"So!" Charlie clapped her hands together with excitement. "What first!?" She was finally fucking included in the disaster spreading through Hell. She wasn't about to waste this opportunity. She looked expectantly from her father to her uncle, and back again.
"Well, that's a great question!" Michael snapped and a tablet appeared in his hand. "I actually have a list-"
"No." Her dad didn't even let Michael finish his suggestion. "Put the fucking list away, you controlling asshole."
"... right." Michael sighed and the tablet vanished. "I guess we will just follow your instructions then."
"What? You don't think I can do it? You followed my lead for centuries without any complaints back when I was in charge." Her father narrowed his eyes at Michael who simply held up both his hands submissively.
"I didn't say anything. I just feel like you have been a little... hands-off from what I can tell, and I was simply offering suggestions. Of course, these are just my feelings, and are not a reflection of our reality-"
"Don't angel-speak me with all that fucking bullshit." Lucifer snapped back. Charlie took a deep breath; she was starting to see why things were progressing... slowly. Heaven had done horrible things to her father in the past, she couldn't blame him for his obvious anger. But they had more important matters at hand. Charlie cleared her throat.
"We can start by maybe asking Raphael to visit my Hotel? You know, since he's already kinda here?" He was apparently, right downstairs with Vox.
"Oh, I'm certain he wouldn't mind." Michael nodded. "Please, feel free to ask. It would mean more coming from you."
"Thank you," Charlie felt relief wash over her. "I don't mean to take up your time, but ever since the Shoggoth attack, they have been having some ... rough nights."
"Nightmares are a common side effect of dealing with anything Eldritch. That doesn't necessarily mean they're Corrupted but it is definitely worth investigating. Hopefully it's just a side effect from seeing them, and it will wear off in a few weeks' time." Michael sounded confident, and that was reassuring. Charlie felt a small amount of relief.
"And then, once I get back from the Hotel, we can decide where to go next." Charlie knew it was difficult for her father to work alongside the angel who had screwed him over the most. Maybe, she could act like some kind of buffer between the two.
"I think that sounds fair." Michael nodded. Lucifer let out a long, arduous sigh, pinching the bridge of skin between his eyes.
"It sounds like a plan. It's probably a good idea to double check the Sinners that were in the Shoggoth fight, anyway. I doubt Raphael had the time to do a thorough job before he...suddenly had to leave."
"Ah, yes." Michael's expression was hard to read, but Charlie saw both of the halos narrow all of their eyes at her father.
"Right! Well, I'll go ask him." Charlie opened the door, after assuring that Michael slipped back into his Virgil disguise, and headed down the stairs. Vox was sitting on the couch, as also music played from Syn who was balancing on the top of his head. Lysander still had the gun pointed at him; though he had migrated from the couch to the floor. In front of Vox was a looming figure in black, a plague doctor's mask covering the face, the body concealed by a heavy, shabby, black cloak. That must have been Raphael's Sinner disguise. "Is Vox going to be okay?" Charlie made her way over, careful not to step on Lysander sprawled out on the floor.
"He should be." The Plague doctor nodded. "Please remember to take your medications, Mister Vox, and you should continue to improve."
"This stuff better be vodka." Vox held up a jug that Charlie recognized to be filled with Holy Water. Oof, poor Vox.
"No, but it will burn going down." Raphael replied gently. "That is why we have you break up the dosage into more... digestible amounts."
"Doctor," Charlie gave her biggest smile, "I have a favor to ask of you, if you don't mind." She put her hands behind her back.
"Of course." Raphael nodded.
"I run a Hotel for Sinners, and I was just hoping you could give everyone a checkup since, you know, you're already here?"
"I would be absolutely delighted." Yep. That was definitely Raphael. It seemed as if it wasn't just Michael who was shit at pretending to be from Hell. Charlie may need to offer lessons on how to better blend in.
"I am a member of her Hotel, so this whole fucking appointment is on her. She's paying." Vox spoke up quickly.
"Ah. Yes. Of course." Raphael didn't seem to know what to make of Vox's request. Charlie had the strong suspicion that Heaven didn't really charge for services. "Mister Vox, you need to be resting. I want you only doing light activity for the rest of the day. And, this is very important, keep the use of your powers to an absolute minimum until you finish that medicine."
"Right," Vox nodded and Syn struggled to keep her balance on his head. "So, you want me to get fucking killed. Got it."
"I did not say that." Raphael didn't even sound annoyed he still had the same, gentle tone. "This is for your recovery."
"I see the vision: It's easy not to be sick anymore if I'm dead." Vox sighed, putting the side of his screen-like face in his hand.
"Vox, I think you should listen to the doctor, he is the expert." Charlie knew how it looked from Vox's perspective. Asking a Sinner to go without powers was a death sentence. (Especially for an Overlord like Vox.) But she trusted that Raphael knew what he was doing- he had given her similar instructions, after all (though she hadn't been listening as much as she should. It was just the Halloween party! She had to decorate. But now she would be good.) "You are under my protection now, anyway! So long as you are a part of the Hotel, you have nothing to fear." Except maybe Alastor... and Niffty... and any weird product Mimzy was pushing... but Charlie didn't want to argue semantics.
"Food time mother fuckers!" Adam swept into the room with a massive tray of fruit and pastries. Charlie was a bit startled to see him so suddenly- she would never get used to the fact that he was living in her childhood home. The Princess was even more surprised when Adam offered the tray toward her.
"For me?" Charlie blinked.
"For everyone." Adam replied flatly. "I saw you were here so I figured I would make extra." Charlie hesitantly took a rather delicious smelling chocolate chip muffin off of the tray and took a bite. It was fucking amazing. (It was so weird that Adam, of all the goddan Sinners in Hell, was a good cook.)
"It's so yummy! Thank you, Adam, this is really nice of you." Charlie finally managed to speak after she swallowed her bite.
"No! It wasn't nice! It was-" Adam protested, looking a little queasy. Raphael took the tray in one hand and gave Adam a trash can with the other. Adam grabbed the can and started heaving into it. Charlie had seen this from Vaggie when she drank the holy water. All those times she had seen Adam get sick... it made sense now. He was Corrupted. It didn't excuse his actions, but at the same time, Charlie would be lying if she said seeing Adam doubled over and miserable wasn't bringing her just a bit of pleasure. "God fucking damnit."
"Despite the fact that the chef just hurled his guts, I'm hungry and that shit he cooked smells good." Vox took a croissant from the tray.
"Can you even smell? You don't have a fucking nose." Adam squinted at the flat faced Overlord for a moment before adding: "Then again, neither does Lucifer, and he smells like shit!" Adam laughed at his own joke, slapping his knee with the hand not gripping the trash can for dear life. Aside from a snort from Vox, no one really laughed at Adam's pathetic attempt at a joke. Syn even played a little wa-wa-waaaaaa sound to fill the silence. Adam scoffed. "Tough crowd. That was peak comedy."
"That is false information! Master smells perfect!"
"You don't have a nose either, Syn. But that doesn't matter because it was a joke." Adam rolled his eyes. (Or, well, eye, as one eye was just an empty white color with no pupil to be seen. Charlie remembered her dad telling her Adam was blind in that eye.) "Lysander, dude, you thought it was funny, right?"
"I'm asleep, mate. I wasn' listenin'." Lysander was still face-down on the cold, hard mansion floor. Charlie wasn't sure how he was comfortable, but Lysander was an ice demon (rare as they were in Pride) so she assumed he liked it on the floor because it was cooler.
"I told a funny joke." Adam informed him.
"Ha." Lysander gave a thumbs up from the hand not holding the gun. Adam looked over at Syn.
"See? You are supposed to laugh."
"Oooooh. I see! It is funny because it is untrue!" Syn played the sound of a laugh track and Adam nodded approvingly.
"I mean, as far as you know."
"Shall we head to your Hotel, Princess?" Raphael interrupted Adam's lesson on the art of jokes to offer his niece a way out of this conversation. He handed the ray back to Adam, taking the trashcan from him and waving his hand over the top. The vomit within went up in emerald flames and dissipated completely.
"Yes! Vox, let's get you back to the Hotel where you can get some much-needed rest! Doctor's orders!" Charlie could always re-educate Syn on comedy at a later date. (It would take more than a few minutes to undo whatever damage Adam's teachings had caused. Vox squinted at Charlie; his mouth half full of muffin.
"Ah, yes. Allow me to sleep in your cheap, hotel bedding. I'll be far more comfortable there than in my lavish, very expensive bed at home, surrounded by Sinners at my beck and call. Thank fucking god I have that option."
"Do you really want to go back? You'll be slammed with work." Charlie gave a friendly smile. "And also, we made a deal."
"Fine." Vox snatched a few more pastries off of Adam's plate. "Let's just get back so I can go the fuck to sleep."
"Lead the way, Princess." Raphael bowed his head. He took a single fruit cup from Adam's tray as he held open the door. Charlie would ask for a moment alone with him at some point to be sure he was Raphael, but the little things assured her that he was at least an angel. Charlie grabbed a few more treats in her arms.
"For the Hotel." She explained as Adam raised an eyebrow at her.
"So, I'm cooking for everyone now. Cool. Cool." He didn't sound upset, rather just bemused by the situation.
"Thank you." It felt weird for Charlie to thank Adam for anything, but she was trying to set a good example for the Sinners. What good would her lectures about Redemption be if she didn't practice what she preached. (Not that Charlie could be Redeemed, since she never Fell in the first place, but that was beside the point.) "Let dad and Virgil know that I'll be back to help with our next steps soon!" Charlie was a bit worried they might do something important while she was away at the Hotel, but she HAD just witnessed her father and her uncle trying to work together. She felt oddly confident that nothing would get done in her absence. Maybe, just maybe, this whole, horrible Corruption incident could be a stepping stone for a better relationship between Heaven and Hell! The Exterminations were stopped, that was a huge first step.
"Yes Charlie!"
"Thank you, Syn." At least Charlie could rely on one person in the mansion. She exited through the door that Raphael was holding for her and Vox begrudgingly followed, arms full of sweets from Adam's tray. They started back toward the Hotel. Charlie leaned in close, to Raphael, keeping her voice as quiet as possible. (If he was really an Archangel it shouldn't matter. He should be able to hear far better than any Sinner. At least, she assumed that was the case because she and her father had heightened senses.) "You are Raphael... right?" It seemed logical to assume he was, but with so many fucking shape-shifters dicking around, as of late, she had to double check. He smiled at her, for a moment, the eyes of the plague mask warped into a large, solid-green eye that she recognized as Raphael's. The eye winked and then warped back.
Perfect.
It took them a bit to finally make it back to the Hotel. Vox was clearly dragging, though it might have been from legitimate lethargy rather than any purposeful stalling. By the time they made it back, pretty much everyone was awake. Vaggie was down stairs, drinking coffee at the table with Cherri. Angel was in a robe, coffee cup in hand, lounging on the couch in front of the TV, Husk was drinking something out of a flask behind the bar, Mimzy had her hair in curlers, a fluffy robe on, and was standing next to the coffee maker. The moment Charlie walked in, however, Mimzy did a quick turn and somehow instantly popped back, facing forward with a full face of makeup and flawless hair, not a curler in sight. The others all looked surprised as the Princess entered with the looming plague doctor.
"Princess!" Mimzy gave her a warm greeting, the fluffy robe gone and replaced with Mimzy's usual dress. "We thought you were still asleep! Who's your new friend!?"
"This is my father's personal doctor." Charlie explained, gesturing to Raphael. "He is going to look everyone over. Dad just wants to make sure you weren't affected by the Shoggoth. The Morningstar estate will cover any medical expenses from this as a way of apology."
"Seems like overkill since we've all been fine, but if you're payin' who am I to tell ya how to spend your money." Angel shrugged, seemingly agreeable.
"Tell me, hun, how does one become the King's personal doctor? Sounds important." Mimzy fanned herself with a pink fan sporting the DamnWay logo. (Charlie wasn't sure where she had gotten it, or where her coffee cup had gone.)
"It was a lot of training, a very tedious application process as well." Raphael's Fallen voice was rough, echoing, far from the relaxing tone of his real voice. "I am Dr. Apollo; I will see you each one at a time for a quick checkup. This will not take long."
"And I brought treats!" Charlie had her tail materialize so she could open a cabinet, grabbing a plate and setting the food she had taken from Adam down. "You know, for after your visit!" Vaggie was giving Charlie a look, the Princess assumed her girlfriend could guess who Apollo really was.
"Fuck yeah! Brekkie!" Cherri hopped to her feet. "I need somethin' to wash out the taste of last night's booze!" Like Angel, she didn't seem opposed to the idea of a checkup.
"Then if you don't mind, Princess, could you take us to a room?" Raphael requested, hoisting his medical bag over his shoulder- even that had gotten a makeover to blend in better with his disguise. It went from a soft, pleasant green cloth bag to a worn, damaged, leather bag with strange, sharp instruments poking out of the top.
"Oh, of course!" Charlie hurried to guide them to a room on the first floor that wasn't in use. She still had plenty of space.
"I'm not fuckin' you, just so we're clear. I'm doin' this for the food." Cherri squinted up at Raphael's Fallen form, giving him a once over. "Okay, maybe I'll fuck you, if ya ask politely."
"That will be quite unnecessary." Raphael didn't seem all that bothered by the offer. Charlie had to assume it was weird for the Archangels to be hit on (especially in such a blatant way), but Michael had seemed oblivious to Mimzy throwing herself at him, and Raphael sounded completely unaffected by Cherri's offer. Maybe they did get hit on in Heaven? They were high ranking, after all.
"Here," Charlie opened the door to a simple, unused bedroom, and Raphael set his stuff down on the bed, immediately getting started by going through his bag.
"Thank you." He nodded to Charlie.
"No problem, let me know if you need anything." She closed the door behind her, walking back into the lobby.
"Well, this has been... something, but I'm going to bed." Vox started up the stairs, all the pastries he grabbed from Adam still in his arms.
"Hey, don't you gotta get checked out?" Angel looked a little annoyed. Vox didn't even bother to stop walking as he continued up the stairs.
"I did my fucking time. I got seen at Lucifer's mansion because I'm actually important." And with that he reached his room, slamming the door shut.
"We can kick him out, whenever you're ready, Charlie, you just say the fucking word." Angel glanced back at the Princess.
"No, that won't be necessary." Charlie really didn't want to let Vox too far out of her sight, given what she now knew. She needed to try and find a way to keep him contracted to her, just to keep an eye on him if he wasn't cured before his month was up.
"Hey, let's see if we have any juice for these treats you brought. Shall we?" Vaggie got to her feet, pulling Charlie into the other room, away from the others. "How was seeing your dad?" She opened the fridge, grabbing a few jugs of various juices that Alastor had picked up when he was out getting groceries. (Where was Alastor? Or Niffty for that matter. They were going to miss the visit. Oh well, they could see Raphael later.) "So, who's the creepy doctor guy you brought home?"
"That's Raphael. He came to treat Vox who is Corrupted, so that's fun. I asked him to stop and look at the Hotel too."
"Don't love that there's an Archangel here," Vaggie glanced behind her toward the door. Charlie could tell she looked uneasy. "But at least it's Raph, I guess. I'm honestly surprised your dad was cool with him being here. But he was acting fucking off all last night. Speaking of which... Did you ever figure out what got into him."
"Yeah," Charlie sighed, pouring herself a glass of apple juice to wash down the treats she had eaten. "Long story short: that wasn't dad." Vaggie's eye narrowed.
"What do you mean that wasn't your dad?"
"That wasn't my dad last night. That was Uncle Michael pretending to be my dad so he could talk to Vox."
"Michael... the Archangel Michael- leader of Heaven's legions- was in our hotel, cosplaying as your father?"
"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up, actually. But don't worry, my dad knows. He is the one who told Michael to do it, but- I'm a little unclear on what exactly happened- I think I distracted Uncle Michael with my party invitation and he kind of went AWOL and decided to go."
"Awesome. There are two fucking Archangels just... dicking around. Love that. Why the fuck is Michael even in Hell!?"
"My dad invited him!" Charlie was proud of her father for doing so, she really wouldn't have expected it from him. Now if only she could get the two Morningstars to not constantly bicker... baby steps. It was already an accomplishment that her dad was letting Michael stay.
"I really don't love that he's here." Vaggie's wings came out and she wrapped them around herself. "I like having my wings attached. I already had them cut off once and its sucked."
"I don't think he wants to cut your wings off. He didn't seem antagonistic when we saw him in Port Gatory! Remember?"
"I remember when he trapped us below deck on the abandoned Hell Liner AND when he almost had me killed by the shop owners."
"I think the deck was an accident, and that whole thing with the shop owners... pretty sure you triggered an automatic defense system."
"I have flown through Purgatory before, many times, with my weapon drawn, in a flock of other, malicious Exorcists with their weapons drawn."
"Right, but did you fly over the city?"
"... no." Vaggie had to admit Charlie had a point. At least, a small one. "I didn't even know there was a city. I thought we were just avoiding Jazeerael because he was like Adam's ex or some shit like that."
"The angel guy in Port Gatory dated Adam?" Charlie made a face. She didn't really see it. The Angel who ran the Heaven Ferry seemed too strait-laced to tolerate Adam's bullshit.
"I don't think so anymore - pretty sure Jazeerael could do better- but back then it was the only excuse I could come up with to explain why we never saw him on our trips down. I mean, wouldn't it be polite or whatever to visit our only guy in Purgatory while we're there?"
"So," the kitchen door swung open and Angel Dust was standing in the doorway looking impatient. "Was the juice a fucking lie? Or...?"
"Oh, sorry, got distracted." Charlie stepped to the side to show Angel that they had, in fact, got the juice out, they just hadn't brought it to the next room.
"You can make out later, I'm fucking thirsty." Angel grabbed a glass and poured some orange juice, taking a swig. "Damn, you think Husk has something he can put into this? That medicine your dad's doctor gave me is the fuckin' worst. My mouth tastes like utter shit. If I'm gonna be pukin' I wanna be properly wasted first."
"You're already done?" Charlie checked the clock on the wall behind her. Damn, Raphael had gotten through Cherri and Angel? It hadn't been that long.
"Yeah, but the guy might be a quack- though maybe that's why your dad likes him so much?" Angel snorted at his own joke. "But the fucker just sat me down, waved some crazy looking device in my direction, told me I was sick, and gave me what I can only describe as sulfuric acid to drink." Oh. Angel was Corrupted. Thank fuck she had decided to ask Raphael to stop by. Charlie felt relief wash over her like an ocean wave.
"No, there really is an illness caused by the Shoggoths. Just make sure you take that medicine; I know it's awful but-"
"Eh, I've had worse." Angel took his glass of juice and headed back toward the kitchen door. "But I am gonna have Husk spice this shit up."
"I am surprised you can tolerate drinking anything alcoholic after that medicine." Vaggie made a pained face at the memory.
"If there's enough alcohol in it, it won't fuckin' matter." Angel replied before vanishing out of the door again leaving Charlie and Vaggie alone once more.
"Angel has it too?" Vaggie raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that a little weird?" Charlie turned to look back toward her girlfriend.
"What do you mean? Angel was in the fight too."
"No... you're right... it's just like... a part of me wonders if this is all some bullshit Heaven made up, and they're just giving us Holy Water to weaken us so we can't stand up to them again." Vaggie sighed. "I know it sounds crazy, but-"
"No. The Exterminations being some unauthorized conspiracy theory sounds crazy. I think you're right to be suspicious." Charlie put her drink down and took Vaggie's hands. "If I hadn't heard confirmation from my dad that this Corruption bullshit is real, I would think the same thing. But, for right now at least, I don't think Heaven is our enemy."
"If you're confident about this... then I will try to trust them... for right now." Vaggie met her gaze, a hint of a smile on her lips.
"I believe the Archangels. Call it intuition, optimism, or stupidity, but I think we're doing the right thing by letting them come here. And, maybe, if we impress them, they can redeem all of our patrons, up to Heaven to go be with Pentious! Won't that be fun?"
"That is definitely too optimistic."
"I can dream."
"You have beautiful dreams, that's what I love about you." Vaggie leaned up, pressing a kiss to Charlie's lips. Charlie returned the kiss, but her mind was racing. Her father had been a dreamer once too, just like her, before Heaven smothered it out of him. Maybe she was putting too much faith in Heaven... but she remembered the monster on the Hell Liner, the Shoggoth, the destroyed engine room, the way her eyes burned and ears rang when she saw those creatures. No... the Corruption had to be real. It was about the only thing her father and Uncle seemed to agree upon.
"Princess," the door opened and Raphael entered with a tablet in his hands similar to the one Michael had summoned earlier. "Sorry to interrupt, may we speak?"
"Of course, you remember my girlfriend, Vaggie, do you mind if she- oh, you have your little device out." Charlie trailed off as she saw Raphael scanning Vaggie the way he had done in Port Gatory. Vaggie still looked at the device as if it were a weapon.
"You're improving well, Vaggie, but more treatment will still be necessary." Raphael handed her another bottle of the Holy Water.
"Are you fucking kidding me!?" Vaggie snatched it out of his hand. "I thought I was going to be done" Raphael shook his head.
"Apologies, it was not as swift a recovery as I was hoping, but I am happy to say that you are better than you were. Thank you for doing your treatment." He turned to look at Charlie, "Princess, I wish to discuss the other patrons, if you don't mind."
"I don't mind at all," Charlie was worried about her friends. Raphael looked over at Vaggie. "Oh! It's fine, she can hear too!"
"As long as I have your permission." Raphael seemed to accept that answer without protest. Charlie was fine with Vaggie staying, she would just tell her everything anyway. This way it saved her a step! Plus, maybe Vaggie would be more receptive to the Archangels if she heard things from them directly, and on her own turf where no one would be pointing any guns at her! Or if they were it was just because it was Hell and it wasn't anything personal.
"You do, please go on." Charlie nodded.
"Let me guess," Vaggie folded her arms over her chest, leaning back slightly. "We're all, mysteriously, Corrupted."
"Oh, no. I mean it's not really a mystery how you would have contracted it, the Shoggoths were running rampant by the time we got there, so those of you who were Corrupted probably got it from that." Raphael replied politely.
"And we were all Corrupted?" Charlie frowned.
"Um... No." Raphael shook his head. "You were treated on-site by Michael, and it appears as if you're Corruption free. So, that's great... Also, Mimzy."
"Mimzy?" Charlie repeated, a little skeptical.
"Yes, it appears as if Mimzy is perfectly fine." Raphael gave a small shrug. "So that's exciting, she does not require any treatments."
"Like... Mimzy, Mimzy?" Charlie was still in a level of disbelief.
"There was only one Mimzy in the Hotel, correct?" Raphael's expression was hard to read through the mask, but he sounded confused.
"Yeah, but I'm just... never mind." Charlie shook her head. Mimzy had been pushed back at the last second before the initial Shoggoth attack. Though, with part of the mansion having caved in when the monster used Vox as a bit of a TV shaped battering ram, she had assumed Mimzy had been at least somewhat exposed. Apparently, not. "Good for Mimzy."
"Indeed, everyone else has treatment. So, if that is all, I think I should get back to my primary job." Raphael bowed his head again.
"You... will come back, right?" Charlie had to ask. There was a lot going on in Hell and in Heaven, she knew Raphael had to be busy, but she had to assure that her friends received the best treatment available.
"Of course, I'll check progress after one week." He nodded and Charlie instantly felt better. While it wasn't ideal to have her friends Corrupted, at least she had a way to make them better. Hopefully, Raphael would hold to his word.
"Do you promise?" But... just in case... Charlie wasn't above asking for a little reassurance. Promises were, allegedly, a big fucking deal for angels.
"I promise." Raphael assured her. Charlie felt a sudden rush of energy, like a wave of excitement or a burst of joy. It made her feel lighter than air. She smiled, suddenly feeling reinvigorated despite her late night.
"Thank you."
"May I take my leave, your highness?" Raphael stood patiently by the door.
"You may." Charlie bowed in return.
"Goodbye, Princess." Raphael smiled, briefly warping into his original form. Charlie could see the double halos, the large, pure emerald-colored eyes, the pale green skin, the warm smile. He winked at her, before vanishing in a flash.
"I'm still suspicious." Vaggie shrugged a bit. "But he did promise so at least we know he's coming back."
"There's no reason to be suspicious." Charlie tried to assure her.
"Mimzy." Vaggie reiterated what Raphael had said. "Everyone was Corrupted except for Mimzy." Charlie giggled a bit at the reaction.
"Yeah, weird. But she wasn't in the main fight. Maybe she just never got hit? Who the fuck knows. That whole thing was a blur. I was so worried about dad, about you, I wasn't really paying attention to Mimzy."
"..." Vaggie sighed a bit. "Neither was I." Charlie took her hands, pulling her in close, pressing a kiss to the bridge of her nose.
"I know today has already been a little crazy... but... can you keep an eye on the Hotel for me? Dad is finally starting to trust me to help solve this whole fucking Corruption Crisis, and I really wanna do as much as I can before he inevitably changes his mind." In all truthfulness, Michael had kinda... forced her father into including her. (Not that she minded, she was desperate to know what was happening to her home.)
"Of course." Vaggie smiled, relaxing as Charlie pulled her close, into a hug. "Keep me updated on whatever the fuck is going on with your dad."
"He's looking a lot better." Charlie figured she could at least give Vaggie some genuinely good news. "His leg is almost completely back; he's just missing a part of his hoof. And his hand and claws are completely regrown."
"Damn, that was quick."
"Yeah, I was starting to get a little worried because I haven't really ever seen him hurt before and then he wasn't really healing, but, now- now he's looking a lot better!"
"Glad to hear it." Vaggie gave her a swift kiss before pulling back. "Now go. Milk this change of heart before your dad starts icing you out again."
"I'll be back soon."
"I know you will."
"Love you!" Charlie had to hurry back to the mansion. She trusted that Vaggie would handle things with the Hotel for the time being. They would have to get Raphael to look over Alastor and Niffty next time. Now that she had a set time, she could let Alastor know to be there. (Not that there was much she could do if he didn't want to be there, but surely if he knew it was a doctor's appointment he'd be willing.)
She hurried back into the mansion, passing Lysander who was still face-down on the couch. Syn and Adam must have wandered off. She wasn't sure where to look for her dad, but he had just been in his office, so she figured she could look there first. Fortunately, her dad was there, sitting at his desk. Charlie couldn't really see his face because Adam was in front of him, hands on his desk leaning forward, mid conversation.
"You're just mad that you didn't win the slutty maid award."
"You didn't win the slutty maid award. You won for most realistic because you are an actual, fucking maid." Her dad's reply sounded almost... amused? It was weird to hear given, typically when he dealt with Adam, he just sounded frustrated.
"You're just jealous that Charon was totally checking me out. I have great legs and the costume took advantage of that fact." Adam's expression was also hidden due to the fact he was facing away.
"She absolutely wasn't checking you out. She has a significant other, you know. She told me. And trust me, I saw what you have to offer back in Eden, and it's really not impressive."
"Shut the fuck up you sack of-" Adam was starting to sling one of his typical insults at her dad, and while Charlie could tell they were arguing, she still felt the overwhelming need to interrupt. She cleared her throat, loudly.
"Oh, hey Jonagold! Welcome back!" Her dad immediately perked up, leaning around Adam who also turned to face her as she made the noise. They didn't seem surprised or startled to see her. "I assume Raphael didn't cause you any trouble? If he did, I can probably have him killed or something." Adam turned back to Lucifer, gathering up some empty plates and glasses in his arms.
"He can't though. Even Raph could kick his pathetic ass."
"Shut the fuck up, I could totally take Raph in a fight, what the fuck?" Her dad looked immediately back at Adam.
"You really couldn't." Adam retorted.
"So," Charlie didn't know who she thought would win in that fight. She really didn't want her dad to fight his doctor, it seemed counterproductive. "Where is um... Virgil?" She hadn't seen her not-uncle on her way in.
"He's probably fucking cleaning something, I don't know what he does in his spare time, you've seen that stupid fucking list." Her father immediately looked annoyed by the question. Adam looked uncomfortable.
"I saw Virgil in the West Wing."
"REALLY?" Her father immediately shot a look at Adam. "And you didn't stop him? You know that place is off limits."
"The fuck was I supposed to do?" Adam recoiled, looking annoyed. "I can't exactly fucking stop him. You know because he's..." he glanced over his shoulder at Charlie, "... such a good fucking handyman or whatever."
"Wait, does Adam know?" Charlie was a little annoyed at having discovered Virgil's identity after Adam.
"Yes, but only because of extenuating circumstances. I was always going to tell you, crabapple, I just wanted to do it right. Which, ended up being a waste of my fucking time because ass-hat McGee can't act like a normal fucking Fallen for ten goddamn seconds." It sounded like her father was telling the truth, and Charlie wanted to believe he had every intention of telling her about Michael. But... she didn't know if she did. Her father heaved a heavy sigh. "Charlie, let's go see what he's doing. Adam... I dunno... go clean something- or pretend to clean something, or whatever the fuck you do when I'm not around."
"I mostly just move things two inches to the left and see how long it takes you to notice." Adam replied dryly. Lucifer looked at Adam, his eyes narrowed, before leaning down and very closely examining the desk he was sitting at, and the marking on the floor. He sat up, glaring directly at the First Man.
"You fucking bitch-" He cut off as something seemed to occur to him, midsentence. "Actually, grab Lysander and Syn and you guys go sit in my room with the door closed. I'll let you know when you can come out."
"Not this shit again." Adam rolled his only good eye.
"Go." Lucifer waved him away and Adam left, but not before heaving the heaviest sigh and walking out into the hallway, shoulders drooping.
"Lysander! Syn!" Adam called into the hallway. "SLUMBERPARTY!"
"SLUMBERPARTYYYYYYYYYY!" Syn came flying up the stairs, her lights flashing an array of different colors.
"Goddamn it! Again!?" Lysander let out a groan from downstairs that was loud enough for Charlie to hear where she stood.
"Come on, that'll take care of them for a bit." Her father gestured for her to follow as he wheeled himself out of the office. The chair itself floated with ease, clearing the staircase as if it were nothing. Charlie passed Lysander who was heading up the stairs, looking like he was physically dragging himself along. They reached the first floor and Lucifer headed right toward the West Wing. Charlie knew that part of the house was off limits, at least to she and the staff. Her mom and dad would go there on occasion, but she had never been given access. She was almost a bit excited that she was being taken back. Even if Michael was allowed back first- though, according to everyone except her father- if Michael wanted to go, no one could have stopped him. "You doing okay, Honeycrisp?" Her father must have noticed Charlie's excitement.
"My first time in the West Wing, it's a bit of a big deal."
"I guess it's is," he smiled, but it instantly faded as they passed a painting of her father and mother than hung on the wall. "There's a lot of dangerous items in here. When you were little, it was a hazard, but now that you're an adult, I think you can be trusted not to try and eat one of my cursed artifacts."
"I will do my best not to." Charlie teased as they walked into a long hallway filled with doors, an ornate looking mural at the end. "There are a lot of rooms back here."
"It's mostly just different collections, stuff I have made over the years, or things humans made that I thought were neat."
"So, what does Michael want to do with it?"
"He helped me clean out some old junk from the library, it was the only room I let him into. So, I assume he is there. Or at least, he had fucking better be."
"That was big of you to let him help."
"Yeah, well, I am amazing and incredibly forgiving." Her dad went almost to the end of the hall before opening the very last door to see her uncle back in his angelic form in an almost barren looking room. Part of the walls and ceilings had been gouged out. He had piles of books and papers stacked in the center of the room. Only one wall still had books and an end table with papers stacked on top. "Hey... uh, asshole?" Her dad stopped in the doorway. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Michael was in front of them in an instant.
"I was organizing!" He looked pleased with himself as he gestured to the piles he was making. "I figured I could make some new shelves, get this room fixed up, it'll be good as new!"
"I didn't tell you to do that." Her father narrowed his eyes, looking over the stacks with mild annoyance. Michael tilted his head to the side.
"You told me I could do anything I wanted; so long as I got out of your face."
"I thought it was implied that I didn't want you in this wing without me." Her father gestured down the hall for emphasis.
"You never said anything like that. But if I overstepped, I'm sorry. I was just trying to get the room fixed up after we took it apart-"
"You didn't have a single other thing on that stupid fucking list of yours that didn't involve going into my personal sanctuary?" Her father cut Michael off. The Archangel sighed, the tablet materializing in his hand again as he scrolled through it.
"I mean, I wanted to investigate the barrier degradation, but that involves going into Hell-proper, and you won't let me do that either."
"Barrier degradation?" Charlie spoke up. "That sounds pretty important." She knew there was a barrier around Hell, it was why her mother and father couldn't just go right to Heaven and give them a piece of their minds- that and Port Gatory was in the way.
"Gabe did like, a really quick analysis before we..." Michael hesitated, looking like he wanted to say one thing, but changing his mind mid-sentence, "before we had to leave. The fact that Shoggoths got into Hell is pretty alarming."
"The Barrier is old; wear and tear is expected. Not like you four have been doing any routine maintenance." Her dad rolled his eyes.
"I mean... maintenance would have to be performed on both sides. I feel like we should have done some by now though, it's been thousands upon thousands of years." Michael started typing furiously on the screen of his tablet again.
"It's a magical barrier, dickwad, it should be self-sustaining!" Her father protested looking increasingly annoyed.
"It is, but at the same time, it doesn't hurt to look into its condition every few thousand years, just to be sure everything is working as intended." Michael seemed to either be oblivious to Lucifer's obvious annoyance, or he was simply tuning him out.
"We could try and figure out how the Shoggoths got in! That sounds like a great plan!" Charlie figured they had to start somewhere. "Plus, I have never gotten to actually see the barrier up close! I would love to take a look!"
"Checking the barrier could be a starting point, I suppose." Her dad didn't look sold on the idea, but since it had come from her, at least he was listening. "I know where to go to get the best information, but just be prepared."
"For what?" Charlie was a little concerned. This was her first trip to look into the barrier of Hell, after all, she didn't know what to expect. She had seen it, every day of her life, of course she didn't know that the red skies had a finite end when she was little, but now she knew- all around Hell were walls, trapping them inside for eternity. Though, she realized, those walls might also have been keeping something else out. Funny. She had never even considered that option.
"A lot of arguing." Her dad pulled out his phone scrolling through his contacts. Charlie took a deep breath, looking between her uncle and her father.
"I think I'll be okay."
"I'll see where they are right now, we can go directly to them so I don't have to be seen in this shitty fucking chair." Her dad seemed to find the contact he was looking for.
"Wait, who are we-?" Charlie didn't get to finish her sentence as her dad must have already dialed the number, putting the phone to the side of his head. There was a long pause, before he looked annoyed, and dialed again.
"Ladies! Nice of one of you to answer the fucking phone! How are you?" Her dad's attempt to be friendly seemed to be failing. "Who am I talking to? Is this Cerena? Can I talk to Bernadette? Bernadette. Put me on with- wait." He blinked. "She hung up on me."
"Maybe try calling again? I'm sure it was an accident." Michael suggested. Charlie had definitely heard the names Cerena and Bernadette before, but for the life of her she couldn't put a face with them. Lucifer gave Michael an irritated look as he started dialing again.
"It wasn't an accident. Now they aren't answering. God fucking damn it." The phone in his hand made a noise and Lucifer nearly dropped it. "A text message?" He squinted at the screen in complete confusion. "Did you shut up that's my duck you don't even call shampoo?"
"What does that even mean?" Charlie blinked.
"I'm going to text her back." Lucifer frowned. "Where are you right now? Can you meet me at your office in West Pride?" He read the words as he typed them. There was a pause before the phone pinged again. He looked at the message. "Gluttony god spam it you ducking skunk why are you hungry strawberries are yes. Pride. I can duck off I will bite your head off."
"So... that's a... yes?" Charlie squinted uncertainly at the phone. "We should go to Pride and meet... Bernadette?" That had been the name of the woman her dad had tried to speak with before he was unceremoniously hung up on.
"Yeah, I think she got the message." Her father looked rather unsure, but shrugged and put his phone back in his pocket. "Michael, you can get us to the gates of Pride, right?"
"Which gate?" Michael nodded agreeably.
"The western gate." Her dad replied, wheeling himself to Michael's side. Charlie hurried over as well, making sure she stayed included in the group. "Let me tell Adam he can let everyone out of the bedroom now." Her dad quickly pulled his phone back out.
"You put them in the bedroom?" Michael looked confused. Charlie was relieved to know she wasn't the only one wondering about that. Her father nodded.
"I didn't know what the fuck you were doing in here. How cleaned up it was."
"It's fine *now-"
"See," her father cut Michael. off. "I know that now. But I was being safe."
"Right, anyway..." Michael shrugged but let the subject drop. "Everyone, hold on! Keep your arms, legs, wings, and tails still during transport and please remember to have a nice trip." He said the words almost like an employee and Lu Lu world giving ride instructions.
"Are you being funny or-" As Charlie spoke, the room dissipated almost as if it were crumbling apart around her. But underneath the walls were different walls made entirely of black steel and flame, the ceiling vanished and suddenly Charlie was standing in a looming, dark building. Above her head was a chandelier of active flame, dripping molten lava onto the floor. Flames surrounded every wall; the room was uncomfortably warm. There was a large, onyx desk in front of them that towered over even Charlie. There was definitely a gate behind the desk, there were screaming faces, dripping molten rock, carved into the steel, it was closed by a massive, glowing chain. Charlie looked around in awe. "I don't think I have ever been here before."
"The Western Gates of Pride. The gate itself is really more aesthetic but it is a part of the barrier that separates Hell from the outside. But this is one of the only openings that isn't directly to Purgatory, and even that door, as you know, is one-way except for the Hell Liner. You can also get to the other rings from here, but inter-Hell transportation is way easier if you just take a fucking train."
"Port Gatory." Michael corrected Charlie's father before she even had a chance to. Her dad looked for a moment like he was going to argue, but he went quiet. It looked as if he were remembering something. Rather than snapping, he simply sighed.
"Yeah, Port Gatory."
"It's very... ominous." Charlie's eyes were drawn to the screaming faces spewing lava, because they really were hard to ignore.
"It's supposed to be. We don't want Sinners in this area. It's got access to Purg- to Port Gatory, to Heaven, even to the living world." He tapped his cane on the ground and Charlie saw symbols come alive in the ash-covered rock, searing light burning through the dirt like fire. "It's protected, but once and a while someone finds a fucking way in. Luckily we have security." He pulled a watch from his pocket, "who should really be here by now."
"Should you be Virgil?" Charlie looked over at Michael, she could see the eyes in his halos rapidly moving, looking around the room scanning it so fast, so methodically it reminded her if a computer. Michael turned his head so his face was looking toward her but the eyes never stopped their search. He gave a small shrug.
"It should be all right, I would think."
"No one is going to waltz in here and see us without going through the doors, and we would definitely hear them before they got close." Her father didn't sound concerned. Charlie was a bit surprised he would let himself be seen with Michael even in a more private setting.
"What about Bernadette?"
"Cerena, Bernadette, and Rusti might be more inclined to listen if they know that Heaven is here too. They can be a little difficult to work with." Her father replied dryly.
"I'm surprised they aren't here yet." Michael walked up to the desk, standing on his toes and still not even reaching the top.
"They were in Gluttony, I guess they're taking their time." Her dad didn't sound all that concerned. Charlie walked toward the walls, looking at the flames behind the bars, casting strange shadows all over the room.
"There isn't more security?" Michael walked away from the desk and went to look at the symbols Lucifer had made visible on the floor. "I mean, these are nice and all, but maybe there should be permanent staffing-"
"The girls have it handled." Her dad looked annoyed. "And these would have exploded your head if you hadn't been with me, thank you very much." He gestured rather intently to the symbol on the floor. Michael raised an eyebrow.
"I suppose that is a good deterrent." He went back to the desk looking up to try and peek over the top. He seemed to give up with standing on his toes, and his wings unfolded from his back. He flew to get a good look at the top. "Oh look! There's a little bell!" His sword appeared in his hand.
"Don't press the bell you'll-" Lucifer tried to stop him but it was too late. Michael hit the bell gently with the blade of the flaming sword. Charlie expected the blade would cut the bell in two, but it just made the bell give off a friendly little ding that reverberated around the massive room rather intensely. There was suddenly a commotion from the hallways behind the desk. There was a burst of light, as if flames rose up and were suddenly extinguished.
"Who the fuck touched the bell!?" A woman's voice rang out, loud, crisp, but somewhat covered by a second woman's voice excitedly yelling:
"BELL! BELL! SOMEONE RANG THE BELL! BELL! BELL! BELL! BELL!"
"I told you not to ring the bell." Charlie's dad didn't even react to the burst of light or the voices. The room trembled a bit as something massive approached from the hall. The flaming chandelier above their heads swayed and creaked with every room-shaking step. The voice saying the word bell was getting closer.
"I told you that we should have thrown out the fucking bell." The first woman's voice was also closer. A third woman's voice snorted before responding.
"It's not allowed."
"BELL!" Finally, a looming shadow fell over the room as the quake causing footsteps came to a stop. Charlie looked up to see a massive Hellhound that would have towered over even her mother. But her most striking feature was her three heads. She had short black fur with brown coloration around her muzzle and paws. The longer fur on her head- or rather... heads- was silvery in color. One head had the silvery fur cut sort with teal streaks, the middle head had the silvery fur in a tight bun, and the last head had the silvery fur in pigtails by her short, angular ears. "Bell! Who rang the bell!? Bell!" The last head was looking around eagerly, crimson eyes falling on Michael still floating in the air. "BOSS!" The paw on the same side as the head that was speaking, slammed onto the desk in excitement. "IT'S BEEN SO LONG! YOU DYED YOUR WINGS! IT LOOKS AMAZING. The red and white was a bit overkill, if I'm being honest, but I didn't want to say anything." The middle head snapped at the head that was speaking, looking annoyed.
"That's not the boss; that's the Archangel Michael!"
"Who?" The head with the pigtails looked confused. The middle head turned and looked at the head on the other side who was looking at a cellphone in her paw.
"Is that who you hung up on? The Archangel?"
"I dunno," the head with the teal streaks responded with obvious disinterest. "Maybe. I wasn't paying attention."
"Ladies!" Charlie's father cleared his throat and finally the three heads looked down, past Michael, to see him in his chair with Charlie standing at his side. "I am the one that Cerena hung up on." The head with the streaks snorted, looking a little smug before going back to her phone.
"Nice."
"Not nice, Cerena." The middle head looked more than annoyed by her companion's nonchalant attitude. "He is our Boss."
"He's a shit boss," the head with the streaks, that Charlie knew now to be named Cerena, didn't bother looking up from her phone.
"BOSS!" The head on the opposite side, with the pigtails, looked incredibly happy to see Lucifer. "I haven't seen you in so, long! I love that hoof-trim!"
"That's not a hoof-trim, part of my leg was torn off by a Shoggoth." Her dad pinched the bridge of skin between his eyes and Charlie saw him sigh heavily. "Charlie, you have met them before, but you were very young. So, I want to formally reintroduce you to Cerena," he gestured to Cerena, "Bernadette," he gestured to the head in the middle with the tight bun and round glasses, "and..." he sighed a bit "Rusti," he gestured to the head with the pigtails and a bright pink now around her neck. "These are the Cerberus sisters, tasked with guarding the barrier to Hell."
"Nice to meet you." Charlie bowed as politely as she could. That was where she had heard the names before, on the occasional birthday card. (And, once in a while, she would catch one of their names tossed around during arguments between her parents.)
"Omigosh! Princess! I haven't seen you since you were bite sized!" Rusti immediately looked over at Charlie. The massive black tail started to wag. "How are things going with that restaurant you started!?"
"It was a brothel, I thought." Cerena didn't look up.
"It was a Hotel." Bernadette snapped at both of her sisters, before leaning her head to get a better look at Charlie. "But how is that going for you?"
"It's going great! Lots of new Sinners." Charlie gave an awkward thumbs up. It felt a bit like talking to an old relative she hadn't seen in a long time.
"There's always lots of new Sinners. Purgatory keeps dropping people on us all the fucking time and it's a pain." Cerena replied, looking up from her phone at last to glance over at Michael who was still floating in the air "That why you're here? There hasn't been a slaughter in like half a fucking year or some shit, gotta be time for you to fix that."
"Ah, no." Michael smiled, but Charlie could see frustration in the way the eyes in his halos narrowed. "That isn't going to happen ever again." The voice he used at the end was louder than even the voices of the Cerberus sisters. Charlie could almost feel the way the words crackled with power.
"The Exterminations are over?" Bernadette looked surprised.
"Yes." Michael was smiling, but his voice still sounded angry.
"..." Bernadette looked briefly at a loss for words before clearing her throat. "Good. That's one less barrier permeation we need to account for."
"Yeah, about the barrier," Lucifer waved a hand to try and get the three to look back at him. Rusti looked over, Bernadette was still looking at Michael, and Cerena hadn't looked up from her phone. "Girls." Lucifer snapped his fingers. "Hey!"
"Sorry, Boss, it's just... Michael is here." Bernadette did look apologetic.
"Michael isn't your boss, I am. Look at me." Her father's voice was firm as Bernadette finally looked away from Michael toward him. "Cerena."
"I can listen and text." Cerena didn't sound too concerned.
"CERENA!" Her father took on the same, echoing, booming voice that Michael had used and Cerena begrudgingly looked up. "Thank you." Her father's voice returned to normal. "Now, you three may not be aware, but I was attacked by three Shoggoths that somehow got through our barrier into Hell."
"Sir, let me be the first to apologize-" Bernadette started to speak, but Cerena spoke at the exact same time:
"Not surprising the barrier is shit right now-"
"Is this before? Or after Charlie killed you?" Rusti also spoke over both her sisters making it a little difficult to untangle what was being said.
"I didn't murder my dad." Charlie did hear that part. "It was a puppet."
"You murdered a puppet!?" Rusti still seemed horrified.
"No, the puppet is fine! It's in my room." Charlie figured she might as well keep it in case she ever had to prove her innocence in some bat-shit court on one of Vox's dumb television programs. (She only had Vox for another few weeks, after all, she wasn't sure how things would be once his contract with her ended.) "But, Cerena, you were saying something about the barrier?" Charlie wanted to clear her name, but she also didn't want to detract from the mission at hand. Michael finally landed back on the ground.
"We sent Gabriel to look at it, and his report was concerning."
"Yeah, I bet it was, because the barrier has been shit for years." Cerena's reply was so as-a-matter-of-fact that Charlie was a bit taken aback.
"And you didn't tell me?" Her father spoke up before any of the heads could elaborate. Bernadette looked a little unsure.
"We sent you so many messages. Like, for years! I mean, Sir we have been trying to tell you. I even texted you about it last month!"
"No, you didn't." To prove his point, Lucifer pulled his phone from his pocket, going through his old messages. "The last text you sent me before today says: Boss, there is duck this I'm not wearing duck you I hate the hole in are you actually stupid gonna cry hate zone. That is nothing about the barrier."
"I fucking told you two to stop arguing when I am trying to text our boss!" Bernadette looked angrily from Cerena to Rusti. "Sorry sir, I use voice to text, I just can't actually text, because... you know..." she looked at the heads on either side of her. "Arms."
"Why didn't either of you bother sending the fucking message!? You all have phones!" Charlie's father gave the other two heads accusing looks.
"I sent you the message!" Rusti insisted! "Check your phone!" Lucifer looked back at the phone, going to messages from Rusti, and starting to scroll through them, looking increasingly frustrated as he continued scrolling.
"RUSTI THESE ARE CAT MEMES!"
"Yeah, I thought they were funny!" Rusti looked rather pleased with herself. "But like, keep looking. It's totally there."
"You mean this!?" After a good bit of scrolling, the Devil turned his phone to show a picture of a cat with its head stuck in a fence and the text: Dere is hol in bawwier?
"That's it!" Rusti slapped her hand on the desk, starting to laugh. "You see, it's funny too because the cat is suffering."
"You do NOT give important information in the form of cat memes! I feel like that should have been obvious but I am going to tell you now, for future information." Lucifer took a deep breath, clearly trying to calm himself. "What's your excuse?" He looked over at Cerena.
"I don't have a phone." Cerena replied without looking up from the phone in her hand. Lucifer, Charlie, Michael, and even Bernadette all turned to look at Cerena.
"Omigosh, Ceri, did you lose your phone that is so sad!" Rusti was the only one not staring at Cerena in disbelief.
"Cerena," Michael spoke calmly, but his tone was firm, "this is quite urgent. I understand that you are upset, and your feelings are valid, but the barrier is a very important aspect of Hell, and I think we would all benefit from you taking this a little more seriously."
"Why? So, he can just ignore all the fucking information we give him, like he's been doing for years? I did take the job seriously, Berni and I wrote up official documents, dictating all of our concerns and you didn't once step in to help out. You're lucky Queen Lilith gave a shit or it would be even worse than it is now."
"Lilith and I shared responsibilities, if you must know because that's what couples do! But the barrier was my responsibility." Charlie's father was starting to get even more angry. Charlie reached over, putting a hand on his shoulder, she knew her mom was a sore subject.
"Yeah, well, maybe you should actually fucking respond to shit." Cerena wasn't backing down. Bernadette seemed to also sense the tension in the air and cleared her throat rather loudly, trying to break up the argument before things got worse.
"Sir, I promise you the official documents we sent were much more thorough... and coherent. I know Hell mail isn't reliable, but we left them in the mailbox ourselves on occasion. We would have brought them to you by hand, but we know things were busy with the baby and-"
"Documents?" Lucifer raised an eyebrow, cutting her off. "I didn't get any-" Michael interrupted before he could finish.
"Actually, Luc, I came across some official looking documents when I was cleaning out the library. There was a whole bunch of mail too. I didn't want to go through it, because that seemed really personal, and also illegal, so I put it all together in nice little stacks for you to start sorting through at your earliest convenience."
"Nice of you to tell me that right fucking now, thank you Michael, you're a great help." Lucifer was clearly annoyed, but Michael simply smiled and nodded.
"You're welcome!"
"Honestly, it wasn't bad until recently." Bernadette looked a little unsure, but continued to try and explain the situation. "I just felt like the degradation was... faster than it should be. Going across it over and over again does wear on it overtime."
"There aren't that many people with the ability to cross." Lucifer countered. "The seven Deadly, the royals, certain breeds of Hellborn, the Horsemen, the Arcs, and Adam and his bullshit."
"There are these imps that go to the living world and do assassinations on occasion." Bernadette added, but Charlie's father shook his head.
"A few imps aren't going to degrade the barrier, especially if they're just going to the living world. If the incubi and succubi haven't screwed us, some random ass imps aren't going to do shit. There had to be something else."
"Damn, everyone wants to know about the fucking barrier recently, am I right?" Rusti looked to her fellow heads for confirmation.
"Oh?" Charlie had a feeling her dad was going to snap, and it didn't seem like the sisters responded well to aggression, so the Princess thought she might try and different approach. "Have you had other visitors aside from us?"
"Oh yeah!" Rusti nodded. It seemed like Charlie's plan to be gentle was working. (Though Cerena would be the real test.) "There was, the white lady, the yellow guy, and like... the Queen used to come by, but she hasn't come around in like... ten years? Maybe?" Charlie's mother hadn't been by since before the divorce, that made sense, though Charlie wouldn't have been surprised if her mother was still carrying out other aspects of her queenly duties.
"The white lady...?" Her father finally spoke up, looking a little pensive. "Are you talking about Charon?"
"Lady Death, yes." Bernadette nodded. "But we only like just met her. She came by to ask if you ever went to your eleven o'clock meeting."
"We told her if she wanted to meet with you, it was better to just break into your house and wait for you be in a room where she could lock you in. Nice of you to tell us about Azzie, by the fucking way " Cerena finally looked up. "We looked like total jackasses talking to Charon." Charlie saw her father tense, his hands curling into fists so tight Charlie was worried his claws would draw blood from his palms, even through the gloves. All the eyes in Michael's halos looked at Lucifer, and he seemed like he wanted to go toward him. Charlie squeezed her father's shoulder, leaning down so she could whisper.
"Are you okay?" She wrapped an arm around him, hugging him. She had heard about Azrael from Michael, and she knew from stories that her father had been very close to the angel in question. She felt her father's breathing steady.
"I did not know about Azrael." Her father's voice was shockingly cold. The eyes in Michael's halos looked away before slowly looking back toward Lucifer. Charlie could feel tension building in the air, so thick it was almost suffocating.
"What about the yellow guy?" Charlie felt like the subject needed to change or something was going to happen.
"Balaam," Bernadette explained, "he usually came alone, but he accompanied Charon on her only visit. He just... had concerns-"
"He wanted to try and check on things for himself since you know-" Cerena was definitely about to make another dig at Charlie's father but Rusti, who seemed to have been ignoring the entire conversation, deep in thought, interrupted.
"There was that whole break-in."
"What?" Immediately Lucifer released the anger he was building up to fight with Cerena, and turned his attention to Rusti. "Break-in? What fucking break-in!?" Bernadette cleared her throat, looking uneasy and a little sheepish.
"Well, we didn't see who did it, but once every... hundred years or so, something would be amiss in one of our offices. But we didn't really think that much of it, because it's Hell and with three of us, things get a little misplaced. But not too long ago we came to our office in Sloth and things had been... ransacked? We think it might be the same individual."
"Did you see who did it?" Charlie wasn't sure what sort of incredible things were hidden away in the office of Cerberus, but she couldn't imagine it would be something the normal populace of Hell should get their hands on.
"No, and our cameras were all deactivated." Bernadette sighed. "The incidents were becoming more and more frequent, especially over the past few years, but if I'm being honest, we thought the misplaced items were all Rusti's fault."
"It's something I would do," Rusti took her paw and patted Bernadette on her head affectionately. Michael frowned, his gaze turning up toward them.
"Mistakes happen. But do you know if anything was stolen?"
"Just some data." Cerena replied, her tone still flat, but not nearly as bitter as it was with Charlie's father. "We are constantly analyzing barrier integrity at each and every point, they ended up stealing that research." Charlie frowned.
"Do you think that might be related to the Shoggoths?" She was asking really anyone who might know the answer, be it her dad, or the three-headed Hellhound.
"It's possible. Especially given the time frame. We caught this break-in maybe... two days before the wild party at your mansion, we knew the barrier was in... less than ideal shape, but we didn't think it was bad enough for anything to actually slip through." Bernadette replied, hesitantly, her ears drooping.
"Do you know how long the Shoggoths might have been in Hell?" Charlie's father had his arms crossed, appearing deep in thought.
"... no. But my guess is they were here longer than a day, they were under ground, after all." Bernadette admitted. "There were a lot of anomalies with the barrier on that day. But they came from Heaven, and... well... from you." Charlie looked over at her father, who saw her staring and decided to explain.
"I ripped open the barrier to get rid of the first Shoggoth. And then Michael decided to come in uninvited with all his stupid friends and that also fucked with the barrier. So, that was super inconsiderate."
"Sorry, usually we would announce ourselves first but you haven't been receptive to our calls in the past." Michael replied politely.
"Gee, I wonder why that might be, hm?" Charlie's father looked Michael in the eyes and all the eyes on the halos instantly looked away. "Girls," Lucifer turned back to face Cerberus. "I want everything about the barrier delivered directly to my hands. I want you to scour each and every movement across. I want your offices searched until every fucking bit of information is accounted for. And I want whoever took that data to be caught."
"Please!" Charlie added quickly as she could see Cerena's upper lip starting to lift in order to bare her teeth. "You're Cerberus, after all! The greatest Hellhound of all time! I bet if anyone could do all this: It's you!"
"Thank you, Princess, for your confidence." Bernadette seemed to smile a bit as Cerena gave Charlie a nod and Rusti looked excited.
"You're so sweet!" Rusti gushed as the tail behind them started wagging again. "If we find the culprit, do you think we can eat them?"
"Let me talk to them first," Charlie's father was quick to interject, "then maybe. But report everything to me. If I'm not there, either wait, or talk to Syn."
"Who's Syn?" Cerena glanced at Rusti.
"The new secretary!" Rusti piped up. "She and I like to send each other funny pictures!" The other two heads turned to look at her.
"Why are you talking to the secretary? We deal with the Boss directly." Bernadette reminded her. Cerena snorted loudly.
"When he fucking answers."
"I like to talk to the staff sometimes! Not about work or anything lame. I like gossip!" Rusti's ears were perked up. "But Boss fired all his staff years ago and there was no one to get gossip from. Then his prior secretary was shit about replying, but his current one is great! Lots of spicy gossip. Did you know that the Boss and his maid are not getting a divorce?"
"Uh!" Charlie spoke up quickly, but her dad cut her off.
"That is because my maid is a piece of shit, and we aren't married. He's awful. I don't even like him. Also, don't text my fucking staff for gossip."
"Which secretary was shit about replying?" Charlie felt a wave of relief wash over her at her father's response. "Was it Nancy?" There had been a lot of members of the palace staff back when she lived there, she wasn't sure who, if anyone, was technically serving as her father's secretary. Her dad let out a sigh, shaking his head as if disappointed in himself.
"I think she means Lysander. I hired him on as a secretary, initially, but he sucked at the job. He's a good shot though, so I made him security instead and decided to invent the perfect secretary. Syn is a... work in progress."
"She's nice." Rusti added helpfully.
"You know, if we are gathering data, we could go back to the library." Michael suggested, also seemingly happy to get things back on track. "Maybe some of that mail I found has the information the sisters sent to you."
"Yeah, let's head back." Her dad leaned into his chair. "You three let me know any and every update. Phone call, text message- not you," he pointed to Bernadette, "or face-to-faces. I don't care so long as I get the information."
"Yes sir." Bernadette nodded.
"Okie dokie boss man!" Rusti agreed cheerfully.
"It'll be a cold day in Pride before you ever, actually do something with that information." Cerena went back to looking at her phone. "But what the fuck ever. I don't even care anymore."
"Shall we head back?" Michael looked to Lucifer for conformation. The Devil glanced at the three headed sisters, before giving Michael a nod.
"Yeah let's-" as her dad started to speak, the room began peeling away again. The dark, cavernous layer of Cerberus was once again replaced with the barren, torn-apart library. Charlie blinked; she didn't even feel herself move. It was such an odd sensation, but she wouldn't call it unpleasant. "Can you let me fucking finish my sentence!?" Her dad looked annoyed, up at Michael who immediately apologized.
"Sorry! I thought we were done!"
"I was still talking, you asshole!"
"I didn't mean to cut your off! I already started the process when you had started speaking, and I didn't want to stop mid-way because who knows where we'd end up. And I really wanted to get back to start sorting through all of this because it is on the list-"
"Shut up about the fucking list!" Her dad was immediately fighting with her uncle once more. (Between those two and the Cerberus sisters, Charlie was starting to feel relieved that she was an only child. Unless one counted Syn, of course.)
"Where should we start?" Charlie cut them off before she was here all afternoon listening to the Morningstar brothers fight.
"Well, there was a lot of like... loose papers, some of them were stuffed in the books we collected, some were under books on tables; I have kind of stacked everything here." Michael gestured to the middle of the room.
"Don't open anything with my name on it." Lucifer immediately wheeled closer to the stack of papers, grabbing a large pile with his tail and pouring it into his lap. Charlie grabbed a pile as well of mostly old looking envelopes, some of it seemed to be junk mail, judging by the dramatic decorations on the front accompanied by phrases like: GET SOULS NOW!
"Can I open anything?" Charlie started thumbing through the envelopes. Her dad was moving through things faster than she was.
"Not if it's addressed to me or your mother. Sorry, my little red delicious, I don't want you to accidentally see something... uh... personal."
"Gross." Charlie squinted at him wondering what fucking things she might see in the mail but the more she thought about it, the less she wanted to know. So, she and Michael sorted through the closed envelopes and dropped them onto her father's pile. There were some papers that weren't sealed that she was able to go through. "Oh shit! This is from Jezebel!" Charlie held up a form that was crumbled, looking more like garbage than anything else. She unfolded it to see hand written notes about the souls going on the Hell Liner. "She... requested some maintenance." In retrospect, this seemed important. (If Charlie was allowed back in Port Gatory again, she'd have to tell Jezebel she found her request.) Her dad looked up, holding out his hand.
"That's handled for now, but give it here."
"Sure." Charlie handed it to him. "Michael, have you gone through everything yet?" Charlie had a feeling the rapidly growing pile of closed envelopes would be keeping her dad busy for some time. She felt like she could do more if she could find more of the loose papers.
"I haven't checked the far side yet." Michael gestured to a bookshelf on the wall opposing the wall that had been torn apart. There was a small end table piled high with books and envelopes. Charlie started to make her way over, but her father grabbed her hand, looking toward Michael.
"Is that safe?"
"It should be, we cleaned everything out pretty well." Michael replied confidently. Charlie felt like there was a story here, either something had spilled in the room, or her uncle might have accidentally blessed the whole thing and Charlie might risk getting a burn if she touched the wrong book. She would ask more questions later, as she was actually being allowed to help and the last thing, she wanted was to set her dad off into one of his paranoid spirals.
"Just be careful." Her dad released her hands and Charlie went to the table. She stacked up the loose papers and letters. There was one that stood out. The envelope was crisp, there was golden writing on the front addressed to her mother and father, the script was flawless, the ink seemed to almost glow in the dim light. She placed it on the top of the stack walking over to bring it to her dad. She went back to the table and started gathering the books. As she lifted one, another beautiful, ornate envelope fell out. This one had her name on it, the handwriting looked different from the one in the other envelope, but it was still beautiful.
"This letter is to me..." Charlie stared for a moment as she turned the envelope over in her hand. Her dad and Michael both looked up.
"To you?" Her dad seemed surprised. "Charlie, maybe let me see that before you-" Charlie didn't let him finish, opening the envelope. She could feet something solid inside of it. She pulled out a letter first, it was written in by the same hand that had scrawled her name on the envelope.
"Dearest Charlie," she started to read aloud. "How are you? I'm sad I haven't had a chance to come meet you yet, but things are busy. I hope you'll understand. I want nothing more than to see the first life Luc brought into Hell since the Fall. I bet you're beautiful. Your mother and father are so happy, so proud. I wonder what sort of amazing princess you will grow up to be? Strong like your father, beloved like your mother... you have so much potential. I want nothing more than to hold your little hand, pinch your rosy little cheeks, hear you laugh, and to see the joy you are going to bring." The room felt like it had gone dead silent. "I have never met you and I already love you so much. I know the best thing to do would be to see you in person, and I will! First chance I get! But until that day comes, I got you a little something. May it help you find light on your darkest days." Charlie tilted the envelope and a beautiful, golden bracelet fell into her hand. There was a charm on it, a butterfly, from the looks of it. "Yours, now and forever, Azrael." Charlie looked up. Her father looked... like he was in shock. He slowly looked down and saw the pile Charlie had brought, the envelope with golden lettering at the top.
"Luc, maybe don't..." Michael started to speak, but her dad ignored him. His hands almost seemed to tremble as he lifted the envelope and slowly tore it open. He pulled out something printed on card stock, stared at it a moment, and then it fell from his hand floating onto the floor.
"I have to go."
"Dad!"
"Luc-"
"I have," her dad wouldn't even look at them as he wheeled his chair rapidly toward the door, "to go." He slammed the door to the library behind him. Charlie stood in shock, the golden bracelet still in her hand. She walked over to the letter he had dropped, picking it up off the floor. There was the same golden text on the front.
Your presence is requested at the funeral for our friend and loved one: Azrael.