Chapter 37: Rue's 15th birthday party

[June 2374 AD – POV Timotheus Mellark]

Rue's and Ruth's birthday was on June 11th, a Tuesday this year. We had all planned to more or less repeat last year's event and celebrate together in the big barn on the farm, which was more than big enough for such a celebration. As expected, both girls did insist to have their birthday parties together again, just like last year, and I had to admit to myself that it warmed my heart to see how well my baby sister and my best friend got along with each other and loved each other like they were real sisters. Would I ever be able to find a girlfriend and, ideally, later wife who was dear to me like Rue was? How likely or rather unlikely was that, with all of my shyness and social awkwardness? One of my earlier fellow students had once claimed that girlfriends did not normally drop from the sky when you wanted them; one needed to become active, go to places where one could find girls, like city centers, bars, and such, talk to girls, and more. Well, Rue had – almost literally – actually dropped from the sky, far away from any city; however, she wasn't my girlfriend, but kind of my adopted sister. Oh well.

I tried my best not to think about those chances and rather considered the situation which was upon us. As a reward for extraordinary performance at school, both Rue and my sister Primrose had got three days off school, and this time Primrose was invited to spend a few days on the farm with us, from Tuesday afternoon to Sunday. I had easily managed to get a few days off as well, and for the first time since we had met Rue my sister Primrose was with me on the farm.

For the dual birthday party, I had arranged the preparations just like in the year before; Mr. Jones got the tables and chairs and made sure that the big barn was clean and nicely decorated, and I took care of the catering and transport. Once again, as soon as school was out on Tuesday in mid afternoon, the invited kids – mostly from Rue's and Ruth's classes – and the few adults who got invited, including the social worker and a couple of favorite teachers, were herded into a bus and driven out to the Evergreen farm, with me and Rue leading in my car. I could sense that Rue was excited and partially scared at the same time, and I could understand both sentiments. Of course she was excited about the party, the cake, and the presents, but on the other hand, despite the separate section on a slightly raised platform for her and Ruth we had prepared, just like last year, having so many other people around was going to be a challenge for her. If it had been just her, she'd have been happy to celebrate just with her grandparents and my family, but Ruth, being so well-known at school, had invited more students that could fit into a single bus. Mr. Jones had been asked to prepare seats for about one hundred guests, and catering had been organized for that number, too; consequently, I had actually had to get two buses this year. Ruthie had been thinking about inviting just everybody at the school, and she had told me:

"Tim, almost everybody at school knows me, and I know practically everybody, both pupils and teachers!"

"I know, Ruthie, but if we wanted to invite everybody, we'd have to rent a small stadium or the Appacolia city hall or so; with elementary school, middle school and high school all together, we'd be talking about more than one thousand people!"

That argument got through, and I added with a smirk:

"Little sister, I promise: When you eventually get to marry, you can invite as many people as you want to, and I'll help getting that organized. Actually, maybe we can already do that for your school graduation party!"

"Yeah, that's something to look forward to – huge school graduation party for me and all of my friends! All students and all teachers! Hugest one ever!"

Indeed, for a Mellark school graduation event, specifically for Rue, that might be feasible, and I was sure that she'd be able to convince our parents, too. Neither Peeta nor I had celebrated our school graduation on that scale, and specifically mine had been done with way fewer people, just family and a smaller number of good friends. That had been the way I preferred, but Ruth was very different in that aspect.

For this today's event, Primrose had suggested to add some more decoration, and Rue's grandparents had had a couple of farm workers set a few rose bushes and lilies into pots; the pots were arranged at the outer ring of the raised platform, and the result looked quite nice in my opinion; besides, the potted plants had the side effect to provide a little bit of visual separation between the platform and the rest of the barn, and this was much appreciated by Rue.

Many of the guests had remembered the great food selection we had had last year, thanks to catering from the Mellark bakeries, and not few of them had skipped lunch at school entirely, as I got told. Just like last year, we had a buffet with a large selection of food, served from four different tables; while the final food serving preparations were ongoing, both Rue's grandfather and my mother, who had managed to be with us today, said a few words, and then Ruth stood up and also pulled up Rue. Both stepped to the front of the platform, hand in hand, and my baby sister also welcomed everybody personally:

"Hi all, and I am really happy to see you here! I guess everybody knows me, right? Can those who don't please raise their hands?"

There was some laughter in the background, and a few kids actually raised their hands for fun. Ruth glared at them, and the hands were down moments later.

"I also assume that everybody knows my best friend Rue, right here next to me. It's also her birthday today, but as she's real shy, I am saying welcome also from her. I have known Rue for more than a year now, and she is a totally amazing and wonderful person. No, I don't just mean her looks, although I am a little bit envious – I would love to have ears like she does!"

Coming from most other people, none would have actually believed that, but coming from Ruth, everybody knew that she was totally serious; she did not make fun of anything like that. Rue looked at her with adoration in her eyes, although I could barely see this properly, as I was still seated partially behind them; others confirmed this to me later. As a matter of fact, as I could see both girls side by side, just from the back, Ruth did look like the big sister; she was a few centimeters taller than her friend and 'adopted sister'. Initially, when she had arrived in the district, Rue had tried to cover her ears as much as she could, with caps and such, but by now almost everybody knew her or at least knew about her, and she kept her ears visible almost all of the time.

My baby sister realized that everybody was looking forward to getting food, and she did not have plans to talk for long; she quickly hugged Rue and concluded her short speech:

"We will be talking enough at school soon anyway, so that I don't have to talk so much here. We are happy that you're all here, and let's find some food now!"

The head waiter noticed her nodding and her words and rang a bell, and with that, the buffet was opened; almost everybody rushed to claim food. Rue just shook her head, and I wondered for a moment when she'd like to stand inline; I pondered the option to ask what she wanted and get it for her, but it turned out that I did not need to. Some co-students had thought along the same line, and apparently, probably from eating together at school, they had an idea about Rue's food preferences. Two nicely filled plates were handed over to her and Ruth by a group of five girls, and to my surprise I noticed that the girls were not in Rue's class, but in Ruth's. Thinking about it, it made sense. I had been told repeatedly that Rue liked to spend her school breaks with girls in Ruth's class, and she had told me that they had made her feel at home. With them, she felt much more part of a group than she did with girls in her own class, mostly, naturally, because they had a similar size. The girls in Ruth's class were of course all preteens, and while Ruth and some of her friends were already taller than Rue, others were not; not knowing Rue, one could have easily mistaken her for going to third or fourth grade of elementary school, and she fit right in. Curiously, those girls and her preteen behavior appealed to Rue a lot, and with them she could relax and feel like the little girl she looked like, and they frequently played little girl games together.

When Rue took a break after eating the food on her first plate, she leaned over to me and told me:

"Those girls are really great, but of course they get a reward for being so nice to me; whenever they need some help and explanations with homework and other school stuff, I help them for free, and somehow this actually works. When I try to explain high school stuff to my own schoolmates, they usually have a hard time getting my explanations, but apparently I manage to explain nicely when it's about elementary school stuff. Odd, isn't it?"

Yes, maybe odd indeed, but I could somehow understand that. Elementary school topics were so far below Rue's level, that they were quite literally child's play for her, and her brain likely allowed her to treat those issues exactly like that, implicitly and unconsciously also finding child like words and explanations.

Later on, when everybody had eaten, gifts for both Ruth and Rue were collected on two large side tables, and everybody had something to contribute. Some had only something very small, frequently something they had done on their own rather than bought, and some had found books they thought the girls might like. Rue and I had also talked about presents before, and we had agreed that we could as well skip them; Rue insisted that knowing that she could end the day in my arms in bed later was the best present she could wish for, and I could well understand that, specifically as I also thought and felt along the same lines. As a matter of fact, we handled birthday presents in a similar way in my own family, and Ruth had, in years prior, also loved to end the day in my arms to be cuddled.

For now, the party continued, and again the concept of having Rue with only her grandparents and her very best friends on the raised platform was extremely helpful and prevented Rue from getting panic attacks from having too many people around her.

In the evening, when the others had left in the buses, we sat together on the porch, Rue and her grandparents and Primrose and I, and enjoyed the late evening sun. Just before dusk, which was quite late at this time of the year, in early summer, I had a chance to review messages on my tricorder, and I found one sent by my twin cousin just a few hours earlier. He had just confirmed that he now had a girlfriend. I smiled when I read that, and of course I was asked what this was about; after all, we did not have any secrets from each other, and he had told me about everything which had happened before already, step by step. Well, I guessed that I could talk about it now, and so I did:

"My twin cousin in Europe just confirmed that his plan worked out."

"What plan?"

"Well, there is this girl who told him a few months ago that she's got a crush on him. Her name is Primrose, like my sister, and she had her 17th birthday today, same day as your birthday, Rue. Yes, I know, it's kind of odd to know three people with their birthdays on the same day, but that's what it is."

"So, what's new about it?"

"As the girl is still a minor, my cousin was not sure how to react, but he decided to risk a step forward. Today he asked her if she wanted to be his girlfriend, and she agreed. Now she is totally happy and he is, too."

Rue looked at me with dreamy eyes, and I thought that I recognized a few tears on her cheeks.

"Rue, what's wrong? Is there a problem?"

"No, it's all right; I will talk to you later."

That was strange. Had I said something wrong? Anyway, I continued:

"I am happy for him. We are both not very social, and we usually have big trouble with big girls. I so hope for him that this Primrose is better for him that his last girlfriend."

"So," Mrs. Jones asked with a smirk, "nothing like that for you yet?"

"No, I guess not. Maybe that's not so bad, after all; if I had a girlfriend, I probably would not be able to spend so much time out here."

Somehow I had a feeling that Rue's grandmother was trying to imply some kind of hint or suggestion, but I did not get it. Some people had that annoying habit to hide another message behind what they were saying, and I was neither psychic nor able to read between the lines. Primrose glared at me, and I wondered again what I might have done or said wrong. She suddenly told me, more like a command that a suggestion:

"My dear brother, can I have a word with you, please?"

We excused ourselves and walked away, and when we were safely out of hearing distance, my sister asked:

"You still don't get it, or do you?"

"I still do not get what?"

"Yes, I thought so, and Ruth agreed. Actually, she told me that I need to talk to you today, before Rue's birthday is over."

"So?"

"Have you ever thought about the possibility that Rue might be in a similar situation like Primrose in Europe was?"

"About what?"

"About having a crush, of course!"

"Rue has a crush? What? On whom? Why don't I know about that?"

I was really surprised to hear that. I had never seen her close with any boy; had she been hiding that from me? Primrose buried her face in her hands, sighed and shook her head:

"I cannot believe that you are that slow in getting it. On you, of course! Who else?"

"What? But she is like my little sister!"

"Yes, exactly, and that's why she's not saying anything about it."

"So, how would you know?"

"Because Ruth has felt it, for a long time already, at least since a year ago."

I was silent for a few minutes, not sure if I was ready to believe that. However, if that statement came from Ruth, I'd better take it serious; my baby sister was practically never wrong about an observation like this. Thus I asked:

"But, does this mean that Rue would like to have me as boyfriend rather than big brother?"

"It sure does, yes!"

"Wow – I never saw that coming."

My sister noticed that I was quite surprised and gave me some time to digest the news. Maybe I had missed the signs, and maybe a more observant person would have noticed; well, actually, more observant people had noticed, but how did I feel about it? After a few minutes of silence Primrose asked:

"So, what's your own view on that?"

"I wish I knew, sister. Maybe I never thought about Rue like a girlfriend, because she's is too young."

"Yes, she is young, and she looks even younger. But you do realize that part of her is much older than she looks, right? She is a teenager, and she just became 15 years old today. In addition, her intelligence may be close to a thirty year old university professor. Look, I know that you are not really interested in that, but more than half of the girls at her age in school already have a boyfriend."

"They do, really? A boyfriend who is like ten years older?"

"No, not usually, of course. But you know that is not really a problem? Her legal guardians love you and they know that you are good for her. And I know that you won't hurt her, at least not intentionally. What you are doing now, ignoring her feelings, that does hurt her."

"But how could I have known?"

"Well, I realize that, and that's why we are talking, my dear nerd brother! However, I had to admit that I also did not see that coming, and I am mostly speaking on Ruth's behalf here. We both know that she's got an almost supernatural understanding of social issues."

I needed a few more minutes to let that settle in. Normally, I would have preferred to take my time to ponder the changed situation, maybe for some weeks or even months, but today was a very special day for Rue, and she had looked sad and worried. So, I should probably listen more to Primrose right now; I could really consider myself blessed to have two great sisters helping me along, and I asked:

"So, Primrose, what should I do now?"

"Ask her if she'd like to be your girlfriend as soon as possible, of course, best this very evening! Unless Ruth is totally mistaken, and I do not think that she is, you know that our little sister is almost always right with those things, this will be the best birthday present you could offer, and it will make her totally happy."

Could that really be true? Would Rue really want to be my girlfriend rather than my little sister? If it was really true that she'd had a crush on me for some time, it would be cruel to let her wait for longer, but was I ready to be a boyfriend to a girl who looked like she was still attending elementary school? But wait, this was Rue – we always hugged a lot, we spend our nights on the farm in her bed on a regular basis, we talked to each other about practically everything. So, from a practical point of view, she kind of was my girlfriend already, minus some special things like kissing. My mind instantly went in that direction and I imagined kissing Rue, and suddenly I did not really imagine her like a little sister any longer. Wow – this was going to be interesting; was I actually not only allowed but even encouraged to think in that direction? I was not fully convinced yet, but Primrose kept talking:

"Come on, big brother, you know that the two of you share that very special bond with each other, like Dr. Aurelius mentioned, based on what you told us. Whatever the reason for that bond might be – when she looks at you, her looks totally show that you are the most important person she knows, and she basically radiates total adoration when she looks at you."

"She does?"

"She does indeed, Tim, and so do you, by the way, when you look at her."

I looked at my sister, not quite sure about all of that, when she continued:

"Just saying that none of the girls you have met so far, or at least those I have met too, have ever looked at you just like that."

"What are you implying?"

"Basically, my dear brother, Rue is in love with you, and you are in love with her. We all know that you are in love with each other."

"We are?"

"Yes, you are, indeed."

That got me thinking, and when I was silent for a few minutes, Primrose talked again:

"You told us that you always sleep with Rue in her bed when you are here on the farm, right?"

"Yes, I do that."

"So, how do you feel when you do this? How does it compare to sleeping alone?"

"Well, I actually wondered about that, too. When I wake up in the mornings, and find her still asleep on my chest, I always feel totally at home and at ease, and I have come to realize that I really like that. I love to smell her hair, I love to touch her skin, and I love to hear her moaning when she wakes and beams at me happily when she opens her eyes. This period of time is usually one of the happiest I have, and I have never felt like that. I mean, I also like it when Ruthie sleeps with me, but she is my sister, and Rue is not."

"See, here you go – what else is this but love?"

That got me silent again. Could she be right about it? I had never really loved a girl outside of my family, and I did not know how that might feel like. Did Rue really have a crush one me, and did she feel for me like I felt for her? Even if she did, was it all right to feel like that? Her age, or more specifically the age she seemed to be rather than her real age, made it kind of difficult for me to actually see her a potential girlfriend, but did that really matter? If she really wanted me and her grandparents approved, was there a good reason to ignore her and my own feelings?

"You are thinking too much, Tim – just listen to your heart!" Primrose interrupted my musings.

[Author's Notes: I would very much like to get the occasional review! That would encourage me a lot to continue writing and publishing.]