A week went by. The more Mulan spent time with Suying the more she understood how special Suiko's and Zetian's friendship was. She began to learn there were bonds that were inseparable by anything, race, war…and men. And so, she decided to come clean and told Suying about her past with Shang. Suying was, unsurprisingly, very cool about it.
"You have a child together?"
"One, he was adopted though," Mulan had purposely excluded Min-Lung because it was unfair for the girl to have an absent person as her mother and a 'dead' defector as her father. "Shang is very good with him."
"Was he? Because looking at his social ineptitude, I feel he is much suited to be an ascetic hermit, hiding on the top of a mountain somewhere. Not a married man with a wife and a child."
Mulan stifled a chuckle, "He was so fond of Wentai when he cried, Shang almost started crying too. I'm not joking."
Suying smiled, "How old is he now?"
"Five, his birthday next month," Mulan said, unwittingly sounding sad and sentimental. It was hard not to miss her children, especially Min Lung.
When Min Lung was born, she remembered being extremely territorial about her children. Right then, Shao was the only person she trusted around them, until one night, after a long month of visiting every newly opened girl's school in one of the provinces, she found both of them were….gone! Soon, she found out that her children had been ushered to the Empress sanctum. She nearly killed the servant who was in charge, only to find out that her children were moved there under the Empress' order.
Her fury exploded in an instant as she stormed into Zetian's quarter, ready to challenge her authority although technically as a concubine, she had no rights over her offspring.
Despite the servant's warning call, she barged into the Empress' living room and straight into her bedroom, only to find Wentai in the middle of the Empress' bed, drolling over the expensive hand-embroidered pillow, and Zetian, lying asleep on an awkward position on the settee with Min Lung snoring on her chest, dry saliva mark was all over her silk sleeping gown.
"Consort Fa," squeaked a terrified voice of the attendance next to her. When Mulan's head finally caught up with her thoughts, she finally gave the poor servant all her attention. "Yes?"
The maid fell to the floor, voice shaking. "Forgive us, Honorable Fa. Last week Princess Min Lung developed a fever. It's….nothing serious. But the Empress wanted to keep an eye on her, so… so she ordered both of them to move here until you came back and well rested. She… Her Majesty insisted, and had been taking care of them and putting them both to bed personally."
Her anger doused right on the spot. Back then, none of them were even aware that Zetian was pregnant and she wasn't playing the expectant mother's card to get the attention she deserved. For someone who lived lavishly all her life, Zetian was astonishingly tough. Mulan suddenly felt ashamed for misjudging her just because people always framed them as rivals or her as an evil stepmother.
So, right now… sitting here hundreds li away from her children, it wasn't the thought of being separated from them that made her feel most miserable, but the idea of them not having a normal, happy and simple life. She always imagined them having parents who loved and cherished them, instead, they would have an absent mother, an estranged biological father who hated their adopted father, and an emotionally damaged stepmother.
It was all expected. Living in court was not going to be ordinary or easy. Nonetheless, Mulan had always wanted her children to be kind, compassionate and grateful people with or without their riches. She wanted them to appreciate life's simple happiness. In doing so, she arranged to spend three weeks every two months at Yue's.
As a doting husband, Shao would normally join. And not to make things awkward among them, Yue had graciously made an excuse of having a vacation for most of the weekend on the duration they were there.
They usually enjoyed their time there, being a normal, average citizen who led a life like everyone else. Occasionally, Mulan had to go and do groceries herself. Leaving Shao alone with the children.
It was all sunshine and rainbow until one weekend, Min Lung accidentally banged her head on the tip of the table. Panicked Shao, ran her to the nearby healers. To which the most interesting conversation took place.
"Can I help you sir?" asked the lady at the front desk who didn't recognise her Emperor in layman's clothing (Shao said the lack-of-sleep eyes, out-of-bed hair, and flea-market clothing were an excellent disguise). But she did ogle at his handsome face a little. Just a little.
"Yes. Shebangedherheadonthetableandshe'sbleeding. Canweseeahealernow?" he blurted in one unpunctuated sentence.
"Are you her father?" she asked and without much thinking Shao shook his head.
"Who are you then?"
Shao blinked and just realised how absurd his answer was and quickly recovered. "I'm sorry, yes, I am her father," and laughed nervously when he realised all eyes of every living creature in the waiting room were on him. "I mean, who else… right?"
The woman gave him a suspicious look, and he tried to remain calm. Yelling at her would solve nothing, and she was probably right to be cautious. Suddenly he caught his picture painted on the tabloid with headlines, "The birth of the illegitimate princess."
He showed it triumphantly to the woman. "Look! That's me."
The woman took the tabloid from his hand, before staring at him with a slight mock (because no way the Emperor appeared in haphazard clothing, without any security details in sight, in a village clinic). "So she is your illegitimate child," she said, somehow with a degree of disrespectfulness considering she was talking to her Emperor. Not that anyone could care less about the title in this situation.
"Exactly!" he said, ignoring the attention and coherent murmur of the entire waiting room. The salacious gossip was especially rampant during his engagement with pregnant Mulan, and he had played the role of a supportive husband so the public would assume the baby was his. "So I demand to see a doctor. Now!"
Mulan arrived not long after, to a room full of silent, tense stares. "Shao, what happened?" she whispered as she placed her bag next to him. "Long story," he said, not wanting to say he had unwittingly created an unwanted controversy.
Shao was a formidable fighter and an imposing figure, but right now he looked like a distressed father who hadn't slept for weeks. Five-month-old Min Lung, on the other hand, was already calmed down and trying to nibble Shao's finger instead.
"You rushed her here for this?" she raised her brow at him after examining the wound. Yes, it was a cut, but hardly a hospital material.
"She was bleeding!" he said defensively, still clinging to the baby in his arm fiercely (and Mulan thought it should be the other way around).
"That's not what you told Mei Lan… it almost sounds like her brain matter leaked out of her skull," she said with a teasing glint. "I thought you've seen worse stuff during our training."
"I'm…" he was still fiercely cradling Min Lung. "I'm just worried, okay!"
Mulan smiled, whispering some words of comfort to his ears, before asking, "What did you say to these people? They looked… shocked."
"Not much… I did chat a bit with a few people," and Mulan caught a few ladies smiling coquettishly towards them (well, maybe 'him'... and the stare of mockery and disdain was for her). "There were a few marriage proposals and picture requests." She should've not been surprised. When a hot guy did anything, even the most mundane activity like carrying a baby, cleaning the toilet or breathing…. girls were bound to watch.
"I'll take Di-Tan on our next trip," he muttered, still looking on edge as he gently bounced now sleepy Min Lung on his lap. "What could possibly take them so long?!"
"Welcome to commoner's life," Mulan decreed. "This is normal," she accessed the size of the queue in the waiting room.
"You mean, we have to….wait?" Shao glanced at her in horror until Min Lung planted one sloppy kiss on his cheek and cooed some intelligible sound half asleep. The little girl seemed to have a touch of magic that calmed him down.
"It'll be fine. People don't die that easily in the healer's waiting room," Mulan tried to reassure him. He was no longer tense but still looked miserable.
When finally a doctor called his name, Shao almost wept.
Yes, Shao was not Min Lung's nor Wentai's biological father, but he was her father in every other way that counted. After countless nights of tucking them in bed, reading them bedtime stories, and kissing them goodnight… he had developed this special bond with her children.
And after all these years of knowing him, befriending him, marrying him… trusting him, Mulan had seriously entertained the possibility of spending the rest of her life with him—as his perfect bride.
Even though she was still not at the stage of handing her heart to him, she willed herself to be open to the possibility: to love again, to feel alive again. In her mind, it was just a matter of time before she finally fell in love with him. Yes, she was strong, but she was not made of stone. He was kind and charming, and she decidedly entrusted him with the most fragile piece of her, and he…
Love is not about receiving, love is about giving. Suddenly her late mother's words surfaced. If you want to learn to love, you must learn to give. You must learn to love him unconditionally. It means you care about his happiness more than your own, no matter how much pain it may bring you.
"Mulan?" Suying's call stopped her daydream."You ok?"
"Yeah… I'm… I'm fine," she stammered, and suddenly realised tears were racing down the corner of her eyes. Suying handed her the handkerchief but was gracious enough not to ask her anything.
Altan was pacing inside her yurt, thoughts running in different directions when Ping entered the tent, giving her a quick bow.
"Princess, you summon me?"
"Yes?" she said almost curtly, looking at her wheezing form at the threshold of her tent. Soot and mud were all over her hair and shirt. And the girl's trousers looked wet with something smelling like… food. "What did you burn this time?"
"The… the soup," Ping answered, hastily dusting her appearance to the best she could.
"Soup? How could you possibly…?" Altan huffed, realising it was her nerve that was talking. "Never mind." She should not been surprised, really. Falling into trouble was part of Ping's daily mischief.
"Look at this." Unceremoniously, she handed her the scroll. Ping's eyes dilated realising the insignia of the Middle Kingdom bore on its seal.
"A letter from… Shao?"
She nodded. Ping took it with baited breath and started reading.
It was a letter of apology from Shao over the incident that happened months ago. He said in his letter, that he regretted his action of rudely dismissing the Princess and rejected her request for assistance. Now, as the situation with the Qin kingdom and rebel group arose, he was writing to the Hun Princess to offer a coalition.
Seeing the rebel's desire to remove any monarch would be posing a similar threat to you, I would like to extend this offer of partnership, it read.
Altan snorted at its content. Partnership? My foot. He could only offer partnership if it benefitting him. Shao had never cared about her, not one bit. After what happened in Wuzong, after losing Timur, and after that explosion that nearly killed her, she knew he saw her as a mere means to an end. But, despite all the facts, her mind still considered his request. It was frustrating! Perhaps, deep down her heart was still…
"This might be the idea coming from his advisor," Ping's voice cut her thought. "But it does seem odd that he wants to have an audience just with you, and 'two Huns maidservant of your choosing'," she read out the text. Normally to sign a pact, one should be allowed to bring at least a contingency of advisor and Generals as their witness.
"The meeting point is in one of the tea houses in Xi'an. He promised he would not have any of his generals with him, no soldiers. Just him and a eunuch."
This could be a trap. Ping's eyes said. But she pressed her lips to swallow a remark.
Given Shao's track record, Altan understood she shouldn't take this kind of promise at its face value. But her zealous desire to finally talk to him, to finally ask him why he dared betray her trust, outweighed any other logical sense to simply dump the letter to the bin.
"I know what you're thinking. But I'll take my chances," Altan told Ping.
"This is a dangerous mission, I don't want to take one of the Huns." No, not after Timur. She won't ever let any of her warriors die a vain death like he was.
Quietly, Ping worked out the list in her head, "Does that mean… you are taking General Tarkhan?" He was the only non-Hun General around. An obvious choice.
"Yes," she said. "But you'll be coming too."
Ping's brows climbed to her hairline. "Me?"
"I'm not expecting you or Tarkhan to confront him," she clarified. "I want you both to just… be there." Although the thought of angry Ping facing jealous Shao and confused Shang would be a major interesting drama to watch. "If Shao suddenly cornered me, with you—I will have a leverage."
"Geez, I'm honoured," Ping rolled her eyes, but there was no real objection in her tone.
"Are you seriously not worried about having two ex-Chinese soldiers accompanying you on this trip?"
Technically, should they decide to turn their back at her, it would be two against one. But Altan knew something these two Chinese warriors didn't. She flicked a gaze and snorted. "Ack, you won't do it. You can't do it."
"You think I won't have a gut to hurt you?" Ping frowned.
"Do you think I don't know you at all? I can tell from this conversation alone that cruelty isn't in your nature."
Unexpectedly Ping's expression hardened. "You don't know the first thing about my nature!"
Altan raised a single brow. "Don't I? I know what it is when someone you trust betrays you. When they lie to you for their own gain. How deeply the hatred runs; how the despair infects your bones and rots you from the inside. I know how helpless you must feel and how frightened. If not for him, your husband, Li Shang, might still be with you. Yes, Shao might not be the one who executed him, but his writ had done the same. And you are fooled into marrying him," she scoffed, recalling Ping's conversation with Suying that she overheard. "Yet, here you are quite happily using the 'kidnapping' cover story as a means to hide from reality."
Unlike Ping, Altan was determined to dig the truth out of him. To ask him why he did what he did. Why did he betray the sweet, innocent friendship that they built since they were small, why did he break his promise? She would make him pay! And why, after he took everything, he still dared to break her hea…-
"You… you still love him don't you?" Ping's voice interrupted her mindless drivel.
She glared at her. "You…!"
"It's ok. Sometimes you can hate someone but that doesn't mean you don't miss them. I get it," Ping replied patiently. "My father told me, love is like a sword. The sharper the blade, the deeper the cut."
Altan ignored the remark, crossing her arms "As I said, it is a dangerous mission. You'd better be prepared," she warned.
Ping just shrugged and seemed unconcerned about her fate. "I'm sure I've received worse curveballs in these past few years of my life."
"Ok, so pack your stuff for tomorrow," she commanded, gesturing a universal sign of dismissal.
"Does your father know?" Ping asked as she stood by the threshold of the yurt.
That was an unexpected concern coming from the hero of her enemy's country.
"Why do you ask?"
Ping shook her head and reiterated herself, "Does he know you are going to the enemy territory with virtually no backup?"
The previous mission had bereft the Khan of one of his best warriors, Timur, and the second one after that they nearly killed his only daughter. But yet, Alton couldn't ignore her thirst for the answers from that foreign prince…
"My father will know soon enough," she said. She promised herself this would be the last attempt. "I am not that easy to kill, you know. I will be back… for my countrymen, and so are you… You will be back to your children….and Tarkhan. Do you know he is engaged to be married next month?" According to Huns law, even prostitutes could have a second chance if there was a man who was willing to buy her out and marry her.
"That's… that's what… what I gathered." Ping was trying to keep a straight face. Even if she never considered competing with Suying, knowing the girl's situation must've made her feel awful that she still kept a fragment of feelings for Tarkhan. It almost made Altan feel bad for telling Ping.
"And… the messenger that Shao sent to carry this letter," Altan felt oddly remorseful. Ping was just a pin in her chessboard, yet, she felt like the girl trusted her like… a friend. "They... want to have a moment with you. And I promise you, after this… I will let you go. You are free to go home if you want to."
It wasn't her statement of release that seemed to register in Ping's brain. "The messenger wants a moment with me?" She tilted her head, utterly confused.
"Messengers," Altan corrected.
When she opened the door, two men hurled towards Ping, knocking her down to the floor.
It was already in the evening when Princess Altan paid a sudden visit to his tent. Shang was outside, enjoying his dinner alone, as usual, watching the constellation throw a party in early spring night.
"Your Highness," he saluted, head running lots of possible scenarios of what the urgent matter was going to be.
"General Tarkhan, the time has come that I should give you this," the Princess announced, producing a canister from under her robe. "This is something that I found inside your half-burnt sack on the day you…" She stopped herself and stuck out her hand. "I have Arban copy the original content to this parchment."
He should really ask her why now. but at that point in time, anxious curiosity just pulled his mind to open the parchment.
Shang took a deep breath and started reading.
My son,
When you read this, we both know what has happened, but I am sure I've prepared you well when the day comes. My personal belongings, if there were any, will be sent home. Your good taste will tell you which one you can wear.
Shang laughed to himself, warmth in his heart building imagining the smile on his father's lips as he said those words.
I know I haven't been the best father, and neither Yue has been the best mother, though this wasn't a fault of her own. I owe her the affection I was unable to give. I had been a selfish coward for letting her have everything of me except my heart, deceiving her with empty hope. With this, my boy, I appealed to you that you love and take care of her how many days she had on earth. I hope you can be a bigger man who shows her your love is not just the love that feels but also the love that chooses. However….
Shang felt the warmth in his heart instantly die. No one ever had anything good to say when that was their first word.
Son, there is one thing I must tell you, something that I've kept a secret from everyone. I understand if this will come as a shock… but before that, let me tell you…a story.
I met your mother, Xia, many years ago, unexpectedly.
She was feisty, charming and bubbly. She had a big personality and an even bigger heart. Her parents used to own a large piece of land, a peach plantation, which struggled after an invasion by a group of rebels and draught and fell on the edge of bankruptcy. As a way to save their family finances together with countless farmers who relied on them for their livelihood, her family enlisted their daughters to marry a nobleman.
Before long, I heard that Xia's twin sister, Yue was invited to visit the Harem to meet the Son of Heaven with Xia as her chaperone. And I was planning to ask for her hand in marriage that autumn. It was going to be a wonderful year.
But fate had a different plan.
I wasn't angry when Xia accepted the Emperor's unexpected offer to be his consort, but I would lie if I said it didn't hurt. I knew she never desired to be a courtesan, but it was a way to save her family and many others from poverty—a sacrifice she was ready to make. But it didn't stop me feeling disappointed and rejected.
That was the beginning of an end.
At that moment, I believed I'd lost everything: my hope, my future…. and my love. Little did I know what I got in return…. was so much better.
For so many months, I feared my life would be impossible without Xia. I feared the shadow of the man who took everything from me would haunt me. I fear I would hate you, a child of the woman I love with another man.
…a child of the woman I love with another man.
Shang felt his feet taken from under him. He fell on his knee, arms digging on the dust under him. He knew Yue wasn't his mother, but never in his wildest dream had he ever second-guessed that Li Jiang wasn't his father. Never!
His eyes unwittingly fell to the next sentence.
…but from the first moment I saw you, my heart sang.
Li Shang, it was Xia's only plea to let you live as a normal, ordinary boy whose fate wasn't dictated by who his parents were—a boy who is free to pave his path. So , you might wonder why I told you this secret against your mother's will. Because... I firmly believe that for a man to be happy, he has to know who he is.
And if this moment in time you are still wondering who you are: you are loved for the little sensitive boy you once were, the brave man that you are now and the wonderful son you are always will be.
After your mother's passing, I thought I would be like a dead man in the realm of the living. But I was wrong— You help me live.
My son, no soldier is afraid to die, I just hate the thought of not seeing you again. I pray that happiness and peace shall always be with you, Li Shang.
Yours forever,
P.S: I am always searching for the reason why I was lucky enough to meet you.
Li Jiang.
His hands were still trembling, mind twisted in havoc. Even with Arban's poorly formed Chinese character, he could hear the voice of his father behind those words.
A moment of enlightenment came over him. Suddenly all the Hun's friendliness, protection, unexpected kindness and sympathy were given an honest context. This wasn't an act of benevolence. This wasn't compassion. And clearly, this wasn't friendship. This was a strategy. A calculative move by his country's enemy to win his loyalty.
He lifted up his face and narrowed his eyes as he looked at her, "Is this why you've saved me? Because who I am?"
Altan crossed her arms in front of her chest, smirking. "You forgot that the Middle Kingdom is our biggest enemy. You were our biggest enemy and I just can't miss a chance this big."
"Were?" Shang scoffed sarcastically, picking himself from the ground.
"Think about it, what if the world knew Shao isn't the rightful heir to the Middle Kingdom throne? Imagine what kind of anarchy is going to happen. Imagine how the Empress would react if she knew she had a brother. And what can hurt Shao more than seeing Ping and you… together?"
He stalked towards her, but Altan held her place. "Grab your sword," she challenged. She was yet reaching for hers. "Kill me."
Shang didn't have to be commanded twice. He pulled out his sword only to find out it fell immediately to the ground. It felt like it weighed a ton and his right hand barely could lift it, let alone wield it to kill anyone.
She chuckled. "Watch your attitude, you know I am not that stupid to confront you without knowing the facts," and pushed him back with one of her fingers.
Shang stared at his trembling hand. It was as if his right hand had lost all power. What happened?
"The poison," Altan reminded him. "It had paralysed some of your muscles."
Realising he was cornered, Shang pulled back. "So all your charitable help was just a show? Making me your General when deep down you never trust me?"
Altan's smile grew a fraction wider. "You honestly think we were going to be nice to you with no strings attached? After you what your nation did to us? Don't be a fool!"
Shang shook his head, and laughed despite himself, how could he be so blind? "So Arban, Chu'ulun and Ba'atar…"
"Of course," she said, putting away her blade. "Unlike you, I don't keep secrets from my men. However….My father didn't know any of this. He is truly fond of you. And if it was up to him, he'd support you on your throne. You are a much better candidate than that selfish, egoistic scoundrel who cared nothing but himself!"
Throne. The words suddenly choked him. His gut twisted in an unpleasant knot.
It was supposed to be his throne.
Shang was staring at her. His mind went numb. He hadn't gotten a chance to think about the repercussions of his heritage, his true identity. Even if he dreamt of becoming a general leading his own battalion, leading a country was totally a different animal. How could he possibly live with this responsibility?
"Don't you think it makes sense why Shao wants to remove you for good and send you to this suicide mission?" she waited until his heart caught up with his mind. "Shao was not only after our wife, but also your kingdom… even your heir. Hell, if you asked me, he is after everything that you have."
Suddenly Shang felt so stupid. It was clear now that both Shao and this foreign princess were using him up until now. Shang riveted his eyes. "What do you want?"
Altan paced in front of him, hand behind her back. "A difficult question. I want a lot of things. But at the moment. I just want you to be on our side."
"You think you can make me?" he growled.
Altan smirked, "Even if you despise me and my method….what do you have back home? and what do you think Shao will do to you? You don't honestly think he will welcome you home with open arms, do you?"
That struck him. And he haven't even told her the damning revelation that he was apparently on Middle Kingdom's hit list. So, looking at the situation now, he was certain he wouldn't be able to openly cross the country's border, not without a cover or a complete makeover—let alone having a normal life.
Shao Wei. That name suddenly burnt like hellfire. Shao was a friend whom he trusted like a brother. Yet, he dared to steal his wife, kill his father, claim his children… and as if those weren't enough, he was forced to be exiled here.
"Li Shang," she said. She never called him that. Never, until this minute. "I understand your pain." He didn't want to believe it, but the woman in front of him perhaps knew the sting of betrayal far harder than he was.
"You used me!" he balled his fist, glaring at her.
"I know you are angry," she spelt out. "But, even if I was manipulating you, you still get a fair share of this deal. You are... alive."
Shang growled. Was this why they saved him from under that burning tent, nursing him back to health, training him and giving him a respectable title and position? So that they could have their vengeance? I may as well leave him for dead!
The Princess continued to pace calmly. "I am not your enemy."
Shang stared at her, anger still burning hot and cold.
"Don't let this break you," she gave him a look of encouragement. "Don't let him break you. Walk all over you." He didn't realise he was heaving, sweat and tears falling from his face, until Altan squeezed his shoulder.
"You are not defeated when you lose. You are defeated when you quit," she said again. "Now, come with me. And I'll avenge your loss."
"Mulan!" the said messengers hurled their body weight at her. Mulan won't ever be mistaken for the comfort of those voices.
"Ling….Yao!"
Without caring about personal boundaries, they hugged her and she hugged them back.
Peeking behind them she spotted Chien-Po, heaving as he leant against with one hand against the tree from the exertion uphill. He held up one of his hands. "Give me…. a…. moment," he said, attempting to form sentences between wheezes.
"Have you been here long?" she pulled back to take a good look on two of her best friends.
"An hour give or take," Yao glanced at the sundial at the courtyard. "Good record considering the last time Chien-Po climbed a hill it took him nearly half a day."
Ling shook his head, eyes still watering, smiling and staring at her. "We just… missed you. I missed you."
Yao was standing next to him, looking down, but Mulan could see a streak of tears. A set of bows engraved with the initial 'ATH' was in his hand. "Oh, have you…?"
"Yes," Yao said, voice quivered. "Princess Altan told me I can have this."
"I'm sorry," Mulan told him. Asanthi was one of the unfortunate victims of the blast. "But without her, I won't be standing here today. She found me in the snow at Tung Shao Pass. I can take her to her burial site," and pulled out the bracelet Yao gave her as a lucky charm. "I want her to have this."
Yao shook his head, wiping his tears. "No, you keep that. She was loved… by her friends, her husband… Honoured by her master. She had a good, happy life. And that's enough."
Ling wiped his nose with a disgraceful snort and asked her, "Mulan….you… you look well. Much more toned… and tan," he added, moving a few steps backwards to appraise her look. Mulan was wearing a traditional Mongolian outfit and a matching pair of bear skin shoes complete with fox fur ushanka. "And those updos suit you too!"
"I trained with them every day," Mulan told them. And she explained how friendly the Huns were while holding her captive.
"I know you are technically… imprisoned," Ling said. "But seemed like the Princess won't mind if you go."
When Mulan stayed quiet Ling raised his brows. "Don't you miss your family? Your father? Or your equally crazy brother, Ping? And oh! Your Grandma missed you terribly," Ling told her. Mulan recalled the last time she saw her, the old woman had lost a lot of weight.
"Yeah… I know," she replied weakly. "How's my father?"
"He is fine, try to keep busy by writing his new book and keeping your Grandma company. I guess there are only a few things to do with limited mobility," Ling explained, noting that Fa Zhou's leg had been getting worse and confining him to his house.
They chatted gaily about life back home, Ling and Ting Ting who was building a new mansion in the countryside, Chien-Po and Su who was opening a restaurant and Yao who was going to get married this spring. After dancing around the sensitive topic, Ling decided finally to drop the million yuan question. He stepped closer, almost whispering. "You haven't…. forgiven him?"
"I have… but…," she twisted the hem of her robe, unable to come up with a satisfying explanation. There was undoubtedly a strong desire to see Shao again, to talk and give him a chance to make things right, but there was also apprehension and hurt that still lingered.
"But what? I thought you knew Shao and Altan plotted to assassinate the Great Khan and Emperor Xiongnu all along."
She hung her head. "Yes, I did. When Shao proposed to me, he told me all about it. I was shocked, but I got it. He thought this was the fastest way to end the war. I am saddened when the Emperor died," she paused. "But that is not what hurt me the most. I thought he could be honest with me. We made a promise to take care of each other, to have each other's secret and mistake… and yet…"
It didn't escape her attention how the boys bounced a guilty stare from one to the other.
"Mulan, I…," Ling swallowed. "I am not going to….apologise…" he said haltingly. "Because I don't deserve it. I've promised to keep nothing from you… yet I…"
She smiled as she touched his shoulder and whispered kindly, "I know."
Mulan used to question why none of her three friends came to her wedding. There was no crazy bar conquest to celebrate, no wedding gift, no words of congratulation. There was nothing! Now she knew why.
"We thought you won't ever find out… and you'll live a normal, happy life," Chien-Po said. But they also knew that their eyes could never lie—not on the day she married her husband's murderer. And they were right. She and Shao were happy, up to that day when the truth was made clear to her. Knowledge was power, but it was also a curse.
"It's all in the past," she said with finality.
"I think Shao knew something was brewing. He becomes more…. paranoid. He changed all the kitchen staff and just hired extra bodyguards to sleep inside his chambers."
"I am applying for the new bodyguard post," Yao puffed his chest like a rooster.
"And I am the new head chef," Chien-Po smiled dreamily, imagining the spacious kitchen full of first-class ingredients. "I let you sample my food when you return!" he said giddily.
"So you are all…?"
"Returning to the Chang'an? Yes," Ling said with a soft smile. Mulan could imagine their sweet reunion. Four of them working together again, or simply just having food by the fire. Just like the old time.
And she continued to wonder. If Princess Altan never come to kill Emperor Xiongnu, and the Middle Kingdom never retaliated by sending Shang to that suicide mission, all of them would still be together. Yes, there would still be war, but at least they would have each other. In fact, she could clearly picture Shang and Shao going to battle together against the Huns. And she? She would be still staying at home, living a mundane but peaceful life as a dotting wife and raising her children.
"I would love to join you guys," she said off-handedly. And just like that, Ling's face darkened. "I overheard General Zhi, a few others and the advisors discussing…" he paused and exhaled heavily. "Seems like Chi-Fu had reported you for misleading the entire regiment, faking your death…and…."
"They said you are dangerous," Yao chimed in.
Mulan swallowed. That explained the sudden ambush of the Middle Kingdom soldiers back in Danxia (Not that she would mention it to any of her friends). But was this implying that she was fired from her concubine position? Had she just lost all her allowance and privileges? Had she just become a commoner again, who had to endure mundane and tiring peasant life? Mulan knew she was supposed to be upset on her onesided dismissal, but she felt oddly relieved. However, this level of deception usually meant death to the offender and all of his or her immediate family.
"I don't think their objection would mean the usual gallow or chop the head punishment. Shao won't let it happen to you," Ling said, as usual, he had a telepathic ability when it came to reading her mind. "But probably it is good to lay low. For now."
"Of course," Mulan reacted spontaneously. How could she face Shao after all the animosity that transpired between them? Although as time went on, much had ebbed away, but they hadn't…
"Oh, man! You are going to miss those free spa treatments," Ling reprimanded, cutting her thoughts "And you would need to start shaving your legs again. Yourself."
"I always shaved my legs," she felt the need to defend.
Yao chuckled. "Ping, your leg is the only convincing part of your stature in the army."
"You might miss the easy access to an unlimited supply of food," Chien-Po piped in. "But other than that, I'd say staying at Mrs. Li Yue's is not a bad downgrade."
"Yeah, your mother-in-law made killer dumplings," Yao seconded.
"I am just surprised the council made no qualm of our Emperor living with no consort and no Empress." Producing heir have always been the palace's main agenda. "I wondered what happened," Ling rubbed his chin. Shao always had this incredible facility with women. No one would say no even she would be a mere vessel of procreation and nothing else. The likelihood was Shao had rejected all the suitable virgins that were made available for him.
"Maybe he is just… can't trust anyone at the moment," Chien Po offered. There was a lot of speculation and dissent over Shao's motive for sending his Empress away, especially when it coincided with the absence of his favourite consort and the early retirement of General Yan Shu. Shao preferred not to comment.
"After the argument in the inner court with Princess Altan was leaked. A lot of the people who were loyal to Emperor Xiongnu began to begrudge Shao for being a powerful greedy dictator. And his action of sending Empress Zetian to Fujian Palace to 'rest' was dubbed as concealed banishment."
"I won't be surprised if he did so to protect himself… from her. She sacrificed so much for him and he chose his mistress over her?" Yao shook his head. "Ouch Dude."
Mulan crinkled her nose at Yao, "Geez, that certainly made me feel better, Yao. Thanks."
"Or he knew his Empress is sleeping around behind his back. I mean, a normal man couldn't stand with a cheating spouse, let alone the Emperor," Yao added. Mulan opened her mouth about to rebuke their baseless accusation, but Ling beat her to it.
"It's true," Ling said. "A few servants had spotted them. Even heard them. So, Shao is not the only one who could act according to his feelings."
"Come on guys, give her a break!" Mulan objected. "Being an Empress can be a lonely place. It can be just a fling!" Even when Yan Shu's look was no match to Shao's boyish charm, any girl with eyes would be enticed by his rugged, untamed image. Especially for a woman who had been living under the dictation of rules and strict decorum, having an unconventional persona like General Yan Shu must be likened to a breeze of fresh air.
"It might be a superfacial crush at the start," Yao offered. "But how can a woman be expected to forget a man who loved her with such a fierce dedication?"
Mulan was an eyewitness of how the gallant General Yan-Shu protected the Empress from anyone… even her own husband. Hell, he would gladly die for her. And what could withstand such love? even the hardest rock was bound to crumble!
And Mulan's mind flew to an unexpected encounter she had a few months back. Even in peasant clothing, or face half covered, there was no mistake her in recognising the man who had devoted his life to her with a passion that melted even the coldest ice.
It was nearly dark when she and Atilla saw two men mugging a lady in a narrow alleyway outside Qin capital. Instinctively, Mulan was about to jump to help, but another stranger beat her to it. Minutes later, the scuffles ended. When she realised she recognised the unnamed hero intimately, curiosity tickled her mind as to what business he had in this place.
"Your Majesty, are you all right?" Mulan recognised the older man with a beard as Master Peng, the head of Imperial Intelligence.
"Ping!" Attila hissed from behind her and gesticulated her to follow him to leave. But she couldn't possibly not eavesdropping this important conversation now.
"You were facing that hooligans with just an umbrella, what are you thinking?" General Xu Ming reprimanded. "They could seriously hurt you."
"I told you, I'm not afraid to die," Shao replied coolly. He looked paler than usual, his eyes looked sunken and tired as if he hadn't slept for weeks. "If this is how I can redeem myself then I am prepared," he admitted, like it didn't mean anything to him. "May as well die while doing something good. It is what she wanted me to do, to take care of the country… "
The generals exchanged glances. And from the way they reacted, they knew he wasn't speaking of the Empress or the late Lady Shin-Ye.
Mulan saw them taking the woman's home to where she lived nearby. By then Atilla had already given up and went up atop the roof to watch the scene from afar. As a show of gratitude, the woman invited the men to drink tea at one of the city's most famous teahouses.
They sat outside, and Mulan stealthily took a table right behind them. Carefully tuning in the conversation.
At first, the conversation ranged from pedestrian topics of various attractions in the city to the famous local cuisine. Shao's cover story was that he was a Middle Kingdom scholar who was invited for discussion by the Qin royals to solve their farming issue. The woman, named Lian Ji, clearly came from a respectable family, Mulan accessed. Her long, well-manicured fingers, her porcelain pale skin, and her expensive-looking qipao. It was no wonder she became an excellent target of criminals.
Lian Ji told them that she was out to shop for warm clothing for her relatives who lived up on the mountain when the thugs spotted her.
"I should've taken her advice when he told me not to go out unchaperoned," Lian Ji said as they sat down. "But I want privacy, you know? For once I would like to go out on my own. Go my own way and do what I want to do," she glanced towards the two generals who sat on the other table to keep the watch. "I am sure you know how I feel."
Shao nodded pensively but said nothing. Lian Ji seemed to notice the change in his demeanour.
"Is this woman truly that special to you?" she asked, pouring him tea. Shao blinked.
"The woman who wants you to take care of the country," she rephrased. "Sorry, I overheard your conversation, Honored Sir," and she bowed her head lightly. "Please forgive me of my impertinence."
"None was taken," Shao smiled but it didn't mask the sadness in his eyes.
"If one may ask, who is this honourable lady?"
"My wife," he said simply, but the mirror surface of his dark eyes had cracked to show a naked, unrequited longing.
"And she is… gone?"
"She… left," the word spoken with such fragility that made Mulan's heart ached.
"Why is that so, if I may so bold to enquire?"
He was silent for a moment, face darkened. "She….. she offered me a second chance when I thought I had none. She believed in me when no one else did," he paused, closing his eyes and exhaled loudly. "But I betrayed her."
Mulan covered her mouth, repressing the raging emotion in her chest to come bursting out. She remembered the overwhelming disappointment, the budding anger when 'I don't owe you anything!' he threw coldly at her as she demanded him to tell her the truth. He betrayed her. He betrayed her trust, their friendship, and everything they had in between. The recollections flood her like an unending wave and her fingers curled. She bit her lips and tried not to think of how hard she was holding back her tears.
"It was the biggest regret of my life," he admitted, angled his hat so no one couldn't see his countenance—looking lost, desperate and sad. "She is all I have….but I guess… it's too late to apologise."
Shao loved her; Mulan could hear it plainly in the words that he didn't say. And this, she thought, wasn't the action of a wicked man. Despite his shortcomings and moments of weakness, Shao wasn't a monster with no human feelings or someone who deserved her hate and contempt.
"You can find another wife, Honorable Sir. This isn't the end," Lian Ji soothed, reaching for his hand and gently encasing it with hers. Behind them, Master Peng visibly flinched, choking back an exclamation.
But the young Emperor remained quiet. Slowly, he replied brokenly, like a mother who lost her children in a fire, "But I don't think I can love anyone as much as I love her."
Eyes won't ever lie, she remembered what her father said. On their wedding day, Shao stared at her like a man stepping out of a long darkness and blinking in the sunlight, dazed and starving. Like someone who had everything they'd ever wanted spread out before them and yet couldn't touch any of it, could only watch as it slipped through their fingers.
Mulan forced the lump in her throat to go down. If only love was enough.
Unfortunately, life was much more complicated than love or hate, than true or false. But right now, one thing was made clear to her. If she wanted to save him, all she had to do was to return back to the Middle Kingdom. Back home.
"Mulan? Hey, are you okay?" She felt Ling's warm hand on her shoulder.
"I'm… fine," she said, wiping the tears that suddenly found their way down her cheeks. When she looked up, Ling was there, sitting close to her so she could lean over his side to cry. So she did.
"Hey…?" Ling patted her shoulder gently. "I'll be right here. You take your time, as long as you need, we are going to wait for you. I will wait for you. It doesn't matter where you are, even if the sky's fallen, whether you decide to leave or to stay… you'll always have me…"
Before Ling finished his sentence, in a distance, Tarkhan went past.
Ling's jaw dropped. "Captain Li Shang?"
After the unexpected reunion, the trio invited Shang to join them for dinner. The men were sitting around the fire, with a bottle of rice wine between them. Mulan was kind enough to leave the men to catch up with their gallant tales while she was preparing the dinner.
"Captain Li, I still can't believe you….you are… alive!"
Shang was carrying a pile of herbal remedy scrolls that he borrowed from Arban.
"Good heavens! You still….," Chien-Po's eyes trailed up and down Shang's stature. "Ahem, looking good!"
"Well done for still… recognising me," Shang said. It was truly not a trivial feat spotting someone on a badly lit night in a distance.
"It's just a simple plain, ol' carrot," Ling grinned proudly. "Remember the saying, no bunny's wearing glasses?"
"You should add booze to double your vision," Yao chuckled, slapping Ling so hard the man nearly landed in Shang's lap.
"Why are you still here, Captain?"
"How did you survive the blast?"
"Wait, what happened to your leg?!"
And the question went on.
Carefully, he explained how the Huns saved him. He was very fortunate considering he came out alive from a major explosion with just one less limb and temporary amnesia.
"Were the Huns nice to you? Why aren't you coming back? We missed you!"
Shang bit a smile, it was nice to remember he had friends who cared for him but he had to keep his act and his cover story together. "For what?"
"What do you mean 'for what'? The Middle Kingdom is your home. Your friends and families are there. Your recruits, your friend, and Mulan, although she…" Ling stopped himself at Yao's shake of heads from across the fire.
"She what?"
Ling sucked the air through his teeth, "Nothing."
Something ticked in Shang's brain, "Are you talking about me and this guy….Shao Wei?"
Ling tried very hard not to answer but his eyes did. Chien-Po elbowed him so hard that he fell on his side. "Ouch! Don't blame me, I didn't say anything!"
"Don't worry, I am so used to it now. The story of how I got killed so he could steal my wife was no longer stung the way it does." That was a heinous lie. After what Altan told him, it was impossible not to feel angry or betrayed. If it was up to him, Shao would die a horrible death right now.
Ling fiddled with his fingers. "You both were very close."
And Chien-Po sighed. "You were his right-hand man."
"Perhaps just my bad luck then," Shang said, biting his emotion down.
"I don't believe he'd done it on purpose. He married Mulan to save her honour. Her family's honor. But what was initially planned as a coverup, ended up to be more real than reality," Ling explained.
Surprise, surprise. A different version of the story.
"Saving her honour?"
The three men exchanged glances. "Didn't she tell you?" Yao prompted.
"Tell me what?"
They hesitated. But after a few seconds of muted argument and staring contest, Ling acquiesced. "Not long after you went missing….she had a child," he said carefully. "Your child. A girl….named Min Lung."
Never did the word sound like lighting in the middle of the day. That felt like a hard slap on the face. No, it's more like a punch in the gut. But Shang exhaled slowly, willed his countenance to show a healthy amount of surprise as it should.
"Cute two-year-old toddler now," Ling continued. "...But…please don't give her bow and arrow, I already got a feeling her aiming skill will be like yours," and muttered. "That little domestic terrorist."
Was this girl really his? If yes, why did Mulan never mention it?
"You were technically at the battlefront while she was conceived, other people might think, y'know…," Chien-Po fiddled awkwardly with his fat fingers. "And she can't elaborate the honest truth to anyone without losing her, well… so that's why Shao married her as a cover-up."
A ton of regret fell like a brick. If only he could rewrite their fate, they could've been a normal, happy little family, oblivious about his true identity, living a simple and happy life as a commoner.
"Where is… Min Lung now?" his voice strained.
"Since Mulan was kidnapped, the Empress had taken care of Min Lung and Wentai… I think... I don't think any of us ever come to see them in Fujian Palace, the place was strictly guarded," Ling said.
"I like it better when Yue, your mother, gets her turn to take care of the children. She would invite us over," Yao added.
And there was a sudden urge to ask them about the well-being of the only family left over to him.
"Oh yes, my mother, is she…?"
"She is well. She lived almost all by herself though. She dismissed almost all the staff after your father died. Save it for one old lady."
"... Mei Lan," he spontaneously mouthed.
"You remember?"
"I…. I guess so. Vaguely."
"Great, so at least you remember your father and Mei Lan. Progress!"
Shang chewed his lips and willed his mouth not to blurt more than he should.
"Next time you visit, I'll take you to his grave… at the Southern City gate. There is a graveyard for the veteran. However, I heard his body was never recovered. Not fully anyway…"
The puzzlement on his face must be so clear that one of the recruits elaborated for him.
"He died on his way taking Princess Wei Ting to Mongolia," Yao explained. That was like another punch. He always thought his father died when the Huns ambushed his entourage and he found his helmet on the way to Tung Shao Pass. Had the history been rewritten since he was gone?
"I know, it's confusing," Ling rubbed his pointy chin. "It turned up Lieutenant Ming was in your father's armour as he was replacing him on the frontline."
This was getting worse.
"What… what happened to my father?" Shang said with bated breath.
"He was intercepted by a group of bandits, somewhere across the river into the borders. Ting Ting saw his body before she was taken by the gang. Fortunately for her, Admiral Zhi managed to intercept and strike a deal with the thugs and they released her in exchange for a huge monetary ransom."
In Shang's mind, that wasn't a satisfactory explanation. He knew his father wouldn't take the most obvious route, he was a trained soldier and being stealthy was his second nature. How could a group of bandits bump into him by pure coincidence was a chance one in a million?
"By the way Captain," Yao's voice halted his mind drivel. "I have an absurd request," he said shyly.
That absurdly strange request from Yao was a plea to have a rematch from the spar he lost back during the Wuzong time (thinking about it now, Shang thought he should've given this guy a face in front of Meihui who was secretly watching them).
Shang was hungry, but there was still no sign of dinner. Instead, he found himself covered in sweat and dirt, pinning one of his old recruits between his armpit.
"Dinner is here!" Mulan announced. It was clear she dressed up for the occasion, wearing a simple yellow ruqun that complimented her red lip paint so well. He hadn't seen her in her Chinese updo, complete with make-up, acting like a woman her age for… ages. And the sheer incongruity of it made him pause and Yao managed to slip away and swing his balled fist hard to his jaws.
"Ow!"
Shang glared at Yao, who just innocently shrugged. "I think… I win?" A smug grin grew on his lips when Shang paid him with an inconspicuous nod.
"Easily distracted," Ling chided Shang from the side of the clearing. Then looked past him and grinned. "Mulan," he greeted, "Did you say… dinner?"
"Braised smelly tofu in garlic and soybean sauce," Mulan chirped happily."Want to try?"
"I never say 'no' to food," Chien-Po jumped in, rubbing his belly and immediately sang its approval.
"Here is to our reunion," Mulan said easily, but there's an edge to her voice that he can't quite identify. "I mean, this kind of special occasion, right? So, I figure I can use the freedom to delve into some old Chinese recipes. Pardon me for only making one dish. Our ladder here is very limited."
"You made these?" Shang nearly slapped himself for sounding both incredulous and blunt. Culinary artwork may never come naturally to Mulan, but she was a woman who was persistent and determined to learn just about anything.
Thankfully Mulan was in one of those moods so she didn't regard his remark as any form of insult.
"It looks delicious," Chien-Po peered into the pot and licked his lips.
"Thanks!" She replied brightly, "But maybe you should wait until you try."
Chien-Po didn't need more prompting, reaching in to grab the bowl from the tray. He was using a chopstick but still managed to smear soybean sauce all over his face.
Mulan laughed but Chien-Po obviously had no regrets.
"General Tarkhan?" She said, holding the bowl and chopsticks out to him. "Do you want one?" Yes, she addressed him formally. But there was a shyness in the way she held the bowl, looking at him over her eyelashes. It's endearing. He's not really sure why he's saying no. He loved smelly tofu.
"You've got to try these, Captain," Ling said between rapid chews. "They're great."
"Maybe later," Shang said and he saw Mulan's face fall just a little. "I'm all sweaty," he offered as an excuse, "Let me clean up."
"Heh," Chien-Po muttered, "I can't promise there'll be any left for you."
"That's the chance I'll take," he replied, walking past the three of them.
He patted his face dry with a towel and watched Mulan teasing Chien-Po about the soybean sauce on his chin.
There's something different about Mulan this evening and he's not sure if he liked it. She seemed more relaxed than normal around him. Shang watched her as she bantered with Chien-Po. He watched as she laughed at the speed of Chien-Po devouring the content of his bowl and asked for a second. There was a flush to her cheeks and she was smiling.
She seemed happy and…hopeful.
Now her friends were here…was she thinking of going back home? To her family, her friends… and her husband?
Maybe it's a good thing, he thought to himself. They could be both happy with each other's lives even when they were not holding the roles they once were.
"General Tarkhan?" It was then he realized he had been staring. Mulan was not the most perceptive of people but she had a way of seeing straight through him and he desperately didn't want her to know what he was thinking.
Mulan lifted a mouthful to her own lips and took a bite. "They're really good," she said, as if trying to tempt a wild animal to feed from her hand. "Might be my best attempt ever."
There's soybean sauce on her lip. A smear of it just above the bright lipstick she wore.
He wanted to lean in and taste the sweetness on her skin. He wanted to be that man that…—
"No."
Mulan looked crestfallen and Shang realized he had spoken out loud.
Shang clenched his hands and thought about cold water showers, being soaked to the skin by a rainstorm, not eating for three days and any other negative memory he could to shut down his treacherous imagination.
"So, I can have his portion right?" Shang heard Chien-Po pleaded.
"No," Mulan said, quickly snatching the bowl full of rice that presumably was left for him. "But I've made extra," she added, presenting another portion out of her sack.
"All for me? May I finish it?" Chien-Po gasped brightly.
"That's between you and your conscience," Mulan replied. "Or possibly your dietician. I didn't stint on the oil and sugar. They're a bit of a heart attack in food form."
Mulan looked back at him.
"So I'm just going to leave this here for you," she gestured towards the bowl with a lid. "In case you want it later."
"Thanks," Shang managed. Even to him, his voice sounds odd. Strained.
She gave him a look but didn't press it. Before he could process what had happened, she waved her hand and left.
Shang looked at the bowl box full of temptation she left behind and he decided that no, he didn't want a smelly tofu. He's going to go and murder the tomatoes with his arrow in peace instead.
Just as he turned around the corner to peace his mind, Princess Altan appeared right behind him. "General Tarkhan, please pack your and Ping's bag. We'll be going first thing tomorrow with these messengers."
"I beg your pardon?"
Altan just threw the piece of parchment onto his lap. "Read," Ling, Chien-Po and Yao automatically leant closer to join him. From the reaction, they were as surprised as he was.
So Shao invited Princess Altan to a secret meeting and the Princess was planning to take him and Ping along? This could be the worst diplomatic meeting of the century.
"You," she pointed at three of the flinching recruits with the tip of her blade. "You said nothing to anyone about this… or," she made a slicing motion with her finger. "Got it?"
"Understood, Your Highness," Chien-Po gulped.
Shang felt that he needed to tell her something. "But Princess, I…"
But Altan had made up her mind. She held up her hand. "General Tarkhan, we'll be going tomorrow before sunup. Don't stay up too late. There will be a chance for questions at the briefing in the morning." And went off.
Mulan was folding a few warm clothes and stashed them into her bag, ready for the journey. Meanwhile, Ling stood on the threshold of her tent, leaning on one arm. Chien-Po and Yao peek behind him, watching her deftly brush her fur coat before wearing them on. "Why didn't you tell me you are living with Captain Handsome?"
"I… I was about to," No, she clearly wasn't. She said the same thing the last time they found out about that emotionally crippled captain of their regiment was her husband.
"You expect me to believe that?" Ling gave her a look. Yao rolled his eyes and Chien-Po covered his mouth to stifle a giggle. "And how are you still friends with him? Nothing kink…"
"What? No!" she tried her best to put a disgusted face.
"Really?" Yao bobbed his head from under Ling's armpit.
"Guys, listen. He is engaged!" she explained, trying to deliver the line as neutral as possible.
"With who?"
"If I said who, would it matter? Anyway, I am fine with it."
"I see," Ling said, rubbing the stubble on his chin. "He feels… a bit different though. Less stoic."
"...and friendlier," Chien-Po piped in.
Shang undoubtedly had lightened up considerably over the years. Humour and happiness came a bit more easily to him as of late. Perhaps rubbing shoulder with Arban and Chu'ulun did help a bit. And having Suying…—
"He looked skinnier though… and tan. Certainly looked less menacing than the picture inside Hall of Heroes," Yao added.
Mulan raised her brows. "They hang his picture there?" Anyone who was considered the country's greatest hero would receive an honorary reward by having the best portrayal of them displayed there.
"Well, Master Peng have it removed a year ago. But the painter made him unrealistically fair and muscular. No one who trained outdoors every day would look like that!" Ling protested.
"That makes me remember," Yao looked at Ling. "You should tell your brother-in-law to remove the half-naked picture of his uncle's consort from the Guard House."
"He told me she had been nagging him to display it in the foyer where the public can see, but Shao refused. Imagine the country dignitaries gazing over porn material upon arrival? So the next best place to settle is in the Guard House, it would still be well publicised and keep the guard entertained."
"Who put Confucius' picture in the kitchen?" Chien-Po suddenly asked.
"Someone who decided we have no more space on the wall?"
Just as they exchanged banter, Shang passed, leading his horse and carrying a large sack of provisions in tow. When their eyes met, he waved and smiled at them.
"Told you… he changed a lot," Ling said. "Definitely social skill upgrade happening somewhere."
Mulan faked a pout. "Trust me, despite the amnesia, he is still… the most infuriating man I know."
"Infuriatingly handsome may be," Chien-Po chuckled.
Yao crossed his arms, daring her. "Try me."
"Right, so one day, I came home from teaching one of the villagers how to dye silk….which was quite a thing since all they knew was to wear animal skin clothing. So, when they knew I could teach them how to do it, it became an instant hit. Anyway, I must have forgotten that my hands were red and touched my face when I wiped my forehead. Then, I got back to the encampment and ran unto him after his combat practice," she narrated in great detail. What she didn't tell them was how Shang was topless, all sweaty and freaking irresistible.
"As soon as he saw me, he started grinning. I thought, wow… what a change from his usual static face! Maybe the concussion did him good!"
"He stopped to say hi and I asked him about his training. He told me his training routine and what the Huns had taught him and all these while he was still grinning!" And if Mulan was to be honest, seeing Shang's smile was like a heavenly light shining on her face. She could bask forever in it.
"Then?"
"Then I went off," she told them the sanitised version. The truth was she exited the scene with a demure wave (and secretly hoped Shang didn't miss the hint of a flirty little goodbye pout). "I got to the market to grab some groceries, all the while not understanding why everyone was looking and smiling at me. Until I got into my tent and looked at the mirror…and realised the red paint all over my forehead! And he….—He didn't even spare a thought to tell me!"
"Nothing from your story made him an incredibly handsome jerk, Mulan. He probably just thought you were cute," Chien-Po placated.
"Or a clumsy moron," Yao chuckled.
"But I am surprised Captain Li remembered Mei Lan. Not being disrespectful, but isn't she like a side character in his life story?" Ling voiced his thoughts. "If he remembered her, I wonder what else he might remember?"
Then something hit her. She recalled something odd happening in Danxia Valley. When those soldiers chased them, she slipped and ended up falling into the raging river underneath.
He dived to save her. But the current was much too strong, dragging them away towards the lake, away from their pursuer. Once the torrent subsided, she remembered trying to swim frantically to the surface, but something was holding her back. It was her dress, the tip of it was caught on an old branch rotting on the floor of the lake. She could feel her mind get foggier as her lungs screamed for air. Suddenly, Shang swam around her periphery, grabbing her face…
…and pressed his lips on hers.
She was stunned by the sudden invasion of personal space, only to realise that he gave her a few extra breaths while he tried to work on freeing her.
A few seconds right then felt like a lifetime. Despite an extra dose of air, she could feel her body go limp from a combination of lack of oxygen and hypothermia. She was so weak that Shang had pulled her out of the water with his good arm.
"Hang on there," he pleaded, frantically tapping her cheek to induce her consciousness.
When their eyes met, she saw a glimpse of fear. The same fearful eyes she saw when Shan-Yu pursued her with no way to escape.
"Thank… thank you," she managed when she cleared her airway and threw up a bucket full of water. Without warning, he pulled her into his arm. "M-mulan, thank god…"
She held him back as he clung to her and cried.
It must be destiny, she thought when she counted how many times their paths twined despite being separated by time and place. His body was warm, and the soothing timbre of his heart carried her to faraway places. Then everything around her went dark.
Mulan dreamt she was lying somewhere safe and warm, and her body limped with heat. It was all wonderful and blissful until a single droplet of cold water landed on her nose, taking her back to the realm of the living.
She blinked her eyes a few times to gain her vision. The first thing she noticed was Shang. Under the weight of slumber, he was leaning against the cold wall, encasing her in his arms, letting the heat of his chest radiate to warm her body. His dry clothes were laid protectively covering her back. It smelt of him, woodsy and fire from a faraway land. Seconds later, she realised she was wearing nothing but a slightly damped undergarment. And so was he.
Dear Guan Kim….
Her mind deduced he was just trying to save her, nothing else.
"Mu…Mulan?" he croaked, opening his eyes as well from his slumber.
She lifted her head, looking around while covering her bare chest with the only piece of fabric she had. "Where… where are we?"
When her eyes had grown used to the darkness of the room, she realised they were in a cave.
Shang hadn't moved. He didn't look like he could move: he was frozen to the spot, staring at her, not with a worried glance he had earlier but something far more primal.
She flinched, her heart beating hard against her ribcage. The look in his eyes faded and he quickly made a polite distance between them, turning away to face the wall. "You were unconscious for a while." Yes, she figured, it must be the exhaustion and hypothermia kicking her all at once. "I've hung our clothes outside. It should be dry now," he said hoisting himself. She quickly tore his eyes off him, feeling acutely embarrassed as if he hadn't seen her naked before.
"Thank you for saving me," she said, hearing the rustle that suggested he was heading outside.
And there was a pause. "I've promised you many times over. Ping, I will always have your back."
I will always have your back.
Those fearful eyes when he stared down at her after saving her from the raging river. That longing stare at the cave. She realised there was a similarity. These were eyes that had known her. The revelation suddenly hit like a wave.
"Ling…" Mulan gasped. "I think…. I think he remembers… everything."