Chapter 13

"...so I think once we can make a Zonko's trip, we should have enough rat tails to test the hair potion again. We should probably also reup on dungbombs while we're there since we're almost out and…"

George was doing everything in his power to pay attention to what his twin was saying, which, up until very recently, had always been an easy task for him to accomplish. It seemed, however, that when it came to Vivian, the rational part of his brain liked to take a backseat and allow the embarrassing, anxious worrier side to take control. That side of him presently had the reins as he frantically scanned the crowd of students pushing their way through the Hogwarts Express carriages, the anxiety in his chest squeezing tighter every time he spotted a head of honey blonde hair that wasn't her's. He was quickly realizing that Hogwarts had an epidemic of blonde girls. Why were there so damn many? And why were none of them the blonde he had been looking for all morning?

"George! Are you listening?" Fred's fingers suddenly snapped in his face, begrudgingly pulling his attention back to whatever his twin had been saying. Try as he might to focus on the present discussion–that really, on any other day would have had no trouble holding his attention–his eyes kept darting around him for any sign of the girl he had spent the entirety of the past two weeks worrying about.

"Of course!" George tried to sound affronted, but he was quite certain that the effect was diminished by the fact that he was only able to meet Fred's eyes for all of five seconds before he went back to searching the crowd.

Fred only rolled his eyes in response, sliding open a compartment door and shoving his bag in the overhead storage. George followed in his distracted haze, stuffing his belongings into the compartment beside Fred's and taking a seat across from his brother.

Despite the fact that the Weasley's had arrived less than ten minutes before the train left the station, the twins had somehow managed to secure an empty compartment in the third car they'd entered, though George might have liked the excuse to hunt through the rest of the train in case Vivian had found a seat further down.

"She's probably with Angelina and Alicia. They always find us once the train's been moving awhile," Fred offered after a few minutes of silence wherein George did not move his eyes from the compartment window for even a moment.

Fred of course did not need to be told what, or rather who had gotten his twin in such an anxious state. George had been troubled, and truly bordering on unbearable by the end of the winter holiday, moping about constantly, acting like the entirety of the world was about to end every time Errol returned without a letter for him. It had reached the point where Fred was more than a little relieved to finally be returning to school, something he never thought he'd say in his life. And though he had greatly enjoyed watching his twin bite their brother Charlie's head off the one time the older Weasley had made the mistake of insinuating she had some American bloke back home keeping her "busy", he sincerely hoped the girl was on this train, if only for the sake of his twin's mental health,

George sighed, finally removing his fixed stare from the compartment window to lean his head back in the seat. He knew he didn't need to feel this on edge. Vivian's letter (the one time she had responded, anyway) had made it clear they would see each other at Hogwarts. He really didn't have any reason to worry. But he wanted to see her face; look her in the eyes while she told him he didn't have to worry. He was almost positive that the gnawing pit in his stomach would remain until he was able to do so.

Gods, he was definitely a sap. He was never going to be able to live this down with his brothers, he was sure.

His hopes were brought up when their compartment door slid open, letting Lee, Angelina, and Alica inside but were quickly dashed when the last girl shut the door behind her. George tried not to let his disappointment show on his face, though he clearly did a very poor job of it based on the looks they all exchanged.

"Unhappy to see us Georgie?" Lee asked with a good natured laugh, clapping both twins on the shoulders in greeting as he passed them to take his seat next to the younger twin.

"And here I thought we were your best friends," Alicia said, putting her hand on her chest in faux dismay as she wedged herself between Fred and Angelina who didn't look overly pleased with the seating arrangement.

"I am happy to see you," he said, rolling his eyes at their teasing and shooting Fred an irritated look when he made a noise of disagreement.

"George is just on edge because he hasn't found his girlfriend yet," Fred butted in, rolling his eyes to the rest of the group who quickly devolved into childish giggles, much to George's displeasure. Was there no sanctity among brothers any more? He just had to bring this up in front of everyone else? He made a mental note to really let Fred have it the second they were alone.

"She is not my girlfriend!" he responded, a bit too indignantly to really be convincing. "Besides, can a man not be concerned about a friend?"

"So noble of him. Question Alicia: did you also receive a letter from George over Christmas asking if you'd heard from our friend?" Angelina asked, giving the younger Weasley an incredibly irritating and knowing look.

"I did," Alicia nodded solemnly, trying to fight a shit eating grin that tugged at the corners of her mouth as she looked at George. "Seemed quite hysterical as well."

"Aye he's much more concerned than he was when I had to go home for my grandad's funeral in 2nd year. Wonder what the difference is?" Lee added with his own insufferable look, joining in on George's torture.

"Okay I think that's more than enough of that," George scowled at the rest of the group in a fruitless effort to fight the blush that was creeping up his neck. Absolute bastards, the lot of them. They better hope and pray they never have a single embarrassing moment around him for the rest of their lives.

As the rest of the compartment recovered from their obnoxious giggling and finally decided to talk about something other than George's painfully obvious crush, he tried his absolute hardest to focus on the conversation in front of him, he really, really did. In fact he made it a grand total of ten minutes before someone was snapping in his face to get his attention again.

"Don't you think so George?" Lee asked, an eyebrow raised in the younger twin's direction while the rest of the group smirked at them, well aware that George had not been paying the slightest bit of attention to whatever they had been talking about.

"Hmm? Nothing. Excuse me lads I'm gonna go take a piss," George said as he made towards the compartment door, not appreciating the knowing looks his friends and brother exchanged and choosing to ignore the mumbled "Please" that Alicia not so subtly whispered to Angelina as he passed them.

"Uh huh, start in the back carriages, she'd probably be where it's less crowded," Fred offered in a tone that did not leave George much room for anything more than a half hearted scowl in his brother's direction.

Ducking out of the compartment before his face could turn completely scarlett and shutting out the giggles they had all fallen back into, George made his way towards the end of the train, peaking in the compartment windows as he passed by. With each train car he made it through without spotting the blonde, his anxiety skyrocketed.

Reaching the end of the final car of the train with still no sight of Vivian, he groaned, leaning his head against the caboose door, growing frustrated with himself. He did not like that he was beginning to feel uncomfortably similar to how his mother acted when he and Fred got "lost" as children. The twins had always laughed at the way their mum made it out like the world was ending when they had merely gone down the road–he never thought he'd be able to sympathize with her concerns. Sure he had always been the more anxious of the two of them, but he had never been neurotic. He did not enjoy the sensation one bit and even less so the knowledge that a girl he fancied had gotten such a response from him.

This just wasn't like him. He had fancied plenty of girls, dated a few here and there–he was a romantic at heart after all–but he'd be lying if he said that any of them had ever captured his mind so completely in the way Vivian had. Everything seemed to bring his mind back to her, her features now sticking out in the faces of strangers he passed on the street. He couldn't even look at the color blue without comparing it to the way her eyes sparkled in the sun. Her interests grabbed his attention even when she wasn't in the room–for the first time in his entire life, he had paid attention to his mum and sister talking about a romance novel they had both read, wondering if it was a book Vivian would enjoy, knowing that she kept a stack of the cheesy love novels by her bed at all times. Really he had been thinking about her much more than any self respecting man would care to admit. It could not be healthy to be so infatuated with one person.

He needed to get it together, at least for the train ride, for Godric's sake. He really had no reason to be this on edge. Sure she had been acting quite wreckless for the last week of classes, but really who could blame her? Hell, if he had lost even one parent, he might have been a lost cause, let alone if he lost two at once. He had been incredibly lucky his whole life and never lost anyone he was close with, but he imagined that someone dealing with grief would want to try to distract themselves as much as possible, maybe even act a bit crazy for a little while. That was understandable right? He had no reason to think she would get worse, or do anything seriously regrettable. And for all he knew, she was coming in on a different train. Maybe she'd already portkeyed back?

Yes that was it, he decided. Dumbledore got her a portkey home, it would be completely logical to assume he also would have gotten her a portkey back to school. George took a breath, trying to let his anxious brain catch up with this new revelation as he made his way back to his compartment, ignoring the jeers of his so-called friends when he returned without her, forcing himself to keep his eyes off the compartment window on the off chance she passed by.

For the remainder of the journey, George tried not to notice every second of every minute pass. He willed himself not to count the minutes or stare into the landscape, silently begging Hogsmeade station to come into view. He felt certain that the time was passing much slower than usual and had managed to convince himself that the train was taking a longer route for some unknown reason–perhaps just to make his life more difficult?

When the train finally pulled into the station, it took a profound amount of effort on his part to walk behind the rest of his compartment in a calm and orderly fashion rather than rush off the train as though it had caught fire. And an even greater amount of effort to not look too irate at the fact that they had to wait for ten minutes before another horseless carriage arrived to take them back to Hogwarts–much to Fred's amusement, though to his credit, the older Weasley twin did have the good sense not to call attention to George's mood this time.

So it probably went without saying that it was an enormous relief when George rushed into the Great Hall after quickly depositing his bags in his dorm and spotted Vivian eating dinner at the Gryffindor table. She looked to be having a thoughtful conversation with Hermoine who seemed oddly separated from Harry and Ron as the two boys were sitting further down the table with their friends Seamus and Dean. His brother in particular kept shooting the bushy haired girl dirty looks that she seemed to be purposefully ignoring–something he would have to ask him about once the more pressing matters had been tended to.

"He-y," he slid into the seat next to Vivian, awkwardly clearing his throat at his voice crack and shooting Fred a death glare when he started snickering across from him. Godric forbid his twin, the man he shared a bloody womb with, ever pass up a single opportunity to embarrass him. "Looks like you beat us back here."

"Hey. Hey you guys," she smiled back at him before turning to greet the others as they took their seats at the table. "Yeah I portkeyed into Dumbledore's office this morning. Much better than a seven hour train ride, I thought. How was your break?"

"I will NEVER go on another cruise for as long as I live," Angelina answered, scooping mashed potatoes onto her plate while grimacing at the memory.

"Well at least you got to go somewhere," Alicia huffed over her goblet of pumpkin juice. "I sat at home with my parents the entire time. My mum tried to teach me to knit."

"Oh you want to talk shitty Christmases, Alica?" Fred leaned forward, with a mischievous glimmer in his eye that made George very nervous. "Try spending the holiday with George in the state he's in. I'm telling you it was constant."

The 5th years burst into laughter, all, of course but George, who very much wished he could crawl into a hole and die and Vivian, who only looked confusedly between them all as she tried to piece together what they were laughing at.

"What state?" she asked with a confused chuckle, eying George once the majority of the other's laughter began to die down.

"Nothing, nothing," Fred interrupted, miraculously sparing his twin the ordeal of having to come up with an answer that wasn't utterly humiliating. "How was your winter holiday, V?"

A surprised laugh bubbled out of her at this question, knowing Fred was gifting her with his greatest talent of trying to make someone laugh when they've been through a shitty situation. She leaned forward on the table with her chin resting on her knuckles as she gave him a cheeky grin in response.

"Oh it was really good Fred, thanks for asking. Very jolly, as I'm sure you can all imagine."

"You probably did have it better," George laughed, nudging her knee with his under the table. "Percy got an enchanted pen for Christmas and he hasn't shut up about it since. You would've hated listening to it."

"Thank god I had to go home then, right?" she laughed, nudging him back, sending a river of ease up George's back. He felt the anxiety in his chest loosen slightly, allowing him to breathe for what felt like the first time in days. This was a much different Vivian than the one he'd last spoken to before break. This was much closer to normal Vivian.

Once the meal had concluded and the Gryffindors had made their way back to their common room, the girls immediately headed towards the stairs, eager to get their supposed Girl's Night started. George quickly stopped the trio before they could get too far, demanding they wait there so that he and Fred could retrieve the Christmas package their mum had packed for Vivian.

"Weasley jumper, as promised," George said as he jumped over the last two steps and presented the package to Vivian with a dramatic flourish.

"I think Mum put a few slices of her treacle tart in there too, lucky you," Fred added leaning over her shoulder to watch her open the gift.

"Ooooo," Vivian squealed as she held the purple sweater accented with a silver V up in front of her. "This is so nice, thank you, guys! How did you know purple was my favorite color?"

"Well you wear a lot of purple, I took an educated guess," George answered, the tips of his ears turning red when Alica and Angelina wiggled their eyebrows at him over Vivian's shoulder though she didn't notice either occurrence as she was busy inspecting the stitching of her new garment.

"I love it," she clutched the sweater in her arms as she beamed at the gingers in front of her.

"And," George added, rummaging through the pockets of his robes to retrieve the second gift. "Fred and I made you this," he handed her a small white cylinder, about the size of her ring finger.

"What is it?" she asked curiously as she studied the object, letting it roll in her palm and only slightly nervous that it was about to explode. She was pretty sure they wouldn't do that to her–at least not right now.

"It's a smokeless cigarette. Never ending since you don't need to light it. We think it's supposed to be healthier than a normal cig too," he added in a pointed voice, never a fan of her smoking habit.

Vivian smiled, pulling both boys into a tight hug, unsure of whether to be flattered or disturbed at the fact that they knew her so well.

"You guys are the best," she said, laughing when they both quickly agreed with her. "I don't have anything to give you though," she pulled back, the guilt already starting to line her features.

"Ah, don't worry about that V, just get us double the presents on our birthday," Fred said, only half joking.

She laughed, agreeing to the deal before letting Angelina and Alicia tug her up the girl's staircase, all of them eager to begin the festivities. She grinned over her shoulder at them to say goodbye, Weasley gifts firmly in hand as they disappeared around the corner.

0-0

Vivian closed her eyes against the cold January wind, releasing a tension in her shoulders that had been there all night as she allowed her feet to dangle off the edge of the Astronomy Tower. She thought that after two weeks of depressing solitude in her empty family home, it would have made her feel great to be back in her friend's company, but in reality she just felt kind of drained. She had to keep reminding herself to smile, to laugh at a joke, and to be her normal self when the fact was she didn't feel like her normal self at all.

She wanted to–god did she want to feel like herself more than anything–but there was a bubbling cauldron of ugly thoughts and complex emotions in her that made her want to scream, cry, and break things all at once. But she knew that doing so would only make her friends worry about her, something she was determined to avoid at all costs this term. So she pushed those feelings to the back of her mind and did everything in her power to have a good time during Girl's Night with Angelina and Alicia.

Not to toot her own horn but she did think she had done a brilliant job of playing the part in the moment. But now that it was over, and the other girls had fallen asleep, she found the ugly thoughts beginning to make their way to the surface again, pounding on the inside of her head, rooting itself deeper into her brain, and keeping her awake long after the others had begun snoring.

Desperate for a distraction, she found herself in the Astronomy Tower, looking over the deserted Hogwarts grounds as the stars shone above her. She searched the sky for the North Star, quickly locating it and tracing Ursa Minor and Ursa Major with her eyes, the familiar constellations bringing her a small amount of comfort. No matter where she went, at least she could always look up at the same stars, somehow grounding herself in the balls of light millions of miles above her.

"Thought I might find you here," she turned to see George standing behind her, with his hands in his pockets as he climbed up the last few steps leading into the classroom. He wasn't at all ashamed to admit that the sight of Vivian wearing her Weasley sweater the same night he had gifted it to her made his heart flutter with the kind of pride that was normally only reserved for when he and Fred perfected a new product to sell.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you had an enchanted map that tells you where everyone is at all times," she teased him with a smile, though it wasn't her full dimpled smile, much to his dismay.

"Hmmm I don't know what you're talking about. This was all me," he sat down next to her, letting his feet hang over the edge as hers did. "How are you doing?" he asked, staring into her eyes for any hint as to what she might be feeling. He tried not to focus too hard on how they sparkled in the moonlit Astronomy Tower, or on what had almost transpired between them the last time they were alone there.

"I'm fine."

he gave her a look as though he didn't quite believe her to which she nodded, conceding.

"Well maybe not fine," she gave a low chuckle. "But I'll be okay."

"It's not good to bottle things up," he gave her a stern look that she tried not to giggle at. It was definitely one of the sides of him she found the sweetest, when he got all serious and concerned like this. For as much havoc as the twins routinely caused around the school, George really was a softie deep down.

"Have you ever considered going into counseling? You'd be good at it," she commented casually, ignoring the conversation he was actually trying to have with her.

"Vivian!" he scolded, though he couldn't help letting a laugh escape him. "Okay, okay I get it, I'm dropping the subject. But if you did ever want to talk about your parents-"

"I missed you," she interrupted, feeling her cheeks heat up at the abruptness of the words but grateful that they seemed to completely derail George's line of questioning. As much as she appreciated his concern, she was ready to stop thinking about her parents for today.

"You did?" he asked, the surprise evident in his voice.

"Of course I did," she laughed at his shocked expression. "Did you miss me?"

George was immensely grateful for the dark room partially concealing the red tint that immediately flooded his features at her question. Did he miss her? Yeah, that's one way of putting it.

"You could definitely say that," he reached down to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear, his touch lingering as he gazed down at her with a new intensity in his eyes that hadn't been there a moment ago.

His heart nearly stilled as he looked at her, trying to memorize every detail of her face as she stared back at him. He had been alone with her countless times, flirted with her even more frequently, but there had only been a handful of moments in their friendship where he had seen this look from her before–it was a look that swallowed him whole, nearly drowning him, once again, in the inescapable ocean in her eyes. Almost involuntarily, he found himself leaning forward, bringing their faces closer together as his eyes flickered once down to her lips.

Her heart hammered in her chest, aware of the closing gap between them and straining her ears for any patrolling faculty or prefects that might be keen on interrupting them once again. Despite the fact that she'd had such a conniption about almost kissing him just a few months ago, the very last thing she wanted right now was for him to pull away from her. She stared into his eyes, the way the stars bounced off them as they bored into her own making her breath catch in her throat. The hand that had tucked her hair behind her ear had moved down to cup her cheek, his long fingers brushing into her hairline as he pulled her in closer to him. She felt her eyes flutter closed under his touch once again, felt the soft puffs of his breath against her face as he leaned in to–finally, finally–press his lips to hers.

And suddenly they were kissing. Would it be too cliche of her to say there were definitely sparks? More than sparks, there was such a magnetism pulling them together now, she had absolutely no idea what she had been so scared about before. It somehow felt like their first kiss and their hundredth at the same time, new and exciting, familiar and safe. His lips melted into hers in a way that felt like he was made for her. Her fingers reached up to twist into his hair, pulling him closer into her, as if he would ever pull away now.

George tilted her head back, deepening the kiss as his other arm came to wrap around her waist. The frigid January air continued to sweep over them, but neither seemed to pay it any mind, the other being the only thing flooding their senses. Any and all thoughts she had been having prior to this moment flew out the window, thousands of miles away. The only thing she was presently aware of was the overwhelming smell of cinnamon and gunpowder, a flood that her brain was trying to swim through, without much success.

She was unsure how long they stayed that way, latched together in each other's embrace, but when they finally did come up for air, she could see the flush on George's face, feel his breath panting against her cheek as he leaned his forehead against hers, knowing she must have looked in a very similar state.

"I must admit, I really wasn't expecting this outcome when I first came up here," he laughed, still slightly breathless as he moved to hold her hands in his own and pulled his head back to gaze down at her.

"Well I like to keep you on your toes you know," she laughed, her eyes twinkling up at him in the way that made his heart skip.

"Oh believe me, I know," he laughed with her, wrapping an arm tightly around her waist as he closely watched her give a full dimpled smile, turning her head to face the stars above them.

They stayed that way for some time, leaning against each other in the Astronomy Tower until they both got too cold to stay. He stood first, offering a hand to help her to her feet and not releasing hers until they'd reached the stairs that separated the girl's and boy's dormitories in the Gryffindor Tower.

"Goodnight," he said, when they finally had to part, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips before they both turned and made their way up their respective staircases, George shooting her one last grin before they lost sight of each other.

Vivian felt like she was walking on air as she made her way back to her darkened dormitory. Whatever thoughts had been weighing on her had left the building, were so far out of her mind that she could hardly remember what it was that had gotten her out of bed in the first place. A stupid grin was plastered onto her face as she slid back into the covers of her bed, careful not to wake up her sleeping roommates. She pressed her fingers to her lips, trying to stifle the grin that was starting to make her cheeks ache, to no avail.

She wasn't sure how George always managed to do it, but he had an uncanny ability to keep her up at night, her heart still fluttering with the adrenaline of kissing him and certain that she would now be awake for much longer than she ever would have been had she not gone to the Astronomy Tower.

I had so much fun writing this chapter, I hope it's fun to read too xoxo

Kazaqui: I know she's REALLY going through it right now. She needed a fluff chapter like this so badly lol