Harry Potter is dead.
This sentence echoes in my head. I hear my screams mixed with those of Ron and Hermione. I want to rush towards him, but arms around my waist stop me. I can't believe it, and neither can anyone else around me. Everything is a blur, and I can make out a figure advancing towards the Death Eaters, but before he can make a move, he's disarmed. It's Neville, our worthy leader of the DA over the past year. Once again, he resists. Voldemort lights the Sorting Hat on Neville's head, he can't move, he's imprisoned by some curse. I want to get close to him, but some arms are still holding me back. I see a silver lightning emerge from the Sorting Hat, and Neville seizes it and slices through the snake's body. Before anyone could make a move, Voldemort raised his wand and a flash of green light struck Neville's chest and he collapsed.
In just a few minutes, I let the love of my life and my best friend die. Who would be next? One of my brothers? My father? Me? I break free of the hold they have on me and approach Neville's body, I scream but no sound leaves my lips, they've cast a mute spell on us, I can't move any further, all my friends are collapsing but ''m trying to stand up straight, my head raised. I won't bend to their will. I'll remain proud until the end. We're all doomed, so what's the point of bowing down if we're going to die? I am a Gryffindor, I am a Weasley and I will die with dignity, I will die free.
I can feel the eyes of some of the Death Eaters on me, it's true that I must be easy to spot with my flaming hair up. My gaze meets Draco Malfoy's, and for a moment I see fear and perhaps even remorse, but I don't dwell on it, it's probably a hallucination, his side has won. My gaze shifts to the other Death Eaters, a few of whom I recognise. They're not all Slytherins, far from it; I see a few Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. There are even some Gryffindors, older than me but there nonetheless.
Voldemort opens his mouth and I concentrate on what he's saying.
"There will be no more Sorting ceremony, no more houses, only the emblem, the blazon and the colours of my ancestor will be allowed. All mudbloods will be executed tomorrow at sunrise. Death Eaters, summon the blood traitors and make them kneel before me."
The crowd of fighters split into three groups, the purebloods in front, at Voldemort's feet, I struggled, as did a few others, but not violently enough, I am still in shock, Harry is dead, Neville is dead. Hermione will be tomorrow morning, so I shouldn't be long after that. Everyone knows that the Weasleys are the biggest family of blood traitors in the UK, and I'm proud of that. I glance behind me, see Hermione and Dean being led away, see another group, the largest, on their knees, trapped in invisible ropes. I recognise several faces, all with a deep expression of terror, tears streaming down their cheeks.
"I will not waste any more purebloods than necessary. Every traitor of child-bearing age will marry one of my loyal Death Eaters. Together you will build a new world where purebloods rule, where vermin are destroyed. I don't care about those who are too old, just kill them."
I meet George's eyes, then Bill's, and I can see that we're all thinking the same thing. I can't hear what's coming next, only my screams and those of my brothers. Our parents are watching us, helpless to do anything, being taken away alongside Neville's grandmother and so many others. I scream out all my pain, all my distress, but my parents move away anyway. They can't die. They're far too young, but obviously not young enough for the Dark Lord.
I can't control anything anymore, I can feel myself being kicked to move forward, but I can't look away from the place where I saw my parents disappear, where I saw them alive for the last time. I wish everything would stop, that I'd wake up from this nightmare, but deep down I know I'm not dreaming. Never in my worst nightmares could I have imagined such an ending. To be spared when all my friends are dead, my parents are dead, I'm going to become the wife of a Death Eater, probably the mother of his children. A common prostitute in the service of an underling of the greatest dark lord of all time. It makes me want to throw up. In fact, that's what I'm doing, stepping on the shoes of the Death Eater who's ordering me to move on.
"Move, you slut!"
We are locked in a large room on the fifth floor. The muggle-borns are on the first floor, the half-bloods on the third. Voldemort took over the headmaster's office, and the most important Death Eaters occupied those of the other teachers. Those still of school age returned to their dormitories, the others took empty classrooms. I can't imagine what they're going to do with the corpses of Order members and students stored in the Great Hall. And Harry's and Neville's... Are they just going to lie there in the open for everyone to see while they decompose? Will they be burnt? They certainly won't be buried, Voldemort wouldn't allow his enemy to be buried in conformity, he already violated Dumbledore's grave, he could do a hundred times worse.
The Death Eaters have locked us in this room, but we're not tied up, I look around for my brothers, I need them so I approach. They've always joked about me being the youngest. They've always protected me, comforted me, it would be their role, once again, to do that now, I'm only sixteen after all. But they won't, they're all as lost as I am, but I need to hug them and cry with them. Bill, Charlie, George, Ron and me. That's what's left of the Weasleys. Mum and Dad have probably been killed by now, Fred died in the Battle, the Death Eaters killed Percy when they realised he'd come back to us, his family. Four dead, five survivors, but for how long? How will George survive without Fred? Ron without Hermione and Harry? Me without my family and friends? Fleur is hugging Bill, crying, George and Ron are crying together, Charlie is sitting up, saying nothing. I walk over to him. I sit down and look at him before taking him in my arms. I don't cry, I'm unable to.
"It's not over" I whisper, "we're going to fight. I'm not giving up."
"Don't get your hopes up, Ginny" Charlie says simply.
"I won't be forced into marriage. I won't. I'd rather die. I won't become a pawn in their bloody plan. I'm a Weasley, I won't submit."
My screams set off the Death Eaters who were watching us. I leapt to my feet, saw them reach for my wand and the lightning struck me full force. I collapsed in pain. Every inch of my body is in excruciating pain. It's not the first cruciatus I've suffered, I've had them all year with the Carrows. But despite everything, it still hurts. I don't think about it any more, I can only concentrate on the pain flooding my body. At last, the pain stops. I can feel my classmates looking at me, but I can't see them. Everything is a blur.
The Death Eaters leave without a word or a glance. I can make out Charlie leaning over me, watching me with tears in his eyes.
"Don't play with fire, Ginny. We've already lost Mum and Dad, Fred and Percy, we can't lose our little sister because she was careless."
I don't want to argue with him, I don't want another torture spell. But I won't be silenced by a cruciatus, I'll resist until the day I die. George approaches me and gives me a hug. We sat there for a long time. Most of my friends have fallen asleep. Not me, I can't. How can I find the peace and quiet to fall asleep after what's happened today? Long hours go by without me moving, staring at the ceiling. I can't think about the future, so I retreat into the past.
It's barely dawn, but we're all awake already. A Death Eater has come to yell at us and reinforcements have been called to drag us into the park. It's May the 3rd 1998 and today marks the start of the new regime. It will begin with the executions of the muggle-born. Hermione is the first. Although this comes as no surprise, I can't help feeling a deep pain.
I can see them coming, the outcasts of this new society who are going to be executed within the day, if not within the hour. I can't look away from Hermione. She is upright, proud, accepting her fate. Many tears are streaming down her cheeks, and I can see that she is looking for us. The screams from the crowd are terrible. I can hear Ron shouting his name, but she doesn't give him a glance, probably because it's too painful. Yet she finds mine, our eyes meet and despite my own tears, my vision is perfectly clear, I can see the words on her lips, her last words, which she is addressing to me rather than Ron.
Resist, never give up.
How could she have known? Hermione, once again, fully deserves her nickname of Know-It-All. We haven't seen each other since Harry died, but she knew. She knew when my brothers hadn't yet realised. She knows I won't give up and she makes sure I know it. I doubt she heard my screams, but Hermione probably knows me better than I thought.
I watch her go up on the scaffold and not once does she look down. I don't want to watch, I don't want to see my friend die at the hands of the Dark Lord. I don't want to see the life leave her body, I want to turn my head away, but for Hermione's sake, I don't do it. She deserves, after all she has sacrificed, that I pay her this last tribute. Voldemort had insisted on murdering her himself, the most sought-after and notorious mudblood in the country, no doubt to show that after killing the Boy-who-lived, Potter's mudblood would not be an obstacle. He raised his wand and said the spell in a cold, calm voice. Hermione didn't turn away and looked death in the eye. The flash of green light struck her in the heart. Her body collapses and her last expression remains frozen, an acceptance forever etched on her pale face.
My screams mingle with those of the crowd. We scream, we get angry, the Death Eaters raise their wands and shout at us to stay calm, but no one listens. They cast a mute spell on us to no avail, which only makes us angrier. I see the next person come up, shaking all over, loud sobs coming out of his mouth. I don't know his name, he was a Ravenclaw two or three years younger than me. What he was doing there when he was supposed to have fled, I don't know, but he couldn't have escaped for very long, as soon as all the muggleborns were dead, the Death Eaters would be in charge of finding those who weren't present at the battle. I sincerely hope that most of them have left the country, but then again, with the means at Voldemort's disposal, it's only a matter of days or weeks.
My tears haven't stopped flowing, but they redouble when I see who's next. Dean. Even though we didn't part on the best of terms, I still care about him. He's looking for Seamus, I see him. I don't want to turn round to see Seamus's expression, which I'm sure must be horrible to look at. Although, it can't be much different from Ron's at the moment. Dean was the first person who I think really loved me. He was also the only person outside Harry that I loved. Even though we didn't get on very well at the end, Dean will always be an important person in my life. His body collapses, like the previous ones. This pattern repeats itself for hours on end. I'm hot, I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, I'm scared. I don't look away. I watch everyone I've ever, briefly, known die, even those I've never spoken to. I hesitated, but as with Hermione, for the sake of those who face death, I have to look at them. I would no doubt see worse in the months to come.
It's all over now. All the muggles-born who fought in the Battle of Hogwarts are dead. I feel myself being pulled forward, Bill has taken my hand and is pulling me with him. I thought we were going back to our detention room, but no, the Death Eaters are taking us to the Great Hall.
It's unrecognisable. All the decoration has been redone, and green and silver are omnipresent. There are now only three tables: the teachers' table, which is always raised and which, according to the people sitting there, is reserved for the most important Death Eaters, the Death Eaters' table and the blood traitors' table. Voldemort sits on a throne adorned with carved snakes. His face is adorned with an icy smile, but the glow of triumph is perfectly visible. We are forced to sit down, many of us staring at the floor. Voldemort stands up and the mangemorts bow deeply, it disgusts me.
"My dear friends, we are now rid of the vermin, the mudbloods who fled will be found and tortured, a team of my faithful servants will look for them. But now it's time to build our new world."
He steps down from the dais and approaches our table, and me, and I can't suppress a shudder of disgust when he stops in front of me and stares.
"Ginny Weasley. So you're the one who, as soon as you're locked up, is already planning not to obey the new system. You'll submit, like all the others. You didn't want to be married, you'll be the first. I'm sure you'll set a fine example."
"I won't do it."
I know it's only a provocation, and I'll probably regret it in a few moments, but I have to resist, I have to show that I won't give in, that, as Hermione has ordered me, I'll never give up, not as long as I live.
"Crucio"
I'm about to receive the full force of the spell, but it's not my body that falls, it's not my screams that echo through the Great Hall.
"George! George! Stop!"
Hearing my brother's screams of pain is one of the worst things I've ever experienced, yet in less than twenty-four hours, so many horrible things have happened. After several minutes, the spell finally stopped.
"The more you resist, the more I'll continue until all your brothers go mad. Does the Longbottoms' fate mean anything to you? I've got plenty to do with your four brothers, and I'm sure my Death Eaters will be just as willing to torture you as I am," he said in a honeyed voice.
Again, tears welled up in my eyes as Voldemort tortured George. I don't want to look weak in front of them, that would give them far too much pleasure.
"Marcus," come here.
I see someone rise from the table of Death Eaters, and I recognise him immediately, it's Marcus Flint, the captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team when I first entered Hogwarts. He smiles evilly and I understand what I'm about to be told
"Marcus will be your husband, and I'm counting on you to make beautiful little purebloods in a few weeks' time, my wand will surely itch if they don't arrive soon enough. Marcus, I'm counting on you to hold her and teach her... good manners. It would be a shame if she forgot her place."
"All right my lord"
He ordered three women to take me to get ready. I saw him turn to the other blood traitors and assign them a husband or wife. I was dragged out of the room by force, screaming and struggling, but nothing helped. The three women drag me into a room I don't know. Before I could grab them, they had me petrified. I can't make a single move. With a flick of their wands, they undress me, I watch them wash me and comb my hair. They put me in a dress, green, silver and black, apparently only these colours are allowed now. It felt like it went on for hours. They put me in front of a large mirror and all I can feel is disgust at the person it reflects. It's not me. This woman with curly red hair, this woman with too much make-up on to hide her scars from the day before, this woman in this dress that I would never willingly wear.
Once again, I'm dragged into the Great Hall. In just a few hours, the Hall has been transformed once again. An altar has been made, the tables have disappeared and there are only chairs for the mangemorts and my comrades. When I walk through the doors of the Great Hall, everyone suddenly stands up, as if this wedding wasn't just a masquerade. I glance at my brothers, the four of them in the front row, who have also been changed. They stare at me, tears in their eyes. Their little sister is getting married. What a day of celebration that should be. Too bad it's a Death Eaters arranged wedding.
When I saw the Death Eaters, the man who was to be my husband, and Voldemort, a thought crossed my mind. I'm relieved that my parents are dead. They're not witnessing my downfall and neither of them is being forced to walk me down the aisle, to sell me to the mangemorts. I couldn't bear that. I walk forward, my head held high but my legs trembling. No one can see it, the dress hides everything. I reach Flint, who's dressed in green Slytherin robes for the occasion. Very surprising, nothing original.
What's the matter with me? I'm being sarcastic when I'm about to be forcibly married. I've spent too much time with George and Fred, they're the only ones who could be making fun at a time like this. I don't listen to what Voldemort says, it's not important anyway. Only his last sentence and the carnivorous smiles of the Death Eaters are engraved in my mind.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife" Voldemort finished.
I'm sitting on a bed, in a room I don't know, in a manor I don't know, and someone I don't know is going to join me very soon. There are only three places where Death Eaters go now. Hogwarts is reserved for Voldemort and his closest Death Eaters. The purebloods aged between eleven and seventeen will continue their lessons in a few days' time, as if nothing had happened, as if we were not prisoners of a terrible plot that is completely beyond us. Then there's Lestrange Manor, home to the Death Eaters who are important, but not important enough to live at Hogwarts. They are responsible for making the existence of wizards known to the Muggles, so as to have full control over them. They kill leaders, governments, spread terror in cities.
Then there are those at Malfoy Manor, where I am. Those who work at the Ministry, who are now in charge of tracking down all the wizards who have escaped their radar. There are also those who are responsible for spreading terror in neighbouring countries, so that they don't forget that they too are in danger. My dear husband is one of them.
He enters the room that is now reserved for us. On the door is written, Marcus and Ginevra Flint. This is not true. They may have married me off to that bloke, but I'll always be a Weasley. No matter how much they sully me, my family name is engraved in my veins, they'll never be able to take it away from me. He points his wand at me and undresses me with a spell. I'm naked in front of him and for the first time since the end of the battle, I'm afraid. He undresses too, slowly, as if he wants me to enjoy the show, but I keep my eyes fixedly downcast.
Before I can make a move, he pounces on me. No matter how hard I fight, no matter how many blows I throw at him, he's much stronger than I am and all his weight is on my body.
"What a lioness. I love it when they struggle, it's always more fun" he whispers in my ear.
He rubs his sex against mine and I scratch him in the face, but that only makes it worse.
"If you push so hard, I'll have to. Impero."
Anything but this, I would have preferred to be petrified and unable to do anything. I try to resist, but it's the first time I've been subjected to this spell, in these conditions, I can't resist, I feel my body moving towards it, but my mind refuses, but the spell is too strong. I let out an "oh Marcus" and I hate myself for it. Even though it's not my fault, I'm under a spell, I can't help but blame myself. We go on like this all night, me obeying his orders and him violently penetrating me.
I've been raped. That's my first thought when I wake up. Even if it wasn't visible to an outsider, I've been raped. I didn't fight back, I didn't struggle against the imperium. I know I didn't mean to do it, but I can't help feeling dirty. I kissed that man, I slept with him, I sighed his name. His first name even. Which just goes to show that it wasn't really me, because I would never have called him that, even under torture. My husband is my rapist. Never, just a few months ago, would I have even thought of saying such a thing. But today it's a sad reality. My rapist, I refuse to call him anything else after what he did to me, is lying next to me, asleep.
I don't know why this idea came to me at this precise moment, or why I had the courage to do it, but at the time it seemed like the best thing I could have done. I moved slowly towards him and suddenly put my hands around his neck. He wakes up suddenly and grabs my hands, as if trying to get free. I keep up the pressure and after several dozen seconds he sinks into unconsciousness. I don't move, and it's only when I'm sure there's no pulse that I release the pressure. That's when I realise what I've done.
I've killed a man. I've killed my husband, I've killed my rapist.
I stand there for a few moments, staring at his corpse, not really realising what has just happened. I've got to pull myself together. I've killed a Death Eater and I've got to get out of here before the others notice. I straighten up and rummage in the wardrobe for some sober clothes that aren't too flashy. I find a Death Eaters' black cloak and slip it on over a pair of trousers and an oversized shirt. I grabbed his wand, which was hidden in the lining of his cloak from the night before. I open the door and glance into the corridor. There's no one there. I sneak out of the room as discreetly as possible. I hope I can find my way around so I can find my way out. From what I observed last night, I'm on the second floor. I go down the stairs, lucky they don't creak. I arrive in a fairly large room, the dining room I suppose, and here again I'm lucky, it's empty. I walk through it, sweeping my eyes over and over again for fear of finding someone hiding in a corner.
I arrive at the entrance and there are two Death Eaters standing in front of the doors. I can't get past them without being spotted. I grab Flint's wand and become disillusioned. I stand in front of the first one and knock him out. As I feared, the other one raises his wand and starts casting blind spells. I stun him and get out of the manor as quickly as possible. I start running and that's when I hear screaming. They must have found the body. I'd hoped it would be later, but given the position of the sun in the sky, it was surprising they hadn't come sooner. I double my pace and broke through the protective barrier of the manor house. I can't disapparate; the Ministry would find me in a matter of seconds. I'm out of breath, the grounds of the manor are very large and running across them is no easy task. But I kept running until a spell hit me in the back.
"Crucio"
I collapse with my whole body, head first into the grass. How could he have turned up so quickly? It must have been only a few minutes between the screams I heard and now.
"I must admit I underestimated you, Ginny" begin the Dark Lord. "I never thought you'd have the guts to kill your husband. Right after the wedding night. I'm very surprised. It seems Marcus wasn't a husband worthy of you, and he paid dearly for it. So I'm going to have to find you another one. However, before the festivities of this second wedding, there's something I must do. I warned you that if you rebelled again, one of your brothers would suffer the consequences. Which one should I choose?"
Only my screams answer him. The pain radiates through every cell of my body, taking away my speech in the process. I don't know how they tracked me down while I was under a disillusionment spell, but I don't have time to think about it. Hogwarts stands before me. I walk forward, trembling, the effects of the cruciatus still present. I'm even more scared than I was last night, before Flint raped me. Because I know that now, it's not me who's going to be attacked, it's not me who's going to be tortured. They're going after my family, what's dearest to me. In case anyone hasn't understood, I'll make it clear: there's nothing more important to the Weasley than family.
I'm led towards the Great Hall, and I tremble as I go. I immediately see my brothers gathered, probably wondering what I've done now. I know that one of them is going to be tortured because of me, is perhaps going to die because of me, and that's incredibly selfish, but I'm incapable of regretting my act.
"Who should suffer the consequences of your act, Ginny? You're spoiled for choice."
"One of your Death Eaters. There are so many of them. Take whomever you like."
The Dark Lord doesn't see it that way and throws the cruciatus at Ron. My brother collapses and starts screaming at the top of his lungs.
I know it's the first one he's taken. Harry and Hermione have already been subjected to the unforgivable, but not him. He suffers so much, but I don't make a move. I know it wouldn't help, wouldn't change his fate, except to make Voldemort more satisfied. My brothers are shocked. I feel Bill's gaze on me, and I can read the reproach in his eyes. I know it's my fault that my brother is being tortured. It's my actions that have led to this torture. But I don't recognize them anymore. They all seem to have stopped fighting, they think they've lost the war, and it's true. But that doesn't mean that hope is dead. My parents are dead, two of my brothers are dead, my boyfriend is dead, my best friend is dead. But we have to keep going. We're going to die anyway, so I'd rather do it fighting for my ideas than being killed because I'm no longer useful. I don't know where their courage went, but mine is there and it resonates in every part of my being. Ron's screams continue to echo through the Great Hall, my brothers continue to stare at me, as if they were standing in front of a complete stranger. I'm sorry to put you through this Ron, but I can't stop and submit. He finally loses consciousness and Voldemort turns to me, curious.
Surely he didn't expect me to remain static for so long, watching the scene like a stranger. The normal reaction of any Gryffindor would have been to rush towards him, to take the spell for him, but I know that would have been pointless. Voldemort wants to punish me. So if I'd thrown myself in Ron's place, I'd have been tortured and so would he. In a situation like this, you have to learn to think and save your strength. Don't think that seeing my brother scream in pain doesn't affect me. It doesn't. But I can't afford to give up, to stop resisting. My brothers have made their choice, I've made mine. From now on, our priorities change, although the love I have for them will never change.
"Take them away. Except the girl."
I feel Voldemort's gaze on me, but I refuse to meet it. He's watching me from every angle, as if I were a brand-new creature he'd just discovered.
"You've grown up a lot since your first year, Ginny. I saw your courage right away, despite your shyness. What a waste to have hidden behind the boy-who-lived all this time. You could have done great things if you'd been born on the right side."
"I was born on the right side."
"Are you sure?"
I'm not answering that. I don't need to. Of course I was born on the right side. I grew up in a loving family that always worked for the good. It wasn't perfect, but it was the best I could have had.
Even if we lost the war, I'll never regret being born into the Weasley family. My family shaped me, but I refuse to believe that if I'd been born into a Death Eater family, I'd have enjoyed torturing and killing. I killed out of necessity, not pleasure, and that's a fundamental difference.
I know he wants to unsettle me by talking about my first year, but I'm not the little girl he once possessed. I've grown up and lived worse since then. It doesn't affect me anymore.
I wait in the dungeons for several days for my sentence. I'm afraid of who will try to rape me again. I don't know who would be worse. Finally, I'm taken to the same bathroom as at my first wedding. They give me the same treatment, I'm dressed exactly the same, as if nothing had changed, as if the last few days hadn't happened. I'm escorted to the main hall, where few people are present. Surely they don't want to give the other blood traitors any ideas. A second wedding four days after the first is bad enough.
Bill and Charlie are present. I wonder where George is. I hope Ron's all right. I don't regret my actions, but I do regret that it was my brother who had to be tortured. My gaze then falls on the person at the altar.
Nott.
The son, not the father, fortunately. He always seemed more isolated from the other Slytherins to me, but if he's in front of me, he must be close enough to the inner circle. Voldemort wouldn't have made the same mistake a second time. As soon as the ceremony is over, he leads me to his apartments. Of course, he lives at Hogwarts. All the most powerful Death Eaters will be able to keep an eye on me. He closes the door and throws me on the bed before I can make a move.
"Let me go! Let me go! You bastard, let me go."
He lies on top of me, and to my surprise, doesn't attack my clothes. He comes close to my ear, and whispers words I never thought I'd hear.
"I'm not going to touch you. They're behind the door. They have to believe it" he continues.
I freeze for a few seconds before meeting his urgent gaze. I obey. For about ten minutes, I pretend to struggle, then he signals me to stop. He leaves the room, re-entering a few seconds later. He casts a spell of silence around us and I stare at him. I don't understand why he pretended. I wait for him to explain.
"They're watching us. I had to make them believe I was raping you. You can speak freely, I've cast a silence spell. He can't stay too long, but it'll be enough for today."
"Why did you do it?"
"Because raping repulses me, Weasley. I never asked to be here, to be a Death Eater, but you have to keep up appearances at all costs. I'm a Death Eater because I have the mark, not because I believe to its ideas."
"But why? I don't understand."
"Father forced me to take the mark when I was sixteen. He's not the kind of man you can say no to. I didn't have the chance to grow up in a loving family, no choice offered to me."
"You could have done something…"
"That's easy to say, Weasley. You weren't brought up to cruciatus at the slightest discontent. Father killed Mother when I was six, so I knew what her tantrums could look like. I wanted to survive, so I became the perfect Death Eater's son. None of us had a choice. But the Dark Lord never suspected a thing. I couldn't believe my luck when they told me I was going to marry you. Well done for Flint, the world's better off without him, but you should have prepared a plan instead of doing it on impulse. Together, we can get rid of them."
I slowly become aware of what Nott is telling me. Who'd have thought the Slytherin would fight his own master. Certainly not me.
"Two against all the Death Eaters, I'm not sure we'll survive for long."
"It won't be just two of us."
"My brothers have given up hope. I don't think they'll help us."
"I'm not talking about them. Draco will help us. Pansy, Daphne, Astoria too. And all the half-bloods."
"Malfoy? Parkinson? She wanted to imprison Harry as soon as he arrived at Hogwarts. And Malfoy allowed Dumbledore's death. And the half-bloods? Weren't they killed?"
"No, they're treated like house elves, but they're very much alive. They're needed to do the jobs the purebloods don't want to do. As for Malfoy, no one regrets his sixth year more than he does. He was afraid for his life and that of his mother. You can't imagine what he went through."
"So tell me about it."
"Malfoy had a childhood similar to mine, a violent father who taught him that purity of blood was the most important thing, cruciatus at the slightest question, and learning dark magic as soon as possible. Then the Dark Lord returned and he stayed with the Malfoys. Draco was terrified, then the year went by and when he returned, Lucius had failed, and He was very angry. So to punish Draco, he forced him to rape Astoria in front of all the mangemorts. She was thirteen. She and Draco had been engaged since they were children, and Greengrass never had any problem sacrificing his daughter. Then he entrusted Draco with the mission of killing Dumbledore."
"Is that why he wants to fight?"
"Partly, yes. He fell in love with a half-blood, and that drastically changed his ideas about blood purity. He's always cared about Astoria, and she too doesn't want to accept this world, not after what they've put her through. Pansy and Daphne… They're scared, of course. They've been raised on the purity of blood, the importance of heirs, but they started to question their upbringing when they realised they had feelings for each other."
I'm stunned by all of Nott's revelations. I never imagined that my classmates would go through all this. I knew that life as a Death Eater's child wasn't supposed to be happy every day, but I was far from reality.
"What made you change your mind about blood purity?"
"Several people. Granger was the first. The fact that she was by far the best everywhere didn't fit in with my beliefs. She should have been weaker, but she wasn' next, he'd been able to hold his own against the lord even though he's only a half-blood. And... Blaise too. Blaise changed the way I looked at everything.
The pain in his eyes, the restraint in his voice…
"You're in love with him."
It's not a question. I already have the answer in his misty eyes. I don't know why I thought of it right away, homosexuals aren't a common sight in the wizarding world, maybe because he evoked Parkinson and Greengrass, maybe because he makes me think of Dean and Seamus, maybe because he has the same pain in his eyes as I do when I think of Harry.
"I'll fight by your side, Nott."
"Theo. My name's Theo"
"Ginny."
He offers me his hand, but I push it away and give him a hug instead. I've found an ally with the same aim as me, the same snarl and with a higher proportion of thinking before acting. Maybe one day I'll even have won a friend.
"We'll have to keep up appearances as much as possible. You're going to have to hate me and let everyone know. We'll have to sleep together. Voldemort wants an heir on the way in four months."
I simply nod. He wanted me to get pregnant with Flint, there's no reason why he can't with Theodore.
The weeks go by and look the same. George is dead. He jumped out of a window the day before my wedding. Ron's dead too. He tried to kill Voldemort, and a Death Eater quickly retaliated. That leaves Bill and Charlie, who are totally apathetic. I don't understand them. We're Weasleys, courage is the quality that unites us all. We have to fight, keep going while we can, even if the hope is slim and the chance of success almost nil. I don't understand the desire to simply survive in a world that rejects us.
The resistance plan is coming together. Theo has discussed it with the other Slytherins, and we're communicating with the half-bloods as best we can, around the bend of a corridor, in the kitchens... As time goes by, I can show more and more that I like Theo, and our exchanges are becoming more and more natural in public. With all the restraint a pure-blood wife should have, of course.
I'm in the infirmary, Pansy is checking me out. She's in charge of monitoring pureblood pregnancies. As I'd feared for a few days, she tells me I'm pregnant. She can see it in my face, that I suspected it, but was hoping I was wrong. I ask her several questions, which she answers as best she can, before giving me one last apologetic look. I pass Fleur on the way out; she's pregnant too. With Bill. From before the defeat. They were able to stay together. That's something at least.
I return to my apartments and wait patiently for Theo to return from his mission. I don't know what he does on these missions. I don't want to know. He comes into the room and immediately sees from my face that there's something wrong.
"I'm pregnant."
His face goes through all the emotions at once, I'd rather not analyze it.
"Is it, um, good?"
"It's not yours."
"Are you cheating on me, Ginny?"
"It's Flint's."
He immediately stops smiling and I burst into tears. Neither of us could have imagined this scenario unfolding.
"Are you sure? It was only a few days apart, is it really that precise? And…"
"Pansy told me the dating was fairly accurate, and I asked to do a test to be sure."
He doesn't answer. I can see he's confused but doesn't dare ask any more questions.
"I want to have an abortion."
He straightens his head and stares at me. I know what he means, that it's impossible, that there's nothing more controlled than births these days, but I stop him with a gesture.
"Pansy says it's possible, she's already done it."
"She's completely mad! Does she know what she's risking?"
"We could all die. She knows it, I know it too. I don't want to carry Flint's child."
"If you get caught, it's worse than death what will happen to you."
"I'm sorry Theo, I've made my decision, it's up to you to accept it."
"I don't want to lose you."
"I know you don't. I don't want to lose you either. But we risk a lot more every day."
I had an abortion two days later. Everyone thinks I miscarried. I get sympathetic and understanding looks from several Death Eater wives, it makes me want to throw up. I pretend to be sad, but I'm seething inside. No one suspects a thing. Miscarriages are common among purebloods because of inbreeding, and no one knows I'm friends with Pansy so there's no suspicion.
We're all working very hard to counter Voldemort. We need to gather enough wands to give to the half-bloods so they can fight alongside us. Theo and Draco are in charge of wand collection, since they're the only ones who can get out of the castle, and Daphne and I are in charge of learning how to undo the spells that restrict wand use, which is much more complex than you might think. Pansy prepares potions that can be used to attack and to heal wounds.
Bill speaks to me again. I don't see much of him, we're not really allowed to be around each other, but he's regained a semblance of fighting spirit. Fleur and the unborn child probably have something to do with it.
Voldemort always seems intrigued by me. I often catch him watching me with a pensive look on his face. If there's one person who doesn't believe in the game of the perfect pureblood bride, it's him. Few people really know what happened with Flint. There were rumors, of course, but they quickly stopped under his orders.
I'm scared. I'm pregnant again. This time with Theo. The legendary fertility of the Weasleys. Or the Prewetts, it comes in both varieties I suppose. I'm nauseous all the time, I'm not very effective at helping the resistance these days. The Death Eaters don't know about it yet, which is for the best.
But the resistance continues to advance. I know it's coming. Almost all the remaining resistance members had wands, and it was only a matter of days before they launched their attack on the Death Eaters.
"You know, whatever happens, I'm happy, maybe that's not the right word, but never mind, to have been through this with you. You've become a true friend. I love you, Gin."
I hold him in my arms. In my pain, I'm also happy to have found Theo. Without him, I don't know if I'd have lasted as long as I did, if my rage would have taken care of itself. Thanks to him, I've dropped my prejudices about Slytherins, I've made friends with Pansy, Daphne, Astoria and Draco. Tomorrow I'll know.
Theo hastily wakes me up. It's early, too early for it to be the resistance attack.
"He summons us. Everyone's summoned."
He looks at me, frightened. It's never a good sign when Voldemort calls all his Death Eaters together. Hurry up, whatever the reason, never keep the Dark Lord waiting. Everyone is there. Many rush to sit down before their master arrives.
The doors to the great hall open and I gasp. Voldemort is followed by two Death Eaters dragging a sickly young woman. I don't dare turn my head towards Theo, but I can feel him searching for my hand, before squeezing it.
"My dear devotees, today is a dark day for our nation. This woman is guilty of the worst possible crime. This woman has killed unborn pureblood children."
Murmurs spread through the room. Everyone looks at each other. I remain unmoved but I can feel Theo's panic beside me, even though he tries not to show it, I know him too well.
"Pansy Parkinson has been tortured to the hilt and will continue to be until her execution. But the women who demanded her atrocities must suffer the consequences. Hannah Abbot. Emma Fawley. Eleonore MacMillan. Ginny Weasley"
He didn't use our married names. Surely he thinks husbands don't deserve to be associated with us. I feel the eyes on me, the Death Eaters pulling me along and I shake Theo's hand one last time, whispering I love you."
We're all lined up on the stage. I wait for him to give us our sentence, for him to speak, but Voldemort doesn't say a word, just watches us, each in turn. I feel his hot breath on my face, making me want to vomit even more.
"Avada Kedavra."
I'm surprised to hear the death spell, I can't see where it's coming from, I don't know who it's attacking, before I see a Death Eater fall in front of me. He's just stopped Voldemort from taking the death spell. What an idiot. The Death Eaters immediately retaliate and find the person who cast the spell.
Astoria. You were so close. Your sister looks at you surprised, Draco is horrified at your body. Voldemort is angry. Without that fucking Death Eater, he was dead, the war all but won.
"Draco, why didn't you stop your wife before she cast that spell on me?"
"I didn't have time, my lord. I was far too shocked by the abominations you've just revealed to look at her."
Voldemort throws the cruciatus at him before turning away and turning his attention back to us. He brings Hannah's husband to the podium and asks him if he knew about her. When he answers in the negative, he asks him to torture her, which he does without concern, until she passes out. The same goes for Emma and Eleonore. I didn't know them, but we're united by the same destiny.
When it's Theo's turn, I'm apprehensive. He has to do things properly. He steps forward, I look him in the eye, asking him to do it, to torture me. Voldemort doesn't even ask him if he knows, he trusts him blindly.
"Go on, Theodore. Show this traitor what she deserves."
"I can't torture her, my lord. I knew about this."
"Theo No!"
"Nott! You traitor! How could you?" says a Death Eater.
"I owe fidelity and loyalty to my wife. I'm with her through thick and thin. I've only done my duty as a husband."
"Theo, shut up! He's lying!"
"You'll understand what happens to traitors."
Voldemort raises his wand, but before he can cast a spell, Pansy draws on her last resources and throws herself to the ground, dragging him down with her. Draco tries to kill him, but narrowly misses his target. Malfoy Sr. reacts, and casts a spell on him before the shocked eyes of the assembly. The Death Eaters grab Pansy and Voldemort kills her on the spot.
"Pansy no!"
Daphne rushes towards her girlfriend, only to be held back by her father.
"Father, let me go! Pansy! Let go of me! I'm not your daughter anymore! I'm a lesbian and I love Pansy! Let go of me!"
Without saying a word, Greengrass raises his wand and kills his daughter.
"My daughter's no slut."
With all the commotion, I was able to get closer to Theo. He no longer has his wand and neither do I, but I want to shake his hand one last time.
"Why did you do it?"
"I can't torture you. I can never torture you."
Voldemort turns to me and I know what awaits me. He won't risk waiting, not after everything that's happened.
"So much wasted potential…"
I don't answer. I see the spell heading my way. My thoughts multiply. For my family, whom I love with all my heart, for the resistance, which I would have helped to the end and which has been stripped of its leaders, and for Theo, who has always supported me and who is risking his life because he didn't want to torture me. My last thoughts are for you Theo. I'm happy to have met you, I love you.
I'm going to die, but I would have fought to the end, like a Weasley, never giving up, and nothing can make me prouder.