Flora stood in the middle of her cramped Dublin apartment, her hands on her hips, glaring at her guitar like it had personally insulted her. Max, her teenage son, was off in his room blasting some unintelligible electronic music, and the apartment still smelled faintly of burnt toast. But that wasn't the problem.

The problem was Ian.

Ian, her ex-husband, who'd promised he'd show up last weekend for Max's school gig and then—poof—he ghosted. No calls. No texts. Nothing. And when Flora did finally hear from him? His excuse was so lame she thought she might faint from second-hand embarrassment: "I got busy with me music, love."

"You're a bloody DJ," she muttered, grabbing her guitar. "What's so busy about pressing play?"

"Let me get this straight," Jeff said, leaning back in his chair, his acoustic guitar balanced on his lap. His face was projected onto Flora's laptop screen, looking just as laid-back and California cool as always. "You want to write a diss song about your ex-husband?"

"Exactly," Flora said, her Irish accent sharp with determination. "A proper roast. Something savage."

Jeff raised an eyebrow. "Savage, huh? Okay, but, like, what's your endgame here? You want to perform it for him? Upload it to YouTube?"

"I want him to feel it," Flora said, pacing her tiny living room. "I want him to squirm every time he hears it, like he's sitting on a chair made of needles."

Jeff chuckled, strumming a lazy chord. "Alright. I'm in. But this could go one of two ways: either it's brilliant and cathartic… or it backfires spectacularly."

Flora stopped pacing and pointed at the screen. "That's why you're here, Jeff. To make sure it's brilliant."

He grinned. "Alright, then. Let's start with the basics. What's the vibe? Angry punk? Sad ballad? Spiteful folk?"

Flora thought for a moment, then snapped her fingers. "Something catchy. Like that song that gets stuck in your head and drives you mad. A real earworm."

Jeff nodded, his fingers already plucking at the strings. "Catchy, got it. And what's the main diss? Like, what's the core of your message?"

"That he's a lazy, self-absorbed arse who thinks DJing at dodgy clubs makes him some kind of music god," Flora said without hesitation. "Oh, and that he's a terrible dad."

Jeff winced. "Oof. Okay, so we're going full scorched earth."

"Exactly," Flora said, grabbing her guitar and plopping down on the couch. "Let's do this."

Over the next few hours, the song started to take shape. Flora and Jeff bounced ideas back and forth, trading insults and melodies like they were in a battle of wit and rhythm. The chorus was particularly biting:

"You spin those tracks, you spin those lies,
But you can't even look your son in the eyes.
You're a DJ with no soul, just pressin' play,
While we're stuck in your mess every single day."

"Damn," Jeff said, laughing as he wrote down the lyrics. "That's cold. I love it."

Flora grinned, feeling a sense of triumph bubbling up. "This is gonna be legendary."

A week later, the song was ready. Flora recorded it on her phone and, after much debate, decided to upload it to her Instagram. She captioned it: "Dedicated to the biggest DJ flop in Dublin. You know who you are."

The reaction was immediate. Friends and strangers alike flooded her comments with laughing emojis, clapping hands, and the occasional "Girl, this is savage!" For the first time in ages, Flora felt like she had the upper hand.

But then came the backlash.

It started when Ian finally saw the post. Flora was at the supermarket when her phone buzzed with a text from him: "What the hell is this?!"

She smirked, typing back, "Oh, you saw it? Great! Thought you'd appreciate some honest feedback."

His reply came almost instantly: "You've lost it, Flora. This is childish."

She rolled her eyes, tossing a loaf of bread into her basket. "Childish? Like ghosting your kid? Pot, meet kettle."

But Ian wasn't the only one who had opinions. Some of Flora's mutual friends started chiming in, too. "A bit harsh, don't you think?" one commented. "Not a good look to air your dirty laundry like this," another added.

To make matters worse, someone (probably Ian) had shared the song in a DJ forum, where it quickly went viral. Suddenly, Flora's Instagram was flooded with comments from angry DJs defending Ian and accusing her of being "bitter" and "toxic."

"You can't win," she muttered to herself, scrolling through the mess.

Later that evening, Jeff called her on Skype. "So… how's it going?" he asked cautiously.

Flora groaned, flopping onto her bed. "A disaster. Half of Dublin thinks I'm a hero, and the other half thinks I'm a lunatic."

Jeff winced. "Yeah, that happens sometimes. People love a good diss track, but they also love tearing people down."

"What do I do?" Flora asked, sitting up. "Delete it? Apologize? Double down?"

Jeff thought for a moment, then smiled. "You know what they say in showbiz: if you can't beat the backlash… embrace it."

"What does that mean?" Flora asked, narrowing her eyes.

Jeff's grin widened. "It means you're gonna need a follow-up song."

The second song was even more ridiculous than the first. This time, Flora leaned into the humor, poking fun at herself and the absurdity of the situation. The chorus went:

"They say I'm bitter, they say I'm mad,
But at least I'm not a ghost of a dad.
So here's my encore, my final track,
You can spin your lies, but I'm clappin' back!"

She recorded a goofy music video in her apartment with Max and even got Mindy to join in for backup vocals. The video ended with Flora holding a sign that read, "This is all just a bit of craic. Don't take life so seriously."

The follow-up was an instant hit. People loved the self-awareness, and the comments quickly turned positive again. Even Ian begrudgingly texted her, "Alright, I'll admit, the second one was funny. But you're still a pain in the arse."

Flora smiled as she typed back, "Takes one to know one."

By the end of it all, Flora had learned a valuable lesson: revenge might be sweet, but laughter is even sweeter. And if life gives you a dodgy ex-husband and a guitar, you might as well make a hit song out of it.