Author's note: I'm so sorry for being a day late, I forgot to submit this last night! Enjoy!
Rated M+ for explicit sexual content.
"All that I want
Is a hole in the ground
You can tell me when it's alright
For me to come out"
- Paramore
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I can hear the sound of sea gulls crying out softly in the distance.
There are waves crashing against the sandy beaches, if my ears are correct to assume so. There is a feeling of gentle breezes blowing over my face and hair. The scent of salt and water. My eyes are closed, but I know where I am. I slowly open my eyes and see that I am at a beach. The skies are a soft lavender color to signify dawn, with stars speckling across from above me. The water looks dark under these beautiful skies, but I know that it's safe to jump in. I am standing quite away from it, though, and about several feet away from me, I see the faces that I've come to know and trust for so many years now:
Sanosuke.
Yahiko.
Megumi.
Misao.
Kaoru.
Aoshi.
Tsubame.
They are all dressed casually in either t-shirts and swimming shorts, or in a bikini of some sort. They are playing with one another, laughing and having the time of their lives. Sanosuke is hitting a ball over to Yahiko, and Aoshi is standing nearby Misao as she is kicking her feet into the ocean water. She is laughing her heart out, and it keeps echoing inside my ears. Megumi and Kaoru are dancing together like a couple of goofs, giggling as if nothing bad had ever happened to them. Tsubame is taking pictures of everyone with her Polaroid camera meanwhile, looking the happiest she's ever been in her entire life.
I can feel myself smiling from where I stand. This world feels so peaceful and beautiful. I feel like I've been inside this place before. This must be the summer before senior year, before things really started to change for all of us. I look above me as the sea gulls fly idly in the air, their cries also echoing inside my ears. I blink languidly. Am I inside a memory, or some kind of dream?
"Come on, Kenshin!"
I blink at where that sound is coming from, and I look back at my friends as they all stood by, waving their hands for me to come on over. That voice belonged to Kaoru, who is still holding Megumi's hand and waving with her other one. The rest of the gang looks so happy to see me. The air is sweet and cool in its atmospheric bliss, and my head swims with joy.
Suddenly, I feel something.
Something.. very good.
I take in a shaky gasp, my eyes fluttering in surprise. I look down lazily and see someone kneeling before me, my swimming shorts pulled down all the way down to my ankles, and my cock in their mouths. This person is sporting beautiful brown hair and wearing absolutely nothing. I grunt, confused over what's happening to me. I can actually feel the hot, slick tongue of this person swerving around the head of my cock, and they finally look up at me with intensely blue eyes. I exhale, finally recognizing their face.
Soujiro.
He takes my cock out of his mouth and sighs against the side of it seductively, "Kenshin. Stay here. With me.."
I don't know what to say or how to respond to that, opting to just stare at him like he's insane.
"Come on, Kenshin!" Kaoru's voice now carries a sense of urgency, and I look back at her, her face now impatient and the hand she used to wave me over is now on her hip. Megumi looks restless with me also. Doesn't anyone realize what is happening here? It's like they can't see Soujiro sucking me off.
I cry out in pleasure as Soujiro goes back to licking the head of my cock, and even now, I still can't find my voice. I look down at him as he moans delectably, "Stay here with me.."
Stay with Soujiro, or go with my friends?
Stay with him, or go with them?
Stay with h..
"What's the hold up, Kenshin!"
"Stay with me, Kenshin.."
I shut my eyes, gritting my teeth. This feels too good.
I don't know what's happening..!
...
My eyes flutter open with a startled gasp, and the pleasurable feelings from the dream still continues on, much to my shock. I look down from where I lay on the bed and see a form under the blanket. My hand outstretches towards it to rip it off of it and see, much to my surprise, Soujiro sucking me off. His eyes are half lidded with a dark desire in seeing me cum, and I gape at him stupidly for what felt like at least a minute. The skies outside looks soft and bright to signify the early morning, which is a different contrast to the one I saw in my dreams. There is no way that this is happening to me. This is something that I'd read about, or look at, whenever I wanted to behave like the horny teenager that I am when snooping around with dirty materials.
And then, a chuckle erupts from under my throat, and I roll my eyes in sheer amazement at what I'm witnessing.
I can't fucking believe I get to be with this perfect creature.
I am the luckiest young man alive!
"H'oh, man," I continue to chuckle with my eyes closed towards the ceiling, "You really couldn't wait until I woke up?"
"Hmm," He moans and stops licking me to answer, "I mean.. I wanted to wake you up with an orgasm to start the day right, but it looks like you woke up before the grand finale."
I laugh, "You're an idiot."
"Only for you."
"God," I moan, looking back at him as he suckles on my head hungrily, "This is something I've always wanted to happen to me."
He giggles, continuing on with licking and sucking me off. My eyes flutter close in pleasure as he does so, running my hands through his baby soft hair meanwhile. His mouth feels like hot, wet silk against my cock. That tongue of his will surely be the death of me someday. I groan every single time I feel it slide against my flesh. We continue this for another couple of minutes or so, until I couldn't take it anymore and sit all the way up, though he continues to slobber around the base of my cock meanwhile. Tch. Horn dog. I rub my hand from his hair down to the back of his neck and now downward towards his spine, trying to reach his tailbone.
He moans with a question mark, and I simply take my dick out of his mouth to maneuver myself so that I can use my arms to help him into position; I have him raise his ass higher towards the ceiling and sitting on his kneecaps comfortably against the mattress. I cross his ankles and have the side of his face also cushioned on the bed so that he can see me slant my face over his hole to start to eating it. He shivers with a throaty groan, enjoying the way my hands grope the back of his thighs and legs all the while.
"God, Kenshin," He sighs carnally, "I love the way your tongue feels..!"
I groan in response as I start tonguing his hole, making a point to really get him as wet as I possibly can by spitting into his hole in intervals every so often. I eat him out and can feel his body flinching and twitching in joy from this action, and I realize how great he tastes right now.
"Is your hole really sensitive first thing in the morning?" I sigh, thrusting my tongue into him as he writhes in pleasure.
"If I didn't know it then, I do now!" He whines, making me smirk. He's so cute.
"Yeah, I can tell," I breathe, "Your body's much more responsive to me right now. And your hole keeps trembling anytime I lick it.."
"K.. Kenshin! Stop.. talking about it like that!" He chuckles, though he sounds genuinely embarrassed.
"I'm sorry. I can't help but notice these things about you.."
He grunts, "Mm.. You're quite observant over me, yes.."
"Can't help it, Sou. You're too hot for me to ignore.." I spit a real mouthful of saliva into his hole and he exhales with lust, which in return makes my cock twitch in eagerness to get inside of him already.
"Kenshin.."
I continue to eat him out for the next minute or so to make sure he's absolutely soaking in his ass, my saliva dripping over the back of his legs. It is truly a sight to behold, although I know I'm not through with him just yet. He really brought me over the edge last night with his usual bullshit, but two can play this game. I lean back to signal my completion of this objection and he lowers his ass intuitively, sitting upwards so that we can look at each other face to face. I lean in to kiss his forehead lovingly, just because, and he hums happily with a cute little smile.
Like I said, he's so cute..
I want to rip him apart now.
I suddenly shove him back onto the mattress, moving myself so that I can grab the back of his legs again to haul him up towards my lap to position myself for entrance. He is breathing heavily meanwhile, his face flushed with desire. God. Even now after all this time, he's still the most beautiful boy I've ever laid eyes on. I never would have guessed in a million years that we would end up like this. When I first saw him in front of my homeroom near the beginning of my senior year, I really thought he would go out with literally anybody else in the whole world; girls clamored around him, and guys clearly thought he was interesting. He could've had anybody he wanted in our entire school.
In the end, though.. he simply chose me out of everyone else.
I begin to pierce his hole with my cock and nearly find myself salivating of the way Soujiro's eyes flicker backwards from that, his mouth slowly opening as I start thrusting into him gently. He tastes good in the morning, his body is much more responsive to me in the morning, and now? Even his hole feels much tighter early in the morning, too. His legs are spread open for me and I start to thrust a little harder now, trying to enjoy the way his face looks. He looks so desperate to cum already, it's maddening.
I reach over to stroke the side of his face lovingly, and he sighs blissfully, turning his head towards my hand. He opens his mouth and with his lips and tongue, tries to suck on two of my fingers. I added in a third one, his eyes watching me. He starts to bob his head towards my hand, as if performing a blowjob on my fingers, and I shiver in sexual longing. I push my cock in deeper and faster into his ass, and his eyes roll back, continuing to suck my fingers all the while. It sounds kind of fucked up, but I'm sure if we have never met, Soujiro could have very easily gotten himself into a threesome with two dudes at once. He'd have one fuck him and another's dick in his mouth like this.
Thank God we met, honestly.
I think monogamy looks better on the both of us. If I never met him, I could've easily gone on banging a whole bunch of people and never truly finding contentment with just one partner. I do grow bored of people easily, truth be told. I don't know why that is. With Kaoru and Tomoe, they kept my attention for a while because they both were otherwise extremely patient with my shit. But with Soujiro, it's different. He pushes me. He surprises me.. Delights me with how far he wants to go with me, but then acts like he can very well live without me.
Let's just say, Soujiro just drives me absolutely fucking insane.
"How are you feeling, Soujiro?" I groan, my thrusting still steady at an even pace.
He retreats my fingers out of his mouth and whispers at a tone so low, I almost couldn't hear him, "This is the best weekend ever.."
My lower body radiates a deeper level of pleasure at the sound of his answer.
I gulp, my other hand gripping his hip for some reason, "Yeah..? Do you feel good?"
He licks my finger and moans, "My body feels.. amazing.."
Shit!
I stop thrusting and quickly grab the base of my dick to pull out, taking a few breaths. He blinks at me confusingly, and then asks, "Kenshin? What's wrong?"
I start panting, trying to catch my breath from that. I don't know why, but his voice sounds way sexier this morning than all the months I've known him. And for some reason or another, I almost can't hold my cool around him like I usually can. Well, not counting all those other times that I've lost my shit on him because he pissed me off or something. But the way he sounds right now.. how he looks.. his moans and how he's sucking my fingers off..
I don't know, but it just feels differently.
I look at him uneasily, and he frowns at me in confusion. I shake my head to disarm him, "I-it's nothing. I almost came and wanted to stop before I did. I wanted to fuck you until you cum first."
He looks at me for a long time, not saying anything. I can only hear the soft whirring of the heater nearby. The only thing illuminating us right now are the smallest slivers of light that peeks through the mini blinds of the windows near us. His body looks so beautiful up close like this, and I gulp again, trying to calm down.
Suddenly, he inches closer near me and mumbles in a voice so low that, again, I almost couldn't hear carefully, "Do you ever feel like an outsider?"
My eyes snap open at that, and I gaze back at him in surprise, "What?"
His eyes look so somber under the early morning light like this.
"Do you ever feel like.. you didn't belong?" He takes his hand to gently comb the bangs out of my eyes to look at them deeper now.
I gape at him for a few moments, before I shake my head, "No. I mean.. I.. I don't.. ever feel like I was ever.. an outsider."
His eyes take on a much sadder now, fluttering down to look at his own chest, ".. Oh."
Silence ensues between us, and I look at him with concern now. What does he mean by that? An outsider? I did called him that inside my mind many times now, so to hear it come out of his mouth feels like a shock to me. I suppose maybe Soujiro always felt like he didn't belong anywhere, no matter how many times he had to move away. He is the son of a very rich and powerful man who could have Japan by the throat if he desires to, and probably does with the way he carries himself. If he or his father ever ran for politics, it could spell a much different future for Japan for all we know. Soujiro is and always will be, someone of utmost importance.
I grunt, looking at the floor now in embarrassment, "I mean. I always felt like.. I was.. or well.. that I am, inferior."
That got his attention. He gasps quietly to himself and looks back up at me, his eyes wavering, "Kenshin.."
I chuckle casually, scratching the side of my face awkwardly now, "It's nothing serious, really. It's just, every time I look at you, I know that this is something that just shouldn't have happened. I'm literally.. I mean, I am still trash compared to you. I have nothing to give you or to anyone else. My friends whom I care about a lot, even they seem to have more than I do, somehow. More money, more family relationships, more.. I don't know. Normalcy. Stability. More.. something. I am always, always lacking something compared to everyone I know. Always left behind. It's weird."
He leans in to kiss right under my eye before gently rubbing his face against my own lovingly, sighing, "Oh, Kenshin. When I said.. an outsider.. these things are not what I mean.."
"Huh?" I blink at him now, "Then.. what do you mean by that?"
He kisses my lips chastely, which, despite the innocence of it, still manages to get me hard again, "I mean.. that people hate you for being able to be attracted to the same sex."
"Oh," I gape at him idiotically for a few seconds before chuckling, "Okay. Then, yeah. I.. I think I do get it, then. I do feel like I can't really relate to Sano or Yahiko or any other guy in my life anymore. Is that what you mean?"
"Mm hmm," He kisses my cheek and then my lips again, "I'm sorry. I don't want to bring up anything stupid like this right now while we're fucking. It's still just something that bothers me.."
"Bothers you?" I take his face into my hand again gently like last time, "What is bothering you?"
He sighs sadly, "The fact that I can't be like everyone else. In that way. I can't even like the girl my father wants me to marry. I can't like the girlfriend I had before. I can't just be.. I can't.."
"Soujiro," I cut in gently, now the one kissing under his eye lovingly, "You don't have to be like everyone else. You're perfect just the way you are. Who you want to be with.. who you love.. all of this is natural. Do you understand? You're already normal."
He tries to smile but it looks so bittersweet so he instead inhales sharply, trying to stop himself from crying, "Then, stop calling yourself inferior! You're not inferior at all. I want you to stop seeing yourself that way. If I'm normal, then so are you. And.. you do belong somewhere.."
"Really?" I whisper, rubbing my thumb over his cheek.
No one has ever spoken to me like this before.
"Yes. You do. With me.."
He kisses me chastely on the lips again, before he spreads his legs again on my lap and I take in a gasp when I can feel myself sucking into him. He leans in next to my ear and whispers carnally, "As well as.. inside of me.."
"Sou.." I couldn't finish saying his name because he starts riding on my cock, making me moan in pleasure instead. He takes me into his arms and we fall backwards back onto the mattress, where I can begin to thrust into him again. He moans deeply as I go harder into him, licking the inside of my ear that prompts me to groan under my throat at that.
"How can you be inferior when you're the best thing that's ever happened to me?" He whispers, grinding his ass on my cock.
I gasp at that, "Soujiro..!"
"How can you call yourself inferior when I love you?"
"Soujiro..!"
"How can any of this be inferior when it feels so good!"
"Soujiro!"
"Tell me! Tell me you aren't inferior and I'm not an outsider!"
I exhale helplessly, but with the remaining strength and breathe I whisper in a shaky tone, "You're not an outsider and I'm not.. inferior.. agh!"
Our fucking quickens the pace and he's not letting up with his talking.
"Tell me I'm the only one for you!"
"Fuck! Soujiro, arrgh!"
"Tell me!"
"You're the only one for me, Soujiro! Huuuh, this feels amazing!"
"Yeah? Fuck me harder, then!"
God, this is too much! I grit my teeth and do what he tells me to, though. That's what I hate about Soujiro deep down; he tells me to do something and I can't help but do it. He's got me whipped and he knows it. I go faster and harder, and he is grabbing my shoulders as he moans louder than before. The sound of saliva and my cock fucking his hole sounds incredibly arousing.
He wraps his legs around my hips, whispering into my ear again, "I'm ready for my first cum dump of the day."
"Oh, God," I feel myself weaken at that, my hips still drilling into his hole rapidly, "Soujiro..!"
"Yeah," He moans into my ear, "Show that tight little hole who's boss. Give it to me."
I couldn't take it anymore. I cum into his ass and he lets out a long, drawn out moan as I am convulsing into him. I almost cried as I try to bite down my own moans into the mattress next to his ear, which clearly entertains him; he seems to take in an added sadistic pleasure of making fun of me by imitating my moaning in a mocking tone before giggling at my expense. After the last drop spurts out of my cock in his ass, we are panting and looking at each other dreamily, our faces and bodies already coated in sweat.
He wants to make fun of me, huh? I'll show him.
I take his cock in my hand and start pumping, his body tensing as he gasps in surprise, "K.. Kenshin..!"
I lean in to start licking the side of his face to enjoy the taste of his sweat on my tongue. He exhales in lust as that as I go faster with my pumping, persuading him to arch his back for me. His breathing quickens the faster I go, and pretty soon, he finally cums, his semen splashing all over his chest and stomach. Of course, I don't stop there and keep going, shocking him in the process.
"W-wait!" He utters, "Please, don't.. ahhh!"
I keep pumping and he immediately grabs my arm that I'm using to do so, as if trying to stop me, to no avail. I keep at it as suddenly clear liquid starts gushing out of his cock, and he starts sobbing in pure rapture. I growl in lust at this scene but I don't stop. He's squirting everywhere now, and some of it got on my face and hair as well. I keep going until the last of his squirting is down to a dribble, his entire body and lower lip trembling from this intense torture.
It's finally over and we are back to trying to catch our breaths, and his skin is practically doused in perspiration. He eyes me like he's either terrified of me or in awe of how far I'm willing to go to make him cum so hard like this. I lean my forehead against his and mumble in a guttural tone, "Don't. Ever. Fuck. With Me. Again."
He shivers, his voice thin and meek, "I won't.."
Uh oh. I look down at our torsos and can feel, much to my disturbance, that I'm getting hard again while my cock is still in his ass. He senses this too, blinking down at our torsos in bewilderment. I don't think this has ever happened before. I cum once and I'm good for at least the next half an hour at best. How am I hard again so soon? I guess witnessing Soujiro practically screaming and squirting like that did it for me.
"You're.. still hard." His voice is deep with pruriency and I fucking hate him for that.
"Soujiro.. no.." I shake my head.
He bites his lower lips while smiling at me lewdly, his eyelids lowering and eyebrows shooting up. He nods with a chuckle and starts kissing me, shoving his tongue into my mouth. I moan shakily at that, and find my hips start to move on their own, slamming into him. The cum I gave him moments ago provided extra slippage for my cock to easily go in and out, and it makes this sex feel so much better than before. I grit my teeth and bite down my groans and rapid breathing the harder I go, and Soujiro keeps writhing in bliss underneath me meanwhile.
"I'm so lucky I'm getting more cum!" He sighs in a higher tone of voice, dragging his fingers down my back.
"God, stop talking like that, or I'll..!" I slam my forehead against the bed, feeling myself weaken all over again. He's too hot for his own good and he knows it.
"But it feels so good!" He starts to laugh before sighing, "I want you to replace all of my blood with your cum.."
I lean back from the mattress and I drag his lower lip down with my fingers to open his mouth before spitting into it, to which he drinks it all happily, "You're a cum brained slut, you know that?"
"I know I am.."
Fuck.
He groans and lifts his chin all the way back, his mouth hanging open in lust as I go faster now, "I want you to cum in me so much this weekend that I won't be able to see straight anymore.."
Jesus Christ.
The bed is groaning under the weight of my humping, but I don't care. It's very early in the morning, and people out there are probably trying to sleep, but we don't care. When I'm with Soujiro, I know what my job is; keeping him as happy and as satisfied as I possibly can. I have to protect him. I have to keep him safe. I have to help him realize that he has every right to live his life in a way that makes him feel good, instead of feeling ashamed of himself. It's a tough job. Somebody has to do it, and it's something most guys our age wouldn't ever want to do.
But.. I love him. So, it kind of goes without saying.
Plus.. I think it's good to let loose like this. We have a lot to face today. Starting with his phone. We haven't checked since we woke up this morning, and I know it'll be full of messages waiting for us. Especially from his father. He probably is back home and wondering where the fuck his son went. I wonder how the help are holding up over there. That Mrs Oguni especially.. I think I feel sorry for her the most out of all of them. It's clear that she cares for Soujiro immensely. She's the one woman in Soujiro's life that he can trust with his entire life. She is probably wondering if he is okay right now.
She has nothing to worry about, though. Not while I'm here with him.
Soujiro dips his chin downwards again to look straight into my eyes as I'm fucking him senseless, and I've finally reached that level of insanity because he's starting to look dazed and confused. The squelching sounds in our nether regions sounds is intense and his face is starting to take on a rosier hue, eyes glassy with high emotions. His breathing is so high I can barely hear it anymore, but it doesn't matter. In the next several seconds of seeing him so rapturous and intoxicated like this, I cum yet again in his hole.
God fucking dammit. That was so hot..
I finally collapse onto him, my head resting on his chest as I'm heaving like crazy. He's also trying to catch his breath, and we both stay like that for the next several long moments, just enjoying the idleness of the early morning atmosphere.
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We hit the showers and brush our teeth to start the day. After getting dressed, I stand close by as Soujiro finally retrieves his smartphone from the charger. From the look on his face, I know what it is to be true; his dad called him. Multiple times. Soujiro looks at me with worry and shows me the screen to show that he's been texting and calling non-stop since an hour ago when we were having sex. Over twenty missed calls. Ten text messages. At least a few video chat requests. That man is going crazy.
"I'm surprised he's never added a tracking device to your phone," I finally say, shaking my head, "Or added you to his 'find my phone' thing. That's how people can track each other's locations."
Soujiro sighs, "Yeah. He's good in business, but a little out of touch with technology."
"Which is a good thing," I smirk, "Means us youngsters can keep dodging him."
"Kenshin," He looks at me with an humorless expression, "This isn't the time to be funny."
"You're right, I'm sorry."
I watch him as he looks through all the chat and call logs on his phone, his brows furrowed together in frustration. Poor Soujiro. This is what he has to deal with every single day. Even before he and I met, his father must've always been the controlling type. I do have to wonder if this is how Soujiro learned to be controlling with other people as well, though. It sounds bad, and I don't mean it in a mean way, but Soujiro knew how to push my buttons to get what he want out of me all those months ago. It was how he got the sex he desired from me, and how he got me to shut up about our secrets in the first place.
Too bad I'm too much of an annoying truth seeker to play his games for too long.
"Hey," I lift up my phone towards him and turn on my camera, "You should call him back."
"What?" He blinks at me warily, "Shouldn't we be.. I mean, shouldn't I be the one to try and avoid him for now?"
"Yeah, but," I smile at him encouragingly, "This is it. This is your chance to tell him off. You owe yourself this."
He grunts, looking down at the floor agonizingly, "I.. I don't know. I don't know if I'm ready."
"Yes you are ready," I take a few steps closer towards him with my camera, "And I'm right here. You're not doing this all by yourself. You have me in your corner. We're too far away from him right now for him to do anything to you right this second. You've got the intel to use against him. We have more on the way from Aoshi and Shakku. You've got this!"
He looks so unsure at first, but then he looks down at his phone again, and has himself a moment of clarity. He looks back up at me with more determination now, and nods, "Alright. Are you ready to record me?"
If I had blinked at that moment, I would have lost that one second of fear and pain in his eyes when he asks me that. I realize now, that he still hates cameras. I know that it can point to something incredibly heartbreaking once I finally realize as to why that is. But right now.. right now, all that matters is that we use the camera on my phone to record this conversation.
If only to leverage this against his father with yet another piece of evidence that he is an absolute piece of shit.. it's worth those moments of being uncomfortable for Soujiro, having this camera shoved in his face.
We're ready.
I press the red recording button on my screen and give him the thumbs up. He goes on to call his father and makes sure to press the speaker button on so that we can both hear. The first few rings already has us on the edge of our seats and, away from my own camera of course, I hold onto Soujiro's free hand as an added support. He has his eyes squarely on his phone screen in anticipation while I look at him through my own screen, waiting.
Finally, the asshole picks up, and the first thing we hear is him growling, "Where are you?!"
I grip my phone and Soujiro's hand as he tenses up from that, as if to silently tell him that I'm still right here with him.
Soujiro gulps and says, "Father, I.. I'm somewhere else."
"Do you know what time it is?" His voice is still dripping with aggression, which succeeded in making Soujiro visibly weaken in fear, and his father's voice rises up a few decibels louder, "Answer me!"
Soujiro flinches, but I keep my grip on his hand tight. At that, he answers through gritted teeth, "I don't care what time it is, Father. I am not coming home."
There he is. I smile, already proud of him. Keep going!
"You will come straight home this instant! Or else!"
"Or else.. what?" Soujiro's eyes frown deeper at that, "You're going to do something to me? Choke me again?"
Thank God I got this on camera!
His father growls on the other line, "I'll do to you something worse if you don't get your ass home this instant!"
Soujiro is now the one growling and finally gripes aggressively, "You won't be able to touch me if you know what I have on you!"
Silence.
"What.. do you mean by that, Soujiro?" He is still acting threatening, but there is now a subtle hint of hesitation to his tone now.
"Are you home from work, Father? Was there a security breach at the company?"
"Yes, there's been a breach, and you being gone is making all of this worse!"
"And did you ever stopped to think why that happened? The security breaching, I mean.."
"I.. What?"
"Father," Soujiro stands up straighter now, his voice now more confident than before, "I am leaving you. I'm leaving The Seta Enterprise. It's over."
"What.. what are you.. what are you talking about, you fucking deviant?!"
"I have sent people to breach your company. I've gotten information from your personal laptop from our house. I was able to download and copy all the files there. I know what you're hiding in there. You even still have that video of me and Okita Souji. Do you watch that video or are you selling it to other people, you absolute piece of shit?"
His father sounds all choked up now and unable to make any coherent sentences for the next few moments, before he bellows out, "As if you would really be that simple minded to out the both of us like this! You will go down for your own criminal activities too, you homosexual cretin!"
"What crimes? Tell me what crimes have I've committed?" Soujiro is yelling now and I still make sure I keep my grasp on his hand tight. He needs me.
"You sleeping with other boys will make you the laughing stock of this country, for one thing! You also participated in.. I can't even say it in this phone call, Soujiro. COME HOME THIS INSTANT!"
"No, Father. Tell me what I've done. I need to hear you say it."
"I can't. You know I can't. It would ruin you."
Soujiro wobbles slightly and I rush over to him to grab his waist with my free hand, and he looks at me with a pale complexion. I mouth the words: "I'm right here."
He trembles slightly and painstakingly looks back at his phone screen, mumbling, "I want to know what my crime is, Father, since you are so insistent on calling me that."
"You are a disgusting sexual predator towards other boys."
That did it. Soujiro's face finally and quickly fades to a reddish hue.
"Other boys MY AGE!" Soujiro finally screams, "I know there are children involved with us, but I would NEVER hurt a child willingly like that!"
My stomach is twisting and turning. I don't know what's happening, but I know I'm closer to the ugliest truth I will ever come face to face with. I am finally about to meet the darkest secret of the Seta family, and it's now all on tape.
".. Soujiro," His father sounds genuinely hurt now, "Please. Please don't do this. Come home. We can talk about this face to face. Not now. Not like this."
"I NEED TO HEAR YOU SAY IT!"
Silence.
"Soujiro, I.. I can't do this."
"Then.. Heed me this," Soujiro seethes from where he stands, "You will not touch me, or any of my friends. You will not drag me out of that school that I am going to right now. You will stay away from me and everyone I know and love. You will not take me back home no matter who you send after me. You will not call me or text me or do anything to try to get me to talk to you, because I don't want to talk to you anymore. You better not even think about cancelling any of my debit or credit cards, either! If you don't do as I say, Father.. I will ruin the Enterprise as quick as you can blink!"
There is silence now. Even my hands are shaking. I've never seen Soujiro so brave like this. I know this must be so hard to do, after a lifetime of trying to vie for the love and the attention of a parent that clearly doesn't love you. Somewhere deep inside of him, he probably thinks that he can still have a life that could be comfortable, in exchange for his own silence.
But he won't. He can't.
Not anymore.
"You will regret this someday." His father finally mutters and then he hangs up.
"Soujiro!" I grab him in time before he stumbles over, and we both sit down on the bed behind us, "Are you alright?"
He shakes his head, his face still pale in shock. I look at my phone and hit the red button again to stop recording, "I've at least got that much."
"Kenshin.." His voice is trembling, "I.. I feel like.. I know what he was trying to say before.."
I gape at him for a few passing moments, my stomach now quivering in nervousness, ".. What.. do you mean by that?"
Soujiro gulps, and shuts his eyes. Silence. His hand on my hand tightens and he finally whispers, "I've had.. a video.. of myself, with someone else before. He was a full grown man, and I was very little at the time. I don't know his name. I don't even remember his face.. I just remember.. cameras.."
"Soujiro," I couldn't help myself but embrace him tightly now, "It's alright. It's not your fault. You're a victim. We're going to help you. I promise."
"Kenshin.." He starts crying, embracing me back tighter.
I finally found the truth about the Seta family. It's clear that Soujiro is not the only child involved in their business of lies and misery. I don't know if that video of Soujiro and that man has ever been released somehow, or have been sold, or just kept in some disgusting pervert's house for all these years now. But at least Soujiro finally confessed to such an ugly side to his family, as well as himself.
Right now, all I can do.. is just be here with him.
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"Soujiro.. I still love you. Please remember that."
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Soujiro and I have decided to go out after that for breakfast. We found a small, cozy restaurant not too far from where we are staying. We try not to get too much attention of ourselves, and we did that by acting like two casual friends who are looking for food to eat. We even dressed quite plainly so as to not become recognized by other people. I placed all of my hair under a beanie hat to hide my otherwise infamous red mane. Soujiro opted to wear a baseball hat to cover his eyes. We have to stay alert of anybody who might fancy themselves a snapshot of our faces if we can help it.
Sanosuke texted me in between that dramatic unfolding between Soujiro and his father (and us holding onto each other), that one of Shishio's rape victims would be more than happy to talk to us tonight after dinner. I had to thank him for at least letting me borrow his truck for the weekend. We agreed to it, since we have our own laptops with us and can conduct a video chat. It will prove beneficial to Soujiro's mental health to see that he is not alone in his own traumas, and that there are other victims out there who are willing to share their own stories. What happened to Soujiro was evil and not at all consensual; but perhaps, even now, he doesn't believe that he is a victim in a traditional sense. Deep down, he probably thinks that he welcomed that type of sickness in his life, and probably made him the way he is right now.
But I know that's not true.
"So what you're saying is that.. I only like other boys because that's just in my nature.." Soujiro sighs, after our coffees have been served to us by our waitress and we are left alone.
I nod, "Yeah. It's not like rape can change what someone likes in other people. That's not how it works."
Soujiro peers into his coffee cup deeply, lost in thought. I let him have this space of silence, looking down at my own coffee. He mumbles at long last, eyes appearing desolate, "I wanted so much to find an explanation as to why I am the way I am."
"It's simple. You were born that way." I smile at him sadly as he looks back up into my eyes.
He blinks softly, and then scoffs quietly to himself.
"Kenshin. I don't know how I can thank you for all you've done."
"Just stay with me. Forever. That's all you can do."
"You don't even have to ask me to do that. I will always be with you."
We ate our meal and went back out. I asked Soujiro what he would like to do, now that it's Saturday. He replies that he's so happy that we can even have this type of conversation again. We used to spend so many previous Saturdays before together, without any fear of his father walking in on us. Now it's different. Now that man knows what Soujiro is capable of. Now he knows that Soujiro is going to live happily and openly as a gay guy instead of playing pretend. I looked through my phone for ideas and decided on something.
A planetarium.
I brought our tickets and walk into a huge establishment, and the first room we venture into contains all the information about our galaxies. There were these fake planets hanging on the ceiling, and description glass boxes that reads about what they are and where they are. Again, we knew better than to behave like lovers in public. We don't hold hands, and we don't linger near each other for too long. We don't gaze into each other's eyes, and we made sure to stand at least two to three feet apart. We kept our hats on, and we kept our hands inside our pockets instead of touching one another.
Such is the life of being in the closet.
We stop in front of our home planet. Planet Earth. We look up and see the fake planet glowing beautifully in this dark room. As people walk around to also check it out, I secretly steal a glance to Soujiro. He is looking up at this planet, the bluish-green glow now making his eyes more turquoise than their usual electric blue. I want more than anything to kiss him right there, right now. But I instead gulp and form fists inside my pockets, opting to just look down at the floor beneath me. Soujiro then catches sight of a sign somewhere that we can sit inside a room and be able to look at the Milky Way from above us, and asks if we can go.
I agreed to it, of course.
We walk through a long hallway with other people. All around us, are these giant screens that seemed endless, and showing us all these stars, moons, and planets. It honestly looks awesome. I look up ahead and see the back of Soujiro's head, and again, wish I can stop him so that I can kiss him underneath these stars. But once more, I hold myself back. Who knows who is having their phones out and taking pictures or videos right this second. We don't want to end up on some gossip site or on social media. We have a role to play right now.
We are just friends.
Friends who are absolutely, irreconcilably, passionately in love with each other.
We sit inside a new room. The seats are positioned in that it starts to form a circular shape all around the room. Soujiro and I sat next to each other, of course, and soon other people, couples, and children joined us on our other sides. There is a soundtrack of some sort that sounds like ambience, and we sit tight for the show to begin. People are chatting lightly with one another, giggling or sharing some news about each other's lives. Soujiro and I opted to stay quiet, meanwhile. We don't dare even move a single muscle as we wait. We do watch the screens above us showing us random skylines, such as those that appears during certain time of the day or night, and contended ourselves to just that.
Suddenly, the room fades to pitch black, and the chattering of the crowd ceases. I make my move in reaching over and holding Soujiro's hand in mine. I couldn't help it. I just wanted to touch him again.
Thankfully, he squeezes my hand back lovingly. The darkness hides my secret smile at that.
The room starts to glow a very dark, navy tone and the intercom booms all around us, where we can hear the soft ambience again along with a female voice speaking confidently over us all: "Welcome to our Virtual Journey into The Universe. At our present moment, we will be shifting into a glorious adventure, where will take you into all of the various galaxies out there in outer space, including the one we call our home: The Milky Way. Please, turn off all cellphones, keep your hands and feet inside your seats at all time, do not smoke, eat or drink during our presentation. And do be sure to keep quiet, as your next door neighbor would rather enjoy hearing the sound of my voice instead of yours."
The crowd chuckles at that last joke, and I had to smirk a little. The room fades to black again, and the screen above shows us a really cool depiction of a galaxy, a soft yellow light in the midst of a more bluish spiral.
"First, let's begin with our home: The Milky Way. Did you know that it is actually warped? The Milky Way is like a CD disk, but on opposite ends, it can be pulled in a game of tug-of-war between other galaxies. Let's just say we are quite the popular bunch. The Milky Way is home to over two to even three hundred billion stars; the sun, that we see every morning, is just one of so many."
Every small facts she would tell us, the screen would change, causing us all to stare at it in wonder. I had to really fight with myself to not keep glancing over to Soujiro, because he looks so adorable with how amused he is with this show. He's like a little kid, once you catch him off guard. He tries so hard a lot of the times to be a serious person, but I know him. He's a real sweetheart and very young at heart. I hope he never changes no matter how old we get.
"Planet Earth is one of the common known planets in our solar system next to our neighboring counterparts, such as Jupiter, Saturn, and Neptune. As we zoom out of this planet as far as we can go, you can see just how tiny we really are in the grand scheme of things. Our world, our solar system, our galaxy, all that we are a part of, are so much larger than you can ever realize. It would take us millions of years to reach other stars and planets, and it would silly to realize that our personal problems here on Earth could ever stay the same forever. Time is an illusion; space could be said the same."
I look over to my side secretly just in time to see Soujiro gazing up above him and his face opening up to one of subtle realization.
"Our problems, no matter how small or large they may seem to you, is just a speck in an otherwise humongous universe. When so much is out there that are yet to be discovered, life can also reflect this same reality. You have not yet exhausted all of your solutions to your problems. There is much to be discovered within yourself, and to those around you in life and in this world. Aren't you glad to be a part of something so significant and expansive?"
Even I grunt at that. It's a lot to think about, to be honest.
She goes on about some other small facts about the other planets, and we are blessed with visual imagery from all around us. Soujiro continues to chuckle softly to himself, and I keep tightening my hold over his hand each time. I think he appreciates that so much with the way his thumb keeps rubbing over mines lovingly. The voice intercom finally concludes the show: "Thank you for being a part of this presentation! Please make your exit to your right side one by one, and remember.. You are a miracle. You are alive because you are a one chance out billions to be here, right now. You are needed in this timeline for a reason. Never forget that."
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"That was amazing." Soujiro sighs dreamily as we walk side by side and coming out of the planetarium now.
"It was." I nod my head, watching as other people walk past us in a hurry to get wherever they need to go.
"Where to next?" Soujiro beams, "We got about an hour to kill before lunch time."
"Soujiro," I blink at him now, "You're in a good mood."
"Oh? Is it that obvious?" He giggles cheerfully, now the both of us walking on the sidewalks next to a busy traffic, "I really liked that show a lot and it really made me think about a lot of things."
"Oh yeah?" I cock my eyebrow up with a smirk.
He smiles sheepishly, "Yeah. I guess.. maybe my problems aren't as big as I thought."
"Really puts shit into perspective, that's for sure." I sigh, digging my hands back into my jacket pockets now.
"How about we take a walk through a park somewhere? Or maybe an arcade? Ooh, we can try a shopping mall!"
"You richy rich shits are always going on about so much!" I groan playfully.
"What? I still have money. I already told that old man he's gonna regret it if he cancels anything, right?"
"I know, but.. that's going to give our location away." I deflate slightly with a sigh.
"Oh. Yeah. You're right." He looks down at his own chest forlornly.
Poor Soujiro.
"Hey, come on, we can still have fun. We don't have to do anything fancy," I elbow his rib lightly, "We just have to be mindful of my budget. I ain't Warren Buffet."
"He's so not my type, so I'm glad you're not him." He giggles.
I only smile at him good naturedly and we continue to walk on in silence afterward. We walked until we found a huge park of sorts, and we decide to venture through. Forests abound nearby and we come across a sign that it is safe to walk into it, so long as we follow the arrow signs that are posted onto trees and such. And we can do this all for free. Perfect. Though it's quite cold today, at least it's fine to walk leisurely outside so long as we keep our jackets and hats on.
It was an interesting walk. We don't really say much as we look up and around at all that nature can provide for us. That's one thing I really love about us: We don't have to always talk if we don't have to. Soujiro can really talk an ear off of anyone who's willing to listen. But he knows me. He knows that I'm not always up for chattering about stuff I don't really care about. He gives me that kind of space and distance to be my usual introverted self.
I can see ourselves settling down in some house near a forest like this in the future, to be honest.
One day at a time, I guess.
"That sex we had at that forest near our high school," Soujiro sits on top of a large rock near a tree once we've traveled quite deep into the forest, "I can't get it out of my head. It was so good."
I smirk, "Yeah."
He looks up and around us with a self assured smile and sighs contently, "Mother Nature sure has a lot of beauty of her own. It sometimes reminds me of my mother."
I am quiet, observing him.
He closes his eyes, as if remembering her now, "I have her photo in one of my bags when we get back into the room. I owe you that much for all you've done for me, Kenshin. When you do see her.. It's like you've known her for all of your life. My mother has that effect on people. I think I have her allure or something, because I was never without anybody, even if the relation felt very shallow in hindsight. She was so beautiful and so talented at making people feel at home with her. She was really something."
I don't say anything, still staring at him.
He continues wistfully: "I really do miss her. She never should have died. I should have still had a mother to look after me. It's not fair."
I am still silent, though I slowly walk around him and sit down next to this large rock that he's sitting on, looking up at him. The sunlight's beams are reaching out towards him like long white fingers, which reminds me of that time when he first propositioned me for a sexual relationship inside that gymnasium shed at our school. I bite the inside of my chin at that memory. Look how far we've come since that fateful day.
I said yes to him that day, and it changed my life forever.
All of our lives forever, actually.
Soujiro opens his eyes and looks down at me, his smile now more muted in it's usual intensity, "What was your mom like, Kenshin?"
I can feel my eyes wavering as I gaze at him, still so enraptured by his beauty. I still manage to find it in my voice to answer him: "She was.. moody. A lot like me, actually. But she was really good at school, or so my dad Hiko said. So, quite a lot like you, as well. She wanted me to be happy, but didn't know how to be the mom she could have been, if she had never met my real father.."
His smile has faded away when I spoke out that last sentence to him, but he doesn't say anything, prompting me to continue.
"I guess.. She was just so angry at the world. Angry at her lot in life. Angry for me, and angry for the both of us. I still don't know how she died, honestly. Maybe it's better I don't know."
He watches me, still quiet for a few moments. A wind gently brushes by and caresses our faces. He reaches over his hand to place it on my shoulder before mumbling, "Shinta. That was the name she gave you, wasn't it?"
I nod.
"I love that name. Shinta. Why did you changed it?"
"Because.. it's in the past. And I don't want to be reminded of it anymore."
Silence.
"Then.. Can you do me a favor?"
I look at him expectantly, waiting.
He smiles, "Call me by your name."
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"I don't understand."
He gets up from the rock and crouches down next to me, his face mere inches away from my face. I can feel the warm breath hitting near my lips from his, and the smell of his wonderful cologne. The heat of his face, all against the coolness of the blues in his eyes. I stood still, my heart racing at all of this.
"Call me by your name."
He inches very, very slowly into my face, his eyelids lowering. I can feel mines lowering too, and our lips barely start to touch until I finally breathe out what I am meant to say.
"Shinta." I whisper right at that last second before our lips finally meet each other, and we stay like that. Another gentle wind blows by us, tickling our skin in its icy nippiness. There are no other people around us in this forest, thankfully, but it would be wise to still stay low. I lean back to break away from the kiss, the one thing that keeps me warm in this inclement, and I gaze deep into those eyes now.
"Soujiro.." He whispers before leaning back in to kiss me under my eye fondly.
"Hmm," I close my eyes, enjoying this, but I still feel the need to ask, "I still don't get it. Why?"
He giggles, the hot air so pleasant against my face.
"It's a way for me to tell you that we are one of the same. I am you, and you are me. We are the same.." He kisses me under my other eye, "The same person. The same soul. Same DNA.. You. Me. We."
I take in a breath, my heart weakening, ".. That's so weird."
What I meant to say was, how much that means to me to hear it from him.
He giggles quietly, "I guess so. I'm sorry. I am just that in love with you."
I smile at him warmly now, tilting my forehead so that it meets his, "Me too."
Soujiro..
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I will always be happy that I've met you.
(To be continued)