A/N: Thank you all so so much for all your kind words after last chapter! I know today is a hard day for many people, so if you'd like a smile, I hope you enjoy this chapter as well.
Hailey opens her fridge and pulls out a bottle of white wine she'd picked up earlier in the day at the grocery store. It'd been a rare Saturday off, but she still managed to find herself at the gym in the morning. She did one of her favorite YouTube videos for cycling on the bike before making her way into the empty studio and practicing for the yoga class she was going to be teaching on Monday night.
She wasn't good at sitting still. Various puzzles and brain teasers needed to be loaded on her phone for when she needed to take the bus around town. Snacks were necessary while watching a movie just so her hands had something to do. Music was necessary when doing mundane tasks like washing the dishes or folding laundry. She just couldn't let herself fully relax during quiet activities.
Except for yoga.
It was the only time that she allowed herself to slow down and let her mind drift. As she'd sit there on her mat, she could actually calm down and feel at peace. It didn't matter that her hands were still on her knees or her head was loose on her shoulders; she was quiet and didn't feel the need to fill the void. Instead, her focus could be on breathing or keeping her balance or simply on being alive. She would be present within the moment, and that was all she needed.
Tonight, she is very much planning on living in the moment with her friends. They typically have similar schedules and spend the majority of their evenings together, but there's something special about Saturday nights in the house with a bottle of wine that makes living together the most fun.
"Food will be here in half an hour," Kim announces as Hailey enters the living room.
She plops down in the corner of their large sectional and unscrews the lid to her wine. "Perfect," she replies, "That'll give us enough time to debrief before we get distracted."
Vanessa rolls her eyes and takes a long drink from her own bottle of wine. "Debrief makes it sound so official."
"Is it not?" Kim asks, "We need to catch up on the latest happenings. For example, I've finally been talking to a guy for more than forty-eight hours on Bumble, and he hasn't been gross yet. That's good!"
"Show me!" Hailey prompts, setting down her wine and holding her hands out.
Kim quickly scrolls through her phone then tosses it across the couch to Hailey. Immediately, Vanessa crawls over to look over the shoulder, and Hailey makes sure she can see the screen as she slowly scrolls through this new guy's profile.
His name's Adam, and his answers to the questions are funny, but it's the pictures that both Vanessa and Hailey are mostly interested in. His first picture is fine, but it's a mirror selfie and they both roll their eyes upon seeing it. There's one of him playing darts at a bar that Hailey thinks she's been to before. Two of him shirtless - one on the beach and the other with his feet in a kiddie pool in a backyard. And the last is of him and three other guys at what seems to be a house under construction.
"Zoom," Vanessa prompts.
Laughing, Hailey zooms in on the picture so they can get a look at Adam's friends. They're all wearing jeans, tool belts, and work boots. Two of them have baseball hats on; Adam's is backwards whereas his friend's is pushed up slightly so you can see his face better. Of the other two, one is holding up a hammer and the other has his hands in his pockets, but he's smiling wide. All of them seem to be the same age, which, according to Adam's profile, should be 25.
"Smash," Vanessa announces before sitting back in her spot, "Any of them, honestly. Perk that he has friends."
Kim holds back a laugh while grabbing her phone back. "He said they all work together for a home construction company. He's been doing a lot of woodworking lately, so that's his thing."
"Very cool," Hailey says, "So what's he like?"
"I mean, it's just been a couple days," Kim answers while staring at her phone. She shrugs slightly and says, "But this morning he sent me a 'good morning' text, and I haven't had anyone do that before. He's been asking me stuff about myself like what I do and what I'm interested in."
"How'd that go?" Vanessa asks, "Did you mention anything about your parents?"
"No, no," Kim says. She sets her phone to the side and grabs her wine for a sip. "I just said that I'm currently an assistant manager for a store, but I'll be moving soon to be a manager at a gym. That led us to yoga, which sometimes gets sticky because men are pigs, but he handled it well."
Hailey laughs. "You didn't get any 'so how flexible are you?'"
"No," Kim replies with a laugh, "He just said that's really cool, not his thing, but he'd be willing to try with me sometime."
"Not a bad answer," Vanessa says, "That is how I got Mac."
Hailey and Kim loudly groan, and Hailey even throws a pillow at her. "We hated Mac!" Kim yells.
"He was so gross," Hailey adds, "He just wanted sex with you. That was it."
"It wasn't bad!" Vanessa argues, "I liked it."
"Until he cheated on you," Kim reminds her.
"And gave you-" Hailey goes to finish, only for Vanessa to throw the pillow right back at her.
"Fine, fine," Vanessa sighs, "It wasn't a great relationship, especially at the end, but I was generally happier and more satisfied in those three months than I've been in the last four."
Hailey softens, and, out of the corner of her eye, she can see Kim lean back into her pillows more. "Have you…have you not been happy?" she asks quietly.
Vanessa glances at her and quickly catches on to her concerned tone. "I have been!" she assures, "I just mean…I haven't been out with a guy in a while or taken one home and it's just…" Shrugging, she picks at the label on her wine bottle. "I want to feel like I matter to someone."
"You matter to us," Kim says.
But they all know that's not at all what Vanessa is referring to.
The three of them are a family. From the moment they met, they all knew they had something special between them. They were this sort of misfit group of girls who didn't fit in with their past. Vanessa had bounced around a couple foster families before ending up with an older couple that were kind, but really not the parenting type that she would have wanted. When they didn't offer to adopt her or even help her out once she started college, she needed to figure out how to live on her own. Kim's parents had the money and drive to own as much of Chicago as they could, but they had so many high expectations placed on her that she felt like an employee rather than a daughter from the time she was old enough to mop up one of their countless businesses they kickstarted.
And Hailey's family was a mess.
An abusive father. A compliant mother. Two brothers that ran out as soon as they could. She felt alone for most of her life.
Relationships were not her strong suit. She tried dating guys throughout her twenties, and she found some good contenders, but no one that she could see herself with long term. They scared her, in a way. How could she trust that they weren't going to eventually hurt her? Most of them came from families that were just too perfect in her eyes. Not that she wanted to wish pain upon anyone, but she wanted to know that whoever she ended up with had grown throughout their life and actually experienced hardship that resulted in them coming out stronger in the end.
That wasn't exactly a first date conversation, though.
But what it didn't erase was her need, deep down, to break her family's history and actually have a successful relationship. Like Vanessa said, she wanted to feel like she mattered to some guy out there. She could handle herself and pay her own bills, but 'good morning' texts and surprise flowers and unexpected dates sounded fun. At times in her life, she did experience those things, and they made her heart flutter when they happened, and yet she could never hold onto it or trust it for long. She wanted to find some guy who not only held her in high regard as someone they could trust and rely on, but someone whom she could look to for comfort and excitement as well.
Maybe she had watched too many rom-coms throughout college with Kim and Vanessa, but she had faith that there was some guy out there who would be right for her. She just needed to hold out hope that he existed.
For years now, she had realized that she was a secret romantic. She didn't often talk about fairytale endings or even dream weddings, but she would read books that talked about childhood friends falling in love or a couple meeting at the airport, and she'd find herself kicking her feet in bed over all the cute ways life could play out for anyone. She craved it.
Coffee dates with a literature professor and his cat he snuck around places.
Wild trips across the country with a man who resembled her favorite childhood actor.
Late night talks with a man whose dreams were bigger than his bank account.
Delicious dinners with a chef amidst the nightly rush at his restaurant.
Cruises along Lake Michigan with a single dad and his two kids.
She'd take any of it if it meant she got to live out everything she deserved because she did deserve it all.
Hailey was strong enough to always know that she deserved to be treated with the respect and love and care that her mother never received. Her dream had been for years now to own her own yoga studio, but long before that, she'd dreamt of having a happy and loving marriage with a man who made her waffles in the morning and made her laugh so much throughout the day that she thought her stomach would burst. She was a good person who deserved a good life, and there was nothing wrong with believing it.
In fact, she manifested it. There were many times when she'd completely wipe her mind while meditating at the end of a yoga session, but there were also many times where she'd imagine the happiness that could eventually fall upon her if she were to be lucky enough to ever receive it.
She wasn't one for dating apps like Kim and Vanessa. Something about putting her pictures online and subjecting them to some men that viewed her more like a play toy than a human irked her. She knew that not all men were like that - Vanessa and Kim had gone on a handful of dates with guys that did turn out to be decent human beings - but there were enough out there that irked her and made her want to avoid them forever.
Unfortunately, she also wasn't the type of person with a million friends that could introduce her to cool guys or invite her to parties where she might just happen to meet the love of her life. She didn't like going out to bars alone in search of someone, and there really weren't a lot of men who would walk into her yoga class and be willing to strike up a conversation that could eventually lead to some sort of relationship. Finding guys to date was not her strong suit no matter how hard she wanted it to happen.
She just had to trust that when she was ready, she'd meet the guy that showed her she did matter.
Something they all wanted for themselves.
Vanessa sighs before taking a long sip from her wine bottle. Resting her head back against the couch cushions, she murmurs, "I do love you both. We'll get there."
Hailey hums and reaches over to squeeze her socked foot. "Of course, and until then…"
"Until then we'll be happy here, together," Kim finishes softly, "It's a good place to be."
Hailey smiles and nods. She slowly lets her lips shift into a smirk while staring Vanessa down.
"What?" Vanessa asks.
Hailey nods her head toward Kim and says, "There were three other guys in that picture on Adam's profile. If you want to be satisfied, then maybe Kim can get him to hook you up."
Any possible sadness quickly fades from Vanessa's face, and she breaks into a loud laugh. "No! I'm not letting a strange man set me up."
"He's not strange!" Kim defends, "I told you, he's not creepy."
"Not saying he is," Vanessa laughs, "Just saying I don't even know the man; how am I supposed to trust him to pick out a one night stand for me?"
"And if that's all you want, I don't know if I want him doing that for you either," Kim says. When Hailey looks at her and raises an eyebrow, she adds, "I can't have my potential boyfriend set my friend up with his friend just for a one night stand. It could make things awkward for all of us."
"Who says they're friends?" Hailey asks, "Those could just be coworkers."
"They're friends," Kim assures, "Adam said so."
Hailey hums and sips her wine. As she pulls the bottle back from her lips, she looks toward Vanessa to say, "You really just want a one night stand?"
Vanessa studies her back while drinking her wine, then nods. "I think I just need to scratch that itch. I don't need a boyfriend right now, just someone to have fun with."
"Then let's go," Kim says. Hailey and Vanessa look at her, so she holds up her phone. "Let's set up a Tinder for you."
"I don't need Tinder," Vanessa replies, despite her fingers toying with her phone in her lap, "I have a Bumble like you."
"Bumble's for dating," Kim counters, "Tinder's for a one night stand. Come on." She looks to Hailey and adds, "You too. You can't avoid online dating forever. It's good for you."
Hailey scoffs. "It is not good for me. I've told you, that's not my thing."
"But it could be moscato's thing," Vanessa says. She sits up to place her wine on the coffee table. "Come on, I'll make a Tinder, and you can make a Bumble."
"Yes!" Kim agrees, "You don't need to go hardcore like V-"
"Hardcore?" Vanessa repeats with a roll of her eyes, "Kim-"
"I'm just saying!" Kim says with a wave of her free hand, "We all know the two have different vibes. Hailey can start slow. Maybe eventually she'll get to where you are. What's it been since Drew anyways, Hail? Six months? It's time."
Hailey rolls her eyes. "If you're forgetting, I have had sex since then - thank you very much."
Vanessa scrunches her nose. "You slept with Frankie? You two went on like three dates."
"Four," Hailey corrects.
Before he brought up moving out of Chicago to her.
He didn't necessarily include her in those plans, but he talked about how that was his goal within the next year. Perhaps, by now, he already had moved to Michigan like he wanted.
Like her, he had big dreams. He was pursuing some sort of pharmaceutical job that sounded much too complicated for her to remember within their short time together. However, those dreams were starting to come true for him, and he had mentioned having a job interview in Kalamazoo. At the thought of putting her own dreams to the side just to follow a boy pursuing his, she cut things off. Even if he hadn't brought up doing a long distance relationship with her or asking if she wanted to come with him, she couldn't risk it happening. She needed to end things before they became too serious for their situation.
"When did it happen?" Kim asks, "I don't remember that at all."
Hailey sighs and takes a long sip of wine to gather herself before saying, "We fooled around in his car when he dropped me off after the second date, and then we had sex after the fourth date at his apartment. After that is when I broke things off."
"You had sex with a guy then ditched him?" Vanessa says, "Why the hell didn't you tell us?"
Because she was embarrassed. Hailey knew that what she did was pretty crappy, but as they'd been laying there in some sort of pleasant afterglow in his bed, that's when he'd whispered his plans to her about Michigan. She hadn't done it right then, but she'd gone back to her house, thought it over for three days while ignoring his texts, then finally called him to say she didn't think it was going to work out. Part of her worried that he'd think she was breaking up with him solely based on that one night they spent together, and she knew that would be immediately what her friends assumed as well.
It's what they assumed now.
"Was it that bad?" Kim asks before she can reply to Vanessa's question, "Was he small or something? He didn't make weird noises, did he?"
"No," she sighs, "It really wasn't about the sex at all. I liked that part. A lot actually."
Vanessa smirks and holds up her wine to her before taking a sip.
Hailey laughs as a blush crosses her cheeks, then shakes her head. "I don't know why I didn't tell you," she lies, "I didn't realize that you two wanted to know my every move. Sorry. If you want to know every single time I have sex, let me know and I can make a shared note on my phone with updates and ratings for each experience, but I expect you both to add to it as well."
Kim laughs with her. "That'd bring a whole new level to our friendship."
"Exactly," Hailey says with a soft laugh, sinking back into the cushions. Keeping her gaze steady on Vanessa, she, almost hesitantly, asks, "Are you mad that I didn't tell you?"
"Mad?" Vanessa quickly answers, "Hailey, come on, I'm not mad. I'm just a little surprised. We usually tell each other everything about our dates."
"And it's sex anyways," Kim adds, "We don't need to tell each other everything that goes on in our relationships."
"Unless we really do want to implement that note system Hailey mentioned," Vanessa teases.
Hailey laughs and feels her shoulders relax. "Not up my alley, but if you two want…"
"No."
"Yes."
They all burst into laughter at the difference in Kim and Vanessa's responses so quickly, all of them knowing that it would never happen. In the end, Hailey knew that neither of her friends would ever hold it against her that she'd kept some form of a secret related to a one time boyfriend that she'd seen for just under a month. That wasn't one of the things they truly cared about.
Her happiness.
Her dreams.
Her thoughts.
Those things mattered much more to them.
And one day she'd find someone else who held her in the exact same regard.
Until then, she helps Kim and Vanessa set up Vanessa's Tinder profile, even going as far as saying she'd take more revealing pictures of her friend if need be. Their wine was behind many of the decisions that they made regarding her bio and the pictures they landed on, and the food that eventually arrived did little to soak it up.
So much so that Hailey drunkenly agrees to downloading Bumble. She'd done it once years ago, but that just meant it needed a lot of updating in all regards. Luckily for her, Kim helped her connect it to the TV just like they'd done for Vanessa so everyone could see her screen as she worked.
Deep down, she is still incredibly nervous about putting herself out there on an app. Anything really could happen and any guy could have access to staring at her pictures. However, the wine eases that deep seated anxiety and leads to her laughing harder than she could remember doing in weeks.
Falling into her bed hours later, she finds herself staring at the variety of slightly unhinged pick-up lines she'd sent nearly two dozen men over the last few hours. There were some that were the exact same as things that Vanessa sent just to see how different guys would react. Kim gave them a few of her go-tos that she was proud of, including the one that'd somehow hooked Adam. She even asked Adam for fun lines that her friends could send, and they picked out a couple of their favorites to include.
With her room spinning around her, Hailey locks her phone and sets it on her side table without even bothering to plug it in. A handful of the guys had responded to her, some of the responses funny, one oddly rude, and the others were almost boring in her current state of mind. If she wasn't struggling to stay awake through all the alcohol, maybe she'd try responding, but, right now, that seems like a problem for another day.
For now, all she needs is a good night's sleep, a handful of Aleve, and a tall glass of water.
Sunday morning comes, and Jay feels lazy. His dad pisses him off, but he did one thing right with Halstead Homes: promises that his employees won't work a single Sunday. Still, it doesn't mean Jay forgives him for anything he's said or done.
He hasn't spoken to his dad since the Tuesday before when they got into a fight at Will's "birthday" dinner. There were the daily emails reminding him of what he was expected to do for work, but nothing personal. No apologies. No invites to lunch. No thanks for a job well done. Nothing.
He doesn't mind. It's easier that way. He can deal with his dad as just a boss. He doesn't need a dad to survive.
His mom, on the other hand, is a whole different story.
He hasn't heard from her since that night either, and that does haunt him. Since he came home from war, she had been extremely protective of him. When he moved in with her and his dad, she drove him to nearly all of his appointments and would sit with him when he couldn't even get out of bed. As he recovered, she gave him a little more space, but he always knew she was there for him. She'd leave out notes for him in his room, text him throughout the day, and still offer to drive him anywhere he needed. Once he and Mouse had enough money to move out of the house and into an apartment of their own, she kept up with her texts and added random visits filled with food and basic supplies to keep their place clean and running smoothly.
Not hearing from her for five days is weird.
The last time it'd been this long since even just a simple message from her, he was actually in the army. Even then, though, he was sure to find an email from her or a letter in the mail more often than not.
He stares at his ceiling from his bed and hates himself.
She hadn't deserved to be pulled into the middle of that argument with his dad. Even if he didn't outright say anything to her or try making her pick sides, he should have known better. Watching him struggle to survive and return to a new normal version of life was the worst thing she had gone through - he'd heard her whisper it to enough people to know. There was no good reason for him to remind her of what had happened.
The memories were hazy, but they definitely existed of him waking up in a hospital room with her by his side and his dad in the corner, both staring at him and listening to the monitors keep track of his heart rate. Her eyes had been red as if she either hadn't slept in days or had been crying nonstop - he knew either was possible. When she'd grabbed his hand to assure him that she was there and that he was alive, her fingers were shaking, and her skin was cold. He didn't know she could look and act scared like that.
There were nights when her face that day haunted his dreams. He often relived the explosion while he slept, and then wake just as his mom's terrified and upset expression filled his mind. He didn't know which was worse: the physical pain or the mental anguish knowing what he'd put his mother through.
That mental and emotional pain was strong this morning.
The night before, he'd gone out for a couple drinks with Mouse, Kevin, and Adam. As he and Mouse continued working on their alcohol intake after too many drunken nights during their recovery, they only stuck to drinking when they were out with their friends. They didn't keep beer or liquor in the apartment just in case any temptations hit them, but that didn't mean that they were safe from the occasional hangover.
With his head pounding, Jay presses the heels of his palms into his eyes and breathes in slowly. He always feels worse about what had happened to him in Afghanistan when he's fighting a morning-after headache, and today is no different. He knows it's probably because of that fight with his parents, but that doesn't make it any easier.
Through the walls, he can hear Mouse throwing up in the bathroom and rolls his eyes. It's something Mouse has done since they started drinking years before: force himself to get sick the next morning because he thinks it prevents a true hangover from sinking in.
Jay hates it and thinks it's stupid.
He pulls at his extra pillow and presses it into his face. He should drink water and drag himself out of bed to get some sort of food in his system, but there is absolutely no part of him that feels like doing any of that, especially if Mouse is hogging the bathroom at the moment.
But an insistent knocking begins somewhere in the distance, and he sighs to himself because he knows this is the thing that's going to force him out of bed.
"Mouse!" he yells, "Can you get that?"
There's another loud retching noise in the bathroom before Mouse replies, "I gotta brush my teeth. You get it!"
"You're such an idiot," Jay hisses as he pushes out of bed.
The knocking continues, which just pisses Jay off even more as he searches for a pair of pajama pants he can throw on before leaving his bedroom. He can hear Mouse brushing his teeth in the bathroom, and it just causes him to roll his eyes again. There have got to be better ways to beat a hangover than purposely making yourself get sick.
He looks through the peephole of the apartment door, and his stomach drops: his mom is standing on the other side with a large brown paper bag in hand. She sighs and reaches forward to knock again.
Just as her fist leaves the door, he pulls it open and says, "What're you doing here?"
Carrie glances him up and down then sighs again and walks inside. "No 'good morning' or 'hi, Mom, it's been a while.'"
He winces as he closes the door and turns to see her setting the bag on the counter in the kitchen. "Good morning, Mom, how're you? It's been a while."
She shoots him a look that harshly resembles disappointment before beginning to unpack the food she'd brought. Once she has cream cheese and bagels set out on the counter, she gestures toward the bar stool opposite her and says, "Sit."
Jay blushes and glances toward the bathroom door before nodding and doing as his mom asked.
Carrie studies him for a moment then lets out a breath. Walking around the counter, she stops in front of him and murmurs, "I almost lost you on the other side of the world. I'm not about to lose you right here in Chicago."
"Mom, you didn't-"
"Jay."
His cheeks flare red again, and he closes his mouth.
"You were right," Carrie continues softly, "Your dad doesn't acknowledge what happened to you often, but it's not because he doesn't care or remember; it's because getting that call that you were being brought to Walter Reed haunts him every single day. Did you know he's the one they called?"
Jay's blood freezes. He didn't know that.
He really doesn't know much about what had happened back here in Chicago that day when they were notified of his return, and he's not quite sure that he wants to know. Will had told him that their parents were messed up by the entire situation, but he had assumed that. He really could have died that day, and she could have lost him like she'd said.
Carrie softens in front of him and sets her hands on the sides of his face to ensure he is looking at her as she speaks. "Baby, they called him while he was putting in the electrical at Aunt Joan's house. They told him that his son was getting airlifted back to the States with a couple other remaining soldiers. They could tell him that you were alive, but they didn't have much else to add. He booked a flight for the two of us before even calling me to tell me what he knew. He carried the weight of that day on his shoulders so I didn't have to."
"I didn't know," he quietly admits because that's all he can think to say.
There is guilt swirling in his stomach like he knows his mom had planned, but there's also something like anger and sadness. If his dad was carrying all of this still, then maybe he should treat his youngest son with a little more respect and care. He didn't have to act like Jay was such a screw up all the time. It wasn't his fault that he almost died; he didn't plan or want that to happen.
"He loves you," Carrie says before pulling him into a tight hug, "We both do. I hate that you two fight like this."
Jay sighs and wraps his arms around her. "I'm sorry."
Mostly for how it's affected his mom and the stress he's caused her.
Maybe a little bit for how he's treated his dad.
Some for himself too because this feeling has sucked the past few days.
Carrie quickly kisses his cheek as she steps backwards. "You need to apologize to your father."
"Mom," Jay sighs.
Annoyance fills him again, and he almost wishes he'd said nothing.
Carrie lightly pats his face. "I'm not saying you're the only one who needs to apologize: your father was also very wrong. He needs to stop ignoring you and pushing you and Greg so hard when you're both still recovering."
Jay can't help but wince at that. His mom had been incredibly helpful for the last year, but she'd been about as much of a helicopter parent as she could have been for a 26 year-old man. He appreciated it while also wishing she would have given him more space to get better on his own.
He couldn't stand that his dad came across so crass most days, and yet there was something about it that he actually didn't mind. It was kind of nice to have a conversation with his dad that didn't revolve around therapy or doctor appointments or VA meetings. His dad was treating him just like he had before he'd been sent back home. It was like nothing had happened, but maybe that was the point of it. He could forget about being in the hospital and all his nightmares if he was forced to just live his life and move on.
A part of him wonders if that's really the smart thing to do, and he knows he should probably dig into this more, but his headache is really starting to sink in and the bathroom door opens so that Mouse can join them in the kitchen.
"I thought I heard your voice!" he exclaims, "What's up, Mrs. Halstead?"
She turns toward him and smiles while tilting her head to the side. "What have we said about forcing yourself to get sick after drinking?"
Mouse's smile falls off his face, and he murmurs, "You can tell?"
"I know you both," Carrie says. She nods toward their bedrooms and says, "Go put some shirts on, and then we can have breakfast. I brought you bagels - something that might actually help you feel better."
"You really are the best," Mouse replies before turning and heading into his room.
Jay lets out a breath as he gets off the stool. "Thanks, Mom."
She hums and starts going through his drawers to find a knife. "How much did you have last night?"
Jay stops from walking away and asks, "What?"
Carrie sighs while looking up at him and repeats, "How much did you have to drink, Jay?"
He blushes and opens his mouth, so that, in turn, Carrie raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms.
"Maybe three beers and a tequila shot," he finally answers, "Enough to get a headache and an Uber, not enough to black out or anything like that."
Carrie purses her lips then says, "If you're sure."
"Very sure," he assures, "We had the same. We're doing good. Promise."
She hums again, but he can still see the hesitation and worry on her face, so he crosses the room to hug her tightly.
"We're okay," he whispers, "It was just a night out with friends."
"I worry," Carrie whispers back. She pulls back to put a hand on the side of his face. "You need to be safe. I can't lose you, okay? I know you don't like when I worry this much, and I know you don't like when I'm on your case, but I'm your mom, and I'm never going to stop. Do you understand?"
"Clearly."
Carrie smiles slightly and pats his cheek before gesturing toward his room. "Go put some clothes on."
He chuckles and nods. "Yes, ma'am."
Walking away, he rubs his face and closes the door the second he's in his room. He absolutely hates when his mom worries about him. There are certain situations where he gets it: when he went to war, when he was in the hospital, maybe even when he gets on a plane. But with drinking? No. He doesn't want her worrying about his drinking habits.
Maybe he did have a rough patch where there were a couple weeks where he drank beer and whiskey more than he drank water. It wasn't a good look, and he accepted it. He shouldn't have done it. But that didn't mean she had to continue worrying about him like that. He was a grown man who lived in an apartment and had a full-time job. He didn't need his mom worrying about him.
"Yeah, we were good, promise."
Mouse's voice floats through the door, and Jay sighs while pulling a t-shirt on. Mouse loves his mom like his own, and he knows it's because Mouse doesn't have one of his own. Mouse, though, doesn't seem to have the same amount of guilt that he has regarding his mom worrying about them.
"We almost died, man, let her hover," Mouse had said one night after closing the apartment door behind her. She'd stopped over just two days after they'd moved out with groceries and frozen meals for them, and while Jay had appreciated it, he'd known it was just so she could make sure they were alive and surviving on their own.
"She's got her own stuff going on," Jay had sighed in response because she did.
She was also an adult with her own world. She had bills and meals to make and a part time job at a preschool and his dad. She had way more on her plate than the two of them did, so there was no reason she should have been out here worrying about them.
"It's just love, does it really scare you that much?" Mouse had countered, "And, it's love from your mom. That's never a bad thing. Trust me."
Jay hadn't been able to argue with that. He was well aware of how Mouse felt about his mom based upon his own upbringing, and that made it hard to keep pushing. After the life Mouse had, he did deserve to have someone care about him, even if he was 26 years-old.
"No, just Adam and Kevin. I tried getting Jay to text Allie, but he said no."
At that, Jay's eyes widen, and he rushes out of his room to put an end to whatever conversation Mouse is trying to have with his mom.
"Why didn't you invite Allie out with you?" Carrie asks the second she hears his feet hurrying into the kitchen.
Jay shoots Mouse a look that he hopes communicates how annoyed he is, and Mouse simply responds with a smirk as he pours himself a cup of coffee.
"Because we were talking about work stuff. She didn't need to hear about that."
Mouse laughs, and Carrie simply raises an eyebrow.
"Work stuff?" she repeats, "You four were having a staff meeting at the bar on a Saturday night?"
"Not a staff meeting," Jay sighs, "Just…some of the conversation went to work, and you know how annoying it can be when the people you're with are talking about work or just stuff in general that doesn't involve you."
"She's your girlfriend, I'm sure she'd love to listen about your work," Carrie counters. She slides a plate closer to Jay then passes him a napkin. "When was the last time you two went out?"
Jay wants nothing to do with Mouse now, but he can feel his friend staring at him as he prepares his bagel.
"Like a week ago," he quietly admits without looking up from his cream cheese.
"Jay, if you're dating a girl, you should see her more often than just once a week."
"Mom."
"I know, I know, but still. She's a good girl."
Jay shakes his head then walks around the island to sit next to her.
In another world - ten years ago - Allie was his girlfriend. She lived not far from him, and they met in Chemistry when her usual lab partner was sick and Mouse was suspended, and they ended up going to prom together during their senior year. She was super nice and very fun, but it was a high school thing. He broke up with her before joining the army. He didn't want to put her through all that.
For the first year of his tour, she still sent him letters and kept in touch as she navigated Chicago State University. She was off to become a teacher - a big reason why his mom loved her so much - whereas he was off fighting a war. Even if they weren't dating, he enjoyed hearing about the classes she was taking and the people she was meeting. She was living a life he couldn't see for himself, but it was still entertaining.
As her first year came to a close, her letters became less and less. He was able to find out through social media that she'd moved on with a guy named Bill, some gym guru who looked like he could knock him out with one punch. Jay liked to think he was strong, but then he'd be reminded of Allie's ex and he suddenly became one of the most introverted people he knew.
They broke up by the end of the summer, but it was enough to keep Allie away. He frequently wondered about what she was doing and how school was going, but he never reached out to ask. He didn't want to overstep. Not when he'd been the one to break up with her the year before.
He didn't hear from her at all until just this last year when he'd come home. He'd been at the store with his dad, picking up a prescription for one of the countless pills he was on upon his return to the States, when she'd quite literally run into him. She hadn't hurt him, but seeing him in a sling with a line of stitches along his jaw had certainly scared her, and she wanted to make it up to him by buying him a meal. There had been a bit of him that was embarrassed by the fact, but he really did want to at least spend an hour of his time with her.
They weren't dating; they just hung out together every once in a while.
They've made out since he came home, and there were a few alcohol infused nights that ended with them falling into bed together, especially since he'd gotten his own apartment.
But they weren't dating.
Allie met another guy a couple months ago, and they went on two dates before she called Jay and asked if he wanted to meet up with her for a drink. It was all in good fun. He liked spending time with her, and she made him laugh and forget about the war. In a way, it was like they were in high school again, but now they could legally drink while doing all the same dumb stuff.
His parents found out they were "dating" a couple months before from Allie's parents. No matter what the two of them said or denied, their parents didn't believe them. They wanted their children to be dating just like they'd done in high school, so that's what they were going to see.
"And, Greg, what about you?" Carrie asks once Jay stops responding to her about Allie, catching that he wants and needs the conversation to stop right now.
"What about me?" Mouse counters. He bites into his bagel and stares her down, earning a smile to spread across her face.
"Are you dating anyone?" Carrie says, "Have you met anyone lately?"
"Mrs. Halstead, I meet a lot of people," Mouse answers, and Jay laughs loudly at that, "And some of them do happen to be wonderful young ladies."
"Oh my god," Jay murmurs through a mouthful of food.
Carrie laughs with them and shakes her head. "As long as you're respectful."
"I am, I am," Mouse assures, "I'm a good guy. Jay can testify to that."
Jay snorts, but still nods. Mouse is a good guy. Even when they were making their way through most of the girls at the bars during their first few months home, he never once hurt one of them. He was blunt, and he'd say he was in it just to blow off some steam, and there were a handful of girls that turned him down for that, but if a girl was willing to spend a few hours with him, he was going to treat her right. There were two girls that he'd dated since coming home - Kelly and Michelle - but neither of those relationships lasted longer than three months.
"We're just on different paths," Mouse had told him both times he'd announced his break ups, "But we're good. I'm good."
With Kelly, it had been because he'd been the one who initiated the break up, but with Michelle, he had ended up in a bottle of whiskey for two nights in a row after she told him they needed to take a step back and slow down. The Michelle break up was just the month before, and he was just now getting out of the rut.
Carrie didn't know that, though, and Jay knew that was because no matter what Mouse said about his mom loving them and worrying about them, she would have been at their door as soon as she found out with a hot pan of meatloaf for him to cheer him up.
"You are both great men," Carrie says while looking between the two of them, "And I want you both happy, understood?"
"Yes."
"Of course."
Jay has a feeling there's about to be a but to this conversation. She came over here on a mission, and he knew it wasn't going to end with her just telling him that she and his dad worried about him. Mouse meets his eyes, and Jay knows they're on the exact same page.
"So I think I found you a job."
Mouse raises an eyebrow, and Jay turns back to her. "Mom, we have a job with Dad, remember?"
"I know, that's not what I'm saying," Carrie says, waving her hands, "I'm not getting you a new job, I'm just getting you a job that you can work through Halstead Homes."
"Like a client?" Mouse asks.
Carrie nods. "Last week, I overheard my yoga instructor talking with her friends about a place they just bought. They're going to open a new studio, but they were saying it could use some work. I think you two, and maybe you can include Kevin and Adam, can do it. It'll allow you to really get out there and set more of your own schedule and do what you want."
"Uh." Jay wipes his mouth with the back of his hand then straightens up in his seat. "That…that's cool, but that's not really how Dad works. Dad tells us-"
"I know what your dad tells you," Carrie interrupts, "And we can all be in agreement that he makes you do too much sometimes. I am willing to talk to him about this and see if he's willing to let you two take this job as your own while still under his name. They're three girls probably around your age, and they're probably not going to be able to afford something high end or crazy expensive. They need a construction company that's just starting out, and while your dad's company doesn't exactly fit that category, I think we could convince him to lower the price if it's the two of you running the thing instead of him."
"I…I don't know," Jay sighs.
He would love to someday have his own business doing just that - helping others get a start in their business for a reasonable price - but this felt wrong. He could see his dad arguing and saying that they had never done something of this caliber on their own. He wouldn't know how much work was to go into it and what exactly they'd have to do. There could be electrical and flooring and demo and plumbing and more things than he probably knew how to do. All the reasons why his dad would turn them down.
"You really think you could get Mr. Halstead on board with that?" Mouse asks, "Because that's a…that's a pretty big ask."
Carrie nods. "If he wants you two to eventually move on, then he needs to let you two try things out on your own. And it's just a yoga studio, it can't be that bad, right?"
Jay isn't too sure about that, but he still nods to at least please his mom right now.
"So, I'll give you two the address to the studio they're at now, and you can stop by to meet the girls," Carrie says while pulling her phone out, "You can turn it down, but you need to actually meet them first and see the property. Once you do that and have a better idea, I'll bring it up with Dad, and we'll go from there."
Watching her share the location of the studio with them both, Jay sucks in a breath and takes another bite of his bagel, but it's a little hard to swallow. His dad might not be his favorite person in the world and he's still rather pissed at him, but he does respect the man for his business and doesn't want to overstep. He also doesn't want to throw his mom under the bus, but he doesn't want to take claim to this idea and then get in even more trouble.
He doesn't know if his mom's idea is going to end well, but as Mouse pulls his phone out of his pajama pants pocket to confirm that he received the text, he knows he's going to have no choice.
He has to at least go meet the girls and pray that his dad doesn't rip his head off for doing it.
Or worse.
Fire him.
A/N: Let me know what you think? I'll see you next week for a chapter I've been excited to share since writing it :) Thanks for reading!