During the ensuing conversation, Jason kept a close eye on both his brothers. More Jeremy than Josh, sure, but he was worried – no, concerned, about Josh as well. Josh was usually practical, but this was, as he'd said, a heavy topic. Hell, it bothered him; why wouldn't it bother his much younger brothers?

No man wanted to come face to face with his own mortality. (At least not any sane man.) He, Jason, was no whole time-slowing-down thing was true, too. He'd seen the waves of water and logs headed his way and been unable to move himself out of the way.

He had seen it coming, and the only thought (other than moving himself away) had been of his brothers. What would happen to them? What would they do?

What they had done was huddle together, alone, in the town cabin, waiting for him; waiting for word. They hadn't gone to friends – and they did have them, even among the adults – nor shared their worry and fears with anyone but each other. And even that they did more by avoiding the subject than addressing it.

He had failed them.

Not every man got a second chance in a situation like this, and having the rare opportunity, he wasn't going to repeat his failure.

Which brought them to here and now, addressing a subject that even he shouldn't have to face up to. Not yet, anyway. Sometimes he forgot he wasn't all that old himself.

So, he started telling them. Financial matters would be overseen by the bank. Personal – well, if no one objected, Lottie would be their guardian. If propriety objected to that, Ben and Emilky Perkins would stand in as such, until Josh, if he was a survivor, got his feet under him, so to say, and could take responsibility. Or until Jeremy was able to stand on his own. The paperwork was in the bank, and in the family Bible.

"Should be in the firebox," Josh said.

"Good idea," Jason agreed.

Jeremy just listened without speaking. He was doing a lot of thinking, though. What Jason said about time-slowing-down, he knew that was right. He'd felt that way when he fell out of the tree. It was a very strange feeling.

What he'd said about them staying home with just each other was true, too. Only he said it wrong. They didn't 'huddle together' like little birds shivering in a storm.

They'd just been waiting. Josh had explained that that was really all they could do. It didn't mean they hadn't been thinking about when they got more information.

If Jason was okay, they wouldn't have to do nothing. If Jason was hurt, they'd have to take care of him. (And that would depend on what kind of hurt it was.) If it was worser than that, well, they knew what they'd have to do in that case. They'd already done it twice, hadn't they? (Even if Jeremy hadn't understood most of it the first time around.)

When they found out what they'd have to do, they would do it. With help from their friends.

But they didn't need any help for waiting. They could do that by themselves, together.

And that had been what they had done.

Jason hadn't failed them.

He had just failed to tell them about 'it.'

"J-jason? Why didn't you?"

"Why didn't I what?" Jason snapped.

"T-tell us you w-were okay."

"How was I supposed to do that?" Had his brothers lost their minds? Maybe this HAD been a bad idea.

"A t-telegraph would have w-worked. Wouldn't it?"

"They don't have those on the river!"

"Y-you didn't c-come home b-by the river."

Josh shot Jeremy a look. "Yeah, wait a minute. You did finish the shipment and confirm it, and waited for payment."

"That was done by wire. I didn't go anywhere to do anything."

"You couldn't have sent your brothers a wire while you were waiting for the payment confirmation?"

"I – . It–. Oh hell!" Jason smacked the table. "What was I thinking? I never even thought of that!"

"What were you thinking?"

"Getting everything done so I could get home to you two. Nothing on my mind but getting done and getting home. That was – rather stupid, wasn't it?"

"Mmm."

"Uh-huh."

Jason ran his hands through his hair. "I'm sorry, boys. I didn't even think of it."

"Some kind of shock?" Josh suggested. He went to the cupboard.

Jason rubbed his face for a moment. "I suppose. I don't – nothing like this – that – has ever happened. I – don't know what to do about it, besides apologize. And I am sorry. I – I didn't want you to worry any more than was necessary. Damn."

Josh put a glass and a bottle in front of Jason, who looked at it and laughed ruefully.

"I've heard it's good for shock," Josh teased.

"Can't argue with that." Jason tossed off the drink. "I didn't even think of that."

"Just getting home?"

"Yes. Any ideas about not letting it happen again?"

"D-don't go away ag-gain."

"I don't think that will work." Jason crossed to the cupboard, took out two more glasses, and filled all three. "Drink up, brothers. We've all had a shock tonight. I CAN be stupid."

"We already know that," Jeremy said briefly, and Jason knuckled the top of his head in passing.

"We're done for tonight," Jason said. "We can bring it up again if we need to, but, for now, this topic is CLOSED."

"Now THAT is something to drink to." Josh raised his glass.

Jason sat up later than his brothers, writing the letters he felt he needed to. Writing letters was difficult. He wished he could speak to the people involved instead of using ink and paper. Words just flowed differently from his mouth than from his hands.

He sealed the last letter, set it aside, and capped the ink bottle.

It had been a long day, but everything that needed done was done. At least for now. No doubt tomorrow would have its own challenges. It seemed that every day did.

He sat at the table with his head in his hands. Shock or no shock, how had he done that to his brothers?

So stupid.

Jeremy slipped under Jason's arm. "Not stupid," he said. "Jus' human. An' that's okay. We like you being like us."

Jason put his arm around the boy's waist and pulled him closer. "When did you get so wise?"

Jeremy leaned into his brother. "When you said things had to be done."

"Maybe I was wrong."

"Maybe you were right."

"Why aren't you asleep?"

"B'cause I got things that got to be done, an' I don't know how."

"Anything I can help you with?"

"You already did."

"How?"

"You came home." Jeremy threw his arms around Jason's neck for a quick hug and ran across the room and dived back into his bed, laughing to himself.

Jason laughed, too, and shook his head, with a smile.

He could sleep now. (Like them? He wondered with a smile.)

7777777

A few days later, the brothers spent the day preparing to return to work; getting supplies, contacting their men, and packing their personal gear.

Jason was ready to pull the tarp over their load. "Jeremy, you sure you don't want to take anything? I don't want to have to rearrange things in the morning."

Jeremy shook his head, started to speak, turned abruptly and went inside.

Joshua and Jason looked at one another, and followed him.

"What's on your mind, Jeremy? You've been doing some thinking the last few days. I thought you'd be in a hurry to get back to the mountain."

"Uh-huh. But – m-maybe not."

"YOU want to stay in TOWN?" Josh was incredulous.

Jeremy shook his head.

"But you just said–" Josh cut off his protest at Jason's head shake.

"Explain," Jason said.

Jeremy handed Jason a cup of coffee and poured one for himself and sat down at the table. "I been th-thinking."

"We've figured out that part," Josh snapped. "What we want to know is WHAT you're thinking."

"I'm try'n ta t-t-tell ya."

"Go ahead," Jason ordered, with a frown at Josh, who didn't see it because he was getting his own coffee.

"I w-want –" Jeremy shook his head to correct himself. "I th-think I should stay here 'n g-go to school. At least for now."

"YOU!" Josh yelped.

"Joshua," Jason reprimanded. "Do you expect to stay here by yourself?" he asked Jeremy.

Jeremy shook his head and managed a tiny smile. "I could. But I d-don't think you will l-let me."

"Not for the whole term, no. You're right about that. What put this in your head?"

"W-well, I do want – I d-didn't – I-I-I-I " he shook his head in frustration.

"Alright Jeremy. Stop. Take a deep breath. And another one. Now. Think about what you're trying to say. When you're ready, you'll tell us."

"Or I'll choke it out of you."

Jeremy laughed at Josh's outburst.

Josh laughed, too.

Jeremy turned to Jason. "It– I – g-going to s-school isn't f-finished. It ain't – I'm n-not not d-done. And I c-can't e'splain it, but it – it f-feels like I n-need to d-do it. Like it n-needs done."

"I see," Jason said, but wasn't sure he saw anything.

Well, maybe a few things.

Jeremy was wanting to hold on to some of the independence he had gained over this eventful winter. That was, probably, reasonable. At least somewhat. He must want it badly, to go to school and live in town for it.

Jason made his decision. "We'll try it out. We won't be doing a lot of work for a few more weeks, so Josh or I will come home at night, unless we can't, for whatever reason."

He watched Jeremy's brightening expression, nodded, before adding, "I'd better not be hearing tales of you when I come into town. Understand?"

Jeremy nodded, trying to look more sober, but still clearly delighted.