Chapter 1 - Capture

Plot: Ahsoka is captured by the Inquisitors shortly after joining up with the Rebellion again. Being tortured until she breaks and Falls like they did, she has no way out. At least not until, across the galaxy, Vader feels her. But she felt their bond shatter. She felt his death. So how is he still alive?

Author's Note: Idk what dark hole this crawled out of but be prepared :)

Also, the front cover is from fanart drawn by Asteral_Feileacan on Ao3. :D

~ Tirana Sorki

The memory of the village burning is still haunting Ahsoka. It was only weeks ago and now it's happening all over again. She stands crouched in the shadows, watching as the troops move through the streets.

There's a loose network against the Empire already and she was working with a few operatives. She just didn't expect their location to get sold out so quickly and now the inquisitors are everywhere here, looking for a Jedi.

For her.

Everyone's who's getting hurt here is because of her.

It's another sharp reminder deep inside of her of how tired she is of fighting. That's why she didn't join the fight right away, but – She can't sit back anymore. Seeing what the Empire is doing right here is reason enough for why.

Something dark and cold prickles down her spine.

It's the Dark Side but it feels stronger than anything she's sensed from any of the inquisitors. There's movement on the street up ahead, and she sees an over six-foot tall figure step out of the shadows. He's dressed in armor – a cyborg maybe? – with a single glowing red light on his chest plate. His helmet looks... well, it's clearly designed for intimidation. A black cape billows behind him and she could swear the edges of it look fogged over, like they fade away into the surroundings.

Maybe it's – just that it's dusk.

The figure moves down the street, then abruptly pauses, head turning right toward her.

Ahsoka jerks back against the wall she's concealing herself behind, heart pounding, as she wraps the Force tighter around her mind, hoping it's too much for anyone to sense.

The dark sensation in the air feels familiar in a way she can't describe but she doesn't dare risk reaching out to touch it.

"We've searched the area. Still no sign of any Jedi," says an inquisitor's voice.

They don't even know what Jedi they're looking for, she doesn't think, just that it's one with white lightsabers.

"Double your efforts," orders a voice. It sounds mechanical but also ghostly at once. It's so weird. She very cautiously peers out from behind the building again.

The figure is moving down the street. She should be able to hear his boots crunching against the duracrete but there's nothing. And then the figure approaches the front wall of a building and walks right through it.

Ahsoka blinks, just gaping, but the figure is already gone.

He just... walked through the wall?

Okay, maybeeeee she needs to get some rest. She has been up non-stop for the last couple days, after all. That's probably why she's beginning to hallucinate. But either way, it's time to get out of here while she still can.

**w**

In the end, she doesn't make it far.

She's gotten halfway across the planet to a ship that she could hopefully use to get past the blockade when the inquisitors catch up with her.

There's no sign of the shadow – she probably was just hallucinating things.

She could have defeated any of these alone but she's fighting off three of them at the same time and then they threaten to massacre civilians if she doesn't stand down.

She can't make much choice other than surrendering them – as she braces herself for another opportunity to escape.

This is – bad.

She doesn't know what happens to Jedi or former Jedi but she knows it's not going to be anything pretty. Especially not knowing that she's part of a rebel network.

This is the first real time Ahsoka's been captured before. There was Hondo and the Pykes, of course, but that wasn't like this. It wasn't like the times Anakin was captured by the Separatists during the war. She'll never forget the way he looked after a couple of those times.

Pale and shaken, and for once, too worn to even fight when Kix forced him to bed. She'd stayed by Anakin's bed as long as she could and –

The pain that splits through her heart is sharp enough that it takes her breath away.

Anakin.

He's – he's gone.

It's not a question, not the way it is for everyone else she knew. She felt his pain, sharp and sudden, and agonizing. She has no idea what was happening to him, except that their bond had gone dark and mostly closed off right before. But then she felt an overwhelming sudden agony right before she felt it shatter.

She felt it as their bond wrenched apart, left a gaping emptiness inside of her as though someone cut her heart right out entirely. She thinks someone did, because she's scarcely been able to feel anything but numbness since.

Anakin died.

She felt his death, felt it as – Someone killed him.

She doesn't know what happened but she'll never stop remembering the feel of their bond breaking.

Anakin, who was always there for her when no one else was.

Who took care of her, raised about as much as he could when they were so close in age. He was her brother, but he was also more than that.

The best master she could have asked for.

The one who taught her everything she knows now to survive, even if it's in a world of ash and fire, a world where she doesn't know if she even wants to wake up every morning that she opens her eyes. Not when she remembers with each passing second that Anakin is dead.

She's used to being alone, no matter how much the emptiness eats at her all the time. But she's not used to being alone in situations like this.

And Rex is gone too, even if he's still alive. He said he was going into hiding, to just be with his brothers. And... that's a chance he more than deserved so Ahsoka let him go.

She's faced awful things but that doesn't stop the fear crawling in her gut, much as she tries to focus on anything else.

She's been alone for so long now, ever since the day that she walked out into the sunset, leaving Anakin behind. It's too painful to think of him, knowing what happened. She went back to the Coruscant right after, and she saw the Temple still smoking.

The entire planet still felt like death, like all the light had been smothered out, along with the brilliant light of her master who she could still often sense after she'd left the Order, even if he was far on the other side of the planet. But when she went back the last time, there was nothing.

She didn't want to think of –everyone she knew and how they were probably all gone too.

Nothing's ever been enough to take down her master before, but that was – This was the worst they've ever faced. All she knows is – she's going to do her part to end the Empire for what they did. They won't get away with it. That's part of why she had joined the fight again, both knowing that hiding would only endanger those around her and because of how much the burning village reminded her of the burning Temple, of how for all she knew that that's probably where Anakin died and now she'll never see him again. She never even talked to him one last time. She thought there'd be a later. And now there never will be.

She's felt empty ever since she left the Order. But she always knew Anakin was out there, and that... she could go back one day.

But now there's nothing to go back too. And the wild grief inside of her is bleeding to a furious anger, if she well knows that a Jedi isn't supposed to act out of vengeance. She's not really a Jedi anymore, though. Not that that means she intends to let that blind her, but... She cannot forget what the Empire's taken from her, from everyone.

Nothing can make up for how it took Anakin from her.

And now... no one is coming for her.

She'll have to find a way out on her own.

If there is one.

She doesn't want to consider the if.

**w**

All she can feel now is pain.

Her body feels like it's being burned inside out over and over again and it's not stopping and it's all she can do to try gasping in strangled breaths in between screams. She knows she got – pain enhancer drugs.

Everything shouldn't hurt this much.

The inquisitor finally tires of it for now, after what must've been hours, but they don't take her down. She's still strapped to whatever she's on, struggling to breath. The world spins round her whenever she opens her eyes so she squeezes them closed again, breathing shakily. Her eyes are burning with tears.

She thinks even if she could try escaping, she's too exhausted to move.

She doesn't want to die like this.

It's never something that's felt quite so real until now, but –

'Least she'd be with Anakin again if she did.

Doesn't have much else to live for. Rex's is gone and Anakin –

She wishes he was still here. She just – wants to see him again.

Wants to find him.

But there's nothing left to find.

Master? She thinks desperately into the Force but it's useless because she knows Anakin's gone.

Anakin had reached for her once too, the last time she ever sensed him. Right before the clones turned on her.

She doesn't know what he wanted. She'll never know. All she knows is that he felt lost and scared, and she knows he can be scared but she's never once felt him scared like that.

Much like the way she is now.

Master?

But he's gone. It's foolish to reach out for him but she just – needs this pain to stop.

At least there's no one here to see when the tears blur her gaze, spilling silently down her cheeks. She has no idea how the world has come to this, but it feels so dark and hopeless and empty, that part of her doesn't even know what she has to fight for anymore.

Except that she's not letting Anakin's death go unpunished.

She must've faded out of consciousness, but she jerks back awake when the door opens again. It's one of the inquisitors. "Ready to talk?" he asks.

She says nothing. It's too much to even try to focus on his vague shape in front of her or try to identify which one it is.

The rest of his words go over her head entirely, but she still can't stop herself from flinching when she hears the machine whirring to life again.

Electricity crackles into her, electrifying her still burning nerves. She didn't know she could feel more like she was on fire than she already did.

Anakin she thinks again desperately but she knows it's pointless.

The one thing she cares about the most is gone and it's never coming back and – she's alone.

Something cold snakes through her, despite the burning pain. It's too much for her to notice much of her surroundings, but she could still swear she sees someone... float through the door? It's the same armored figure from before.

She's definitely hallucinating now.

The figure feels angry.

Something cold and dark lashes out in the Force and the inquisitor stumbles back, eyes going wide. She can't see what's happening to him. All she knows is that his life abruptly fades out like nothing and he falls motionless to the floor, dead, with no visible injuries. Unless it's just that she's hardly aware of anything past her own screaming.

The figure flicks a hand, and the machine abruptly shuts off. He's moving closer and something so familiar touches her in the Force. It feels dark like a black hole but still with an overpowering brilliance she's never felt before, except – Oh Force.

This can't be real, though. It doesn't even –

"Ahsoka?" the figure asks, standing in front of her. The voice is unfamiliar but the way he says the name... is. Only Anakin has ever said her name like that, like she means everything to him.

But it doesn't make sense. She's definitely hallucinating now. Maybe the drugs they gave her are starting to play tricks on her mind. She's heard that before.

"Anakin?" she rasps, wincing painfully.

He steps closer, his right hand touching her arm.

She jerks, pain sparking through her at the very physical touch. But it's very real. And that means – What does it mean?

He pulls back just as quickly, hands moving to deactivate the restraints holding her in place. She falls, unable to catch herself, and arms surround her, holding her tightly. The armor feels cold against her montrals.

She presses her face against it anyway. The coldness is almost a relief from the burning pain throughout her.

"I'm here," he tells her softly, despite the warped-ness of the voice. He lifts her into his arms carefully, carrying her out the door. "I did not know it was you. I didn't know they took you or I would have come long ago."

The words only half make sense but – this is Anakin and he's here somehow and she's missed him so much. She's still only half sure if she's even alive or what but it's too much effort to think right now. She just sinks into her master's arms, and the world blacks out around her for a bit.

She doesn't really register her surroundings again until he's carrying her into a small room, lying her down on the bunk in the corner. It's hard and clearly not designed for comfort but she's used to far worse from the war.

Doesn't know where she is or – what.

"I will be back soon," Anakin says, hovering next to her bed. Why's he got that mask on?

He turns to go and an irrational panic lights up in her chest. What if this is just a dream? She doesn't want him to just be gone. "Wait," Ahsoka protests, reaching wildly for him.

Her hand goes right through his arm.

What...?

No, this must not be real or – it would be making more sense than it is.

"I need to get you something to reverse the drugs," Anakin objects.

Oh, that's – Makes sense but –

"Don't leave," she protests, the irrational urge to cry overtaking her again. She doesn't bother to hold the tears back. "I thought you were gone and – "

The helmet tilts a little.

She wants to see his face, to know that this is real.

His hand reaches for hers, squeezing it gently. "It won't be long, Snips. I will come back. I promise."

He pats her shoulder with his other hand, which is now perfectly tangible unlike seconds before. Idly, she notes that both his arms feel metal for some reason. This isn't adding up.

And he walks for the door and fades right through it.

No, not again.

She's either gone insane or is already dead. Clearly.

**w**

It's not long before Anakin comes back, except he opens the door perfectly normally this time, coming over to her and injecting something into her arm. "It should take the pain away," he explains, and she can feel it the moment the drug does start to kick in.

The burning is starting to recede and with it comes an actual ability to focus. The fog in her mind is starting to fade away.

"Do you want water?" he asks.

Ahsoka nods. Her throat is dry and hot and she has no idea when she last drank or ate anything.

His hands land on her shoulder, gently helping her upright and he pushes a bottle into her hands. Her hands are still shaking from the lightning and she clenches them tighter to make it stop.

"Do you need me to hold that?" he queries, hovering.

The way Anakin always used to fuss, whenever she needed him. Because he's really here.

Her mind is finally unfoggy enough for it to truly sink in.

Anakin is really alive. And she's missed him so much, the mere knowledge is nearly enough to make her cry again. but something is wrong. Why does he feel so dark? The chill she keeps on feeling in the air centers right around him.

A sudden tight knot of dread forms in her stomach. This... can't be what she's thinking. He feels so dark and they're still in the facility she was taken to be tortured in, and he was giving orders to the inquisitors earlier, unless she was imagining things, and – Oh, Force. No.

"He has long been groomed for his role as my master's new apprentice"

No, no.

"Anakin?" she asks, heart suddenly pounding, "What's going on? Why are you here? What...? And why did I sense our bond break if you're still here?" That's the part that's confusing her the most.

Anakin shifts to where he's standing next to her bed, hands clenching.

He seems nervous.

She has never seen Anakin nervous when he's facing her. Why would he be? She bites her lip uncertainly, watching him.

"I am not truly here," he replies finally.

She blinks. "What?"

"I died. But Sidious refused to let me go. He tied me to life as... a spirit. Of sorts. I do not – know what I am anymore."

Her lips part as she struggles to find some kind of answer to that because what? "But that doesn't... make sense?" It sounds lame to say but she's so confused, "And why would Sidious do that? Why are you with the Empire?" She's scared to know the answer. It can't be what she's thinking. It can't be. Anakin wouldn't – do that.

"I Fell," he says, after a long pause. Finally, it's starting to hit her what's so unsettling about being in his presence. He doesn't breathe. He doesn't make a sound, unless he's speaking. He said he's not alive, not really here. Is that why they don't have a bond anymore? But – what?

"Why?" she demands, heart pounding, "You – but – that doesn't..."

"The Jedi were committing treason. I saw no other way."

"They were?" she repeats, incredulous. She heard that, but she thought it was nonsense, another lie to explain why Sidious seized power. She never had a reason to think anything else. Until now.

"They were going to take over the Republic. I saw the plot with my own eyes. They asked me to commit treason with them."

She feels cold all over. This is real. Maul wasn't lying. But... Anakin wouldn't lie about the Jedi either even if she can't fathom how what he's saying could be true.

"I don't understand. How could the Jedi do that?"

'I do not understand either."

This doesn't make sense. Anakin wouldn't have made this decision senselessly but – He was groomed, Maul said. He's – "You stood with Sidious?" she asks faintly. She can't help how betrayed she's feeling, and yet – He wouldn't lie about the Jedi.

"I was going to stop him too. I never had the chance. And now I cannot." He shifts. "The Empire... is the only way I know of to peace now."

It's probably unfair that she feels a sudden, wild irrational surge of anger. "All the Empire's done is hurt everyone. I don't know anything about what the Jedi did, but they didn't all deserve to die." They were her family once, even if... Anakin is the only Jedi she could clearly call that as an individual. "And I've seen the destruction the Empire is causing now. They burned down an entire village because I was there. Sidious did this for his own power."

Anakin's Force presence is raging with guilt. "I am sorry, Ahsoka," he replies quietly, "I – I would never have let you be harmed had I known where you were. I found your lightsaber and I knew you were alive, but I... did not know where."

That, she doesn't doubt. For all that her master is saying that he's Fallen, that doesn't change how much she knows he... cares about her. And it could never truly change how much she loves him, and – no matter what he's done, she's just glad he's here. "That was Sidious' doing," Ahsoka says, "He's the one who first tried to have me killed."

Anakin freezes. "That wasn't Maul?"

That's what he thought?

"No. The clones turned on me. Sidious used their inhibit chips – those were real. Rex told me about them right before it was too late. I barely got his out, so he could help me escape before the cruiser went down. But when I was confronting the clones, Jesse said they were under direct orders from Sidious to eliminate me." She'll never forget the sheer gutted-ness of the betrayal as she fought of her own boys, as she's stood there facing Jesse's blasters, while remembering all the years he'd helped train her and they'd done this almost for fun. But then he was going to shoot her down.

"I... did not realize." She can feel his sharp swirl of anger and betrayal.

"He was grooming you," Ahsoka blurts out, "That's what Maul told me. I didn't want to believe him, but..." Maybe she should have. She knew how close Anakin and Palpatine were. She knew how much he leaned on Palpatine when he couldn't go to Obi-Wan or the Council. Whenever she needed someone, she always had Anakin, but he couldn't say the same about anyone else.

"I'll speak to him," Anakin says firmly, "He will answer for this. For now, you should rest."

It's a sharp reminder of how exhausted she really is but she has too much on her mind to worry about that right now. "But – wait. What did you mean about him binding you to life?"

Anakin reaches for her slowly and his hand passes right through her shoulder.

And there's no way she imagined it this time.

A chill snakes sharply through her, a sensation from the Force and her own rising fear. "What – what did he do to you?"

"I should be gone, Ahsoka. He forced me to stay alive." There's so much bitterness and grief there, and it almost sounds like he's – upset by that. Like he wanted to be dead.

The Anakin standing in front of her is a spirit. He might be here but he's also gone. And that means – She has no idea what that means. "But how?"

"A Dark Side ritual. I know not the details."

Her eyes flick down to the single red light on his chest. It looks the same color as Sith holocrons allegedly do, now that she's looking at it. The way his cape fades off into something smoky looking instead of having a solid border suddenly makes

And that means he goes through things because he's a spirit.

"How can you make yourself physical?" she asks faintly.

"It uses... more energy. It is usually not something I can do."

Force.

Her master is literally a living dead and – it probably would be a mercy if he could just fade into the Force and be at peace. But she can't – how could she ever tell him that that would be best? Assuming it's something he could even have control over her. How could she ever tell Anakin that he ought to let go?

She's missed him so much, it's been a constant crushing, aching depression that's been smothering her from the moment their bond broke and really, since she first left the Orde so long ago. It's been nearly two years now. She can't lose him again. She can't. Especially not now that she's facing him again. Trying to live all these months has already felt like as much of a living death as Anakin himself has been living in.

She doesn't know what that will mean, though, when... he's a Sith and she's never going to support the Empire. Maybe he's right that she needs to rest, because she can't think reasonably about anything right now. Her body is still aching, even if it's dulled significantly.

"If you sided against the Jedi, then... how did you die?"

The room suddenly feels freezing. She hasn't felt anger and a sickening, gutting betrayal whipping around him so strongly in her life. "Obi-Wan did not... take well to my betrayal."

But –

That...

"Obi-Wan?" Ahsoka repeats faintly, heart pounding. She feels lightheaded suddenly. "He – but he wouldn't hurt you."

She knows he'd be furious about Anakin's betrayal. She doesn't think the true implications of the fact that he's probably the one who destroyed the Jedi have sunk in yet, but this is –

"I was foolish enough to believe that too."

There's a heartbeat of horrible silence.

She doesn't know what to say. There's nothing she can say to even – anything.

"But at least he finished it. I thought it would be the end. It should have been if not for Sidious."

Why does he keep acting like – "Is that what you want?" She can't help how strangled she sounds.

"I know what I deserve." She's not sure if she imagined the tremor in his voice or not.

She's going to be sick.

"Anakin – "

"You need rest, Ahsoka. And I must deal with my master." He turns to go.

She's pretty sure he's just trying to run away from the conversation now, even if he's not wrong that she needs to. "But – "

"If the inquisitor's make any effort to harm you, tell them that Lord Vader has given you the freedom to stay here and they will have me to face if they disobey."

Lord Vader.

A Sith name.

Anakin is really a Sith now.

The inquisitor who was torturing her...

Did he kill him? She should feel more regret about that than she does but she really doesn't care. It's more the – principle.

He's a Sith and he's also dead because Obi-Wan killed him.

She watches her master numbly as he floats out the door, disappearing from sight.

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