He wasn't able to find out anything of importance about Marinette's past relationship—which Tom was okay with when he reported his failures—but didn't bother pressuring her to tell him more. Either she would open up when she was ready or never at all and eventually Pascal would simply be kicked out of the picture. Either way was fine with him.
Chat, on the other hand, was not fine. Marinette had finally gotten to the point where he didn't need to babysit her, despite another hospital scare that only put her bed for a few days, but he was essentially coparenting with her now and all three of them, Erek included, had grown used to a certain…erm…schedule that he didn't always follow. Sudden and unexplained disappearances seemed to concern Marinette, rightfully so since she was completely unaware that he had far more responsibilities but very aware that he was lying about his mysterious whereabouts. And now that she lived with him, he had to be more vigilant than ever—Adrien had to have a somewhat decent alibi to happen to be gone whenever Chat was out fighting, without being Chat himself.
The more time passed, the more he understood Plagg's seemingly odd concerns about Marinette and Erek staying with him…
At least he didn't have to listen to Plagg's obvious complaints as he fought another akuma as Chat. No Ladybug beside him, again…yet, this akuma wasn't the snake—it wasn't Marinette's ex and neither she nor Erek were in danger.
It strangely put him at ease and he felt like he could take his time with this one. But…well…Mr. Pigeon wasn't exactly a threat… He only ever became easier to defeat and why did Hawk Moth keep akumatizing him?! Was Mr. Pigeon becoming a game at this point? Did Hawk Moth get bored and decide to send some entertainment for himself by annoying his enemy? It seemed the only probable reason.
It took mere minutes for Chat to snap the bird call and cataclysm the akuma. Minutes. And that was only because Mr. Pigeon was using his flock to threaten a shower of bird poops. Naturally he'd want to avoid that but it didn't come close to anything that could be considered dangerous… On the upside, no buildings would be damaged this time and no civilians would be injured. They'd all just…need a shower. A long one.
Any other akuma would be a more satisfying victory…but he'd helped Mr. Ramier to his feet a thousand times already. Defeating Mr. Pigeon was never a real victory as it had been in the past. And even that had worn off.
"I'm sorry, Chat Noir…" Mr. Ramier apologized. "I've been trying to control my emotions but seeing my poor birds so mistreated…"
"It's okay, Mr. Ramier," Chat said. "It's my pleasure to serve Paris and keep its citizens safe."
"Pigeons really are smart and emotional animals, you know."
"Perhaps you could start a petition?" Chat suggested. "Give a little piece of the city to the birds?"
Mr. Ramier smiled at the idea but didn't have time to give an answer. Chat heard several footsteps behind him, rushing in while carrying something heavy. He sucked in a quick breath and smiled as he turned around.
"Nadja!" he greeted his favorite newscaster. "It's been a minute."
Nadja and her two cameraman stopped, panting, a short foot away from him and she shoved her annoying microphone in his face.
"Chat Noir, another fantastic battle!" Nadja wheezed.
"Uh…are you okay? You seem winded."
He wished his ring would start beeping soon. He'd been actively trying to avoid media coverage whenever he could. He wanted to get home in case Marinette or Erek needed him. While he no longer needed to monitor her so closely, Marinette wasn't completely out of the woods yet and he preferred to stay nearby. Plus, it would help a lot if Adrien wasn't gone too long—Marinette was entrusting him with her son and if he became flaky and unreliable, it was possible for her to reconsider Chat's decision. He still planned to find a different family for Erek but only after Marinette was gone, so until then the agreement that Erek would stay with him still stood. He didn't want Marinette's kid to be passed to somebody he either didn't know or didn't trust.
"It's just been a little difficult to get a hold of you these days," Nadja answered.
The woman turned towards one of the cameras and collected herself.
"Don't be bemused, it's just the news," she began. "I'm here with Chat Noir, who just defeated Mr. Pigeon once again...without Ladybug."
Mr. Ramier slunk away at the last comment, leaving Chat entirely alone.
Nadja turned back to him and jammed the microphone in his face again, as if the first time hadn't counted.
"Chat Noir, what are your thoughts on the controversial videos on the Ladyblog?"
All the more reason for his ring to start beeping—Plagg didn't need to take his sweet time in there.
"The…um, the videos… Wh-what videos?"
"Surely you keep up with the Ladyblog."
"Oh…yes, I…I-I do."
"And you're not aware of any videos being added by Ladyblog users?"
He swallowed, already knowing where this was headed.
"I…haven't explored the site recently… When did it allow users to post videos again?"
The best he could do was feign innocence and hope this was something about him screwing up…but to immediately bring up the Ladyblog's "controversial videos" suggested this wasn't going to be about him at all.
"Several months ago. Here, watch this."
Nadja spent a moment playing around with her phone before handing it to him and pressing the play button, forcing him to watch Ladybug tackle him to the ground from a rooftop.
"This character here," Nadja continued. "Many people have conflicting opinions about what happened this day and who this mysterious person could be. Would you care to confirm or deny Ladybug's identity in this clip?"
He bit his lip nervously.
"I…I, um…I already did an interview about Ladybug th—"
"Oh, of course, of course!" Nadja laughed. "We'll take this to the studio. Would you be so gracious as to lend us your presence?"
He handed Nadja her phone back and absently said yes…but why did he say yes? He was out of his mind if he thought he could revisit his most recent moments with a woman he didn't even get the chance to touch again… She could've punched him in the stomach and he still would've been grateful. Another punch to the face and he would've considered himself lucky. He wanted to feel her one last time without the only reason being she wasn't able to get out of danger in time. A real touch. No akumas. No battles. No distractions. Nothing forced. A real, honest choice. Maybe he would get a hug…or even a pat on his shoulder… It wasn't exactly in Ladybug's nature to punch him or, erm, try to kill him…but even a handshake would be good enough.
He barely noticed his ring finally beeping as Nadja and her small crew loaded back up into the news van and drove off towards the studio.
All he would have to do was refuel his kwami, who would very likely have many complaints about this stunt. Then Chat would have to keep his word. Something he agreed to without fully realizing what was being asked of him because his stupid mind was trying to block out thoughts of a woman he would never be able to block out.
He used his baton to propel himself up to the nearest rooftop. Surely nobody could see him up here. Surely he was safe. Safe from view. Safe from earshot. Safe from public opinion. Opinions that…that would come very soon.
"Plagg…claws in…" he reluctantly said.
Plagg flew out of that suit in a fit of rage, regardless of exhaustion or hunger or anything else he may have felt.
"ARE YOU JOKING?!" he screeched. "I AM NOT PERFORMING ON STAGE AGAIN FOR LADYBUG FANS TO BE ENTERTAINED! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, ADRIEN?!"
Adrien weakly handed his kwami a slice of camembert. Plagg took it but furiously wolfed down the whole thing in five seconds flat. The emphasis there being strictly on fury rather than hunger.
"I did a dumb thing, I know. I'm so sorry," Adrien mumbled. "I wasn't thinking straight."
"I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH MORE ALCOHOL, ADRIEN! I NEVER WANTED THAT! YOU MISUSED MY POWERS IN THE WORST WAY KNOWING THE DAMAGE COULD NEVER BE REVERSED!"
"I…I know…and I've regretted it every day since…"
"None of this will be like it was last time you went on the news for Ladybug. Don't do this again!" Plagg growled.
"I won't. I swear I won't misuse your powers like that again."
"You better not!"
"I just need Chat for this one interview."
"All the interviews," Plagg corrected. "And I want no part of this one."
"Plagg…please," Adrien begged. "I really need you out there. I can't go as Adrien and…I like feeling less alone…"
Plagg crossed his little arms and stared at Adrien for what had to be a full minute, during which time Adrien remained silent. He did have a lot to say, mostly in an attempt to convince Plagg to cooperate, but he wanted to let Plagg make the choice himself.
And after that minute was up, he did.
"Fine…" Plagg conceded. "I'll do it, but you need to keep your emotions in check and the only thing you get to drink tonight is water."
"Thanks, Plagg. Claws out!"
He could've easily transformed sooner and without Plagg's compliance. He was Plagg's holder, Plagg had no choice but to obey him. But he hated the idea of forcing Plagg to do anything he didn't consent to. It was no different than being imprisoned and he wouldn't wish that crushing feeling on his worst enemy.
Except Hawk Moth, maybe. All the injuries, all the destruction, all the terror…that deserved a lifetime in prison.
He took a nice, long moment to prepare himself…and then leapt off towards the studio, where he would answer a lot of questions he couldn't possibly go over in his head before air time.
He entered the studio with all the confidence and external security he could muster…which probably wasn't much but hopefully it was believable.
Maybe he could get this over with quickly.
"We're at commercial now," Nadja said as he approached the couch directly across from her. "It'll end soon. Are you ready?"
He nodded.
Was everyone else this excited too? Nadja didn't seem totally in character right now. She seemed more hyped. She wasn't even like this during her—their—annual Ladybug interview, during which he would spew the same answers to the same questions. It was unnerving to understand that he wouldn't be able to do that this time.
"Yeah, I'm ready," he answered.
The commercial ended too soon and he could barely focus on what Nadja was asking or talking about, let alone his own replies. But he couldn't stop himself from looking up at the giant screen behind him and being grounded again as videos began playing.
These weren't the same ones he'd seen though. There were news ones—or at the least, ones he hadn't watched.
The most recently added was several hours ago, the camera at a distance with Ladybug…with Ladybug holding her sharp lucky charm at his neck. One jerk away from ending his life on the spot.
Who filmed this?
Why?
It hurt.
He didn't know this was even…
He didn't know what to…
"Chat Noir?" he heard. "Chat Noir?"
He said something but he had no idea what. He was hardly aware that he was talking…
He couldn't so much as move his eyes from that video. They were discussing something in the video, but he remembered this differently from the person filming it. He backed away in the video—this was when he told her he would save her.
He never saved her.
The last he saw of her was her blood on the floor.
Something about all new footage, Nadja claimed excitedly yet…also somewhat somberly.
The video was immediately replaced with either a very steady hand or a still camera that was left next to a window, conveniently pointed outward. This time, it showed what happened after he abandoned her.
At first there was no movement at all on screen, and in fact Ladybug was only visible on the very edge…just barely in view with her back to the camera. Finally her body shook and the knife fell from her hand. She looked to her side and slowly wobbled towards the other edge of the screen, her hand running lightly along a brick wall. She rounded a corner but before she was completely out of sight, he saw her footsteps falter and she fell behind the corner of a building. Her transformation wore off and all that remained on screen were two limp feet barely jutting out.
Which meant Ladybug had been there, detransformed, and hadn't left the scene like he assumed.
More footage…but less excitement… A disclaimer…disturbing to some viewers…
A new video now. This one looked almost like it came from a traffic camera but he didn't have the capacity to care how the Ladyblog could've obtained public security footage.
Ladybug again, this time after the second akuma attack. Everything was wet but the sun was out, so the storm had cleared. This took place after the second akuma attack, when the snake kidnapped Erek. She had already left the building he'd stashed her and Erek in together while he went to finish the battle. By this time, he was likely leading Erek around the building looking for Ladybug.
But this one showed her passing a wide alley between two buildings that may have been either offices or apartment complexes. Something of that nature. Ladybug was rough in this one. She was moving so slowly and her body trembled with each step…each tiny step. She was constantly stopping, bracing herself against anything she could—a lamp post, a wall, anything. She was violently coughing, at one point taking a knee and holding her ribcage with both arms. She was in clearly intense pain with difficulty breathing and while the video was staticky, red flecks could be seen on the pavement below her and a small red streak was running down her chin.
The video cut off and no more were shown on the screen. It was now blank. It was the way it should've been this whole time.
He could understand if the footage came from abandoned cameras or traffic cams, but why in the world would someone record Ladybug suffering and not rush to her aid? Sure…she tried to kill him…and sure…she delayed the snake's defeat…but she was Ladybug. They should've helped her.
Nadja's voice penetrated his swirling thoughts and managed to bring him back to the studio.
"This is Ladybug, correct?" she asked.
He didn't even know how to respond. All he could do was stare at a blank screen in horror. If he said yes…if he confirmed everyone's suspicions…Ladybug could be seen as a villain. And not even an akumatized one, an honest-to-goodness villain. She tried to murder him the first time and she prolonged the storm the second time. Paris would hate her. They would never see her the same way again.
"It's…was…is she is…" He couldn't find the words.
"Are…you okay, Chat Noir?"
"I… I…" What? He what?! All he did was keep chanting the same vowel over and over. "I…"
He felt tears sting the corners of his eyes but he couldn't cry. Chat was not allowed to cry. Chat was in the middle of an interview. Chat wasn't emotional about this.
"I…"
Why wasn't he dumb enough to use a cataclysm after he transformed to have an excuse to walk out of here with a good and understandable reason?
"Did you talk to Ladybug or another person?" Nadja pressed.
"I…f-fake Ladybug…" he choked out.
"Fake Ladybug, could you elaborate please?"
Yes. He could stick to the excuse of a fake Ladybug. He could pretend the Ladybugs shown in these videos were imposters and hope Nadja wouldn't somehow corner him.
"The…Ladybugs shown here…are just people who…who were impersonating the real Ladybug. There was an opening for a Ladybug so a long-time Ladybug fan tried to fill it."
"A…fan?" Nadja asked skeptically.
"She told me she dreamed of being Ladybug."
"And what about the knife? Why did this hardcore Ladybug fan threaten you?"
"Threatening me?" He forced an obviously fake laugh. "You must be confused, Nadja, she was trying to show me how she would've helped Chat Noir take down a more humanoid akuma. A stark contrast from a giant serpent, I know, but this only goes to show you can't rely on something taken out of context."
If he could start to discredit these videos by making them seem completely misunderstood, like a fake image dug up on the internet somewhere, he could possibly get away with stringing along the whole "Ladybug had died" theory the world believed for over a full decade. Ladybug's identity as…well, as Ladybug…would be safe and nobody would try to seek her out or bother her. She could just rest…and maybe, if he was extremely lucky, she would get better.
"What about the sickly appearance and behavior of this fan? It seems odd to me that anyone would step foot outside during an akuma attack if they're passing out and coughing blood…unless perhaps, the real Ladybug had been forced out."
"Forced out of what?"
"Hiding, if I had to guess."
He would have to take advantage of the silence in those videos then.
"Nadja, not to undermine your case for Ladybug coming back, but I know my lady a smidge better than the rest of you do and I know what she looks and sounds like. The girl on those videos wasn't the real Ladybug. I don't think she should've come out if she was sick, I personally think it was a foolish move—and for the record, I did tell her this—but I can't force people to listen to me. She came out the first time I fought the snake, introduced herself as the new Ladybug, and tried to convince me she could help fight akumas too. As you can see from the second video, she didn't take my advice when I told her to get to safety."
It was almost scary how much easier it was becoming to spin this lie. Less and less remorse for lying to the people who entrusted them with their lives on a daily basis. It was like he was reading them a bedtime story.
"Who is this fan?"
He threw an amused arm around the back of the couch.
"Even though she isn't a real superhero, I don't think it would be very nice to reveal her secret identity to others. Sorry, but out of respect, I'll have to pass on that question."
"That's very thoughtful of you, Chat Noir."
Aaaaaand time to dip.
"If there aren't anymore questions, I really should be on my way now," he said.
"There is just one more, actually. Your long-departed partner and former romantic interest—"
Interest? No. Ladybug was never just an interest. But he let Nadja continue without interruption anyway.
"—returned only for you to discover she's an imitation. How would you describe that experience?"
He was entirely not expecting her to ask about his feelings towards that. If Ladybug had been a fake, then he would've felt betrayed…in a way. And then maybe relieved that she wasn't in danger. And then angry and disappointed because this wasn't his lady.
"…Unique…" he muttered.
But seriously…time to go before Nadja really hit a nerve…
"Unique in what way?"
He pulled out his baton and used it to check the time. By this time, Marinette would've reached Pascal's house to drop Erek off for the weekend. He could get back to his apartment in time to decompress before she got back if he left soon.
"As much as I would love to continue this last-minute interview, Nadja, I really must be going. Perhaps we can pick up where we left off some other time?"
He didn't wait for anyone's permission to stand up and take his leave with a polite wave goodbye. He didn't need permission to calmly walk out the doors. And he didn't need permission to run away from that entire building.
His apartment was in a highly convenient location in Paris—one of a few reasons he selected it—so as with the hospital, it wasn't absurdly far from the studio. Normally he might've considered a detour to throw off any followers before going home, but this time he went straight, only bothering to hide behind a building every now and then to be sure he wasn't being watched. But the concept of the fake, nameless Ladybug faded more and more with every step he took in that direction, until suddenly the entire story had fallen apart in his head. A stained glass painting shattering to reveal the actual occurrence underneath. A rug having been yanked back to reveal what he'd swept under it.
Marinette and Erek would also come into the picture. Erek screaming, terrified, and Marinette unconscious and bleeding…and pale…and cold…and hungry…
The kinds of things she would say about her designs, calling them trash and thinking he was ashamed of modeling for her. The anger her father talked about. The uncertainty he had personally seen before he knew about Erek. The new way she would passively aggressively stand up for herself by silently issuing a challenge to someone else, a behavior that used to never be there and not normal.
But also Marinette actively attempting to die in a hospital. Multiple alarms going off too frequently for a short moment of comfort. How she didn't die and stay dead was…just…beyond him. But he was grateful for it.
Then Ladybug…oh, the images of Ladybug… He couldn't get the blood out of his head. The blood on the floor, the blood in the videos, the pain she'd had to push through probably the entire time that akuma battle dragged on… Being physically unable to stand up at times. Barely mobile.
He couldn't decide which was stabbing his chest more deeply: Ladybug or Marinette.
At a few points the two seemed to overlap and Marinette would be wearing Ladybug's suit. The resemblance was…uncanny… In his mind, this wasn't evidence to confirm Marinette was Ladybug…but he hoped she wasn't. He chose to believe it was a coincidence for a number of reasons, the biggest one being that he couldn't watch two people he loved so much suffer and die in the same body…and the second biggest being coincidences happened a lot and he didn't want to accuse Marinette of something that, go figure, wasn't true. And he had seen them side by side before but…well, Adrien and Chat Noir had also been seen together…and Ladybug had allies who could've helped trick him into believing—
Enough. He was just overthinking it at this point.
But the blood, the guilt, the broken promise he'd made…those never left his mind and those weren't overthought at all. Those were real. Those weren't coincidences, those weren't just pieces of evidence or illusions… Ladybug had absolutely been close to death, there was no way she wasn't in that kind of condition, and he'd failed to save her numerous times even after he promised her he would. He promised her he would come back but he found his identity more important than her life. He could've tried to track Ladybug with Erek but didn't. He opted for Marinette, who he hadn't made any promises to. Or he could've found Marinette and then gone after Ladybug. Or when he had free time, instead of visiting Marinette, he could've somehow done a thing to try to see if he could find Ladybug, civilian or not…
Maybe it was just ridiculous but there had to have been more he could've done. Marinette had people with her constantly, he wasn't needed with her for months. But he didn't know who Ladybug had, or if she had anyone at all.
That last thought really killed him…
He finally burst through his door and detransformed. His entire body was burning. Blood boiling. Face red.
"Adrien, we talked about this," Plagg said warningly.
He ignored Plagg and walked to his cabinet, where he proceeded to pull out a bottle of red wine that Marinette used for cooking sometimes—she'd thrown out the rest of his alcohol despite him not being a huge drinker, and he had come to assume from a previous, overheard conversation between her and Pascal that alcohol had been a bit of a problem for her in the past. So he didn't really mind when she disposed of it all…except this one bottle of red wine as a cooking ingredient.
"Adrien!" Plagg scolded. "What do you think you're doing?!"
"You said to keep my emotions in check, right?" he snapped.
"Yeah but not like this!"
"I won't go too far."
"We agreed on water!"
"This is mostly water."
He popped open the bottle and pressed it to his lips before Plagg could object again. It didn't taste the best, he'd definitely had better, but it would do.
All he heard as he chugged that baby down was Plagg complaining and lecturing. He didn't pay any attention to it. He only paid slight attention to wet warmth sliding down his cheeks. He was supposed to be sad or angry or something.
He stopped when his head felt fuzzy, which didn't take long. He'd heard that suddenly and quickly consuming a large amount of alcohol could make people drunk much faster. Drunkenness wasn't his goal…but, admittedly, neither was sobriety. He tended to be bubbly in the early stages. The world was fun and even the bad things could make him laugh. At one point in the past he was out with Nino and they ended up a little tipsy—he more than Nino but still reasonable. Nino mentioned the possibility of his credit card being stolen and Adrien couldn't restrain his laughter.
That exact point was where he needed to be at. Not enough to stumble and slur but enough to laugh at the bad in life. Or in this case at least, laugh away the bad in life. Safely at home, where nothing could be destroyed and he wouldn't misuse Plagg's powers.
He put the bottle away and performed a sobriety test on himself by walking heel-to-toe in a straight line.
"You look like an idiot…" Plagg growled. "You are an idiot."
"I'm good," Adrien said. "Look, perfectly straight."
Plagg's eyes narrowed and he swooped right in front of Adrien's face. The kwami stared at him, not even menacingly, just stared blankly.
Adrien felt laughter start to bubble up from his stomach and stared back. The corners of his mouth started to twitch and he found himself struggling to keep the same expression as Plagg.
"Wow, you're right," Plagg mocked. "You—"
The laughter burst forth and Adrien couldn't stop. It was obnoxious and loud but it probably annoyed Plagg anyway.
"Adrien, how would you be able to function as Chat Noir like this? What if Hawk Moth akumatizes somebody?"
Adrien snorted and said, "That would be pretty bad."
"Start drinking some water…" Plagg muttered.
"I'm fine."
"You told me you'd drink water tonight. I did that stupid interview for you, now start chugging."
Adrien walked past his kwami to fill a glass with water. Personally, he didn't see how the giggles would hinder Chat Noir, but he did make promises to Plagg…
"And what happens when Marinette gets back?" Plagg added. "She expects you to set a good example for Erek. She can change her mind about you. Chat Noir's word isn't final."
"Am I destroying innocent buildings?"
"There's a reason she didn't want alcohol in here."
"It's just laughter, relax. I'll brush my teeth, she'll think I've had a good day, she'll be none the wiser."
"It doesn't matter how minty fresh you are, she's not stupid."
"Of course she's not stupid, that woman is an artistic genius—"
"And very intuitive."
"I'm a grown man, Plagg. She knows that. As long as I'm responsible, I don't think she'll mind."
Plagg crossed his arms.
"She's not your friend or girlfriend—"
"Yuck…"
"—she's a mother looking out for her son. It isn't about drinking responsibly, Adrien, she doesn't want Erek exposed to this."
"He's with Pascal, everything's fine."
Plagg growled and rubbed his temples, as though he was stressed out just from the sight of Adrien chuckling. The kwami opened his mouth to speak but the door opened. Plagg hightailed it into Adrien's jacket just before he could be seen by an irritated Marinette.
She slammed the door behind her, eyes turned to the floor, and mumbled angrily to herself. It wasn't uncommon for her to return with a chip on her shoulder after seeing her ex, but this time she would look at him and as Plagg predicted, know what he'd done.
He tried to down the rest of the glass as quickly as he could.
She dropped her purse on the kitchen counter and sighed heavily.
"It's shellfish," she groaned.
He felt a few chuckles trying to squeeze their way out but a sense of fear kept them choked down.
"So, uh, did everything go okay? Did you guys go out to eat, maybe?" he asked.
"Hah!" she scoffed. "Wouldn't that be nice, right? Eating out as a family again instead of reminding a father of the one allergy his child has!"
"Is Erek okay?"
"Erek's fine…it's just some stuff with Pascal," she answered. "Don't worry about it."
He hated when she told him not to worry about something. Once or twice was fine but she did it so frequently it was like she was implying he was wrong for him to be concerned. He knew her story with Pascal ran deep and he was perfectly okay with not knowing any details about what they did and said whenever they talked or met up, but he at least wanted her to acknowledge that he cared about her without being invalidated.
She finally looked up, veering her train of thought away from her ex, and was immediately surprised when she saw him.
"Adrien, are you okay?" she asked, sincere concern in her voice.
"Of course. Why?"
"You look like you've been crying," she answered.
At least she didn't catch on to drinking.
"Oh, right, I just…um…"
"What's wrong?"
That last video Nadja showed him replayed in his head and he felt tears sting the corners of his eyes. He doubted she could see them so he tried to keep the waterworks at bay. It wasn't easy with images of his lady taking what was more than likely her final steps.
"Nothing's wrong."
She approached him, took his empty glass from his hand, and set it on the counter beside them.
"Come on."
She gently took his hand in hers and led him to the couch.
"Sit," she said.
He did as told but only to appease her—if she found out he'd been drinking, even if it was only barely enough to get him buzzed, he had a lot to lose.
"Try to sleep."
She gave him room to move around and adjust for comfort. He lay down on his back and hung one leg over the side of the couch, but didn't expect her to climb on top of him. She stopped at a certain point and rested her head against his chest. At first glance it appeared to be a romantic advance but she didn't go any further. There was something comforting about this, about having her lay on him without any funny business and without wondering if she saw him as anything more than how he saw her. Just a friend offering physical reassurance to him. Didn't even know the problem but trying to help anyway. Classic Marinette.
He put a casual arm around her back and let his head relax against the arm of the couch.
For a while both of them were silent. It was enough to lull himself to sleep, focusing on the rhythm of two heartbeats and the gradual synchronization of two chests rising and falling. He hadn't had much alcohol but he drank so infrequently that his low tolerance allowed him to doze more peacefully. Paired with the presence of a woman he genuinely valued—with or without any physical contact—it was a pleasant environment.
His mind faded in and out of reality for a bit before finally settling into a dream. A beautiful dream with Chat Noir and Ladybug…
"My lady," he greeted as he bowed to Ladybug atop a roof in the city.
"My kitty," she returned playfully.
"You look stunning as usual; shall we?"
"Why haven't you joined me on patrols lately, Chat?" she asked as she readied her yo-yo.
She shot off before he could answer—had he been missing those? He couldn't remember a time when he'd ever ghosted her.
His heart skipped a beat when he realized how far she'd already gone without him and he lunged after her with his baton.
Why was he so worried?
He followed her over multiple buildings and eventually landed on top of the hospital. He recognized this distinct hospital more than others…like he was overly familiar with it. It was the closest one to the park.
He…hated this hospital…
Why did he hate hospitals?
No. Not hospitals. Just this one.
"Kitty?" Ladybug said. "What's wrong?"
"I just… I…don't know…" he answered truthfully.
He held his forehead and tried to think harder.
Was this place important?
"What's wrong?" she repeated.
A sense of trepidation suddenly washed over him.
"You're not supposed to be here," he said. "W-We need to leave. I have to get you out."
Before Ladybug could protest, he scooped her up bridal-style and propelled them away from that dreadful place. He couldn't remember where he came from, but somehow he knew exactly where to go. For some reason the window to an empty house was wide open, not even curtains to hide the inside, and he carried Ladybug through that.
"Why did you take us back home?" she asked. "We weren't done patrolling."
Right, right…this was their home. How could he have forgotten that? And why was the house empty? It wasn't supposed to be empty.
"Daddy!" a small voice piped from somewhere inside the house—somehow he knew it was coming from a bedroom.
He followed the sound, hearing Ladybug's footsteps behind him. He knew this voice. The voice of a young child, the voice of a little girl who belonged here.
"Hello?" he said.
A miniature Ladybug suddenly burst out of the nearest bedroom and threw herself at him.
"Daddy!" she squealed. "Did you and Mommy beat the bad guys yet?"
"The…bad guys?"
"Yeah!"
Ooohhhh… The bad guys they just fought…the bad guys…they just… When did they fight anyone?
"Oh, uh, yes," he said.
"I don't have to be Ladybug anymore," a hollow female voice—Ladybug's fading voice—said behind him.
He turned around to find the woman he loved smiling a very soft, tender smile. Almost…a goodbye smile.
"Isn't this what you wanted, Adrien?" she asked innocently.
"N…n-no…" he whispered.
He reached out to her, his ungloved hands gripping her upper arms.
"Don't go," he added.
Her smile seemed to soften even more and her expression became sadder—sadder for him.
"Oh, kitty…" she sighed. "I'm already gone."
He felt his heart drum wildly against his chest and in a last ditch effort to make her stay with him, safe and secure, he pulled her close.
"Stay."
His vision blurred with tears, his eyes burning and his stomach dropping to his feet. He closed his mouth over hers. He had to let her know he loved her. He wanted a family with her. A life with her. A home with her. She knew that, right? She had to.
He became vaguely aware of the taste of her lips. Strawberry lip gloss…just like she used to wear…
But…the taste was…realistic…
Everything else was more or less surreal…
He slowly opened his eyes. Through the tears, he saw Ladybug's beautiful face begin to fade away like a ghost disappearing. But…it didn't fade entirely… Her face went from tender to shocked and he felt Chat Noir and Adrien begin to overlap each other. He could feel himself bordering the conscious and unconscious world, slipping in and out of both as Ladybug's shocked expression gradually morphed into Marinette's.
Marinette's…
MARINETTE'S.
His brain slapped itself awake and he was miraculously able to register reality. He was awake. He was still holding a woman's arms. He still tasted strawberry lip gloss. He still saw Marinette.
He released her and she immediately recoiled and slapped a hand over her mouth.
"I'm so sorry!" he choked out.
She shook her head and stared at him for a moment.
"Are…a-are you…are you okay?" he asked. "D-Did I hurt you?"
He glanced at her arms. No red marks. Her face could put a tomato to shame but she wasn't struggling to breathe and she wasn't crying. She didn't seem physically harmed but…
She lowered her hand and shook her head again.
"I, uh, I…I…uh…" she stammered. "I…didn't mean to..."
She bolted for the bedroom with that last comment and slammed the door shut. He wasn't sure if she was angry at him—she had every right to be—or if she just needed to get away from him for a while.
He sighed in frustration and sat all the way up. When he put a hand over his face, he felt wetness all over.
He'd been crying.
Right in front of Marinette.
As he was kissing her.
"What was that?!" he angrily hissed to himself.
"You kissed her!" Plagg chided. "I knew it, I knew this was a bad idea! Letting her live here was the worst thing you could've done!"
"I kissed her…" he groaned.
"I saw!"
"I didn't mean to do that to her, Plagg," he explained. "I was dreaming about Ladybug a-and we were married with a daughter and a home and she said she was going but I couldn't let her go so I kissed Ladybug in my dream and…a-and I…I don't know how it happened! I woke up and somehow Marinette was in Ladybug's place!"
He growled at the memory, the image of an imaginary Ladybug overlaying a very real Marinette.
"What is wrong with me?!"
"Actually—"
"Ugh! Plagg! She already had a bad relationship with a different man!"
"Well—"
"What if I did something to her…y-you know…mentally?"
"I—"
"What if I brought up something from the past and she couldn't handle it?"
"Adr—"
"What if she starts associating me with that?!"
"ADRIEN!" Plagg aggressively whispered, clearly trying to out of Marinette's earshot. "I think I might've…erm…"
"Might've what, Plagg?" Adrien asked accusingly. "What did you do?"
"I…uhhhh…y-you see, we kwamis can—to a certain extent, mind you—"
"What did you do?!"
"I influenced that dream…" Plagg confessed.
"What do you mean 'influenced'?"
"I…sort of planted an idea for a dream like that about Ladybug—"
"You did all this?!"
"No! Well, no, sort of, in a way."
"Explain yourself right now or I swear, I'll lock you inside the miraculous and you'll never get out again, consequences be damned!"
"Hawk Moth—"
"Then you better hurry up and tel me what you did, Plagg!"
He pinched two fingers over his ring for emphasis, genuinely prepared to trap Plagg for the first time in his life.
"Okay!" Plagg relented. "Okay, fine. This whole thing with Ladybug was getting out of control and you weren't thinking about the people who you said matter a lot to you. Not Marinette, not Erek, and you justified bad decisions until Marinette walked in on you. So I did what I thought was best for you—and only you—by waiting until you were relaxed enough for me to help you sleep…and the alcohol kind of did most of the work on that. Anyway, after you were asleep, I influenced your subconscious to produce a dream about Ladybug. I didn't know you'd also conjure up a kid and a home but I was the one who tried to take Ladybug away from you in your dream by making her say she was already gone. I just wanted to give you some closure so you could finally move on."
"You—"
"I'm not done!" Plagg said. "I think…I went too far. At the end, you seized control of the dream and I was unable to manipulate it anymore. Ladybug was supposed to go away but you refused to let her…and…in doing so…you acted on the desires in your dream…but…in the waking world you…"
Plagg made a quick noise of discomfort before continuing.
"Y-you…you weren't ready to let Marinette go either…so you grabbed her the way you grabbed Ladybug…you told her to stay…and before she knew what was going on…you, um…"
He leaned back into the couch as he let that sink in. Was that Plagg's fault? He had never acted out his dreams before, at least not to his knowledge. Plagg's control had been shoved aside by the time he latched onto Marinette. How tight was his grip on her? Had she been scared? Maybe Pascal wasn't abusive like he initially thought, but at one point Marinette had loved the man enough to have a child with him and was betrayed. What if she would come to see Adrien the same way? Would she think of this as some form of betrayal? She had placed a great deal of trust in him. She wasn't open about her past but she wasn't distancing herself anymore and that was a huge step forward.
"Ooohhhh man… Plagg, what have I done?"
"Maybe it wasn't Ladybug you were telling to stay in your dream…"
"What are you talking about? She was right in front of me, I spoke directly to her."
"Yeah…you did that in your dream but what if Ladybug was just a symbol?"
"A symbol of what?"
"Adrien…you told her she didn't belong at a hospital…you said you had to get her out of there," Plagg said. "I saw everything that happened. You followed Ladybug to the hospital. You followed Marinette to the hospital. You took Ladybug back to your home. You took Marinette back to your home. Ladybug had a child. Marinette has a child. You almost lost Ladybug. You almost lost Marinette."
Adrien looked at the ground for a second. Plagg had a good point there. He hadn't thought about that at all but the things that happened in his dream—a dream in which Marinette was completely absent—were all things that he'd gone through with Marinette in reality.
"So you're saying that…my dream replaced Marinette with Ladybug," he mumbled. "But that's absurd. I love Ladybug and Marinette's just a friend. I wanted to marry Ladybug, Plagg. We were going to have kids and a home and we were going to have a hamster named—"
"Kid!" Plagg interrupted. "Calm down."
"All I'm saying is, I don't love Marinette."
Plagg scoffed sarcastically.
"We both know you wouldn't have gone this far for Alya."
A/N
WOOP. WHAT. WOAH.
Another 20 pages, by the way. I made sure to work a little on this fic each day on vacation, then finish the chapter up these past few days when I've had the time. Hope the quality was acceptable, at least. Let me know your thoughts!