Chapter 540

Pains

Holly returned the manned drone to the hangar. She helped to service and rearm it. She was in no hurry to face Cameron or Allison. She took her time and did as much as possible. She knew how the day was going to end for her. Maybe it was best to get it over with. It wasn't something she looked forward to, even if it was.

She was informed Cameron was rendered inoperative in the operation. It would probably fall on her shoulders. She knew it was her foolishness which caused her to be taken away from the operation. She was responsible for Allison's actions as well. If she would have remained at her post, Ally or Sheila would have piloted the manned drone. There would have been full coverage at the locations.

Holly knew Cameron wanted to speak with her, once she was functional again. She went to her now unused room. She straightened her room up and made sure everything was cleaned up and put away. She got everything ready for her punishment. She waited in the darkness as she sat on the bed. She replayed her files with Allison, both of them. She was totally captivated by Future Allison. It was HER Allison, but everything was 'different'. It was all better somehow, even though they were the same person.

She relived every moment of her life with Allison. She was lost deep in thought as every moment came to life and was relived, just as it happened the first time. Since she ran everything through her processor, it all happened in a fraction of the time it did in real time when it actually occurred. The majority of the files were all very positive. There were a few of them where they weren't. She tried not to dwell on those, but somehow she seemed to. She thought it was unfair how such a small percentage of events could seem to dominate The other events which were joyful and loving.

The bed moved slightly.

Holly jumped a little when someone sat next to her on the bed. She was lost deep in thought and hadn't noticed anyone else was in her room until they were next to her. She didn't need to look over to know who it was. There was only one person who it could be.

It was time to pay the 'Piper'.

They both lay back and stared at the ceiling in the darkness.

Holly felt her hand taken in another's hand.

They both lay there the same way for over an hour. No words were spoken. No words needed to be spoken.

Holly felt a gentle squeeze on her hand.

'Here it comes….' Holly thought.

Holly hoped deactivation and chip extraction would be swift. She wouldn't oppose it. At this point she welcomed it. She just wanted the peace of oblivion. She was glad it wouldn't be a public humiliation.

Young Allison cleaned up and went to her room. She could study, practice, or sleep. The choice was hers. She chose to study for an hour before going to sleep. She knew Anna would practice with her tomorrow anyway. It was more fun to practice with Anna. It was even more fun to practice with Savannah….

She was aware of most of what happened tonight. She found most of it disturbing. She wanted to better follow the operations and what Savannah and Cameron did. It is where she wanted her training focused. She knew she needed to be at Savannah's side.

There was one big obstacle. She wasn't 'old enough' in all their eyes for 'everything' she was ready to do. It was all the things she NEEDED to do to protect the future.

She felt there was no task she couldn't do. Her body was young to them, but nature dictated otherwise. She was ready to do as Savannah previously did. She didn't like to be held back. It was the fault of her mother, Allison, Savannah, and Sarah.

She believed it was up to her to make her own choices. It was what she was told she should do. It seemed when she wanted to make her own choices, they were met with a lot of resistance, especially from those who told her to make her own choices in the first place.

None of them wanted her to 'grow up'. She was 'grown up'. They just didn't understand it. Cameron understood it and trained her accordingly. The Metal girls all understood it. She was secretly 'conditioned' as an adult every night. She thought it was her body which 'called' to her to act, or was it really what was 'planted' in her mind which 'called' to her.

Cameron wanted her genetic material to be harvested and implanted in her mother to nourish and deliver a baby. It was the baby she wanted as her own.

Young Allison didn't know it, but the thoughts were rooted deep in her mind.

Allison spent some time talking with her mother after the late night snack. It was after her return home from her 'excursion'. She went to her room afterwards. She didn't really know how she would explain what she did and why it happened.

There were times in the future when she experienced similar feelings. They were usually after someone she knew as more than a casual acquaintance was killed. Death was common in the future. It was one of the reasons why people tried not to get close to each other. If they weren't close, the pain of 'separation' wouldn't be as great. Sometimes she wanted to 'run'. She wanted to get away from it all. There was nowhere to 'run'. There was nowhere to 'go'.

She was aware the use of a TDE did allow a form of escape. She was able to leave a living hell and go to Paradise. She knew someone could be taken out of the future, she didn't think the 'future' could be taken out of the person. Maybe the future was her future, if Paradise could be left behind.

Allison was surprised by a soft knock on her door. It returned her back to reality. There were times when she wondered if reality really was reality.

Anna entered Allison's room after she knocked.

Allison looked at Anna and she came into the room. She could see there were some differences from earlier.

"Did you change?" Allison asked.

Anna smiled faintly.

"It's hot out." Anna said.

Allison lay on her bed.

Anna came over and lay next to her.

Allison moved over slightly to give Anna more room.

Anna moved closer to Allison anyway.

Allison looked at Anna. She thought about how Hot she looked. She knew Anna was 'Cameron' and 'Savannah'. She knew the only thing Hotter than it would be Cameron and Future Allison as a Terminator. It was what Cameron was supposed to be….

Anna looked over at Allison slightly.

Allison knew it wasn't a 'social call'.

Earlier:

Cameron went with Savannah to the door to her room. She gave her a hug and Savannah winced.

She knew the hug was less force than she gave Savannah earlier. The lighter hug was done specifically so it wouldn't cause Savannah any distress. She knew it meant the bruising and swelling was worse. It was typical of an injury. Impact blows were no different. She personally knew what it was like being shot multiple times. She was just glad Savannah didn't have the 'holes' to go along with the injuries.

"I'm sorry." Cameron said.

Savannah managed a shallow smile. It was the best she could do. There wasn't anything she could do about her condition.

"I'm fine." Savannah said. "I'll manage."

Cameron looked at her for a few moments and entered her room. It was clear to her Savannah needed help. Sure Savannah could 'manage', but she was only going to aggravate her injuries more. It was unacceptable to her. There was no need to delay the recovery time. There was no need to make anything worse.

"I'll help you get ready for bed." Cameron said. "I can see your side and arm really hurts when you move it."

Savannah didn't want to burden Cameron with her problems. She wanted to stand tall for Cameron. She didn't want Cameron to feel bad about herself because of her. It was what worried her right now.

"You don't need to." Savannah said. "I can manage. I'm fine."

Cameron never heard Savannah complain. Cammy told her the same thing about Savannah. Cammy said she needed to do it anyway for Savannah, after Savannah always told her she could 'hack it', or she was 'fine'.

It disgusted Cameron more than a little. She knew Savannah said those things to be more like her. There were many things about herself she didn't want anyone else to be, especially Savannah. She believed her shortcomings were plentiful. Savannah wasn't a Terminator. She was a teenage girl. She was human. It was true she could turn her 'pain' receptors off, even though she usually didn't. It was usually only done so at Savannah's urging. Savannah told her she didn't want her to suffer needlessly. Savannah needed to feel her pain and it stayed with her until it was healed.

Cameron went over and took out Savannah's 'night clothes'. She could tell Savannah hurt, and hurt a lot.

Savannah smiled at her.

"I'm fine." Savannah said. "I'll be alright."

Savannah wanted to reassure Cameron she was OK.

Cameron felt a glitch impulse but suppressed it. She knew how much Savannah really hurt. She decided to continue to help regardless of what Savannah said.

"I'd like to assist you anyway." Cameron said. "I am going to assist you."

Savannah wished it was the moment Cameron would 'take' her. They could make and share love. The circumstances were all wrong. She was in too much pain. It would be in an uncomfortable experience for her, instead of a pleasurable one.

"I'll be OK once my top is off." Savannah said.

Cameron helped Savannah get her top off.

Savannah reached back to unhook her bra. Her arm stopped halfway there. There was too much pain to move it further without a lot of discomfort. Maybe a little more help would be fine. She turned her back to Cameron.

"Would you?" Savannah asked.

Cameron really wished everything was different. She wanted so much to undress Savannah and share with her. She imagined doing these same things under different circumstances.

The circumstances weren't different. She was responsible for the condition Savannah was currently in. It didn't matter if it was indirect or not. It was still her fault.

Cameron unhooked Savannah's bra for her.

Savannah turned and faced Cameron as she slid it off.

They stood there silently as they faced each other for a while.

There was an unspoken invitation which would need to be fulfilled at a later date.

Savannah sat down to take off her shoes. Vanna tied one of them earlier. Jesse tied the other when they were in the lab. She was sure things didn't hurt as much then as they did now.

Cameron removed Savannah's shoes for her.

Savannah finally slid her pants off with some help from Cameron.

Cameron looked at Savannah in her underwear. She wanted to slide those off of Savannah right now. She wanted to open things up and please Savannah. She wanted what called to her. She wanted to be with Savannah. Everything was right there in front of her.

Savannah looked at Cameron near her legs. She hoped Cameron would remove her underwear. She really wanted Cameron to do more. She moved her legs slightly apart. The offer was clear.

Cameron moistened her lips lightly as she looked at Savannah's underwear and then her face. She wanted what was there. She wanted Savannah. She wanted all of her and she knew where she wanted to start.

There was a dull 'thump' outside the room.

Cameron frowned slightly and she looked over towards the door. She was aware Cammy was outside the door, waiting….

Savannah reached down to slide her underwear off. She knew what Cameron wanted. She wanted it too. Currently all her pain was forgotten. Her animal instincts called to her right now. She wanted the pleasure to override the pain, even if the total escape would only be for a few moments. A few moments, was a few moments. She knew they would actually be her most special 'moments'.

Cammy listened intently from outside Savannah's room. She could hear everything Cameron and Savannah did inside. She couldn't see inside the room, but she could clearly picture where everything was. She knew Savannah would slide her underwear down any second. She knew once Cameron saw what she wanted more than anything, she would take it. The pink pigmentation would call to her and she wouldn't be able to stop. It was how it was for her the first time with Savannah. It would be the same for Cameron. They ran the same program after all.

Cameron saw what Savannah was about to offer her. She was going to take it. She didn't care about anything else right now. She watched as Savannah started to slide her underwear down. She couldn't help but moisten her lips again in anticipation of what was to come.

There was another sound outside the door.

Cameron frowned. Cammy was right there. She was going to enter the room and ruin everything. No, she wasn't going to ruin it. She already ruined it. Reality quickly took control. She needed to remember her place. Now wasn't the time.

"Cammy will be here very soon with some ointment and pain medication if you want it. I suggest you use it. It should help speed the recovery." Cameron said. "It won't stop the pain, but it will make it a little more manageable for you. I don't want to see you suffer needlessly. It will serve no purpose."

Cameron wished she could take her own advice. She couldn't. She knew as long as she could feel pain, she was alive. She felt alive often.

There was a soft knock at the door a few seconds after Cameron mentioned Cammy.

Savannah understood Cammy was out there the whole time. She knew Cammy wanted to 'protect' what was 'hers'. She knew it was Cammy's perception anyway.

Cammy entered the room.

Cameron was still down by Savannah's legs. She made no effort to move. She wanted Cammy to see where she was and Savannah partially slid down her underwear. She made her point. It was time to leave. She carefully embraced the nearly naked form of Savannah and gave her a long soft kiss on her cheek. Her hand glided careful along Savannah's side without the bruising. She took in the fullness of her breast, and down her thigh. Savannah's underwear slid down a little further with her move.

"Thank You, Savannah." Cameron said. "Cammy can take over, for now…."

Cameron stood and faced Cammy. She looked at Cammy and Cammy looked back at her. The unspoken threat was there, even if it wasn't a threat. It was the reality of the future and what was coming.

Cammy knew her time was 'limited'.

"Thank you for your assistance." Cameron said to Cammy and left.

Savannah watched Cameron's head turn as the door started to close and gave her a wink.

Cammy decided it was better not to say anything about Cameron. If she ever forced the issue, she knew Savannah would choose Cameron over her. She pulled Savannah's underwear back up. She was there to assist Savannah at this time.

"You're injured much worse than you will admit." Cammy said.

Savannah lifted her butt up a little and pulled her underwear all the way back up.

Cammy watched her but said nothing.

"Do you or Cameron ever complain?" Savannah asked.

Cammy didn't see how Savannah could compare herself to a Terminator in this regard. Savannah was human, not a cyborg.

"We can turn our pain off." Cammy said.

Savannah knew it was true, but her observations indicated otherwise.

"Do you?" Savannah asked. "I've repaired both of you. I know you've both experienced pain needlessly."

Cammy wasn't sure how to explain it.

"We often don't shut the pain receptors down." Cammy said. "Cameron and I both leave it on as much as possible."

Savannah knew it. She could tell.

Cammy expected a response. There wasn't one.

"Aren't you going to ask why?" Cammy asked.

Savannah knew the drill. She heard way too many times already. The reason sickened her.

"No. I already know." Savannah said. "If you can feel pain, you know you're alive."

Savannah believed pleasure could do the same thing, but even better. She planned to show Cameron her theory herself one day. She really hoped it was one day soon.

Cammy thought exactly the same way Cameron did. They ran the same base program.

"Yes, it's in Cameron's poems. Let me help you finish getting ready for bed." Cammy said. "I have some medicine and ointment to administer."

Savannah called it like she saw it.

"Thank you, 'Cameron'." Savannah said.

Cammy looked at her with a slight frown.

"Cammy." Cammy corrected her. "It always has to be Cammy."

Cammy only allowed Savannah to call her 'Cameron' during her 'special moments' of pleasure. 'Cameron's' name softly spoken in the 'moment' meant so much to both of them. It meant everything and said it all….

Holly and Cameron lay side by side on Holly's bed.

Cameron finally spoke.

"Holly." Cameron said.

Holly waited a few seconds before she spoke.

"Yes." Holly answered.

Cameron noted the lag in the response.

"I know what you're going through and feel." Cameron said. "I want you to know I understand."

There was another long moment of silence.

"I'm sorry, Cameron." Holly said.

Holly moved and reached over for something next to her. It was time.

Cameron felt something placed in her hand. She could tell by the feel what it was. It was a scalpel.

Holly was prepared for the next step.

"I'm ready for deactivation." Holly said. "Thank you for everything. I love you, Cameron…."

They both sat up.

Holly turned on the light.

"You may proceed." Holly said.

Cameron lifted the scalpel….

Anna looked over at Allison as they lay on the bed. She wanted to have a discussion about what occurred and the events leading up to it. She wasn't really sure how to proceed.

Allison was ready to be 'chewed out' for endangering the mission Holly was on by 'running away'. She didn't know Holly actually did the same thing….

Anna informed Allison earlier the mission was a success and everyone returned safely. She left out the part about Cameron nearly being terminated. She was fixed now so what was the point? Allison was stressed out enough anyway. She didn't mention Savannah was shot three times in her vest and nearly killed. She wasn't.

Allison adjusted herself some and moved Anna's hand to her neck. She knew Anna wanted to scan her. It was like a greeting now in a way. She understood they were worried about her and the baby. She was worried too. Somehow even as irritating as it was, there was comfort to being scanned on a regular basis. She wasn't sure why because it wouldn't change the results one way or the other. If a problem showed up, it was already too late.

She figured she would be reprimanded, but it never came. Every time it seemed like the conversation was headed in the direction of an admonishment, it never arrived. She just wanted to get it over with. She looked at Anna. It was time to force the issue.

"Are you going to yell at me or scold me?" Allison asked.

Anna tilted her head slightly. She never yelled at anyone. She didn't think any of the Terminators ever actually yelled at anyone. Well, there were some 'discussions' between John and Cameron which became as heated as they were vocal. It was clear In the heat of the moment, two individuals would take things a little further than they normally would under more amicable circumstances.

"No." Anna said. "I understand."

Allison doubted it. Love was very complicated.

"Do you?" Allison asked.

Anna believed she was provided with a sound date base.

"I understand more than you think." Anna said. "I'm both 'Cameron' and 'Savannah'."

Allison wondered why she didn't remember it. There were a lot of thoughts on her mind.

"I'm sorry." Allison said. "I don't seem to know anything anymore."

Anna knew Allison's importance.

"You're very important to Cameron and Savannah." Anna said. "You're important to the future and John."

Allison looked over and frowned. It wasn't her. There seemed to be an abundance of other versions of her floating around the different futures. It shouldn't be too hard to retrieve one or more of them. She actually believed they didn't need to go any further than the next room. She knew where the real 'prize' was at. It wasn't her.

"No. It's Young Allison who is. NOT Me. " Allison said. "I don't matter."

Anna gave Allison's hand a gentle squeeze. She didn't want Allison to short change herself. There were quite a number of individuals who Allison mattered to.

"You do to Cameron and Savannah." Anna said. "You do to Vanna…."

Allison was pleased to hear it about Cameron and Savannah. The part about Vanna caused her more grief.

"I love Vanna dearly, but I think we're done." Allison said. "Too much has happened."

Anna believed there was an avenue to 'fix' some of it. Association and proximity contributed greatly to any relationship. Sometimes they could also be a negative factor.

"Your mother wishes to move to the base with Young Allison and Summer…." Anna said.

Allison expelled her breath forcefully. It was another point of contention. What bothered her most about it, was the fact she was the only one who seemed bothered about it in the first place. There was always someone very important to her who seemed to get overlooked.

"What about my father?" Allison asked.

Anna knew the story. Claire's parents and family didn't agree with her sexual preference. They wanted her to 'grow up' and get married. She told them it wasn't where her heart was. She was told it didn't matter. They hoped marriage would 'straighten' her out. It didn't. It only made her miserable and depressed. If it wasn't for her daughter's, she may have even become suicidal.

"Claire's moved on." Anna said. "She only got married because everyone told her she should. You know her preference is for females."

Allison knew. Just as she knew herself the moment Vanna 'took' her…. It was what seemed 'right' to her. Males only abused her. Vanna gave her love and then gave her pleasure. She wanted both desperately.

Anna could only speak the facts.

"Your parent's relationship ended with Judgment Day before…." Anna said. "It would have ended the same as it's ended now. It happens to half of all married couples."

Anna thought about pointing out some of the poems Cameron created. They were about the very subject. People tended to grow apart with time, not closer. They often resorted to tolerating each other. They sought comfort and pleasure where they could on the side.

Allison thought of her future and all the garbage she needed to eat. It was garbage in the literal sense. There were times when men found her and cornered her, alone. It was always a very negative and painful experience for her. She wished her parents could have protected her. They couldn't. They were dead.

"I want Allison and Summer to have both of my parents, their parents, as they grow up." Allison said. "It was what I always wanted for myself."

Anna knew no one could change Allison's future. It already happened. Claire already chose a different path in the present.

"It will be safer for you all to be at the base." Anna said. "Claire isn't going to change her mind about Paul. She tried to make it work. She couldn't. It's over. You should be concerned about your mother's happiness and well being as well as your father's. If two people aren't on the same page, they most likely never will be."

Allison worried about her father. She wanted more for him. Was he supposed to just drift off with the wind and fade away into the sunset?

"What about him?" Allison asked. "What about my father?"

Anna figured Cameron would protect him and provided for him.

"He'll move on. He will have a new life, a better life." Anna said.

Allison was sure how it would be accomplished.

"How?" Allison asked. "With a 'Metal Whore'?"

Anna assumed it would be a female Terminator. She thought if the female Terminator was programmed properly she would make Paul Young a very happy man as she protected him.

"Yes. She will do anything and everything for him." Anna said. "She can't be whatever it is your father seeks and desires. She would make the perfect mate for him and his needs."

"STOP." Allison said. "I don't want to hear it."

Anna moved her hand away from Allison's neck. She knew it is what Allison DID want to hear. It was the fact her father would be safe and protected. It meant her father would survive Judgment Day and live….

Allison wondered who it was. Which one of the Metal girls volunteered, or if her father was given a choice…. She hoped he didn't select a 'Cameron clone'. It would be 'HER'. She remembered the way her father used to look at Cameron when they first started to baby sit. She was afraid to ask. She hoped if anything it was a sheath Resequenced from her mother's DNA. She was sure it would be with a teenage appearance too. She also needed to consider her father wouldn't contract any social diseases from a Metal girl and she would protect him no matter what. She also realized her father could choose the appearance of anyone for the female Terminator. It might even be an actress. She figured it was better not to know.

Allison never asked.

Nobody ever told.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Pain

Pain can come in many forms
It may be imagined or real
It can happen in the body or mind
Damage or trauma to either one can feel

Physical damage may often heal
The actual pain fades with time in the mind
It seems the damaged to a mind itself
Is more difficult to heal and leave behind

Some seek physical pain
To know and feel they are alive
What in their mind do they deprive
What madness do they contrive

Mental pain can happen
Without any physical touch
It seems to happen from within
It can scar and hurt so much

It has often been said
There is no gain without pain
When is it better to refrain
To prevent damage to the brain

Nobody