[One everything at the Mystery Shack during nighttime. Stan is inside the Mystery Shack near the door.]
Stan[sighs]Well, it's the worst time of the day once again.[cringes as he changes the "Open" sign to "Closed"]Closing time.
Mabel:Well, see you in the morning, Grunkle Stan.
Stan:Hold on there, kid.[grabs Mabel by the face and pulls him back into the gift shop, preventing him from leaving] Take that pile of filth out with you before you go to bed.[Dipper holds up a trash bag with flies flying around it]
Mabel[gasps] Grunkle Stan, you shouldn't talk about Dipper like that.
Dipper: He means this filth, you loon.[He drops the bag on the floor]
Mabel: Grunkle Stan can you let Dipper take out the trash.
Stan: I'm sorry Mabel but Dipper did take out the trash yesterday now is your turn.
Mabel: But!
Stan: No but now go take out the trash before the raccoon and Old Man McGucket dig in our trash.
[Mabel goes to the dumpster while bringing the trash bag.]
Mabel[singing]Mm, taking out the trash, taking out the trash.
[Mabel throws the trash bags in the dumpster and then looks at some writings on the dumpster.]
Mabel:Hmm, dumpster writing! The voice of the people. "Up with bubbles, down with air."[laughs]"Gnome are people, too."[laughs]Ha, those Gnomes. Here's one somebody didn't finish: "Dipper smells... Good."[writes the word "good" after "smells" and laughs]Hmm, what's this one? Stan is a... Hmm? Stan is a[beep].
Incidental 119[clearly disgusted]Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?[picks up the garbage bags and leaves]
Mabel:Well, sometimes, but not... recently.
Soos[off-screen]Hi, garbage man.[appears on-screen]Hi, Mabel.
Mabel:Hi, Soos. Hey, Soos, do you know what this word means?
Soos:"Stan..." Uh, isn't that the Mr. Mystery guy we work for?
Mabel[pointing to "Stan," then the unseen word]Nuh-uh, not that word.
Soos[beep]. Hey! I think I know what that means. That's one of those sentence enhancers.
Mabel:Sentence enhancers?
Soos:You use 'em when you wanna talk fancy. You just sprinkle it over anything you say, and wham-o! You've got yourself a spicy sentence sandwich.
Mabel:Oh, I get it. Let me try.[clears his throat]Hello, Soos. Lovely[beep]day we're having isn't it?
Soos:Why, yes it is, hambone. This[beep]day is particularly[beep]lovely.
Mabel:How[beep]right you are, Soos!
[Mabel and Soos continue to say the word a few more times.]
Mabel:Ooh, you're right, Soos. My lips are tingling from the spiciness of this conversation.
Soos:Ooh-hoo, mine, too.
[Mabel and Soos laugh.]
Mabel:It tingles when I laugh.
[The next day Mabel walk in the gift shop.]
Mabel[Mabel opens the doors]Hello, customers. Nice[beep]day we're havin', huh?[the customers stare in shock]
Toby[gasps]Did he just say...
Tyler:yes, he did.
Mabel:Hey, Soos, how the[beep]are you?
Soos[Soos sweep the floor.]Pretty[Beep]good, Mabel.
Old Man McGucket:I thought this was a gift shop, not a gutter-mouth convention.
Mabel[Mabel taps on the microphone and speaks into it]Attention, customers. Today's is a[Beep]day in the mystery [Beep]Shack and don forget to[Beep]go to the .[the customers continue to be shocked at what they're hearing. gift shop .Hank's wife cover her son ear]And, don't forget to ask us to[Beep]the [Beep] mystery tour. It will be our[beep]pleasure.[Wendy hears the intercom.]Hi, Wendy. How the[Beep]are ya?
Soos:Nice[Beep]day, isn't it, Wendy?
(Dipper walk in the shack.)
Mabel: Hi Dipper how [Beep] are you?
Soos: Nice[Beep]day, isn't it, Dipper?
Dipper: Mabel what did you and Soos learn that word?
Mabel: From a dumpster come on Dipper say it with us.
Dipper: No!
Reginald:I don't understand. That guy's talented. She doesn't have to work
Rosanna:Let's go somewhere more family oriented.
[Everyone leaves the Mystery Shack, grumbling in frustration.]
Tourist 1[chattering (variously and) inaudibly]I'm never coming here again.
Tourist 2[chattering (variously and) inaudibly]Those foul-mouth bottom feeders.
[The Mystery Shack customer meter is running down; sirens wail and a red light flashes.]
Stan[in Stan office he hears the sirens]Huh?[he looks through the camera, sees that the Mystery Shack is empty, and gasps]The Mystery Shack! She's empty![runs to the gift shop]All hands on deck! Wendy! Where have all my beautiful paying customers gone?
Wendy:Apparently the two mystery-mouth pals just learned a new word and Mabel just said it over the intercom.
Stan:Well, what was it? What did she say?
Wendy:Uh, she said, uh, well, she said...[she whispering to Stan]
Stan:Huh?
Wendy[she whispers again]
Stan[gasps]Mabel and Soos! Front and center! Why, I oughta make the two of you paint the Mystery Shack for using such language!
Mabel:But, Grunkle Stan we were only using our sentence enhancers.
Soos:Yeah, it's fancy talk.
Stan:There ain't nothin' fancy about that word!
Mabel:You mean[beep]?
Stan:Yes, that one![Mabel and Soos stand up]Now quit sayin' that![Mabel and Soos frown]It's a bad word.
Mabel and Soos:Bad word?![both regretfully wipe their tongues while moaning]
Stan:Yes. That's bad word number 11. In fact, there are 13 bad words you should never use.
Wendy:Don't you mean there are only seven?
Mabel:Wow, 13.
Soos:That's a lot of[beep]bad words.
Stan: Okay, you two, I want you to promise me you'll never use that word again including you Dipper.
Mabel and Soos:We promise.
Dipper: promise.
[Later at Soos's house, Dipper, Mabel and Soos are playing Snakes and Escalators.]
Mabel:Gee, I sure am glad Grunkle Stan told us that word we were using was a bad word.
Soos:Yeah, me too because classy sophisticates like us should not stain our lips with cursing.
Mabel:Yea, verily. Now let's play a nice, wholesome game of Snakes and Escalators.
Soos:Oh, boy, my favorite![flops his arms up and down like a seal]
Dipper:Come on, Waddles needs a new pair of shoes.[rolls the dice]
Mabel:Ooh, eels. Too bad, Dipper. You gotta ride the snake.
Dipper:Darn.[he moves his game piece to an snake]
Mabel:My turn![she rolls the dice]Hooray! Escalators![laughs excitedly]Up, up, up!
Dipper:Come on, escalators, escalators, escalators.[he rolls the dice and sighs]Snakes again.
Soos:My turn![he rolls the dice]Escalators!
Dipper:Escalators, escalators, escalators.[he throws the dice]Snakes?!
Mabel[she rolls the dice]Es-kee-lators![she moves to the escalators]Well, this is your last chance, bro bro. Oh, if you get Snakes again, you lose.
Dipper[Dipper gets frustrated while rolling the dice]Ooh... escalators, escalators, escalators![the dice is thrown and lands on escalators]Ha! Escalators![the dice later turn over to snakes]
Mabel:Snakes.
Dipper:Bah![beep]![he quickly covers his mouth as he realizes his mistake]
Mabel:Oooooo! You said number 11!
Dipper:[babbles for Mabel to understand]I-I-I didn't mean... You gotta understand, Mabel, I was trying... What I meant to say... Some things just slip out. You gotta understand!
Mabel:Don't worry, Dipper. I understand.[she pause]Grunkle Stan![she runs out the door] Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan![starts running to the Mystery Shack.]
Dipper[starts running after her and screams]Mabel![after Dipper catches up to Mabel]Mabel, no! Please don't tell!
Mabel:But, you said "[beep]"![promptly covers her mouth as she realizes her mistake]
Dipper:A-ha! Now I'm gonna tell Grunkle Stan on you!
Mabel:Not if I tell first!
Dipper:I can run faster than you!
Mabel[Mabel riding on the back of an ice cream truck]See you at the Mystery Shack! Hahaha![the truck turns left, away from the Mystery Shack direction]Oh, no!
Dipper[ he barges into the Mystery Shack]Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Stan!
Stan:What, what, what?
Dipper:Mabel, Mabel, Mabel!
Stan:Yes, yes, yes?
Dipper:She said, she said, she said...
Stan:Out with it, kid!
Dipper[he talking fast]Me Mabel and Soos were playing Snakes and Escalators, and she was going up, up, up, and I had to ride the snakes. Then we ran and Mabel, he said some things.
Stan: What kind of things?
Dipper:Well, he said...
Stan:Yes?
Dipper:Well, she said a certain word that you said she shouldn't say, and this particular word happens to be number 11 in a list of 13 words that you said shouldn't be said.
Stan:Uh, right. What was that part about the, uh... who now?
Mabel[Mabel walks into the Mystery Shacks eating an ice cream, but throws away the cone]Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Stans, Grunkle Stan![Stan sighs]
Dipper: She said that word that you said she shouldn't!
Mabel: He said that word that you said he shouldn't!
Dipper:...number 13...
[Dipper and Mabel babble on about the word, as Stan stares on disapprovingly, until the two are just pointing at each other and yelling gibberish; Stan eventually grabs their lips to quiet them.]
Stan:Now I'm gonna let go of your lips, and when I do, I want you to calmly tell me what you need to tell me. Understand?
Dipper and Mabel:Mmm-hmm.[Stan lets go of their lips. They both point at each other again]He said She Said "beep]"!
Stan[gasps]Do my ears deceive me?! You two should be ashamed! Time to take out the trash.[picks Dipper and Mabel up by their Sweater and vest and carries them outside the Mystery Shacks]You two need to be taught a lesson. I thought I made it clear. Never- and I mean never- use number 11 or any of the 13 bad words! Now the both of you wait right here and If Soos come tell him to stay right here. I'll be back.[he walks back inside the Mystery Shack.]
[Dipper and Mabel are shaking in anxiety.]
Soos: Dude what happened?
Dipper: Grunkle Stan want us to stay outside as punishment after we say number 11.
Soos: Dude what's going to happen to us?
Mabel:We'll probably get 40 lashes!
Soos: Oh, no![he fearfully imagines himself blinking with 40 thick eyelashes]
Mabel:I'm sorry, Dipper. Grunkle Stan is right. There's no need for words like that.
Dipper:I'm sorry, too, Mabel.
Soos: And I'm sorry for you two.
Mabel:Let's make a vow, guys. From this day forth a foul word shall never pass our lips. We will be good citizens, just like good old Grunkle Stan.
Soos[shakes hands with Dipper and Mabel]Agreed.
Dipper: [shakes hands with Mabel and Soos] Agreed
Stan[returns with a ladder and several paint cans]All right, you three foul mouths. As punishment for foulin' the air in the shack with your potty mouth, you're gonna give the Mystery Shack a fresh coat of paint from top to bottom.[he jams his foot on a rock then hops on one leg]Woo! Wow! Oh! Whoa! Oh, my[beeps]foot! What[beep]genius put a[beep]rock in a[beep]path?! Can't you see I got a[car horn]foot here?! Oh[dog bark]!
[Stan continues saying a bunch of swear words, censored out by lion, foghorns, and various other nautical noises; at this moment, Dipper and Mabel count the swear words he uses.]
Mabel:Five, six, seven...
Stan:And a whole lot of[Car horn, with a side of[beep, and a heaping helping of[car horn, and a boatload of[beep]!
Soos:Nine.
Dipper: Ten
Stan:Aw[dog bark]grabbin'...[Fire alarm blares, he then cries in pain]
Mabel [cuts to Dipper and Mabel 4 fingers Mabel has 8 fingers on each hand and Dipper has 4 plus 1 finger that equals 13 fingers]That's all 13, Guys.[she gasps]
Soos: We're gonna tell my Abuelita ,Mr. Pines!
Stan[worried]No, please! Not your grandma![Dipper, Mabel and Soos laugh as they run back to Soos' house, Stan runs after them]Wait! Please don't tell her! I don't think her little old heart can take it!
[They all arrive at Soos' house.]
Dipper, Mabel and Soos[repeatedly banging on the door] Abuelita!Abuelita!
Abuelita:Well, hello there!
[Dipper, Mabel, Soos and Stan all explain the situation at the same time, swearing numerous times as they do so.]
Mabel: Abuelita, he said...[points at Soos; Beep]and then he said...[points at Stan; beep]...again and he said[points at Dipper with both arms and one leg; beeps and dogs barks, and then he screamed at the top of his voice...[foghorn blows]
Soos[at the same time as the above lines were said]It was terrible.
Mabel:And he—
Stan[at the same time as the above, angrily]Gah, they're a bunch of[horn honks]liars!
Dipper:...Grunkle Stan, he didn't care! Such a stream of [Horse sound, foghorn,school's bell]—
Soos[crying]It was terrible!
Mabel:—I have never heard in my days!
Abuelita[shocked]Oh, dear! My poor, old heart.[she faints]
Soos[gasps]Oh, dearAbuelita! What have these foul-mouthed heathens done to you?
Stan: You two should be ashamed! Makin' an old lady faint with your potty talk!
Abuelita: You should all be ashamed! And if you're going to talk nice like a normal person , then you're going to work like a normal person but first I'm going put soap on each on your mouth.
[After Abuelita put soap on their month Dipper, Mabel and Stan painting her house, while Soos is painting the grass.]
Abuelita:I guess you have earned a glass of lemonade.[she walk to get some lemonade, then she stubs her foot on a rock]Yee-ow! My[Klaxon ahooga horn blares as she mouths "...poor old...!"]foot!
[Dipper, Mabel and Stan gasp in shock.]
Soos[shocked] Abuelita!
Abuelita:What? It's Old Man McGucket and his crazy jalopy.
Old Man McGucket: [He driving by] How do you guys like my new jalopy! [he honks the horn]
[Dipper, Mabel, Stan, and Soos all laugh together at Old Man McGucket new jalopy.]