One morning, Maeve nearly overslept, and Jessica had to go in and wake her up. Maeve groaned. "Does this happen often?"
"Does what happen often?" Jessica responded, confused.
"Spencer getting called to work in the middle of the damn night," Maeve complained.
Jessica shrugged. "I know it's happened before, but I'm not really sure how often it happens. It's not like I find out about it until a reasonable hour anyway."
"You've never been woken up by Spencer getting ready for work at an ungodly hour?" Maeve asked, surprised.
Jessica smirked. "See, this is one of the awesome things about being Deaf. Spencer can do whatever the hell he wants and I can sleep right through it."
Maeve stared groggily at her. "I do not have enough coffee for this conversation."
"Well you'd better hurry, because you've got twenty minutes before I leave without you."
"Start the coffee."
Jessica laughed. "As you wish, my lady."
"Do you know if JJ and Will are having problems at home?" Garcia asked Jessica.
Jessica's jaw dropped at the audacity of the question. "I know that IF they did, that would be nobody else's business and I wouldn't go around gossiping about it."
"You're avoiding the question. Morgan always says that's a sign."
"Maybe in unsub interrogations it is. Not when you're asking wildly inappropriate and invasive questions about other people's private personal affairs," Jessica retorted. She reread what she'd just sent, then decided on an amendment. "Which I suppose is something you guys often do in interrogations, but unless there's some suspected crime here that I don't know about, I don't see that I have any reason to answer that question."
"JJ and the new section chief seem VERY close," Garcia announced. "Like, 'secret looks and quiet conversations that stop the moment I show up' close."
Jessica REALLY wasn't sure how to respond to that. She actually did have a pretty good idea what that was about—she was one of the few people who knew enough that JJ felt safe venting to her—but Jessica knew perfectly well that she wasn't allowed to explain this to Garcia. Although, maybe she could at least steer Garcia in the right direction…
"Maybe she's been selected for some secret badass mission and Cruz has been briefing her?" Jessica suggested.
"No!" Garcia insisted. "We do not do secret missions here! We are a team and JJ is never leaving us again!"
"Do you honestly think that JJ cheating on Will is MORE likely than JJ getting selected for a badass mission?" Jessica retorted. "JJ is a total badass who loves her family. My money's on the badass mission."
"…just so long as this mission doesn't take her away from the team again," Garcia relented.
That year, it was decided that Spencer, Maeve and Jessica would host Maeve's parents at the apartment for Thanksgiving. The elder Donovans still did not sign, but they'd met Jessica a few times and picked up the basics, so Jessica didn't mind too much. Besides, she was planning to spend a significant chunk of the day cooking.
"Maeve, sweetie, shouldn't you be helping in the kitchen?" Mr. Donovan asked worriedly.
"Jessica's fine," Maeve assured.
"But you're our hostess, not her," Mrs. Donovan argued. "I'm sure that poor girl didn't ask for you to have us over. You really should be preparing dinner yourself."
Maeve rolled her eyes. "Mom. You know perfectly well what happens when I try to cook anything more complicated than a microwave meal. Is that really what you want to eat today?"
Mrs. Donovan shook her head. "It's just not right…treating that poor girl like Cinderella…"
"I promise you, Jessica genuinely enjoys cooking," Spencer spoke up. "She knows she can ask for help if she needs it, but I doubt she will. If you try to interfere in her holiday preparations, she will argue you right back out of the kitchen."
"Besides, if you're so worried about imposing on her, the least you could do is let her hide away in there," Maeve added. "It gives her a socially acceptable excuse not to talk to the guests."
Mrs. Donovan opened her mouth, reconsidered, and closed it again. Mr. Donovan laughed. "Well, when you put it that way, I'm game to leave her alone and get a good meal out of the deal." He turned to Spencer. "So, any interesting cases lately?"
Spencer winced. "We just got back from a child killer case. I'd rather not talk about that today." He glanced at Jessica, who was stirring two sauces at once.
"You know what, how about you teach us some more sign language," Mrs. Donovan suggested. "How do I thank Jessica for this lovely meal?"
"Thank you, that was a lovely meal," Maeve demonstrated.
Jessica was pleasantly surprised when the Donovans complimented her meal in ASL. If they kept this up, she wouldn't mind more holidays with them.
A few weeks later, Spencer let Jessica and Maeve know that the team was on their way back from Los Angeles. Jessica responded. "Let's hope you're home tonight. I finally persuaded Gideon to come over and let Maeve and me teach him Hearts. The game's always better with four players."
Spencer frowned. "Aren't you still in the middle of finals?"
"I don't have any in the morning, and I need a break. I'm sure there's something in psychology about the human mind needing to relax at times…and no, that's not an invitation for you to elaborate. Advanced psychology lessons are exactly the sort of thing I'm trying to avoid."
"Then why bring it up?" Spencer asked, confused.
"Because I'm trying to explain myself, but I also figure you can come up with a better explanation than I could."
Spencer gave up trying to follow Jessica's logic. "Okay. We're crossing the entire country and three time zones, so we might be a little late, but I'll get there as soon as I can."
"I'd make cookies, but I do have a final this afternoon," Jessica replied.
"It's fine," Spencer assured.
Half an hour later, Spencer sent another text. "Change of plans. A case just came up in Kansas City, so we won't be home tonight. Sorry."
The new case ended up leading back to an incident that was uncomfortably similar to Spencer's own schooldays, and he had to work very hard to keep his thoughts from straying down dark paths. He arrived home intending to seek a distraction with Maeve, but to his surprise, he found Gideon in the living room and pizza on the coffee table.
"What's going on?" Spencer asked.
"We decided to postpone Hearts until you could be here with us," Gideon explained.
"And celebrate the end of finals," Jessica added.
"But what about your night off?" Spencer asked.
"We played poker instead," Jessica replied with a shrug.
"I wanted to play War, but I was outvoted," Maeve complained.
"There's no skill involved in War," Gideon retorted. "You play whatever card is on top of your deck, and the winner is determined by luck of the draw."
"Which makes it an excellent game for giving your mind a break!" Maeve argued.
"I didn't need that big of a break," Jessica insisted. "What's the fun in winning if it wasn't actually anything you did?"
"Once all the cards have been seen, you can calculate exactly who will win," Spencer added.
Maeve rolled her eyes. "You could. The rest of us wouldn't know unless you told us, which I'll thank you not to do."
"And it doesn't matter, because we already agreed to play Hearts tonight," Jessica pointed out.
"We might want to finish eating first," Gideon suggested, looking pointedly at Jessica's sauce-covered fingers.
Maeve laughed. "Is that the Deaf equivalent of talking with your mouth full?"
Jessica shrugged. "No, signing while holding utensils would be more like the Deaf equivalent of talking with your mouth full. As you can see, I am not eating with utensils."
"So, signing with your hands covered in sauce is your way of being polite?" Maeve joked.
Gideon looked over at Spencer, a glint of humor in his eyes. "What kind of manners have you been teaching her, young man?"
Spencer shrugged. "I defer to her expertise on the subject of Deaf manners." He headed into the kitchen to wash his hands.
"Mark it on your calendar," Maeve said in a stage whisper. "Spencer Reid just deferred to someone else's expertise."
"I do that all the time," Spencer said defensively, joining them around the coffee table. "Despite what people seem to think, I don't actually know everything, and there are plenty of other experts I can learn from."
Jessica handed him a plate with two slices of pizza. "Your lesson for tonight is that pizza is delicious. Now, eat."
"I already knew that," Spencer protested.
"Then why aren't you eating?" Jessica challenged.
"Because I am not Deaf and I am therefore making sure I don't talk with my mouth full."
Maeve laughed. "Okay, everybody shut up so Spencer can eat."
Garcia enlisted Jessica to help her put up Christmas decorations around the BAU. Once they'd emptied several boxes, they sat down in Garcia's office for a snack and a rest. A few minutes later, Garcia suddenly began rummaging in her purse and pulled out a card. "Here, I've been meaning to give this to you guys."
"Thanks." Jessica took the card, noticing that it seemed a little thicker than a standard Christmas card. She opened it somewhat warily, but nothing happened. It was a relatively generic card with a message about decking the halls.
Garcia abruptly smacked herself in the forehead, startling Jessica. "I can't believe I just did that," Garcia signed.
"Did what?" Jessica asked, confused.
"I reprogrammed the card to play the theme from the original Halloween movie," Garcia explained. "And then I tried to play the prank on the only Deaf person I know!"
Jessica looked back at the card, beginning to realize why it felt so thick, though she was still confused. "How do you program a paper Christmas card?"
"It's got a little speaker inside," Garcia explained. "Not my invention, musical greeting cards have been a thing for a little while now. Reid could probably tell you exactly when they were invented…but anyway, I bought a card that's supposed to play Deck the Halls, and I swapped out the music."
Jessica shrugged. "Still sounds like a Christmas carol to me."
Garcia frowned at her. "How could anything 'sound' like a Christmas carol to you?"
"Christmas carols don't sound like anything to me, and this card doesn't sound like anything to me, therefore it sounds like a Christmas carol to me." Jessica smirked.
"So, I suppose Fourth of July fireworks sound like Christmas carols to you too?"
"Exactly!" Jessica agreed happily. "But hey, maybe you should let me try playing the card prank on people. I'll pretend I had no idea there was anything weird about it, and we can see how long it takes people to realize I'm lying."
Garcia's eyes lit up. "You are a devious mastermind. I love you."
The cousins, Maeve and the Donovans ended up coming up with a new plan for Christmas that year: the Donovans visited for Christmas Eve dinner, and then the cousins and Maeve spent Christmas Day with the LaMontagnes. Everyone was satisfied with this arrangement…especially Henry, because it meant three extra people were bringing gifts on Christmas Day.
Early in the new year, Rossi decided to host a big birthday dinner for Jessica on the weekend before her birthday. The whole team came, and for once, they were able to keep Jessica out of a kitchen in which food was actively being cooked. Rossi was relieved; he did not dispute Jessica's cooking skills, but he personally preferred to cook solo.
At long last, food had been served, and Jessica learned an interesting detail about the team's work week. "Wait, so you think that entire sexual harassment seminar was being held because of Derek and Penelope?"
"Yeah, they really weren't even being subtle about it," JJ replied.
Jessica turned to the two BAU members in question. "Did you two not learn your lesson after the whole thing with Strauss on the phone?"
"Hey, I let her know when she's on speaker," Morgan replied defensively. "But I'm not gonna let some bureaucrat dictate the terms of my relationship with my baby girl."
Jessica frowned. "What about in the bullpen? I've noticed you guys don't exactly censor yourselves in front of me, but I figured that was just because I was Deaf…"
Morgan and Garcia shared an awkward look. "We do flirt in the BAU…" Garcia admitted.
Jessica rolled her eyes. "And in the nearly nine years you guys have known me, have you never noticed that I always turn away or grab a book when you start talking dirty? Just because I accept your weird flirty platonic relationship, that doesn't mean I want to watch you talk dirty with each other. And it's my understanding that hearing people can't ignore that kind of thing as easily as I can."
"She does make a good point," Hotch chimed in. "I don't mind you two flirting in private, but I would really appreciate it if you kept it out of public places. The BAU does have a reputation to maintain."
"Since when do you care about office politics?" Morgan complained.
"He has to, it's his job," Rossi retorted. "And as amusing as I often find your banter, I have to concur with him on this."
"I don't care what other people think about us!" Morgan insisted.
"Do you care if you make them uncomfortable?" Jessica challenged. "Seriously, does the phrase 'get a room' mean anything to you?"
"No one here is judging you," Blake spoke up. "But there's a time and a place for certain things."
"Yes!" Jessica agreed. "You don't see me driving to Quantico and randomly hug-bombing you when you're in the middle of a case. It doesn't mean I don't want to hug you, it just means I recognize it's not a good time for that."
Garcia turned to Morgan. "Compromise. We still flirt, just not when there are non-BAU peeps in the room." She lowered her voice seductively. "My lair will always be a safe flirting place."
"Fine," Morgan relented. "But bear in mind that this is a room full of 'BAU peeps', hot mama."
"Technically, Jessica is not a 'BAU peep'," Reid pointed out, noticing that Jessica had become extremely interested in her plate. "And this is her celebration."
"All right. Enough flirting!" Rossi announced. He waved for Jessica's attention. "So tell us more about your college friends."
Jessica perked up. "So, Mateo is a math major and Eve is an English major…"
On Monday morning, Jessica's friends all converged on her in the parking lot. "Happy 21st!" Mateo announced.
"You are now old enough to legally drink," Lydia added.
Jessica frowned. "Yeah, but I'm not going to."
"You're not?" Lydia repeated incredulously.
Jessica gave her a very stern look. "There will be no alcohol when celebrating my birthday, understood? Just because I can drink, that doesn't mean I want to. And if anyone even thinks about spiking any of my drinks, that person is no longer my friend. End of story."
Everyone looked slightly taken aback. "Damn. Do you honestly think any of us would do that to you?" Jeffrey asked, mildly offended.
"Well, it did happen at our junior prom back in high school," Eve recalled. "I thought it made the night more interesting, but a lot of the parents disagreed."
Jessica glared at her. "It's one thing to get drunk by choice. I got drunk and it was emphatically not by choice."
"So now you're just swearing off alcohol for the rest of your life?" Lydia asked skeptically.
Jessica sighed. "I swore off alcohol before that. Let's just say I have a relative who's had…issues."
Mateo frowned. "Does this have something to do with why your aunt's in an institution?"
"None of your business," Jessica snapped.
Her friends all shared an awkward look. Then Jeffrey cleared his throat. "Anyway…have a very happy birthday." He handed her a horse-themed charm bracelet.
"Happy birthday," Eve agreed. She handed Jessica a pair of horse-themed earrings. Mateo handed Jessica a horse-themed notebook and Lydia gave her a horse-themed water bottle.
"Thanks," Jessica replied, mood considerably lighter.
Reid had planned to take February 5th off as usual…but then the team got called in to deal with a spree killer in Cleveland, and Rossi was doing something in Los Angeles, so Reid had to go in. Jessica spent the morning growing increasingly stressed, until finally she told all her professors she was sick and she returned to Maeve's office.
"Can we go home, please?" Jessica begged.
"Does something really happen every year?" Maeve asked worriedly.
"No, but that doesn't mean I want to take chances," Jessica responded.
"I think we're about due a break," Maeve replied. "And besides, when you think about it, for the past two years, it wasn't so much that something went wrong on February 5th—Diane Turner had been stalking me for weeks already, and my mom had relapsed the summer before the wedding. So how about we call around and make sure nobody's been hiding any big problems?"
"Call around all you want," Jessica retorted. "But there was absolutely nothing wrong with my parents before they spun out on black ice and were pronounced dead at the scene."
"I'm sorry." Maeve gave Jessica a quick hug. "But let's be proactive. This year, we are not letting this date beat us!"
After contacting everyone they could think of, no one seemed to have anything worrisome going on. The team wrapped up their case and flew back in the evening, so Jessica and Maeve went to Quantico to greet them. Nobody was surprised when Jessica grabbed Reid in a very tight hug.
"What's the verdict?" Morgan asked. "Any terrible doom this year?"
"Doesn't look like it," Maeve replied.
"Great. Now we can all go home," Blake stated.
"Actually, there's this Korean film festival in Georgetown I was thinking of—"
"You are coming home," Maeve interrupted her husband. "It's been a long day."
"Yes, it has," JJ agreed, with a rather blatant yawn. "I will see you all tomorrow." She gathered up her stuff and headed to the elevator.
"Have a great night, everyone," Maeve stated, taking Reid's hand and dragging him toward the elevator as well.
Jessica followed them. They boarded the elevator along with JJ, who seemed more interested in her phone than in conversation. Except that she also seemed reluctant to use her phone with other people in the elevator. In fact, JJ just seemed distracted in general, which worried Jessica.
"You okay?" Jessica signed.
"Yes, fine," JJ signed quickly. The elevator doors opened, and she made her escape.
Jessica turned to Reid. "Has she been like that all day?"
Reid frowned. "Now that you mention it, she had this phone call earlier…it looked like it was something serious, but as soon as I walked up to her, she said 'Mommy will be home soon', as if she were talking to Henry."
"I hope she really was just talking to Henry," Jessica signed worriedly.
A/N: I actually was going to give the characters a year off from terrible doom...then I noticed the original air date of 200. Doom it is!