Hello everyone!

SWNerd4Life: Poor Tech indeed!

The commenter before you is actually a scammer and by the fact that my fic's title is in brackets, it's also a bot. It's going rampant on this site. I've gotten at least 5 different PMs with practically the exact same message in them. So you're the first real one! Congratulations!

I think they both need hugs.

I'm going with your explanation that she does because of her artifact chasing, but I also imagine speak of a sith could be just a phrase in the Star Wars universe like speak of the devil.

I might be touching on something like that in future chapters…

I'm excited for Andor Season 2 too! I might wait until that drops and see if we get any info on Luthen, because I'd love to include him in Across the Stars in a more lore compliant way. He is such a good character though. Thank you for reading!

We've got some, um, intense things going on in this chapter. Mind the trigger warnings, please keep your mental safe.

Trigger Warnings:

Force feeding

A form of torture

Implied/Referenced torture

Vomit and making oneself vomit

Intent to harm and/or kill oneself

Wanting to die

Chapter 3: Expedite

CX-2 waited, tensed. His captors had landed an hour ago and he had yet to understand why. They had not run low on fuel or any other supplies. They knew that their only chance to prevent the Empire from tracking them was to stay in hyperspace.

Why had they stopped?

They had left him alone, but had taken care to bind his hands to the vac tube so he could not move. Luckily, they had not noticed the worsening wound on his back. That was proceeding as planned. It still stung every time the coolant dripped, but he was sure it was leaching into his bloodstream. He could already feel some of the effects.

He would have made more attempts to escape, but three days without food, water, or sleep left him weak. All three were his choice. The lack thereof would expedite his planned termination.

His captors had had an argument regarding this. 9901 had said it was necessary to force feed him. 9904 rejected the idea every time it was put forth.

CX-2 froze as the ramp of the ship lowered. For a moment he expected Imperial troopers to board and put him out of his shame.

It was 9904, 9901, and CT-1409.

CT-1409 had replaced the other two troopers a day ago. He wore the strange expression the other members of Clone Force 99 had constantly.

9904 crouched in front of CX-2.

"Here." He said. "It took a long time to find this."

He held out an open ration bar.

CX-2 stared at it. By the grain of the bar, it was one of the more palatable options. One that he could eat without nearly gagging.

"Eat." 9904 said. "Please. I don't want to have to force it down your throat."

CX-2 could not take his eyes from the ration bar. His captors could have tried to force him to eat the other kind. Instead, they had landed, risking themselves, to find a food he could eat. It was foolish. It was irrational.

It was kind.

CX-2 did not know much of kindness. He knew Doctor Hemlock was kind. He had saved CX-2 and given him many chances to turn into the operative he had known CX-2 could be.

This felt different.

It made the smallest part of CX-2 wish to eat the rations.

He turned his head away.

"Tech." 9904 said. "If you don't eat, we'll have to use a feeding tube. We don't want to have to do that."

9904 proceeded to beg CX-2 to eat for the next ten minutes. CX-2 no longer wondered why the Doctor had given up on 9904.

"You are pathetic." CX-2 said.

9904's hand, the one holding the ration bar, shook. Another sign of weakness.

"Please." 9904 said again.

CX-2 turned away again.

"Crosshair." 9901 said.

"Give me more time!" 9904 said.

"He's going to be too weak soon." 1409 said. "You know our metabolism; he'll starve faster than a nat born. We need to get something in him."

9904 finally nodded.

"I'll do it." He said. He turned to CX-2, his face contorted. "I'm- I'm sorry."

He nodded to the other two clones.

CX-2 did not have the strength to break free as 9901 and 1409 grabbed his shoulders and pinned him to the wall. He still struggled, even more as 9904 took his face and forced his mouth open.

This- this had happened to him before.

That thought compelled him to fight harder against their hands. He caught sight of something glistening on 9904's cheeks.

9904 forced the flexible tube into CX-2's throat. CX-2 could not breathe. 9904 was muttering something, but the burning of the tube as it inched lower and lower drowned out everything. Why were they doing this? Why refuse to touch him for interrogation, but do this? He felt the tube reach his stomach and he was able to breathe again, if with some difficulty.

He could feel wetness on his cheeks, tears squeezed from his eyes. He barely registered 9904 moving, placing a funnel on the end of the tube. He felt cold sludge begin to fill his stomach.

Ration bars, when added to water, dissolve into a viscous liquid that is easier to consume. A part of his mind supplied blankly.

Finally, the uncomfortable sensation stopped, but the clones held him down still. He guessed it was to ensure some nutrients were absorbed, as he was likely to induce vomiting when they let him go.

He glared at them. Their faces were not what he expected. Their brows were creased and their jaws clenched. He- expected smirks, amusement from his pain.

Instead, there were tears in 9904's eyes.

CX-2 did not understand.

The seconds crawled with the excruciating pain in his throat. He knew it would be pointless, but he still tried to heave the food up.

"That's long enough." 1409 said after thirty-one minutes. "Let's get this thing out."

The extraction was agonizing as well. CX-2 could not prevent a long groan escaping him as the tube dragged from his throat. Then it was free and he sucked in a painful gasp of air. 9904 had stumbled away, clutching the tube slick with blood and mucus. He collapsed to his hands and knees, retching. 9901 went to him.

CX-2 found himself screaming at them through his ruined throat. Traitors. Cowards. Pathetic, weak creatures unworthy of Hemlock's attention.

"Let me die!"

The words filled the ship. He- it felt like something else had said them.

The three clones stared at him. 9904 turned away with heaving breaths, covering his face.

CX-2 remembered his mission and began heaving. 1409 was before him quickly and put a firm hand over his mouth.

"Please, just keep it down." He said. "Then we won't have to do- this as often."

CX-2 glared at 1409. He brought to mind the training where he'd been forced to vomit several times by gagging himself. He concentrated on that sensation and rode the resulting nausea until he could succumb to the urge to heave.

He jerked forward, flexing involuntary muscles. Bile and food surged up his tortured throat. It filled his mouth and nose and he spat it against 1409's hand. 1409 jerked his hand away and CX-2 took the opportunity to rid his stomach of the rest of the unwanted sustenance, covering the front of his blacks top.

1409 looked at CX-2 for a long time. He was not angry. When he finally moved, he did not strike CX-2, or retrieve the tube to force feed him again, or do anything a competent captor would. He instead retrieved sanitation wipes and a canteen. If they were competent, they would have let him sit in the vomit. They didn't. 1409, with 9901's help, cleaned CX-2, reapplied bacta to his shoulder wound, and dressed him in a clean blacks top. He tried to struggle throughout, but he was still weak and it risked them discovering his wound. They finally offered him water.

A traitorous part of him was relieved that they had removed the sodden blacks. The texture against his skin had occupied far more of his attention than it should have. Another one of his pre existing defects.

He longed to take the water. The taste and the smell of the bile was nearly as bad as the wet clothing. But he could feel his body weakening and the water would delay that process. The coolant in his bloodstream would soon reach lethal levels. And he would never give in to these deserters.

Crosshair fought to keep the contents of his stomach down. The smell of Tech's vomit didn't help. He'd tried to get up to help Hunter and Echo clean it up, but they each shook their heads at him.

"You rest." Hunter said.

Crosshair watched them clean Tech up. He remembered, years ago, when Tech had been really sick. They had been young, young enough for Tech to cry at the pain in his stomach. He'd been so overwhelmed by it all that Hunter, Crosshair, and Wrecker had had to take care of him like Echo and Hunter were now. But he'd been limp then, not rigid and fighting.

Crosshair closed his eyes, thinking of his brother all those years ago. Older than Crosshair, but Crosshair had been fiercely protective of him. So curious, so innocent, so trusting, so sensitive. Big brown eyes just like Omega's.

He'd just force fed that brother.

Nausea surged inside of him again. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and pressed his forehead against the cool durasteel wall. He forced his mind to go blank, though it wasn't working well. The image of Tech's hating eyes as they held him down wouldn't go away.

A soft touch made him jump. He looked up to see a concerned Hunter. He could hear Echo continue to try and coax Tech into drinking.

"You all right?" Hunter asked.

Crosshair was too exhausted to lie. He shook his head.

Hunter sat down next to him, quiet and comforting. A part, well, most of Crosshair didn't believe he deserved it.

"They did it to me." He rasped. "I wouldn't eat. I wanted to die."

Omega had saved him from that. She'd given him the strength to at least keep going, even if he thought it would be easier for everyone if he were dead.

"They didn't have to do it." Crosshair went on after a moment of silence. "I was strapped down half the time. They could have done it through the nose. I couldn't have ripped it out."

He took a shuddering breath. He had to get it out, like his very mind was on the edge of being sick.

"They had a chair that they could lock us into. But the TKs only used it for after, to wait for us to digest. They liked holding us down. Laughed as they shoved the damn tube down our throats." The words tumbled from his lips, each one burning and bitter. Hunter looked sick. Crosshair could see the guilt in his eyes. The part of him that would have felt satisfied at his brother's shame was dead. "I think it was done to wear us down. Make us easier to re-educate. I would rather die than have it happen again."

He couldn't look at Hunter anymore.

"If it happened to me, it happened to him." He said. "And we just did it again."

Hunter reached out to put a hand on Crosshair's shoulder.

"We don't have much choice at the moment." He said. "Kriff, we were lucky to find some way to keep him from starving himself."

He paused.

"You didn't have to do it." He said. "Crosshair, we could have done it alone. If we'd known-"

"He already hates me." Crosshair said. "No point in spreading it around."

He watched Tech glare at the floor, mouth sealed as Echo pleaded.

"The operative hates you." Hunter said. "Tech never did."

"Do you know that?" Crosshair asked. "Don't you think after he fell and was tortured into submission he might have made the logical choice and decided I wasn't worth it?"

Hunter sighed.

"We can't know that for certain." He said. "But I do know that the Tech I remember wouldn't have wanted you to torture yourself too."

Hunter stood up.

"You're not feeding him again." He said. "That's an order. Echo and I can handle it. And who knows? Maybe we're closer to a breakthrough than we think."

Crosshair turned away. He didn't want to shatter Hunter's hope, but he knew what Tech had gone through. He still believed there was a chance, and that they had to take it, but it would take longer than three days to bring their brother back.

To their collective relief, forcing himself to vomit drained Tech of any energy he had left and he fell asleep soon after. Crosshair noticed that he'd done everything in his power to keep sleep at bay, twisting himself into uncomfortable positions. But eventually his eyes drooped closed and his muscles relaxed.

"Finally." Echo muttered. They watched him from the other side of the ship. "Kriffing stubborn as ever."

Crosshair wondered briefly if it was Tech's own stubbornness or the dogmatic loyalty Hemlock had forced on him that drove him this far.

"We'll let him sleep for a few hours at least." Hunter decided. "And then we'll see if he'll take some water while he's still waking up."

"This ship doesn't have any environmental controls besides keeping it survivable." Crosshair muttered. "He'll wake from cold at this rate."

"If you want to try and get a blanket on him, be my guest." Echo said. "I'm afraid of getting within five feet of him. It feels like he'll wake up."

Someone had to do it. Crosshair eased himself to his feet and grabbed one of the blankets they'd picked up during their short stop. He crept across the room and froze as Tech stirred briefly. But his brother only sighed and relaxed. Crosshair lightly draped the blanket over his shoulders and backed away. Tech didn't move.

Crosshair joined Echo and Hunter again. He grimaced at the sight of his brother, hands still cuffed around the vac tube, which forced them above his head.

"I bet this'd be a lot easier if we could just get him comfortable." Echo said with a sigh.

"Being overwhelmed isn't helping." Hunter agreed.

Crosshair rubbed at his hand. He could feel it shake ever so slightly.

"Unfortunately, the better he feels, the more likely he is to try and kill us." He muttered. "Or himself."

The mission had gone well, at least Tech believed that to be the case. They had destroyed the depot that had carried thousands of replacement battle droid power sources in a timely manner. In fact, they were three hours ahead of schedule. They had no major injuries and they had performed their roles nearly flawlessly. Tech was proud to have another exceptional report be sent to Command. After twenty-five successful missions, surely they had proven their worth.

Despite this, his squad seemed less celebratory than usual, though he was not sure. Especially Crosshair.

"Well boys, it looks like we have some downtime." Hunter said as they reached the Marauder. "Our rendezvous' not for another six hours, and it's a three hour trip."

"We would do well to arrive early." Tech said. "The station to which we are reporting has the equipment that would allow me to optimize several systems of the Marauder."

"We have a chance to wait on a decent planet for once and you want to make us go early?" Crosshair snapped.

Tech cocked his head. Yes, the planet was pleasant, temperate, and home to wildlife that did not wish to harm them, but there was not much they could do here that they could not at the station.

Before Tech could inform him of that fact, Crosshair made a harsh noise and stomped into the ship. Hunter gave Tech a 'look' and followed him.

"Is he angry at me?" Tech asked Wrecker.

Wrecker rubbed at the back of his head.

"Well, yeah." He said. "You upset him with what ya said on the mission."

Tech blinked.

"I do not recall saying anything upsetting." He said. He put on his helmet and flicked down his visor. "At what point did I say it?"

"After Cross missed that shot." Wrecker supplied.

Tech streamed his recording of the mission to his visor. He scanned through the footage until he found what he was looking for.

"-Hunter, you have two commando droids incoming." He heard himself say. "Due to Crosshair missing both shots."

This time Tech registered Crosshair's silence after the report, which was unusual.

"I did not make an incorrect statement." Tech said to Wrecker, though he was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

"But you didn't hafta call him out." Wrecker said. "He got flashbanged, it wasn't his fault."

Tech sighed. He believed he saw his error now.

"Based on past experiences, he will be angry for some time." He said. "Is there anything I could do to expedite the process?"

"I'm guessin' you just asked me how to help him not be mad at you." Wrecker said. "I mean, I think he likes this planet cause all the birds and stuff, but you can't really see a lot of them from down here."

Tech had an idea.

"Crosshair, would you like to accompany me on a low altitude flight?" Tech asked.

Crosshair, who had been turned away from him in the co-pilot's seat, glanced back.

"Why?" He asked.

Tech shrugged, following Hunter's advice to be 'casual' about the situation.

"I have considered your insinuation that we should spend time on this planet, and I agree." He said. "I would like to observe the local flora and fauna from a more efficient perspective."

Crosshair turned away again.

"Do what you want. I'm not getting up."

"Very well." Tech said. "Hunter and Wrecker prefer to stay behind."

Crosshair just grunted.

He stayed turned away with his arms crossed as Tech lifted off. Tech resisted the urge to practice a sharp swing back to port with zero thruster pull and just glided over the forest. Crosshair glanced up as a flock of native birds burst from the canopy of trees. Tech guided the ship to follow the avians. He glanced at Crosshair multiple times over the next twenty minutes. Crosshair didn't look back. He seemed enraptured with the view. Tech smiled.

The next six hours crawled. Crosshair, Echo, and Hunter waited, tense as durasteel, waiting for Tech to wake. He- didn't.

Crosshair at first chalked it up to the three days without sleep. But as the sixth hour started turning to the seventh, he knew something was wrong. Tech never slept longer than six hours, and Tech with the harsh discipline of a CX trooper would rather die than be defenseless this long.

"I'm going to try and get him to drink something." Echo said finally.

He got up and approached Tech. Tech didn't move. He didn't stir when Echo crouched down next to him.

He finally shifted when Echo held the canteen to his lips. He blinked and- and drank.

The relief that shot through Crosshair was killed by Echo's anxious expression.

"What's wrong?" Hunter demanded.

"He's feverish." Echo said.

He put down the canteen. Tech stared at the flask with a furrowed brow and Crosshair immediately saw what Echo did. Tech's eyes were glassy and there was a sheen of sweat on his forehead. By the time Echo had pulled off his glove to feel at Tech's forehead, Crosshair and Hunter were with him.

"Kriff, he's burning up." Echo muttered. "What happened?"

Tech struggled briefly as Crosshair lifted his blacks to look at his shoulder. It seemed more because he didn't want to be touched, rather than the frenzied thrashing he'd done earlier.

"His shoulder is fine." Crosshair said. "No infection."

"Was he injured somewhere else?" Hunter asked.

Crosshair grit his teeth.

"Not when we brought him on board." He said. "But it could have happened since."

"But could it have gotten infected so quickly?" Echo asked.

"We won't know anything until we check." Hunter said.

Crosshair was tense as Hunter carefully undid Tech's binders, but the only thing Tech did was bring his hands to his chest. He was shivering, Crosshair realized. Echo eased Tech's sleeve down.

"His wrists are irritated." He said. "And could use some bacta, but they don't seem infected."

Crosshair and Hunter waited, ready for any sign of aggression as Echo checked Tech over. It never came.

Instead, Tech was limp and passive. It was almost as disturbing as seeing him full of hate. Echo went to his back, and then hissed out a curse.

"What is it?" Crosshair asked immediately.

"Take a look." Echo said.

Crosshair craned his neck and saw, at the base of Tech's spine, an angry red tear in his skin.

No, it wasn't red. It was more purple than red, and it stemmed from a broken tube connected to the cybernetics. Tech stiffened as Echo brushed his fingers near the area.

"How did this happen?" Echo muttered. "That wasn't there when I checked his cybernetics back on Teth."

"He did it himself." Hunter said quietly. "Look at the shape of the rip. He used his fingernails."

"Kriff." Crosshair muttered. "He's trying to kill himself."

"Still?" Hunter asked.

"He has information that Hemlock doesn't want anyone finding out about." Crosshair said. "He probably has an order to terminate himself in any way possible."

Hunter stared at the floor for a long time.

"What is that stuff?" He finally asked.

"I can't be sure." Echo said. "A lubricant, a coolant, kriff. Whatever it is, it can't be good for him."

"Let's get him patched up." Hunter said. "And stop that leak. He might be determined to kill himself, but that's not gonna happen."

From the top!

So yeah, heavy chapter. Continuing the trend of Tech having food aversions. I really like the idea of Tech and the other CXs being conditioned into thinking Hemlock was the best and super nice and was so generous to make them CXs.

I realized, due to the questionably canon concept of the clones' accelerated metabolism, they would starve way quicker than a normal person. Which is why they're so concerned about getting food into him.

This scene was born of me thinking 'can you make someone eat solids?' After research and reading a truly disturbing recounting of someone who was force fed through a tube- no. No you can't. And that of course led to this horrifying scene. Why can't they use a nose tube? The tube is too small for the thick ration bar liquid to get through. And also he'd tear it out.

A bit of the true Tech shining out in this chapter. Just a hint.

So while I was researching if it was possible to make yourself throw up without using your hands, I ran into a lot of forums of people with eating disorders. It was upsetting to say the least. Take care of yourselves, guys. Anyway, apparently one of the only surefire ways to make yourself vomit WITHOUT your hands is recalling throwing up in the past and kind of letting the sensations overcome you.

After researching force feeding, I feel like it's a really underused torture method. And I one hundred percent believe that they were trying to break the will of the clones intended for the CX program.

I could not resist having Crosshair giving Tech a blanket.

I wish I recorded everything so I could fact check myself. Also Wrecker is an emotionally intelligent king.

The Bad Batch: gives Crosshair an ice vulture motif

Me: so you're saying that he loves birds?

I am obsessed with Crosshair loving birds. I don't know why. But I also do believe he loves heights and is fascinated by them.

Oops Tech your plan to terminate yourself is backfiring.

Okay, we've hit a low point. Things will start looking up a bit next chapter.

Stay safe, remember to review, and have a great week!