The Sunnydale Natural History Museum proved as interesting as any other museum would to a gaggle of teenagers – not very. Despite the big banner announcing "Cultural Exchange Special Exhibit: Treasures of South America", nobody really gave it much attention. Buffy sulked as Willow, Jesse and Xander walked around her through the rose gardens toward the building. "This is so unfair," she complained.

Willow, as ever, tried to stay optimistic. "I don't think it's that bad."

"It's the uber-suck. Mom could've at least warned me."

Xander shrugged. "Well, a lot of parents are doing it this year. It's part of this whole cultural exchange magilla. The exhibit, the dance…"

Willow's expression turned excited. "I have the best costume for the dance!"

"We should all coordinate our nationalities beforehand," suggested Jesse, only somewhat playful. "I'd hate to come in wearing the same country as somebody else."

Buffy couldn't be moved from her complaining. "A complete stranger in my house for two weeks. I'm gonna be insane! A danger to myself and others within three days, I swear."

"I think the exchange student program's cool," said Xander, earning himself a couple of bemused looks from the others. "I do! It's a beautiful melding of two cultures."

Jesse smirked. "And when's the last time your family did anything like the exchange program?"

Xander thought for a moment. "My dad tried to send me to some Armenians once. Does that count?"

Chuckling, they climbed the steps to the building entrance and the cultural exchange exhibit. Once inside the lobby, they spotted Cordelia and two other girls looking over a book of people's profiles. "Ooo! There's mine! Sven. Isn't he lunchable? Mine's definitely the best," she said as she passed the gang.

"What're you lookin' at?" Buffy asked curiously.

"Pictures of our exchange students," Cordelia replied, showing her the photo she'd just been ogling. "Look. One hundred percent Swedish, one hundred percent gorgeous, one hundred percent staying at my house!"

"And if he comes with Swedish meatballs, you got a winner," grinned Jesse as they headed further into the museum.

Buffy regarded him for a moment – not a trace of jealousy. The guy did look outstanding, and he would be staying in Cordelia's house, and Jesse McNally simply made a lighthearted quip and carried on. He really had gotten over her.

Then, she became aware that Cordelia was talking to her. "So, how's yours? Visually, I mean."

Buffy shrugged. "I don't know. Guy like?"

A frown crossed Xander's face. "By 'guy-like', we are talking 'big, beefy, guy-like girl', right?"

"Sexy," remarked Jesse.

But Buffy simply continued. "I was just told 'guy'."

Cordelia looked incredulous. "You didn't look at him first? He could be dogly. You live on the edge," she remarked as she walked off.

Xander, of course, couldn't let this go. "Hold on a sec. So, this person who's living with you for two weeks is a man. With man parts. This is a terrible idea."

"What about the beautiful melding of two cultures?" asked Willow.

"There's no melding, okay? He better keep his parts to himself."

Jesse nodded. "It does seem weird that they'd pair a male exchange student with a female native student. I mean, I'm hip with the nineties and everything, but still…"

They stopped at the end of a row of display cases, and Buffy noticed one of the students scraping a mask. "What's he doing?"

They followed her gaze. "Oh, that's Rodney Munson," replied Xander. "He's God's gift to the bell curve."

They watched as another student dared to approach Rodney, getting growled at as a result, his braces briefly reflecting the light. "Thuggish, brutish and dumbish," sighed Jesse. "He's the whole package, all right."

Willow grinned knowingly. "You guys just don't like him because of that time he beat you both up every day for five years."

"Yeah, we're irrational that way," deadpanned Xander, unamused.

Buffy tried not to giggle, but Jesse still raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, laugh at our childhood trauma, why don't you?"

Clearing her throat, she composed herself. "I better stop him before he gets in trouble."

But Willow held up a hand to stop her. "I got it. The non-violent approach is probably better here," she said before going over to Rodney.

Buffy watched her go, a little offended. "I wasn't gonna use violence. I don't always use violence." She looked between the two boys. "Do I?"

"Which answer doesn't end with us getting hit?" asked Jesse, just barely avoiding her taking a swat at his chest.

They watched as Willow engaged in conversation with Rodney, who, oddly enough, greeted her in a friendly way as they discussed things. They knew Willow tutored a lot of the other students. Sometimes even Buffy, Jesse and occasionally Xander sought out her tutelage. As a result, some of the less pleasant kids gave her a pass to talk to them because she helped them, and it seemed Rodney was no exception, because he stopped defacing museum property and backed off.

The museum guide stood before the group of kids. "Welcome, students. We shall now proceed into the Incan burial chamber. The human sacrifice is about to begin."

Of course, there was no human sacrifice. Inside the burial chamber, they watched a presentation in the darkened room, looking at the various artifacts lit up in spotlights.

"Typical museum trick," sighed Xander. "Promise human sacrifice, deliver old pots and pans."

"Five hundred years ago," the guide was saying, "the Incan people chose a beautiful teenage girl to become their princess."

They took the steps up to a platform where the Incan stone coffin and mummy were on display. "I hope this story ends with, 'And she lived happily ever after'," murmured Willow.

They peered into the coffin, and they saw the leathered old face of a mummy – macabre, freeze-dried, black sockets instead of eyes, and downright ugly. "No," said Xander, "I think it ends with, 'And she became a scary, discolored, shriveled mummy.'"

"The Incan people sacrificed their princess to the mountain god Sebancaya," the guide continued, "an offering buried alive for eternity in this dark tomb."

Jesse made a face as he peered into the tomb. "So they're basically just showing a bunch of high school kids a dead body and calling it 'cultural'. That's the long and short of it."

"The princess remained there protected only by a cursed seal placed there," said the guide, pointing to the plate in the mummy's hands, "as a warning to any who would wake her."

Stepping away from the poorly-bandaged remains, the gang noticed Cordelia and a few other girls still looking at the exchange student pictures and laughing. "So, Buffy," said Xander as casually as he could, "when's 'exchange-o boy' making his appearance?"

"His name's Ampata," said Buffy. "Gonna be at the bus station tomorrow night."

"Ooo. The Sunnydale bus depot. Classy! What a better way to introduce someone to our country than with the stench of urine."

His friends just rolled their eyes and kept walking. Even if Xander could ever move on from Buffy, he would never one hundred percent be happy with any guy that entered her life. His snarky nature always turned more vitriolic whenever a new guy entered her life.

The guide announced they would be moving on to the next exhibit, and they followed him out of the room, leaving the icky-looking mummy behind.

Later that day, while the field trip continued on through the various other exhibits, Rodney emerged from the shadows and took a moment he had no witnesses. In addition to being an unintelligent delinquent, he also enjoyed stealing things. Not even really for monetary gain – he just enjoyed the thrill of it. He peered around cautiously before he made his way back up to the mummy. He looked into the stone coffin and saw the plate with the seal.

"Cool," he murmured.

He reached in and yanked at the plate, trying to wrest it from the mummy's grip. He got it out of one hand, and yanked it hard to get it out of the other. It came loose, and he pulled it up too fast, breaking it against the side of the coffin.

"Oh! Damn!"

Realizing he may have just gotten himself into worse trouble than he meant to, he reached in to collect the pieces. The mummy's arms abruptly reached up and grabbed him by the neck. Its eyelids opened to reveal empty sockets as it pulled him in closer, and he knew this hadn't been worth the trouble.

The library echoed as Buffy attacked Giles in another training exercise, his hands protected with the thick cushioned training pads that he said just barely did the job absorbing her Slayer strength. They danced around the room while Jesse and Xander sat at the table in the middle doing their homework.

"So, can I go?" Buffy asked as nicely as she could.

"I think not," Giles replied.

She pouted as she landed four hard hits on the training pad. He flinched at her blows, and after she finished, he put it down in favor of a much thicker one. "How come?"

"Because you are the Chosen One," he replied tiredly, as if that should be enough explanation.

"Mm. Just this once I'd like to be the Overlooked One."

"Well, I'm… afraid that is not…" Buffy kicked the pad hard, making Giles stagger back a few steps. "You have responsibilities that other girls do not."

"Oh! I know this one! Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah, blah, bity blah, I'm so stuffy, gimme a scone."

"It's as if you know me." He sounded so unamused under that oversized pad. She continued kicking, her blows striking harder and harder. "Your secret identity is gonna be difficult enough to maintain while this exchange student is living with you."

"Not with her," Xander felt compelled to remind everyone. "In the same house as her. Am I the only one who's objective enough to make that distinction?"

"Funny, because I feel like you're the only one who isn't," Jesse replied, not looking up from his geometry.

Buffy ignored them. "So! I think going to the dance like a normal person would be the best way to keep that secret. Giles, come on, budge! No one likes a non-budger."

Giles didn't say a word. Especially fed up, she stepped back and came at him for an especially hard kick. His eyes widened in alarm, and he cried out, "FINE!" She stopped her kick at the last instant, and in a much quieter voice, he uttered, "Go."

Buffy smiled cheerfully. "Yay! I win!"

Defeated, Giles limped away to his office. "I'll just go and introduce my shoulder to an icepack," he muttered.

With the training sesh wrapped up at long last, Jesse and Xander rose from the table triumphantly. "All right, we are a quartet once more," said Jesse. "Now we just gotta figure out transport."

"I think I can get my mom's car," said Xander, "so I'm WheelMan."

Buffy tilted her head. "I thought you were taking Willow."

"Well, yeah, I'm gonna take Willow, but I'm not gonna take Willow," he explained. "In the sense of 'take me'. See, with you two, we're four and everybody's safe. Even if there were just three of us, it would be fine. Without you guys, we're two."

Jesse smirked. "So did you only become friends with me to keep Willow from getting the wrong idea?"

Buffy nodded knowingly. "Two means you're in Dateville. Romance, flowers…"

"Lips," Xander nodded, his expression unfavorable.

Out of her peripheral vision, Buffy could see Willow coming into the library, but the boys hadn't noticed yet. "Oh, come on. In all the years you've both known Willow, neither of you ever thought about her lips?"

Jesse thought about his answer for a moment. "Willow… She's a fine girl, what a good wife she would be, but my life, my love, my lady is the sea." Everyone stared blankly at him until he shrugged. "Also, I get more of a sister vibe from her."

Buffy could see Willow look amused at that, so she turned her attention to Xander expectantly.

Xander smiled awkwardly. "Buffy, I love Willow," he said, and she could see the other girl smile widely. "And she's my best friend. Which makes her not the kind of girl who I think about her lips that much." Willow's smile faded to disappointment. "She's the kind of girl that… I'm best friends with."

Jesse nodded thoughtfully. "Well, we've all been there. Just means when she does meet the right guy, it'll be all the more special," he swooned, leaning his head on Xander's, who pushed him away.

Willow chose that moment to make herself known. "Hey guys."

They turned to see her and smiled. "Willow!" Xander said cheerfully. "Hi! We were just talkin' about happy things." He put an arm around her and pulled her over to Buffy and Jesse at the table. "Like the four of us going to the dance together. See? Happy!" It occurred to him that Willow wasn't smiling. "Not happy."

Willow managed to snap herself out of her own upset to focus on a different one. "No. Uh, oh, y-yes. No. Rodney's missing."

Giles came out of his office with an ice pack on his shoulder. "Trouble with Mr. Munson again?" he asked, having caught the tail end of the conversation. Even he knew about him. Rodney had a reputation of the negative kind around here.

"His parents say he never came home last night," Willow explained.

Buffy frowned. "Y'know, I don't think I remember seeing Rodney on the bus back from the field trip."

"Ditto," said Jesse. "Knowing him, he probably landed himself in some sort of buffoonery at the museum."

Xander chuckled. "Hey, maybe he awakened the mummy."

"Right, and it rose from its tomb," giggled Willow.

"And attacked him," Buffy laughed.

They chuckled over this for a few moments until they remembered they lived on the Hellmouth, and it occurred to them that might not be so far-fetched.

Within an hour, they walked up into the Natural History Museum, and they found the sarcophagus right where they'd left it. "On the other hand," suggested Willow, "maybe Rodney just stepped out for a smoke."

Jesse looked disbelieving. "Since yesterday?"

"It's addictive, you know."

"We'll deal with that when we've… ruled out evil curses," said Giles as they climbed the steps to the platform where the coffin sat on display.

Buffy shook her head. "One day, I'm gonna live in a town where evil curses are just generally ruled out without even saying."

They stood over the casket and peered inside. "There was a seal?" asked Giles.

Buffy stepped up to the coffin and looked in, and she saw the scattered remains. "It was right here," she said, reaching inside and picking up the biggest piece. "And it's broken."

"Does that mean the mummy's loose?" asked Willow.

"No, comfy as ever."

She handed the piece to Giles, who examined it, but he couldn't make out the inscriptions. The one language he couldn't speak, it would seem. "Look at this series of pictograms."

As if he'd just popped out of thin air, a man – who seemed to be of Peruvian origins – came running out of nowhere, yelling at the top of his voice. He jumped up behind Xander and swung at him with a knife, but Xander ducked the blow and got behind him. The man swung back the other way again blindly, just barely avoiding Buffy as she lunged at him. He looked into the coffin, the look of shock he wore said he did not expect what it contained. Xander jumped onto the man's back during his distraction, but he knocked Xander off and ran away without a backward glance.

Jesse helped Xander to his feet. "Well, that was… a thing that just happened," he said, looking after the man in bemusement.

Xander dusted himself off. "I just saved us, right?"

"Something did," said Buffy. The room had gone quiet, the man's footsteps long gone, and it felt as though it had never happened. Kind of like a sneeze, she thought absently.

With the excitement seemingly over, Giles held up the broken seal fragment. "Well, we'll fret about the details later. Let's just get out of here before he comes back."

They all started to hurry down the steps to leave except Willow, who'd noticed something about the mummy. "Giles, were the Incas very advanced?"

The Watcher stopped in confusion. "Yes, yes, very."

"Did they have orthodontists?" she asked quietly.

Realizing she may have found something significant, they walked back up to the casket, and they peered down at the mummy. The mouth was open, and they could see metal braces on the teeth.

They returned from the library, still reeling from what they'd seen. Even if they hadn't liked the guy, even Xander and Jesse couldn't crack about such a terrible fate.

"Rodney looked like he had been dead for five hundred years," said Willow. "How could that be?"

"Maybe we should ask that crazy man with the big old knife," suggested Xander.

"Let's not," said Jesse, still a little shaken. "He looked about ready to slice and dice us to serve us in a people salad."

Willow stayed on the topic. "The way he bolted when he saw Rodney, I'd say he was as freaked as we were."

Giles took the broken seal fragment out of his pocket and looked it over. "My resources on this subject are extremely limited. I gather that this particular mummy was from the Sabancaya region of eastern Peru. It's very remote. Now, if there's an answer, then it's, it's locked in the…"

"In the seal," Buffy finished. She could tell how difficult it would be to translate it with some of the pieces missing, but it was literally all they had to work with right now. And man, why did she have this weird feeling she'd forgotten something? She wracked her brain to remember.

Giles continued to examine the seal. "It's going to take me weeks to… translate these pictograms. Well, we'll start tonight with…"

The forgotten memory suddenly went off in Buffy's head like a firecracker. "Ampata!" she exclaimed.

"I was gonna suggest hunting," Giles said, confused.

"No, I'm late! I told my mom I'd pick him up!" she explained, already picking up her things that she'd just set down.

Xander immediately took issue with this. "Uh-uh-uh, Buffy? Where are your priorities? Tracking down a mummifying killer or making time for some Latin lover whose stock in trade is the breakage of hearts?"

Buffy refused to be swayed. "Ampata's there alone. And I don't know how good his English is. He's here from South A…" She could almost feel the lightbulb turn on over her head as she realized. "South America. Hey, y'know, maybe he could translate the seal!"

"Oh, yeah," Xander snarked. "Fall for the old 'let me translate that ancient seal for ya' come on – ow!"

Jesse's finger and thumb gripped Xander's ear and gently tugged him towards the door after the girls. "Come on, Xander – let's play nice with the South American heartthrob."

The hydraulic brakes hissed, and the bus drove away, leaving Ampata Gutierrez standing on the pavement with only some luggage and the clothes on his back. He looked out into the night air, not sure where his ride was. He'd only seen a picture of Buffy Summers, but she was pretty enough, he was sure he'd be able to spot her. She didn't seem to be here. Maybe she was running late.

"Ampata…"

He looked up at someone calling his name. It sounded like a woman. Was it Buffy? He grabbed his things and started walking in the direction of the voice. He passed several parked buses, peering between them for whoever called him.

"Ampata…!" the voice called again.

Definitely his name. Smiling with relief that someone was looking for him, he walked between two buses, looking around for whoever called him. "Hello?"

He saw… something coming toward him. It almost looked human, except it also looked like a monster. His mouth fell open in shock, but he couldn't summon a scream or a yell for help. It reached out, grabbed him by the neck, pulled him in and kissed him. Feeling himself shrivel and dry up, he felt oddly at peace as he slipped into oblivion.

Walking through a deserted bus station at this late hour was not how Buffy pictured this meeting going. She only hoped Ampata would be forgiving. "Forty minutes late. Welcome to America!"

"What if he left already?" worried Willow. She tried the door on the station building, but it didn't budge – locked.

"God help him if he tried to get a cab," sighed Jesse, peering through the shadows for any signs of life.

Buffy tried calling out. "Ampata? Ampata Gutierrez?"

As she went on ahead, Xander, Jesse and Willow followed shortly behind. "So, do we have to speak Spanish when we see him?" asked Xander, trying a little harder to be less jealous of the poor guy. "Because I don't know anything much besides Doritos and Chihuahua."

"Don't you know, Xander?" asked Jesse playfully. "Everyone on Earth can speak English. You just have to speak it slowly and loudly enough."

Buffy called out again. "Ampata?"

"Here!" a voice called back. They all froze. That was most definitely not a male voice. A young teenage girl came walking out from between two buses with some luggage and a polite smile. She looked absolutely stunning in the street light. "Hello," she said politely, approaching them with a shy air about her. "I am Ampata."

Buffy stared blankly. She had not been expecting this. She looked back at her friends. Judging from the way Xander and Jesse's mouths were hanging open, neither had they.

"Ay caramba! I can also say that!" breathed Xander, clearly smitten.

It wasn't super late, so her friends accompanied them to Buffy's house, joining her in introducing Ampata to her mother and showing her around. The new girl took everything in with wide-eyed fascination, still largely quiet but also enjoying being around them. Maybe this wouldn't be a total trainwreck after all.

"Dining room…," Buffy said, guiding her from room to room. "And this," she said, flipping on the light, "is the kitchen."

Ampata looked amazed. "It's very good!"

"Yeah, you got your stove, your fridge, it's fully functional. We're very into it."

Xander, for some reason, spoke to her in a slow and over-pronounced tone. "Would you like a drink?" he asked, miming drinking from a glass.

Amused, Buffy opened the fridge and peered inside. "Uh, let's see, we've got milk, and, uh, oh, older milk… Juice?"

"Please," Ampata smiled.

While Buffy poured glasses for everyone, the others took a seat around the table, all somewhat stumped for anything conversational to say. "So, Ampata," Willow said at last. "You're a girl."

Ampata smiled bemusedly. "Yes. For many years now."

"We were just caught off-guard because the profile said you were more of the male persuasion," clarified Jesse. "But we're nothing if not open minded!"

Xander shrugged cheerfully. "It's just one of those crazy mix-ups, Jess!"

Buffy set out the glasses in front of everyone. "So, have you ever been to America before?"

Ampata's expression went blank for a second – probably a translation issue. "Uh, I, I have toured."

Xander continued to speak in slow English. "Where did… you go?"

His friends looked on in amusement as they poured juice and got some snacks out. Ampata, for her part, seemed to take it in stride. "I was taken to Atlanta, Boston, New York."

Willow lit up. "New York! That's exciting. What was that like?"

Ampata smiled awkwardly. "I did not see so much."

"Your English is… very bueno," said Xander.

Jesse rolled his eyes. "Xander, I was kidding earlier," he said quietly. Buffy and Willow giggled while Xander looked between them and Ampata in confusion.

Ampata smiled. "I listened much."

"Well, that works out well, because I talk much," Xander smiled, speaking normally that time. Everyone had a good laugh.

Joyce had originally planned to put Ampata in the study when she thought she'd be a boy, but since it turned out they were gender equivalent or whatever, she decided to have them bunk together in Buffy's room. Buffy found this out literally a minute before bedtime. She felt wary about having a stranger share a room with her, even if the stranger seemed nice enough, but she didn't want her finding her Slayer materials by accident.

Still, she tried to be a charming hostess as she helped her with the bathroom, and then got her set up on the spare bed. She came in from the hallway, finally in her pajamas, and found Ampata sitting on the bed, looking surprised at the bounciness of it. "Hey! Sorry about the teeniness of the room."

Ampata smiled, unbothered. "My old one was much smaller."

Well, at least she could roll with the inconvenient punches. "What's it like back home?" Buffy asked as she sat down on her bed.

"Cramped, and… very dead."

"Well, you'll feel right at home in Sunnydale."

But Ampata seemed to brighten as she took in the room. "Oh, no! But… but you have so much here!" she insisted. She picked up a picture from the bedside table – of Buffy grinning along with Willow, Jesse and Xander, the latter of whom had taken the picture with his arm outstretched, and Jesse had just said 'fart noise' to make them all laugh on cue. She smiled at the memory, but a thought occurred to her as she saw Ampata admiring it.

"How about friends?" she asked.

The light in Ampata's eyes dimmed a little. "They are…" She trailed off, slowly putting the picture down. "It is just me."

Buffy didn't like to think of the implications of that sentence, so she decided to try and steer things to the bright side of life. "I've been there," she said. "But, hey! You'll meet lots of people tomorrow."

Ampata's smile returned gratefully. "Thank you," she said, going back to her bed. "You must teach me everything about your life. I want to fit in, Buffy. Just like you. A normal life."

Buffy smiled uneasily. "One normal life. Comin' up." She reached over to turn off her light. It would be difficult but not impossible. She could hopefully keep her Slayer duties separate from hosting for two weeks. Maybe the guys could help with that.

With some help from his bandmate, Sam, Oz lifted a large bass drum with the logo Dingoes Ate My Baby emblazoned on the front into his trusty van. For a band that was only a few months old, it was impressive they'd already gotten a logo at all, so to have it on their equipment was nothing short of thrilling. Not that Oz ever expressed that thrill.

He barely looked up as he heard the voice of Cordelia Chase coming down the stairs of the school, talking in her usual manner with the lead singer of the group, Devon MacLeigh. He'd been dating Cordelia for a while now. How long, Oz couldn't recall. It seemed she'd just kind of popped into their lives one day, and he'd decided to simply accept it and carry on.

"Devon," she was saying, "I told you I'd be at the dance tonight, but I am not one of your little groupies. I won't be all doe-eyed looking up at you, standing at the edge of the stage."

"Got it," Devon replied reasonably.

"So, I'll see you afterwards?"

"Sure. Where do you wanna meet?"

"I'll be standing at the edge of the stage."

"With that guy?"

Oz glanced up and saw another figure not too far away, watching them. He seemed nice enough, towering over them all with a flat expression. He reminded Oz of a Swedish version of Lurch from The Addams Family – he could dig it.

But Cordelia, evidently, did not. She called out to the guy, "Sven! Momento! Needa!" before readdressing Devon. "This whole student exchange thing has been a horrible nightmare. They don't even speak American. So, I'll see you later?" She allowed him a kiss on the cheek. "Bye!" She started back up the stairs toward the school, but she turned back when she noticed that Sven didn't follow. "Sven! Come?" He obeyed, walking after her.

Devon smirked and went over to Oz. "Oz, man! What do you think?"

"Of what?"

"Cordelia, man!"

"She's a wonderland tour," Oz replied amiably, still focused on loading equipment.

"You gotta admit, the girl is hot!"

"Yeah, she's a hot girl."

Devon rolled his eyes as he started helping. "Let me guess: not your type? What does a girl have to do to impress you?"

"Well, it involves a feathered boa and a theme to 'A Summer Place'. I can't discuss it here."

"You're too picky, man. Do you know how many girls you could have? You're lead guitar, Oz. It's currency!"

"I'm not picky. You're just impressed by any pretty girl that can walk and talk."

"She doesn't have to talk," said Devon innocently.

Oz just smirked. Devon was a good guy, really, but any girl could turn his head. He hadn't felt anything strongly towards anyone of the female persuasion in a while, and he was content to just enjoy being the guitarist for a while and improving his craft.

Xander walked with Willow and Jesse towards the school building. It was the start of a new day, and that day reminded him in the form of obnoxious banners that the World Culture Dance was coming up.

"I worked really hard on my costume," Willow said brightly. "It's pretty cool."

Jesse shrugged amiably. "I just dug around some thrift stores. I gotta be creative on a budget."

"Okay, but what about me?" asked Xander agitatedly. "I've gotta think."

"Well, it's a celebration of cultures," said Willow. "There are lots of dress-up alternatives."

"And a corresponding equal number of mocking alternatives. All aimed at me."

"Stick with us, kid," chuckled Jesse. "We'll all be mocked as a team."

"Nope – not this time! There's gotta be a cool culture I can dress up as."

"Bavarians are cool," suggested Willow.

Xander made a face while Jesse turned away to suppress a growing grin. "Okay, no shirts with ruffles, no hats with feathers and definitely no lederhosen. They make my calves look fat."

"Women get all the flattering Bavarian outfits," Jesse sighed. "Will – you and Buffy should wear those big dresses and do your hair up in those braided pigtails that curl up like pot handles."

Willow scrunched up her face in response before turning back to Xander. "Why are you suddenly so worried about looking like an idiot?" Her eyes widened at her latest faux pas. "That came out wrong."

But Xander barely heard the accidental insult. His brain went a million miles away as he spotted a busy-looking Buffy arriving for school with Ampata, who looked just as gorgeous as she had last night. She looked a little nervous at being in a new location, but he hoped she would feel at home soon.

To his eternal credit, Giles had the common decency to smile at Ampata and shake her hand when he first met her rather than immediately asking her to translate the seal. "How do you do?"

"Hi," she smiled back.

"I was wondering if you could, um, translate this?" he said, making it the second thing he did instead.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "That was in no way awkward." While Giles looked vaguely apologetic, Ampata took the seal fragment and looked at it in disbelief. "Something wrong?"

"Uh, no!" she said abruptly. "Uh, it is… Uh, why are you asking me?"

Giles looked just a little bit embarrassed – probably realizing maybe they'd been a bit presumptuous in their request. "It's, well, it's an artifact," he explained, "from, uh, your… region. It's, uh, from the tomb of an Incan mummy, actually. We were trying to translate it, uh…," he trailed off as they realized they hadn't thought of a cover story for this yet, "um, as a project for our, um…"

"Our archeology club," Willow said abruptly.

Relieved, Giles nodded approvingly at her. "Very good."

Ampata turned the fragment over in her hands. "It is broken. Where are the other pieces?"

"Somebody smashed it before we got there," said Jesse. "That was the biggest piece."

Nodding, Ampata looked it over thoughtfully. "Hmm. It is very old and valuable." She held it out to Giles. "You should hide it!"

Startled by her suggestion, Giles didn't take it. "Is, uh, anything you recognize here? Um, this, um… this chap here with the knife, for instance?"

Ampata looked at it again. If anything, she looked like she wanted to get rid of the seal, but she seemed to along with his request. "Well, I do not know exactly, but… I think this represents, I believe the word is… 'bodyguard'?"

Giles finally took the seal back, intrigued. "Bodyguard? Interesting."

"Legend has it that he guards the mummy against those who would disturb her."

"Well, uh, yes, well, that's, um, that's a very good starting point for our, um… club," he said, glancing at Buffy.

Taking the hint, she continued the narrative. "Oh, and, uh, as club president, I have, um, lots to do. Lots of… stuff. Dull stuff. Uh, oh, Willow, maybe you could…"

Xander promptly cut in. "Stay with Ampata for the day? I'd love to." He bowed slightly and smiled.

Ampata lit up. "Yes! That will be fun."

Xander gestured for Ampata to go ahead of him. As she walked out, he turned to friends, let out a breath he'd been holding, and followed her.

"Right," said Giles, relieved to go back to somewhat normal. "I'll continue with the translation. Buffy, Jesse, you research this bodyguard thing, and, uh, Willow… Willow?" They all turned to see Willow staring wistfully after Xander and Ampata.

"Boy," she said quietly. "They really like each other."

Xander's mission to entertain Ampata took them out to the football field. He really couldn't believe they'd gone almost two hours without her rolling her eyes or mocking him in any way, shape or form. This girl really was too good to be true.

Sitting up in the bleachers over the empty field, he reached into his satchel to show her something. "And this," he said with the flair of a cheesy game show host, "is called a snack food." He held up a Twinkie.

"Snack food?" she repeated.

"Yeah. It's a delicious, spongy, golden cake stuffed with a delightful creamy, white substance of goodness. And here's how you eat it." He stuffed the whole thing into his mouth. Ampata laughed at the sight. "Mm-hm," he said triumphantly.

"Oh, but now I cannot try it," Ampata smiled, in a tone that indicated she was only pretending to be disappointed.

Not one to let a lady down, Xander held up a second one. "That's why you bring two," he said, handing it to her.

Smiling, Ampata took a moment to study it. "Here goes!" she said determinedly. She pulled her windswept hair back from her face and proceeded to stuff most of the Twinkie into her mouth. She laughed with delight, almost spitting it out in the process.

"Good, huh?" grinned Xander, his mouth still full. "And the exciting part is that they have no ingredients that a human can pronounce. So it doesn't leave you with that heavy food feeling in your stomach."

She squealed with laughter as she tried to chew. "You are strange."

Xander nodded in concession as he managed to finally swallow his snack down. "Girls always tell me that. Right before they run away."

She shook her head cheerfully. "I like it!"

A bit surprised by the admission and the beautiful Twinkie-filled smile, he beamed. "I like you like it!" As she continued to laugh, a thought occurred to him. "Please, don't learn from my English."

The library had been quiet for almost an hour now. Giles had retreated to his office to check on a few things, leaving Buffy with Willow and Jesse around the table. Jesse had some books out and looked between the seal and the passages he read, while Buffy inspected the seal under a magnifying lamp.

"Ha!" she said triumphantly.

Jesse looked up in surprise. "Did you find it?"

"Yes!" She paused. "Possibly. I think."

"Maybe that 'ha' was premature."

"Might've been. Hey, Will – do you think this matches?"

Despite having a book in front of her and usually being the first one to go all in on a research party, Willow was off in her own world today, idly playing with her stuffed frog.

"Yo! Will!" said Jesse, reaching out and waving a hand in her field of vision.

She jumped to attention, eyes wide and pretending she hadn't just sat there for over an hour. "Oh! Yes. I'm caring about mummies," she said brightly.

Buffy smiled sympathetically. "Ampata's only staying two weeks."

Her fake smile wilting, Willow nodded and slumped back in her chair. "Yeah. And then Xander can find someone else who's not me to obsess about. At least with you, I knew he didn't have a shot."

Jesse sighed – a sigh he had obviously been holding in for a long time where Willow's crush on Xander was concerned. "Will, I hate to say this, but… it may be time to admit the 'wait around for Xander to notice me' plan might not be working," he said as kindly as he could.

Willow nodded, trying to put on a brave face. "Well, you know, I have a choice. I can spend my life waiting for Xander to go out with every other girl in the world until he notices me, or I can just get on with my life."

"And which one are you choosing?" Jesse asked knowingly.

Her expression turned downcast again. "Oh, I have to choose now?"

Before they could continue the discussion, Giles suddenly made himself known, exclaiming, "Good Lord!" He'd exited his office at some point in the conversation and started looking between Buffy's book and the seal. "Good work!"

Buffy looked startled before she realized he was talking to her. "My work?"

"Yes. This is most illuminating. It seems Rodney's killer might be the mummy."

Delighted, Buffy grinned at Jesse. "See? My 'ha' was right on point."

"Congratulations," he replied amusedly.

"Where does it say that?" Willow asked Giles.

Giles pointed at the pictograms as he spoke. "Well, here. It implies that the mummy is capable of… feeding on the life force of a person, effectively freeze drying them, you might say. Extraordinary."

"I take it that's why Rodney's face was all wizened and in need of moisturizer," said Jesse.

"So," said Buffy, already trying to put together a plan in her head, "then we just have to stop the mummy. Which leads to the question: how do we a) find, and b) stop the mummy?"

"Well, the answer to that is somewhere still in here," said Giles. "Or in the rest of the seal."

Xander couldn't quite recall what had been the transition from one event to the other. One minute, he had been laughing and joking with Ampata, happily enjoying her company, and within a second later, the crazy guy from the museum attacked them with his large knife from under the bleachers. Ampata screamed as they quickly moved apart and the knife hit the seat between them.

"You stole the seal! Where is it?!" he shouted.

He swung again, but Xander scooted back more and then rolled down two levels of seats. The knife guy came at him again and tried to stab him, but Xander caught his arm and stopped him.

Ampata screamed again, and the man locked eyes with her, momentarily stopping his attack, but for seemingly not good reasons. "It is you!"

Taking advantage of the distraction, Xander kicked him off, and he rolled down the bleachers and to the ground. Ampata grabbed his satchel, helped him up and they ran away.

Once in the relative safety of the library, Giles quickly made Ampata a cup of tea, which he set on the table in front of her.

"Why's this guy so into us?" wondered Willow. "I mean, what's he want?"

"He said, 'Give me the seal'," Xander shrugged.

Giles picked up the seal fragment. "Apparently this is more popular than we realized. I just don't know what we should do with it."

"Destroy it," Ampata said bluntly. "If you do not, someone could die."

But Giles shook his head. "I'm afraid someone already has."

Her eyes widened. "You mean the man with the knife killed someone?"

Buffy shifted awkwardly. "Uh, no. Well, not exactly."

"You are not telling me everything."

Xander sat down next to her. "You're right, Ampata," he said, taking her hand in his in an effort to calm her. "And it's time we do. We're not an archeology club. We're in, uh…" He paused, seeing the others look at him in alarm. "We're in the crime club," he said, causing everyone to give a sigh of relief. "Which is kinda like the chess club, only with crime, and, um… no chess."

Jesse nodded in agreement. "The first rule about Crime Club is we do not talk about Crime Club… unless there's a crime to talk about."

Fortunately, Ampata seemed to buy it. "Please understand me. That seal nearly got us killed. It must be destroyed!" She got up and ran from the library.

After a moment's hesitation, Xander got up and ran out after her. He quickly found her sitting on a bench, wringing her hands as she stared off into space. Approaching as delicately as he could, he crouched down beside her.

"Ampata, listen to me. Nobody's gonna hurt you. I won't let them."

She looked at him imploringly. "Your investigation is dangerous. I do not want that. Just normal life!" She got up and went over to the drinking fountain. Xander stood back up and started to follow her, but he stopped himself. She needed some space, and his needling wouldn't make it better. He stayed back and let her drink.

Willow came up alongside. "Is she okay?"

"Wigged," Xander sighed. "I'm tryin' to convince her that our lives aren't just danger and peril around here."

Willow looked over at Ampata sympathetically, then back to Xander. "You should take her to the dance."

Xander looked surprised by the suggestion, but he smiled approvingly. "That's a good idea! We'll all go!"

"No, I mean just you."

"But you were psyched! And your costume!"

She smiled wanly. "I'll see you there."

After a moment, he smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Will. You're the best, you know that?" He went over to Ampata, not noticing Willow's smile fall again as he went.

"I don't get it," muttered Buffy as she, Jesse and Giles stood over the seal fragment. "Why would the bodyguard have such a jones for a broken piece of rock?"

"Well, um, perhaps…," suggested Giles, "he needs to put it together with the other pieces."

"If he has them. I mean, we didn't find them."

Jesse made a noise. "I wonder…," he murmured.

"Wonder what?" asked Buffy.

"I wonder… and this is a big 'what if' I'm about to put out there, but… what if we're all wrong about Knife Guy? Xander said he was looking for the seal, like maybe he thought we stole it. And the seal getting busted is what woke up the mummy, right?"

"I would assume so, yes," said Giles.

"Then… he's attacking us because he thinks we're the ones who broke the seal and woke up the mummy. Maybe if we try to talk to him – like, y'know, regular normal knifeless people – maybe he can help us track the mummy. Kinda like we did with Sid the Dummy." He frowned briefly. "'Dummy'... 'mummy'..."

Giles actually looked impressed. "A sound notion, for certain."

Jesse smirked. "Don't sound so surprised. I have them from time to time."

"So," said Buffy, "maybe we should go to the museum and find the other pieces. And odds are he'll show up, too, right?"

"And hopefully we'll be ready," nodded Giles.

Buffy beamed. "Hey! Look at us! We came up with a plan. A good plan."

"Alright," said Giles, picking up the seal to tuck away. "We'll meet there tonight after it closes."

Buffy's expression fell. "No! Bad plan. I have other plans. Dance plans." She got a stern look from Giles and exhaled. "Canceled plans."

"I could come with you," Jesse offered. "I only paid, like, twenty bucks for my outfit. No major loss."

"No, you should go," Buffy insisted. "If Xander's going with Ampata, I hate to think of Willow all alone."

Xander waited until Ampata had calmed down a little before broaching the subject. As they came down some stairs, he took his chance. "Okay, I have something to tell you. And it's kind of a secret, and it's, um, a little bit scary." Her anxiety seemed to flare, so he hurried on. "I like you. A lot. And I want you to go with me to the dance."

Ampata's anxiety melted away as she smiled. "Why was that so scary?"

Xander shuffled, a bit embarrassed to be putting his feelings on the line here. "Well, because you never know if a girl's gonna say 'yes', or if… she's gonna laugh in your face and pull out your still beating heart and crush it into the ground with her heel." His mind flashed back to last spring and his failed attempt to ask Buffy out, but he put that thought aside – he'd moved on from that (he hoped).

Ampata looked thoughtful. "Then you are very courageous." Then, she leaned in conspiratorially. "Can I tell you a secret?"

He nodded eagerly, unsuspecting.

She smiled again. "I like you, too."

Xander tried to keep his emotional response in check – he wanted to be cool, dammit – but he suspected his resulting grin looked pretty goofy. "Really?"

"Really!" she nodded.

"That's great!" Then, a stab of self-doubt. "Really?"

"Really!"

"That's great!" He paused again. "You're not a praying mantis, are you?" Now she just looked confused, so he waved it off. "Sorry, someone else."

Laughing, she started to pull away from him. "I will return to you," she said.

Another jolt of panic. No – he couldn't part from her now! "Where're you going?"

"Where you cannot follow."

His confusion faded as he saw – the girls' restroom door. "I'll wait outside," he said sheepishly, sitting down on a bench to wait.

Inside the restroom, Ampata touched up her lipstick. Buffy had given her some pointers last night, and she'd helped her find what colors worked best for her. So many to choose from – she wanted to try them all! She stepped back from the mirror to admire her work – and she saw someone definitely not a teenage girl standing behind her in the reflection.

"I beg you…," she said, turning quickly to face him. "Do not kill me."

The Bodyguard's expression remained harsh and unyielding. "You are already dead. For five hundred years."

"But it was not fair! I was innocent!"

"The people you kill now so that you may live, they are innocent."

She felt the tears filling her eyes. She knew he was right, but she couldn't give up this new life. Not when she'd found someone special. "Please! I am in love!"

His expression remained hard, but she could see something almost resembling pity in his eyes. "You are the Chosen One. You must die. You have no choice." He abruptly took a swing at her with his knife. She grabbed his arm and twisted, forcing him around and pulling him into her. He looked up at her as she put her arm around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

"Yes, I do," she hissed.

She kissed him, and he mummified in her arms as she drew out his life force.

Xander waited patiently, his head in the clouds. The girl in that restroom liked him. A nice, kind, normal girl liked him. He could barely comprehend it. It felt almost too good to be true.

The door to the restroom opened, and Ampata stepped out, fixing her hair before fixing her eyes on him. He got to his feet immediately and approached. "I have thought. The dance?"

Xander nodded expectantly.

"I will go with you."

Another big damn goofy smile – damn, he thought. So much for looking cool. But it only made her own smile big and goofy, too, so maybe they could be goofy grinning idiots together. He took her by the hand, and they walked off down the hall.

Buffy thought it a little on the nose that Ampata chose to dress as the Inca Princess, but she had to admit, she looked absolutely stunning in her costume. "Buffy, I do not have any lipstick," she said before her eyes fell on a trunk, a large suitcase and a backpack in the room.

"Oh! You can borrow one of mine. There should be some on the desk," Buffy replied.

"What is that?" she asked, indicating the luggage.

"The station sent the rest of your stuff."

Ampata blinked, as if confused, and then, her eyes widened in realization. "Oh. Of course. I forgot all about it. Uh, I will unpack it later."

"No worries. I can do it."

"Uh, but… you must get ready for the dance!"

Buffy shook her head, still annoyed. "I'm not going."

"Why not?"

"I have work to do," she said quickly. "Crime club work. It's really nothing for you to worry about." She plopped down on the bed, so very put upon. Yes, it was important work she had to do, but it didn't mean she couldn't envy her friends getting to go out and have fun at the thing they'd been looking forward to for weeks.

Ampata smiled as she went to the desk for lipstick. "Oh, I am not worried, thanks to Xander."

"He seems very happy around you."

"I am happy, too." Ampata sat at the desk and opened a lipstick to consider it. "Mm, this one?" she asked, holding it up.

Buffy took one look at it and shook her head. "Ooo, no, that clashes. There should be a gold one in there somewhere."

"Thank you. You are always thinking of others before yourself. You remind me of someone from very long ago: the Inca Princess."

"Cool! A princess!" Buffy beamed as she got up from the bed and opened Ampata's backpack while she tried on the lipstick.

"They told her that she was the only one. That only she could defend her people from the nether world."

Buffy pulled out a pair of boy's briefs and stared at them, thrown for a loop. Mercifully, they were clean, but what on earth…?

"Out of all the girls in her generation…," Ampata continued, " … she was the only one…"

Buffy looked over at Ampata and saw her about to open the top left drawer where she kept her Slayer stuff. She rushed over. Ampata pulled open the drawer and looked in curiously, but Buffy quickly pushed the drawer closed. " … chosen," she finished for her.

Ampata looked up at her curiously. "Do you know the story?"

"It's fairly familiar," Buffy replied, handing her the gold lipstick.

"She was sixteen, like us. She was offered as a sacrifice and went to her death. Who knows what she had to give up to fulfill her duty to others? What chance at love?"

"Who knows?" Buffy sighed wistfully. Relieved, she went back to Ampata's trunk. "I'll just unpack the rest of your stuff for you."

"No, really, let me…," Ampata started, but just as Buffy had the lid open on the trunk, she heard the doorbell ring, and she let it shut again.

"Oh! That'll be the guys! I'll get it!" She hurried down the stairs to the front door, and she found Xander, wearing a poncho and squinting with a little cigar clenched between his teeth – not unlike Clint Eastwood in a spaghetti western.

"I've come for the dance!" he said.

Buffy grinned a little. "And, uh, what culture are you?"

"I'm from the country of Leone. It's in Italy pretending to be Montana." He looked her up and down, taking in her sweats. "And where are you from? The country of White Trash?"

"Mm. New line-up. You, Jesse and Willow are taking Ampata. Giles and I are hunting mummies. Where's Jesse and Willow?

"They're not coming… with us."

"Oh! On a date. Romance, lips…" Well, she would have to hope Jesse would look after Willow. If things with Xander and Ampata got more serious, maybe Willow would finally move on.

Xander's eyes looked past her, and he took off his hat when he saw Ampata appear on the stairs – with non-clashing lipstick. She smiled down at him.

"Hello, Xander."

Xander's mouth and brain seemed to be having a disagreement over how to greet her. "Hho hee ze thee ai uh…"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "I can translate American salivating boy talk. He says you're beautiful."

"Hyav su," said Xander gratefully.

"You're welcome."

Ampata reached the bottom of the stairs and stood next to Xander, beaming a huge smile.

Joyce came in to have a look. "Ampata, don't you look wonderful! Oh, I wish you could talk my daughter into going with you."

"I tried, but she is very stubborn."

"Well, I'm glad someone else sees that."

Mother and daughter exchanged playfully annoyed looks before smiling at the happy couple again. Exchanging pleasantries, Buffy opened the door to let them out.

Xander paused for a moment. "Be careful," he said quietly.

"I will," she replied. As he turned to go, she added, "You look good."

Xander gave her a smile and then left with Ampata.

Joyce came over to the door to watch them go, too. "Look at that. Two days in America, and Ampata already seems like she belongs here. She's really fitting in," she said before turning and heading up the stairs.

"Yeah. How 'bout that?" Buffy murmured.

Jesse bobbed his head to the music as he got a couple of sodas from the bar. He'd heard good things about Dingoes Ate My Baby. They'd only just gotten started, but they could jam with the best of them. He vaguely knew of the lead singer, Devon – he was Cordelia's latest boyfriend. He'd lost track of how many she'd had lately, she cycled through the popular boys fairly quickly. The last time she'd talked about him, she'd started slipping in passive aggressive quips about him, so that probably meant they had another three weeks or so left. A little perturbed he knew her dating habits that well, he put his money on the bar and took the two drinks to his table.

He got a few whistles on the way, and he just winked playfully back. He didn't care what anybody thought – this kilt felt very freeing. He set the drinks down and took a seat. "Aye, lassie, the finest root beer this side of… Caledonia, I guess," he said in a fumbled Scottish accent.

Willow smiled awkwardly as she took hers. She couldn't really move her arms that well in her enormous Eskimo costume. "Thanks, Jess," she sighed, finally giving up on actually grasping the damn thing and just relying on the straw.

Through the crowd, he spotted Cordelia and some of her friends coming in, all dressed up. She was wearing a Hawaiian grass skirt, complete with coconut bra and a lei of flowers. Her eyes fell on the pair of them, and her face acquired that sneer it often did. "Oh! Near faux pas!" she said, looking Willow up and down. "I almost wore the same thing." She eyed Jesse. "And you… Your parents let you go out in that thing?"

Jesse stuck his nose up in the air. "Miss Chase, you wish you could carry this look as well as me." Cordelia made a face like she couldn't decide to laugh or snipe at him, so he took advantage of her momentary loss for words and switched topics. "Where's your exchange hunk, by the way?"

Clearly needing to unload for a second, Cordelia immediately engaged 'gripe mode'. "Ohhh, I keep trying to ditch him. He's like one of those dogs that you leave at the Grand Canyon on vacation? It follows you back across four states." On cue, Sven walked up, dressed as a Viking. "See? My own speechless, human boomerang."

"Not that big on the small talk?" asked Willow.

"Small talk? How 'bout simple instruction?" She looked up at Sven, a condescending look one might give a two-year-old. "Get punchy," she said slowly, pointing at him. "You! Fruit drinky!"

Jesse and Willow exchanged amused glances. Where Cordelia saw a vacuous hulking mass, they saw barely concealed irritation. Jesse merely raised his drink to him in commiseration. It was not always easy being Cordelia Chase's company. Sven simply nodded back to him and wandered off to the refreshment table where many of Cordy's lady friends gazed at him adoringly.

Then, he could see Xander and Ampata arrive – one as a cowboy, and the other as a princess. He could see them wearing hands, looking at everything with delight and getting plenty of attention from the crowd.

Willow saw the other girl's outfit and glanced down at her oversized parka. "I think I should've worn something sexy," she muttered miserably.

Jesse shook his head. "Will, I can say with all sincerity – you are the hottest Eskimo I've ever seen."

She smiled a little, but then, Xander spotted them and led Ampata over to her table, and she turned all awkward again. "Wow. You guys look great."

Ampata gave her costume an approving look. "I love your costume. It's very authentic."

"Thanks."

"Yeah, you look, um… snug," said Xander. "And Jesse – you didn't shave your legs?"

Jesse snorted. "Let me tell ye somethin' aboot the Scots, laddie," he said sternly. "They have an event where they pick up a hundred pound twenty foot long stick and see how far they can throw it! They're badass enough, they're free to wear a wee skirt!" He switched back to his normal voice. "And don't ask me to give the engines more power. I already used up all my Scotty jokes on the way over."

"I almost told him to take me home," nodded Willow. "Where's Buffy?"

Buffy opened the door, having just gotten dressed a bit more sensibly. Good thing, too, because Giles quickly walked in, indicating there would be business to discuss. "Thank heavens you're home," he said, checking the other rooms to be sure her mom wouldn't overhear.

"Yup!" Buffy said as non-bitterly as she could. "Not at the dance. Not with my friends. Not with a life. What are you doing here? I thought we were gonna meet at the museum to find the bodyguard."

Giles shook his head. "No, he's already been found. In a school restroom. Mummified."

Buffy frowned. "Okay, I don't get it. Why would the mummy kill her own bodyguard?"

"Well, I've cross-referenced, and, uh, I've looked at the pictograms anew. He was a guard alright. But it was his job to ensure that the mummy didn't awaken and escape."

"So… Ampata translated wrong."

"Perhaps," said Giles in a tone that suggested he didn't quite believe that. Buffy wracked her brain for a moment, trying to recall everything they had said and done in front of Ampata since she arrived and if anything in her behavior might give them some kind of clue.

"Hold on a sec. She was wiggy about the seal from minute one."

"Yes, I suppose she was," Giles agreed.

Suddenly, a few pieces snapped together in her head so loudly that she had to run upstairs immediately. "Her trunks!" she cried.

"I beg your pardon?" But begging was useless right now.

Buffy focused on trying to rip the lock off the trunk as Giles dug through Ampata's things. Normally, an icky thing to do, but she'd remembered the male briefs from earlier and a few unfortunate implications had begun to set in.

"It's certainly all boys' clothes," Giles murmured. "Why would a girl pack these?"

With a mighty burst of her mighty Slayer strength, Buffy tore open the lock on the trunk and lifted the lid, coming face-to-face with a wizened old dead body. "How 'bout this one? What kind of girl travels with a mummified corpse? And doesn't even pack a lipstick?"

The band changed gears and made the next song a slow one, allowing all the fancy-dressed couples to move out onto the dance floor for some vertical cuddle sessions. As the dance floor began to fill up, Xander decided to take a chance.

"Do you, um… Would you like to, uh… you know…"

Ampata smiled as she translated his Awkward Boy Talk. "I'd love to dance."

Grinning, he removed his hat and poncho, took her hand and led her onto the dance floor.

Jesse observed them from the dance floor as Xander and Ampata gazed into each other's eyes, swaying to the music. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Xander so smitten. This wasn't the drooling of desire he normally reserved for Buffy – this was something realer. Maybe it was because this girl actually liked him back.

He glanced over at Willow on the other side of the table, watching the dance longingly while also swaying awkwardly in her parka. "You okay?" he asked.

Willow didn't answer. She just watched.

Jesse decided to continue. "Y'know, one day, a guy is gonna see you for the first time, and immediately want to dance with you like that."

She turned to look at him – which took a second because, in the parka, she had to turn her whole body.

"Just because it hasn't happened with Xander doesn't mean it won't happen with anybody. But," he went on, "you're never gonna notice that somebody if you're too busy focusing on Xander. So maybe it's time to… y'know… let go?"

Willow looked like she wanted to cry, but she smiled all the same. "You really think someone's gonna look at me that way?"

"For all we know, he already has," Jesse smiled back, "but he probably hasn't worked up the nerve yet."

"Why not?"

"Well, for one thing, you're sitting here with a totally studly Scotsman. I'm probably too intimidating."

At last, that got a real smile out of her, and she only sniffled a little as she lifted her whole arm up so she could put a hand on his arm fondly. "Thanks, Jess."

"Och aye, lassie," he replied with a wink. "Here's t' movin' on."

Oz attempted to focus on his playing, but he couldn't take his eye off her. "Hey," he called over to Devon. His bandmate came over – it was the interlude at the moment. "That girl. Who is she?"

Devon shrugged. "She's an exchange student. I think she's from South America."

Oz shook his head. "No, not her. The Eskimo!"

But Devon had to go back to continue singing, leaving Oz staring at the girl again. He could also see the guy dressed as a Scotsman sitting next to her, laughing and talking as they both lifted their drinks and clinked them together. Were they a couple? They had a vibe that spoke of a great closeness – but was that a platonic closeness or a romantic closeness?

He needed to focus on playing. He would find out during his break.

Xander couldn't figure out just what had gone wrong. One moment, it had seemed as though he and Ampata were finally going to kiss, and now… not so much. He'd been deeply looking into her eyes as they slow-danced. She'd leaned her head onto his cheek for a moment. Then, she pulled her head back and looked back into his eyes. He got himself ready to lean in for the kiss.

And then, as if the music were on a record and the needle scratched, they lost the moment when Ampata abruptly pulled back, her eyes wide with fear and horror. With the song almost over, he tried to ask what was wrong, but she quickly took her arms off of his shoulders and rushed off.

Xander stared after her, thoroughly confused. At least he could rule out something he said.

Buffy grumbled as Giles' car seemed at odds with his driving. As the gears grinded, she resolved she would one day get him a grown-up car.

Giles simply ignored his vehicle's protests and carried on explaining things. "Unless she gets a continual supply of victims, Ampata will return forever to her frozen mummy state."

"She did say she wanted to meet lots of people," said Buffy.

"And she's going to need to meet another one soon."

"So much for her normal life of fun and dating and…" Her eyes widened. "Xander!"

Realizing the urgency of the matter, Giles tried a little harder to make the car behave, and they mercifully picked up speed as they headed for the Bronze.

"I should've guessed. Remember Ampata wanted us to hide the seal?"

Giles nodded. "And then she wanted us to destroy it becau… Oh wait!"

Buffy sat on tenterhooks as she watched his brain go into overdrive, trying to put together what he'd just discovered. "Uh, waiting…," she prompted.

At last, he spoke. "Well, we already know that the seal was used to contain the mummy. If breaking it freed her…"

Buffy cottoned on. "Reassembling it will trap her!" she finished.

The Bronze came into view, and Giles made a decision. "I'll go to the museum. I'll drop you off. I'll try to piece together the fragments there."

"Okay," agreed Buffy, handing him the seal fragment. "I'll still get Xander. Before he gets smoochy with Mummy Dearest." The car screeched to a halt, and she started to get out.

"Be careful," he warned.

"I will," she assured him. "Besides, I've got the element of surprise. Ampata still doesn't know my secret identity."

Jesse and Willow looked up from their snacks when they saw Xander walking up, looking a little put out. "Have you seen Ampata?" he asked them. In her bulky costume, Willow attempted to shrug, but she couldn't make it noticeable in those thick shoulders. "What was that?"

"I shrugged," she explained.

"Next time you should probably say 'shrug'," Xander grunted, starting to walk off.

Jesse caught his shoulder. "Everything okay?"

"I don't know, man. One minute, everything's great and super romantic, and the next, she's totally wigging about something."

"Want us to help you find her?"

"Nah, you guys enjoy the party for now. If you see her, tell her I'm looking for her."

He took off again, and Willow stared after him. "Sigh," she sighed sadly.

At that moment, Sven walked past with one of Cordelia's friends, chattering on as she listened, enraptured. "I thought this exchange student thing would be a great deal. But look what I got stuck with! 'Momento!' 'Punchy fruity drinky!' Is Cordelia even from this country?"

In a room backstage, Ampata led her latest victim into the shadows. She made sure to keep her arms in the dark, so he would not see the wrinkled decay spreading up them. The boy looked eager but nervous. He was short, dark haired, and kept swallowing as if he might keep nerves at bay by keeping them in his stomach. Maybe no one would miss him. She took off his hat and stroked his hair and cheek.

Jonathan smiled nervously. "Your hands feel kinda… rough." Ampata kept the smile on her face despite this, moving in for a kiss. He pulled back a little, concerned. "Aren't you with Xander?" he asked.

Her eyes stayed firmly on his. "Does it look like I'm with Xander?" She moved in to kiss him.

"Ampata!" They both jumped at Xander's voice.

Jonathon, his morality firmly in the way, pulled away from her and grabbed his hat. "That's my cue to leave," he declared, escaping the impending drama and fleeing the room.

Her hopes and dreams draining away, Ampata could do nothing but stand by the window, looking out. She could hear Xander's footsteps as he came in behind her. "There you are. Why'd you run away?"

She slowly turned to face him, and she saw how earnest he looked – his concern, his love, his confusion, it hurt to hurt him. "Because… I do not deserve you," she said, not quite lying.

His eyebrows rose in surprise. He clearly had not been expecting such an answer. "What, you think that you don't deserve me?" he said, starting to laugh. "Man, I love you!" That only made her feel the shame more intensely, and she shed a few tears, looking up at him sorrowfully. His smile faded. "Are those tears of joy? Pain? Revulsion?" he asked, coming closer.

"I am very happy," she wept. "And very sad."

"Then talk to me. Let me know what's wrong."

"I can't!" she wailed, hugging him and crying into his shoulder.

After a brief moment, his tone turned softer. "Hey, I know why you can't tell me," he said, gently pushing her away to look at her. "It's a secret, right?" She nodded. "And if you told me, you'd have to kill me," he added with a grin.

That only made her cry even harder, and she hugged him tightly.

"Oh! That was a bad joke," he said, quickly amending himself. "And the delivery was off, too. I'm sorry." He pulled back again to look at her properly. "I, uh…" He stroked her hair and face gently. "I'm sorry."

In that moment, she was lost in his eyes, and she forgot all about her curse and what her next actions would mean. She should have pulled back when he leaned in, but she leaned closer instead, and their lips met in the middle. The kiss started gentle yet tentative, and it felt so wonderful, she reached her arm around his head and pulled him closer for a harder kiss.

But then, she felt him stiffen in alarm as she mistakenly began to drain his life force, and Ampata broke off the kiss, letting Xander fall to the floor. "No!" she cried. "I can't." She knelt down and pulled him around so his head lay in her lap. Drained of strength, he took quick short breaths, his eyes still wide in shock from what had just happened. "Xander, I'm so sorry," she whispered soothingly.

And then, she felt it. Abruptly, she felt the freeze-drying making its way up to her elbows, and she knew she had to go. Someone had the seal, and they were putting it back together.

At the museum, Giles read from a book while assembling the seal. "'Incan Cosmology unites the bird head with its paler twin,'' he read. He looked through all the pieces, not sure at first he could make it out in all the smaller bits, but then, he found it rather quickly. He tried it with the big piece, and to his delight, it matched. Perhaps this wouldn't be so difficult after all.

Willow attempted to take a piece off the cheese statue of the Eiffel Tower, but her thick mittens only caused the top part to topple over. Jesse observed from her left side and cheerfully said, "Jenga!" She smiled briefly, but she still wanted some cheese.

All thoughts of cheese left her head though when Buffy came skidding up to them. "Where's Xander?" she asked urgently.

"Looking for Ampata," said Jesse. "Emergency?"

"Major. We need to find him. Ampata's the mummy."

Jesse's eyes widened, but Willow simply said, "Oh." Then, realizing this meant Xander wouldn't be ending up with her any time soon, she smiled. "Good."

The smile fell at a stern look from Jesse. "Bad," he corrected her. "Xander." He readdressed Buffy. "I think I saw him go backstage."

Without a moment to lose, they tore away from the bar.

The band had a break to relax, and Oz knew exactly where he wanted to go. He looked everywhere for that parka, and he finally spotted it at the bar – still next to that Scotsman. They'd been together all night. He wondered if he should even try. Still, even if this didn't go the way he hoped it would, maybe it'd make for an interesting conversation.

So, summoning his courage, he reached out to tap the girl on the back. "Hey, I…" He didn't get any further as the two of them suddenly broke into a sprint towards the backstage with some blonde chick in denim overalls. He smiled, realizing that despite his rotten timing, he still wanted to talk to her. How was he so enraptured? "Who is that girl?" he wondered out loud.

They found Xander on the floor leaning against the wall, still out of it from what had clearly been an attempt on his life force. "Are you okay?" asked Buffy urgently.

Xander looked a million miles away as he vaguely looked between his three friends. "I think so," he said weakly. "Boy, that was some kiss!"

"Where's Ampata?"

Xander took another deep breath before speaking. "She said something about the seal."

Buffy realized immediately. "The seal! Giles! C'mon," she said as she and Willow helped him up.

"What's goin' on?" Xander asked, looking between them.

"He doesn't know?" asked Willow.

"We'll tell him on the way," Jesse said, fishing the car keys out of Xander's pocket. "I'm driving."

The car ride was spent trying to explain it to Xander as he also got his strength back. Jesse probably broke a few traffic laws driving, but whatever, it wasn't his car. They skidded into the parking lot, and everyone jumped out to run inside. Willow had ditched the parka and mittens, allowing her to move like a human being once more.

Xander, however, remained in denial. "No. Giles must've… researched wrong," he insisted.

"Xander, he didn't," Willow said gently.

"But I know Ampata. This can't be. She told me… she said…" His voice trailed off as he realized something – he'd only known Ampata for a couple of days. Even if she genuinely cared for him, he truly knew nothing about her. She could be anybody. He could remember giving that very warning last year to Willow when she met the guy online who turned out to be a demon. While this was worlds away from that situation, he hadn't really known this girl – whose name wasn't even really Ampata.

He looked up from at his friends looking sympathetically at him, and he knew he would have to join them in defeating her. Innocent people – including the real Ampata – had died because of her. He wouldn't let anyone else, least of all Giles, die as well. He nodded decisively, assuring them he was in, and Jesse patted him on the shoulder as he always did to comfort his friends.

Satisfied, Buffy pointed to a third story window. "You guys use the fire escape. I'm going to take a shortcut."

Getting inside proved not very difficult, Buffy mused as she made her way to the exhibit. Museums really ought to ramp up the security a little bit. Still, she made it to the mummy exhibit in record time, arriving just as 'Ampata' yanked Giles from his work and took the seal from his hand, throwing it to the floor, smashing it to pieces. She grabbed him by the neck and lifted him onto the rim of the stone coffin. God, if she kissed him…

"I'll say one thing for you Incan mummies," she said, causing the other girl to look at her. "You don't kiss and tell." She made a long, high leap onto the platform and adopted a fighting stance, ready to kick ass.

'Ampata' actually had the nerve to look betrayed. "Looks like you've been keeping secrets from me!" she said, shoving Giles into the coffin. "You're not a normal girl."

"And you are?" Buffy did a roundhouse kick to Ampata's face and another kick to her side. The other girl barely showed any pain to these blows. She threw a punch, but Ampata showed strength, too, and caught Buffy's fist and swung her around onto the rim of the coffin. She grabbed Buffy's neck and tried to choke her. Buffy headbutted Ampata, making her stagger back. She tried to kick but Ampata ducked it. Dang it, were all Incan princesses this good at fighting?

She lunged for her, and Ampata grabbed her by the shoulder and diverted her into the coffin. She closed the stone lid on the two of them, and everything went dark.

Jesse and Willow had gone on ahead while Xander got himself safely inside from the fire escape. He knew this would be hard, but he needed to stand strong. He had to face her. Maybe he could appeal to her better nature. She wasn't evil – despite the things she did. And if nothing else, well… maybe he could run out the clock on her. Buffy told him she had a limited time.

As he made his way to the exhibit, he heard Willow suddenly make a gagging noise and he ran the rest of the way. He saw Ampata grabbing Willow by the neck and picking her up. He didn't have time to see where Jesse went – he needed to do something now.

"This won't hurt!" Ampata hissed as she moved in to kiss her.

"Let her go!" Xander ordered, calmly walking in. She stopped, still choking Willow – clearly affected by his arrival. "If you're gonna kiss anybody, it should be me."

Ampata's arms wrinkled all the way up her shoulders and to her neck. Only her face still looked as he remembered it. Somehow, seeing her for what she was made this just a bit easier, but the fact she looked at him so forlornly only made his heart ache. "Xander, we can be together," she insisted as she looked at Willow. "Just… just let me have this one."

Xander took a step closer. "That's never gonna happen." He could see past her. Jesse, still in his ridiculous Scottish getup, had entered from the other side and was easing into the room. He could see him doing something with the red-and-black checked sash over his shoulder, but he kept his eyes fixed on Ampata.

"I must do it," she insisted, in pain but still so determined. "I must do it now! Or it is the end for me and for us!" She tried to kiss Willow again, but Xander jumped in to stop her.

"NO!" he shouted, quickly pulling Willow away from her. "You want life? You're gonna have to take mine. Can you do that?"

Ampata looked into his eyes as she considered. Her skin had mummified up to her neck. She looked so scared and confused. But then, all that conflict disappeared, and her eyes became colder as she gave her answer. "Yes!"

She grabbed his neck and tried to pull him to her as he held her away by her arms. He'd barely had a chance to process what she was doing before a flash of plaid raced across his eyes, and he looked behind her at Jesse. He'd taken off the sash over his shoulder and thrown it over her face, blocking her lips from reaching his through the fabric. He pulled hard, and she floundered, shrieking angrily as she tried to get free. Xander watched as Jesse struggled to keep her face bound.

"Thrift store! Six bucks!" he yelled at her, pulling hard. She gave a hard yank on it, and he only barely managed to hold on. "Man, for someone who's been dead five hundred years, this chick is strong!"

During this, Xander could hear a loud pounding sound somewhere. He looked up in time to see the lid on the coffin suddenly pop up, and Buffy climbed out to the rescue. She came up behind Ampata and did one of her jumping kicks – perhaps a little too hard because Ampata split in half right through the waist. In a cloud of dust and bone, she came loose from the sash and collapsed on the ground, the head breaking off of the body as it hit the floor.

Now he could see her face – but it wasn't her face anymore. Just the face of the mummy. He slumped down to the floor, staring at the remains as they settled. He just about registered something happening to his shoulder. He looked and saw Willow rubbing said shoulder, trying to comfort him. He just looked back at the remains, still a million miles away.

He glanced up at Giles, who had also been in the coffin, who looked at the body with morbid fascination, before looking to the others. Jesse recovered his sash, dusting it off and rolling it up – clearly not intending to put it back on. He shared a glance with Buffy before she motioned for them to go. He allowed himself to be helped to his feet, and they guided him out of the exhibit. Not a word was said, nor needed to be said.

The next day, Xander still didn't feel like talking. He'd gone home, showered, slept like a rock, and woke up like usual, and now he wandered the school, having to endure people asking what happened with him and Ampata. He spoke in brief sentences, simply saying it didn't work out and she'd gone back home – which was true, in a sense. Jesse and Willow had been quiet in their interaction with him earlier, with Jesse only mentioning that he burned the sash.

Right now, he walked with Buffy. She'd given her explanations for what she did with the real Ampata and his belongings, and that she'd found a way to inform his family back home, but Xander had only half-listened. Everything from the last few days had simply been too much. She eventually took the hint and just sipped on her soda. After walking with him for a while, she tried offering him some, but he declined.

He found his voice after their fifth period class and they started walking towards their sixth. "I'm really the Fun-Talking Guy today, huh? Sorry."

Buffy smiled in understanding. "That's okay. You don't have to talk."

"I just, present company excluded, I have the worst taste in women of anyone – in the world."

"Ampata wasn't evil," she assured him. "At least, not to start with. And I do think she cared for you."

He could just about buy that. Not everything he'd been through could've been fake. Her tears at the thought of killing him – those had been real. "Yeah, but I think the whole sucking-the-life-out-of-people thing would have been a strain on the relationship," he sighed.

"She got a bad deal," Buffy continued. "She was just a girl and she had her life taken from her. I remember when I heard the prophecy that I was going to die. I wasn't exactly obsessed with doing the right thing."

Xander could see the parallels. No wonder Buffy could sympathize with her. "But you did. You gave up your life."

She smiled at him. "I had you to bring me back."

As they continued to class, Xander felt just a little bit lighter. As they met up with Jesse and Willow for Algebra II, he mused that while this particular romance hadn't worked out, it gave him hope that somewhere out there, he'd find someone who'd smile at him the way the Incan Princess had.