Breakfast in the morning was oatmeal, and it was pretty awful. It was both watery and lumpy. So, Jeremy was smushing the lumps and mixing them into the water part, one at a time, hoping anything still raw would be at least partially cooked by the hot, while his brothers discussed the day's work they hoped to do.
A steady rain was ticking against the roof and windows. That meant the work would be messy and slippy, so Jason probably wouldn't let him do anything useful today, even if it stopped raining.
Jason and Joshua finished their talk and applied themselves to their portions of the breakfast.
"J-jason? Are you afraid?"
Jason looked surprised. He swallowed his mouthful and answered, "Not at the moment." After speaking he immediately refilled his mouth.
Josh sniggered. "I guess breakfast is better than bedtime."
"No time to think," Jason disagreed.
"No, ever," Jeremy said, ignoring them.
"Of course," Jason answered readily. Well, he had been expecting something like this during the days leading up to the festival. "Everyone's afraid sometimes."
"Even Josh?" Jeremy cut a look at Josh who put up his hands.
"Yes, even Josh. Fear can be a good thing, Jeremy. It helps us plan ahead, and do you know anybody better at planning than Joshua? That's why he's so good at it."
"Traitor," Josh said.
"M-mr. Stempel," Jeremy answered Jason's question (to Jason's confusion.)
"Oh, I'm going to get you for that!" Josh threatened, laughing, gathering up the breakfast dishes.
"Is that why he's so-so-so so him?"
"More likely than not," was Jason's answer. The question had surprised him. He'd never given much thought as to why Aaron was so Stempel-y, and he looked at his youngest brother with an inkling of respect. It would certainly explain a lot about the man.
"What's he afraid of? Losing his money?" Josh demanded.
"N-no." Jeremy shook his head. "I d-d-don't know the w-word. He l-likes being imp-portant."
"Conceit?" Josh suggested. "Vanity? I still vote for plain old greed."
Jeremy ignored him. "I don't l-like it when y-you don't th-think I'm imp-portant, and I know you love me. I g-guess if you don't have nobody to love you when you aren't important, it would b-be scary. Y-you might even t-try harder to r-remind every-body of you b-being important."
"You just might," Jason agreed. "Do you have any more questions, before we set out?"
"Uh-huh. Wh-when you're sc-cared, what d-do you d-do?"
"I'll have to think about that one. I'm not sure. Josh makes a list."
"Of what? The scary th-things?"
"Of what I can do and what I can't. Then I do what I need to be prepared for whatever happens. Get your rain gear on, we've got to get going."
"What if you can't do nothing?" Jeremy asked while he complied with the order.
"Then I try to figure out what to do if the scary thing does happen anyway. And after that I try not to think about it."
"Huh."
They headed out the door, with Jason shutting the door behind them.
The day went as Jeremy had expected. Sharpening things, making coffee, and keeping a fire lit for anyone who needed to warm up or dry out a bit. Bleah.
And Jason told him not to wander around because it was muddy.
Jeremy looked at him in astonishment.
Jason hastily swallowed his coffee and strode back to the worksite. It wasn't that he didn't know it was always muddy, but he didn't have the time or the patience for being called out on the fact.
Besides, the boy had given him enough to think about for one day.
Including why he had asked that question this morning. It probably was associated with the funeral yesterday, but he hadn't shown any fear during that. He hadn't seemed to be having bad dreams, either, although maybe Jason had slept too hard to have noticed. (He didn't think so. And if he had, Josh would have noticed and said something.)
When he rejoined the work crew, he told Josh,"I told Jeremy to stay put because it's muddy."
Josh gaped at him, very much as Jeremy had done. "Did he laugh at you?"
"I left. Quickly."
They (and their crew) all laughed at that and got back to work until the rain intensified to the point where they couldn't.
"Nice of it to wait until dark," Jason commented.
"Nice of it to make it darker faster," Josh grumbled. "Let's warm up and go home. And play Twenty Questions, I suppose."
"Sounds like you've got our evening planned."
Josh glared at him, then laughed, and wrapped an arm around his big brother. "Yep, that's me. Me and Aaron Stempel. I'm gonna choke that boy one of these days."
"Be sure he's wrong before you do. He can sure come up with some startling ideas."
"We gotta stop letting him think so much."
After supper, after the dishes were done and the place wiped down,and the younger two getting ready for bed, Jason couldn't wait any longer.
"Jeremy, when do we not think you're important? Surely you know better than that."
"That's where you're going to start?"
"That's the most important thing I heard. Jeremy?"
Jeremy's face was changing expressions. "N-not g-good with w-words. You d-don't listen to me. S-sometimes. L-lots of t-times. Y-you j-just t-tell me th-things. 'G-go to b-bed. M-mop the f-floor. P-put away the b-books. Tend the f-fire, p-please; we're b-busy.' Alla the t-time. Alla m-my whole l-life. I d-don't wanna g-go to b-bed alla the time. It's c-cold and scary."
"Your BED is scary?"
Jason gestured for Josh to be quiet, his attention all on their youngest member.
"D-don't w-want to m-mop the f-floor. Least not until I got b-bigger than the m-mop. D-don't m-mind it n-now. J-josh don' want me – or anybody – touching the b-books, so how'm I supposed to p-put th-them away? An' if I have to g-go to b-bed where it's c-cold, how come I have to t-tend the f-fire for you to b-be b-busy, an' k-keep you warm while I'm n-not? And that's j-just a few s-samples. Th-there's other stuff."
"That's quite a list," Jason said, once he was sure Jeremy had finished speaking. "Have you had these grievances for a while?"
"Forever. Y-you th-think I'm a l-little b-boy who c-can't d-do anyth-thing and who d-doesn't kn-now anyth-thing and you j-just b-boss m-me around like I – like I'm – l-like I'm n-not a p-part of us unless y-you w-want to ask me something or you're t-too busy f-fighting w-w-with each other to h-hear me, but when you stop y-yelling, y-you th-think of stuff I s-said or sh-showed you while y-you're yelling."
"I see."
"I c-can sh-show you I c-can w-work, and th-think, and h-have ideas, and d-do stuff, but you d-don't listen!"
"I see," Jason said again. "You do know you are important, don't you? Even when we don't act like it?"
"Uh-huh." Jeremy nodded vigorously.
They were all silent for a few minutes.
"We'll have to pay attention to that – to you. We'll have to figure out a way for you to let us know when you're feeling ignored or talked over. Especially when we're arguing, I don't know how we'll do that without turning it on you. Do you have any ideas?"
Jeremy grinned. "I c-could stomp on your f-foot."
"Not when I'm already yelling at Josh, I hope. I'm not very – tractable when I'm already mad."
"He could kick you in the shins, like he did everybody when we first moved to town. That would remind us how grown up he is now, I'm sure."
Jeremy glared at Josh, and Jason shook his head. "Morelike how he isn't, and I don't think he wants to remind us of that."
"It's s-scary when you y-yell at each other anyway. I'd prob'ly rather hide."
"Under your scary bed? Why isn't under the bed scary but in it is?"
Jeremy shrugged. Darned if he knew. It just wasn't.
Another silence fell.
"Do you want to talk about being afraid?" Jason asked. "I'm still not sure ho9w to answer that, but I could give it a try. I think we covered Josh's strategies well enough."
Josh growled.
Jeremy thought about it a moment before shaking his head.
"In that case, I think we should all get to bed. We had a busy day today and I'm hoping for another tomorrow. If that's okay with you, young man?"
Jeremy grinned, impulsively hugged Jason before burrowing into his own bed. "G-g'night, b-brothers."
"Good night." Jason once again turned out the light and the three of them settled into content.