him from her facade.
"That no matter how hard she was trying to lie to me." Lincoln teasingly said with a small smirk. "I will always know what to expect from a liar." He added as Haiku returned to her seat, avoiding from looking directly at the white haired boy.
"I can apologize for what I did, but it won't change anything." Lincoln turned his head to look back at his family still trying to take in what he was saying. It wasn't much but it was as honest as he can be with them without mentioning the system. He would rather not deal with the possibility of passing out again and a penalty to include with after the night he had went through.
"I still hurt you, I still make you worry about me, I still choose to deal with everything myself." He remarked.
"But I would still do the same for her..." Lincoln honestly said from the bottom of his heart.
All he can do now is wait, and wait, and wait even longer...
It was only getting more intense with the silence weighing heavily in the air. The leftover of their breakfast were long forgotten on the table by now, getting colder with time since most of them had already lost their appetite. Each dealing with their own conflicting emotions they need to face against. It was still early in the morning, and yet they were all already beyond tired with the overwhelming information being revealed to them. But who can blame them though. This... This isn't something they can just get over with that easily. And it is only normal to react in such way. For someone like him to do something as dangerous as this, to put his life on the line for a girl without any concern for himself. Honestly, just how exactly do you recover from this... This nonsense.
"Haiku, honey, if you don't mind me asking..." Rita broke the silence, hesitating for a bit with uncertainty in her motherly voice. But she need to, she need to know. "Why... Why was calling him the first thing that came to your mind?" She asked, mostly to answer her own dwelling curiosity.
"I understand that he, that Lincoln knew where you would be, but he is also a kid just like you, why do you think he can even do anything to help you in the first place?" She added, as if she was looking down on her own son. But it was necessary, her answer will decide what she would do next as the matriarch of the family, as his mother and guardian.
Haiku lifted her head, her cheeks only growing redder at the truth she was holding dear and close to her heart. "Because I know he will come."
"That Lincoln would answer to my call..."
And that was more than enough to answer her. It was obvious, it has always been, and this incident was only making it more apparent with the way he was acting as of lately. She don't want to admit it but he has always been growing much faster than the rest of his sisters, if not in physical than it was in mind. And for that to be possible, he definitely need to make a lot of sacrifices to be the person he is today. Sacrifices that he also hide from them, whether within his silence smile or boisterous laughter to put their eyes away from him. Or perhaps it was even as simple as them not noticing it at all in the first place.
Sighing, the mother of eleven stood up from her seat, walked towards Haiku and hugged her from behind before planting a kiss on the top of her black hair. "You have gone through a lot, haven't you." She whispered. "It's alright, everything would be fine now."
It felt weird, even when she was talking to Haiku, it almost felt like she was saying it to him. That she was trying to comfort him by accepting the girl.
"You too Lincoln, I'm not going to punish you for this, you were only doing what you think was right." Rita smiled. "And I know I can trust you to make the right decision for yourself." She turned her head to look at her husband intently listening to her decision.
Rubbing his balding spot with a sigh, Lynn Sr directed his gaze to his only son. "If your mother said so, then I also have nothing more to add. I can't really punish you for only trying to save the girl." He smiled. "And from what she was saying, she definitely trust you a lot. I guess it was kind of our fault for not seeing this coming from our own son." He let out a low chuckle, one filled with sorrow and guilt.
"It is all in your hand now Lincoln, we will put our trust in you, and we hope you will prove to us that you can be more than a son and a brother as you already did." Rita gently ran her right hand through his white hair, threading her delicate fingers through them. Her soft eyes glistening with the tears threatening to break out at any moment.
They... They are letting him go...
"Is this... Is this really it?" Luna roughly stood up from her seat, dragging the chair along with her while getting all of their attentions at once. "I can't believe it, are all of you really fine with this?" She asked in bewilderment only to bit her lips when her sisters lowered their heads.
His eyes met hers, and for a second he swear she was crying.
"Fine, have at it..." She hurriedly walked away from the table, her stride heavy with each painful steps ripping her away from her brother. But is he even the same brother she used to know anymore?
"Luna, wait!" Lincoln tried to chase after her only to halt his step when she scowled at him from over shoulder with genuine anger in her wet brown eyes glaring sharply at him.
"Not now dude..." She dangerously warned, not at all trying to hide her disdain for her younger brother. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts so much...
And the same could also be said for him as Lincoln clutched his chest tightly in his right hand, feeling the sharp pain striking his beating heart.
A double edged sword...
To hurt another is to hurt oneself...
And to hurt oneself is also to hurt other...
Neither a weapon nor a shield...
Merely a tool to the beholder...
A martyr who sacrifice himself to protect other...
A martyr who hurt other by sacrificing himself...
A curse bind by his tainted blood and kinship...
The true instrument of pain feeding on his suffering...
How amusing~
...
With breakfast finally over, the residents of the household eventually separated to their own matters. Mom and dad decided to take the day off since Haiku is still here with them as their guest. Leni left earlier for her work with Luna, Luan, and Lynn taking a ride with her to their own destinations, preferably to get as far away from him as possible for the moment until everything started to cool down a bit. Which already said a lot with how much they are trying to avoid him. And he can't say he blame them either for that. This whole mess is only showing what that has always been there, of this rift growing between them they are trying so hard to ignore. But no matter what, it is still there, and it is only getting larger. And he of all people know how futile it would be for him to do anything at the moment with them refusing to even listen to what he has to say, not that he has any in the first place.
He was at a dead end...
From here on out, his decision will only led to nothing but bad choices with them blocking his path. And until he figure out a way to reconcile with his sisters, he don't think he can make any progress to move forward.
He might be an idiot most of the time but he at least know that much already...
Lana also left the house after they were gone with vanzilla, though he don't exactly know where she could be at the moment. As for the rest of his sisters, they were all in their rooms, Lucy immediately locked herself away to be alone with her thought, Lola was sitting quietly infront of her vanity mirror while still struggling to understand everything that was happening, Lisa as usual busy with her own experiment she was conducting to distract herself from the rising tension dawning upon the house.
"Inkcoln! Inkcoln! Inkcoln!" And Lily, she is currently with him on the couch in the living room, sitting on his lap while watching and pointing at whatever cartoon currently running at the moment. Which is an anime of a magical pony girl transforming on the screen as Lily cheerfully clapped her hands at the bright explosion of colors almost blinding his eyes. Apparently it was a spinoff of the popular series princess pony, which kind of surprised him a bit.
The fandom must have grown a lot for the studio to be able to run another show while still working on the current one. Or it was probably a partnership between the original studio and a studio in Japan. Either way he don't exactly know much about it to make any assumption.
"Sorry..." A small voice almost whispered beside him, barely getting his attention with the loud theme song blaring from the tv with the magical pony girl using her ultimate ability, almost obliterating an entire city in a dome of explosion. The sound effects sure sounds good though. Which studio was it again?
"Huh?" He looked at the black haired goth girl sitting beside him on the couch slightly fidgeting while also avoiding his gaze with her head lowered to stare blankly at the floor.
"I... I'm sorry." Haiku apologized. "For dragging you into this mess."
"Your sisters wouldn't treat you like this if it wasn't because of me." The girl almost choked out, ridden by her guilt and fear slowly eating her up from the inside.
Though she slightly jumped when Lincoln suddenly snatched her chin and lifted her face up to look at him with her eyes wide open. "Come on Haiku, we both know that out of all that could happen, this is probably the least worse outcome. It might not be perfect, but you are here, and you are safe."
"And I would prefer it better this way than leaving it up to chance." He seriously said, his light blue eyes swallowing her whole under his gaze as his lips grew inches away from hers.
"But still..." She tried to argue only to be silenced when he pressed his lips against hers, feeling his tongue making his way into her mouth and taking her breath away. Her cheeks grew redder and her heart skipped a beat in her chest with the warmth blossoming in her stomach.
A string of their mixed saliva sticking between their tongues, splitting in the middle when he finally pulled away from her panting and flushed face. "I don't want to hear it, say more and I won't hesitate to take you here and now." He warned before licking her taste from his lips.
And Haiku instantly went quiet, whatever it was that is going on in her head, she probably shouldn't say it to him right now. Lest she would only be tempting him to go further with his warning. And as much as she don't mind him taking her for himself, she would prefer it being in the privacy of his room.
"Oh right, I almost forgot." Lincoln pulled out his phone from his pocket, unlocked the screen, and held it up for the girl. "You might want to call your parents." He offered as a small frown plastered on her lips at the mention.
Letting out a weak sigh, Haiku accepted his offer and dialed for the numbers, her slender fingers slowly tapping on the screen, only to stop midway before placing the phone down on her lap. Uncertainty clearly written in her pale face, further bringing him to the conclusion he already had in mind that he would rather not think about. And from what he had gathered so far about the girl, it was starting to look like he was right, much to his dismay.
"It is just me and my mom." Haiku gave the phone back to him as Lincoln remained quiet beside her, giving the girl all the time that she need. This isn't something that he would want to pressure out of her. She will tell him if she want to, and he will wait for her until she is truly ready to talk about it with him. And nothing can change that.
"My mom, she is a prosecutor." Haiku noted, slumping her back into the couch while drawing her knees closer to her chest before hugging them. "And you're right about her not knowing I was sneaking out of the house at night, not that she would notice, she wasn't always around anyway." She murmured.
"If there's something that I learned, it was that she would never pick up her phone for anything other than her work." She sighed, and he know she wasn't lying, there is no reason for her to lie about this. Not when it was clearly hurting her just to bring it up. "Even last night, She didn't show up for me remember?"
"Her own daughter was almost kidnapped and she didn't even think for once that it would be alright to leave her work behind." She muttered in a low voice, a mix of both anger and frustration leaking through her words.
"But even then, that wasn't exactly what that bother me the most, it's the fact that it didn't, that it didn't bother me at all that she wasn't there." Haiku slightly turned to look at him with a cute tilt of her head resting in her crossed arms hugging her knees closer against herself. "That unlike you Lincoln I already know she will not come, that even if she did, it will not make any difference at all..." She surmised.
"That is just the kind of person she is." Haiku added with a melancholic smile.
"Well, you sure are putting me on a tough spot here." Lincoln lightly joked with a smirk to lighten the mood. "But still, I'm glad that you would share something like this with me, I don't think it would be easy for you." Only to end up blushing slightly when she leaned against him.
"I trust you with my life Lincoln, this is nothing compared to that." She smiled with her eyes closed, content with just staying there by his side while basking in his comforting warmth and scent. It was nice, and she wished for nothing more than to just stay there like that, to hear his calm heartbeat so close to her ear further soothing all her doubt and worry away.
But even she know it can't last forever, nothing can...
A few knocks hit the front door as Haiku lifted her head when Lincoln shifted slightly beside her, placed a disgruntled Lily down from his lap, and stretched his back a little before getting up to his feet. He crossed the living room, held the knob, and spun it around until he could see who was standing on the other side. And her body instantly eased down when he smiled at her before finally stepping out and closing the door behind him.
...
"Jeez dude, you alright Linc, you looks like you just got hit by a bus or something?" Standing at the porch in his usual baggy attire with the addition of a shopping bag in his left hand, Rusty winced at the mere sight of his state as Lincoln simply rolled his eyes with a tired sigh escaping from his mouth. He would usually do that out of annoyance, but this time he can't say that he disagree with his tall friend.
"Honestly at this point, I would probably take that." He replied with a weak shrug before running his right hand through his already messy white hair. "At least it would be over by then." He added, only worrying his friend even more.
"Woah, you are really having it rough dude, seriously." Rusty remarked, genuine concern evident in his voice at his demeanor. "I don't think I have ever seen you like this before. Even when your sisters dragged you around it never get this bad you know." He pointed out before leaning his back against a pillar of the porch.
"Well, you know how it is Rusty..." Lincoln dismissively responded, leaning his own weight seemingly only getting heavier against the wall just to keep himself standing while facing his tall and lanky, ginger haired friend raising a brow at him in return.
"No, no I don't Lincoln..." Rusty frustratedly groaned. "Sure, I don't know what you usually go through, but I don't need to be Clyde either to know that there is something clearly wrong with you."
"And knowing you, you probably think it would be better if you keep it to yourself, that you don't want to make scene out of it, that it wasn't as big of a deal as it really was, but guess what Sherlock, you already dressed like a traffic cone, you might as well throw that whole nonsense out of the window." Rusty lectured him, which did get a small chuckle out of the white haired boy already laughing much to his surprise.
"Do I... Do I really sound like that?" Lincoln asked, wiping the tears from his eyes while still struggling to stop himself from laughing.
"Believe it or not, that's how the rest of us see you Linc, you might be good at solving problem, but you sure as heck didn't think everything through most of the time." Rusty pointed out, smirking slightly at the memory of them getting into trouble with Lincoln doing his best to get them out. "Sure it was fun, but that doesn't mean that we didn't also worry about you dude. And Clyde can only do so much to keep you in check when we're not together." He noted.
"It's funny you know, hearing this from you." Lincoln teased.
"And why is that?" Rusty asked. "Please, amuse me with your reasoning." He retorted.
"Honestly, I didn't think you would care about me this much, I'm not saying it was bad or anything like that, I guess I'm just surprised, to have you being the one lecturing me instead for once." Lincoln said with a small smile. "I almost can't believe it, our little Rusty man is all grown up already." He smirked.
"Ha, ha, very funny Lincoln." Rusty looked at the shopping bag in his hand, remembering why he was even there in the first place. "Right, if you're in a good enough mood to mess with me, you might want to have this." He handed it out to the white haired boy as Lincoln raised a brow before taking it and looked at the content of the shopping bag.
And it didn't take long either for him to realize what it was. "Dang it! Thanks Rusty really, you're my savior, I can't believe I almost forgot about this." He exclaimed.
"Well, you're the one who called me and asked to have it in the first place." Rusty smugly said while embarrassedly rubbing the back of his neck. "But please, you can keep praising me if you want to though."
"Seriously Rusty, thanks a lot, you've no idea how important this is, I don't know what I would've done without you..." Lincoln added on with genuine appreciation.
"Woah there buddy, you might want to take it down a bit there Linc, don't get me wrong I'm flattered, really." Rusty awkwardly said while waving his hands Infront of him. "But just so you know I still like girls, like a lot." He seriously said only getting another round of chuckle from the white haired boy shaking his head in amusement.
"You really know how to ruin the mood don't you." Lincoln turned for the door. "Just wait here alright, I'll go get my wallet." He reached for the knob and twisted it.
"Ouch!" Only to look back at Rusty when he suddenly keeled over behind him while clutching his chest in mock pain. "I... I can't believe it."
"How could you Lincoln, I thought we're friends, I thought we're better than this!?" Rusty emotionally let out, getting back at the white haired boy for what he did to him earlier. "I'm offended, do you really think I would take money from my own friend!?" He faked a gasp and a pitiful sob, getting an eye roll from him.
"If only you also put this much effort into trying to date a girl." Lincoln sighed in defeat. "Fine, you win alright, just stop it already with the theatrics." He admitted with a facepalm, already drawing his hand away from the knob as the tall ginger haired boy finally got back up with a satisfied smirk plastered on his acne ridden face.
"So, how was my performance? Rate it out of 10." Rusty jokingly asked, far beyond happy to get a win over the white haired boy for once.
"Mediocre, not enough tears." Lincoln harshly commented. "Anyway, you sure about this Rusty, I don't mind paying for it you know, what would your dad say when he find out about this?"
"Come on Linc, you're not exactly a stranger to my dad by now, and if it wasn't obvious enough, let me make myself clear for you." Rusty smirked, a smirk he know far too well would only lead up to something stupid. "I'm your friend remember, it's alright for me to do something nice once in a while, after all I don't mind doing some charity now and then." And there it was.
"Well, you can't exactly call this charity you know, I did try to pay for it, you are the one who refused to take my money." Lincoln casually responded, only irritating his friend with the explanation, further ruining the joke.
"You know what I'm trying to say Lincoln." Rusty rolled his eyes in frustration.
"Yeah, I know, I guess we're even then." Lincoln replied, catching him off guard with the sudden realization.
"Dang it! I can't believe I fall for that." Rusty slowly shook his head in defeat. "You win this round my good sir. It seem like there's still a lot that I need to learn in the noble way of chivalry." Rusty may have lost the fight he started, but he sure seemed like he was enjoying it a lot with how much he was smiling right now.
And he also can't say that he didn't enjoy it, this friendly banter with Rusty. He really missed it, he missed them, he missed how much simpler everything used to be. Seriously, how long exactly has it been since the last time he went out with them, just hanging out and having fun without having to worry about the system taking control over him when he least expected it to. How long...
...Just how long has it been since he left his childhood behind.
"All in all, it's good to see you Lincoln, what with you not coming to school yesterday." Rusty sincerely said, there is no joke left to tell, in the end it has always a friend trying to cheer up a friend, and it doesn't really matter which one is which. "Stella already texted us that you're fine when she checked on you with Shay after school was over, and with two pretty girls worrying about you, you better be to be honest." He slipped in.
"At least, I'm glad that Stella is coming back to school like usual, and from what I can see so far, she also wasn't afraid to approach you or Shay anymore, though it's probably thanks to you, whatever it is that you did." Rusty shrugged his shoulders.
"Yeah, about that, there is something that I need to tell you, all of you." Lincoln sighed. "Listen, I know this is sudden but why don't we hang out at Gus tomorrow morning, just you, me, Clyde, Zach, and Liam." He suggested.
"I guess we are going to talk about the girls since you're leaving them out." Rusty raised a brow.
"Yeah, somewhat..." Lincoln rubbed the back of his neck, unsure how he should put it in a way that wouldn't make it even more confusing for his friend. "Honestly, with how long it has been, I just want to hang out with you guys for once." Though in the end, he settled with the truth. It was kind of embarrassing to say it outright but that was the only thing he can think of.
"Jeez dude, you don't need to make this more embarrassing for me." Rusty half-heartedly complained while looking away into the distance. "I... We missed you too alright." He finally admitted as Lincoln could only smile in return.
"I guess I would see you and the rest of gang tomorrow then." He chuckled.
"Sure, I'll text the guys to let them know." Rusty waved him off, already stepping down the porch and heading for the opposite direction across the street. "And you better be there you hear me!"
He did hear him, and he will be there for the important conversation he need to have with them. That, he can say for certain.
As for now, he just need to get ready for what he has planned for the day.
And there is still a lot that he need to do.
...
Getting back into the house, Lincoln returned to the living room and dropped onto the couch with the shopping bag resting beside him. As much as there is to do, he also wouldn't deny himself the rest he could get at the moment.
"So, what's in the bag?" Haiku asked with Lily still watching the colorful show playing on the tv seemingly only getting more violent much to his surprise.
"It's just something that I asked Rusty to get for me, I kind of need it for the event that I'm invited to tonight." He replied.
"Wait, you're going out?" Haiku raised a brow in confusion. "But what about your feet, don't you think you should be resting for now." She inquired with a sliver of concern in her voice.
"Well, my injuries wasn't exactly that bad that I can't walk, it might be a little bit uncomfortable to move around at first, but I still want to be there." Lincoln said before slowly lowering his head in deep thought. "Plus, I already promised Lisa to bring her along with me."
It has always been easy, for other people to see what is going on in his head for most of the time. But it wasn't like he was trying to hide it either. His priority has always been the same, and to change that would be the same as to kill him, to stab his heart with the same knife he trusted you with. Though, the difference would simply be that he will live, maybe not for them but he will for his sisters. And he would be fine with that. To kill himself again and again for them, to cut all the red strings holding him back from what that is truly in his heart.
She of all people should have known that better about him than anyone. And she of all people also should understand how impossible it was what he was tearing himself for to achieve. And yet she would still stay by his side, to wipe away the blood from his wound, and to use her flesh to warm him up.
She will be anything that he need...
"If you said so, I hope you will have fun with her tonight." Which probably did the opposite since Lincoln suddenly turned his head to look at her with genuine curiosity in his eyes.
She wanted to explain herself, to not let the misunderstanding stay between them, only to keep her mouth shut when Lincoln planted a tender kiss on her forehead before smiling softly at her. "You are no less important than them to me Haiku." He whispered, and to her it was the highest compliment she could ever get from him who would do anything for his sisters.
"So, what are you going to do about Lucy, you are her best friend right? I don't think she would be alright after what happened earlier." Lincoln casually asked, his eyes returned to the tv where the magical pony girl was crying on her knees at the realization of what she just did, of the destruction she left behind from her fight against the invader almost destroying the entire world.
And Lily was still focusing on the screen with nothing but pure admiration in her innocent eyes. She was so into the show that he don't know if he can even change the channel anymore without having her crying her eyes out soon after, but he also don't think she should be watching this show either out of fear of her having nightmare later. And to be honest, it kind of scared him a bit if she don't get one.
"I... I'm not sure yet, I don't think she would even talk to me anymore." Haiku admitted. "I haven't been completely honest to her, to you, I don't know if I even have it in me to face her right now." She let out.
"Huh, I guess she is the one you should be apologizing to." Lincoln commented, his right hand slowly reaching for the remote on the table only for Lily to quickly crawl down and grab it first before glaring at him. "And with how everything is at the moment, it would probably be better for her to not be alone." He slipped in.
"You want me to be there with her don't you?" Haiku guessed as Lincoln simply smiled in return, already giving up in his attempt to keep Lily's innocent intact with the towering cross the color of scarlet rising up from the blood ocean consuming the magical pony girl into the deep depth.
"Well, it's either you or me, and I don't think I'm anywhere close to being the right person to meet her right now." He explained. "Honestly, I'm kind of afraid to see her. I'm her older brother, the one who was supposed to protect her, and yet I'm also the one that was hurting her the most." Lincoln let out.
"And at this point, I don't trust myself enough not to make everything worse than it already is. That's why I need you to be there for her Haiku." He sighed. "I trust you to take good care of her for me, that she would listen to what you have to say, after all you are still her best friend." Lincoln pointed out.
"Not for long though..." She added, already getting up to her feet. "Again, thanks Lincoln, for everything." She wiped the strand of her black hair behind her ear, and a genuine smile soon appeared on her pale face.
"Seriously Haiku, how do you expect me to kiss you from here." He teased, getting a low chuckle from the blushing girl as she eventually left for the second floor.
Once he looked back at the tv, the show was already over with Lily slightly tilting her head while staring curiously at his face. She might be young but even she would have noticed just how tired he was at the moment.
"Inkcoln?" Lily mumbled, grabbing the hem of his orange polo shirt before tugging on it for his attention.
"Don't worry Lily, everything will be alright." He gently patted her head as his baby sister giggled in amusement before grabbing his right hand and started biting his fingers, which he could only laugh at. "It's going to be tough, but I will fix it, just like I always do." He smiled.
"L-Lincoln?" At the sudden small voice calling out his name, he turned around on the couch to see Lola standing at the bottom of the stairs. And her nervous gaze instantly dropped to the floor when their eyes met much to his dismay. It wasn't fear, if anything she was more or less confused of how she should approach him, how she should see the brother she used to order around so much before to her liking.
"Oh, hey Lola, what's wrong?" He asked, trying his best to ignore the way she was hesitating to get closer to him with each of her small steps. Once she got close enough, she bit her lips before finally lifting her head up to look straight at him. Which did catch him by surprise for a bit.
"Can I... Can I ask for something?" Lola buried the tip of her heel into the floor, still struggling to have a proper conversation with him without constantly looking away. Even being under his gaze right now was proving to be too much for her as Lola started squirming uncomfortably in the middle of the living room. And her small figure tensed even further when Lincoln got up from the couch and walked towards her direction.
With her heart beating faster in her small chest, Lola swallowed the lump in her throat and tightly shut her eyes close as Lincoln placed his right hand on her head. Time stood still for a moment, his hand just resting there on top of her blonde hair much to her confusion, barely doing anything as to get such a reaction out of her.
She dared to open one of her eye, peeking at her older brother standing infront of her without saying anything. And it takes everything in her just to break the silence between them. "L-Lincoln?"
She don't know what she expected to happen next but it definitely wasn't him slightly nudging her head down before messing up her perfectly brushed hair. Realizing what he was doing, she tried to reach for his hand over her head with both of hers only for him to put even more pressure to hold her down. "L-Lincoln... S-stop it." She whimpered, failing miserably with her weak attempt as he simply stared at her struggle.
Having enough, her eyes grew sharper as Lola glared at her older brother smiling back at her once he saw the familiar face he was looking for. "I said..." Instead of trying to reach for his hand any longer, she stepped closer, grabbed his collar, and forced him to bend down to face her before unleashing her wrath. "CUT IT OUT LINCOLN!" She screamed. Which is what he was waiting for.
And before she could say anything more, he placed his hands under her bottom and swiftly picked her up from the floor, surprising the blonde girl with how easy it was for him carry her weight as Lola immediately placed her pink gloved hands on his shoulders to balance herself. And her eyes widened even more when he kissed the tip of her nose. Her cheeks only growing redder and redder as he kept peppering her flustered face with light kisses, ignoring her quiet plea for him to stop. Not that she actually wanted him to stop, she just wanted the embarrassment to be over, to calm down her rapid heartbeat racing in her chest, to extinguish this fluttering warmth spreading throughout her body. To feel herself sinking even deeper into this spiral of doubt and fear taking ahold of her. And to accept it as her own, to accept that no matter what the circumstances might be, he will always be her brother.
That as much as he was hurting her, he will also be the one to comfort her. In the end he will always be her Lincoln.
"I almost thought I lost you for a second there Lola, I'm glad you're still the same." Lincoln softly said. "Seeing you like that almost make me think I suddenly got a cute sister instead of you for a change." He teased with a smirk, only irritating her even more with how easy it was for him to mess with her.
"Well..." She pouted. "Suck to be you then, but this is all you get." She slammed her fist into his firm chest, barely getting a wince out of him. "Maybe if you're not such an annoying brother all the time I wouldn't have a reason to be so mad at you."
"Yeah, I guess you're still stuck with me for now." Lincoln gently placed her down to her feet. "Not that I mind though, after all you will always be my cute little princess." He fixed the tiara on her head, unaware of the dark blush blossoming across her flushed face.
"Anyway, what is it that you want to ask from me?" At the reminder, she slightly lowered her head in contemplation.
"It's Lana, I want you to go look for her." Lola seriously said, her hesitation being replaced by the unusual yet genuine concern slipping through her voice. "Before she left the house earlier, she said that she wanted to be alone, that she don't want anyone to bother her. And after what happened earlier, I can't really blame her, even I was having a hard time trying to wrap my head around it. I don't know why but..." She gritted her teeth.
"Just listen to me and get to her alright!" She groaned in frustration, mostly at herself, at her own refusal to be honest with herself. "It doesn't feel right, all of this. I don't know how to explain it, I don't even know what I'm feeling right now, I just know it wasn't good. I thought I know everything Lincoln, but I was wrong, and I don't know how much of it that I was wrong about." She painfully let out from her small chest constricting her breath.
"She looked up to you the most Lincoln, she always has..." Lola clenched her small fists tightly by her sides. "She has always wanted be as strong as you, that she don't want other people to worry about her, that one day you will also be able to rely on her just like she has been relying on you." Lola struggled to continue.
"And even knowing that, I still kept calling her an idiot for trying so hard." Her voice slightly wavered beneath her quivering lips . "I... I didn't really mean it, she know that I didn't mean it right?" She looked up at him with wet tears welling in her light blue eyes.
His heart sank...
This... This is worse than he thought.
Everything is breaking from the seam and there is nothing he can do about it.
"Hey, it's alright Lola, calm down." Lincoln reassured her as gentle as he could. "Why don't you just get back to your room and rest for now, I will go out and look for her, do you at least know where Lana could be?" He asked as the the girl went quiet for a bit in concentration.
"The junkyard, you probably want to start from there first." Lola quietly replied. "She used to look for car stuff and useless scrap there before they chased her out, I'm pretty sure she has other way to get in there without them noticing her." She mentioned.
"Right, the junkyard, not sure if I should be surprised." Lincoln sighed. "Now, why don't you put that pretty head of yours to rest while your strong and handsome big brother deal with this." Lincoln smugly said, if anything just to humor her with his dumb joke. And even if it didn't work, he at least hope that it was enough to distract her for whatever little comfort it might worth.
"You better be..." Lola whispered under her breath, pushing herself on the tip of her toes and planted a chaste kiss against his right cheek. "Keep doing that and I swear I'm going to take you away from your girlfriends." She muttered out before hurriedly walking up the stairs, leaving him behind with his thought.
[1 Lola's point]
With another task being added into his schedule, Lincoln rubbed the back of his neck, easing his increasingly sore muscles before getting back to the couch for the shopping bag. Though his eyes landed on the tv for a moment to see the news running on the screen. And his blank gaze hardened even more at the images of two familiar figures being shown by the news cast. Sighing, he glanced down on the couch to see Lily already taking her afternoon nap much to his surprise. He carefully pried the remote from her small hands and turned the tv off. It was done, he don't want to further shove his already full head with unnecessary and pointless stuff he would rather not think about. Not when the day is still far from over.
Picking up the shopping bag, he carried it along with him to the second floor and into his room, placing it on his bed since his study desk was beyond messy with the electronic compartments lying around the surface. What remained of chess bot, mostly the cover, was placed at the corner of his room. He can leave the bag for now since he don't actually need it until the evening. His phone is at full battery and his wallet still has enough cash he can use before his next visit to the bank. Which now that he think about it, he might as well go the nearest ATM machine while he was at it. There is no reason why he shouldn't keep more cash on himself just in case of emergency. With everything covered, Lincoln took a deep breath and exhaled slowly from his mouth, preparing himself for the day ahead of him.
"Well, here goes nothing..."
{God of Misfortune is embracing you dearly in her arms}
...
In a garage somewhere, a brunette teen girl was violently slamming two drumsticks against a drum set, causing a cacophony of chaotic yet rhythmic sound to fill the entire room. It was anger, it was frustration, it was fear, and the harder she banged the drum down, the heavier the sound felt like as if the entire world was weighing down on her and her alone. Though it was only like that because she chose it to be so. Even now she was only avoiding the problem she should be facing.
That instead of being a mature adult, here she was, basking in her own sweat soaking her purple shirt with a white skull in the middle, cowering in her own inability to understand what she was feeling. And for that, she was letting all of them out, to finally get rid off her pent up emotions in the only way she know best.
Clenching her jaw shut, Luna raised the drumsticks high up into the air and slammed it into the drums, almost snapping them in halves if she wasn't being careful enough. And in her current state, she doubted she could stay still without destroying something. To actually have control over something instead of just standing on the sideline as if she worth nothing. All the while everyone and everything she know was slowly leaving her behind.
But still, even after all of that, she still can't say that she understand why her throbbing heart was hurting and screaming at her so much.
That without this anger, this frustration, this fear, she was only left alone with herself.
With this stupid little girl who barely know who she was anymore.
...
A/N: Sup, sorry for the late notice.
Minor update to the fic,
Some mistakes in the earlier chapters were fixed.
Mr Felix Bolhoffner has been changed into Mr Felix Bolhofner.
Hannah Spring has been changed to be at the same age and class as Lynn junior.
Alex Anderson has been changed into Alex Wright.
Some spelling and grammar mistakes were checked.
Thanks for the reviews, if you notice any discrepancy or mistakes on my part, please feel free to point it out.
All girls, and I mean 'ALL GIRLS' will be included, not because he wanted to but by the system forcing it on him
That's the beauty of it, he don't have a choice. He never do.