Chapter 28: Bon appétit

While deeply embarrassing, Kuroo's little "discussion" with Yamaguchi has been immensely… educative and benefited him greatly. He felt more confident now. He wasn't quite there yet, but he was making progress. He was training his brain to come to terms with the idea without panicking, which was quite challenging for his overly anxious nervous system.

He had spent most of the evening in Kenma's office, having secured the exclusive right to stay during his stream, provided he kept quiet. Slouched on the small couch at the back of the room, he couldn't see the screens clearly but instead focused on listening to Kenma's voice. He had to admit, aside from simply being close to his boyfriend, this setup was ideal because Kenma's office was the only room in the house with AC.

He was beginning to fall asleep, his mind caught between wakefulness and sleep going off in unlikely memetic directions, retransforming all the noises around him to materialize them into something else. Eventually, he came more or less back to his senses. He looked at the time: 1:30 AM. Well, time to go to bed ! He straightened up to go out, Kenma noticed and waved goodbye with a smile.

"See you tomorrow," the blond signed to him before turning back to his screens. Kuroo quietly opened Kenma's door, careful not to make any noise since Akaashi and Bokuto were surely asleep by now. He closed the door gently behind him, but as he was about to step out into the hallway, he paused, caught off guard by faint sounds coming from further down the corridor. He couldn't quite make out what it was and leaned forward a bit to get a better look.

Oh: apparently, his boyfriends weren't sleeping. There they were, Akaashi pinned to the wall by Bokuto, the two of them kissing like the world was about to vaporize.

Kuroo pressed himself against the door to not be spotted. Yes, he could no longer see them, but he could still hear them! The sound of their suckling breaths, their distraught mouths. Kuroo blushed, feeling the blood rush to his head. He was well aware that Bokuto and Akaashi didn't knit sweaters together when he wasn't squatting their bed, but this was the first time he'd bumped into them, and he had absolutely no idea how to react. So he did nothing.

He looked up again after a moment, leaning against the doorframe, his gaze turned towards the living room. The mirror in front of him reflected the hallway, and he instinctively looked away. His breathing began to quicken, and his head to spin. His curiosity - or his libido - made him look up again. He could see them in the mirror in front of him. His heart was pounding against his ribcage. A sensation, at once burning and freezing gripped all his limbs.

He couldn't look away now. The two lovers had momentarily separated, now looking intensely at each other, their eyes reflecting the urgency of their desire. Bokuto plunged his head into Akaashi's neck, nibbling his skin. Kuroo saw his hand glide over his lover's skin to finally slip into his pants. Akaashi let out a groan that was quickly swallowed up in a kiss. Without letting go of his lover's lips, the brunet managed to pull down the handle of the door leading to the master bedroom. Bokuto noticed and freed his hand. Akaashi grabbed him by the elastic band of his pants and dragged him into the room. The door slammed behind them, and Kuroo found himself alone in the hallway.

He caught his breath, now aware that he'd been holding it all along. Okay, he was very, very hot there. He waited several seconds before stepping into the corridor. He tiptoed all the way to the stairs leading to the upstairs room, which was quite tedious since his legs were wobbly and he suddenly had a very poor perception of space. Nevertheless, he managed to make it to his bed. He wrapped himself in the blanket, trying as best he could to fall asleep without thinking about what he'd just witnessed. Easier said than done!

At first, he felt ashamed to think about it. Then he remembered how at the very beginning of their relationship, he'd averted his eyes every time he witnessed a kiss between his boyfriends. Or rather, every time one of them realized he was looking at them. The thing had amused them and he'd been told it was no trouble for him to do it. If it didn't bother him, it didn't bother anyone. He just had to expand now.

He could have gone back into Kenma's room to leave them to their privacy. No, instead he had decided that spying on them in the mirror was a better idea. And if he was honest with himself, he had to admit that it was indeed an excellent one. But now he couldn't tear himself away from the thought, as his mind began to imagine what was going on behind their closed door. He surrendered himself completely to the vision of his fantasy, forfeiting his guilt and his shame. Without warning, the fantasy changed form, and without his conscience consulting him about it, he found himself involved in the scenario played out by his mind. Pleasure swelled inside him, his body on the verge of explosion. He drowned all the more in this imaginary vision, his flesh burning as if everything were real.

Ecstasy brought him back to himself. His heart was pounding, his ears were ringing and his chest was heaving with the frantic rhythm of his breathing. He turned to lie on his back. He ran a hand through his hair, damp with sweat, and let out a sigh.

Well, at least the psychological block seemed to have given way.

-/-

Kuroo had fallen asleep almost immediately after that and he woke up the next morning, his body both light and extremely heavy, his skin still clammy with sweat. He lay in bed for several minutes before deciding to get up. He grabbed some clean underwear and a T-shirt and headed back downstairs. All was quiet and no one was up yet.

He entered the bathroom, taking care to close the door quietly. The contact of the hot water against his skin completely phased him, and he remained motionless for long minutes, staring into space, absent-mindedly passing the showerhead from one shoulder to the other. While he would normally over-analyze his feelings, he did not. His mind was just empty, as if drained, but soothed. The tension built up in his muscles was gone. He finished up his shower and dressed.

Just as he was heading toward the kitchen, he heard muffled voices coming from behind the master bedroom door. He stopped in his tracks, hesitated, and then finally knocked.

"Come in," Akaashi replied.

He complied and without further ado headed for the bed. Akaashi was laying on his side, and Kuroo came to lean against him, slumping across the bed. Bokuto shifted position to let him lie down, resting his head on the pillow beside him.

"Are you all right?" asked Akaashi.

Kuroo simply nodded. He saw the two exchange a glance, but they did not comment. Kuroo hesitated: was it worth talking about? It was their lives after all, not his... But...

But of course, his brain took action without his consent :

"Hmm... I... I saw you two last night. Not on purpose but… yeah."

'Not on purpose', the jury was still out on that one.

"Oh," commented Akaashi.

His two boyfriends exchanged glances again, before letting out a laugh.

"What?"

Bokuto's gaze found his. His lips stretched into a mocking smile.

"What?" Kuroo reiterated, seriously alarmed this time.

Akaashi laughed lightly.

" I gather it did not upset you too much," he teased.

Bokuto tilted his head, still not taking his eyes off him, his smile widening. Kuroo decided to shake it off and turn his face towards Akaashi.

"I don't deny it, but why do you say that?"

"Bro, you reek of endorphins. And you don't look like you ran a marathon before you came here."

Kuroo quickly realized what was happening and felt his cheeks flush. The other two laughed again. No, worse, they weren't laughing : they were giggling.

"Oh."

What was there to say in this situation?

"Sorry."

Sorry?

Bokuto approached him, resting his head on the back of his neck, breathing in his scent.

"I never said I didn't like it."

"Damn it," murmured the brunet to himself.

Well, Kuroo very much wanted to disappear from the face of the Earth now.

"Me neither" Akaashi commented.

Kuroo heard him try not to laugh.

"Glad I could be of help."

Bokuto chuckled at his mate's remark.

"Well, I think I'll be on my way then," Kuroo declared, pretending to leave.

Bokuto grabbed him by the arm and pulled him towards him, nipping in the bud any further attempts to escape. Kuroo gave in without too much resistance. For several minutes, they said nothing, just held each other. Akaashi was right, it had been rather… enlightening. He felt soothed. He almost wondered why he'd been so afraid of taking that step.

He felt as if he'd broken something inside him a long time ago, without really knowing what. Now, he felt whole again. The intimacy that had so long frightened him had finally been restored. He was ready to welcome the myriad of emotions, vulnerability and gentleness that accompanied it.

He took a deep breath.

"I think I'm okay now."

"About?"

Kuroo inhaled, then exhaled deeply.

"I'm no longer afraid. Well, yes, but less… It's not the same."

"Oh?"

"Like... now?" asked Bokuto.

"No, not now. But, uh, soon."

"Oh, okay, nice."

Kuroo chuckled but added nothing more. He turned to Bokuto. He opened his arms to embrace him and stretched out his hand towards Akaashi, who entwined his fingers with his. He closed his eyes, listening to their breathing. A smile spread across his lips.

Everyone said that summer was the perfect season for barbecues: he had to seize the opportunity, right?

-/-

If he was going to host a barbecue, Kuroo had to get ready for it. For the moment, he knew more or less the guest list, he still didn't know in detail how they were going to entertain them, but he told himself he'd improvise on the go. He'd done his research. Finding resources wasn't easy, but fortunately, Kuroo had learned English, which unlocked thirty percent of the internet's content for him. According to British queer influencer Betany Strivers, the keys to a good "multi-guest barbecue" were none other than "communication" and "using your limbs intelligently" (whatever it was supposed to mean), and Kuroo was confident he could handle that.

He'd stopped home to pick up a few essentials and decided to make a quick drugstore run as well. Avoiding the one closest to his place—where the employees knew him well enough to recognize him—he opted for a shop twenty minutes away, hoping to keep a low profile.

He filled his basket with more or less useless items, before moving on to the aisles that interested him most: condoms. The action was simple: grab what he needed and go. But that was without taking into account the diabolical ability of companies to do improbable marketing ! In front of him, spread out over a whole aisle, were indeed the products he had come for in the first place, but their diversity was overwhelming: "Alpha Sensation Plus", "Alpha Booster Max", "Alpha Experium"... He was reliving his first day in Tokyo once again, and he found himself in the same state of despair as then. Couldn't it get any simpler? Was there even a difference? Maybe there was a difference! Maybe the choice wasn't so obvious? In that case, maybe he had to take all kinds, just so he didn't miss out! Panicked, he grabbed five boxes and stuffed them into his basket. He continued to explore the aisle, unable to find anything other than products targeting alphas. There wasn't a single product designed to satisfy omegas that had a penis and wanted to use it ! The world wasn't fair! He was now on the verge of a panic attack, two seconds away from dropping his basket and taking off running. Fortunately, this time there were no Sugawara around to witness his misery. He loved him but was glad he wasn't around to see this debacle.

Just as he was about to grab a new, dubiously marketed box, he heard behind his back:

"Frankly, I wouldn't recommend it."

He jumped and turned around.

"Oh, damn it, Suga..."

The silver-haired smiled broadly.

"Don't tell me you work here too..."

"I don't"

"But I do."

Kuroo felt his blood freeze instantly. He turned slowly, and discovered to his horror who was standing behind him: Yamaguchi. He saw a petty smile creep on his lips.

"This is a nightmare and I'm going to wake up," Kuroo murmured to himself.

Yamaguchi approached to study the contents of his basket.

"What the fuck are you doing with that shit?"

He chuckled as he grabbed one of the articles.

"XXXL ? Are we sure about that?"

"I panicked," Kuroo said to defend himself. "And I don't know, maybe there really is a huge difference between 'alpha sensation plus extra large' and 'Max booster'..."

"No," replied Sugawara and Yamaguchi in chorus.

Kuroo sighed, distraught.

"I've already told you, there are no differences out of cycle, and it's not the type of contraception used in cycle either... It's just to boost the ego of alphas who think they have gigantic dicks... You can take bigger sizes if you think it's adequate, but that shit? Nah, that's nonsense."

"Wait, you already told him?" interjected the silver one, amused.

"Long story," Kuroo hastened to reply.

"Not so much really..."

"Yes, long story."

Sugawara and Yamaguchi looked at him in disbelief, before letting out a chuckle. Sensing his friend's distress, Yamaguchi resumed in a benevolent tone :

"Wait, let's get rid of that already," he retrieved the contents of his basket and put it back on the shelf.

He then bent down to retrieve a product stashed at the very bottom of the shelf: and there it was, the good old box he'd missed so much! He placed it in his basket before looking up again. After five seconds, he bent down again and took a second and, then a third box.

"Oh my god, someone please kill me!" Kuroo murmured.

He saw a devilish smile forming on Yamaguchi's lips.

"On the other hand, when it comes to lube, you can have fun, wait..."

He launched into a monologue extolling the virtues of all the products he presented to him, pointing out their differences and advantages with precision. When he fell silent again, he had already managed to sell Kuroo four different products.

"Anything else?" asked the youngest.

"No... I just want to run away."

"Right, let's get to checkout then."

Kuroo followed at a slow pace. Just when he thought he'd passed the point of no return for interstellar discomfort, Yamaguchi managed to make things worse, when he placed the items he recommended into a gift bag with a yellow ribbon.

"I hate you," muttered the brunet as the gift bag was handed to him.

Yamaguchi simply smiled. In his well-polished customer service voice, he replied:

"Here you go!"

Just as Kuroo was about to leave, he dealt him the final blow:

"Have fun!"

Oh, the little shit. Kuroo hadn't said his last word, and in an equally cheerful voice he replied:

"Yes, I'll send you pictures!"

The younger one chuckled and continued:

"I can't wait!"

-/-

This was it. It was barbecue o'clock, Kuroo was certain of it. Well not really, but it was the moment he'd chosen and it was good enough. The mood was good, the weather mild enough to allow him to raise his body temperature without risking hyperthermia. He'd taken a shower, and with every second that ticked by, he felt his body fill with a pressing mix of need, stress, and anticipation. He was ready!

The only small drawback was that he hadn't told any of his guests about the barbecue… So now he had to find a way to invite them to join him for the celebration. He would have tried the "let's set the mood" trick, but he wasn't very good at that… He couldn't picture himself waltzing into the living room to announce with an ember look and a sultry voice "I'll wait in the bedroom". That was a bit too "80's porn vibe" for him. He didn't mind a bit of vintage role-play, but he had very little confidence in his acting. He chuckled, sorry for his lack of imagination.

What was he exactly stressing about?! It wasn't his first barbecue! How had he done it before? He grimaced, it wasn't necessarily much better than the vintage porn movies... A little gayer, yes, but not that different. He thought back to the video advice he'd seen in his youth: "convey your desire and expectations"... Or was it the introductory video to a guided meditation? Perhaps simply a wiki how on "how to ask your doctor to become your primary care physician". He wasn't sure, but he was sure that the advice was applicable in all circumstances.

He left the bathroom without really having found a solution. He went upstairs to drop off his belongings and stood in front of his backpack. He knew exactly what was inside: the little gift bag with the yellow ribbon. He looked down, detailing his attire. Should he put on something more fashionable? He decided against it. It was an outfit suitable for all circumstances, easy to pull off, certainly without artifice, but he knew it wouldn't grieve anyone. He took a deep breath. He was an experienced adult, he'd do just fine. He opened his backpack and retrieved the yellow ribbon and went downstairs. He headed for the living room, determined to make his desires known. He didn't need a premeditated scenario, he was going to rely on his improvisation skills.

He felt his determination falter when he reached his destination. Akaashi was on the living room couch, Bokuto sitting in front of him, the brunet rubbing his mate's hair dry. They didn't even acknowledge his arrival. Kuroo planted himself in front of the couch arm, and the other two finally looked up.

"Good evening,"Kuroo said.

Wow, he was really bad at improv.

The other two raised an eyebrow but responded to his greeting all the same.

"Uh, you okay, bro?"

Without further explanation, Kuroo placed the gift bag on the coffee table, moving away again in silence.

His boyfriends looked at him in disbelief, not understanding what was going on. Bokuto was the first to react, reaching for the bag, while Akaashi leaned over his shoulder to see what was inside. It didn't take more than three seconds for them to register what was inside. Kuroo found himself with two pairs of eyes fixed on him.

The brunet cleared his throat and announced:

" I wanted to invite you to..."

He wasn't going to continue with his barbecue metaphor, was he? "Convey your desire and expectations," he repeated to himself in his head.

"To have sex, uh, with me. Now...if...you're interested."

Oh, God, he hated himself! He saw the other two exchange a look, before turning back to him.

Bokuto pointed to Akaashi and himself in a silent question.

Kuroo simply nodded.

"Uh, okay."

Just as Kuroo was about to say something, without really knowing what the content would be, he was startled by the sound of laughter behind his back. He turned around, discovering Kenma, laptop in one hand, charger in the other.

"Nerd," he teased.

When Kuroo's gaze met his, he smiled.

"Do you want to come?" asked Bokuto.

Kenma turned his gaze to Bokuto:

"Nah, I'm fine. If it's okay with you, Ji."

"Of course."

"Okay I've got a meeting with Yūji anyway, have fun," he announced with a smirk before leaving the room.

Kuroo was taken aback by the lightness of this intervention.

"Who's Yūji?"

"Work."

"Oh ok..."

Silence.

"Um, do you want to go?" asked Akaashi.

The brunet simply nodded.

Bokuto jumped to his feet and rushed down the corridor, not forgetting the yellow ribbon bag. Akaashi got up too, grabbed Kuroo's hand, kissed his lips and led him into the master bedroom. Akaashi detached himself from Kuroo to sit cross-legged on the bed where Bokuto was already waiting. Kuroo joined them, and Bokuto moved to his back, laying his head on his neck and wrapping his arms around him.

"Is there anything you prefer? Or... Not, it is up to you," Akaashi asked.

"Uh, I'm not really into BDSM, not at the moment anyway."

Bokuto and Akaashi chuckled.

"Oh, wasn't that the question?"

"No, but thank you for letting us know."

It still took Kuroo several seconds to understand.

"Oh," he intervened once the information had sunk in, "uh no, I'm fine with anything."

"Okay... us too. Um, any thoughts?"

Apparently he wasn't the only one to have watched this "convey your desires and expectations" video. Akaashi was even on episode two: "listen to your partners' desires and expectations". He breathed in; he had to play along too.

"Um... To be honest, if it's all right with you, I'd be more comfortable if... I'll let you two take the lead."

"Okay," replied Akaashi with a smile.

Bokuto placed a kiss on his neck and slipped his hands under his shirt to remove it. Akaashi followed suit and, once he was free, took his face in his hands to kiss it. He felt Bokuto's hands sliding over his skin.

Kuroo closed his eyes and let himself sink. That's all it took for him to let go completely.

-/-

Kuroo resurfaced, breathless, dizzy, his skin watering with pleasure. He let himself fall back limply, his feverish body still electrocuted with pleasure. He heard Bokuto fall back onto the bed beside him. He leaned over to place a kiss on his temple and rose to leave for the bathroom.

Kuroo closed his eyes, still unable to regain full control of his brain. His head, resting on Akaashi's chest, rose to the rhythm of his lover's still erratic breathing. His heartbeat echoed in his ear, and he listened as his pulse gradually stabilized. He tilted his head to catch his eyes. His lover smiled at him and ran his hands through his hair. Kuroo welcomed his caresses fervently.

"Are you okay?" he murmured.

"I..."

His voice was still raw, the hoarse resonance ricocheting in his throat. He cleared his throat and continued:

"I've just had a mega-shot of oxytocin and dopamine. I think I'll be fine."

Akaashi smiled. Kuroo managed to push down enough on his arms to straighten up and come close enough to kiss his lips. He didn't last long, however, and he quickly let himself fall back onto Akaashi's chest.

Bokuto came back and threw himself on top of them. Akaashi opened his arm to let him snuggle up.

"Bro, that was something!"

Kuroo raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"I'm sorry Bo, but I think you should stop calling me that."

His statement seemed to deeply upset Bokuto. He heard Akaashi let out a soft laugh.

"Why?" asked Bokuto plaintively.

"Bo, no, you can't, not after this."

"After what?"

"This phallic incident."

Bokuto and Akaashi burst out laughing.

"Okay, but what do I call you?"

"I don't know... Tetsurō?"

"Tetsu...bro?"

Kuroo chuckled.

"No Bo!"

"Ah, ah, ah!" warned the latter, wagging his finger.

"What?"

"If I can't call you Bro, you can't call me Bo."

"But I like Bo," lamented Kuroo.

"No. No Bro, no Bo!"

"But it's not the same!"

"But you used to call me that before!"

"Before what?"

He saw a slightly gravelly smile forming on her lips.

"Before the 'phallic incident'."

The deceiver dared to turn his own words against him.

"Oh, I know!" intervened Bokuto.

"Hmm?"

"Can I call you babe?"

"Pff, if you want, yes."

"Nice babe," he replied, without missing a twitch of his eyebrows.

"Nice babe."

They laughed and silence fell.

Kuroo looked up:

"What about you, Akaashi?"

The brunet raised an eyebrow:

"If we cannot call you by your surname, you cannot either."

Kuroo smiled:

"Keiji..."

He had whispered his first name. Their gazes caught, and they remained staring at each other for a long moment, foolishly giddy with tenderness.

" Meine kleiner igel," murmured Tetsurō.

He saw Keiji's eyes widen before he finally burst out laughing.

"You don't like it? Meine schöner schmetterling ?"

The brunet's laughter redoubled.

"How do you know all this?"

"I didn't ask Chris at all."

"I wonder how this kind of thing can come up in a conversation."

"Not schmetterling then?"

"No, absolutely not."

"What does schmetterling mean?" finally interjected Kōtarō.

"Butterfly."

The answer didn't seem to please him much.

"Keiji is just fine."

No need to argue further in this case.

Kōtarō and Keiji simultaneously turned their heads toward the door. Kuroo followed their gaze, intrigued. It took another few seconds before he could hear a knock on the door.

"Come," called Akaashi.

The knob lowered and Kenma appeared in the doorway.

Keiji opened his free arm to invite him in. Kenma entered, closing the door behind him. Once he reached the foot of the bed he undressed completely and slipped under the blanket to join them. Tetsurō watched him do so, unsurprised by this behavior he had already witnessed. The blond came and placed a kiss on his lips before snuggling up to Akaashi. He cradled his head in his neck, breathing in his scent, which made his mate smile.

"You smell like a satisfied alpha," commented the blond, clearly delighted.

"Well, I am."

Kenma let out a sigh of relief before finally turning his attention to Kuroo.

"Do I smell like a satisfied beta?"

"Pfft, yes. What were you talking about?" he finally asked.

"Pet names," Tetsurō replied.

"He doesn't want me to call him 'Bro' anymore," Kōtarō complains "because of a 'phallic incident' apparently."

Kenma laughed at his intervention.

"So I have to call him by his first name. Can you imagine that he had to meet my penis to start calling me by my first name!" Bokuto resumed, which didn't fail to make his mates laugh.

"I'd met him before," remarked Kuroo.

"You'd met the flabby version, not the same babe."

Tetsurō chuckled.

"Oh yes, sorry, how dare I confuse them! Kenma, any preference?"

"Of flabby penises?"

"Pfft No! Pet names! I tried the German version of 'my little hedgehog' for Keiji, but it didn't find its crowd."

"I kinda get why.."

"So, no 'my little hedgehog' for you either?"

"No."

"My sugar duck then?"

"Kenma is just fine."

"Hmm, no. Kiki then?"

"No."

"Okay, okay, tough crowd. Kitten?"

The blond winced.

"My little field dragonfly?"

"My wild rabbit?" Bokuto outbid him.

"My little skunk?"

"My lovely koala?"

"Oh my god, make them stop !" the blond complained, burying his face in Keiji's neck.

"Of course, my little canary."

"Traitor..."

The other three laugh in chorus.

Silence finally fell, soft and comfortable.

Kenma, who had closed his eyes, began to purr softly, soon followed by Kōtarō. Keiji finally joined them, his deeper, slower purr echoing in Tetsurō's chest. This simple noise was enough to trigger a new dopamine shot in his brain.

The brunet closed his eyes, flooded with tenderness.

He felt loved, and damn it, the sensation was dizzying.

He felt loved, and he felt in love.

He'd been feeling it for a while now. He didn't know if his brain had ever put it that way, but it was obvious to him now.

It only takes a few seconds to fall in love. On average, it takes almost a hundred days to say it. Kuroo couldn't say what second he'd fallen in love, but he knew it took a little longer to really love, for it to emerge in himself so clearly. At first, he'd thought it was a curse. Now, he had to acknowledge the blessing he'd been given, because the miracle of existence, or chemistry, had meant that it had happened several times in a very short amount of time.

"Oh..." he murmured.

"Hmm?"

"I was just thinking… I never said it."

"What?" Bokuto asked.

He turned to face him.

"I'm in love… like… so freaking much."

Kōtarō smiled at him. He took his face in his hands and brought his face close to his:

"I love you too," he murmured against his lips before kissing him.

Keiji freed his arm, sliding his hand through the brunet's hair:

"So do I."

Tetsurō shifted his head so he could catch his gaze. They smiled at each other.

Silence.

Kōtarō and Keiji turned their gaze to their mate. Kuroo had to turn to face him. Kenma seemed surprised by their insistence.

"I've been in love with this idiot since I was ten, do I have to say it?"

"Yes !" Kuroo complained.

The blond rolled his eyes.

"I love you, Kenma."

The blond escaped a wry smile:

"Me too, kuso neko Jiji."

-End of chapter-

Next chapter "Ebb tide"

"Do you want to come to the beach with us?"

Kuroo stopped, taken aback by the request.

"What?"

"Do you want to come? Sugawara repeated.

See you!