To Riordanlover16- They weren't trying to strap her down, just trying to hold her still so she didn't run/hurt herself/hurt someone else. They were trying to sedate her, but it wasn't working for unspecified reasons :P
To DaughterofApollo- hello! I'll keep Percy alive if I keep getting reviews ;)
Annabeth, for once, was wrong.
Leo walked back in about lunchtime, bringing a basket of fresh sandwiches and chips and a Louisa that hadn't killed him. Nor, going by her smile, was she going to kill him any time soon.
"Strawberry and chocolate spread," he said, passing Annabeth a neat napkin-wrapped parcel. Annabeth stared at him. "What?" She glanced at Louisa and then back at him, eyebrows raised.
"Wizard."
"Oh." Leo laughed. "I'm just super clever." Behind him, Louisa groaned, rolling her eyes. Leo waggled the parcel. "I'll swap you one disgusting sandwich for one disgusting baby."
"No, I changed him."
"I'll swap you one disgusting sandwich for one beautiful baby," Leo corrected. Annabeth obliged. Bradley had woken up about an hour ago, needing a change and a feed. Leo's baby bag had been well-stocked. She had heated a bottle of milk in the Big House's kitchen, helping herself to a Mars bar or two.
She had been entertaining Bradley with Top Ten Misadventures by Uncle Percy. He was quite content to sit on her knee, making haphazard grabs for her hair. That all changed when he heard Leo's voice, turning his wobbly head this way and that to locate his papi.
Leo beamed, exchange completed. He swept Bradley above his head and then brought him down to pepper his small, chubby face with kisses. Bradley delighted in this, smiling and dribbling. He gurgled when Louisa moved into his field of vision, tipping towards her.
Leo passed him over, Louisa cuddling him to her. Bradley nearly headbutted her in his excitement, wriggling and kicking.
Louisa sat at the foot of the bed, crossing her legs. Leo flopped in the other chair, unwrapping his bacon sandwich. It was not as good as Jessica's, but it was a close second.
"Mmph," Louisa said. She squeezed her brother's ankle, green light flickering beneath her palm. Percy inhaled sharply, eyes springing open.
"I'm awake," he confirmed. He still spoke hoarsely, though slightly more audible than before. "What do you want?"
"I'm sorry."
"Fuck off." Percy grinned lopsidedly. Louisa started to apologise again. "Fuck off," Percy repeated. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck off." Louisa blinked. She tried one last time, Percy breathing in to prep a "Fuuuuuuucccccckkkkk ooooooffffffffffffff."
"Who taught you ta be so rude?"
"You," he said simply. Louisa pouted.
"Can't argue with that. I am sorry though."
"I know. You owe me Oreos." He nodded solemnly and she mustered a weak smile.
"OK. Oreos." She looked to Leo's picnic basket. "Would ya settle for a ham 'n' cheese sandwich?"
"For now," Percy said after a moment's thought. Leo passed it over. Percy eyed him warily, hands fumbling as he unwrapped the napkins. "Lou punched you in the face."
"She did."
"I missed it."
"I can do it again," Louisa offered.
"That's just assault," Leo sulked. Percy was still watching him, a scrutiny Leo was sadly becoming used to. He was going to be asked where he had carried Louisa off to— he had dumped her in the lake— and what had happened while they had been gone— she had tried to drown him.
But his plan had worked. He had angered her on purpose, making himself the target for her temper rather than her. She had smacked her own self-destruct button and Leo had swept in with emotional pliers, rerouting the explosion.
Percy continued to frown at him. Leo didn't want a lecture or another death threat. There was a silence settling into the room, making him fidget. He couldn't be blamed for what happened next; he defaulted.
"What's got five toes and isn't your foot?"
"What?" Percy said blankly. He exchanged a confused look with Annabeth. "Leo—"
"What's got five toes and isn't your foot?" Leo insisted, focusing on Louisa. She half-turned to puzzle at him, brow furrowing. She checked his sandwich, maybe searching for whatever had made him lose his mind today. Seeing nothing untoward, she looked back up at him. Leo grinned. "My foot."
Annabeth groaned, rolling her eyes. Percy's frown deepened, shaking his head. Leo ignored them, watching the cogs turn for Louisa. A beat, then two, then…
She snorted, corner of her mouth twitching.
"That's shit."
"I've got more," he promised. "Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet?" Louisa rubbed at her face. "Because the P is silent." There was a cough from Percy on that one, a begrudging laugh hurriedly disguised. Annabeth tutted, though if it was aimed at Percy or Leo or both of them, neither could say for sure.
Leo had loads more, hundreds more, thousands more.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters? Anna One, Anna Two.
What do you call a spider with ten eyes? A spi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-der, bobbing his head with each 'i' and making Louisa smile.
What do you call an old snowman? A glass of water.
How do you organise a space party? You planet.
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.
Why did the whale blush? It saw the ocean's bottom.
That one got a loud laugh out of her, a hand clapped over her mouth. Percy was trying to stifle laughs. That or he was silently crying with despair. Was it OK to make him laugh? Was it hurting him?
Considering how he had spoken to Leo on the beach, Leo didn't bother inquiring.
Then he felt mean, silently reprimanding himself. Percy had been a dick, yes, but he had also nearly been killed. Leo should cut him some slack.
Also, Annabeth hadn't told him off yet. Nothing beyond eye rolling anyway. If she thought Percy was in pain or discomfort, she would make Leo knock it off.
Ah, knock. That gave him another one.
"Knock knock," he said.
"Stop it," Percy wheezed.
"Knock knock," Leo persisted. Annabeth pinched the bridge of her nose. Leo knew he had got her with a couple of the jokes, breaking that stern façade. "Last one, I swear. Knock knock."
"Who's there?" Louisa asked dutifully, fighting a smile.
"Nobel."
"Nobel who?"
"No bell so I just knocked." He shrugged a shoulder. Louisa snickered into her fist, tears building at the corners of her eyes.
Leo finished a second sandwich, listening to the snickers and muttered repetitions. The twins were bad at setting each other off again, most amused by the whale seeing the ocean's bottom.
Leo smiled. Mission accomplished.
"That's enough of that," Annabeth decided, battling to hide a smile. "I'm going to see if I can rescue Tobias from Piper. Leo, you can come with me. I may need the reinforcements."
"You mean sandwiches. Just because I bribed you with one doesn't mean it'll work on Piper. She's the queen of bribery."
"Leo."
"Yes, ma'am, right away." He scooped up his basket and stood to attention, saluting clumsily.
They waved to the twins. Percy was now holding Bradley, making faces at him. Bradley stared at him blankly. Percy was not to be stopped.
Annabeth led Leo out, collecting her coat from by the door. They tromped back out into the snow, their breath fogging and trailing behind them.
"How did you know that would work?" she asked as they neared the first of the cabins. "Earlier? I mean, yeah, she socked you one, but how did you know that would work?"
"Ah," Leo tapped his nose. "She's wrong and doesn't know she's wrong, but if you agree with her that she's wrong, she'll see she's wrong and think you're wrong therefore making her right."
"Uh… right," Annabeth said uncertainly.
"Trust me. It's a practised science."
"Uh huh."
They knocked on the door to the Aphrodite cabin. To their left, a curtain twitched. Annabeth knocked again. "Piper! You can't keep him, he's mine!"
"Five more minutes?"
"Open the door, Piper."
"Oooh, fine. Spoilsport." Piper let them in. Leo rummaged in his basket.
"Ah. The only vegetarian one I've got is just cheese. I swear I had…"
"Cheese will do," Piper grinned, holding her hand out. Leo passed the sandwich over.
"Mammy!" Tobias collided with Annabeth's legs, clutching at the hem of her coat. "Where been?" he demanded. "Did picture!"
"You did?" Annabeth smiled. He nodded madly, flourishing a hand. Annabeth took it and let him lead her away to a pile of papers and crayons on Piper's bunk.
Piper elbowed Leo sharply, nearly making him drop his sandwich.
"My lunch!" he panicked, securing it with both hands. He squinted at her sidelong, grumbling. "You are on thin ice, Beauty Queen. That was almost my food."
"I'm terribly sorry," Piper simpered, her kaleidoscopic eyes wide and innocent. Leo huffed and took a big bite before she could jeopardise his sandwich any further. "So, what's this I hear about an arrest? And possibly a kidnapping? Will was very unclear."
"Will wasn't watching," Annabeth called over.
"He didn't want to be a witness," Leo added around his mouthful. He shrugged a shoulder when Piper continued to stare at him. "What? Lou was freaking out. I needed something to distract her." Annabeth frowned over at him. Tobias was sitting in her lap, studying his drawings while she stroked his hair.
Leo was not going to divulge any further details, wolfing down the rest of his well-crafted sandwich. Annabeth was not so secretive, turning to Piper and divulging away. She did not keep secrets from Piper, never had done and never would do. Piper was her confidante.
Piper inhaled sharply on hearing about the kiss. She would not hear that it was a quick kiss, an in-and-out thing meant as a distraction only. She kept Leo trapped under her multicoloured gaze, whipping out her demigod-safe cell phone (copyrighted Valdez Industries™) and tapping out a message without once looking away.
"That's impressive," Leo remarked. "Did you spell it right?"
"Don't need to," Piper smirked. Two seconds later, Leo's phone was buzzing in his pocket, trilling the Pokémon theme song. "Mikey understands me perfectly."
Leo's phone continued to buzz. Piper's smile broadened mischievously. "You should probably answer that."
"I am writing you out of my will."
"Answer your phone."
"I don't want to."
"Do it." The phone fell silent, starting back up. "He won't let off until you do."
"Oh. Oh, pee-yoo." Leo wrinkled his nose. Percy arched an eyebrow at him. "That disgusting smell you may have noticed is emanating from this tiny being, not me." He lifted Bradley, who was beginning to grizzle. "You are cute," Leo told him, "but you are also stinky. Yes, yes you are. Stinky stinky chiquito."
"What does 'chiquito' mean?" Percy asked. He sounded a little stronger today, having slept well and been re-entitled to small doses of ambrosia.
"Basically 'baby boy'." Bradley complained at him. "It's not fun for me either," Leo informed. "You just make the poop. I've gotta clean it. Scoot your legs." He told Percy, lying Bradley on the foot of the bed once clear. He hummed while he cleaned the tot up, aware Percy was watching his every move.
Bradley went back to smiling and wriggling as soon as he was in a fresh diaper, making it a chore to get him back into his jumpsuit. Leo had to catch his feet one at a time to get the tiny cloth booties back on. He wasn't sure if Bradley understood the concept of shoes just yet, though these shoes were more for warmth than walking.
"On a wavelength, huh?" Percy smirked.
"Of course," Leo turned his nose up. "You don't see him yanking them off, do you?"
"Pfft," Percy said, having lost the battle of Get Your Shoes On just this morning. Tobias was a stubborn child and stubborn children did not like shoes. Not until Mammy came along anyway. Shoes were far less scary than Mammy.
Leo tickled Bradley under the chin. The tot smiled at him, flailing his arms like he was trying to make a wonky snow angel.
"Oh, do you feel better now?" Leo asked. "I'll need a solid month of airing out, but I'm glad you feel better now. Yes, yes, yes." He tucked his hands under Bradley's arms, lifting him up to eye level. "For someone that doesn't know any words yet, you are very bossy. Yeah, I said it. Bossy. Bossy like Mama, si." Bradley gurgled and drooled some more. Leo sighed. "Mama should be back soon," Louisa had excused herself on Leo's arrival, needing the bathroom, "unless she's pooping too. Either way, I'm sure she's missing us already."
"I'm here 'n' I weren't poopin'."
"Gods dammit, woman! Stop it!" Louisa smiled slyly. "Goddamn ninja, stop it."
She folded her arms. Leo sat Bradley against his chest, calming himself by burying his nose in Bradley's hair. It was nice to enjoy the good smells, while they lasted.
"Percy has somethin' he wants to say," Louisa announced. "Don't you, my dear sweet brother?" Her smile tightened warningly. Leo didn't dare turn— as if his heart wasn't fit to burst already, Leo's panic attack inducer had something to say.
Percy scowled, crossing his arms.
"This is bullying," he claimed. She growled, actually growled, and he sighed, shoulders drooping. "Lou and I were talking this morning and… I'm sorry I said what I said, Leo. I should know better by now—" Louisa did not once pull her glare from her brother, prompting Leo to wonder how much was genuine and how much was coming out under duress "— but I'm an idiot. Clearly. We have… different ways of looking after Lou, looking out for her, and I guess I got a bit… well, a lot angry that you weren't… that you were Leo-ing and not… Percy-ing. I didn't understand before, but I do now. I'm sorry."
Leo stared at him. Percy forced a smile. "And no, I haven't been swapped for an alien clone."
"Are you sure?"
"Very sure."
"And it's not, like, a side effect of…" He circled a finger at Percy, wincing apologetically at Louisa. "Maybe he's delirious with blood loss."
"No, he's fine," Louisa said quickly.
"We're moving past that," Percy added.
"Oh, OK." Leo nodded. He squinted at Percy, who sighed irritably.
"I am not an alien clone."
"No, he's not," Louisa agreed, "but he is very sorry, aren't you?"
"I am," Percy nodded miserably. "Very, very sorry. And still not an alien clone. Lou, how am I supposed to apologise? He's not taking me seriously."
"Do you take him seriously?" Louisa countered. Percy opened his mouth to argue, closing it when she tipped her chin up defiantly. He clenched his jaw, furiously thinking of a way out of the hole he had dug himself and finding nothing.
"No," he admitted dejectedly. "Sorry, Leo. I've been an asshole."
Leo sensed genuineness this time, smiling.
"Yeah, you have," he agreed, brightening when Percy only sighed. Being bedbound had its advantages and none of them were to Percy's favour. "We've had this conversation, ese. I'm a Leo and you're a Percy." Percy rolled his eyes, shook his head. Louisa cleared her throat pointedly.
"Yes," Percy relented. He studied his sister and then Leo, still holding Bradley. "Do you think you can keep on Leo-ing?"
"Yes," Leo replied instantly. "I'm very good at it."
"Of course you are," Percy smiled fretfully. "Lou, are you sure about—?"
"Ah. You said I could make my own choices."
"I did, but—" He faltered under her glare, biting the inside of his cheek. She jerked her head and he grumbled a few swears, picking sulkily at his pyjama shirt. "Leo. I am sorry. I was… out of line on the beach." He hunched his shoulders, waved a vague hand. "Over the top, a bit, maybe. Enough's enough now. I want Lou to be safe and I want her to be happy. I didn't see it sooner, not… not completely anyway, but I do now. I'd still like to punt you to the far side of the Moon though." Louisa cleared her throat again, louder and longer. Percy made a face at her. "Alright, I won't."
Leo stared out the window. How much force would it take to punt someone his size to the Moon? How far was that? How much force would be needed for him to escape the Earth's gravity and enter the Moon's? What would he need to survive on the Moon? Could he make Lunar Base Camp Valdez? Re-enact the Moon Landing? Plant his own flag and claim the Moon for Valdeztopia?
He noticed Percy frowning at him, switching his line of thought.
"Big Brother instincts?" he asked.
"Apparently. I'm trusting you, Leo. Don't make me regret it." Louisa hissed at him. "What? I apologised. What more do you want?" She offered a rude hand gesture and Percy stuck his tongue out. "I have to warn him, it's my job."
"Be nice."
"I am!"
"That's my Leo," she defied. "Be nice." Percy saw Leo grin, the biggest, brightest grin he had ever seen on him. Usually, when Leo grinned, trouble wasn't far behind. A prank, a stray invention, some mad cockamamie plot. It had always baffled him how Louisa had seen the same grins he had but never got the same vibes.
This grin was like the sun, all others miniscule, measly stars in comparison.
That was what had frustrated Percy. To him, everything was a game or a joke to Leo, always something to play with or tease. Before Leo had arrived, Louisa had tweaked Percy's ear and told him off. Somehow, as per the power of camp gossip, she had heard about their little conversation on the beach and she was most displeased about it, calling him a few unprintable swears in Latin (Tobias had still been present at the time and she would not be responsible for his foul mouth aside from 'fuck' and 'shit').
Percy had kept an eye on things when Leo came in, how both Louisa and Bradley had brightened at the sight of him. He watched carefully while Leo changed Bradley's diaper, recognising a skill as good as his own— Tobias had had some horrendous diapers too and there were still more to come with the new baby.
Louisa was different with Leo around. Not outwardly, nothing like that. Percy could feel the change in her, as if Leo had come in and flipped a switch in her, filling her with… peace.
It clicked then for Percy, what he had been missing. Everyone had been helping Louisa in their own way, though none offered the levity that Leo did. He counteracted everything that had happened, was a light in the dark leading her to a new, better normal life. That was all she wanted now and Percy had had to apologise to her too.
Yes, she wanted to be at her old level again, strong, capable, healthy. What she didn't want was her old life.
She was retiring, mind made up while she contemplated the new scar across the base of his throat, and, for reasons Percy had only figured out this morning, she wanted Leo with her.
Feeling like the aforementioned asshole, Percy recounted what he had said to Leo on the beach; she had wanted to hear his side. He had spoken in temper, was building walls up for her. He couldn't help it. She carried so much pain and fear, a burden he could feel on his own shoulders, that all he wanted to do was give in to his natural reactions. Put her in a tower somewhere, with a dragon warding off all who dared to approach.
She and Annabeth had ganged up on him to say sorry, which he now had. He still wanted to shield Louisa, still wanted to keep the world's hurt away from her, but… oh, she had other ideas, obviously. My Leo, she had said. My Leo.
Percy looked Leo over again. He was not big or strong, never had been. His main weapon of defence was an automaton dragon that could turn into a suitcase, seconded by a mallet and a terrible sense of humour. He was fidgety and sharp tongued and even sharper minded. He was still the most ADHD demigod Percy had ever known and he still grinned in that way that only smacked of trouble.
And yet, somehow, he was the safety Louisa craved. She had given Bradley his surname, had him sign the birth certificate, had agreed for him to be Papi.
"Fine," he muttered. "I'll be nice." He frowned at his sister. "You're late for Mr. D."
"Worth it." She flicked her fingers from her eyes to his. Percy crossed his heart and she nodded. Leo was a big deal for her. She trusted him.
Percy knew better than anyone— her trust was not easily won, but once it was, it was lifelong.