Chapter Twenty-Seven

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Life returned to normal after the three strangers left the village. Autumn replaces the balmy summer. Skies are clear and the air is cool. The foliage, as delightfully colorful as it may be, is a reminder that the mild weather won't last much longer. Six months of winter is just around the corner. The countryside is scoured for edible plants before the first frost can kill them. Acorns and seeds are gathered. Animal traps are checked frequently.

Even with all the work put in, food remains our primary concern.

Arl declares that the able-bodied men of the tribe will go on a hunting expedition before the snow arrives. They will stalk one of the humongous herds roaming the grassland and hunt down as many prehistoric beasts as they can. The meat from just one giant elk or steppe bison could sustain several families for weeks. The more food we store away, the less likely we will starve when the blizzards arrive.

The men are scheduled to leave tomorrow morning. Mett is assigned to stay and help guard the village. Ewar, however, will be going on the hunt. He has a lot of packing and preparing to do. I take on some of his daily chores to ease his load, like checking our snares and traps scattered in the woods. We caught one rabbit. Its thick winter coat has already begun to grow. Preserving it is a must. Fur-lined gloves will come in handy when it gets colder.

After gutting it, I take my kill to Ehmay's house. She is a master at tanning animal hides. I'm still a noob. She and I scrape the pelt of all fat and tissue. The skull is cracked open like a watermelon. The rabbit's brain is mashed into a paste and spread on the underside of the fur. Within a few hours, the brain paste has tanned the skin. Our work, however, is far from over. We give the pelt a good rinse in water and then hang it up. Every so often as it dries, one of us takes it down to gently stretch the material. This keeps it soft and pliable. If we didn't follow this step, the pelt would dry as hard as a rock.

Alie and Oza teamed up today to forage in the forest. They were highly successful. They brought back a basket of fungi and earthy roots. Oza offers to trade some of her share in exchange for a few sprigs of the wild mint I collected recently. It's a good deal. Oza's mushrooms will go perfectly in the rabbit stew I was planning to make tonight.

Alie carried her baby on her back while she was roaming the forest. Paytah fell asleep at some point. Now that Alie has returned to the village, she unwraps the cloth from around herself and Paytah. His little eyes flutter open when he is placed on a pallet of furs. He immediately begins fussing, his chubby fists clenched as he cries.

"Someone isn't happy that his nap is over," I observe sympathetically.

Alie sighs. "He's been doing this a lot lately. No matter what I do, he wakes up in a bad mood."

"Enja was like that too as a baby," says Oza. "He didn't grow out of it until three whole winters passed."

"That long?" Alie groans. "How will I survive?"

I smirk at her melodramatics. "You will be fine. Maybe all Paytah needs is a little distraction. Make him forget he was grumpy."

"What do you mean?"

I scoop Paytah from where he is crying on the floor. He attempts to wiggle out of my arms, but I keep a tight hold of him. While he is perched on my hip, I sing an age-appropriate song in high-pitched English. Together we perform a bouncing, spinning dance to accompany the song. The strange, seemingly nonsensical words pouring from my mouth (combined with my overall silliness) works its intended magic. Paytah's sobs cease as he stares unblinking at my face. Although he is bewildered by my behavior, smiles and baby giggles soon win the day.

All that spinning around the room made me dizzy. I set Paytah down on the floor and take the spot beside him for myself. He begins babbling in baby talk while playing with his toes.

Alie grins. "Thank you, Bella! How did you know that would calm him down?"

"I didn't. I just had a feeling it would help."

Ehmay looks in my direction. "You have a way with children. It comes naturally to you."

"I don't know about that. Making a fool of myself comes naturally, though."

"What Ehmay said is true, Bella," Oza says. "Afrin talks about you every chance she gets." She mimics Afrin's fun-loving personality. "'Mother, Bella taught me how to do a flip today!' 'Bella found a pretty feather and gave it to me!' 'Guess what Bella said when I saw her!'" Oza smiles so I'll know she is teasing. "I should be jealous of how much my daughter admires you."

I glance down at my twiddling fingers, embarrassed by the focus on me. "Well, it's easy to get along with Afrin. She's sweet and very smart for her age. I think she's more mature than I am too."

Oza and Alie both laugh at my joke. Ehmay does not. Her head tilts appraisingly.

"You humble yourself," she begins thoughtfully, "but what I said still stands. You will make a fine mother. I look forward to the day when I can hold your and Ewar's children in my arms."

I'm glad I am sitting down. If I wasn't, I probably would have fainted dead away.

While I'm struck dumb by Ehmay's declaration, the others in the room share their opinions.

"Yes!" Alie chirps. "I bet they will have a girl first. Just imagine how cute she will be! She'll have Bella's big eyes and Ewar's smile."

Oza shakes her head. "I don't think so. I have a feeling they'll have a boy first."

"We can't both be right..." Alie purses her mouth a moment. She then sucks in a breath. "Maybe that means Bella will have a girl and a boy at the same time!"

Ehmay's eyes take on a shine. "I hope what you say comes to pass, Alie. What a blessing that would be."

All this talk about me and babies is overloading my brain. I clamor from off the floor into a standing position, half ready to flee the room. "I-I can't do it. I can't be a mother."

"Of course you can," Ehmay says. "And you'll have us there to help."

"No, you don't understand. I can't be a mother because..."

I stop mid-sentence. These women have no concept of birth control other than the pull-out method. An IUD would sound more like fairy tale nonsense to them than a legitimate medical device. I don't like lying, but sometimes it is the only option. That's the downside of time-traveling.

Clearing my throat, I give them the facts in the only way they would understand. "I can't be a mother because Damara put a spell on me."

The occupants of the room (excluding Paytah) freeze in place.

Ehmay is the first to recover. She blinks rapidly, as though waking from a bad dream. "Are you saying the Goddess took away your fertility? Does Ewar know?"

"Yes, I told him long ago."

She takes a moment to absorb the information. An outraged expression dominates her face. She looks like a mother bear whose cubs are in danger. "Why would Damara do such a thing to you?"

"You see... Uh. As an assistant to Damara, I was required to do certain tasks for her - and I couldn't do that if I'm with child. It would be too much of a distraction. That's why Damara put an infertility spell on me, so I could work in peace."

The three women glance at one another.

"I think I understand," Alie says slowly. "But you no longer work for Damara. Surely she wouldn't forbid you from having children forever."

"That's true. The, um... spell should fade eventually."

Ehmay clutches her chest, as though she is attempting to suppress a heart attack. "Praise be to Damara! So there is hope. You had me worried."

"Worried about what?"

They all laugh. I just stand there like a clueless dummy.

"Bella," she says fondly but also a hint of exasperation. "Do not joke about such things. Ewar will be the leader of this tribe one day. He needs a successor - someone preferably of his bloodline to pass it on to." She turns to address Alie. "I hope Bella bears several children. That way, Ewar can choose which among them will be the best leader."

That comment opens the floodgates. Ehmay, Alie, and Oza begin analyzing the subject from all angles. They agree that having a leader with a large family would be ideal. That way, those children of Ewar can marry into many other tribes. This will ultimately strengthen bonds and enhance our tribe's influence throughout the region.

I have nothing to add to this conversation... mainly because I am spiraling into a nervous breakdown.

I have witnessed three live births since coming here. They were multi-hour events where the women screamed for mercy. I saw things that would make battle-hardened warriors cry. Horror movies contain less gore than childbirth. So, the prospect of me having "several" children without the benefit of some serious painkillers sounds about as nice as being trampled by a wooly rhino.

Actually, the wooly rhino would probably be the smarter option. At least that suffering would be quick.

I can't listen to a second more of this conversation. I excuse myself by claiming that I need to start on dinner. The three women say goodbye to me. Then they immediately go back to speculating about my fertility potential before I even make it out the door.

My home is my sanctuary. The quiet is a godsend. I cook the rabbit and chop the meat into bite-sized pieces. Thinly sliced root vegetables and mushrooms are added to the boiling water. Wild grain that was ground into a powder thickens the liquid. A hearty stew bubbles over the fire.

Preparing the evening meal is a long process that requires much concentration. Yet, I cannot escape the image that has been planted in my head.

A child. A blend of Ewar and me.

It is both intriguing and terrifying.

Surprisingly, after a lot of thought, one feeling rises above the other.

Ewar arrives home in good spirits. He is talkative as we eat, mainly due to his excitement about tomorrow. Hunting big game is something he truly enjoys. The men get to bond while also providing meat for their families back home. It's sort of like how my dad would go on weekend fishing trips with his buddies, catching trout and guzzling beer on the lake. Viewed in that light, I can understand why Ewar is excited.

He eats quickly but makes sure to compliment the stew I cooked. He then gets to work sharpening his spear to a fine point. I try to keep myself busy by doing some sewing, but my mind is elsewhere. I can't focus on the task at hand. Several times I accidentally prick my finger with the bone needle.

I give up trying to be useful and crawl into bed. Ewar sets aside his spear and climbs in not too long after, leaving the fire burning low. Like magnets, we are drawn together. He spoons me from behind. With an arm around my waist, he reaches for my hand lying flat on the bed. He lifts it for closer inspection, turning it this way and that.

"Your hands are so small," he whispers in the half-light.

I swallow, gathering my courage. "Do you wish for someone with even smaller hands?"

He rolls me over so we are looking at each other directly. "What do you mean?"

"I've been thinking. Whatever I want, you give it to me right away... but I haven't done the same for you."

"That is not true. You were planning to go home, yet you stayed when I asked."

"That doesn't count. I wanted to stay with you."

He purses his lips, fighting a smile. "Tell me what is on your mind."

"Are you upset about being married for so long with no children to show for it?"

The smile vanishes. His voice drops to a dangerous low. "Who said that to you?"

"No one." He keeps narrowed eyes pinned on me until I confess. "At least, not directly. It's just that... Everyone - your aunt, especially - wants us to have kids. Lots and lots of kids. They seem to think it's inevitable that we'll be having them soon. But I... I haven't given it any thought until now. Does that make me a bad wife?"

He sweeps the hair from my brow. "No. You are the best wife."

"How can I be the best when I failed to ask what you wanted?"

"Bella, I am happy if you are happy. That is all I want."

"Nuh-uh. That answer isn't good enough. Tell me the truth. Do you want children?"

He exhales, closing his eyes as he thinks it over. Eventually, he meets my gaze again. "Having a child with you would be... a gift. But I have come to accept it is not what Damara wishes for us."

"Why do you think that?"

"You and I have shared a bed many times." He breathes out a laugh. "Sometimes many times a day." His humor fades a little. "No child came of it."

"That doesn't prove shit. I've told you before - I am on birth control!"

"You said this 'birth control' is not perfect. That it could... What is the word?"

"Fail."

"Yes. Fail. We have come together many times. Why hasn't the birth control failed you yet?" He holds up a finger to prevent me from interrupting. "I will tell you why. It is because the rumors were correct - I cannot have children."

"You're wrong. I said there was a small chance my birth control might fail. It would be the same odds as... as someone being struck by lightning twice."

He frowns. "That happened to my grandfather."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. The second time killed him."

I wince. "Uh, sorry. Bad example." I pause a moment to collect my bearings. "My point is that under normal circumstances, birth control works great. And those rumors about you? They're about as reliable as the rumor going around that says I'm a goddess." I lean closer to kiss the end of his nose. "Do you understand? Just because I haven't been pregnant yet doesn't mean it won't ever happen."

He hums in acknowledgment. However, the stubborn set of his jaw says that he still doesn't fully accept the possibility.

I thread our fingers together. "Ewar, do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Then trust me when I say that I want to make you happy - in every possible way." My heart flutters at what I'm about to suggest. "So, I was thinking this afternoon... My IUD can be removed. It won't feel pleasant, but I can manage pulling it out if you help me. Then, without that protection, it probably wouldn't be long before..."

He huffs. "Bella-"

I hush him with a finger on his lips. "Don't say it won't happen. When I close my eyes, I can picture it in my head. You're there holding our baby. I can tell by your smile that you love that child with every ounce of your soul. How can I deny you of that experience? How can I deny myself? I want everything with you."

I snort in remembrance. "The only thing I don't want is what Ehmay wants for us. Just because I have fun babysitting the village children sometimes doesn't mean I want a houseful of my own! And the thought of going through childbirth multiple times sounds like the stuff of nightmares. Once I think I can handle. Five times? Hell no. So with that in mind, would you be all right with one child and that's it?"

Ewar blows out his cheeks, disoriented by my proposition. "I would love anything you gave me, but-"

"Good. It's settled, then. You and me; one kid."

He looks at me askance, annoyed at how I ignored whatever pessimistic excuse he was preparing to deliver. But he is defenseless against my smile. He starts shaking his head in amusement.

"Bella, you are the most dangerous creature to ever walk the earth."

"Yet you choose to be with me anyway. I'm one lucky girl. Now, let's decide on a schedule."

"What is that?"

"It's a plan on when exactly we want certain things to happen. I'll be honest with you - I'm not ready to be a parent yet."

"Neither am I. I am enjoying our time alone."

"Me, too. I'd like for it to be just the two of us for a little while longer. It will give us time to get used to the idea first... and to prepare. Maybe we can start trying sometime around next winter?"

I leave the question hovering in the air between us. He thinks it over long and hard.

He nods. "Yes. I like that idea." His hand slips under the blanket. Calloused fingers dance across my flat abdomen, tracing the place where his child might grow a year from now. I inhale at the teasing, almost ticklish sensation. He doesn't stop. He only smirks, well aware of what he's doing to me. "Bella?"

"Y-yes?"

"I think we should practice."

"Practice, what?"

He wiggles his eyebrows. "We need to practice how babies are made."

I hold back a laugh. Quickly, I school my features into something approaching indifference. "Well... if you insist."

His impatient lips are on me a second later.

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No matter how late I fall asleep, I am usually wide awake before the birds sing outside. Force of habit, I guess. This morning is no different. I crawl out of bed while Ewar still sleeps. It isn't too difficult stoking a fire from the leftover embers in the hearth.

As the water heats over the flames, I spread a deer hide on the floor. It is my makeshift yoga mat. I greet the new day by bending my limbs and torso at odd angles. The exercise is good for my body and mind. It's good for Ewar as well. He woke up at some point and is now watching me do stretches from where he lies in bed.

A certain part of his anatomy is stretching too. I think he enjoys my yoga sessions more than I do.

There's no time for any fun, bed-related activities this morning. He and I must eat and get dressed. His hunting trip starts soon. A majority of the people going along with him are already outside preparing to leave. Ewar put together his travois and loaded it down with most of his supplies yesterday afternoon, so there isn't much left for him to add.

The time comes when Arl announces that they will be departing imminently. The men bid their loved ones goodbye. Ewar comes up and swallows me in his arms. His kiss is long and deep. It says without words how much he will miss me.

A grunt of distaste reaches our ears.

"Ugh. No one wants to see that this early in the morning."

I know who spoke the second I hear the voice. Regardless of their intent to criticize Ewar and me, I slap on a fake smile.

"Oh, Essa. Does me kissing my husband goodbye offend you? Well, here's the thing - I don't care." I stick out my tongue at her. "Look somewhere else if you don't like it."

She scrunches her face like a used tissue. "You are such a child, Bella."

"And you're a bitch. Bye, now. Have a terrible day!"

Essa gives one last pissy glare before leaving the vicinity. Ewar chuckles where only I can hear.

"Does she know what 'bitch' means?" he asks.

"No, but I figure it's the thought that counts."

He smiles and groans simultaneously. I am yanked back into his embrace. "Please don't get into trouble while I am gone," he says as he hugs me.

"Don't worry. The only trouble I'll get into is the kind that comes to me."

He pulls back just enough to look me in the eyes. "And what does that mean?"

"It means I won't go searching for it."

He heaves a pained sigh. "I suppose that is the best I can hope for when it comes to you."

I shove him playfully. "Like you're one to talk! You're leaving to go chase after animals that could squash you to death in an instant."

"That won't happen to me. I have a healthy respect for all animals. I keep my distance until our spears have done their work." He plants a lingering kiss on my forehead. "I will always find my way back to you. I promise."

"You better. And come back to me in one piece while you're at it."

"I will." A gleam appears in his eyes. His voice drops to a scandalous tone. "Speaking of pieces of me, a certain 'piece' wishes it could have said goodbye to you again this morning. Can you guess which it might be?"

I snort. "Yeah, the same part of you that I said 'bye' to twice last night. It was very persistent."

We laugh until something else takes over. Our gazes are locked in the heat of the moment. I don't need to ask what he is thinking about. The subject we spoke of last night is on both of our minds. It is our special secret, one we won't share with anyone else until I am already pregnant.

His brow creases out of the blue. "I forgot to ask. What are your plans while I'm gone? I hope you won't be all alone at the house."

"Nope. I'm staying with Alie."

"Good. What will you two do to pass the time?"

"Besides taking care of Paytah? Well, Alie and I will probably be doing the same as you and Jas."

"And what might that be?"

"Gossiping about our spouses."

He gives me a sharp look. "Men do not gossip."

"Pfft! Whatever. You guys keep track of the goings-on of everyone around here."

"That isn't gossip. We discuss those things to keep the village safe."

"Right..."

He digs a finger into my side in retaliation for the sarcasm, producing a ticklish giggle out of me.

"Let's go!" Arl shouts for all to hear.

Our mutual smiles dim. Ewar kisses me one more time before leaving. "I love you."

"Love you, too."

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Since most of the younger men are off having an adventure, the rest of us have to step up to keep the village running smoothly. Mett helps out wherever he can. So too does Bannar in spite of his advanced age. But it's the women who put in most of the work.

On the second day the men are away, Ehmay decides to organize a journey of our own. A couple of hours walk from the village, there is a large gathering of wild rose bushes, aka Damara's flower. The blossoms have long since wilted. If we are fortunate, there will be rose hips left behind. The hips are tart-like green apples and smaller than a grape. Though they are tiny, that doesn't take away from their importance. Rose hips are food, tea, and medicine. Their high vitamin C content alone makes gathering them worthwhile.

Harvesting them is simple but does come at a risk. You must be wary of the thorns hidden amongst the leaves.

Those with the smallest hands have the easiest time plucking the rose hips off the thorny stems. The older children make a game out of the task, seeing who can gather the most.

This section of the forest rarely receives human visitors due to its distance from the village. I see tell-tale signs of rabbits, deer, and other small game. And that disturbed ground over there makes me believe a larger creature lives somewhere nearby. Wild boar love to eat roots and tubers.

All of the ripe rose hips have been collected. I make my way over to Ehmay as everyone prepares to return to the village.

"I'm going to stay here a little longer," I inform her. "I'd like to hunt." While it's great that the men will most likely bring home the meat of several huge animals, I don't want to rely on that alone. It's best to collect as many food resources as possible.

Ehmay frowns for a second. "Are you not worried about becoming lost?"

"No, Ewar taught me to follow the signs." When there are no trails in the area, our tribe marks tree trunks to show you where to go. Three notches in a row means you're heading in the right direction.

She smiles. "All right. But please return to the village well before sunset. Otherwise, I'll send Mett to find you."

There comes a small gasp behind me. "Oh, Bella!" Afrin exclaims. "Are you going hunting? Let me go with you! I've never seen you hunt before."

Her brother, Enja, drops his basket to join the pleading. He looks like Mett in miniature form. "I want to go too! Please?"

I glance between their exuberant faces. "I don't know... Your mother might not like it."

"She won't mind!" Enja seizes my hand and his sister's. He drags us to where Oza stands. "Mother! Bella is going hunting. May we go with her?"

Oza scrunches her face. "Hunting? You are too young for that."

Afrin moans. "But we won't be doing any of the hunting!"

Enja nods. "We only want to watch."

"And maybe carry back the animals she has killed," Afrin adds.

"Yes!" Enja agrees. "We won't touch any weapons, Mother. We promise!"

Oza remains uncertain until she meets my gaze. I give a little nod to show her that what the children said will stay true. "I'm not planning on hunting anything big, Oza. And we won't go far."

She sighs and looks down at her children. "All right. You can watch Bella hunt. But you two better be on your best behavior. And do exactly what she says."

"We will!" they say in unison.

The three of us head into a section of the woods where there are no other people. Enja acts the part of the gentleman, insisting on carrying my basket of rose hips as we walk. Afrin suddenly points up at a tree, almost shouting that a squirrel is watching us. I whisper to her the first secret to hunting.

You must walk and talk softly if you don't want to scare all the animals away.

We locate an excellent spot to sit and hunt. The ground is dry. A bush is excellent cover to conceal our presence. I place a finger to my mouth to remind my young friends that we must stay silent. They both give serious head nods in reply.

Within minutes, a plump quail lands on a limb two trees away. I extract an arrow from my quiver and let it fly from my hand. The quail falls to the dry leaves below. Enja quickly retrieves the bird and returns to our hiding place.

For the next short while, all is peaceful. Birds are singing in the distance. A cricket chirps an accompanying tune.

Then, as though someone pressed the mute button on a TV remote, everything goes silent.

The children and I look at one another. It is clear by their expressions that they are as puzzled by the abrupt change of atmosphere as I am.

The silence does not last for long.

Here comes the stomping of feet through the underbrush. A growling moan can be heard, something primal yet also familiar. Branches snap, often several at the same time. I'm unsure if it is from one large body in motion or perhaps several individuals walking together. Either option makes me jumpy. Who would I rather fend off, a single mammoth or a pack of wolves?

I'll get back to you if I live to figure out the answer.

Using hand signs and body language, I instruct the children to get behind me. Afrin trembles and latches on to her brother's arm. He stands protectively over her, though I can still see the fear in his eyes.

I take out an arrow meant for larger game and notch it in place. The bowstring is pulled back taut in my hand. And there I stay in that position, ready to release the deadly payload the instant I set eyes on danger.

A hulking figure steps out of the shadows of the forest. Then another, and another. My eyes go wide. The words that exit my mouth are understood by no one except for myself.

"Oh, shit."

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A/N- Here we go! Sorry but the story couldn't stay fluffy forever. What's Bella aiming at? Animal or person? Friend or foe? Whoever guesses correctly wins... my respect, lol.

Thanks for reading. :-)