FEBRUARY 13, 2006, 7:30 AM
"Do you have the money, boys?" Pips asked after he got out of the SUV.
"Yes, we have it in this duffel bag," Stump replied, holding a black duffel bag with $3,091 accumulated from the yard sale. The boys gathered around and ran to the cafeteria where the Associated Student Body volunteers sold the Valentine Grams at one table.
"Were you able to sleep well last night, Root?" Stump asked as he opened a heavy door.
"My aunt invited us into her house and we had a great night!" Root replied, "She kept her house as warm and clean as possible, and we ate some beef stroganoff with garlic bread. We even got to watch Robots starring Robin Williams."
As the boys approached the table, a volunteer with long brown hair handed a box of seven Grams to a teacher. Then, she asked the boys, "Hi there! Are you interested in buying some Grams? Oh, and hello, Pips!"
She stared at Pips with a smile and waved. Stump got in front with the duffel bag, "M'lady, we have come to make the biggest purchase of a lifetime."
Several volunteers looked at each other with confused expressions. The afro-haired one asked, "You want to buy three large Grams?"
"Good guess, but actually no," Stump corrected, "We want to buy every Gram you have in stock."
The Latina volunteer insisted, "That is great, but we are unsure if we can make the sale because each one goes to one student no matter the amount of stock. No one wants to see one student being gifted a thousand Grams."
Stump considered another plan, "Okay, how about we make a much smaller purchase for every student in the school? Everyone will each have a fair share of goodies."
The afro-haired volunteer disagreed, "Some candies we have contain peanut and dairy products."
Stump argued more, "We can make the purchases now; the adults will modify some of the Grams to give to whichever students are allergic to such foods."
The Latina volunteer chimed in, "Okay. It is best you all can make a small purchase and move on."
Pips insisted, "But we have $3,091! Don't you people want to send our sports teams to many different schools with that money?"
The kids in the cafeteria suddenly darted their eyes at the boys in surprise. They chattered about how and where the boys got that amount as Principal Stephen Hockaday and ASB Treasurer Greg Malbeck walked up to the table.
"$3,091, huh?" Principal Hockaday said, "Now, I understand you boys are contributing to a good cause, but I do not want you to carry that amount of cash in a duffel bag around the school."
Stump clarified, "We are not going to carry the money around the school; we just want it to go to the fundraiser. Once we have done that, we can continue doing usual business in our classes as if nothing happened."
Greg commented, "We do not have enough stock to sell for $3,091."
Root hastily compromised, "You can sell whatever stock you have and put the remaining out directly into funding the transportation.
Principal Hockaday added, "Yes, but someone will receive the Grams. Who do you boys have in mind?"
IN CRYSTA'S YEARBOOK CLASS, 2:47 PM
"...and that should do it," Crysta's friend Camille said as she finalized the abstract 90s design of the school sports page.
Crysta enrolled in the yearbook class run by Mrs. Lieder in a computer lab. The course spanned throughout the school year. The students were always energetic and vocal because it was the seventh and final period of the day. Mrs. Lieder knew the yearbook-related assignments would be finished in a flash, so she threw in assignments related to cybersecurity and professionalism to keep the students occupied. In the computer lab, each one of the twenty-eight units consisted of a 17-inch flat LCD monitor, a keyboard, a mouse, and a computer tower that ran Windows XP. Cords connecting the units, projector, and printers to the routers and walls were mostly organized with black duct tape. One ceiling light was flickering at the time, but it was minimal. Posters promoting awareness of bullying and misinformation occupied the walls.
The school secretary turned on the intercom to make announcements. "Attention, FernGully Middle School! We have some announcements to make. Due to unprecedented events, the showing of Freaky Friday scheduled for February 24th at Rector High School has been pushed back to March 17th."
The students groaned in disappointment and Mrs. Lieder calmed the students down.
The secretary continued, "We would also like to congratulate Mr. Davidson, the gym teacher and this month's Teacher of the Month, and his wife on their first child."
Many teachers and students applauded and the secretary announced something special, "And congratulations to everyone who participated in the Valentine Grams fundraiser! Especially with generous contributions from five seventh-graders and two NFL players, the school district has received enough money to give our sports teams the necessary transportation, and all FMS students will receive at least one small Valentine Gram!
Everyone cheered and hopped. The secretary continued, "One more announcement: we have a large order of Valentine Grams for one student and her parents came by to pick it up."
"Her?!" some students exclaimed with raised and lowered eyebrows.
"Anyway, I hope you all have a nice rest of your Monday, everyone," the secretary concluded.
When the bell rang at 3:00, students raced to the entrance. On their way outside, the staff members passed them the goodies. Crysta noticed her parents storing her massive order of Grams in their red 2004 Ford Explorer. It did not take some students long enough to look at the scene.
"Someone's really in love with you, Crysta!" a freckled student proclaimed.
"Spoiled rotten—that's my type!" another student commented.
"Two vanilla donuts? I want chocolate!" a third student complained after opening her donut box.
Crysta's face turned a bright red and she hopped in the back of the SUV. She wondered who sent her such a massive order of Grams.
AT CRYSTA'S HOME, 3:40 PM, FEBRUARY 16, 2006
"...Every single one's got a story to tell; Everyone knows about it from the Queen of England to the Hounds of Hell," Crysta sang as she showered herself with warm water and black currant shampoo. She then dried herself with a clean aquamarine towel. She caught something in the mirror with her eye: her penis grew to around seven inches long. Crysta thought the effect was from the warm water.
Then, she rotated counterclockwise to look at her side. The butt was already bigger than Angelica's and the breasts expanded to a D-cup. Even her body fat was more pronounced. "This can't be right!" Crysta thought, "I shouldn't be growing this much at my age! I need to see a pediatrician ASAP!" She dressed in her red pajamas and went downstairs to ask Angelica if she could visit her pediatrician soon. The mother then called the pediatric center for an appointment. After ten minutes of receiving answers from Crysta, Angelica hung up and said, "Tomorrow after school, hon'."
AT THE PEDIATRIC CENTER, 3:23 PM, FEBRUARY 17, 2006
Angelica and Crysta entered the roomy lobby to wait for Dr. Koch. While the former checked in with the receptionist, the latter focused on the marbles racing around a giant, automated, glass-encased marble maze. Crysta picked up a recent issue of the Highlights for Children magazine. She liked the Timbertoes stories and Hidden Pictures puzzles but despised Goofus' bad habits. As of today, Crysta had the habit of skimming through children's magazines because she lost interest in them. While she sat and waited, her mother applied lip gloss to her soft lips and plucked stray hairs out of her eyebrows.
"Crysta Merlot," a nurse called. The two followed the scrub-wearing individual to Dr. Koch's office. The room had an underwater theme with aquatic animals, mermaids, a shipwreck, and treasures. While Crysta and her mother waited for Jordan to arrive, they talked about how Aunt Juliett was getting Melena shortly after eating Applebee's. Not only did she receive a prescription from her doctor; Juliett had to buy a cleaning product named AppleBreeze to clean even the toughest of many pairs of soiled underwear.
A fair-looking lady in blue scrubs and a lab coat entered the room with a smile. "Hello there! I am Dr. Jordan Koch. I will first ask some questions if you are up for that," Jordan shook hands with Angelica and Crysta, "So, how is everyone today?"
"The family's getting along alright," Angelica answered, "I have to look after my mother because she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, but the nursing home is now making arrangements to find her a new place to live."
Jordan frowned with sorrow, "I am sorry to hear that. I hope your mom gets there safely. Anyway, what seems to be the problem with your daughter?"
Angelica gave Crysta the signal to answer the question. The latter said, "I looked over myself in the mirror yesterday. I can't help but wonder what is wrong with me."
"And how old are you, Crysta?" Dr. Koch asked.
"I will be fourteen in less than two months," Crysta replied.
"Okay. Let's be sure that you are going through more steps of puberty," Dr. Koch assured, "I am a pediatrician and [Angelica] is your mother, so it is okay for us to talk about your anatomy."
Angelica informed Dr. Koch about her daughter's unusual transformation, "Now, Doctor. Crysta told me last night she was 'getting very pudgy and flushed.' I also noticed her walking patterns are becoming more 'lady-like' and whenever she had food she thought was delicious, she would hum or even giggle. Crysta did not ask me anything about her mannerisms—only her appearance."
Jordan hypothesized a possible condition before asking Angelica and Crysta permission to examine the latter. Forty minutes later, the doctor returned with the test results. "Okay, so Crysta's body is going through distinguishable changes you would not find in someone her age."
"Uh-huh. Do you get a lot of this in your patients who eat too many snacks?" Crysta asked.
"Food alone did not cause this—it's a hormonal error," Jordan answered.
"Is my daughter going be incapacitated like my mom?" Angelica grew worried.
"No," Jordan debunked. She turned to quiz Crysta, "Now, Crysta. Have you heard of the Benjamin Button disease?"
"No. What's that?"
"It is what makes someone age quickly," Angelica said, "Even a child in fourth grade could end up looking like Strom Thurmond."
Jordan continued with the results, "Well, you have a genetic condition we like to dub 'Helen Parr Syndrome' around here."
A perplexed Crysta stammered, "What does that mean?"
"You…will be passed off as a MILF sometime soon," Jordan summarized as she scratched her head. Crysta grew anxious as her mother hugged her.
"Everything will be okay, Crysta," Angelica assured, "You can still live a fulfilling life."
Crysta cried on her mother's shoulder and instinctively kissed it.