Turn Your Back and I'll Disappear

Jinx stepped out of the dark tunnel into the light.

All around the tree, children played, their laughter floating in the air like feathers on the breeze. Families lunched together. Partners hugged. Here, life seemed to brim to its full potential. It reminded her of her other home—of Vander and Claggor and Mylo.

"How long has this been here?" She asked, still incredulous.

"Long enough," Ekko replied with a proud smile.

"How could you not tell me before?"

"You're really asking that..." Ekko almost laughed at her question.

"Fair point," she snipped back.

She took a deep breath, the fresh scent of nature tickling her nose.

They took a few steps together, their hands still clasped, when she started to notice a shift in the air. People were beginning to whisper, staring with distrust and shock stamped across their faces.

"Why is she here?" Someone said.

"She doesn't belong here!" others shouted.

"She destroys everything!"

"She's a Jinx! She can't be trusted with this place."

All around her the voices grew louder, each accusation cutting deeper. A kid scurried to hide behind his mother's legs, crying as though a monster had crept from under his bed.

Ekko stepped in front of her, trying to shield her from that awful experience.

"Everyone, keep calm!" He shouted back, raising his hands in the air as he tried to reach their attention. But it was frivolous.

"Listen to me!" he yelled louder, his voice carrying the weight of authority. "I brought every single one of you here. If I say she's welcome, then she's welcome."

Jinx stared at him, stunned. Here was the Firelights' leader. She'd always known this. But seeing it… was something else entirely. He'd really been forced to grow up, molded by the vicious environment that surrounded them at the lanes. He could be sweet, and he had helped everyone here. But he was also a commander—resolute.

"We all know what she's done," Ekko continued, his tone unwavering. "But every one of you has done terrible things too. And none of you were turned away." His words hung heavy in the air, silencing the crowd.

Gradually, most of them started to disperse, though the environment still felt burdensome.

There, where just before the space brimmed with life, now it seemed sparse of people. Hushes and whispers were heard as discontent still lingered.

Ekko took her hand and dragged her across the grass, his head held high with pride and determination.

At the base of the tree, a massive mural filled with portraits of people caught her eye. Many, she didn't know. But everyone she'd lost, was also there—herself included.

She stopped in front of it, her eyes shining, scrutinizing every little detail.

"We keep the memories of those we've lost… so we remember why we fight." His voice was soft now, but something else lingered in his tone. "So that history doesn't repeat itself."

He pointed to some stairs at the base of the tree. Wrapped around the tree was a staircase that reached its higher branches. It was truly something mesmerizing to look at—each floor had a few cozy rooms—buildings made of wood and whatever they could find. But the light coming from the windows made it feel like something magical. A house made for fairies, a dollhouse for giants.

"Ladies first," Ekko said, waiting for her to take a step so that he could have her back. Always a savior.

"You expect me to climb all that?" she asked, raising a skeptical brow.

"Well, we could always take my hoverboard," he teased. "And while that does sound very amusing, I would much rather give you the full tour."

Somehow, flying with him on that seemed even worse than taking a hundred stairs.

"Fine."

They started their journey upwards while Ekko commented on a few specific rooms here and there, sharing pieces of his history.

"This was the first one I built," he nodded at a small cabin's door, a faint sadness lingering in his eyes. "I lived a while here, alone."

They continued. "And this one here was the first we built as Firelights. It was our lair—kinda like yours." Jinx could hear the slight proudness in his voice. "It was the beginning of everything." He lingered on his memories as they continued their climb. "A small family lives there now."

A few more minutes passed before he spoke again.

"We never turned down anyone. And with the streets full of shimmer…" He paused, looking at her with a bittersweet look. "Well, you can imagine. We needed to add a lot of rooms as time passed."

When they were near the top, Ekko stopped and leaned on the railing, his gaze falling upon the view. He took a deep breath, his frown softening as if the view brought him a sudden calm.

"Eventually, we ran out of space on the tree. So we started building around it." He pointed to the small tents, vivid colors livening up the space. "Now, I don't even know how many families we have living here. But we have food for everyone. And clear air." He smiled. "The tree provides." Ekko looked at Jinx, content with what he had accomplished with his new-found family.

It made her realize she had not spoken since she first started climbing the stairs. "I had no idea," she forced herself to say.

She was proud of him. But at the same time, this all stung. It stung that she'd lost everyone. It stung he had this big family. And more than that, it stung that she felt like she could never belong to this family.

"It's beautiful, really colorful. I can see your touch in everything." She smiled lightly, gazing upon the tents and cabins.

Ekko placed his hand over hers on the railing.

"I'm glad you noticed it." He smiled back before continuing up.

"Here is the official Firelights headquarters," he nodded to another room, his smile as big as the stairs they had just climbed. "And there," he pointed at the last cabin. "Is my room."

He grabbed her hand and finally surpassed her, dragging her with excitement. He opened the door and pulled her in by her hand. "Come. Let me show it!" He sounded like a little boy filled with glee.

"Here is where I tinker with my hoverboard," Ekko pointed at the corner where there was a workbench full of tools and parts. "You're not the only one who likes to play with toys," he joked.

"And here is where I keep my paints and drawings," he pointed at a corner that was filled with paints of every possible color and an easel.

Color rushed to his checks as he jumped in front of the painting that lay on the easel, trying to hide it with his body. "Erm, and there's my bed!" he said, pointing in the opposite direction.

"Move over!" Jinx tried to pull him but he was hellbent on staying put.

"I forgot about this!" He said, shame covering his face. "Don't make fun of me," he pleaded. He sounded so much like the Little Man she once knew. Something in her heart melted.

"I promise I won't." She smirked ever so lightly. "Pinky promise?" she extended her pinky finger to him.

"Oh, you're already joking!" He flipped around quickly, wrapping his body around the painting. "Turn around and let me put it away!"

"Never!" She laughed, taking the opportunity to tickle him. His body immediately betrayed him as he folded.

Both of them froze when the painting was finally revealed.

It was her. Powder.

Pure powder. Blue shiny eyes Powder. Healthy-looking Powder. Sane and happy Powder.

Swirling on a white dress, dancing under the stars.

"It's… it's from that night," she finally said. A bitter taste lingered in her mouth. How could she be jealous of herself?

"Yeah… She—You! You looked so happy that night. I couldn't get the image out of my mind. I had to paint it just to try." Ekko turned away and walked towards the bed, dropping onto it. "Some night, huh?"

"Seems like a lifetime ago," she whispered.

"Yet it was just days ago," he replied, his voice glooming. Jinx walked towards the other corner and jumped to the workbench, sitting far away from him.

"Yeah," she replied. "This is exactly how I always pictured your space. A whole lot less crazy than mine, right?" She giggled, eager to change the topic.

"Just a little bit," he pinched the air between his fingers, laughing with her.

"Look, I need to take care of a few things. And now it's you who could really use a bath." He smirked with a mischievous glint. "I can smell you from here, you know?" He tried to mimic the face she'd done just a few days ago when teasing him in her lair.

Jinx immediately flipped him off, which only made him laugh harder. "I don't have clothes for you," he admitted, still grinning. "But you can always grab a pair of my boxers."

She flipped him off again—though she knew she'd probably take his offer; it was better than nothing.

"There's the bathroom," he showed her a brown door. "Feel free to make yourself at home." He smiled softly at her, standing up and walking towards the exit door.

"Later, we'll figure out your sleeping situation… I can try to find something for you. A room, maybe—even though we're really crowded right now." He scratched the back of his head as he rambled. "Or we can get another bed here, I think it'll fit—"

"Or I can sleep with you," she interrupted his blabber, casually. "It's cold anyway." She shrugged, looking down at her boots.

"Erm… Okay. Well, if you need anything, I'll be down in the headquarters," he said, bolting out the door before she could see his cheeks burning and his jovial smile.

A soft breeze made her hair flutter as the door swung shut. She jumped off the workbench and stood in front of the painting. It could've been a mirror in another life. But now… now she didn't know how to feel looking at it. She just knew her chest was tightening. She took it down and placed it on the floor, carefully turning it around to face the wall.

She headed to the bathroom, ready to let all the bloodstains flow with the water down the drain.

—

Steam spilled into Ekko's room when Jinx stepped out of the bathroom. He wasn't back yet.

She walked to his bed, drying her hair with a towel. Her whole body ached when she threw herself onto the mattress, but she felt a warm comfort because it was his bed. She grabbed his pillow, burying her face in it, inhaling its scent like it was a freshly baked cookie.

Sleeping here with him did sound like a dream.

The exhaustion of the last few days began to weigh her down, her eyes growing heavy as the room dimmed into darkness.

—

Jinx opened her eyes to realize it was already dark. She'd fallen deep asleep, her body relaxed by a hot shower and a cozy bed. She stretched and stood up, decided to find Ekko.

The view from the tree was even more breathtaking in the night. The green leaves—so vibrant during the day–-had faded into the background, replaced by the glow of hundreds of firelights. The cabins' windows twinkled like tiny fireplaces. She could almost feel its warmth grazing her skin. It was otherworldly.

She understood why people came here to heal—and why they never wanted to leave.

The faint wind carried Ekko's voice from the level below. He was probably still in the headquarters.

She approached the door, her heart glowing with the coziness of this place, when she stood there, unable to open it. The door was slightly ajar and she heard her name.

"Jinx is taking a nap upstairs. Can you please lower your voice?" Ekko asked someone, his voice tired. "Can't you see what she's been through?" He continued.

"What about what we've been through? What about all the people she killed?" The other voice was filled with anger.

"I know…" Ekko's voice was barely a whisper.

"You know?!" The stranger's tone grew harsher. "Did you forget how many of us? Their names?! Because I haven't!"

"I did not! Of course not!" Ekko's frustration was spilling over. "We never forget. You know that. But in the end… she fought by our side, Scar!" Ekko banged his hand on the table, his tone almost pleading.

Scar didn't reply.

"She's different. Why can't you see that?" Ekko asked.

"Maybe because I'm not blinded by love!" Scar snapped.

"It's not—" Jinx heard the sound of something being thrown on the floor, drowning out the rest of the words. "We don't turn our backs on anyone."

"But—"

"But what? You didn't kill before you came here?" Ekko cut him off, his tone ruthless.

A tense silence lingered before Ekko continued, his voice softer. "Look. We all have a past. We all came here because we needed—not because we wanted. That's the reality." He sighed. "And we all got our second chances. Why is she any different?"

"You're not really asking me that!" Scar replied bitterly.

"Scar, please! I need your help with the others." Ekko's voice was raw now, almost begging. "I had to shut them up out there today, but you know that won't last. I need your support. If you're with me, then they'll come around too."

"She took our lives!" Scar shouted.

"I know! Stop saying that!" Ekko's voice cracked with emotion. "Do you think I don't keep remembering it when I look at her?!"

Jinx's heart shrank into a tiny piece of coal. She couldn't bear to hear more. She ran back upstairs, slamming the bedroom door shut behind her. She didn't want to spiral into her old ways, but she could hear her old ghosts creeping in already when she folded into the floor, hugging her knees tightly.

The bedroom door opened in front of her. "I thought I heard something. You're up?" Ekko said.

When he saw her on the floor he ran to her. He knelt beside her with a worried look stamped on his face, his hands resting on her shoulders. "What are you… Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just bored," she said dismissively, her voice sharp. "And hungry. Do you even eat?" She tried to hide her misery under unpleasantness. "I thought the idea was to grab a meal, not leave Jinx alone all day." She rolled her eyes.

Ekko frowned, sorrow seeping into his features. "I'm sorry… I forgot. I came in here and you were sleeping… I thought you needed—"

"About that," she interrupted, her tone bitter. "Can you get that other bed in here tonight?"

Ekko stared at her with confusion, his eyes full of longing and melancholy. "Of course," he replied softly.