Okay, well, let me sum up how the night went before my and Blake's image gets tainted. It didn't go past kissing, everything stayed above the belt, etc, etc. I, unlike my friends (Levi and Yang specifically) know how to be responsible. Side note, Blake is way more handsy than you'd expect. Not in a bad way, or anything, but like… Oh, whatever, you get the gist.

I step out of my bedroom, already in my armor and gear. Blake's thrown on some of my clothes seeing as she isn't going to be prancing around in her dress from the night before. Well, she's currently getting dressed as I step out, but still. Whenever I do, well, okay, let me try to explain what I see.

Weiss is bundled up on the sofa with all of the blankets I laid out last night, and watching cartoons on the TV. Whenever the floorboard creaks as I step, the mass of fluff shifts and the channel is changed to the news.

Ren is currently laying planked on the recliner at a near zero degree angle, using a couch cushion as a blanket. He doesn't even seem to be awake, yet his body is painfully rigid. The cushion isn't even on him, it's being balanced on the arms of the chair and just… sitting there…

Looking over to Jaune, he's just on the floor, still in his dress, and surrounded by towels. He made a nest out of towels. Towels that I had freshly washed, keep in mind.

"Guys!" I exclaim, looking at the nonsense before me.

"Good morning, Doge!" Jaune calls out.

"Why are you… I just cleaned those!" I say, using my arms to gesture at him.

"Well, I asked Weiss for a blanket…"

"And?"

"And she hissed at me!" Jaune exclaims.

"I did not!" Weiss whines, pulling the blankets closer.

Ren speaks up, "She did. She hissed at me too, that's why I'm like this."

I pinch the bridge of my nose, and shoot a glare at Weiss. "I'd expect this from Blake but not you!"

A pouty voice rings out from my left. "You'd expect it from me?" Blake asks, stepping out of my room in a pair of sweatpants and a black shirt that's several sizes too large.

"Yes. You know damn well what you did, damn cat." I say, heading over to the cabinet.

"Hmph."

Weiss speaks up, "I'm hungry. What are you making for breakfast?"

"We have class today, go eat in the cafeteria." I respond.

"But I want to eat now!" Weiss shouts indignantly.

"What are you, five?" Ren asks, sitting up and stretching.

"Fine, fine, children. I'll make some panca-"

Blake tilts her head at my sudden silence. "Doge? Honey? Are you okay?" she asks.

"No… no…"

"Doge?" Jaune asks.

"This… th-this can't be…"

"Canicus, what the hell are you doing?" Weiss asks.

"We-we're out of pancake mix… I-I- FUCK!" I shout, staring at the empty box.

Blake just laughs and pats my back, "You'll live."

"I wish I wouldn't! What point is there to live without pancakes?!" I ask in borderline hysterics.

"Me?" Blake asks, batting her eyelashes at me.

"No." I whisper, now sinking to the floor and hanging my head low.

Ren sighs, "Gods, you're reminding me of Nora…"

"Come on, we need to get going..." Blake says, pulling me by my cape. Hell's Retriever repeatedly smacks against the ground as I'm dragged off.

"My damn pancakes…" I mumble while being pulled away.

Ten or so minutes later, and standing in the hallway of the dorms, I yawn while leaning against the wall. Weiss unlocks the door, and throws it open. I can hear the sound of a glyph, and suddenly, Levi comes flying out of the dorm, in only his pants. He flies across the hallway and into Team JPNR's dorm. Suddenly a loud smack can be heard as he goes flying from their room, and right into RWBY's door. He slams against it, and slides down.

"Owie…" Levi groans.

Gods, what did they even do last night?

…

(What actually happened last night…)

Yang steps into the dorm with Levi, just after they both left the after party. She has this mischievous look on her face as she shuts the door behind them. "Hey, Levi, I have an idea!"

"Do you?"

"Yeah! So, basically, what if we make them think we're having sex, even if we aren't!" Yang says.

"Why?"

"Why not? It'll be funny!"

Levi nods, and speaks thoughtfully, "Godsdamn it, you're right."

"Okay, so, basically, when I say go, make your best… 'sound.'"

"HOOOOLY SCHMOOOOLY!" Levi shouts.

"Not now you dipsh- Okay, no, we can salvage this… Just follow my lead."

"Are we still going to cuddle?" Levi asks.

"Yeah, of course, but still, just think of another sound."

"YANG! PLEASE! HA-A-AVE ME-E-ERCY!" Levi shouts before having to stifle his laughs.

"WHAT MAMA WANTS! MAMA GETS!" Yang yells before laughing.

After they both catch their breath, Levi shouts again, "YANG! PLEASE! IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN A MO-O-O-ONTH!" The two then fall over giggling again. "YANG! SLOW DOWN!" Levi yells as soon as he catches his breath.

All of a sudden loud banging can be heard against the wall, and Doge's voice can faintly be heard, "KEEP IT DOWN YOU FUCKERS!"

This only makes Levi and Yang laugh harder, not even able to make out any more words. Eventually though, they manage to calm themselves down, a while after everyone evacuated, and Yang sighs, "That was great… Anyways, take off your shirt, I want bare skin cuddles."

"Sounds good to me."

"So, if they ask…?"

"I rocked your world, and you held on for dear life."

"Hehehe…"

…

I shudder, and walk over to Levi, lightly kicking him on the side. "You have five minutes, fuckface. We have a job to do today."

"Ngh…" Levi groans.

"Get. Up."

"Go away…" he says, still in an "L" position against the door.

"Levi Amaranth! Get up, NOW!" I shout.

"Fine! Damn!"

"Go get dressed, you ginger bastard!" I command, and he gets off of the floor and trudges down the hall to our team's dorm. I follow him, and find that Jade and Lukas are already there. Jade has a few bits of fluff in her hair, but other than that seems fine. Lukas saunters over to me, a smirk on his lips.

"Sooo… did you two have fun last night?" he asks, a hand resting on his hip.

"Okay, dude, it was great and all, don't get me wrong, but there came a point where I just wanted to stop making out and go to bed." I say.

"And you don't like tha-" Lukas smugly starts before I cut him off by grabbing his hoodie.

"No dude! You don't get it! There comes a point where you just want to go to sleep!" I exclaim, holding him by the collar of his hoodie.

"Doge, you're scaring me…"

"Dude, you don't understand! It was 'please, just a few more minutes, Honey' like nine fucking times! You don't understand!"

"Doge, put me down, you're scar-"

"There comes a point where boobs aren't even worth staying up that late, dude! I just wanted to fucking sleep! You don't get it! Took my hand by the wrist and and jus-"

"Doge! Put me down!" Lukas yells.

"Like, how can one person be so damn hor-"

"DOGE!" Lukas shouts, snapping me out of my rant.

I release Lukas from air jail, and take a breath.

Levi decides to jump in, "What are you two talking about?"

"SILENCE, WHORE!" I yell while pointing an accusatory finger at him.

"Damn, my bad…" Levi says, shrinking into his bed while clutching Zum Seiger.

"Friend Doge, then why does your soul look equally happy and annoyed?" Jade asks.

I put my arms over my body as if that would do anything. "That's a weird question, don't ask it…"

"Oh, so he did enjoy it." Lukas chimes in.

"Obviously… but still… I also wanted to sleep before three in the morning…" I grumble, crossing my arms again.

"Okay, well, in the meantime… Do you have all your gear?" Lukas asks.

"Those aren't correlated but yes. Sword," I pat my sheath, "…ammo," I pat my chest, "…trump cards," I pat my incendiary grenades, "…and cape." I finish, tugging at the crimson cape on my back.

"Great. And I have-" Lukas starts, before a high pitched screech cuts him off, followed by general commotion from the room over, Team RWBY's dorm. Due to me being closest to our door, I leave the door, spin around, and try the door. Upon opening the door, I'm met with a sight.

Blake's currently clinging to the wall, using her aura on her nails I guess, and there's a sound coming from her that resembles the "warning growl" of a cat. That sort of rising "mrrrreeeeoooow" sound, you know what I'm talking about. Weiss is on her knees and baby talking something. Yang and Ruby are both watching Weiss with a look of happiness on their faces, arms in the air.

"Who's a good boy? Who's the best boy? You are! Oh yes you are!" Weiss coos, petting what I can now see to be a small black and white corgi. The dog barks happily, its tail rapidly wagging. Blake immediately winces, her eyes wide with terror.

"What even…" I start to mumble.

"Doge! Help me! Get it away from my stuff!" Blake shouts, by now having spotted me while slowly sliding down the wall and leaving marks in the wallpaper.

"Meet Zwei, guys!" Yang exclaims as a bunch of dog food comes tumbling out of a small package she was holding. "Zwei, meet guys!"

"How did that even fit…?" Lukas asks, plopping himself down next to Weiss and Zwei.

"Blake, it's like, not near your stuff, I'm sure that it's fine." I say, walking over to her, occasionally glancing at the dog.

"Stil!" Blake says, still slowly scraping her way down the wall.

"What do you guys think?" Yang asks.

"I love him!" Weiss proclaims.

"Adorable." Lukas notes, having a staring contest with the dog at the moment. Lukas is losing.

"He's cute, but I've always been more of a cat person. And no, that's not a joke at Blake, like actual cats." I note, shrugging, my armor making small sounds as I do.

Ruby speaks next, "I'm so happy Dad sent him over!"

"Can we keep him?" Weiss asks.

"No!" Blake hisses.

"Hey, can you come down?" I softly plead, trying to calm her down. She just ignores me, still glaring towards the dog.

Yang shrugs at Weiss before responding, "Pretty sure he's just here until Dad wraps up what he's up to, sorry."

Levi and Weiss both go, "Aww…"

"Thank the gods!" Blake shouts.

"Blake, c'mon, please get down. This is getting a little ridiculous." I say, a bit fed up of trying to coax my girlfriend off of the damn wall.

She relents, and drops down onto the table right under her, but doesn't move from there. I just sit down on the table, deciding to take what I can get.

"Oh yeah," Ruby starts, looking over at my team and I, "something happened last night. So, basically, some lady broke into Beacon Tower, and I tried to stop her, but she was really scary, and had this impressive semblance where she like, made stuff out of glass. And then Ozpin called me to the tower this morning, and Ironwood was there, and, uh, there's more to it, but I…" She then blanks, staring off into nothing for a minute.

"Well that's… fun…" Lukas says, taking a moment to stop scratching Zwei behind the ears, who starts to rub against him to try and get back his pets.

"At least you're safe." Levi says, leaning down to pet the dog. Zwei is absolutely reveling in all of the attention, while Blake is now using me as a sort of shield, and peaking over my shoulder. I can still hear that growling from her, by the way.

"Yeah. And then when I was there, Ironwood was all like-"

"Let me guess," Lukas interrupts, "he was trying to have a di-"

Yang shuts that down, "Hey! No."

"Do NOT let that thing near me!" Blake hisses, glaring dagger at Zwei, who is now slowly walking over. I just laugh at the sight of the small ball of fluff waddling over with the dumbest smile on his face.

"Sorry, bud, can't let you up here." I say, watching as Zwei sniffs my boot before looking up at me. What an absolutely adorable little face. "Mmm…. Okay, maybe just for a-"

"Doge!" Blake shouts, stopping me from picking up the dog.

"Sorry! Forgot!"

"How?!" a rather exasperated Blake asks me.

"I-I dunno! Don't blame me, blame my brain!"

"You are your brain!" Blake hisses.

"Nuh uh!" I respond with 'dignity.'

Lukas chips in, "Fuck you mean 'nuh uh?'"

"Lukas! Jar!" Ruby proclaims, marching over to the jar filled with everyone minus Ruby's lien.

I don't respond to Lukas, watching as Zwei now makes his way over to Jade, who looks a little uneasy. "Hey… no… stay, stay away…" she says, taking a step backwards.

Zwei barks, and tries to jump up to Jade, who seems to reflexively kick him away. Zwei, massive smile on his face, soars through the air and smacks into Levi, laying him out. Zwei just sits down on the top of Levi's head, and Levi doesn't seem to mind much. Granted, Levi doesn't seem to mind when anything happens to him.

"Jade!" Ruby says, looking a bit worried about Zwei.

"He attacked me!" Jade shouts, her leg twitching as if getting ready to kick again.

"B-blake, can you, um, get your nails, claws, whatever out of my arm?" I softly ask, considering that she's gotten her fingers underneath my shoulder plate, and is just digging into my flesh in harsh spite of my aura. She does, and whispers a soft "sorry" into my ear.

"Jade, you just knocked out my boyfriend with a flying dog's butt… I'm impressed." Yang says, nodding with respect, for whatever reason.

"Thank you!" Jade says.

"There's no way he's actually knocked out, right?" Ruby asks, taking a lien from Lukas.

"Ngh…" Levi groans.

"He's fine." Weiss says, stepping on and over him to grab her rapier from her bed.

"We've all probably done worse to him and he's been fine." I say, shrugging.

"Like?" Weiss asks, looking somewhat concerned despite just stepping on him.

"Fire, grenades, fire grenades, shotguns, electricity, strangulation via plant mass, revolvers, daggers, strangulation via hands, blunt force trauma of several forms…" I rattle on, listing various ways in which Levi has been harmed.

"Gods…" Weiss mutters.

"It's usually a part of training. We focus on improving our weak points via trial by fire." I say.

Blake nods. "He's telling the truth. I've watched."

"Jade calls it 'get good or die.'" Lukas says.

"Wow. That sounds unsafe." Ruby says.

"It makes us stronger, so that's a good thing. Probably. Don't look too far into it." I say, standing up. "Anyways, we need to get rolling. Speech starts soon, then we get our first missions. Yay." The 'yay' is as unenthusiastic as they come, really.

"Yeah, let's go…" Weiss says, leading the way. Everyone gradually follows suit, save for Ruby.

I don't see this, but after everyone's left, Ruby grabs a backpack, looks at Zwei, and smirks…

Everyone takes their seats in the amphitheater, and I yawn softly. It's been the same speech word for word for the past eight years, and I know exactly how this is going to go. Goodwitch knows that I know this, and is glaring at me (good naturedly I think) to keep me from doing anything. Fair enough. I'm having trouble sitting still, so I'm just messing with one of my shotgun shells as a fidget toy.

Goodwitch clears her throat and speaks as Ruby sits down, now with a backpack on, for some reason, "Quiet! Quiet please. Professor Ozpin would like to share a few words before we begin."

Ozpin clears his throat as he looks across all of the students. He smiles as he glances at Lukas and I, and finally starts to speak, "Today we stand together, united. Mistral. Atlas. Vacuo. Vale. The four Kingdoms of Remnant. On this day, nearly eighty years ago, the largest war in recorded history came to an end. It was a war of ignorance, of greed, and of oppression. A war that was about much more than where borders fell or who traded with whom, but about the very idea of individualism itself. We fought for countless reasons, one of which being the destruction of all forms of art and self-expression. And as you are well aware, that was something many could not stand for. As a result, those who opposed this tyranny began naming their children after one of the core aspects of art itself: color."

I yawn at this point, and I can hear Goodwitch harshly whisper at me, "Canicus! Pay attention!"

"Yes Ma'am! Sorry, Ma'am!" I whisper back, sitting up straight and looking dead at Ozpin, who chuckled a little.

"It was their way to demonstrate that not only would they refuse to tolerate this oppression, but neither were the generations to come. And it was a trend that is held to this very day. We encourage individuality, expressionism, and unity through diversity. As I have said, today we stand together, united. But this bond cannot exist without effort. Which is why today, while the rest of the world celebrates peace, Huntsmen and Huntresses will work to uphold it. As first year students, you will be tasked with shadowing a professional Huntsman or Huntress on a mission. Some of you may be taken out of the Kingdom for several days. Others may work within the walls for the rest of the week. But no matter which path you choose, remember to be safe, remember your training, and remember to do your very best."

Students start to file out, while the first years start to pick missions. I group up with DAIS, and we look at the missions available.

"So like…" I say, looking at our options. "…do we just let it pick one for us? It would be kinda funny."

"Where's the most Grimm dense place they'll let us go?" Levi asks me.

"Uhh… blocked, blocked, blocked, oh fuck off. Oh! There's one right outside of Vale-"

"And that, right there, is why I'm the only one willing to take you four." Goodwitch says, walking over to us.

"Any recommendations?" Levi asks, the fear of the gods in him at Goodwitch's sudden arrival.

"Emerald Forest, right outside of Vale. High Grimm concentration." she says.

"We aren't allowed." Jade says.

"You are now. Put in your Team name." Goodwitch says.

I type in the letters, and it lights up.

"Lovely. I don't think any other teams are even allowed to go here…" Goodwitch says, adjusting her glasses as she looks over a tablet. "The closest team is RWBY, but we all know that they aren't going to stick around, so we should be alone. Thank the gods."

"Damn, you really need a break, huh?" I ask.

"To put it lightly. You're the only team I can tolerate today." Goodwitch responds.

Lukas smiles a bit, "Aww, so you do love us-"

"Lukas."

"Yes, Ma'am. Sorry, Ma'am." he replies immediately.

"Well, come on, children. And Mr. Amaranth." Goodwitch says. "We have a bullhead to catch, and we are getting this done as quickly and efficiently as possible. Understood?"

"Yup yup." I say.

"Copy." Levi says.

"Yes!" Jade exclaims.

"Sure thing." Lukas says.

Goodwitch, pleased with that, nods and speaks, "Alright then. Let's be off."

And with that, we headed off for the bullhead dock. Well, I stopped to give Blake a hug first and got chastised for it by Goodwitch, but it was worth it. It's always worth it.

As we climb aboard, Goodwitch sighs, and mutters, "Now, now we can see if the first years are still as cursed as they usually are…"

No, I didn't forget about this project, I just got distracted over and over and over and over and-

Anyways, a little over three weeks isn't that bad by my standards. Anyways, as always, I appreciate all of you who've stuck around this long, and those of you who are jusy finding this fustercluck of a fic.

See you guys next time, whenever that is.