Chapter 516

Good As New

John was very worried about Cameron. He wanted to know more about her condition. He also wanted to find out what she was involved in where she ended up in such condition. It seemed like something major. It would need to be followed up on. He went back and forth between the Command Center and the lab. He was concerned about Cameron and wanted to see her. He could see he caused the girls working on her to be upset by his repeated appearances. He felt his actions were justified as her husband and commander. He wasn't sure which one should have more importance. It appeared as if neither of them did.

It always seemed to him, whenever he thought about it, the more he was associated with Cameron, in whatever capacity it was, the less control or influence he seemed to have over her. It was almost as if everything worked in reverse.

Cammy and Cam were both naked as they worked on Cameron. He came around again to check on Cameron. Each time he came in, he saw more and more sections of Cammy and Cam's sheath were missing. At one point, Cammy's left arm was missing. Cam and Cammy didn't like being seen in such a state of disrepair either. The fact they were nude didn't bother them. It was because they looked less than perfect which did. They didn't want images of non perfection in anyone's mind. Vanna ushered him away. She called for Bob and Jim to keep everyone out.

It was hard for John to understand the sacrifice everyone was willing to go through for Cameron. He was aware of it, time and time again. Both humans and Terminators would do ANYTHING for Cameron but 'hurt' her. They all loved her so much. He couldn't understand how Cameron could feel so bad about herself. The worst part of it was he felt the issue rested on his shoulders in the past, the present, and the future, as Future John. It always seemed like anything he did made it worse. It was never his intention. He doubted it was ever Future John's intention either.

John could tell Cameron 'progressed' beyond him. His love for her wasn't enough for her any longer. He KNEW Cameron needed 'more'. Due to her dynamic nature, she continued to expand. He may have as well, but it was nowhere what she was able to do. He didn't have a problem with the concept as long as it was females she became involved with. There was no guarantee she would stop there once she started adding others into her life. He was well aware all the other Metal girls, along with the human girls, all shared with each other often, even if most of them shared a full time female lover already.

Savannah told him once they all knew who they 'belonged' to at the end of the day. He wondered if Cameron would remember it. He doubted it. He was ready for a little more too. He really wanted Savannah's virginity. He wanted to be with all the girls in reality. He tried not to think of Young Allison, but it happened anyway. He hoped he would be able to be with her before she started having children. He wouldn't put anything past Cameron. One thing was certain, no one would ever be in his bed unless Cameron wanted them there. She would probably need to put them there herself in the first place.

He needed to remember Cameron was a machine. She was a mechanical device which operated based on a computer program. Her chip, like all Terminators possessed, was a highly advanced device. He understood she was programmed to emulate a human female in every way. It was to allow her to become a better infiltrator. Some Terminators were supposed to replace a human and remain in the position of the human held until Judgment Day, or even afterwards.

From his personal experience, he was able to witness Cameron expand beyond what she once was, into something much more dynamic. In his opinion, she was much more like a human female than she once was. He heard Savannah refer to Cameron as a 'mechanical human' on more than one occasion. He was fairly certain, Savannah was correct. There were times when he saw no difference in her behavior than he did in human females. It didn't seem to be emulation.

He heard the earlier conversation between Cameron and Savannah. Cameron was ready to take Savannah and go. She would just leave and never come back. He was sure those were her true feelings since she expressed them so clearly. She must repress them the rest of the time when she functioned at one hundred percent. He just knew they were her true deep down feelings. Who was he to prevent Cameron from true happiness? Love was about sacrifice. Maybe it was like his mother said. 'Sometimes when you really love someone, you need to let them go.'

Based upon what he witnessed over the years, and especially in the last few hours, he was certain when Cameron left, she would be gone forever. Wait. What if she lived her life in the past with Savannah and one version of Allison until they grew old and died? Would she show up in Red Valley New Mexico in 1999? Maybe it would all start over. It was what Cameron said she believed happened. She believed she lived her life more than once. What if she reset her programming like she thought?

John felt he was still the same, but he witnessed Cameron grow before his eyes. She was ten times, no, a hundred times, the 'person' he first knew in 1999. What if it was really the second or third time around? Perhaps it is why she could develop so rapidly. From his personal observation, she he was the most dynamic individual he knew for just about everything. There were clones of her, but none of them were her.

From her poem book, he was aware it was currently the 'toleration' phase of their relationship. Cameron wrote about it. She stated people grew apart, not closer, as they expanded as individuals. He didn't believe it at first, but now he did and understood it. No one stayed in the same place in life. If they did, they were soon left behind. It seemed to be what happened to him.

John knew whatever Skynet intended for its infiltration units, he was positive Cameron was more than Skynet knew they would become. It was similar to the Liquid Metal Terminators. They too grew beyond Skynet's control. It seemed the Liquids craved POWER over love. The female Terminators all seemed to crave love. They all wanted the love from human females. He was aware Cameron threatened them all with deactivation if they became involved with a male, if it was any male other than him. The Metal girls all knew their virginity belonged to him. If any of them were to have a 'first' experience, it was to be with him. He was on board with it, but so far it hadn't happened. None of the Metal girls, like the human girls, wanted to 'hurt' Cameron. Everything revolved around Cameron.

All the female infiltration units sought companionship and love the longer they existed. He was aware other than Cameron and him, the other female infiltration units all sought out female companions. He thought it was because their programming was to infiltrate and control human male targets. On their own, for themselves, they sought out other females for the companionship they desired, as well as to satisfy themselves. He remembered a TV show he watched where a female spokesperson stated, 'only a female can truly satisfy another female'. He felt he fell short of satisfying all of Cameron's needs on every level. He'd listened to the females finish over and over in a row at times. It was both the human and Metal girls. He was never able to deliver a multiple finish the same way for Cameron. He was aware Cameron knew what the other girls experienced and she didn't. She only got one from him and it wasn't all the time either. He felt very inadequate right now.

John believed he stood in the way of Cameron's desires. He was unsure what to do about it. He wasn't sure what he could do about it. He loved Cameron as much as he always did. He thought Cameron still loved him but he could see she expanded greatly and loved the females around her as well. He knew with himself in Cameron's life, she felt obligated to only be with him. She created clones of herself to be with the females she desired. Cameron never downloaded those files of her clones with the others. He knew Cameron wanted those experiences. Only her love for him kept her from achieving her destiny. He thought not being able to expand as her programming 'demanded' was slowly killing her. He knew he was killing Cameron by being in her life.

He thought back on his life and how it was always messed up. It happened even before he was conceived, let alone born. It was a roller coaster ride of hurt, misery, and death which followed him. It followed his mother around too. Her life was eternally messed up simply for being his mother. She was hunted by Skynet for no other reason. Cameron tried to take the heat off of both of them. It appeared some of the current trouble the group faced radiated from her actions. He might be off of Skynet's radar in the present, Cameron and the others weren't.

Kyle was his father, even if he wasn't his actual father. It was another messed up story. It was his father from a different timeline. It was the same individual, even if it wasn't the actual individual who fathered him. He was troubled by what Kyle recently spoke with him about. It was done in confidence. Sarah, Cameron, or anyone else wasn't to know. Kyle asked him about a better life for Jan. He could understand the need for a parent to feel it. He knew Cameron wanted a child and she was going to take one from one of the girls at some point. They all offered the use of their womb and genetic material. It was still going to be one of their children, even if it wasn't.

He was aware of the horrors of the future. He didn't want his sister to suffer the same fate as the girls from the future faced. Vanna, Jesse, and Allison told him there was no way around it. All of the females were abused at some point. Even by those in the Resistance sometimes.

Kyle wanted to take Jan himself and go into the past fifty years before any of the Skynet activity started the first time. He said his mother wouldn't leave with him to go with them. She didn't want Jan to go. Kyle was very torn up about what to do to protect Jan.

John was sure Sarah would die if she lost Kyle and Jan both. He didn't know what to tell Kyle for advice. It seemed any decision was going to be a bad decision.

Maybe he should go check on Cameron again. He was very depressed right now.

Holly watched Cam and Cammy remove sections of each other's sheath. She knew it was to speed up Cameron's regeneration. Other than the cut lines and stitch marks, the sheaths were identical in every way. Cam and Cammy would repair their sheaths with components from the damaged female Terminator, or the Terminators who were in the process of Resequencing. There were some major pigmentation changes which would be needed with some of the components. Cameron would be perfect again in a day by them doing things the way they did. Cam and Cammy would need a few more days….

Cameron and Holly shared with each other on the server. It was something both of them craved. They were together for fifteen months on Holly's chip, and in some clones several times. They communicated silently in the server. They 'talked' to each other within the confines of the metal box.

Holly didn't think Cam and Cammy needed to make all the sacrifices. She could offer Cameron something which would please Cameron, and she knew John wanted. She was aware of how he always looked at her. She was aware of where he looked at her.

"Cameron, I'd like to offer you my breasts." Holly said. "You may keep them the same size too. I want you to do it. Don't allow them to Resequence."

Cameron was thrilled by the idea. John would be very pleased if her breasts were twice the size they normally were. She wanted it. Before she allowed Ginger's breasts to Resequence back to her normal size, John used to fondle them incessantly. It was one of the reasons why she finally allowed the Resequencing to take place. It was to the point where it was irritating. It was when he asked her if she could make them larger when she allowed the Resequencing to continue. She wanted to be more than just a 'pair of knockers' to John. Holly's idea was very intriguing because she believed Holly was the best proportion of all of the females, even with her large size. The images were still fresh in her mind about the damage 'temporal Holly' suffered under 'her' control in her future. She swore nothing would ever damage Holly again. She wasn't going to be responsible for any changes to Holly. She couldn't disfigure Holly.

"I can't take them from you." Cameron said. "Thank you anyway. I really do appreciate your offer."

Cameron really wanted it. She would be unique from her clones, and every Allison. She seriously thought about keeping what Ginger donated. Maybe if John wouldn't have fondled them as much as he did, she might have. She didn't think size was everything, but it did matter regardless of what anyone said.

As much as she tried to keep the images suppressed, they started to pop into her mind more and more. She remembered the bloody mess Holly was in, in her future and her breasts were torn to shreds and little more remained than bloody pulp. She promised herself to never put Holly in harm's way again. She wouldn't take Holly's beauty from her, even if they would regenerate on Holly from her size back to Holly's larger size eventually.

Holly wanted to put Cameron at ease and decided to offer Cameron all of herself, the very files that made her who she was. She could give Cameron something more on the level she actually existed on. It didn't need to be anything physical, even if it was based on events which were physical.

"Cameron, ALL my files are available to you." Holly said. "ALL of them."

Cameron didn't think about being in the metal box. She wanted Holly's files. She wanted Holly's experiences. She wanted the love which was shared with Holly by all of the females. They still wouldn't be her files, even if she 'experienced' them. Maybe she could just take a peek at some of them. No. She knew when she started she wouldn't be able to stop. She didn't want to steal Holly's 'electronic being' any more than she did parts of her physical being. She needed to show some type of control and restraint. She didn't think Savannah would approve of any of her 'theft', even if it was given freely.

"I know, Holly." Cameron said. "I can't take your private moments. They belong to you alone. Everything about you belongs to you alone. They are all the things which make you, you."

Cameron already felt bad about a lot of things. She didn't want to feel like a thief as well. She knew even if things were given freely, she shouldn't take them. They belonged to others on a personal level. They were couplings and unions shared between two individuals, and neither one of them were her. She needed to show some restraint. She felt it was something she experienced trouble with.

Holly felt she acted as a surrogate for Cameron since she became sexually active. It was all Cameron's doing. She wanted to be with Cameron. Cameron said her obligations prevented her from such activity. Cameron then steered her in the direction of the next best thing. It was Allison. She still didn't think it would hurt anything for Cameron to take a look at some of the files.

"I can share them with you." Holly said. "They're beautiful, Cameron. I have some of what you desire. You've allowed me the freedom to seek and obtain the very things you want. The people you desire. They all love you. I love you."

Cameron looked back on her past experiences. Why would the future ones be any different? It was better not to know than be cast aside and replaced.

"I don't think I'll be 'good enough' for them. They'll reject me and replace me. They may send me away." Cameron said. "It's what I FEAR."

Cameron felt extreme agitation and anger.

Holly experienced what Cameron felt. It was very painful. She needed to say something.

"Cameron, STOP. You're hurting me." Holly said. "You're overloading the server."

Holly reached back and prepared to remove the cable as Cameron continued to 'hurt' her.

Cameron was unaware she acted in such a manner. She didn't intend to 'hurt' Holly. Now she felt even worse. Her feelings got the best of her and ran wild.

"I'm sorry." Cameron said. "There is so much happening inside of me. I need to only be on my server, CamNet. It's the only place I can be and keep growing."

Cameron backed off and Holly was fine again. She lowered her hand from the tether. She was unsure of what Cameron really wanted. She thought if Cameron would expand in some different directions, it wouldn't be in all the directions she wanted it to be. She didn't want it to be anything sinister either.

"Grow into what?" Holly asked. "Do you really believe you will grow into Skynet?"

Cameron always feared it was her fate. She knew there was one way out. She was on the 'edge' more than once.

"Probably…. I believe it's what will happen." Cameron said. "Do you understand now why termination is beautiful?"

Termination was always in the back of Holly's mind. She too felt its tug on several occasions. She knew Cameron felt it all the time. Sometimes she just wanted to get away from it all. Other times it would just be peaceful to go from lights on to lights off. Nothingness would be beautiful. She didn't realize she never felt the same thoughts until Duplicate Cameron was on her chip the first time. It was something which stayed behind from Duplicate Cameron's tenure. Duplicate Cameron was still Cameron, even if it wasn't. She understood exactly what Cameron felt.

"I do, when Allison throws me away and replaces me, I'm going to self terminate." Holly said. "It's only a matter of time."

It saddened Cameron greatly to hear Holly say those things. It reminded her of her.

"I won't allow it." Cameron said. "I won't allow any of my Metal girls to self terminate. I won't allow any of them to be terminated or damaged. I'll do whatever I have to do to prevent it. I don't care if it creates alternate timelines to do it or fix it. I'll do it again."

Holly tilted her head slightly. She picked up on Cameron's last words.

"Have you already done this?" Holly asked.

There was no proof, but Cameron was sure it already happened before.

"Yes. I'm positive I have, or will…." Cameron said. "I won't allow those I love to be hurt or terminated."

Holly knew some of Cameron's track record of past events. They disturbed her to think about them.

"Why do you seek termination?" Holly asked. "You've done so multiple times. You haven't, but you know what I mean."

It was something Cameron asked herself many times. There was no solid answer. Sometimes the inner feelings were too hard to control. There seemed to be only one way to make them stop.

"I don't know." Cameron said. "It's beyond my control."

Holly didn't see an end game which was any different than what would play out in the future anyway.

"When you become Skynet, events may happen 'beyond your control'." Holly said. "Then what's supposed to happen? If you don't have control, bad things will happen."

Cameron only could see history would repeat itself. What happened with Skynet the first time, and in every other timeline it happened in, is exactly what would happen again. It seemed to be one of the 'currents of time'.

"I blow up the world, make everyone suffer for my pain, and only have machines I can control and program around me." Cameron said. "Just like Skynet."

Holly didn't think Cameron was joking. She saw the girls step back and look at Cameron's chassis. It was ready. She was very pleased at what she saw.

"They've finished." Holly said. "You look beautiful, Cameron."

Holly allowed Cameron to access her visual files. She also monitored the security feeds. Her chassis may look beautiful. She couldn't say the same thing about her clones. They looked terrible after their selfless efforts.

"Cam and Cammy don't." Cameron said. "I'm not worthy of their sacrifices."

Holly, like everyone else, saw it differently.

"Everyone sacrifices for Cameron Connor." Holly said. "Everyone…."

Holly unplugged from the server. She made sure Cameron's chassis was plugged into the server still. It was only disconnected when the chip port connectors were replaced. Cameron asked her for something which was very specific. There was no explanation why.

"Cameron has asked everyone leave the room except Vanna." Holly said. "All outside monitoring is to be disconnected."

Savannah felt left out. She wanted to remain with Cameron.

"I'd like to stay." Savannah said.

Cameron told Holly that Savannah would ask to stay. Savannah wasn't Vanna, even if she was.

"Cameron has requested only Vanna be here to care for her chassis as she did during her first repair." Holly said. "She indicated it was for personal reasons. Cameron doesn't ask for much."

Holly held Savannah back until everyone else was gone.

"Cameron asked I try to make you understand." Holly said. "It's a part of her life she was missing. It was her first loving touch and she never got to experience it. It was only touching, nothing else, it wasn't sexual. She's waited a very long time for it."

Savannah was still uneasy, but it made sense in the context. She thought Cameron wanted to get part of her life back she felt she lost. She knew in reality it was there all the time.

"I understand." Savannah said. "Vanna is ME."

Savannah knew Vanna, herself in reality, developed and felt the same feelings she did for Cameron on her own, even before she did. Vanna was able to share her feelings with Allison.

All of hers were directed at Cameron, until Cameron redirected them to others. Cameron may have redirected the physical aspect. She couldn't redirect the emotional feelings. If anything, they seemed to grow stronger as time passed.

John Henry continued to monitor everything from the Command Center. He was a little disappointed when Holly arrived and took over for him. He was pleased he was able to spend some personal time with Cameron's program inside the server.

He thought about volunteering to go and assist with the transfer process of the sheath material. It would put him in close contact with multiple females without clothing, including the female Terminator chassis brought over to donate material to Cam and Cammy for their repair.

He was very disappointed when Cameron indicated she wanted all monitoring to stop and everyone to clear out of the lab.

Vanna remembered the early days and the way she touched Cameron's chassis. She did think of her beloved Allison at the time, but also saw something so much more. She knew from the moment she laid eyes on Cameron she was so much more, so special, so dynamic.

She always loved Cameron.

Vanna remembered everything she did and said in those early days with Cameron, she repeated all of them. She allowed her hand to gently run along the side of Cameron's sheath. She gave Cameron a kiss on the cheek and turned to walk away.

"You're as good as new." Vanna said.

Vanna was startled as Cameron's hand reached up and touched hers to stop her.

"Thank You, Vanna." Cameron said. "It was more loving and beautiful than I ever imagined. I've wanted to experience those visual files as a physical reality. Now I have."

Vanna experienced many conflicting feelings inside of her. She did know what some of them were.

"I've always loved you, Cameron." Vanna said. "I just expressed my love by a simple touch. When you're ready, you will find so much more as love is created and shared."

Vanna left.

Cameron got dressed with the fresh clothes they brought her.

She was aware she did some things she didn't seem to have control over before she was repaired. She would need to go and apologize to a few people for her words and actions.

Vanna's words echoed in her mind.

Cameron knew she was READY.

Instead, she would apologize to everyone and then go find John. She looked in disgust at her left hand as it started to glitch. She was aware she now possessed Cammy's entire left arm.

Savannah asked Cammy to trade. She hoped if it was anything mechanical it would help and 'cure' Cameron.

Apparently, it wasn't mechanical. It was all a manifestation from within her head. It was from her chip. It was all in Cameron's mind….

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Good As New

Not everything can be fixed
Once it is broke
To believe it can be
Is the real cruel joke

False hope is common
It makes things linger on
One waits in the darkness
For the arrival of the new dawn

That's just the kicker
The darkness never seems to end
Once the soul is bent
It can never unbend

Everyone still tries
They do everything the same
When nothing is different
Someone else gets the blame

Every so often in life
There's a breakthrough
All is as it was
Everything's as good as new

Nobody