In his room, Jim sat at his desk, finishing up the paperwork for the material transfer. It was impossible to pass by Vulcan without stocking up on a few local goods, like sand salt or softening lacquer, which the women in the crew were particularly fond of.

"JIM!"

He looked up from his tablet to face the newcomer. From the way McCoy had said his name, there was no doubt about what had brought him here.

"Bones? What do I owe the honor of this intrusion?" he said, already sure of the answer.

"Spock!" McCoy said in a grave tone.

"Really?" Jim leaned back in his chair, unsurprised.

He was so used to hearing that tone of voice that he had even given it a name: the Vulcan special tone. Just by looking at his captain's face, McCoy immediately realized Jim was unaware of the latest developments.

"Spock hasn't told you anything?" he asked.

"Well, as far as I know, he went down to the city with Stone to take care of what we talked about, and they came back," Jim said, not really seeing what McCoy was getting at.

"Not at all! He got married to Stone!" McCoy exclaimed, scandalized."

Jim stared at him, incredulous.

"Spock is married...," he said, stunned. "To Stone?" he added, as if that part were even more unbelievable.

"He told me himself!"

At first, Jim felt a shock. He got up thoughtfully, crossed his arms, and leaned on his desk. He would never have imagined that his closest companion would tied the knot again. Having a child, sure, but a wife?

No, because the idea of his best friend being a father actually pleased him. He already saw himself with the kid in his arms, teaching things or playing. Uncle Jim would throw him up in the air, making him laugh hysterically, and they'd have a blast together. He'd get him authorized to come aboard, let him sit in the captain's chair where he'd look as proud as could be and the whole crew would melt at the sight of this tiny Spock running down the halls. But there had never been any mention of a wife. A wife was a whole different ballgame. And this time, it wasn't just a Vulcan far away on her planet... A wife would inevitably aim for the spot he himself had always occupied, that of the person Spock cared for the most. At the thought of this, Jim felt a rush of jealousy that even surprised him. He immediately brushed it off, telling himself it was perfectly normal. Competing with a girl as hopeless as Stone was seriously vexing.

"Jim! Do you realize what this means?"

"Huh? Yeah. But why did they get married? The kid doesn't need a mother, and she didn't even want to be one, anyway."

"That plan must've failed because the first thing she asked for was an abortion. And Spock refused her! He has the right to, if you can believe that. He practically threatened to sue me!"

"Really?" he said incredulously. "That's... very surprising."

"Surprising? It's worse than that!" McCoy exclaimed, scandalized. "It's barbaric! I get why our 21st century doctors went crazy over this stuff!"

Jim shook his head, stunned. McCoy had to be exaggerating.

"This marriage is a goddamn disaster waiting to happen! Those two are going to kill each other!"

He knew from experience that Stone was quick with her fists, but from there to committing murder, that was a bit of a leap.

"I think you're exaggerating, Bones."

"I'm sure this is going to end badly. You've got to step in before something terrible happens," McCoy said gravely.

Jim would've loved to do something, but he was completely powerless.

"What do you want me to do, Bones? They're already married."

McCoy shrugged, caught off guard.

"I don't know, but... you could at least talk to him."

"Bones, on this ship, I'm the captain, and you're the psychologist. Guess who's in charge of marriage counseling?" Jim said, with no desire to take on such a thankless task.

The doctor sighed deeply.

"He won't listen to me," McCoy said, worried. "I don't know... I've got a bad feeling about this."

"They did survive the mission, after all," Jim reminded him.

"So what? You couldn't find two people less compatible than them!"

Jim nodded, unable to disagree with the obvious.

"Keeping them on the same ship is just asking for trouble. Maybe we could separate them," McCoy mused. "Stone could be reassigned to another ship for... I don't know, some reason or another," he suggested.

Even though part of him fully supported that plan, Jim looked at him doubtfully.

"Bones, is there something I should know?" Jim asked, giving him a pointed look.

"Something like what?"

"Well, considering Spock got married this morning, it seems a little soon to start plotting to get rid of his wife."

McCoy stared at him for a moment before letting out a long, resigned sigh, realizing he might be overreacting.

"Yeah, I know. It's a bit extreme, but you didn't hear him," he said as if that explained his concern. "He's really..."

"Well, he's always been a bit..." Jim stated. "But he's still the best commander in Starfleet, and I'm sure he'll be the best husband too," he said, determined to remain optimistic.

The doctor shrugged, unconvinced.

"Come on, Bones, he deserves a chance!" Jim said, as he stood, giving him a friendly pat on the shoulder.

"I hope you're right," McCoy grumbled, albeit reluctantly.

The door opened, and both of them looked up to see the man of the hour walking into the room.

"Well, speak of the devil," Bones said caustically.

"Captain, Doctor."

The strange look both of his friends gave him didn't go unnoticed.

"I imagine Doctor McCoy has informed you of recent events, Captain."

"Uh... Yes, and if I understood correctly, you got married," Jim said, trying his best to feign enthusiasm.

"That is correct."

"Congratulations, Spock. My best wishes for your happiness."

Spock gave him a look, clearly perplexed.

'Happiness is irrelevant to the purpose of union, Captain.'

McCoy snorted softly, leaning against the nearest console.

"Well, ain't that the Vulcan way of looking at things. You ever stop to wonder if happiness might be part of the point?"

Jim's lips twitched into a grin as he turned to Spock.

"You were coming to tell me, I suppose."

"No. I came to inform you that I have placed Johann under arrest."

Jim and Bones froze, their expressions almost comically synchronized.

"Uh... You did what?" Jim asked in disbelief.

"I placed Johann under arrest. She disobeyed my orders."

McCoy was left speechless, while Jim stared at his friend, struggling to believe what he was hearing.

"Spock, you didn't really do that...?"

The Vulcan raised an eyebrow, surprised.

"Yes. After a heated exchange in engineering, she disobeyed my orders, questioned my authority, and insulted me in front of twelve crew members. She deserves a trial, but I find it inappropriate. She suffered from heatstroke, which may explain her behavior. A few days in confinement should suffice."

"What did I tell you, Jim?" McCoy snapped, furious.

Jim cleared his throat, staring at his best friend.

"Spock... you can't arrest your wife on your wedding day," Jim attempted.

"Starfleet regulations do not provide for any exceptions regarding the following of orders on a wedding day."

Jim stared at him in disbelief. He was beginning to understand why Bones was sure this would end in disaster.

"Spock, I think the best course of action would be to forget this whole thing and release your wife," Jim said with a forced smile.

"I disagree, Captain."

"Nevertheless, we're going to let her out," Jim insisted.

He walked over to the monitor and pressed the intercom button.

"Kirk to the detention cell. Release... Miss... uh, Mrs... uh, Spock."

"The prisoner is listed as Johann Stone, Captain." crackled the intercom.

"Yes. Let her out."

"Aye, sir."

Spock looked at him, puzzled.

"May I ask why you released her?"

Jim pursed his lips, unsure how to explain that imprisoning your own wife simply can't be done, especially not on the day of your wedding.

"Because your role is to help her, you cold-blooded goblin!" McCoy thundered.

"Johann is a member of the crew and is subject to the same regulations as all crew members," Spock reminded him.

"Damn it, Spock! She's your wife!"

"She is a third-class mechanic, and I am a commanding officer. I cannot tolerate her publicly disrespecting me," the Vulcan said, lifting his chin. "Her conduct was unacceptable."

"And could you tell us why she disrespected you, Spock?" McCoy asked, raising his own chin.

"I do not believe I owe you an explanation for this situation, Doctor," Spock said, staring him down.

McCoy opened his mouth to fire off a sharp retort, but the monitor interrupted him.

"Detention cell to the Captain," crackled the intercom.

Jim walked over and pressed the communication button.

"Kirk here."

"Captain, Johann Stone refuses to leave."

Jim seems surprised.

"I'll handle it," Spock said, heading for the door.

"Jim!" McCoy gave him a look that said he had better do something.

Jim nodded in agreement. If he wanted to prevent this first day of marriage from escalating further, it was better to oversee the situation himself.

"Mr. Spock, I'll accompany you," he said, falling into step behind him.

Spock didn't seem thrilled about the chaperoning but didn't object, and they proceeded to the detention room where the guard greeted them.

"I've deactivated the force field, Captain," the guard said, pointing to the cell at the back. "Stone is free to leave."

They approached and saw Johann lounged on the cot, hands laced behind her head. As they stood by the door, she glanced at them, and upon seeing the captain, she got up to attention.

"Captain," she greeted him, pointedly ignoring her husband.

"First, let me congratulate you on your marriage. Best wishes for your happiness."

Jo forced a smile that was anything but sincere.

"What's your reason for refusing to leave?"

" "Because, sir, Commander Spock has taken my quarters, and there's no way I'm bunking with him," she said, lifting her head. "With your permission, I'd prefer to remain imprisoned."

"Vulcan spouses must remain together during the first year of their marriage," Spock confirmed. "It is unthinkable for my wife and me not to stay in the same quarters."

Jo sighed, looking thoroughly discouraged.

"Vulcans do this, you have to do that; you're obligated. You see Captain, since we got back, it's been one charming surprise after another, and nobody's asked me a damn thing. Didn't even get a damn say in marrying this… the commander. Since I have no idea what else he'll put me through, imprisonment seems a lot safer."

"You didn't have a choice to marry him?" Kirk asked, looking at her in surprise.

"That's not entirely accurate. We could either marry or be juged," Spock interjected.

Jim stared at Spock, astonished.

"I didn't know this mission was illegal according to Vulcan laws," he explained.

"Yes, but as for choices, I didn't have any. His whole family guaranteed me that these damned Vulcans would throw me in jail for life if I faced the council," Johann said, crossing her arms. "It was a forced marriage."

Jim's incredulous gaze shifted between them. "An forced marriage…," he repeated, uncomfortable with this unsettling revelation.

"You seem troubled, Captain. Should I have informed you, that it was a forced marriage?" Spock asked.

Jim looked at him, caught off guard. "Uh… I'd say… actually, I suppose not," he said, acknowledging that, even though it was completely amoral from a human perspective, it wasn't really his concern as a captain. "Listen, I'm sure that Stone … I mean, Mrs. Spock…"

"Stone!"

"I'm sure Mrs. Stone could have her quarters back until… well, until things settle down," he said, trying to be accommodating.

"That's out of the question," Spock said. "We must remain together."

"You see?" Jo said with wide eyes.

"Spock, I'm sure a compromise is possible," Kirk insisted, realizing just how much his friend lacked gallantry in this situation.

"Tradition must be respected."

Jim gave him an insistent smile. "Well, Earth tradition also requires respecting the wishes of a newlywed."

"Really?" Spock asked, surprised.

"Yes," Jo and Kirk replied in unison.

Spock looked at them, curious. "I'm not certain I understand the details of this tradition," he said, putting his hands behind his back. "How long does it last and under what conditions?"

There was a moment of somewhat stunned silence, broken by Jo's exasperated laugh.

"What I'm saying," Jim tried to explain, "is that initially, the groom should be accommodating towards his wife. Until everyone adjusts. Does that make sense to you?"

"No. This rule is not clear at all."

Jo let out a derisive laugh as Jim awkwardly cleared his throat.

"For example, your wife prefers to stay in her quarters, so you might show some flexibility and let her do that."

"That would be inappropriate," Spock insisted.

Jo had had enough, and her eyes sparked with fury. He wanted his tradition? He'd get it.

"You want to force me? Perfect!" she spat. "But you're going to regret it, let me tell you."

"Stone, you might want to…" Kirk began, realizing just by looking at his mechanic that Spock was likely to end up in pieces.

"Thank you, Captain," she said in a flat voice. "These are Vulcan traditions. So, we'll respect the 'Vulcan traditions' of my 'Vulcan husband,' right, darling?"

Jo walked out of the cell and stormed out with a furious expression.

"Seems like it's off to a rough start," Jim said, staring at the doors sliding shut with a sharp hiss.

"I wouldn't say that. Humans are unnecessarily emotional, and she is very spontaneous," Spock observed philosophically.

Kirk pursed his lips, doubting that one could remain optimistic about the bride's disposition.

"Still, she did seem genuinely angry," Jim said, concerned.

"She called me 'darling,' a term which among humans implies attachment to a spouse," Spock noted.

Kirk looked at him seriously, wondering where to begin. "Actually, I don't think it was meant positively…"

Jim cleared his throat, thinking about how right McCoy had been.

"Spock… Look, as a friend, I have to… Well, you see, in situations like this…"

"Captain, if you don't mind, I'd prefer to avoid this sort of embarrassing conversation," Spock cut in professionally.

"Still, it would be important to…"

"Captain?" Spock said with a bored look.

Jim sighed. Spock was his best friend, and he knew him better than anyone, but emotional outpourings had never been their strong suit. Besides, when it came to romantic complications, he followed the classic solution: get rid of the troublesome partner.

"Commander Spock," crackled the intercom.

Spock moved toward the device.

"Spock, I'm listening."

"Janice Rand. I inform you that a mechanic has entered your quarters and there have been some disturbing noises since. Do you want me to call security, sir?"

"No. Thank you, Miss Rand. I'm on my way."

Spock turned to Jim, who felt somewhat overwhelmed by the situation.

"Captain, if you would excuse me."

"Spock, I think it would be best if I came with you."

"If you don't mind, I would prefer to handle this myself."

Jim regarded him skeptically.

"This is a domestic issue," Spock pointed out. "A captain's intervention seems excessive."

Jim nodded. He had made a point.

"Well, as you wish, but don't forget that I'm not just the captain, Spock. I'm also your friend... especially your friend."

"Captain."

Spock exited, ascended to the upper level, and followed the corridor to a small crowd gathered outside the door from which a loud racket was emanating. He felt a powerful exasperation, which he quickly controlled, and approached the crew, who looked at him with alarmed expressions.

"Move along," he said. "Everything is under control."

"Are you sure, sir?" Janice asked, troubled.

"Yes. Thank you, Miss Rand."

They reluctantly dispersed, but stayed close, all curious about what would happen next. Rumors were spreading that the commander had married a third-class mechanic, but of course, no one had believed it... until now.

Spock opened the door and entered the devastated room. Holding a large club, Jo smiled at him.

"Since we're going to be together, I decided to do some redecorating. Looks better this way, doesn't it?" she said, twirling the club.

In record time, Jo had accomplished a real massacre. Everything had been crushed, broken, smashed, or destroyed. The curtains had been ripped down, and almost everything in the room had been pulverized.

"The relief it gave me, you wouldn't believe," she added with satisfaction.

Spock nodded.

"Good."

Jo blinked. She had wrecked nearly all his possessions, yet he remained completely indifferent. The intense satisfaction she had felt from the wreckage evaporated instantly, and she sniffed with contempt.

"So even that doesn't bother you? You're just a fucking block of ice," she spat.

"Actually, your action confuses me as I do not quite understand its purpose."

This Olympian calm infuriated her beyond measure. She took aim and threw the club at him, intending to crush him. He easily dodged it with a smooth movement, and it bounced off the polymer surface, leaving a hole. Spock concluded that she was agitated.

"May I suggest that we mate?"

She must have misheard.

"What?"

"Sex has a calming effect on humans."

"Goddammit…" she muttered to herself, looking at him in horror. "That's madness, I've heard enough for today."

She walked over to the bed which, immune to club's assault, was the only thing spared, grabbed the bedding, rolled it up, then headed for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving while you clean up this mess," she growled.

She stormed out, and the doors closed behind her. Spock observed the countless demolished and irretrievably lost works of art. He had to make a great effort to control the distress he felt but succeeded, even convincing himself that he did not care for material possessions. After five minutes of concentration, he was convinced that the destruction of the room did not unduly disturb him. However, the significance of it all left him puzzled. He thought about it for a moment and concluded that it was most likely a spontaneous and brutal reaction driven by uncontrolled emotion.

Lacking curiosity about the nature of the uncontrolled emotion and even less about its causes, he was satisfied with this deduction and, logically, began to restore order to the wrecked room.

Note

According to Enterprise, after their marriage, Vulcan newlyweds must remain together for a full year. (Breaking the Ice and Home.)

Spock's reactions are inspired by the episode "The Galileo Seven," where Spock takes command of the Galileo shuttle. It crashes on a planet, and Spock, acting solely based on logic, fails to consider the crew's emotions, leading them to become furious and almost mutiny against him.

According to this episode, Spock is therefore unable to anticipate, truly understand, or manage human emotions, especially when they are violent or exacerbated.

And in this incident, the crew was obedient, trained, and disciplined. In the case of a forced marriage with a rough third-class mechanic, the situation seems likely to escalate further.