Disclaimer: I don't own the Warrior Cats series!

Title: Red Pearls

Summary: Brightfur just wanted to be a medicine cat. Her mentor, Ravenwind, has very different ideas on what that means- for her and for ShadowClan. With Ravenwind controlling her every move and more than willing to kill to keep it that way, Brightfur will need more than just luck to live to tell the tale.

Chapter Title: A Sick Mercy

...

Maplenose was favoring a leg as she padded into camp, something Brightfur noticed from the safety of the medicine den. Safety, of course, was a relative term; in Leaf-bare very little was safe, from the fresh-kill to the weather. ShadowClan had been given a recent reminder of that in the face of Mossyear's death. The rest of the patrol had favored little better; Grayfeather's ear was torn, Addershine's side held deep tooth marks, and Brackenclaw had been slashed across the muzzle.

Slatestep was waiting for them by the edge of the Clanrock. Brightfur didn't think the molly could be much skinnier and still be able to stand and pad over to them. "RiverClan?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'am." Addershine flopped into the snowbank to clean his wound. "Briarspots went back around to see if any of the game survived."

"You'd think they'd have better things to do," Brackenclaw said. "Coming all the way into our territory just to taunt us? Seems pretty childish to me."

"It's a show of force," the deputy corrected. "Let's just hope Burnstar gets that flea out of his ear soon. We're too weak for a fight."

Maplenose dropped the rabbit from her jaws. The fresh-kill was in tatters, having lost most of its fur and a couple of limbs in the scuffle. "Ma'am, if it's alright, I'd like to take this to Badgerthroat and my sisters."

Slatestep's eyes softened, no doubt remembering the vigil only a few days prior. It hadn't been sickness or battle that had taken Mossyear from them- it had been starvation, the warrior desperate to keep her recently-kitted mate and little ones alive over taking care of herself. "Of course."

Brightfur's eyes trailed after Maplenose as she shuffled off to the nursery with her meal. The tortoiseshell still towered over everyone else, but grief made her seem smaller and more secluded. She yearned to join her, but refrained, partially to give her space and partially out of her own guilt.

"I hate you," she said aloud for the first time, having felt it for much longer.

Ravenwind was at the herbs, scooping out the old and shriveled. Brightfur noticed she had a special leaf bundle ready for the deathberries. "You wouldn't be the first," she replied. "You're not still mad about Mossyear, are you? You know as well as I do that she was half dead by the time she came to us."

"The foxglove didn't exactly help."

"As medicine cats, our duty is to make sure our Clanmates don't suffer. If this is really the twig that broke the branch, than I question your sense of morals." Ravenwind paused. "You've gotten so big, you could probably overpower me. But you still sit by and let me do as I please."

Brightfur thought of her sharp claws and sharper words and shuddered. Her every attempt to stop her had failed. She tried to argue, and she was almost drowned. She tried to tell someone, and now her sister was under the same threatening shadow as her. What else was left? "What other choice do I have?"

The older medicine cat looked at her over her shoulder, ears pinned slightly back thoughtfully. "I think I went about this all wrong."

"Killing cats?"

"No, training you. I wanted you to grow into your role of your own volition. I gave you plenty of space and minimal duties, hoping you'd find your niche with time. But all I've done is drive you away from destiny." Ravenwind waved her paw at her. "Come over here. I want to show you something."

Brightfur tensed. "Are you going to kill me?"

"Do you have any idea how hard it would be to get away with killing a perfectly healthy young thing like you?" She snorted. "Stop being so paranoid and get over here."

She spared one last glance at Maplenose- Badgerthroat was diligently cleaning her wounds, no doubt terrified about losing her oldest daughter too- before joining her by the herbs. Ravenwind wrapped her tail around Brightfur's hindquarters, making her feel vaguely ill.

"A smooth Clan is a surviving Clan," she started. Brightfur watched without speaking as she sliced some moss off her nest. "But not every cat fits into a smooth Clan. Sometimes cats are too arrogant and plunge their Clanmates into danger. Sometimes cats are too soft to follow the code. Sometimes cats get too old. Our job, as medicine cats, is to the survival of ShadowClan. If something threatens that, we have to take care of it."

Brightfur stared at her mentor. "Are you... justifying yourself to me?"

"I'm explaining," Ravenwind snapped, glaring at her for speaking in the middle of her lecture. "You didn't think I do what I do willy-nilly, did you? I'm not a fluff-brain, Brightfur. Do you really think ShadowClan would be better if we had Leafleg as deputy instead of Slatestep? Would you rather I just grab someone at the border?"

"But you've killed more than Leafleg," she pointed out, emboldened by Ravenwind's decree of no intent to harm. "You killed Flowerpaw, and all she wanted was to be a medicine cat. Puddle was blind, and an elder- what harm could she have been to the Clan?"

"Puddle was deathly ill- I've seen the symptoms before. There was nothing anyone could do, medicine cat or vet."

Brightfur paused. Puddle had been complaining of stomach pains, but she doubted Ravenwind's claims nonetheless. She didn't put it past her to try and lie herself out of guilt- and she had all but ignored her mention of Flowerpaw. "What's a vet?"

"A Twoleg medicine cat," Ravenwind meowed, frowning. "I went to one, once. They have a bunch of cold rocks and bad-tasting pebbles in their dens, and they wear pelts of white."

"Oh." Brightfur scuffled her paw against the frozen floor. "I forget, sometimes. That you lived with kittypets."

"It wasn't for long."

"Did you have a kittypet name?"

"Unfortunately, yes. It was Rikki."

She tilted her head to the side. "What's a Rikki?"

Ravenwind sighed and shook her head. "A silly Twoleg story about a mongoose. We were all named after it- my sister and brother and I."

"You've... never talked about this with me before," Brightfur ventured.

"I never saw the point. But you're a sensible grownup now, and I suppose it's only fair." Ravenwind rolled some of the old deathberries into the moss, taking great care to avoid leaving any noticeable seeds or goop. "I wish I could show you with fresh-kill, but there's not enough to spare."

"You're telling me about your past life as a kittypet while simultaneously showing me how you kill warriors." Brightfur swallowed. "Holy frog-guts, I just realized this is my life."

Ravenwind batted her across the ear. For her, it was shockingly gentle. "Hush. You need to know this."

Why? It's not like I'll ever use it, Brightfur thought, but knew she had pushed her luck enough. She stared, unblinking, at the moss dripping with poisons.

The den got stuffy around Sunhigh, driving Brightfur out into the clearing. The snow had been padded down from patrols, making it almost icy under her paws. The pile was empty, leaving Brightfur hungry but not surprised as she sprawled out onto her side. The weak sunlight felt good on her fur.

She must've fallen into a doze, because she jumped when a paw jabbed her side. Berryshade hovered above her, shiny and plump, a bird clamped in her teeth. "Want some?"

Brightfur's heart fluttered. Berryshade hadn't so much as looked at her since her ceremony. "Yes, please. I'm starving."

"Aren't we-" Berryshade began to say, then paused and laid down without finishing. Her belly hung out to the side slightly. "How's it going?"

"Alright," she meowed mildly, taking a bite. It was weird to be asked instead of doing the asking. "I'm sorry I got you into this, Berryshade."

Berryshade shrugged awkwardly. "Better me than anyone else."

Brightfur stared at her sister, ashamed. Berryshade had been full of energy and life, once. Now she just seemed sad. "What've you been doing lately? You're never in camp anymore."

She flicked her ears around nervously. She lowered her voice. "I've been hanging out with some rogues."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. There's a whole bunch of them that hang out in the Carrionplace. They've been helping me toughen up."

Brightfur's eyes darted to her stomach. "Is one of them...?"

Berryshade's chin sunk into her shoulders, flustered. "Do I show that much?"

"No, no," she reassured her. "I'm just trained to look for these things. Believe it or not, there's been cases of apprentices and young warriors who were too embarrassed to talk to their medicine cat until they kitted. It's always best to keep an open line of communication for kitting."

The black she-cat leaned heavily on her side. Brightfur could feel how tense she truly was under her thick coat. "There's... this tom. His name is Smithy. He's not really Clan material, but he's charming, you know? He's wild and free, but he doesn't follow anyone or anything but himself." A grim chuckle echoed in her throat. "If he knew, he'd probably tell me to stop coming by. As long as you don't tell him, Smithy ignores it."

Brightfur's tail lashed. "Sounds like a real charmer."

"I was desperate, okay? I didn't want to think, and he never does."

"If you're worried about warriors asking questions, I'm sure we could ask someone to step up as a surrogate. Hawkflower, maybe, or Briarspots."

She shook her head. "I don't give a rat's tail about that. Brightfur, I... he looks just like Willowkit." Her breathing hitched. "And I never really thought about it, but then the other day this kittypet called me one of Smithy's Clan friends and I just... I dunno. I dunno what to do with that."

"Let him rot, then!"

"I'm not worried about him, Brightfur!" Berryshade snapped, pressing her muzzle close to her face. She spoke between gritted teeth. "Smithy was just a waste of time. But Badgerthroat and Willowkit and Antkit- they've been through enough. They don't need a scandal on top of it! I can't... I can't keep stalling, Brightfur. Something has to change."

A lump stuck in Brightfur's throat. "Berryshade, listen. Maybe I can talk to Ravenwind about this. She was in a good mood last night. I could-"

"Do what, Brightfur? Ravenwind does't know what no means. Everybody knows that." She shook her head. "Please. Just. Stay away from camp tomorrow. Just in case something goes wrong."

Her ears fell. "I won't do that to you."

"I wish you would."

"I wish I did a lot of things. That doesn't make them happen." Brightfur gently nudged the bird back to her. "Eat. A queen needs her strength."

Author's Note: Shiz be going down! Brightfur is a bit more snappish than usual, but when you're starving in the middle of winter and your Clanmates are getting harassed a lot you tend to be that way lol.

-Mandaree1