Chapter 2- Fallout
the next day- 7:03am EST
The morning sun filtered in through the blinds, casting horizontal shadows across his room.
He hadn't slept.
He couldn't.
There was no other word to describe how he felt aside from cold. He hadn't slept alone in over a year.
Tossing and turning for hours was starting to get old, and now that the sun was up, the chances of him catching any Z's grew slimmer. Still no word from Kie, his anxiety was beginning to get the best of him.
However, the book he'd been secretly reading had told him that the best approach to these things was to do two things.
The first was to stop and think before acting. And, at the moment he was fairly proud of his ability to do that. The JJ of eighteen months ago would have lost his shit. Gone on a bender. Gone to find her. The JJ of now was fighting himself tooth and nail to not act on impulse.
The second was while you think, do it logically and rationally, and a whole bunch of other textbook bullshit. Blah blah. But he was listening to this godforesaken book because he needed to be a better guy for Kie. Now more than ever.
Or so he thought that was the most logical reason for change. In his comprehension, there was no other obvious answer. He couldn't have wanted to do anything for himself at the time.
He sighed, but never took it upon himself to get out of bed, until he heard a knock at the door.
He didn't move, other than to eye the clock. It had been an hour of silenly crying, and ungodly rumination, an hour of overthinking what he could have done different. Chased her, maybe? Talked before he got the flowers?
Gone with her, though? Those boundaries had to be firm. He couldn't handle uprooting himself again to go be somewhere he didn't want at the moment. And, maybe he sounded washed up, but he didn't quite give a shit. This was his home and he loved it, despite it's glaring red issues splayed ahead. He wanted change. He so desperately wanted change.
But he'd lost Kie.
Fuck, he'd lost his Kiara. His heart and soul, a person he'd loved since he was a kid, finally got sick of him. His period of change had been too late.
Another knock pulled him from his musings.
"Hey, J. Why don't you come out with me on the HMS and let's get some fresh air? It's a beautiful morning." John B called.
There was nothing beautiful about this morning, no matter how fantastic the weather was. Fuck that, let him sit in it, for heaven's sake.
JJ didn't move. The door opened. John B entered, and crawled in bed with him. They sat in silence for a while, only making eye contact for a few seconds initially. John B obviously noticed his friends swollen face.
"Do you remember when we used to do this as kids? We used to lay like this in my twin bed when you'd sneak in my window." John B spoke softly. He'd left out after Luke beat the shit out of you. There was no reason to make JJ feel worse, although they mutually had the understanding.
"Yeah." He nodded. "All the time. Eventually, Big John knew and left a spare key out for me."
John B looked over at his friend. "Kie's gonna come around. But you and me are for life, J, please don't slip back into your habit."
JJ didn't answer, instead he turned to his nightstand, and pulled a book out of the drawer.
"How To Grow Through What You Go Through?" John B read the hardcover when JJ put it in his hands.
"It's a self-help book." He explained. "I've been trying to be better lately, it just takes me a long time to read, so I'm still going. Guess I wasn't going fast enough."
"Kiara's been through some shit recently too, J. She'll come around." John B sighed. JJ nodded, but he felt it wasn't gonna happen. Things fall out of sync sometimes, and Kiara was stubborn.
"Who'd have thought you'd be reading a self-help book?" Sarah's voice floated through the room. She leaned against the door, arms folded, and had a teasing smile on her face.
"Ha ha, so funny." JJ grumbled.
"I think it's sweet, Jayj, really. You're hitting your arc."
"My arc?" He questioned, lifting his head to look at her.
"Yeah, a redemption arc." She continued, not elaborating.
"She's been working on story plotlines in her Creative Writing class." John B explained, when his girlfriend didn't. "You're growing, as your book says."
Sarah had opted for online schooling, after careful consideration and wanting to take things easy for a while. Her and John B were gearing to go on the road, travel the states for a little without the threat of other crazy treasure hunters trying to kill them. He was happy for his friends.
But this was a big house, and just him and Cleo would be unsettling.
"Ah. Yeah, I'm doing my best, Princess." He laughed lightly, sitting up. "I gotta pee."
John B pursed his lips at his girlfriend, who was now sitting on JJ's side of the bed. "He's fucking devastated." He told her, voice barely a whisper.
Sarah shook her head. "I can't believe she just took off like that. Super impulsive, God love her, even for her."
JJ stepped back into the room, this time dressed to go. "You said somethin' about a boat ride?"
"Yeah?" John B perked.
"Princess too, and Cleo. And we're taking my boat. Get the fuck out of this house." He told them. "Kie dipped, and maybe some fishing will help me keep myself rational."
John B curled a brow, but he shook his head. "Yeah, fuck it. Let's do it. Charachter Arc Ahoy!"
They'd loaded up relatively quick, and were on the boat by nine, driving pretty quick to the Chateau. Or the new and improved bones of what is-to-be the Chateau. It was a remake of the house, but there was yet to be any work done on it. There was a shed, however, and that was where they'd left their fishing equipment.
Barracuda Mike was spotted talking to a small puppy. He was yelling at it while it cowered in fear.
Surprising.
The air had a chill to it that morning.
"I have been here a few years now. I don't care what anyone says, I have not gotten used to the cold." Cleo spoke, her teeth chattering. "It hurts."
"It's only sixty degrees out." JJ told her, grinning. "It can get colder."
She only glared at him, sticking her tongue out, making Sarah laugh.
"When we get back, JJ's gonna have this place looking good as new, with a JB-esque twist to it." John B made his presence known, carrying the fishing equipment, and stepping onto the boat.
"Yep, Bree! It's gonna be a vision of yours truly." He told his friend, grinning.
Sarah grimaced. "Should I be concerned?"
John B crinkled his nose. "JJ is the only one who watches HGTV with you. And, he grew up in poverty."
"Your point?" She asked.
"I watched a million house flipping shows with you, and I know how to do shit because I was poor." He clarified for his best friend. "I got this, Princess."
The friends got out on the water, when they got an incoming facetime from Pope, who looked rather stoic, but smiled when he saw Cleo's happy face.
"Hey, C."
"Pope, my Lova, man I miss you." She told him, before flashing the camera to her remaining three Pogues.
"Pope! We miss you!" Was chorused from the deck, smoke rising from their boat.
"Pope! Doctor Pope! Save me, I'm dying!" JJ practically moaned, before dramatically flopping over onto John B, hands dramatically grasping his throat.
"JJ, I'm going to school to be a Medical Examiner." He laughed. "I would be gearing up to tell everyone how you died."
JJ sat up glaring, before sobbing. "Someone killed my father on the Yucatan, Doctor of the Dead, Pope Heyward, please please tell me how he died!" He wailed dramatically, Sarah and Cleo giggling. John B watched with a smile, as JJ clutched onto his shirt dramatically. "Bree. Hold me, Bree."
"You're horrible." Pope said, fighting off laughter.
"I'm doing my best." JJ affirmed, grinning, and taking the blunt out of Sarah's hands. "I miss Kie."
"About that. That's actually why I was calling." Pope sighed. "She was in my dorm room this morning."
"Pope, I talked to you this morning." JJ said. "And you didn't tell me she was there?"
"J, she begged me not to tell you. She even heard you talking on the phone. She still made me take her to the airport. And, she was crying." Pope told him, voice even and soft. "I don't know what's gotten into her."
"So you put my crying, irrational girlfriend on an airplane by herself." JJ grumbled. "Smooth move, Pope."
"JJ, I wasn't gonna kidnap her. And, I made sure she had a plan when she got there." He assured.
"And where exactly is there?" He asked.
"The University she's going to." Pope told him. "She's staying at the hotel at LAX until tomorrow."
"Do you think I'm wrong, Pope?" JJ asked, fiddling with his hands. "I mean, I think I handled that pretty well."
"In regards to which part?" He asked his friend.
"The whole all of it? I don't know, Pope, I can't mentally handle having to leave my home again. I know you guys aren't all gonna be here all the time, but I need to stay. Cleo needs someone to use for her work papers in terms of her boss. The Chateau is my off-season project, I'm trying to make people see that I'm not Luke Maybank part two. I'm trying to do better Pope, for you guys, but I need better too."
"I think you effectively set your boundaries and Kiara is throwing a tantrum, JJ." Pope told them. "This isn't the first time she's pulled this. Remember her Kook year?"
"Yeah, but that was a little different, she was in a different school and was under peer pressure and shit. This holds weight to it considering everyone is a consenting adult."
"Okay. We're not shitting on Kie. I'll give her a few days." He put his hands up in defense. "And then I'll call."
"See, maybe that's the issue. Or, her issue." Sarah passed him the blunt again.
"How do you mean?"
"Usually you're impulsive, and go go go don't think. So she's used to you making decisions on impulse. So when you didn't immediately agree she short circuited and pulled a JJ, and hightailed it outta here." The blonde laughed. "Damn."
"Maybe it's the Cripple, but this gyal is makin' some sense." Cleo coughed. "You've been behaving, it's throwing off the universe!"
"Yeah, that was what I was gonna say, but I'm not really good at that stuff so I stayed out of it." Pope smiled.
"You should go to LA." Sarah told him, grinning.
"I think that whether JJ goes to LA or not it's a bad idea." John B threw in.
"And what does that mean?" Sarah guffawed.
"Because Kie doesn't ever just run off. She's loyal to a fault. So if JJ doesn't go, that means he didn't try. But at the same time, something is telling me he shouldn't go." He explained himself. "I mean, she just takes off into the night without so much as a call? And just dumps her car with Pope to take care of it and begs him not to tell us where she's going?"
"Yeah. It's sus." JJ shook his head. "I can't gauge her right now."
"I don't think we should be sending sad JJ on a plane by himself." John B added.
"Ditto." Pope threw in on the phone.
"I have faith in our Rude Boy I say let him do as he wants." Cleo nodded.
"I'll go with you." Sarah told him. "Quick little trip of love, and I'll be there to supervise."
"I don't need a babysitter." He snapped, but shook his head. "But yeah, some company would be nice."
Sarah grinned, clapping. "We can go this weekend."
"Oh boy." John B said, pursing his lips. "Pope, I don't gotta good feeling about this."
"They're two consenting adults spying on another unknowing adult."
"I'm not going to spy on anyone. I'm going to tell her I love her, and I'm gonna tell her I'm sorry I can't come with her. But if she's game to work it out with the distance, that's good." JJ clarified.
"And if she's not cool with it?" John B asked.
"Then I've had my catalyst event." He shrugged. "Kie and I weren't meant to be."
"Catalyst event?" Sarah asked. "Nice work, Jayj!"
"I listen when you talk, Princess." He told her. "I'm smarter than I look!"
John B held up the blunt. "To some peace for the weekend, BigC."
"Fuckin' right, Funny Man!" She laughed. "Cheers!"
They all laughed together, watching as the sun went down, over the horizon. Although the hole without Kie didn't go unnoticed by anyone, the moment would be a core memory.
same time, LAX Hilton Suites
The first thing she noticed upon getting to her hotel room was that she did not enjoy the sound of airplanes flying over her head at any time of the day. And later found she hated it even more at night when she was trying to sleep.
She'd saved a lot of face to her friends, and was hyperaware of how erratic her behavior was but simply could not bring herself to stop.
But she had to do this. And there was a solid possibility that she'd have to do it without JJ.
Long distance relationships don't work. How could they ever? She'd be thousands of miles away and while they could visit whenever they pleased, it simply wasn't the same.
And perhaps she'd been working through some of her own issues. Being kidnapped twice, once a doing of her own parents. Being away from home and constantly on the road, running for her life had made her bored when she'd been home. She was itching for something new.
She noticed she didn't like sleeping alone anymore either. But she'd have to live with that if JJ didn't want her anymore.
Pope had probably told them by now, considering Sarah sent her a text message.
Seriously Kie?! Call me ASAP!
I'm worried about you :(
Kie swallowed thickly. She felt bad not responding to her friend, but she was so upset about what had transpired, she simply didn't know what to say.
Radio silence from the other Pogues was confusing her. They either didn't know, and Pope had only told Sarah. Or, the dreaded second option, they all know and took JJ's side, because she was so obviously not in the right, here. She knew she was wrong, but what could she do? She'd already taken the leap, so now she needs to follow through.
She was set to move into the condo she'd purchased tomorrow. She'd planned in decorating her apartment with second-hand finds. She was very excited for her new journey.
However, the gaping hole of missing her friends and her JJ sat like a rock in her stomach. She was far from home. The farthest she'd ever been alone without her friends in close proximity in some regards.
She was totally alone!
Gag. She turned to the bucket beside the desk and hurled, suddenly getting dizzy. This was anxiety provoking.
As she lay her head on her pillow, she couldn't help the fluttering feeling in her stomach. Something about this felt wrong, but as life would have it, she brushed it off as anxiety.