Jumin POV

"Jumin… Jumin…" Zen's singsong voice murmurs at my ear.

I smile, feeling his hand on my arm, and his bare back under my fingertips. Bliss… pure bliss…

"Jumin," he continues with a laugh. "It's Monday morning, babe, time to get ready for work."

My smile falls as my eyes snap open. I meet Zen's warm gaze and feel him running his hands through my hair.

"I turned off your alarm, but that was a few minutes ago already. You should probably start getting ready."

My eyes drop, scanning Zen idly as I try to reconcile my thoughts. I barely slept last night. I couldn't calm myself. Even with Zen here, even with him in my arms, I felt this ache in my chest. That slight indulgence yesterday… that dip of my toes into the pool of my true desires… it's making it harder to bottle them up again. I know enough to be aware that my feelings are… wrong. My feelings are too strong - they must be controlled. I know this. Mother knew this. But after acknowledging they're there… acknowledging this… this… need to be with him, to keep him safe, to keep him bound to me forever… How do I go back? I feel like I'm breaking. And it is all made worse by Zen's words… his constant requests for me to 'relax and don't hold back.' 'Be wild.' 'Lose control.' Dangerous. So dangerous. I spent the night silently praying for God to take pity on me, but he has given me no such mercy. My strings continue to reach out from their knot, unwilling to stay bound.

"Jumin? Are you pouting again?" My gaze flits back up to Zen's face, seeing a tender, kind expression. "It's just a regular day of work. And you have the pictures to look at."

His hands smooth over my face and through my hair in a loving caress, and I close my eyes at the joy of his touch. This kind of comfort is so foreign to me, and yet is quickly becoming a necessity that I don't know how to live without.

"Babe…" he continues, though his tone is now steeped with concern. "Why aren't you saying anything?"

My eyes sinch shut as I take a steeling breath. When I finally look at him, I plaster on an even expression. "My apologies. I didn't sleep well."

"That's it? Are you sure…?" Zen's eyes narrow. "You sure there isn't something else bothering you?"

I hesitate, not wanting to expose myself but also not wanting to lie. "I'll miss you. I do not wish to leave this bed."

His face softens. Scooting closer, he kisses me gently, a light peck of his soft lips. "I know. I'll miss you, too. But it's just a day of work, Jumin," he says softly, kindly, and kisses me again. "We'll have plenty more time to spend together." Another kiss. "Before you know it, the day will be over, and we'll be back together… and back in this bed." This time his kiss is joined by his tongue, which grazes against my lips ever so lightly. I open my mouth to him, but he pulls away, smirking. "But first… you have to go to work. And I have to rehearse!" he adds excitedly, hopping out of bed. I let my eyes trail openly down his every muscle and curve as he poses theatrically. "A little bit of this! And a little bit of that! Oooo…!" He wriggles with restless enthusiasm. "Can you believe my audition is tomorrow already? I'm so nervous but also SO ready."

And just like that, peace washes over me as that hum takes up residence in my chest again. I cannot stop my broad smile as I gape at his candidness… his intoxicating passion. His light is infectious.

"You will do wonderfully," I say with wholehearted confidence. "And I'll be right there with you, cheering you on."

"Aww, thanks, b- eh, wait a minute." Zen falters mid pose. "You mean at the first showing, right? If I get the part?"

"No." I shake my head, finally rising out of the covers. "Tomorrow. I know Father requested I go in to work today, but surely they will not need me tomorrow. I will make sure I'm there to support you during your audition," I say with a pleased nod.

I put on my watch from my nightstand, checking it to see that I am indeed running quite behind schedule, and head for the bathroom.

I hear Zen's footfalls hurrying behind me. "Umm… babe? Heh," he begins. Something in his voice sounds odd, and I give him a quizzical look over my shoulder as I pause for him to catch up. Once he does, he takes my hands in his, squeezing them tightly. "I really, really appreciate you wanting to be there tomorrow, but this is something I need to go and do on my own."

My brows furrow. "You don't want me there for your audition?"

"It's not so much that I don't want you there… but it's just, well… this is for my work," he says, rubbing his thumbs along the ridges of my hands as he speaks. "It's not very professional to have your famous, rich, conglomerate, secret boyfriend sitting there loitering and distracting everyone."

His thin smile is warm and apologetic, and I quickly realize that he has made a good point. With Zen, I keep forgetting that I'm Jumin Han - I just feel like Jumin.

I clear my throat. "I see." I hesitate, rethinking my options. "What if I were to perhaps sneak in the back?"

"Jumin!" Zen laughs, shoving me away lightly. "No! No showing your face at the theater tomorrow, got it?"

I can't help but smile. I love seeing Zen's face alight with laughter and that tinge of indignation when I tease him. He's so lovely. He's so… real.

"Very well," I answer with a light brush against his waist. "I won't show my face tomorrow. Alright, my dear?" I kiss his shoulder then resume my journey to the bathroom.

I leave the door only an inch ajar, wanting my privacy but not wanting to completely close him out. It is such a little thing, I doubt Zen even notices, but that gap… that space allows me to feel connected. And I want to be bound to him as much as possible, even if it is just an invisible tether reaching through an almost closed door.

I use the restroom. I wash my face. I brush my teeth. And through every action I swear I can feel him moving in correspondence out in the other room. And just knowing he's there… knowing we are, in a way, connected through the air we are breathing… It is a relief. A source of strength.

And once I'm dressed, ready to actually head out of that increasingly foreboding mahogany door, I find nausea tinged with resentment holding me back.

"Have a good day at work, babe," Zen says with a smile. He is all lightness and calm as his arms drape over my shoulders. Is it not so hard on him because he's not the one leaving? Or is it because I'm… abnormal?

I stand for a moment, wrestling with my options. Could I just stay home? Could I just quit? …Could I just tie him to me with an unbreakable cord?

"Would you like to come with me?" I ask in a rush. I surprise myself with the question, my every word usually far more planned out.

"No way," he laughs, eyebrows raising then furrowing quizzically. "You know I'm rehearsing hardcore today. I can't do that at your office."

"So you'll be here? I don't have to worry about you getting nabbed by any fans, at the very least?"

"Jumin, you're worrying way too much!" His hands move to my face, cupping it tightly. I can feel my lip pooch out in a pout as his warm palms squish my cheeks. "God, when did you get so cute?" Zen laughs. Then he leans in and lightly lays his lips against my pout in a gentle kiss. "You know, I didn't tell you," he says in a whisper as he touches his forehead to mine, "but yesterday, I ran into some fans."

I pull back, panic coursing through me. I grip his arms, as if to make sure he is really here, really unharmed, even though he's obviously been fine and with me safely this whole time. He gently smooths out my jacket sleeves, calming the fear that rose so quickly within me, until my grip on him loosens.

"Do you know what they said?" he continues, his voice low and calm. When I shake my head, he says, "They can't dare touch me, or Jumin Han will come after them."

"And I would," I say quickly.

Zen scoffs. "I know! I think even if I did go out, this is the safest I've ever been…" His red eyes roll a bit as he speaks.

I ruminate on this. …So it worked? I passed on the protection of my name even without directly claiming him…?

"But you'll be home today?" I clarify. At least if I know where he is… at least if I know he's safe…

"I don't have any plans to go out today," he says with a shrug. "Your penthouse has pretty great acoustics. It's actually a lot like this theater in Jung-gu district I got to work at once… It's been great for rehearsing."

"Good," I smile, finally relaxing enough to release him and step towards the door. My chest hums as I gaze at him, forever beautiful, even as he stands in lounge clothes and bare feet. "Blessed are these walls that have been graced by your angelic voice." He shifts as his face reddens, but I can't help but continue, my truth pouring out of me in a soft murmur. "Blessed am I since the moment you walked through my door."

"Fuck, Jumin," he huffs out, skin now crimson from his shirt collar to the tips of his ears. It reminds me of when he's flushed from pleasure. "You can say that, but not…" He shakes his head and approaches. Snuggly pulling on my tie, he yanks me to him in a kiss filled with an intensity akin to desire, yet somehow different.

But I am given no further time to parse out this new feeling as Zen breaks away, fixes my tie, and spins me around with a finishing slap to my rear.

He clears his throat, then says in a hurried tone, "I love you, Jumin, but it's time for you to go. Have a good day." His eyes shift, then he kisses my cheek in a quick peck. "See you tonight."

Zen reaches around me and swings the door open. I blink in surprise, but can't help but shuffle out as he walks towards me. And before I know it, I'm in the hall, and Zen gives me a final, warm smile before slamming my own door in my face.

I hear a snicker to my left, and turn to see my security. His expression quickly falls into stoic sobriety. "Morning, Mr. Han."

I grit my teeth as I straighten. Very well. Time to be Jumin Han again.

When I make it to my office, I toss my jacket over the arm of the black leather sofa and lean against my desk. At least being here, it feels as if the pieces of who I am - who I am supposed to be - fall into place. Crossing my arms, I breathe deeply as I survey my office: cold, clean, and monochrome. Every single item in this room is upscale, yet stoic and aloof… including me. This has always been my reality. Productivity. Order. Controlled command. This is me. This is Jumin Han.

And yet, when I'm with Zen I feel so… different. It almost feels like a dream. Fanciful and illusionary… like flying through the clouds only to wake on your pillow. But he's real… isn't he? Our time together, our relationship, his touch… it's not a hallucination. I reach into my pocket to pull out my phone, suddenly desperate for Zen's shining warmth, for the evidence of our bond, but as usual, Assistant Kang is knocking at my door only moments after my arrival.

With an irked sigh, I abandon my phone in my pocket, tuck my final string into place, and call for her to enter.

"Sir," she says with a bow. "You have a full itinerary today. I would like to go over the schedule with you, but I am hoping you will take a call from Luciel first."

"Luciel?" Genuine surprise fills my tone.

"Yes, sir," she mumbles, a behavior uncharacteristic to her typical decorum. "I would like to assure you that I did not tell him. Luciel just… has his ways, apparently." She shifts awkwardly, not making eye contact with me as she holds out her cell phone in my direction.

Unsure what game Luciel is up to this time, I reach for the phone and put it to my ear, already annoyed. "Luciel?"

"Juju!" he calls excitedly. "Honestly, so happy for you - I mean, I have to admit I never thought it was actually possible you two'd get together… but that means congrats are even more in order! Waa-hoo!" I hear what I assume to be a party popper go off in the background.

"Stop making more messes!" I hear a gruff and angry voice call faintly through the phone.

"Luciel, what are you talking about? And who was that?"

"Ohhh, did you hear that? Whoops," he chuckles and I hear shuffling. "Don't mind them. That's just my maid. Anywaaay," he continues quickly, "You and Zen! I know I always teased you about being gay, so you may have a bad impression of me, but I don't discriminate! Love is love! I'll support you two lovebirds with the power of God Seven!"

So he knows? My eyes narrow in on Assistant Kang as I hold her phone tight against my ear, wondering if she let something slip.

"It wasn't me, sir," she says hurriedly. "Luciel somehow got hold of a photo of you two."

"Photo?"

"The pic from your phone," he says lightly. "I sent it to the chatroom, and Jaehee called me all angry! I didn't know she could sound so scary…"

Sent it to the chatroom…? So the photo in question should be on her phone right now? I pull the phone back from my ear and navigate through the messenger app to the chatroom. Sure enough, right there on Assistant Kang's phone is the photo Zen took of us kissing. Initially, a sense of relaxation fills me at the sight. This photo is testimony and delight rolled into one. But, suddenly, I notice the rest of the photo. Not just his flushed and glowing cheeks, the shine of his silver hair, or the sweet upward curve of his lips as he kisses me… But the fact that we are clearly nude - or shirtless, at least - and sitting together in my bed. And this… this very personal photo that Zen took with my phone to be my comfort for the day… is now in the possession of the entire RFA.

My eyes snap up to Assistant Kang with a glare. At least she has the decency to look embarrassed.

"Delete this photo now," I bark the order into the phone. "Delete your copy as well."

"Whaaaat? Why?" Luciel whines. "The others haven't even logged in yet! They'll miss the good news!"

"We will tell everyone in good time, and when we do, it will not involve the release of an intimate picture like that," I answer, trying to keep the strain from my tone. "In any case, how did you get that photo in the first place? Did you hack my phone?"

"Ehhh… I'd hardly call it hacking. The messenger app gives me full access to all of your phones," he says blithely.

I cinch my eyes shut. We talked about taking naughtier photos… What if I had had nudes of Zen? No, not even just that. Zen's smile… if he takes a photo just for me, I want it to remain MINE. My knuckles tighten around the phone until they hurt.

"That's an invasion of privacy, Luciel. Unless you want me to rain down a cascade of suffering on your life, you will revoke your access." I say each word with dominating clarity.

"Ehh… heh, heh… sorry, no can do Mr. Han. V wants me to be able to monitor everyone in the RFA for safety reasons." This takes me by surprise. But before I can reply with a variation of my demand, Luciel presses on. "But I can delete the photo from the chatroom," he drones out begrudgingly. "You and Jaehee can be really scary! It's not fair! I didn't even blackmail you for Elly visits like I wanted to…"

"Am I supposed to be grateful? And I'm never letting you near my dear Elizabeth the 3rd again. Not after you abused her last time."

"I would never!" he hollers through the phone with an affronted gasp. "She wanted to do that dance routine! And besides, once I found out you guys were legit, there was no way I'd blackmail you over it. I'd never threaten true love! 707 fights for justice, after all!"

I must admit, my anger towards Luciel melts slightly at the words 'legit' and 'true love' being used to describe mine and Zen's relationship. It can feel so unreal… so euphoric as to be impossible. It's nice to have it validated by an external individual. It's nice to feel like it's not all in my head.

"Still mad?" Luciel questions as my silence stretches. He sighs, adding, "I guess I miiiight have overstepped by going through your photos and sharing a half naked picture of you two. How can I make it up to you? You clearly don't need a wingman, anymore... Maybe some limited edition Honey Buddha chips? Ehh… but I don't really want to give those up. Or I could hack the video footage of Zen's audition? Ah, no, that's dumb. I'm sure you'll be there tomorrow…"

I perk up at his offer. "I won't be, actually. Zen asked that I not show my face. Too… high profile, I suppose."

"Well, hey! Then how about I patch you in to watch live from your office? I'm sure they have security cameras in the theater I could gain access to easy peasy."

"I had wanted to watch it in person… but I suppose this would be better than missing it. Very well. I accept your offer, Luciel."

"Whoo-hoo! And I'll be forgiven after this?"

I sigh, my eyes doing a half roll as I grind my teeth. "Yes. Sure."

"Yahoo! Agent 707… preserving love and righting wrongs…"

"Then, if that is quite all, I should be going now. Goodbye, Luciel."

"Later, Juju-bean!" he says with a giggle before the line clicks off.

I pull the phone from my head and look at it, the chatroom and the photo still open on the screen. My chest hums just looking at it, but then it vanishes before my eyes. Ah… Luciel must have removed it, as promised. …Good, I think, though disappointment at its absence fills me. Perhaps I should delete my copy as well, since Luciel can access it at any time… But that thought makes me feel sick.

hold out the phone towards Assistant Kang. Nervously, she retrieves it, and takes two wide steps back. With the dignified coolness I was taught from youth, I stand straight and move to my desk chair, forcing an air of calm despite my riling insides.

"You said there was a lot on today's agenda?" I query in an even tone.

"Yes, sir." She shoves her phone in her jacket pocket and pulls out her tablet from seemingly nowhere.

As she begins to go through the schedule for today, jam packed with not only standard meetings and evaluations, but also with extra conferences to address the new charity and calm the shareholders, I fall into line. My emotions ball up inside me, bringing Jumin Han to the reins again. Productivity. Order. Controlled command. This is good. I can feel my mind regain its usual sharpness and resolve, its usual clarity and composure. Only a very vague sense of nagging remains, like an itch only Zen's presence can scratch.

When Assistant Kang finishes her review of the schedule and turns to leave my office, I call after her with one more request.

"Assistant Kang."

"Yes?"

"Also, today, I need two new phones. Upgraded security, and the only contact necessary in each one is the other phone's number."

She hesitates, then denotes my request on her tablet. "Yes, Mr. Han," she says with a nod and walks out.

At least with our own phones… I can have as many pictures of him as I want. And they'll all be mine alone. Just as Zen should always be.

Zen's POV

Sweat drips down my brow and my chest strains as I hold the final note of the climatic song I have chosen to do for my audition. This is the fifth time in a row I've practiced it since my last water and vocal break, and I need to be careful not to overstress my vocal cords. Even with my increased healing, I've been practicing all day, and I don't want to take any risks of losing my voice for tomorrow's audition.

Panting as I catch my breath, I grab a towel to wipe the sweat from my forehead and walk to the counter where my phone and water bottle are waiting for me. Taking a few swift chugs, I open my phone, seeing a missed text from Jumin.

Jumin: Zen. I had wanted to call to check in with you midday today, but my schedule has been packed. I hope you are well and are enjoying singing your heart out. *smiley cat emoji* I miss you dearly. Unfortunately, I think I will be late arriving home tonight. Is that alright? I will play hooky if you give the word.

I chuckle, smiling at my phone, and reply.

Zen: No playing hooky! But also… don't stay out too late, okay babe? *winky emoji* I think if you'll be late I'll step out to get a snack. Want me to grab you anything from the convenience store? Seoyung did restock the fridge today, but convenience store snacks just hit different, you know?

I sit at a bar stool, waiting for Jumin's response, but minutes tick by and he doesn't reply.

"He must be pretty busy," I muse. "Ah, well. He probably has never even tried cheap snacks like that before anyway," I say to myself with a laugh. I'll have to get him some different ones to try.

I quickly get changed out of my sweaty clothes, say goodbye to Elly, and head out. As I pass the guard at Jumin's door, I give him a quick nod and a smile, letting him know I'll be back in a bit. And it feels familiar now, but also weird. The long hallway to the elevator, and the lengthy ride down… Without Jumin next to me, it all feels so vast. How lonely it must feel for him to always live in this routine by himself.

The elevator door dings as I hit the main lobby, but as soon as it opens, a camera flash goes off.

"Ah," I grumble, covering my face from the bright light.

More flashes go off, and I hurry out the glass doors into the darkening streets of evening. I check behind me as I walk along the Seoul sidewalk, but see that no one's following me. What was that about? Was that for someone else?

A few people seem to eye me as I walk - which is nothing unusual - but no one stops me, which is nice. I relax, and simply enjoy the feel of the cool, fresh air filling my lungs.

When I get to the convenience store, I grab a ton of snacks, even the awful ones, but common ones that I think every Korean kid has tried at least once. I wonder if he's ever had any of these, I think with a snort as I pile them up at the register. The cashier tries to hide her smile as she rings up bag after bag of various candies and cheap finger foods.

As I'm handing her the bills to pay, my phone rings.

"Sorry, excuse me," I say to her, assuming it's Jumin calling and pulling my phone out right away.

But when I look, the number comes up as the business phone for the National Theater. My eyes go wide, and I scramble.

"Keep the change," I say quickly to the cashier as I grab my bag and rush out the door, answering the phone with shaky, hurried hands. "Hello?"

"Hello, is this Zen?" says the tired voice of an older woman.

"Yes, is this about my audition tomorrow?"

"Yes. I regret to inform you that your audition has been canceled," she says with no remorse in her tone.

"W-wait, what?" I stutter, hoping that I heard her wrong. "Could you please repeat that?"

"Your audition for the role in Monster of the Opera has been canceled."

My heart drops to the ground, the world around me going hazy as my breathing comes to a halt. Blinking, I wheeze, sucking in a gulp of air before I plead my case.

"No! But I mean, I've been rehearsing like crazy… Please!" I beg. "Why was my audition canceled? Can I come in to speak with you?"

She lets out a short sigh. "I'm sorry, sir, but I'm not the one who made the decision. The director and the casting director will be leaving shortly, and are currently unavailable. Perhaps you will be able to audition in the future. My apologies."

"But-" I begin as the line clicks dead. "No… No! Shit! Shit, shit, fuck, shit!" I yell and stomp, running my hands through my hair as onlookers stare at me with nervous looks. I mumble an additional 'fuck' under my breath as I look around. No. No way am I going to accept this without fighting!

At full speed, I take off running toward the theater.