Chapter 7
It was nearing five o'clock when Shawn arrived at Turner's apartment. He was feeling pretty good right now. He was actually feeling slightly excited about the prospect of going to a new school on Monday. He was curious as to what his courses were going to be like and what the other students were going to be like. Tomorrow he was gonna go with Eddie to get a few things so he didn't go to school wearing old clothes that didn't fit or had holes in them. He appreciated that Eddie was doing all of this, because he didn't have to. He didn't have to pay for the legal fees for him to be emancipated. Shawn never thought he would truly have a brother, but it was starting to look like Eddie wanted to be his brother and Shawn was going to enjoy it while he could.
Shawn knocked on the door and after a moment it opened to reveal Jon on the other side. He gave Shawn a warm welcoming smile as he stepped back and spoke.
"Hey, I'm a bit behind. I just ordered us a pie."
"It's all good." Shawn said, as he walked in and removed his coat.
"You writing a book?" Jon asked with a smirk as he nodded to the stack of papers in Shawn's hand.
"Ah… naw. Maybe one day." Shawn said with a smile as he continued. "It's paperwork that I was hoping you could help me figure out."
"Can't make any promises, but I can try my best. Take a seat." Jon said, as he waved into the direction of the couch as he continued. "What's the paperwork for?"
"I have to fill out the forms for the school. Do I have to fill out something to drop out of John Adams?" Shawn asked, as he sat down.
"No, the school will inform the office. You're gonna do it? You're gonna go?" Jon didn't want to allow himself to get his hopes up, but if Shawn was talking about forms that needed to be filled out that meant he must have decided to go to The Crefeld.
"I wasn't sure, but Eddie helped me to see my worries could be worked out. He actually told me I was going. I got the impression even if I said no, he wasn't going to allow that. He signed already, I just have to fill out the rest. I think I can figure those forms out. It's the emancipation forms that I don't know what to do with. Eddie didn't either."
"Emancipation?" Jon asked, completely taken aback. That wasn't something he had been expecting for Shawn to be looking to do. It honestly never even crossed his mind.
"Eddie brought it up. I didn't even know it was a thing, but he thinks it would be the best move for me to make. And I agree it would be nice to not have to worry about one of the teachers calling DCFS on me. I know you and Mr. Feeney wouldn't call, but I don't want to have to worry about one of the teachers at this new school asking too many questions or getting suspicious when my parents never show up. It just… it makes the most sense."
Jon knew it made sense for Shawn to be emancipated, but that didn't mean it would be easy. He could hear the hurt that Shawn was trying to hide within his tone. Of course he was hurt. He had to legally go into a courtroom and tell a judge that his parents abandoned him. It wasn't something any child should have to do and Jon hated that he was.
"How does that make you feel though?" Jon gently asked.
"I don't… I don't know. I didn't even know something like this was possible. I mean… I want to hope that my parents will come back. That my mom will come back on her own once she realises what she's done. Or maybe my dad will find her and they will come back for me. Both have left before, but never like this and never for this long. My dad sounded pretty sure that he didn't want to come back. I shouldn't be surprised. I could never count on them to be home when I got there. And things weren't good even when they were. They both drank, dad got mean, they were always fighting, throwing things around. Honestly, the safest I ever felt was when they were both out. I think this is something I need to do so I don't have to worry about being taken away or forced to go back to that if they do come back."
Shawn was upset about having to do this, but it was one more piece of protection from anyone that was trying to hurt him or take him away from the life he was trying to build for himself. The emancipation was his security that he didn't have to go back to the trailer park if his parents came back. He could still go and see them and have them in his life, there was nothing stopping that from happening, but it could be on his terms instead.
"If it wasn't a safe place for you to be, then making sure you never have to go back is the best choice of action we can make. Maybe they will come back, but you can't put your life on hold waiting for that day. I wish I could say that they will and I hope for your sake, if nothing else so you get that chance to have closure, that they come back. But like you said, you need to protect yourself so you don't get forced into a position you don't feel safe being in. Emancipation is there for kids in your position and I'm happy to help any way that I can for you. Do you need a lawyer?" Jon asked, more than happy to help any way he could.
"Eddie has a friend that helps street kids get emancipated. It's a grand to file and make it official, but Eddie said he was going to cover it. He's taking me out tomorrow to get a new backpack and some clothes for school. I just have to make sure the paperwork is all filled out. It can take two months to become official through the court, but once the papers are filed I won't have to worry about DCFS even if someone calls."
"Right, it'll be pending. Ok, what about a place to live and to work? I know you will have to show the court that you can live on your own without financial support from the State." Jon said, trying to get his mind to process all of this so he could try and make sure Shawn had all of his bases covered.
"I should have a place by the end of next week. Eddie's friend has a lot of connections and the place that he finds is a subsidy place. So it's only ten to twenty-five percent of what the normal rent is. I guess the landlord gets a tax credit for it. So I won't have to work crazy hours to cover it. As for work, Uncle Mike is gonna let me pick up more hours at the garage again. He said he could sign whatever I need for court." Shawn knew that last part was a lie. It would be good enough for the court though and Shawn knew he could get Uncle Mike to lie if anyone was gonna come around to ask. Between him and Eddie they would be able to forge a signature.
"Ok, that's good. You could also sell your photos or sketches on the side as well. Plus, after the emancipation is official, if you are stuck you could always apply for social assistance then. Let's see the school paperwork, that one will be easier and then we can work through the emancipation."
Mr. Turner had no idea if he was going to be able to help with all of the parts of the emancipation paperwork, but he was hoping he would be able to understand enough of it that they could figure it out. He had never seen them before, so he didn't know what would be needed or not. They worked on the school paperwork and it was very simple for them to fill out. Mr. Turner helped Shawn with the different areas he wasn't too certain about, but it was all very simple. When Shawn placed the emancipation paperwork down on the coffee table was when things got a lot more real.
"Are you sure about this?" Mr. Turner asked, wanting to make sure that Shawn wasn't feeling pressured to do this.
"I'm sure I can't go through all of this again. Honestly, if they showed up tomorrow all happy and in love again and wanting to be a family. I still wouldn't want to live with them. I can't trust that they won't take off again. I can't forgive that I was dumped off with Uncle Ralph. They both had a choice to be parents and they both chose to not be. I can never trust them again and if I can't trust them, how could I ever live with them? How could I trust for them to make the right decisions for me?"
"Unfortunately, you can't. I wish you had been able to have real parents, but that wasn't the hand you were dealt. If this is something you need to do to protect yourself, to find your own happiness, then I am one hundred percent on board. I just didn't want you to have any regrets. Because once you file, there is no going back."
"I don't want to go back. I want to go forward and make my own life. I know it'll be hard. I know I'll be tired and stressed at times, but it'll be my life and I'll finally have control over it. This is something I need and I'm not gonna regret it for a single second." Shawn said, confidently.
"Let's get this filled out then." Mr. Turner said with a warm smile. "But remember, I'm not going anywhere. Come Monday I won't be your teacher any longer, but I will always be your friend. I will always be there for you and you are welcome over here anytime. I even got a key made for you so you could still come over even if I'm not here."
"Really?" Shawn asked, shocked. He had no idea why Mr. Turner was doing any of this. He was just a student and soon he wouldn't even be that. Mr. Turner had no reason to be trying so hard for him or to be there for him once he was out of John Adams.
"Absolutely. You aren't alone in any of this Shawn and my door will always be open to you. I meant it when I told you that you could live here if you wanted to. And that is never going to change. And even though you are going to a different school soon, I will be happy to still help you with your homework. I would like to still see you a couple of times a week. We could have dinner and just hang out, either here or at your place. It would be good for you to have an adult around. One that isn't a criminal, no offense to your brother."
Mr. Turner wanted to make sure that Shawn had someone in his life that was not only an adult, but a good person. Someone that wasn't involved in a life of crime and could help guide Shawn on the right path. Mr. Turner could see that Eddie cared at least enough about Shawn to make sure he was in the right school and was getting the help he needed with being emancipated and finding a place to live. He was also making sure Shawn did his homework and went to school every day, which was a huge improvement from before. However, Eddie was still a criminal and that life could bleed over into Shawn's and that was the last thing Mr. Turner wanted for him. He didn't want Shawn getting swept up in some gang war or by the police because he was around Eddie. Mr. Turner was hoping he would be able to get Shawn interacting more with him, relying more on him, then on Eddie. That way Eddie could go back to being someone in the background in Shawn's life and not the person Shawn relied on most. He was also going to have to try and make it so Shawn and Cory were still hanging out with each other, especially now that they would be in different schools come Monday morning.
"I know he's a criminal. I mean, I'm not blind to what he does. But he's also been the one that has taken care of me most of my life. Even when he wasn't living there he was still making sure the bills were paid when our father wasn't working. A lot of people misunderstand him. He's been involved in crime since he was six years old. And the first time he stole anything it was to get enough money to buy formula for me. It was Eddie that fed me. It was Eddie that got up in the middle of the night to change me and give me a bottle. It was Eddie that I would go running to when I was scared. It was Eddie's bed that I would crawl into when I had a nightmare. It was Eddie that taught me how to crawl and walk. Eddie taught me how to write and read. Eddie was the one that took the hits when I would draw all over the walls. It was Eddie that would steal paper and crayons so I could have something to draw with. It was Eddie that got beaten all the time so our father wouldn't come after me. He had to drop out of school because the beatings were so bad he couldn't risk CPS stepping in and taking me away. It was Eddie that was kicked out by our father at fifteen and forced to live with Uncle Ralph. Working twelve hours a day, seven days a week at the same factory I was working at. Only getting paid thirty dollars a day. Eddie was the one that got his jaw broken by Uncle Ralph and that was the last straw for him. He left at fifteen and joined a gang and has been surviving ever since. All it would have taken was one adult to see him for who he truly was. To step in and say enough was enough. His whole life could have been different."
Shawn was not going to tolerate anyone giving Eddie shit for the choices he's made. He was an innocent kid when he was born and the world and the adults within that world failed him. All it would have taken was for one teacher to file a complaint with DCFS and Eddie could have been saved. Only no one ever did, because he was just another throwaway kid and no one cared about him. Shawn wasn't going to let anyone judge or speak badly about Eddie because he did what was needed to survive. Shawn himself was stealing and helping to package up drugs so he could make money and be able to live on his own. He was in the same gang that Eddie was in, all so he could keep surviving. And what was Eddie doing? He was still doing everything he could to protect Shawn from ruining his life. He was still making sure he was going to school and wouldn't be arrested. The whole gang was protecting him. Eddie wasn't a bad person. He was a product of his environment, just like Shawn was.
"I'm sorry he had to go through all of that. And I am sorry if it sounded like I was judging him. That wasn't my intention. I'm glad you had Eddie there to take care of you and protect you growing up. And I am glad he is still looking out for you. I just don't want you to get dragged into that life. You're a good kid and you have a lot of talent and potential. I just want you to be able to get everything you want out of life, that's all." Mr. Turner explained.
The last thing he wanted was to put a divide up between them. He wasn't too happy about Eddie's lifestyle, but it was natural for Shawn to want to be around his brother, especially now that Mr. Turner knew more about how they grew up and their closeness. He was going to be keeping a close eye on Shawn and making sure he didn't slip into Eddie's world, but he wouldn't be encouraging for Shawn to not see Eddie. It was going to be a fine line that Mr. Turner would have to walk, but he was willing to do it.
"I know and Eddie is supportive of that too. I'm ok. Really."
Shawn knew the next three years were going to be hard. Fuck, even the years after that were going to be hard. But this was his life and for the first time he was in control over it. He wasn't going to let anything get in his way or stop him from achieving his dreams. He didn't know what dreams he had, but he would achieve them once he figured out exactly what he wanted out of life. Getting emancipated was the first step to total freedom.
"Alright. Let's get this all figured out then." Mr. Turner said with an easy smile.
They both worked together to get the paperwork filled out. They stopped part way to eat once the pizza arrived. The paperwork was a lot more complicated than Shawn had been expecting, but Mr. Turner was able to work it all out. It did take them a few hours and once they were finished they were both too happy to sit back and watch a movie. Shawn had already let Eddie know that he was going to be crashing at Mr. Turner's that night so there was no hurry for Shawn to leave. Tomorrow Shawn would be going out clothes shopping with Eddie and then he would have to stop by the Matthews and tell Cory that he would be transferring school. That was one conversation he was not looking forward to, but it was one that needed to be had.
XXX
Shawn made his way towards Cory's house. He had spent the past few hours at the mall with Eddie getting a few new things. He got some jeans and shirts, even a new pair of winter boots and running shoes for school. It wasn't much, but it was enough to get him started and then he could always buy more once his part of the factory job came in. They were selling most of the goods already and it would only be a couple more days before all of the products were sold. It was looking like Shawn was going to end up with twenty grand from his share of the haul. Shawn still couldn't believe it, but he was also going to be very smart about his money. He was going to use some for his first and last months' rent deposit for his new place. He would pay some money on his utilities in advance so he wouldn't have to worry about them for a good six months. He was going to be using some for clothes and school supplies. But then the rest would be saved for food and put into savings. He wanted to try and have at least ten grand into savings just in case something happened to Eddie.
He was also going to be making roughly a thousand a week from the drug side of things. Even though Shawn would be making good money, he knew how quickly good money could disappear. He wanted to save up as much as he could so when he was ready to get out in three years he would have a nice safety net. He was also going to have to try and help the gang with finding new marks to rob. He didn't know how he was going to be doing that, but he would keep an eye out for anything that might be a good place to hit. For right now he had to go and tell Cory that he wouldn't be at school on Monday and he had no idea how well this would go over. He was hoping that Cory would be happy for him, excited even. Because there was a part of Shawn that was excited to start his new school. To be able to attend his classes and see what he could learn.
Shawn went and knocked on the back door before he opened it and walked in. He saw that no one was in the kitchen, so he went and headed into the living room to see everyone was sitting around either watching TV or reading.
"Shawny, hey man. I didn't know you were coming by." Cory instantly said with a massive smile as he put his homework down.
"Hey, sorry for just dropping by." Shawn said, slightly awkwardly. He didn't know if he should be calling or not first anymore.
"Shawn, how many times do we have to tell you that you don't need to call first? You can just come by." Alan said.
Both him and Amy had been worried about Shawn. He was barely going to school. He was working a lot of hours and was exhausted all the time. They suspected that his uncle was hurting him on top of it all. They had seen less and less of him during the last few months and they could both tell that Cory was very worried about his best friend. Even right now they could see the bruises all over his face that still hadn't healed from the last time he was beat up.
"I know, I just don't ever want to intrude is all." Shawn said, as he went and sat down in the free chair.
"You never could. How are you feeling? Cory said you got into a fight." Amy said with a warm smile.
"Oh, I'm fine. It wasn't a big deal." Shawn said with a small wave of his hand. He hadn't actually told Cory he had gotten into a fight. Shawn figured Cory suspected what was going on, but he was respecting his desire for privacy and Shawn loved him a bit more for it.
"Your eye was practically swollen shut. It was a pretty big deal, Shawny." Cory said with a pointed look.
"Are you finding there are more fights in the trailer park recently?" Alan asked.
"Um… ya I guess. It kinda goes in waves. It's not a big deal, I don't live there anymore."
"You and your uncle moved?" Amy asked, not sure how she was feeling about that.
"No, he still lives there. I moved in with my brother Eddie. He lives in the downtown area. He's got a friend that can help me find my own subsidized apartment in the downtown area. So I should have my own place by the end of the week."
"Eddie? The guy who threatened to beat me up?" Cory asked, surprised by the sudden change.
"He's complicated. He's always been good with me though. He's been taking me to and from school for the past week. I've been crashing with him for about a week now. He found me after the last fight and told me I was living with him. He's helping me get all situated with my own place and I'll be working for Uncle Mike again in his garage to be able to pay the bills."
"Ya, but Shawn, living on your own is not going to be easy. You should be in school and not working full-time to be able to pay your rent and everything else that goes with your own place. There's utilities, food, insurance, all of that. You can't stay with Eddie until you graduate?" Alan asked.
He didn't like that Shawn was living with his uncle. It was clear that his uncle was neglectful at best, abusive at worst. It wasn't a good situation for Shawn to be in and it was doing nothing to help Shawn get ahead in life. Alan didn't think Eddie, the violent criminal brother, would be much better, but at least Eddie was making an effort to get Shawn to and from school, which was more than his uncle had bothered. Living on your own at fifteen, it was incredibly hard as an adult, but to be a child, it was going to be a lot harder than Shawn was expecting.
"I know there's a lot involved. When you have been poor your whole life, you are very much aware of money and the cost of everything. I'll be able to balance working and school. I could have stayed with Eddie or even Jon offered me his place to live. Getting my own place is my choice. One I have put a lot of thought into. I want the stability. I want the security of having my own place. Of knowing that as long as I pay my rent, that is my home. No one can kick me out or disappear. It's mine. I'm sure that doesn't make sense to a lot of people and might seen crazy for me to do it at fifteen, but I need that stability and security and this is the best way to get it."
Shawn knew that most kids his age would be using their own apartment as a party pad. But he wasn't going to be doing that. He didn't want to have parties. He wanted to be able to go home and just be on his own. To be able to focus on his school work and start to figure out what he was going to do with his life. He wanted a safe place and that's what his apartment was going to be. If he wanted to party, he would go over to Eddie's and Dave's place.
"You've clearly put a lot of thought into this Shawn. What will happen if your parents come back? Or someone reports you for living alone?" Amy asked. She didn't like the idea of Shawn living on his own, but she could understand why it was so appealing to him, especially after the last six or seven months he's gone through.
"I'm filing for emancipation. Jon helped me to fill out the forms last night. Eddie has a friend that can put it through the court for him. His friend said it was pretty straight forward given the situation. Legally, my parents abandoned me when they both left the state. Until it becomes official in two months, Eddie is going to sign whatever I need."
"Emancipation? That's like you wouldn't have parents anymore." Cory said, shocked.
"Kinda don't have 'em now, Cor." Shawn said with a small shrug.
"It's a permanent step, Shawn. Are you sure you are ready for that?" Alan asked.
"You think I shouldn't?" Shawn asked, starting to second guess his decision.
"That's not what I'm saying. I just want you to make sure you are ready for this, that you want this. You can't go back on emancipation. Legally they would have no parental rights to you. You would be considered an adult, so everything falls on you. But, getting emancipated doesn't mean you can't be in contact with them. If one or both of your parents came back, you could still see them and have them in your life. The difference is, you would be out in the world on your own in a sense." Alan explained.
"That's what I've been doing for six months now. At least this way if they come back, they can't ruin everything I've built. They won't have any rights to it. They won't have any control over me or my life. I know to some people it might seem extreme. But I just want to be in control of my own life." Shawn answered.
"Ok. If this is what you truly want, then we will support you in this decision. But know this, we are not going to sit back and let you run your life off the road. We love you. We care about you. And we want you to succeed. If you are in trouble, you come to us. And we expect you to be here at least once a week for dinner so we can check in and make sure you are doing ok. And we want your address in case something happens." Alan ordered.
He couldn't make Shawn live with anyone. He would have loved for Shawn to be living with Jon or even with them. It would be hard on their budget, but they could have made it work for three years. What he wasn't going to tolerate was Shawn living on his own and they had no way of checking in on him. He was still a fifteen year old kid that needed adults in his life.
"That I can do. Jon also wants me at his place once a week to check-in. Especially, because I will no longer be in school." Shawn admitted.
They had taken to the last couple of changes pretty well, but this was the one he was most worried about. Not because he was dropping out, but because he wouldn't be in school with Cory any longer. It also meant that all homework was going to be on Shawn to do. He didn't have Cory to cheat off of or for him to step in and do the work that Shawn missed. He was really going to have to be responsible and get his assignments done.
"Wait what? You're dropping out?" Cory asked, confused but also angry.
"Shawn you can't drop out. You have to graduate." Alan instantly added.
"And I will graduate. I'm not technically dropping out. I'm switching schools. Jon spoke with Mr. Feeny and they were able to find me a school that was geared more towards my interests." Shawn started, as he went and handed Amy the brochure for the school that he brought with him. "It's a private school that is dedicated to teaching different forms of art and business courses. I received a full scholarship for the rest of the year, their semester started a week ago. I go on Monday."
"Shawn, this place looks really nice." Amy commented, as she looked through the brochure.
"They have a lot of great courses. I'm also signed up for the car pooling program. So a volunteer driver will pick me up and take me back home. It's a four year school, but they don't focus on typical courses. I'll still get history, english and geography, but it's geared towards the arts and not war battles. There are a bunch of business courses to help students learn how to run their own business with their artwork. There are no tests, just projects that you work on. I'm already enrolled in Photography 101, Painting 101, Sketching 101 and Introduction to Entrepenurialship 101."
"Is that what you want to do? Be an artist?" Alan asked. He had to admit the school looked nice and Shawn was getting a full scholarship, he would be crazy to turn it down. And there was something to be said for transferring schools. It might be what Shawn needed to graduate and not give up. If a traditional school wasn't working, why not try something untraditional?
"Or a writer. I'm not sure yet. But I do know I love drawing and photography. I've always loved drawing and writing. If I could turn that into a business, then I would be really interested in learning how. I think this school gives me what I need to be an artist and have my own business. It will teach me how to improve my skills and set me up for success. Even if I don't know what that specifically looks like right now."
"But you wouldn't get a traditional education either. No science or math. What are you gonna do for College?" Cory asked. He didn't like the idea of Shawn switching schools at all. They only got one class and lunch together, but he could at least see Shawn everyday and make sure he was ok. If he moved schools he wouldn't be able to check in on him. He couldn't be there to help him.
"I wouldn't go to College. That's the point of this school. They teach you accounting, budgeting, marketing, websites, all of it. I don't need to know how to make chemicals for what career I want. I don't need to know trigonometry or calculus. It's why Mr. Feeny and Jon thought this school would be best for it. They can teach me different skills to grow my art, but also prepare me for life outside of high school. College would just be more tests in subjects that I am forced to take because they are required for some program. I don't want to waste another four years sitting in a classroom learning things that won't apply to me. And that's all College would be for me." Shawn explained.
"College isn't for everyone. Plenty of people will go into a trade school to learn mechanics, plumbing, construction, all of that. If college doesn't have what you need for your career, then you have to look elsewhere. This school sounds and looks amazing. If you want to be an artist and run your own business, this school seems like the best place for you to be, Shawn." Amy stated.
"At the end of the day, you need to be in the school that you enjoy going to. A school that offers programs and work that you can be excited about and want to do. If it's this school, then you definitely need to go and we're proud of you. Getting a full scholarship is not easy and it's not something you can turn down. We support you completely and any school events, we will be there for you." Alan said.
At the end of the day, Alan just wanted Shawn to graduate high school. He didn't care if it was a different type of high school. The point was, Shawn was going and learning something. If it helped him to achieve his dreams, then the school did its job.
"I can't believe you aren't going to be in school with me though. We aren't going to graduate together." Cory said, hurt and sad that he was losing his best friend.
"I know, but we're still gonna see each other. And I'll get a home phone so we can talk every night. We can still hang out. And when you graduate I will be there to cheer you on. This only changes things Cor if we let it."
Shawn knew it was going to be hard. He knew that he was going to have to balance his school life, his personal life with his new gang life, but he also knew it was the on;y way to ensure he was going to make it to eighteen. It was the only way he was going to be at peace and find some safety and happiness within his life. It was going to be a balancing act, but he was prepared for it. He was going to succeed no matter what. He was going to prove everyone wrong about him. He would be successful in a career and keeping his apartment.
"Ya, but what if it's all too much to deal with? You are going to be living on your own, you won't have anyone there to support you or help you. You're divorcing your parents and now you are going to be in an all new school where you don't know anyone. You have no idea what the courses are going to be like. What if you can't handle it all?" Cory said.
This just seemed like too many life changes that Shawn was making in such a short amount of time. It felt like he was rushing and he just didn't understand why.
"I don't understand why you are rushing to make all of these major changes. You should be going to school with me and living with Mr. Turner. You could just focus on school, not working and paying bills. You could put all of your effort into school, getting good grades and then you could go to college for art if you wanted. What happens if you decide you don't want to be an artist? You'll never get into college without real courses and grades. Are you even gonna take the SATs?" Cory continued to rant.
"There aren't any tests, not even the SATs. Cor, I don't want to go to college. I don't want to be learning things I don't care about. I don't want to live in a place where I have to wonder if I'm gonna be kicked out or if the person who is supposed to be taking care of me has packed up and left. You were raised to go to school, get good grades and go to college to get a good job. That's not how I was raised. I was taught how to steal, how to lie and con people. I am trying to carve out a different path, a different life. I want to go to this school. I want to live alone. I want to make my own money. I want to only rely on myself." Shawn argued.
"Why? That's stupid Shawn. You're fifteen, you don't need to rush off and be an adult." Cory countered.
"Who's rushing? Cory I haven't been a kid since I was six and Eddie was kicked out. We come from different worlds and I know you always say it doesn't matter, but it does. You have never gone to bed listening to your parents screaming at each other. Listening to glass breaking and crying. You've never woken up to it. You go downstairs for breakfast to see your dad reading a newspaper and your mom cooking. I wake up, I gotta worry about stepping on broken glass and puke. Not knowing if my mom or dad will be passed out on the floor and beat up all to hell. Half the time there was no food for breakfast or lunch. I would steal a can out of the food donation box at the community center on my way to school. I don't want to go to school every day and feel like an idiot, because I don't understand a single word the teacher is saying. I am sick and tired of being passed around and kicked around like some stray dog no one can get rid of. I'm living on my own; I'm going to this new school for me. So I have a real chance at being happy and safe. Either you will be supportive of my decision or you won't be in my life, because I am done living for other people and I am done having people in my life that want to dictate what I do. I'm done having toxic people or people that want to hurt me in my life. For once in my life I just want to be happy and safe. Like you have gotten to be your whole life." Shawn exploded.
He knew he shouldn't have said half the things he had, but he was so sick and tired of people trying to control him. He was sick of having to justify every decision he had. He didn't want to do this anymore. He didn't want people in his life that couldn't be supportive. He had too much going on that he needed to sort out and handle, he couldn't handle one more thing right now. If Cory couldn't accept that this was what he wanted, what he needed, then he couldn't see him anymore, because he couldn't handle having constant arguments with his best friend.
"Ok hang on." Alan instantly jumped in.
Both him and Amy could tell both boys were running hot right now and the last thing either of them needed was to say something they couldn't walk back. Cory had been struggling over the past six months with everything going on with Shawn and now all of these changes were happening very quickly. It was natural for him to be struggling with it all. However, Shawn had every right to make changes to his life, especially if they were positive changes.
"Sweetie." Amy started, as she looked at Cory. "Shawn is right. This is his life and he has every right to feel safe and be happy. He has every right to put his mental health first. He has the right to change schools if he is not happy in the one he currently attends. I think you are having a hard time with this because it goes against the plan you had made for the both of you. But this is Shawn's plan and as his friend you should be supportive and happy for him. This school is a really great opportunity for Shawn."
"He's making emotional decisions. He's changing his whole life and he doesn't even know if he can do any of it. He should be living with Mr. Turner and going to school. He would be safe there and can just be a kid." Cory countered.
He didn't understand why Shawn would want to make all of these changes. He got that Shawn's life wasn't all that great, especially his childhood, but that didn't mean he should throw his whole life away and do something completely different.
"It's ultimately Shawn's decision on what he does and how he lives his life. As his best friend, it's your job to be supportive of him. Especially when the decisions Shawn has made are for his welfare." Alan explained. He knew that Cory would be upset with not having Shawn there at school, but eventually he would get used to the new dynamic between them. He was hoping that Cory would be more supportive though.
"Well, I can't be. Not of this. Not when my best friend is going to ruin his life. I can't be supportive of that." Cory said, as he tossed his hands up.
"Then you can't be in my life." Shawn said, as he stood up. He continued as he looked over at Alan and Amy. "I promise, I will stay in touch and let you know my address and how everything is going. I really appreciate everything you have done for me."
"We're going to be coming over at least once a week if we don't see you." Alan warned.
"That's fine. You're always welcome. I should head out. I'll be in touch soon." Shawn said with a warm smile before he made his way to the front door and headed out. It hurt knowing that his best friend wasn't going to be in his life, but Shawn was hoping that with time Cory would see that this new life was good for Shawn and he would come around. But if not, Shawn had to keep going forward. He had to do what was best for him, even if he had to lose his best friend in the process.