"My life was awful. Shitty to be exact. I was wrongfully abused. Constantly framed. Accused of so much shit. I thought God was against for no reason. Then I met him...Terry, a guy from a small neighborhood known as Peach Creek, who was just as much of an outcast as I was.
I felt so understood when I was with him. We were partners in crimes. The world was so cruel to us, we began to turn our backs against it. Oh, how a fool I was.
Once, he left me to take the fall. I relied on him so much, yet I didn't expect him to betray me like that. He has done one of the shittiest things and forced me to take the blame.
My punishment? A bullet to the head."
Standing in front of the imp was a sinner, with a red fox-like appearance, and an X on her forehead, symboling the shot wound. She had short black hair, and black eyes with red slit pupils.
Her attire insisted of a black shirt with white Xs, a red flannel skirt, dark red fingerless gloves, and black leggings.
The imp was Blitzo, a tall imp with large black-and-white horns, bright red skin, and a patch of white over the left side of his face. He had yellow eyes with red pupils, and on his forehead was a heart shaped skull-like mark.
He wore a black suit with black fingerless gloves, with a round yellow appendage on each one, and wore a red skull necklace.
"So, you want us to track down your ex?" Blitzo raised a brow, not really caring.
"Why else would I be here,Blitzo?" The sinner growled.
"Hey, the O is silent now, bitch!" Blitzo growled. "Second, you said your death was like...how long ago? Eight years?"
"I know he's still alive," the sinner crossed her arms. "If he was, he would be down here in Hell, and I would've bumped into him already."
"So, Terry, huh?" Blitzo scoffed. "An ex who left in ya for shit?"
"Yes," the sinner growled in irritation. "It may have years but I still remember where he lives. I'll can text you the address, that if you want to agree to the deal."
"Oh, I'll take the deal alright," Blitzo smirked as he stood up from his desk. "That is, if you have the cash."
"Have it right here," the sinner replied, holding up a big duffle bag. "But I have to warn you. He lives in Peach Creek. In the Cul-de-sac. I lived there long enough to see the kind of weird shit there."
Blitzo laughed, not taking the sinner seriously. "Bitch, please. We're assassins. We've seen messier shit before. Some teeny neighborhood shouldn't make a difference."
"Okay, maybe I was wrong."
Blitzo didn't quite expected it when he, Moxxie, and Millie arrived. The three imps seen a lot of shit, but this was surprisingly a new level.
They arrived in middle of the neighborhood, where they got a good look at whatever went down. So many debris scattered across the ground. A balloon tied onto a brick, a bag of cement ripped open, and bucket of black paint filled out onto the floor.
On the fence, was the shape of a young girl splattered in black paint.
There was more and more debris scattered. Even more so, a tree have been somewhat chopped down, blocking the path in front of them.
"What the fuck happened here?" Moxxie questioned, a bit disturbed. He was an imp with light red skin, white freckles, white hair with jagged black and white horns, yellow eyes with black pupils, and a black suit with a red bowtie.
"I've seen weird shit, but this is a new level," Millie murmured. She was a bright red imp with short black hair, short black horns with white lines, and she wore a black shirt with yellow buttons and scraps. She wore shredded black jeans.
"Doesn't matter now," Blitzo shook his head, as he began to climb over the tree. "Let's just get this shit over with."
As soon as he made it across, Millie began to climb over as well. "I'd like to get the job done as soon as possible," Millie said, as soon as she got across. "Before...whoever caused this comes back."
"Sir," Moxxie started, climbing over the tree and taking his wife's hands, who began to help him get down as he got across. "The client knows where the target is, right? We gotta know which house to go to."
"Don't sweat it, Mox," Blitzo rolled his eyes as he pulled out his phone. "The client already sent a picture. We know exactly where to go."
Moxxie and Millie looked at the phone. The picture was of a small house, pink and with a brown roof, some blinded windows, and a garage.
"That's it?" Moxxie raised a brow.
"Well, I suppose a house like that shouldn't be too hard to find," Millie put in.
"Exactly," Blitzo smirked as he put his phone back in his pocket. "This should be simple, MM. We find the house, we find the target, we do the job, get home, and we get paid. No way, this should be so fucking difficult."
"Here's the house."
The three imps made it to the backyard of the house they were destined to for the target. As they walked around, they passed the blinded windows.
They froze when they heard something. "Quick, my brother's room!" Then, followed by the opening of a door, someone slamming into the wall, and taking off running.
"He must know we're here," Moxxie theorized.
"Well, hiding's not gonna help him," Blitzo said with low growl.
The plan was in motion, the three imps got to the front of the door, and upon realizing it was locked, started pounding down with their fist and Millie's axe.
After finally forcing the door open, the imps made their first move, running up to the stairs in an attempt to find their target and corner him.
"He doesn't have anywhere else to run," Blitzo growled as he and his employees paced through the hallways. As they walked, Moxxie stopped and noticed something.
One of the walls looked rather...odd. It was more loose and tingly, as if it was a big sheet of paper covering something that was behind it.
"What's the hold up, Mox?" Blitzo, who noticed that his employee was distracted all of a sudden, approached with an impatient demeanor.
"There's something...off about this wall, sir," Moxxie told him before realizing upon further inspection. "Wait a minute."
The shorter imp then grabbed onto the loose wall, and tore it up. Just as he suspected, it was just a big sheet of paper, covering what seemed to be a black door.
"Well done, Mox!" Blitzo said with glee, slapping the imp's back. "Keep doing shit like that, and you'll end up getting to be employee of the month once again!"
"No problem, sir," Moxxie began to rub at his back. The slap hurt a little, but he was still flattered.
Blitzo then turned to Millie, who approached with her axe in hand. "Care to do the honors, Mils?"
The female imp formed a toothy grin. "With pleasure."
Millie pounded on the door with the axe, before eventually breaking it open, and leaped out. She pounced onto the target and just as she raised her axe, she froze.
"IT WASN'T MY FAULT! HONEST!"
The person underneath her wasn't the target, but a human boy that seemed to be about twelve years old. He had pink skin, and was wearing a yellow shirt with a red stripe, blue jeans, and red sneakers.
As Blitzo and Moxxie made their way in with their guns out, they were surprised to see not one, but three kids, including the one Millie had pounced on and mistaken for the target they were hired to kill.
The other kids were horrified, just as much as the one beneath Millie was. One of them was wearing a black ski hat, a messy orange shirt covered in dirt, and butter, purple shorts, red socks, and blue sneakers.
The other one was tall with yellow skin, a mono brow, and wore a green jacket underneath a white and red striped shirt, blue jeans and black shoes.
It took the imps a lot of time to process it. As Moxxie tried to piece things together, Blitzo whipped out his phone and looked at the picture of the target the client had sent him.
The target, Terry, wore a baseball cap, and wore white and yellow jersey with the number 62 on it. Blitzo looked between the target and the boy Millie had pinned down.
The two looked rather similar, but before he could make a response. "Sir, none of these are the target."
"Yeah," Millie thankfully stood up, getting off of the kid that resembled their target and making her way to where her boss and husband. "We could have sworn the target was some big shot with a jersey and not some kid."
"Jersey?" The three kids, while horrified, were confused at the statement.
"Yeah, Terry," Blitzo marched up to the three with a look of irritation. "Where is he?"
The one with the yellow shirt was surprised. "My brother? What do you want with him?"
"This is our business," Blitzo hissed. "If you're his brother, then you should know where the fuck he went."
His low tone seemed to somewhat further frightened the kid. "He left a long time ago," the one with the ski hat trembled. "We don't know where he went."
"Are you fucking serious?!" Blitzo growled.
Seeming as his boss's anger was only scaring the boys even more, Moxxie tried to smooth the situation over. "Sir, we should head back. We're not gonna get anything out of scaring them."
"Don't tell me what I should-" Blitzo was on the verge of snapping when they all heard something. The stomping. This frightened the three boys more, more when they heard what sounded by angered cries.
"Dammit!" Blitzo cursed. "Moxxie, we've blown our cover!"
"Well, get Loona to open up a portal, sir!" Moxxie strained. "Those three already saw us, we don't need to get spotted by more."
"I'm working on it, Moxxie!"
As Blitzo quickly phoned his daughter, Moxxie and Millie pulled out their weapons, ready to face down the incoming threat. That is until they saw them. More kids, same age as the other three.
Yet, unlike them, these kids had the most gruesome of injuries. One of them had severe burns. One had parts of her shaved off, and put into some magic box. One had a bear trap on his head, and a mouse trap on his finger.
The most gruesome of all? One of them had multiple bite marks, on his arm, torso, and stomach. Eventually the three got the portal and quickly made their escape.
"Welp, that was an disaster."
Soon as the imps got through the portal, they stopped to take their breaths from the whole ideal. While Millie and Moxxie were relieved, Blitzo was more pissed off.
"That was a fucking waste of time!" Blitzo snapped. "We were supposed to find the target, off him, and get paid, but he wasn't even there!"
"Sir, the client explained that she died like, years ago," Moxxie spoke. "The possiblity of the target relocating or not was running thin."
"I don't need your input, Moxxie," Blitzo snarked. "Because the client was offering us a good amount of money for this kill, and now we can't even get it unless the client knows where else he could've ran off to."
Loona was scrolling through her sintragram page on her phone, not really paying attention to the heated anger of her father as she sat in her desk. She looked up out of curiosity, and her eyes shrunk in surprise.
Unknown to Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie, the three kids they encountered were in the office, having landed on the table. "Um, guys?" She started, a little nervous.
It went on deaf ears as Millie tried to calm down her boss. "Don't worry, Blitz, it's just one screw up," she placed a hand on his shoulder. "Perhaps next time won't be such a bust."
As the kids sat up, the one in the yellow shirt and the one with the ski hat suddenly stiffened, thread written on their faces. The other one laid his eyes on Loona first, and instead of fear, his face lit up with excitement.
"Puppy!" He cried out in joy as he started making his way to Loona.
"Guys.." Loona started, her tone a bit louder.
"At least it's wasn't Moxxie fault this time," Blitzo grumbled.
"GUYS!" Loona screamed before Moxxie could object to that remark. The three imps turned, and immediately froze before they could question.
One of the kids they ran into while looking for the target had pulled Loona into a deep hug, patting her head while chanting, "pet the puppy, pet the puppy, pet the puppy!"
"What the-" Blitzo screamed, as just as he was about to confront the kid for touching his daughter in such a way, he heard a timid voice.
"Hello?"
He turned and saw the other kids, being stared down by a surprised Millie and Moxxie.
"You followed us?!"
After prying the yellow one off of Loona, the kid in the ski hat started to explain the situation at hand once Millie questioned them. Apparently the three decided that instead of staying behind, the yellow kid wanted to follow them, dragging the other two with him.
Blitzo was on his office at the moment, talking with the client that hired them. Blitzo was so pissed off, that he'd rather not waste his energy and just left the interrogations to MM.
"We had no choice, okay?" The short one spat out. "Did you not see those guys. They were gonna beat us to a pulm, and there was no other way out!"
"And you thought following a bunch of demons through a portal was a good idea?" Moxxie deadpanned. "If you did that with anyone, that would've gotten you killed."
"Well, either that or face the music," the short one crossed his arms.
"They do have a point, Eddy," the one with the ski hat stammered. "They don't look human. It was a dangerous move."
"Oh, would you rather have your face pounded in, sockhead?" The short one, Eddy, snipped, jabbing a finger into his friend's face.
"Of course not!" He shook.
"Hold up," Moxxie waved his head to get the three's attention. "Those kids...they looked rather... disfigured. Not to mention the mess we saw when we first arrived. Did you three have something to do with that?"
"Well..." the one with the ski hat stammered, but due to the imps' stares, he finally sighed in defeat. "Yes. It was one of our scams...it backfired."
Millie blinked a few times in disbelief. "A scam caused all that?"
"It was a magic show," the yellow one commented.
"It was the biggest one we've ever created," the one wearing the ski hat admitted. "But no one was supposed to get hurt."
"Yeah, I never wanted to hurt anybody!" Eddy protested. "The scam wasn't even supposed to go wrong."
"Well, I can see why those kids want to beat the crap out of you three," Millie spoke. "Those injuries were serious. Life threatening. Could've put them in the hospital."
"Well, you got away," Moxxie shook his head, flicking his tail. "I can say that. Still, those kids... I can't really blame them for being so angry."
Eddy sweated a little. "Maybe it'll blow over soon."
"I wouldn't be too sure about that."
The imps and humans looked at Loona, who was still in her desk. The hellhound was clicking away at her phone and looked up. "I mean, from what I was told, the shit wounds are pretty bad. If we decide to just let you go and pretend this all never happened, what's stopping them from ripping you apart?"
This made the Eds nervous. Sweat poured down Eddy's skin, and the other trembled. "Beating bad for Ed, Eddy!" The yellow one screamed. "What are we gonna do?!"
"She's right," the one wearing the ski hat panicked. "If they let us go, there's no mercy from their wrath!"
The two imps watched as the three kids panicked, and glared at Loona. "Nice going, Loona," Moxxie growled in irritation.
Loona rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. Better than sending them off on their own. They won't stand a chance here by themselves. They'll get fucked up by an overlord or demon royalty."
As the one wearing the ski hat paced around in his panic, he looked out the window. Something wasn't right. The skies were bright red, and he was staring at what seemed to be a city of some sort.
"Um, miss?" He turned to face Millie. "Where are we exactly?"
Millie, alongside Moxxie, saw that he was looking at window, and it occured to them that none of them realized exactly where they were.
"Um...well," Millie started trying to find a better way to explain. "I don't know how to tell you this...but... it's kinda hard to explain. You see-"
"You're in Hell, smartass!" Loona barked form her desk.
"W-what?" The one in the ski hat stammered.
"Seriously, Loona?" Millie cursed under her breath.
"Look, I don't care what you do with them," Loona snorted. "If we decide to keep them around, then they'll have to get used to the fact that they're in literal hell."
The kid started to hyperventilate. While the other two were still panicking, the fact that they were in Hell didn't seem to bother them as much as the one in that hat.
"Hey, now.." Moxxie started, trying his best to calm down. "Try to relax. Can you give us your name?"
The kid was silent for a moment, then complied. "Double D. Those two are my best friends, Ed and Eddy."
His gestured to his friends that were at the table. Moxxie smiled. "You can call me, Moxxie. This is my wife, Millie, and you already met Loona and our boss, Blitz."
Double D pulled his knees up to his chin. "I can't believe it. We're hunted down, we're in Hell. And all this because of a scam? Where did we go wrong?"
"Hey now," Millie spoke, placing a hand on Double D's shoulder. "We don't know what to do with you, but maybe we can work something out."
"You know...maybe this won't be so bad..." Eddy suddenly spoke up. This caught everyone's attention, and they were shocked and/or surprised by what he said next. "Maybe instead of going back, we can hang around."
"Wait, wait," Double D stood up. "Are you saying...we stay down here...in Hell?"
"Just until things cool down, sockhead," Eddy rolled his eyes. "Give it like six months, maybe a year. Soon, those chumps will forget why they were even mad in the first place, and then, it's back to endless scamming."
"Eddy..." Moxxie started. "Scamming is what caused this mess, so I wouldn't recommend going back to it by the time things are normal. Second, I'm not entirely sure letting you three stay here is a good idea. Humans, especially children, don't necessarily have the best of luck down here."
"We can just hang out here," Eddy lit up, pointing out to the building they were in. "Chill until everything's not so bad."
"Will there be puppies like that one?" Ed asked, pointing at Loona.
She growled in response. "Hellhound."
"Sure, Ed," Millie chuckled a bit at his enthusiasm.
"You sure you want to stay here, Eddy?" Double D asked, a bit uncertain.
"It's better than going back and risk running into those guys," Eddy snipped. "Besides, we might grow to like it here."
"I...hope you're right."
"So...MM tells me you're dealing with some shit back home."
The imps told their boss about the Eds' decision. At first he was against it, but then Moxxie explained the scam and the aftermath, and the three needed to go into hiding until things cooled down.
And Hell was a great place to hide. So with that, Blitz went to talk to the three eds. Double D sheepishly held his arm. "Yes.. unfortunately."
"So, scam went wrong, nearly killed some assholes, and now they want you on their hit list," Blitzo spelled out. The three nodded.
"Well, color me fucking impressed," Blitzo smirked, much to the the Eds' surprise. "If your scam went that fucking wrong, then that only means one thing. You're really dangerous enough to become real assassins."
"W-what?" Double D stammered, a bit shock.
"Welcome to I.M.P.," Blitzo gladly announced. "Here, the sinners all have a score to settle. So they come to us, so they can enact their revenge. We go up there, kill the bastard they want us to kill, then we get paid."
"Wait, people hire you to kill people?" Edd trembled.
"Yeah, dipshit, didn't I just explain it to you?" Blitzo deadpanned.
"I don't know..." Double D murmured.
"Look, you three are dealing with shit, and so far, staying with us on the down low is your only preferable option," Blitzo pointed out. "If you wanna stay here, then you work for me. Otherwise, it's either on the streets, or we send you back to the living world, your choice."
The Eds were given time to think. Ed was wondering a variety of comic books. Some were about demons, so it really intrigued that he was in a world full of them.
Eddy didn't care if he had to be assassin to stay. The cul-de-sac kids were after him, so if he wanted to stay as far away from them as he could, staying here in Hell under the shelter of these imps was his most preferred choice.
Double D was caught in between. He didn't want to be assassin, but at the same time he needed shelter. If he were to return home, he'd just end up with the fate his friends would've had if they also made the same choice as him.
The Eds made their decision. "Yes."
"That's the spirit!" Blitz said as he wrapped his arms around the three's shoulders. "Your job starts tomorrow. MM will get you started on your skills and Loonie can get you three uniforms while they're at it."
Double D sighed. "I just hope it's not something we'll regret."
"Relax, sockhead," Eddy assured. "I think we're gonna love this."
"Ed wants to see more of Hell, guys!" Ed happily exclaimed.
And that was how the Eds' lives changed thanks to some imps' interference.