I had an interesting start to my summer vacation. I learned that fairies were real, and that I was going on an adventure with my best friends, Timmy, Tootie, and Chester. Timmy also brought his friends from a different dimension, which was cool. For no good reason, he tried to murder Timmy because he was appointed captain. It was unusual for Chester to do something like that, and I wanted to know why he did it. To make sure Chester didn't try to stab anyone else, we tied his hands and feet together, then put him in a chair. Jimmy and I figured it was best to ask Chester questions that a sane person would have no problem answering. I asked the first question, "Why did you try to kill Timmy?"
"Because why should that moron be captain of anything?" Chester said.
"Why shouldn't he? He certainly knows more about magic than us." I said.
"Chloe knows just as much. And besides, do you know how many times he's nearly killed us, all because of his selfishness." Chester said.
"I don't know. And neither should you, so what makes you so sure he's selfish?" I said.
"Easy, would someone who's selfless make a wish where he and Trixie Tang were the only humans on the planet?" he said.
"What?" I said.
"Or make a wish to become popular, just to hang out with, gasp, Trixie freaking Tang? What about wishing for heat vision to finish his chores?" he said.
"Chester, how do you know about those wishes if we only learned about Timmy's fairies today? And how would Chloe know anything?" I said.
"Let's just say I know a guy." he said.
"Who? Crocker?" I said.
"Maybe? Maybe not? I'm not telling." he said. I had no ideas, so I stepped back a bit before signaling Jimmy to join me. When Jimmy reached me, I asked "Do you have any ideas to get him talking?"
"I've got one, just give me a minute." Jimmy said. "Keep him busy." Jimmy left as I stood in front of Chester again.
"Where's ice cream boy going?" Chester said in a snarky tone.
"What Jimmy does is none of your business. You mentioned Chloe earlier. Did she tell you what you know?"
"What makes you think I'm telling you anything?" he said.
"Because if you don't, I'm going to hurt you in ways you could never imagine." I said.
"You, hurt me?" he said. "Oh, AJ, I'd like to see you try." Jimmy then walked back in with Sheen following close behind him.
That's when Sheen said "I can do you one better. If you don't tell my friends what you know, we're gonna go skydiving without parachutes."
"You really think you can threaten me?" Chester said. That's when Sheen got real close to Chester.
"Threaten you? Don't be ridiculous. I've always wanted to skydive, and what's more fun than risky skydiving?" Sheen said.
"You can't be serious." Chester said.
"Oh, I'm dead serious. Are you gonna talk, or are we going to have some fun?" Sheen said.
"You're bluffing." Chester said.
"You wanna play dumb? Finally, a worthy opponent. Let's go." Sheen said before he grabbed the chair and started dragging Chester with him to the back door. "Come on Chester, we're going sightseeing." he said as he stopped the chair right at the door. He then opened the door and pulled Chester off his chair. He said "Are you ready for our adventure?" Chester then screamed in terror, to which Sheen replied "I'm going to take your screams of terror as a yes."
"All right, I'll tell you who my guy is." Chester said.
"Too late." Sheen said, before he jumped off the ship, still holding Chester. The last thing I saw was Chester and Sheen falling into the clouds below. I looked back to see Jimmy standing right behind me.
I grabbed him by his collar and screamed "That was your idea of getting Chester to talk? Having your crazy friend kill him!"
"Relax, they'll be back any minute." Jimmy said.
"What?" I said. Suddenly, I could hear Chester screaming again. I looked outside and saw Sheen and Chester flying in the air. Sheen reentered the ship with a clearly shaken up Chester and placed him back on the ground. As Sheen closed the door, Jimmy dragged Chester and his chair back to the sick bay. When the door closed, I walked up to Sheen and asked "How did you do that?"
"I'm wearing flight boots. Jimmy gave them to me so I could scare Chester. I wasn't actually going to kill him. I'm not that crazy." Sheen said. I then decided that it was best to get back to Chester. I went back to the sick bay to see that Chester and his chair were back to their original spot.
So, I walked back over to him and said "So, who's your guy?"
"Father Darkness. His name is Father Darkness." he said.
"Father Darkness? Who is he?" I said.
"Who is who?" he said.
"Father Darkness!" I said.
"I don't know who that is." he said.
"Then why did you tell us his name?" I said.
"But I didn't. Quick question though, why am I tied to a chair?" he said.
"Because you tried to kill Timmy." I said.
"What, I'd never do that." he said. I had it with his stupid mind games.
I moved away from Chester and said "Jimmy, you can handle him, right?"
"I think so, why?" Jimmy said.
"Because I need to tell the captain what we learned. See what you can get out of him." I said as I left the sick bay. I entered the bridge to see Timmy sitting in his chair. I wasn't sure he was going to like what I had to say.
I was sitting in my chair, still trying to wrap my head around the idea of Chester trying to kill me, when AJ entered the bridge. He walked up to me and said "Captain Turner, I have something to tell you."
I then turned around to look at him, and said "What is it AJ?"
"We think Chester tried to kill you because you made extremely selfish wishes." he said.
"Really? Did he have any examples?" I said.
"You wished that you and Trixie Tang were the only humans on the Earth, wished to become popular to hang out with Trixie Tang, and wished for heat vision to finish your chores faster." he said.
"Well, Chester doesn't realize that those wishes came with… wait, how does he even know about those wishes" I said.
"He said someone named Father Darkness told him." he said.
"How does he know about Father Darkness?" I said.
"How do you know about him?" he said.
"Jorgen told me. What else did Chester tell you?" I said.
"He also said that Chloe knew as much about magic as you. How is that possible?" he said.
"We had to share fairies for a while. Don't ask how that worked." I said.
"I won't." he said.
"Did he say anything else?" I said.
"No. Apparently, Chester 'forgot' everything after saying Father Darkness's name." he said.
"He's probably faking it." I said.
Then out of nowhere, Jimmy came in and said "Actually, he isn't."
"What?" AJ said.
"Yeah, it turns out he has no memory of that." Jimmy said.
"Jimmy, how do you know for sure? He could be faking." I said.
"I have a machine that allows me to analyze a person's memories in exact detail. Looking through his memories, he seemed to black out right around the moment we saw the ship. He came back after we asked him about Father Darkness." he said. He then walked closer to us and said "Did either of you notice his eyes were red?" That's when I knew I wasn't just seeing things.
"Yes. But I thought I was seeing things." I said.
"I'm wondering if Father Darkness somehow possessed Chester. Mind swaps are possible with magic, Cosmo told me the Doidle story." he said.
"Of course he mentioned that story. Did you talk to Jorgen?" I said.
"Yes, and he told me what he told you. He's the fairy that found the World's Treasure, and he's not only the first anti-fairy, he's also their leader. That's all." he said.
"He didn't mention anything about powers of any kind?" I said.
"No, he didn't." he said. There was something Jorgen wasn't telling us, and I needed to know what. Trouble was, I had no idea where he was. I checked the sick bay, not there. I checked the bathrooms, nothing. When I finally went to the kitchen, I saw that he was cooking some kind of stew. I say some kind because I couldn't make out the ingredients in the pot.
I walked over to him and said "Jorgen, how come you haven't mentioned any of Father Darkness's powers?"
"Because he doesn't have any." he said.
"Then why did Chester try to kill me?" I said.
"One of four reasons. Money, love, power, and good old-fashioned jealousy." he said.
"Then why did his eyes glow red?" I said. Let's see Jorgen get out of that one.
"Neutron was seeing things." he said.
"But I saw it too. Was I also seeing things?" I said.
"Yes, you were. Now leave Turner, making stew is a delicate art that requires no distractions." he said. It was clear that I wasn't getting anywhere, so I left the kitchen and planned on going back to the bridge. As I walked back to the bridge, I bumped into Cindy.
She said "Hey again."
"Hey. Where are you going?" I said.
"I was thinking about going to the kitchen to grab a quick snack." she said.
"Alright, do you mind if I join you?" I said.
"No, I don't." she said.
"Great. By the way, Jorgen's making some special stew that requires no distractions." I said.
"Then we'll be quiet." she said. We then walked over to the kitchen, where we saw that Jorgen wasn't there. No distractions, sure Cat-Man. He probably ran away with his stew before we got there.
Cindy looked at me and said "Looks like it's just us."
"I guess he finished that stew." I said. We walked over to the snack cabinet, where she grabbed a bag of chips.
She looked at me and said "Do you want one?"
"Sure." I said. She grabbed me a bag, then we moved to the dining table. After we sat down, I said "So, what got you into karate?"
She said "I thought it would be good exercise, and I also wanted to be able to defend myself. What got you into football?" When I told her why, she said "Really, people used to pick on you?"
"Yeah, mainly this big grey jerk named Francis." I said.
"The creepy guy that tried to beat up Trixie?" she said.
"The very same." I said.
"What would he do?" she said.
"Mostly take my lunch money." I said.
"When did he stop picking on you?" she said.
I said "Last year, at homecoming, he dared me to meet him behind the school for a fight. I decided not to run away and accept his dare. Moments later, we met behind the school, and he began beating the snot out of me. Luckily, I was able to knock him out, and I won."
"Did anyone pick on you after that?" she said.
"Outside of Francis today, no. I honestly got lucky with that fight. I had no idea what I was doing." I said.
"Well, I could teach you a couple of things." she said. She then stood me up and showed me a couple of punches. After I had the movement down, she said "Follow me." We then went to her room, where I noticed that she had a practice dummy. She then closed the door and said "Alright, hit the dummy."
"Okay." I said. At first, the dummy wouldn't tip over. But with every hit, it would tip little by little. Eventually, I was able to knock it down. But before I could get too excited, it leapt up and hit me in the face, causing me to crash on to Cindy's bed.
She said "Are you okay?"
"I think so." I said, as I tried to get up. After a couple of failed attempts, I was able to sit on her bed. The moment I sat down; I could see a look of shock on her face. So, I said "What?"
"You're bleeding." she said.
"What!" I said.
"Don't move!" she said, as she quickly grabbed some tissues. She then walked over to me and began wiping the blood away. It turns out that dummy packed a weak punch because I only had a nosebleed. It wasn't fun, but at least my nose wasn't broken. As she finished wiping the blood away, she said "You had me scared there."
"I know. Most people don't say 'You're bleeding,' when something good happens." I said.
"True." she said. We then looked each other in the eyes again and decided to try to kiss again.
But before anything could happen, Jimmy came in and said "Captain, I need you."
"What's up?" I said.
"Follow me." he said. I then followed him out of her room, until we ended up in his room. When we got there, he said "What's going on between you and Cindy?"
"What are you talking about?" I said.
"Every time I run into the two of you, you're about to kiss. Why is that?" he said.
"I don't know, maybe we still like each other. Why does it matter to you anyway, I thought you broke up?" I said.
"We did, I'm just not sure how you'd even date her." he said.
"And that's because?" I said.
"Well for one thing, you live in a different dimension from us." he said.
"We'd be inter-dimensional pen pals. Next time you feel like giving dating advice, don't." I said. I then left his room and ran to her room, hoping to hang out with her more. But when I got there, her door was closed and had a "Do Not Disturb" sign. It was clear that she had gone to bed, so I went back to my room feeling frustrated. Frustrated that I blew my chance with Cindy, frustrated that Jorgen was keeping things from me, and frustrated that I had no clear answer for Chester's problem. In my room, I saw that I had a computer. This wasn't an ordinary computer since it could connect to the Fairy World's equivalent of the internet. Unusually for me, I decided to do some research on the Fairy World Museum of History. I was able to print out a copy of the museum's map, which I planned to use later. I also decided to print some articles on Mount von Strangle, since we needed it to destroy the World's Treasure. After I finished printing, I decided to go to bed. As I was getting ready, I noticed a text message from a phone number I didn't recognize.
It said "Watch out Turner, we're building a team." I figured it was probably Crocker. I locked my phone and went to bed. I planned to tell the team in the morning.
I didn't want to recruit Vicky Taylor. She was a retired babysitter going to college in Texas, just so she didn't have to live in Dimmsdale. She never really struck me as evil, since all the parents in town seemed to like her. But Father Darkness told me that she had a wicked side, and that she was Timmy Turner's mortal enemy. I didn't believe him when he told me. How could someone so nice be a ten-year old's mortal enemy? Oh, how naïve I was. We arrived at her rented house, where Father Darkness and I got out on the sidewalk. As we walked to the front door, I said "I still think this is a bad idea."
"You don't know her. Her nice side is a mask that hides the venomous snake underneath." Father Darkness said.
"Yeah, sure. Next, you're gonna tell me that she's got a stick up her butt." I said.
"It's a bug actually." he said. I didn't acknowledge what he said and knocked on her door.
When she answered the door, I said "Hello."
"Go away." she said, before she slammed the door in my face. Normally, I would have just turned around and left. But, since Father Darkness wanted her on the team, I knocked on her door again and waited for her to answer. When she opened the door, she screamed "It's four in the morning Mark, go home!" I'll be honest, I was so confused about who Mark was, and why she would assume I was him. A moment passed, and she realized who she was yelling at. She quickly calmed down and said "Mr. Crocker, what are you doing in Texas? Better question, how did you know I was here?"
I said "You're parents told me where you were." That was a lie, Father Darkness told me. "I need a favor from you."
"Mr. Crocker, it's nothing personal, but older men just aren't my type." she said. I still shudder at what she was implying.
"It's nothing like that. It involves Timmy Turner." I said.
"I'm sorry. You came all the way to Dallas, Texas for a favor involving Timmy Turner, a random kid I haven't thought about since high school?" I wasn't sure how to answer her.
Luckily, Father Darkness said "You see, we need someone to join my team who knows Timmy Turner's dirty laundry like the back of their hand."
"So? Why do you need me for that? I'm sure that crazy Veronica chick knows more than me at this point. Hell, talk to my sister. She knows his shoe size, that's how well she knows him." she said.
"Because I know of your true nature. I know you still have that dark side, and I know Timmy Turner still fears it. Besides, you're skilled at crafting traps and gadgets. We need someone like you on our team." he said.
"Will you join us?" I said. She thought for a moment.
She then said "All right, if I join you, what's in it for me?"
"That's simple, I'll make sure you have all the money you'll ever need." he said.
"All right, I'm in." she said. She grabbed her already packed suitcase and carried it onto the ship. With all of us on the ship, Father Darkness started putting in the coordinates to our next destination.
As he put them in, I said "Where exactly are we going? Retroville?"
"I have a team doing my work there. No, we're going to Unwish Island." he said.
"Unwish what?" I said.
"Island, Unwish Island. As you know, it's standard practice for fairy god kids to have an Unwish Locker. Timmy Turner has unwished so many wishes, there's an entire island dedicated to his discarded wishes. That's where our next team member lives." he said. That was great and all, but Unwish Lockers were heavily guarded. It stood to reason that this Unwish Island would have the same kind of security.
So, I asked "How are we going to get past security?" as Father Darkness finished putting the coordinates in.
"We're going to break the sound barrier." he said as he cranked the speed to eleven. He turned on his intercom and said "Everybody buckle up! We're playing chicken with science." Scared, I found the nearest seat and buckled up. As soon as I was locked in, we sped off at a million miles per hour, breaking space and time. I was surprised we were even alive. But there we were, on Unwish Island, looking for the next member of our team.
I gotta tell you, being stuck on an island, not cool. But you know, four years of being stuck on an island you don't belong on is even worse. Sure, I had an infinite number of Tim Tim clones I could beat up to my heart's content. But doing it repeatedly for four years made it boring. It also didn't help that they didn't age, causing me to feel bad about beating up a ten-year-old. I knew Tim Tim was aging because I was aging too. We even started going through puberty at the exact same time. Every change he went through, I went through. If he gained weight, I did too. If he lost weight, so did I. Nothing I did affected him though, so I could eat whatever I wanted, and never gain a pound. And another fun fact, I had the mental age of a three-year-old when I was first reborn. By the time I was fourteen, my mental age caught up with my body.
Honestly, there was nothing all that exciting on that godforsaken island. The only fun thing I had left was listening to music. There was an oldies station, and it played a large variety of songs from the '50s all the way to the '90s. I also had a friend in Dark Laser and his toy dog Flipsie. They were a friendly bunch and helped keep me sane. There were no girls on the island, so romantic pursuits were out of the question for me. Well, except for Timantha, who was basically Tim as a girl. It would have felt weird hitting on a girl that looked like my former best friend. He could've at least wished for a Tootie clone. I had no idea what Tim saw in that Trixie girl, because I thought Tootie, who's real name is Kim, was sweet. Following Tim's life from a distance, I knew I had found the girl of my dreams.
As for how I got involved on this little adventure, it all started at the resort pool. Now I know what you're thinking, resort? What happened to the "I Hate Timmy" club? Easy, most of us grew to like him. Not me though, like that mattered. But, because everyone else stopped focusing their energy on hating old Tim Tim, a new resort was built to accommodate all of his unwished wishes. Thus, the Unwish Resort was born. It had a restaurant, a gym, a theater for film and stage, as well as the previously mentioned pool. I was sitting by the pool, waiting for my dinner order, when I noticed a huge ship in the sky. It was moving fast, and it was heading for the resort. Like any brave person, I tried to flee to my room. But before I could even leave the pool, the ship flew over the resort and parked by the front.
George Washington looked at me from the pool and said "What in Virginia's name is that thing doing here?"
"I don't know, and I'm gonna find out." I said. I grabbed the closest Hawaiian shirt I could and threw it on. I grabbed my manager's name tag and ran to the front room. When I got there, I saw a forty-something man with grey skin dressed like every teacher, a blonde kid borrowing James Bond's tux, an attractive redhead in a green shirt and black pants, and a giant anti-fairy. I recognized the redhead as Vicky, Kim's nightmare sister. The grey man was Mr. Crocker, Tim Tim's jerk teacher, and the blonde was rich snob Remy Buxaplenty. As for the anti-fairy, my mind drew a blank. It certainly wasn't that weakling Anti-Jorgen.
As insane as Tim Tim could be, he wasn't wishing people out of existence anymore. So, how did three random humans and an anti-fairy enter Unwish Island? The only way I was ever going to get answers was by checking them in. I said "Hello, welcome to the Unwish Island Resort. I'm the manager, Imaginary Gary. But you can just call me Gary."
Before I could say anymore, Remy screamed "You!" He then tackled me to the ground and hit me with the weakest slaps possible.
As he slapped me weakly, I asked "What's your problem dude?"
"I do have friends, scumbag." he said.
"I'm sure you do. What does that have to do with me?" I said.
"At Shirley's Pizzeria today, you mocked me in front of everyone." he said.
The giant anti-fairy pulled Remy off me and said "That wasn't Gary, it was actually Timmy in a lazy disguise. I should have told you earlier." The anti-fairy helped me up and said "I'm sorry Gary."
"It's okay, it was the only exciting thing to happen at this resort in four years." I said.
"Well, let me introduce myself. My name is Father Darkness." he said.
"Hey Father Darkness, nice to meet you." I said.
"The pleasure is all mine, Gary. I'm here to make you an offer you can't refuse." he said.
"Does it involve renting rooms?" I said.
"No, but it involves Timmy Turner. He's built a team to destroy the anti-fairy's last chance at survival. Denzel and I are building a team to stop him" he said. I didn't really care about stopping Tim, I just wanted to leave the island and see Kim.
So, I said "Alright, I'll join. As long as you let me bring Dark Laser and Flipsie."
"Bring them. We must get to Fairy World, so pack your bags fast." he said, as he was leaving. I told Dark Laser, we got packed, and left Unwish Island with Father Darkness. After four years of being trapped, I was finally free.